College Parenting 101

What Should I Expect and How Do I Help?

First - Year students are bombarded with new experiences. Parents want to be helpful

but are often unaware of the issues, concerns, resources, and policies on the campus. The following time line will serve to take you through your student's first year of college life and help you become better prepared.

June/July - Beginning the Transition

• Come to Orientation• Students select courses• Students meet classmates• Students become aware of what we will expect of them as a Rider

University Student.• Students make friends and begin the process of becoming a student

• Issues – Excitement and anticipation, Fear of not succeeding, Missing significant other, First time away from home, Preparing to be an adult.

 • Home Life - Perhaps more argumentative, Movement to more Freedom,

Concern about parents, siblings and friends, Push to choose a major.

August - Getting Ready  

• Gathering all the items needed for College• Getting Room assignment • Calling roommate (s)• Trying to figure out how you will fit everything into your room.• Health forms in and required vaccinations updated.• Has own health insurance card• WCC students arrive August 28

• Issues - Leaving home, Visiting relatives and friends, Fear of not fitting in, buying the right wardrobe, Having the right supplies.

 • Home Life- Hectic time, Volatile emotions, Feeling pulled in all directions,

make time for important conversations, Insuring that you have everything.

September - Getting Here • Arrive on Campus for Orientation September 2 (check -in 8:00- 1:00) • Parent and student session 2:00 p.m. Sept 2• Parents Leave ( 3:00 p.m. Sept. 2)• Setting up room• Meeting roommate sharing expectations• Getting involved in Service and Activities• Making new friends• Self Regulation - Attending Class (syllabus), Getting up for classes on their own, residence life

rules, commuting, doing homework• New Class schedule - faster pace of academic work• MAKING CHOICES • Issues - Fitting in, Fear of failure, Time management, Money management, Being a responsible

adult, making choices about alcohol, drugs and sex.  • Home Life/Campus Life - Telephone calls either short (everything is great) or long (everything is

wrong) Commuters are too busy to be home, Lots of activities on campus, Not sure about classes = possible trouble, Service commitments, New relationships, Making choices about schoolwork, alcohol, drugs , sex, Questioning status of old relationships, Athletic competition is tougher, courses require a lot of reading and homework.

October – Reality Begins • First tests and papers are returned• Roommates begin to share differences with each other• Circle of friends established• Homecoming• Get sick• May have conflicts with the rules – parent partnership• Money runs short• Phone bills arrive• No fall break• Diversity on campus• Home sick• WCC Family Day Oct. 26/27

• Issues - Academic performance issues, trouble in paradise, money matters, food begins to get repetitive, searching for place to fit–in, rule conflicts/judicial hearings

• Home Life /Campus Life: roller coaster emotions, desire to come home on weekends, nothing to do, fear of failure, fear of not fitting in, unbalanced lifestyle, romance

 

November - Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas any more!

• Explore academic and career options• Academic reality sets in • Family Weekend (Nov.3)• Choose courses for next semester• Thanksgiving Break• Disenchantment• Friends become estranged or very attached work load begins to pick

up for final exam push • Issues– Push to choose or re-examine major, Course selection for

second semester, College isn’t as rosy as once thought, Identity issues.

 • Home/Campus Issues – Work load increases, Papers due, Prepare

for final exams, Worried about academic performance, Concern over major

December – I can’t wait to get home!!!

• Holiday concerts• Final exams• Holiday parties• First semester assessment • Extended separation from new-found friends and significant friends• Second semester tuition concerns  • Issues – Grades will be coming home, Will their grades meet their

(and Your) expectations for success, Curfew hours and household rules, Financial concerns for second semester tuition and books.

 • Home/Campus Issues – What do I do all during break?

Reacquainting with family, grade issues and concerns, missing boy/girlfriend, I learned so much (--- Mark Twain), Re-evaluating choices.

January - Home isn’t the same • Break is long• Grades come in• Conflicted about academic major• House Rules• Financial concerns about tuition/books/ spending• Some friends change schools• Excitement about coming back to Rider University • Issues – Parent/Child relationships, Questioning Rider,

Missing new friends, Self reflection and assessment. • Home/ Campus Issues– Friction about rules, Boredom,

concern or happiness about grades, Money management.

February – There is a reason for February being the shortest month!

• Time for new a beginning• Using university resources• Greek Rush “officially begins” Please stay in touch with your

student.• Dreary weather• Tests/ papers • Begin to get in shape for spring swim suits • Issues – Fresh start, Identifying and using academic resources,

reunited with friends, Greek rush leads to interests in different houses, Roommate conflicts, Mental Health issues, Physical health concerns, Spring Break planning.

 • Campus/ Home Issues – Concern about academic performance,

Reunited with friends, Greek rush means difficult choices and consequences, Depression, Eating disorders, Snow, Money.

March - March Madness • Mid term exams and papers• Course selection• Fill out financial aid forms - Due March 1• Academic Major Choices• College Basketball tournaments• Spring Break• Changing Weather• Illness• Academic concerns  • Issues – Can I really make it here? Choices about alcohol, drugs,

sex, relationships; Roommate concerns, fitting –in, Money. • Campus/ Home Issues – Money ( financial aid forms due for the

next year, Spring break, Decisions and self –exploration, Questioning what they will get out of college, Confusion over major. Family concerns and issues.

April – Spring Has Sprung

• Weather improves• A million activities and big campus events• Room selection• End of year papers• Academic pressure increases• Concern over long summer break• Search for summer jobs• Academic re-evaluation• Major choice• Issues – Academic achievement, Concern about missing friends, First year of

college over, summer jobs, Work and fun conflict • Campus/Home Issues – So much to do so little time, Friends become very

important, Spring Formals, How do I find a summer job? Summer School option, Concern about friends leaving, Leadership opportunities present themselves.

May – I Made It!

• Exams• Move home• Miss friends• Start summer job• Redefine household contract • Issues – Reality arrives, Choices for next year, Missing friends,

parent/child relationship, Desire to get back to school • Home/ Campus Issues – Saying good-bye, Checking out,

Finishing exams. 

Congratulations You Are Now The Proud Parents of a

Sophomore!!!

But that’s another story!