The need- has been f e l t f o r some time f o r a f r e q u e n t l y p u b l i s h e d j o u r n a l t o comment upon the a f f a i r s of the C o l l e g e w h i l s t t h e y are s t i l l t o p i c a l , and t o b r i n g t o the a t t e n t i o n of i t s members the a c t i v i t i e s of Clubs and. S o c i e t i e s o f which people at p r e s e n t know l i t t l e , and knowing l i t t l e , t e n d t o care even l e s s . T h i s i s a f u n c t i o n w h i c h c l e a r l y cannot be performed by THE PR (EN I X , p a r t i c u l a r l y s i n c e t h a t e s t i m a b l e b i r d i s now t o appear o n l y t w i c e k y e a r , and so FELIX has come t o meet the need. We do not i n t e n d t o e ncroach upon the l i t e r a r y f i e l d c o v e r e d by THE PHOENIX; r a t h e r do we i n t e n d t o be complementary t o t h a t . j o u r n a l , even i f not always complimentary. N e i t h e r are we i n any f a y connected w i t h i t , n o r are we I t s o f f s p r i n g . (I n any c a s e , t h i s u n f o r t u n a t e b i r d i s presumably u n a b l e t o produce any o f f s p r i n g , s i n c e o n l y one b i r d e x i s t s at any one t i m e , r i s i n g f rom the ashes of i t s p r e d e c e s s o r . Perhaps t h i s a c counts f o r i t s d o l e f u l a p p e a r a n c e ) . No, THE PHOENIX w i l l remain m e s s e n t i a l l y l i t e r a r y magazine, whereas we s h a l l c o n t e n t o u r s e l v e s w i t h p r o v i d i n g a commentary upon events and p e r s o n a l i t i e s .

The success or f a i l u r e of t h i s paper depends p r i n c i p a l l y upon you, our r e a d e r s . I n the f i r s t p l a c e we depend upon you t o produce many of our a r t i c l e s and r e p o r t s , s i n c e our s t a f f cannot themselves a t t e n d and r e p o r t every C o l l e g e e v e n t . S e c o n d l y we depend upon you t o m a i n t a i n a l i v e l y oorresoondence i n our columns. Here I s an o p p o r t u n i t y f o r you t o a i r y^ur o p i n i o n s , i d e a s and g r i e v a n c e s t o the whole C o l l e g e i n s t e a d of j u s t t o those w i t h i n e a r s h o t at the b a r , and r e p l i e s can be p u b l i s h e d b e f o r e everyone has f o r g o t t e n what t h e o r i g i n a l l e t t e r was about. T h i r d l y we depend upon y..u (to buy y.ur own copy of FELIX, and not j u s t t o r e a d somebody e l s e s copy. We do net t h i n k t h a t 3d Is beyond the f i n a n c i a l scope even of a s t u d e n t t r y i n g t o l i v e on a F.E.T. g r a n t , and c o p i e s f o r a term c o s t l e s s t h a n a p i n t of b e f r .

Any p r o f i t s made by the paper are t o be devoted t o S p o r t s Day, s i n c e i t appears t h a t the U n i o n i s now so impecunious t h a t i t may be u n a b l e t o s u b s i d i s e coaches and t e a s on t h a t i m p o r t a n t o c c a s i o n .

Any c o n t r i b u t i o n w i l l be welcomed, whether i t be a f u l l a r t i c l e on the m a r i t a l customs of the W a t u s s i or a chance remark h e a r d i n the b a r . C o n t r i b u t i o n s and l e t t e r s s h o u l d be a d d r e s s e d t o : - The E d i t o r , I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n , P r i n c e Consort Road', C o n t r i b u t o r s may w r i t e under nems de plume i f t h e y w i s h , but must s u p p l y t h e i r names and C o l l e g e s w i t h t h e i r c o n t r i b u t i o n s .

A debt of g r a t i t u d e i s owed t o F.C.EWELS f o r h i s s u g g e s t i o n of a t i t l e . He s h a l l be rewarded, w i t h a s a u c e r of m i l k .

We note w i t h p l e a s u r e t h a t D i n n e r i n H a l l i s s t e a d i l y g a i n i n g s u p p o r t as a r e g u l a r C o l l e g e f u n c t i o n . We l e a r n t h a t 40 Dutch s t u d e n t s are a t t e n d i n g next Tuesday's d i n n e r . I f every member of the C o l l e g e makes a p o i n t of a t t e n d i n g t h i s f u n c t i o n a t l e a s t once a t e rm, I t s s u c c e s s w i l l be a s s u r e d .

C o l e b r a t l o n w i t h Kup'-rcusslone .

*'OT c e n t u r i e s men, women and c h i l d r e n , connected i n the s m a l l e s t way w i t h t h i s c o u n t r y , have taken i t t o be t h e i r joyous and i n a l i e n a b l e r i g h t t o rend the s i l e n c e and blacknes.s o f t h e November n i g h t , f o r one n i g h t o n l y , w i t h l o u d e x p l o s i o n s and v i v i d f l a m e s and f i r e w o r k s .

The men, women and c h i l d r e n of t h i s C o l l e g e d i f f e r l i t t l e f r o m t h e i r p r e d e c e s s o r s i n t h i s r e s p e c t , and on"~Novembor 5 t h 1949, many hundred s t u d e n t s w i t h e s c o r t ..-mereed from the merrymaking at the- "Hop" to gambol and c a p e r , - i n d e e d t o c e l e b r a t e i n the way t h a t Guy Pawkes so u n w i t t i n g l y i n i t i a t e d . Know t h i s , f r i e n d s ; t h e s e merry-makers w-re i n d e e d worthy of t h a t t i t l e . The a p p e l l a t i o n s of organised, t r o u b l e - m a k e r s or h o o l i g a n s r i n g as u n t r u e as a p o l o g i e s ' i n the ear of one who has been c r i o n l o d i n the Scrum. Imagine, t h e r e f o r e , the c o n s t e r n a t i o n among t h e s e r e v e l l e r s a t b e i n g g r e e t e d i n the shadow of the A l b e r t H a l l by our b l u e - c o a t e d b r o t h e r s i n i n f l a m e d mood. Report a f t e r r e p o r t was passed around of he who had been punched i n the k i d n e y s , she who was pushed i n the f a c e , and o t h e r s w o r s e l y h a n d l e d .

T h i s t r e a t m e n t , one may c o n j e c t u r e , was d e s i g n e d t o q u e l l any merrymaking and f I r e w o r k i n g , and i n f a c t f o r c e " a h a s t y r e t r e a t by a l l t o the F n i o r t . The d e s i g n was bad; t h e r e are p r o b a b l y few o t h e r b o d i e s i n the B r i t i s h ccmrrranity who v a l u e t h e i r freedom and t h e i r r i g h t s as much as S t u d e n t s . The rough b e h a v i o u r of the Law a r o u s e d i n d i g n a t i o n , hut a p a r t from u r g e n t e x p o s t u l a t i o n , no d e p a r t u r e was made from t h e p r a c t i c e of B o n f i r e l i g h t i n g , the c r e a t i o n of M i g h t y E x p l o s i o n s and the i n d e s c r i b a b l e w h i r l and t u r m o i l a t t e n d a n t upon the F e s t i v a l S p i r i t . Indeed 4 s t u d e n t s (one at l e a s t of whom comes from The Bush) were d e f y i n g the f l a m e s and. f l y i n g f i r e w o r k s i n a dance of d e l i g h t round the f i r e . Meanwhile The P r i n c e Consort l o o k e d down b e n i g n l y , and r e a s s u r e d h i m s e l f , we a r e s u r e , by t e l l i n g h i m s e l f of the s a f e t y of the s t r u c t u r e around h i s head.

Others seemed- t o d i s a g r e e , a l b e i t r e v e r e n t l y , w i t h the measured o p i n i o n of the P r i n c e and more b l u e helmets were seen t o bob t h e i r way ( u s u a l l y accompanied by a c o n s t a b l e ) towards the f i r e - h armless as i t was. I n an i n s t a n t t h e r e was a t p u r t of w ater: a l o u d h i s s i n g and an u p r i s i n g of angry steam marked the d o u s i n g of the f r i e n d l y f l a m e s . B u t , f r i e n d s , t h i s was not a l l . The j e t of water h a v i n g done i t s deed was then d i r e c t e d on t o t h o s e who h i t h e r t o , had been e n j o y i n g the p l e a s i n g warmth and h a p p i n e s s exuding from the f i r e . Only one outcome c o u l d t h e r e be; s t u d e n t s bore down upon the u n p l e a s a n t hose i n an attempt t o m a i n t a i n the d r y n e s s of t h e i r c l o t h i n g . The f u r t h e r outcome was u n e x p e c t e d , f o r i n an i n s t a n t some of our numbers were l i n k i n g arms w i t h p o l i c e m e n and w a l k i n g i n some h a s t e towards the m o b i l e p o l i c e van's .

I t became e v i d e n t t h a t s t r o n g measures were b e i n g t a k e n by the Law t o d i s c o n t i n u e the customary c e l e b r a t i o n ; and even more so when s t u d e n t a f t e r s t u d e n t was f l u n g i n t o a b l a c k van and removed t o c u s t o d y . I t wis an Uneven c o n t e s t , f o r the umpire was not on our s i d e . However, t h e s t u d e n t body i s not one t o say goodbye b e f o r e the f i n a l w h i s t l e , and t h e i r a t t e n t i o n s h a v i n g been d i s t r a c t e d from the a l b e r t Memorial Steps (oh, bad s t r a t e g y , s i r ' . ) some s t u d e n t s were seen t o have d i f f i c u l t y i n c r o s s i n g the r o a d towards t i n . H a l l w i t h o u t l i f t i n g a v e h i c l e or two out of t h e way. F i n a l l y , c o n s c i o u s of the f a c t t h a t the b e s t a c t i v i t i e s s h o u l d not c o n t i n u e a f t e r the c l i m a x , c r i e s of "Come on I.C." and tte c h a n t i n g of the; I . C .Boomalaka brought an o n j o y a b l e - but d i s a p p o i n t i n g - e v e n i n g t o a c l o s e

- F o r some, but o t h e r s , l a n g u i s h i n g i n C h e l s e a P o l i c e S t a t i o n , were not w h o l l y a p p r e c i a t i v e of the humour of the o c c a s i o n . These 16 u n f o r t u n a t e s appeared b e f o r e the Beak on the Monday, t o be remanded f o r a f o r t n i g h t , s i n c e t h i s was C o n s i d e r e d to be no mere d i s p l a y of "the exuberance of y o u t h " but a s e r i o u s i n c i d e n t . I n the i n t e r i m p o l i c e h e l mets w i r e sought among the s t u d e n t bode w i t h l i t t l e s u c c e s s ; many h e a r t s , however, were

gladck.no«5 by %h( a p p a r i t i o n s MR' $38$ Bouses of P a r l i a m e n t o f a s i m i l a r - o b j e c t . Par be i t from me t o speak sub judi.0<* r e g a r d i n g t h o s e y e t t o be t r i e d . However1', l e t us w i s h them god speed, i n . r e t u r n i n g t o us from t h e Court and, moreover, l e t us d i g d- ep i n our pockets t o h e l p pay t h e i r f i n e s .

_. TAURUS. A F o l i c em an 1s L o t ,

I'here's murder, rape and a r s o n , and a l i t t l e l a r c e n y , i'he N a t i o n c r i e s "Where are the p o l i c e , the g u a r d i a n s o f

the f r e e ? ^ h e r e are our b l u e c l a d b o b b i e s - C h e l s e a B and Hyde Park VA? P r o t e c t o r s of our p r o p e r t y , do you earn your n e w - r a i s e d pay?"

But w a i t - our bravo Commissioner i s p l a n n i n g i n h i s den W i t h b a t t e r i e s of t e l e p h o n e s and f u l l two thousand men • .. To summon up when need a r i s e - the time i s c l o s e a t hand. The -Law may move so s l o w l y , but i t s m a j e s t y i s grand.

H i s s p i e s are w o r k i n g n i g h t end day - d i s g u i s e d i n a W o l s e l e y c a r

v»hy at t h i s very moment two are i n the b a r . They b r i n g a t a l e of a d r e a d f u l p l o t , t h e Commissioner's brow

Is s t e r n , H i s Orel- r c f the Day goes out -"The Memorial s h a l l not b u r n ! "

(At i i end on C o l l e g e i n '22,the Commissioner l e a r n t a t h i n g or two

He l e a r n t t o t w i r l a t r u n c h e o n and developed q u i t e a t h i r s t B ut. f o r g o t t o ' l e a r n t h a t of t h i n g s t h a t burn, stone s t a t u e s

are the v/orst .)

Now the W e l f a r e S t a t e cannot . t o l e r a t e the o l d f a s h i o n e d s t u d e n t pranks

B utw i l l guard S i r Moswald Osley and h i s d i r t y s h i r t e d ranks F o r b r a i n s are at a d i s c o u n t and s t u d e n t s s t o c k s are low Model, p r i s o n s f o r our f e l o n s , but the s t u d e n t s r a g must go. Cnj.y Fawkes n i g h t i s over - the Commissioner's f e e l i n g smug He's saved what was never i n danger - what a s t o r y t h e papers

can p l u g " P o l i c e Save Famous St o t u e " , " C a l m i n the Face of F i r e " Don't mention t h e y l a c k e d any v e s t i g e of t a c t , o r the blows

i n the B l a c k M a r i a .

The Commissioner draws up h i s b a l a n c e sheet,two columns - one p r o f i t - one l o s s

D e b i t - helmets f o r twenty policemen,one s e r g e a n t who took a bad t o s s

C r e d i t - t e n students a r r e s t e d ( v i c t o r y of brawn over b r a i n ) One s t a t u e s a v e d - f o r t h e N a t i o n , and t h e g r a t e f u l N a t i o n ' s

a c c l a i m . But h i s premature mirth, was s t r a n g l e d at b i r t h the crowning

j o k e was t o come Soon the N a t i o n ' s cheers are changed to j e e r s , " T h e S t u d e n t s "

they c r y , "have won". Fo r a helmet a d o r n i n g a bobby's head i s a t h i n g of beauty

and grace But a helmet a t o p of a Commons s c i r e - Oh Commissionert

l o o k at your f a c e t

J.K.3.

M 0 f? p H y p fly

1949

MOR PHY CUP. B e f o r e

would w i n to.

R0WI1JG. By our Rowing C o r r e s p o n d e n t ,

the day, a l t h o u g h o p i n i o n s were Morphy C u p , - a l l were agreed th;

/ u 1-

d i v i d e d as to who t i t would be a

mporb c'oxlng*, G u i l d s h R.S .M: and R.C.3

coxswain's race;. I t was'. For the f i r s t time i n l i v . i i . i g memory a c l a s h o c c u r r e d , n e c e s s i t a t i n g a - r e s t a r t , and t h i s happened not once, but t h r e e t i m e s .

I n view of t h i s , perhaps a few words on s t e e r i n g the Morphy would be h e l p f u l . The Laws of Beat R a c i n g s t a t e t h a t the prop e r course f o r a boat t o be s t e e r e d i s t h a t which w i l l t a ke i t t o the f i n i s h i n the s h o r t e s t t i m e . T h i s means t h a t the coxswains must t r y t o keep t h e i r b o a t s i n the f a s t e s t f l o w i n g oart of the stream. Thus, i n the- Morphy, the f i r s t b a t t l e f o r p o s i t i o n , comes at Harrods bend, where a wide t u r n means the o u t s i d e crow l o s i n g the s t r e a m , and the second a t Fulham f o o t b a l l ground where, i f a wide t u r n i s made, the i n s i d e crew can g a i n § a l e n g t h i n a few s t r o k e s .

M i n d f u l of trie way i n w h i c h , by won the Morphy l a s t y e a r , the coaches of t h crews spent much time in. t e l l i n g t h e i r coxes t h a t they must on no account be pusher] out of t h e i r c o u r s e s . As i t t u r n e d out, the cox e s , f o r once, had l i s t e n e d o n l y t o o w e l l , arid m i s t a k i n g i n j u n c t i o n s a g a i n s t b e i n g pushed f o r o r d e r s t o f o r c e t h e i r way t h r o u g h , t h e y made a f i a s c o of what would p r o b a b l y have been the f i n e s t Morphy ov . r-.

So much f o r e x p l a n a t i o n s . What of the r a c e i t s e l f ? As the crews d r i f t e d under Hammersmigh B r i d g e the sun came

out and made c o n d i t i o n s f o r the r a c e us p e r f e c t as c o u l d be w i s h e d . R.C.S. and R.S.M. made e x c e l l e n t s t a r t s but G u i l d s appeared s l i g h t l y r u s h e d , but even so rowed s t r o k e f o r s t r o k e w i t h R.C.S. and completed the f i r s t 10 i n j u s t under the q u a r t e r a phenomenal r a t i n g f o r heavy c l i n k e r s . R.C.S. had t h e i r nose i n f r o n t from t h e second s t r o k e and proceeded t o ta k e i t away w e l l , b l a d e s b e i n g r e a l l y s o l i d i n the w a t e r . As t h e crews approached H a r r o d s , R.S.M. began t o decrease the i n c h e s l e a d of the R.C.S., -and a t the lower end of Harrods wharf were about 2 f e e t up on t h e R.C.S., with. G u i l d s a f u r t h e r 2 f e e t b e h i n d . Mines, on the i n s i d e of the bend, were a ] i t t l e wide and a s l i g h t c l a s h o c c u r r e d between R.C.S. and G u i l d s , which t h e y were able to c l e a r w i t h o u t d i f f i c u l t y . A l l t h r e e crews were rowing w e l l , p a r t i c u l a r l y the M i n e s , who w i t h r e a l heavyweights i n the m i d d l e of the boat were making b e s t use of them by r o w i n g at a s l i g h t l y s l o w e r r a t e of s t r i k i n g . As the crews approached the C r a b t r e e , Mines were l e a d i n , by i: l e n g t h from t h e R.G.S., who were s l i g h t l y up on G u i l d s . A l l t h r e e crews were v e r y c l o s e t o g e t h e r , and, i n t r y i n g t o a v o i d a

c l a s h w i t h Mines, R.C.S. c l a s h e d w i t h G u i l d s . The umpire stopped the r a c e and sent the crews back to the s t a r t .

Y o u r c o r r e s p o n d e n t has been i n f o r m e d by members o f a l l t h r e e crews t h a t i t was t h e i r crew w h i c h was g o i n g up at the t i m e . W i t h over a m i l e t o go i t was s t i l l anyone's r a c e .

The second s t a r t was G u i l d s a l l the way. They made a p e r f e c t s t a r t and were n e a r l y •§- a l e n g t h up at Harrods when Mines, t a k i n g the bend, t o o w i d e , c l a s h e d w i t h R.C.S., and t h e r a c e was stopped f o r the second, t i m e . The o n l y c o n s o l i n g thought f o r t h e crews was how the v a s t body of p o l i c e at Putney must have been e n j o y i n g t h e m s e l v e s .

At the t h i r d s t a r t Mines j u s t got t h e i r nose i n f r o n t , but the y c o u l d do no more, and a m a g n i f i c e n t r a c e ensued w i t h l e s s t h a n 4 f e e t s e p a r a t i n g f i r s t and l a s t crews, and no more t h a n 2 f e e t between b l a d e t i p s . At the Chabtree Mines were j u s t l e a d i n g G u i l d s , who were o n l y j u s t l e a d i n g R.C.S. At the m i l e post G u i l d s were up by a canvas w i t h Mines n e a r l y a canvas up on R.C.S. Ap p r o a c h i n g Fulham f o o t b a l l ground, G u i l d s were f l e n g t h up on Mines, v/hc were a canvas up on R.C.S. The G u i l d s cox, on the i n s i d e of t h i s bend, began t o take i t on a l o n g t u r n , and the R.C.S. f o l l o w e d him rou n d . The Mines cox appeared t o t h i n k t h a t the o t h e r two were making a s h o r t t u r n , came round too f a r and too f a s t , and h i t R.C.S.

The umpire stoppe d the r a c e and r e s t a r t e d them i n the r e l a t i v e p o s i t i o n s b e f o r e the c l a s h . The r o w - i n past t h e boat houses was no r e f l e c t i o n of the r a c i n g t h a t had gone b e f o r e , and i t was d e c i d e d t h a t the r e s u l t t o be r e c o r d e d s h o u l d be t h a t at the time of the l a s t c l a s h . G u i l d s , £ l e n g t h , Mines, a canvas, R.C.S.

The time t a k e n 'was 1 hour 20 m i n u t e s , a r e c o r d f o r t h i s 7-| minute c o u r s e . Crews. C & G. Bow T . G i l b e r t , 2 S . P e e r l e s s , 3 J.C.Howe, 4 J.Shaw,

5 L . C l a r e , 6 A.Dawe, 7 P . G . A l l i s t o n , S t r . P . A r n o l d , Cox L . N o r t h .

R.S.M. Bow C.Barwise, 2 W.Brendum, 3 J.Gordon-Smith, 4 A . F l e t c h e r 5 L . A . H i l l , 6 J . T a y l o r , 7 L.Webb, Str.J.McKay,Cox A . F a b l e .

R.C.S. Bow D.Ives, 2 R.Hughes, 3 J.Lamerton,4 D . L o w e l l , 5 R.Smith, 6 D.Coomber, 7 H.Pushman, S t r . F . M o r i a r t y , Cox C . B r a c e w e l l .

LOWRY CUP. The r a c e f o r the Lowry Cup wh i c h f o l l o w e d , i n g a t h e r i n g

d a r k n e s s , was a l e s s o n i n c o x i n g . S t a r t i n g f r om the m i l e p o s t , a l l t h r e e coxes showed how i t s h o u l d be done. The G u i l d s crew, an e x c e l l e n t one, made no m i s t a k e and. showed t h a t the way i t had h a r r i e d i t s f i r s t boat i n t r a i n i n g had made i t u n b e a t a b l e . They went ahead t o w i n e a s i l y , l e a v i n g a most e x c i t i n g r a c e f o r second p l a c e between R.C.S and Mines, i n which b o t h crews l e a d s e v e r a l times by a f o o t or two o n l y t o be p u l l e d back by sheer f i g h t i n g s p i r i t . The r e s u l t , j u s t l y s o, was a dead heat f o r second p l a c e . Crews. C & G Bow R . C l a r k , 2 A . W a t e r f a l l , 3 P . M o f f a t , 4 B . D a v i s ,

5 W.Bergwerk, 6 P.Sharpe, 7 C.Baines, S t r . P.Watson, Cox J . L e w i s .

R.C.S. Bow B . B a l d w i n , 2 R.Measures, 3 J . M i d g e l e y , 4 G.Benson, 5 A . D a v i e s , 6 J . B r a y , 7 T.Embleton, S t r . H . M e t c a l f e , Cox J.Holmes.

R.S .M. Bow M.O'Connor, 2 J . H a r b o r d , 3 W.Stevens, 4 M.Holt, 5 R.Penny, 6 K.C h a n d l e r , 7 H . M o r r i s , S t r . T.Hulme, Cox B . H e s t e r .

THE BOAT CLUB DINNER.

Your r e p o r t e r a p o l o g i s e s f o r any o m i s s i o n s and m i s s t a t e m e n t s he may make, and wishes the f a c t t h a t . h e had had s e v e r a l i n t h e boat house, s e v e r a l more i n the S t a r and G a r t e r , and a few f o r good measure i n the I.C. bar b e f o r e the d i n n e r s t a r t e d , t o be t a k e n i n t o c o n s i d e r a t i o n .

H i s r a t h e r w h i s s h l e d c o n d i s h o n a s s i s t e d i n h i s enjoyment of a - h i e - v e r y e n j o y a b l e e v e n i n g , but d i d not h e l p him t o w r i t e v e r y i n t e l l i g i b l e h i e r o - h i c - g l y p h . - h . i c s on the back of h i s t i c k e t t o the R e s i d e n t ' s D i n n e r - he had f o r g o t t e n h i s notebook.

Having no s t a t i s t i c s at h i s d i s p o s a l , he can o n l y h a z a r d a q u i e t guess t h a t t h i s y e a r s d i n n e r , l i k e the Morphy i t s e l f , was one of the l o n g e s t on r e c o r d , i f i t d i d not a c t u a l l y c r e a t e a new h i g h . I t was., however, a v e r y happy f u n c t i o n , and the f o o d was e x c e l l e n t 1 . . ' •,

The K i n g ' s h e a l t h h a v i n g been drunk, the c l u b c a p t a i n , Len Webb, on b e h a l f of a l l p r e s e n t , c o n g r a t u l a t e d the c h e f , who a c c e p t e d h i s f i r s t o f f e r of a g l a s s of brandy, b u t b a s h f u l l y d e c l i n e d the second - the ear s of the assembly.

The c a p t a i n next asked C o l . Lowry t o present the Morphy and Lowry Cups t o the day's v i c t o r i o u s crews, b o t h f rom the C i t y & G u i l d s , and t o the winn e r s of t h i s y e a r s S e n i o r , J u n i o r and N o v i c e s s c u l l i n g t r e p h i e s , woh by C .H•'.Barwise , fl .Pushraan and R.Br o ok r e s pe e t i v e 1 y .

C h a r l e s B r i s t o w , the f i r s t s p e a k e r , proposed, the h e a l t h of the c l u b , i n a speech w h i c h l a s t e d the s u r p r i s i n g l y s h o r t time of 34 m i n u t e s , f i r s t p r i z e i n the sweep b e i n g won by H.Pushman. I t i s d i f f i c u l t t o make notes on a speech even of t h i s l e n g t h on the back of a t i c k e t t o t h e R e s i d e n t ' s D i n n e r , but your r e p o r t e r i s quoted as s a y i n g t h a t i t was as good as C h a r l e s ' speeches always a r e , and. embraced the aims and h i s t o r y of the c l u b .

In r e p l y , the c a p t a i n must d e f i n i t e l y have s e t up a new record.. He spoke f o r 5 minutes l o n g e r than C h a r l e s I Your r e p o r t e r cannot h e l p but, f e e l t h a t t h i s was not a good p r e c e d e n t , as C h a r l e s i s n o t one who can t a k e a s l i g h t of t h i s n a t u r e l i g h t h e a r t e d l y , and w i l l most c e r t a i n l y t a k e s t e p s t o see t h a t i t cannot be r e p e a t e d . (Next y e a r ' s r e p o r t e r i s a d v i s e d t o buy two t i c k e t s t o the R e s i d e n t ' s D i n n e r ) . '

Len Webb ended by p r e s e n t i n g a p o r t a b l e t y p e w r i t e r t o C h a r l e s , on b e h a l f of the c l u b , i n r e c o g n i t i o n of h i s s e r v i c e s as t r e a s u r e r , which post he was r e l i n q u i s h i n g , B r i a n Thwaites t a k i n g o v e r . Your r e p o r t e r was v e r y hazy by t h i s t i m e .

P e t e r A l i i s t o n next proposed the h e a l t h of Thames Rowing C l u b , and a l s o proposed t h a t the s o r t cut t o T .R.C. bar s h o u l d go down in. p o s t e r i t y as " C h a r l e s ' C u t " , C h a r l e s h a v i n g been the master mind be h i n d the i d e a and d e s i g n .

Mr. K i r k p a t r i c k , T.R.C., r e p l y i n g , s a i d , i n t e r a l i a , he was g l a d the I . C..boathouse was such a f i n e new b u i l d i n g , as i t h e l p e d t o s u p p o r t Thames boathouse.

B r i a n Thwaites proposed the h e a l t h , of the g u e s t s , w h i c h i n c l u d e d the r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s o f s e v e r a l c l u b s - London, Reading U n i v e r s i t y , V e s t a K..C. e t c . , the f i r s t c a p t a i n , C o l . Lowry, P a u l Gumming and Spud H a y t e r .

C o l . Lowry, i n r e p l y , quoted f r e e l y from the c l a s s i c s ; t h e s e q u o t a t i o n s were v e r y amusing, and your r e p o r t e r a p o l o g i s e s f o r o n l y remembering one - " T h i s g h a s t l y crew" from the A n c i e n t Mariner.;- one of whose members he was b e g i n n i n g t o res e m b l e , as he t o t t e r e d I n t o the har f o r a q u i c k o n e f ° r t h e r o a d .

He was l a s t seen, s t e e r i n g a Morphy course past the t e n n i s c o u r t s , m u t t e r i n a " I ' l l t e a c h these cockshwine t o s h t e e r " , and wondering what he'd done w i t h h i s t i c k e t t o the R e s i d e n t ' s D i n n e r -

THE ESCAPADES OF BOANERGES IN THE LONDON -

BRIGHT OK RALLY . I 0VEM3ER 15 t h .

The weather f o r e c a s t on the S a t u r d a y e v e n i n g was not v e r y p r o m i s i n g , c o l d w i t h s c a t t e r e d showers. I t was o n l y t o be hoped t h a t the showers would not s c a t t e r themselves .on. the London-B r i g h t o n r o a d . I t meant an e a r l y s t a r t f o r a l l concerned and the v e r y s l e e p y crew of "Boanerges" r o l l e d , up at the C o l l e g e at 7.15 a.m.

I n the greyness of the morning "Bo" c e r t a i n l y l o o k e d r a t h e r d i s p a s s i o n a t e but a f t e r the a d d i t i o n of a few g a l l o n s of the e s s e n t i a l s the o l d boy seemed a l i t t l e more p e r k y . A t l a s t a f t e r innumerable adjustments had been made t o the too numerous c o n t r o l s Bo a r r i v e d i n f i n e time at the "Magazine" i n Hyde Pa r k , where the n o i s e and smoke seemed t o grow i n volume as d i d the s p i r i t s of the crews of "Bo and the t e n d e r " .

1 h e " G u i l d s " v e t e r a n was s u p e r i o r i n t h a t i t a r r i v e d under i t s own power; f o r most of the v e t e r a n s had. been c a r r i e d - not j u s t towed - on q u i t e massive c o n s t r u c t i o n s w h i c h d e v o t e d l y f o l l o w e d t h e i r c h a r g e s . In the Park i t was d i s c o v e r e d t h a t "Bo" had not enough water t o l a s t the j o u r n e y ; so what c o u l d be b e t t e r t h a n t o f i l l the spare cans from the S e r p e n t i n e . The v e t e r a n s were s t a r t e d i n o r d e r of age at i n t e r v a l s of t h i r t y seconds. "Bo" was number 48 and was soon o f f t o a f i n e s t a r t , w i t h the t e n d e r f o l l o w i n g w a t c h f u l l y .

i'hrcaigh London went the p r o c e s s i o n ; past most of the n o b l e b u i l d i n g s and. almost a l l London was t a k e n i n g a l l a n t s t r i d e ; B r i x t o n H i l l caused a l i t t l e t r o u b l e f o r some v e t e r a n s but not so f o r the mighty "Boanerges" - at l e a s t not a f t e r he r e a l i s e d he would have t o go up, so he stopped banging and smoking and went up i n t r i u m p h , but when he had c o l l e c t e d h i s cheers he f l a g g e d and had t o be r e v i v e d by some S e r p e n t i n e w a t e r .

Perhaps i t was i m a g i n a t i o n but "Bo" seemed t o have more v o c a l s u p o o r t throughout the j o u r n e y than the r e s t of the e n t r a n t s put t o g e t h e r . "Boanerges" had one m i s f o r t u n e , but q u i t e a minor one. The nut came o f f one of the c h a i n j o i n i n g l i n k s , but i t gave the crew time t o stamp t h e i r f e e t , and. someone e x p e r i e n c e i n the use of a hammer.

I t seems t h a t the " G u i l d s " i s not v e r y w i l l i n g f o r a t r u c e w i t h t h e "Gentlemen" I n b l u e , f o r they f l a u n t e d an a c q u i r e d t a x i - h o r n at e v e r y a f o r e m e n t i o n e d "Gentleman" they e n c o u n t e r e d as w e l l as g o i n g a l i t t l e t o o c l o s e f o r c o m f o r t . T h i s was perhaps u n f o r t u n a t e as the P o l i c e on t h a t Sunday were r e a l l y c o - o p e r a t i v e , a l l o w i n g s t a g g e r i n g v e t e r a n s t o r a t t l e a c r o s s a g a i n s t the l i g h t s . I t was t r u e t h a t manners were not l a c k i n g i n the crew of "Boanerges" however, f o r a l l g e s t u r e s whether from o n - l o o k e r s or P o l i c e were acknowledged i f o n l y by the t a x i - h o r n . A f t e r a w h i l e i t was r e a l i s e d , t h a t "Bo" was s p e e d i n g , t h i s b e i n g p r o h i b i t e d by t h e r u l e s of the R.A.C. f o r t h i s r u n and at one p o i n t "Bo" was a c t u a l l y t o be seen d o i n g 40 rn.p.h. ( a l t h o u g h I t was d o w n h i l l ) .

"Bo" e v e n t u a l l y a r r i v e d i n M a d e r i a D r i v e w i t h much c h e e r i n g and waving w h i l s t steam i s s u e d f rom the v a r i o u s p i p e s of o t h e r v e t e r a n s .

a f t e r l u n c h "Bo" was moved t o the p a v i l i o n where the Mayor's t e a was t o be h e l d . I t was here t h a t f u r t h e r p r e p a r a t i o n s were c a r r i e d out f o r the r e t u r n j o u r n e y . T h i s t e a was the h i g h spot of the day and perhaps i t was not s t r i c t l y t r u e t o s ay t h a t a l l "Bo's" crew and f o l l o w e r s were i n v i t e d , but a l l a t t e n d e d i n t h e t r u e I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e f a s h i o n .

D u r i n g the t e a ~ i t was l e a r n t t h a t "Bo" had been d i s q u a l i f i e d f o r i n d u l e r i n a i n e x c e s s i v e speed. The day was d r a w i n g i n t o e v e n i n g and the r e t u r n j o u r n e y had t o be f a c e d , i'hi s was q u i t e u n e v e n t f u l except t h a t "Bo" was v e r y r e l u c t a n t t o f o r e g o f u r t h e r r e f r e s h m e n t s , as were the crew.

The t a x i - h o r n was u s e d t o f u l l advantage w h i l s t the crowds i n " P i c c a d i l l y " were g i v e n a. f i n e e x h i b i t i o n of c i r c u l a r m o t o r i n g w i t h Mr. C a r r u t h e r s i n the c h a i r . F i n a l l y the c o m m i s s i o n a i r e at the D o r c h e s t e r was a l l o w e d t o use h i s v o i c e i n order t o s t o p 'Bo" e n t e r i n g , so "Bo" r e l u c t a n t l y r e t u r n e d t o c o l l e g e , d e c i d e d l y hot under the bonnet.

C i t y unci g u i l d s U n i o n .

though h a r d l y a' term o l d , t h i s s e s s i o n has a l r e a d y made secur e i t s p l a c e i n p o s t e r i t y . The U n i o n has been f o r t u n a t e i n a c q u i r i n g amongst i t s new members e n t h u s i a s t s i n a l l spheres of Club a c t i v i t i e s , w i t h the p l e a s a n t r e s u l t t h a t , as the Arab s a i d d u r i n g d i n n e r , the p r e s s i n g problem i s e x p a n s i o n .

i'he B-ugger ^ l u b how has a membership of about 80 and i s r u n n i n g t h r e e teams, the 1 s t and A teams h a v i n g been d e f e a t e d o n l y once each. The Hockey ^lub i s 37 s t r o n g and p r o v i d e s most of the I.C. 1st X I . The S o c c e r Club has made a f l y i n g s t a r t i n what l o o k s l i k e b e i n g a most s u c c e s s f u l season, b e a t i n g the Mines 12-2 i n the f i r s t round of the Technology Cup, and p r o v i d i n g 8 of the 1.0. 1st X I .

The R i f l e ^ l u b ' are h a p p i l y s h o o t i n g away i n the m y s t e r i o u s back l a b y r i n t h s , of the G-uilds u n d e r w o r l d , and the R a d i o , C h e m i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g and E n g i n e e r i n g S o c i e t i e s a l l ve f u l l and w e l l s u p p o r t e d programmes, *he A t h l e t i c s u l u b and the newly formed T e n n i s Club are r e s e r v i n g t h e i r e n e r g i e s f o r l a t e r in. the s e s s i o n .

A new f i e l d of c o m p e t i t i v e I n d u s t r y i s b e i n g opened by the i n s t i t u t i o n o f an i n t e r - c o l l e g e D a r t s Trophy, which i t i s hoped w i l l be s u c c e s s f u l l y d a r t e d f o r by those members p o s s e s s i n g t h e advantage o f a mis-spent y o u t h .

'i'he h i g h l y s u c c e s s f u l a c t i v i t i e s of the Motor Club and the Boat Club are r e p o r t e d e l s e w h e r e , however, i t i s f e l t t h a t G u i l d s s u p p o r t e r s on Morphy Day showed a r e p r e h e n s i b l e l a c k of C o l l e g e s p i r i t In f a i l i n g t o c a r r y i n t h e i r V i c t o r i o u s crew from the s t o o l s .

A s a c o n c l u s i o n t o the term the C a r n i v a l w i l l , I t i s hoped, prove the most s u c c e s s f u l y e t .

- : : , . . . G.CARR;..' , ' .. . Hon. Sec. C & G U n i o n .

R.C.S .Union.

he s e s s i o n s t a r t e d v e r y w e l l w i t h t h i s Union r u n n i n g a v e r y s u c c e s s f u l f r e s h e r ' s b u f f e t q u i t e e a r l y i n the term. I t was n o t i c e d t h a t the f r e s h e r s seemed much more l i v e l y than u s u a l and t h i s l i v e l i n e s s has, so f a r , shown no s i g n s of w e a r i n g o f f .

The v a r i o u s A t h l e t i c c l u b s are b e i n g s u p p o r t e d a l i t t l e b e t t e r than u s u a l and hopes are h i g h of I n t e r - C o l l e g e success i n sev'erpi f i e l d s of s p o r t .

T h i s y e a r t h e r e i s going t o be an I n t e r - c o l l e g e D a r t s Match, f o r w h i c h a t r o p h y has been purchased, and those p l a y e r s of h i g h s t a n d a r d are asked t o c o n t a c t any Union o f f i c i a l as soon as p o s s i b l e .

C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s are extended to t h o s e members of the Union who were p r e s e n t a t Morphy "Day. When the nowry crews came t o the s t o o l s a f t e r t h e i r r a c e 95% of the s p e c t a t o r s who had remained were R.C.S. men. W e l l done I tiiij. .- .Let us see as; many of you as can make i t p r e s e n t at the o t h e r I n t e r - c o l l e g e Cup F i n a l s , ( E n g i n e e r s Cup, t e c h n o l o g y Cup, S p o r t s Day, iug-o'-w'i.r, e t c . )

D.C00MBER. Pr e s i d e n t , R . C . S . U n i on .

R.S.M. U n i o n .

i'he f r e s h e r s have be on welcomed and the o l d guard are now back f r o m f u r r i n p a r t s t o snow them how t o r e p e a t our former t r i u m p h s .

One r e c o r d broken a l r e a d y i s t h e beer consumption f o r the F r e s h e r ' s D i n n e r - one hundred, and f i f t y Minesmon and ^ t a f f may f e e l j u s t l y proUd of the achievement. S p e c i a l p r a i s e t o W.S.Robinson on w i n n i n g a v e r y c l e a n F r e s h e r ' s Y a r d - and to the p o t e n t i a l muckers who d e p o s i t e d a most s u i t a b l e r e c e p t a c l e on the s t e p s of the R .0 .M.

£6 u.<;us 1 t h e r e i s ample support f o r the I l u g a s r Club w i t h more t h a n enough p l a y e r s t o f i l l the t h r e e teams. S o c c e r and Hockey are a l s o t h r i v i n g ana our Squash p i e ye rs once a g a i n t o p the C o l l e g e l a d d e r .

I t was not a M i n e r ' s Morphy t h i s y e a r hut the h a r d h a t t e d s t a l w a r t s on the bahic had the r i g h t s p i r i t and showed t h a t they at l e a s t had not f o r g o t t e n the t r a d i t i o n a l c h a i r i n g of t h e i r crew t o the heat house* At l e a s t one miner showed h i s d i s a p p r o v a l of the F e l i c e ban w i t h a v e r y neat b i t of b l a s t i n g .

The s u c c e s s of the Mine's Lance c o u l d be judged from, the g e n e r a l r e s o l v e , at the l a s t g e n e r a l m e e t i n g , t o have the L i t t l e B l a c k Man announce a n e t h e r get t o g e t h e r i n the near f u t u r e -perhaps t h i s time more of the S t a f f w i l l be a b l e t o a t t e n d .

For t h o s e who can read Chaucer, po'sters have a l r e a d y announced the Mine's C a r n i v a l i n March - remember t h e r e ' s a double t i c k e t " f o r f r e e " f o r the w i n n i n g theme.

S i c T r a n s i t Spicier B r a n d i s h I E.S.M.Union.

The Mines Dance.

On Wednesday, November 2 3 r d , many p a s t and p r e s e n t members of the R o y a l S c h o o l of Mines and t h e i r p a r t n e r s were I n v o l v e d i n a l a r g e s c a l e Judo (o r Y o g i ) p r a c t i c e i n the Gym. T h i s n o t a b l e t u r n o u t of over 170 people d i s t i n g u i s h e d themselves even more by c o n t i n u i n g from 8.30 p.m. u n t i l 12.0 m i d n i g h t w i t h o u t f a i l i n g a l l t h i s w i t h o u t a J u d l (or Yog.o) mat!

Mr. P e t e r Hayward was presented, w i t h a washing machine which, he l a t e r c o n v e r t e d i n t o h a r d cash - as opposed to paper money.

Mr. Jimmy Booth - a f t e r some South American Jogo (or Y u d i ) was heard t o remark, 'Yes, i t shook me t o o l '

B u f f e t and. p r i z e s went o f f and down smoothly and many graduate-) from, green t o y e l l o w t o r e d yoc l i (or Jugo) b e l t s d u r i n g the e v e n i n g .

'ihus ended the R.S.M. Dance f o r 1949 - next y e a r Yugo -or J o d i .

I.G.W.A. Dance.

U n f o r t u n a t e l y everyone thought t h e same a t the I.C.W.A. dance wh i c h was h e l d on November 1 8 t h . They saw t h a t the dance began at 0.30,__and. so d e c i d e d t o a r r i v e at 9 . 3 0 i s h , when i t had got g o i n g " - i'hey f a i l e d t o r e a l i s e t h a t no dance - however w e l l

o r g a n i s e d - can b e g i n t o show any l i f e u n t i l a t l e a s t h a l f the peo p l e are t h e r e * As a r e s u l t , t he one c r i t i c i s m was t h a t I t was slow t o s t a r t , and. t h a t at 12 p.m. everyone c o u l d have h a p p i l y c o n t i n u e d f o r another hour or two. Perhaps I'm p r e j u d i c e d - but I h a r d l y t h i n k t h a t I.C.W.A. s h o u l d be blamed f o r t h i s . E v e r y t h i n g e l s e was up t o the u s u a l h i g h s t a n d a r d , with, the gym a t t r a c t i v e l y d e c o r a t e d w i t h t r a v e l p o s t e r s and f l o w e r s . Even the b a l l o o n s came down from the c e i l i n g at the a p p o i n t e d time - though I b e l i e v e t h a t I.O.Yj.a.. co-opted a few f r i e n d s -who. k i n d l y t o o k • charge of t h i s . Most of the ev e n i n g was o c c u p i e d w i t h s t r a i g h t d a n c i n g , but a few n o v e l t y numbers wore i n t r o d u c e d ; a h a t excuse-me dance b e i n g one of the most s u c c e s s f u l . happy i d e a was t o ask Mr. Sandy H i l l t o be M.C. f o r an e l i m i n a t i o n dance, by means of which he chose h i s " I d e a l G i r l " - He s u r p a s s e d h i m s e l f . P i t y i t stopped at 12 o ' c l o c k .

M.J.MAYER.

L e t t e r s t.& tfe« Iff i t o r .

S i r , I n view of the ever i n c r e a s i n g p o l s a i a r i t y of S a t u r d a y n i g h t

"hops", and the i m p o s s i b l y overcrowded c o n d i t i o n s which ere r e s u l t i n g , I f e e l we s h o u l d t o l e r a t e no l o n g e r those men from o u t s i d e the c o l l e g e who se"m t o r e g a r d our Union as a P a l a i s de Lanse. O f f i c i a l s of the Union s h o u l d ensure t h a t a r e s p o n s i b l e p erson i s s t a t i o n e d at each door of the U n i o n , not the dance f l o o r , who s h a l l ask f o r the Union c a r d of everyone who i s not p e r s o n a l l y known t o him, and me b e r s of the C o l l e g e s h o u l d e v i c t w i t h the utmost v i g o u r and. l o s s of a p p a r e l any u n i n v i t e d , guest who does succeed in. e n t e r i n g .

Yours e t c . W a l l f l o w e r .

S i r I t appears t h a t there i s a s t r a n g e r a c e i n our m i d s t , •'•his

body of men a p p a r e n t l y f i n d i t n e c e s s a r y t o o p e r a t e pneumatic d r i l l s b e h i n d the A l b e r t H a l l , whose n e i g h b o u r i n g b u i l d i n g s do n o t h i n g t o m u f f l e the s h a t t e r i n g n o i s e , at the ungodly hour of 7.30 a.m. when a l l r i g h t minded people are abed, '""hen the d i s t u r b e d , s l e e p e r s are e v e n t u a l l y f o r c e d out of t h e i r beds by thoughts of b r e a k f a s t or the 10 o ' c l o c k l e c t u r e , a s t r a n g e s i l e n c e envelops the H o s t e l p r e c i n c t s and the d r i l l s are s t i l l e d .

T h i s | S i r , i s beyond my comprehension. Can i t be t h e y b e a r us some m a l i c e ? .

Yours e t c . D. C .Howe .

Dear ^ i r , •' I n a m i l d s o r t _ f way I would l i k e t o r e g i s t e r a b i t t e r

p r o t e s t about the Union b e e r . Perhaps one of cur own tame e n t o m o l o g i s t s c o u l d recommend

t o our so c a l l e d Brewers a more v i r i l e type of Gnat.

I l e e r a t e d .

Dear S i r , The p u b l i c a t i o n of F e l i x p r o v i d e s a l o n g overdue o p p o r t u n i t y

f o r Union members t o e x p r e s s t h e i r views on many day t o day items w h i c h would not n o r m a l l y f i n d , t h e i r way i n t o Union M e e t i n g s , and even f o r t h i s alone i t promises t o be a most v a l u a b l e organ.

•"mong many minor i r r i t a t i o n s a case on w h i c h I f e e l s t r o n g l y i s the p r i c e of sandwiches i n , t h e flew Lounge. That cakes s h o u l d c o s t 3d i s perhaps e x c u s a b l e . F o r those who d e s i r e d a l e s s e x t r a v a g a n t t e a t h e r e were at -one time many sandwiches at 2d and e x c e l l e n t jam sandwiches at l-§d. Wow the sandwiches are as dear as the cakes and to. Choose a "cheap" t e a : i s to. f a c e s t a r v a t i o n .

I n any c a s e , S i r , can a charge of threepence r e a l l y be j u s t i f i e d f o r two t h i n h a l f s l i c e s of bread Lwlth a t h i n smear or e r s a t z compound between them?

Yours e t c . 3 .CM.Taylor .

T h i s y e a r s Dramatic °ociety p l a y w i l l no doubt a f f o r d an e x c e l l e n t o p p o r t u n i t y f o r the s o l u t i o n of the,age o l d c o n t r o v e r s y 'Bacon or °hakospear'. A q u l c k y check up i n t h e i r r e s p e c t i v e graves a f t e r the performance s h o u l d c l i n c h the m a t t e r .

rumour reaches us t h a t Spud H a y t e r may t h i s y e a r be awarded the c o v e t e d h a l f c o l o u r s by the Women's N e t b a l l Team.

LToP.V OP PQS' .0 .1- } EVENTS.

F r i o i i y _jft-h Doeember .

1.20 ^ e n c i n g ^litfcb M e e t i n g , 6.1b • C o n s e r v a t i v e Group Meeting,Cttee.Rm."A" 5.1b I . C .1) . A t h l e t i c Clubs Committee, C t t e e .Rm MB" 7.00 I.C.D.S. p r o d u c t i o n . ' • 7.00-10.15 ^hem.Eng.Soc.Dinner, Upp. D i n i n g H a l l .

S a t u r d a y 10th December.

7 .00 I.C.D.S. p r o d u c t i o n .

°unday 11th December.

7.30 *'ilm b o c i e t y , " M e t r o p o l i s " , M i n i n g T h e a t r e .

Monday 12th December.

1.16 M u s i c a l b o c i e t y R e c i t a 1,Cttee.Rm. "B" 6.00-10.00 R.C.S. Na t . H i s t . Soc . S o c i a l . 5.15 F i l m S o c i e t y , M i n i n g T h e a t r e .

Tuesday 15th December

W e d n e s d ay 141 h. D e c e mb e r ..

5.15 Dramatic S o c i e t y G e n e r a l M e e t i n g , C-tee .Rm ."A"

Thursday 15 th. Dec ember

5.00 I .C.U . C o u n c i l M e e t i n g , C t t e e .Rm. "A"-6.00-11.00 C h e m i s t r y Dep't. P a r t y .

End - of - Term

•E'riday 16th December

C i t y and G u i l d s C o l l e g e C h r i s t m a s C a r n i v a l

" The I n f e r n o "

I t i s customary t o blame c a t s f o r many a n t i c s on the r o o f t o p s and t i l e s , but'we beg t o r e p o r t t h a t F e l i x was not the " j a p e r " r e s p o n s i b l e f o r the u t i l i t a r i a n adornment on the Q.A.Dovecot on Morphy n i g h t .

H i s reported, from a t h o r o u g h l y u n r e l i a b l e source t h a t the Astronomer R o y a l has been asked t o be timekeeper i n next y e a r ' s Mor ohy.

A p i l e of A.Sc.W. l i t e r a t u r e was r e c e n t l y f o u n d i n the R.C.S. 1 a v a t o r y . No comment. Overheard-at Mines Dance: I.C.W.A's I d e a l G i r l d e c l a r e s "Mine's a M i n o r " . I.C.W.A's a t t r a c t i v e P r e s i d e n t ( p e r s o n a l o p i n i o n ) has we h e a r d e v e l o p e d q u i t e a t e n d e r spot f o r the R i d i n g C l u b .

I t was n o t i c e d t h a t C u r l y Prigmore the New H o s t e l N o i s e s u p r e s s o r was a t r i f l e jumpy in. t h e c u r r e n t Dram. Soc. p r o d u c t i o n - amps i n h i s pant s ?

SPORTS

W.lfch t h i s f i r s t i s s u e of " F e l i x " i t r e a d e r s the p r e s e n t p o s i t i o n of the C o l l by g i v i n g a summary of the r e s u l t s of t h games p l a y e d throughout the Michaelmas t numbers i t i s i n t e n d e d t o d e t a i l the pre a c t i v i t i e s i n the v/hole range of c o l l e g e r e s i d e n t s w i l l note w i t h r e l i e f t h a t the h i m s e l f a h o s t e l - d w e l l e r 1

Both the I.C.Hockey Club and the I matches i n t h e i r r e s p e c t i v e London Unive the l a s t week, b o t h b e i n g v i c t o r i o u s f r c By the time t h i s has reached, i t s p u b l i c have a l s o p l a y e d i t s Second Round t i e , v. s a t i s f y i n g r e s u l t s .

has been d e c i d e d t o show eges i n the s n o r t s f i e l d e t h r e e p r i n c i p a l w i n t e r erm. I n subsequent Anions f o r t n i g h t s s p o r t - h o s t e l S p o r t s E d i t o r I s not

.C.Soccer Club have p l a y e d r s i t y c o m p e t i t i o n s w i t h i n m the I.C. v i e w - p o i n t . the L.C.Rugby Club- w i l l i t h , i t Is hoped, e q u a l l y

R e s u l t s ;

RUGBY FOOTBALL P o i n t s P l a y e d W on Drawn L o s t For A g a i n s t

I . C . 1st XV I.C.'1st A XV. • I.C.2nd A XV I.C.. 1st Ext.A.XV I.C .2nd Ext.A.XV

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R.C.S. XV 4 2 0 o 39 54

R.S.M, XV 7 4 0 3 37 64

HOCKEY.

I . C . 1 s t X I I.C.2nd X I I . C . 3 r d X I

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SOCCER.

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Club o f f i c i a l s are i n v i t e d t o c o n t a c t the S n o r t s E d i t o r of " F e l i x " i f they w i s h t o ta k e advantage of the p u b l i c i t y a f f o r d e d i n t h e s e pages.

U n i v e r s i t y Hockey Cup (2nd Round) November 3 0 t h : i m p e r i a l " C o l l e g e 2 v B a t t e r s e a P o l y t e c h n i c 0.

Having d e f e a t e d C h e l s e a P o l y t e c h n i c i n the f i r s t round hy the s u b s t a n t i a l m a r g i n of 7-0,I.C. were f a i r l y c o n f i d e n t of t h e i r a b i l i t y t o w i n a g a i n s t B a t t e r s e a . Had they known the det e r m i n e d q u a l i t i e s of the o p p o s i t i o n , b e f o r e h a n d , t h e i r e q u i n i m i t y would, have been r a t h e r d i s t u r b e d . The whole game was w e l l - f o u g h t w i t h f i n a l l y the r a t h e r b e t t e r hockey of an. I.C.team w e l l below form ove r ­coming the d r i v e of t h e i r r i v a l s keenness. The f i n a l s c o r e was a t r u e r e c o r d of the p l a y a l t h o u g h perhaps C h e l s e a were u n l u c k y w i t h two shots w h i c h h i t the p o s t s . The f i r s t g o a l by I.C. was the r e s u l t of a p e n a l t y b u l l y f o l l o w i n g an i n f r i n g e m e n t by the C h e l s e a 'goalkeeper; G i l l e t t made no m i s t a k e and the b a l l was I n the net i n seconds. The second g o a l was s c o r e d by Howe weith a shot t h a t gave the g o a l k e e p e r no chance.

The h i g h l i g h t of the match was the m a g n i f i c e n t hockey p l a y e d by G i l l e t t ; i n a t t a c k ; or defence he was always master of eve r y s i t u a t i o n . To him,mainly,1.0.owed t h e i r v i c t o r y .

U n i v e r s i t y Soccer Cup (2nd hound) December 3 r d ~ I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e 4 v Wes t m i n s t e r T r a i n i n g C o l l e g e 3.

A s t r o n g wind following a l o n g the p i t c h , imposed l i m i t a t i o n s upon the f o o t b a l l , b u t i n no way was t h i s match marred by'the " c u t ­t h r o a t " a t t i t u d e so c h a r a c t e r i s t i c of many c u p - t i e s . W i t h i n a few minutes of the s t a r t W e s t m i n s t e r s c o r e d t w i c e , a l e a d w h i c h they . h e l d u n t i l tfa-g i n t e r v a l . W i t h the r e s u m p t i o n however, I m p e r i a l had the wind i n t h e i r f a v o u r whereupon they s c o r e d f o u r times w i t h o u t f u r t h e r reply*.'. Undaunted,Westminster c o n t i n u e d p l a y i n g v/ith v e r y commendable s p i r i t and i n the c l o s i n g seconds i n c r e a s e d t h e i r '• t a l l y t o t h r e e .

3omewhat Wet Ode t o F e l i x .

S a y , l o o k what Santa's brought w i t h the whisky and the p o r t To f i l l once more a " l i t e r a r y " gap: I t ' s a s o r t of h a l f p i n t Phoenix, but i s known as j u s t p l a i n

I F e l i x , And' a l l you need, t o do I s t u r n the t a p ,

Out comes m i l d and b i t t e r That w i l l s u r e l y r a i s e a t i t t e r Or even p'haps a p o s t c a r d from a f a r ; L e t ' s hope t h e A l b e r t H a l l to$11 stand up t h r o u g h i t a l l When the E d i t o r s make whoopee i n the b a r .

&o I ' l l l a y my p i n t a p a r t ; take up my pen and. s t a r t J u s t a l i t t l e welcome word t o w i s h i t w e l l ; L e t ' s hope t h i s newborn c a t w i l l way b o t h l a r g e and f a t f*nd i n no u n c e r t a i n f a s h i o n " r i n g the b e l l " .

And i n the coming y e a r When the c a t i s i n h i g h gear And the E d i t o r s make whoopee i n the b a r ; My f i n a l hope i s t h i s T h e y ' l l remember my kind, w i s h And o b l i g e by f i l l i n g up my empty j a r .

Derek N o r r i s .