Comcast ‘Internet Essentials’ Should Inspire College Lunch Program

By Austin Johansen Monday, August 08, 2011

Comcast unveils a new program making internet service available for those who have trouble

affording lunch. I propose Comcast makes lunch available to those who have trouble affording their

cable and internet.

Comcast, the cable and internet provider more readily known for its spotty customer service and

recent unnerving merger with NBC-Universal, unveiled its beacon of good will for 2011 in its “Internet

Essentials” program, which offers basic Internet connectivity services for low-income families.

The program is highly affordable and, from all surface appearances, a commendable step in Comcast’s

progress towards diversity outreach by “taking aim at what has become a 21st Century Civil Rights issue

— broadband adoption,” as stated on Comcast’s official blog.

The new program was inspired by Comcast’s diversity initiatives, albeit required as a condition of its NBC

merger. The program offers a relatively speedy internet connection for $9.95 per month (plus tax) for

families with at least one child receiving free school lunches through the National School Lunch

Program, with no fear of price increases, activation fees or equipment rental fees. Additionally, new

customers can purchase a “netbook-style laptop computer” at initial registration for about $150.

Hands down, this is one hell of a deal for the Internet-deprived. Comcast’s diversity obligations have

manifested beautifully as an affordable Internet-providing service for families in dire enough straits to

rely on government aid for its children’s lunches.

In this rapidly-evolving Age of Information, children being left uninformed and undeveloped

technologically will fall by the wayside later in life, all because their parents had to choose groceries over

a new Macbook. A resounding “Bravo” to you, Comcast.

Now for the encore: I’m calling for a “nourishment deployment” initiative for loyal Comcast subscribers

on college campuses nationwide. Students maintaining the cable and internet connectivity required of

most colleges are often left undeveloped metabolically, incorporating peanut butter into endless recipes

to compensate for protein sufficiency.

Too familiar are we as a nation with the archetype of a broke, hungry college student—signing up for

different credit cards weekly in order to exploit a free pizza, waiting in an hours-long line for a $5

sandwich being sold at a mob-inducing $1. Yes, the four dollar difference means that much to the

malnourished academic.

The oft-forgotten demographic of Comcast subscribers within that group needs to speak up. Too long

have we endured hours on hold with Comcast’s highly outdated musical selections. Too tedious are the

live chat room conversations we’re then forced to endure in an effort to talk to someone, anyone who

can tell us what the hell the Pig Latin-encoded error message on our television screens means.

I applaud your diversity efforts, Comcast, making Internet available to those who can barely afford

lunch. Now is the time to continue pioneering and make lunch available to those who can barely afford

your Internet.

And by the way, I’m still on hold.