Common Problems• Proper Headings for Format• Transitions and Commas• Improving Word Choice• Avoid Repeating Same Ideas• Transitions

Proper HeadingsIf it’s a letter, include proper headings and closure: Dear Donating Family,Sincerely, Ms. Claxton

If it’s a speech: Hello Fellow Classmates,Thank you for your time and attention regarding this matter.

Ideas: Score Point 5For many years, children have idolized a certain athlete, actor, singer, or comedian. These children often refer to the celebrity as his or her role model. These role models may think that some of the things they do are appropriate; however, they don’t realize that children all over the world are watching and imitating their actions.

While at a youth football game, I noticed a nine-year-old boy return a kick.. It was clear the young athlete had a touchdown, outrunning all the defenders.. As the boy approached the inzone, however, he for no reason dove into it.. As I watched the referees throw a flag, I couldn’t help but think of how many times I had seen NFL players do the same dive..

At school everyday, from small children to seniors, I see imitations of rappers.. Children five years old are using perverted language and inappropriate words because they saw there favorite rapper do it on television.. Students even get in trouble for showing gang signs that they see their role model make.. The dangerous thing is that these signs can get the students hurt because they don’t know the meaning of them..

The reason I’ve given these examples is because children, it’s completely fine to have someone to look up to; just be careful.. Many of your athletes are wonderful at what they do, but when you copy a Terrel Owens’ dance or copy Randy Moss acting as if he is mooning the crowd, you’re taking a great deal of respect and discipline out of the game.. When some of you kids act like Snoop Dog and cuss and make gang signs, you’re offending people.. If you want a truly great role model, look for an athlete who performs well, then gives credit to his team, and doesn’t keep it to himself.. Look for an actor or a singer who watches their language at award shows.. Look for a celebrity who has earned the respect of others by doing his or her job, not making scenes or starting fights..

So kids, if you want to have a role model, that’s cool. Look for good characteristics in the person you look up to though. Choose somebody you would be proud to act like when you’re an adult, somebody others would respect and look up to.

The writer develops the supporting ideas with relevant specific details and elaboration.

Organization 4

Problems in Writing: Repeating Ideas(Repetition is Highlighted)

I am writing to let you know that you should not have cancelled my favorite TV show. The first reason you should put my favorite show back on TV is because it is entertaining. The second reason you should bring back my show is because it teaches kids how to do the right thing. The third reason you should bring back my show is because lots of people love this show.

The first reason you should put my favorite show back on TV is because it is entertaining. It is one of the funniest shows on TV, and it is has a lot of excitement. It is really entertaining.

The second reason you should bring back my show is because it teaches kids how to do the right thing. There are kids my age on the show and they go through the same things I do. So it teaches us to do the right thing.

The third reason you should bring back my show is because lots of people love this show. It will make lots of people happy if they could watch the show again. I know if you put the show back on, lot’s of people will watch it.

So in conclusion, I have told you three reasons why you should bring back my favorite show. It is entertaining, it teaches kids to do the right thing, and lots of people want to watch the show.

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Improving Your Style• Make sure your enthusiasm for the topic and your

voice is consistently demonstrated.• Directly address the reader.• Reveal your reactions and opinions about the topic

and events.• Use engaging language in every paragraph.• Is the writer using strategies to reach out and

engage the reader?– Questions– Directly addressing reader– Trying to make the reader laugh?

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Mistakes Writers Make in Style• Uses language that is simple and ordinary

• Repeats the same words and sentence patterns

• Does not craft language to engage the reader or reveal his/her own attitude toward the topic to the audience.

• Does not address the reader anywhere in the paper

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Upgrade Your Word ChoiceI like eating and drinking in class; it is a good idea because it’s a great way for students to

focus. • Good= extraordinary• Great=tremendous• I like= the benefit in students is • Like= For example,

The idea of eating and drinking in class can have a tremendous benefit on the level of attentiveness and focus in students today.

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Audience Awareness

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Key Questions in Organization

• Does the paper have a beginning/middle and end? (introduction, body, conclusion)

• Are related ideas grouped together?

Conventions

• Correct Spelling• Subject and Verb Agree• Capitalization• Correct Punctuation• No Fragments

Transitions• Only use transitions when they fit logically. • You do not HAVE to begin each topic sentence with a transition.

Avoid However in a topic sentence. Some transitions are:Therefore,Furthermore,Consequently,As a result,First and foremost,Moreover, All in all,

(Try to remember at least 5)

Persuading Your Audience