COACHING TOOLS - life-coach-tools. Web [email protected]. Kind regards. Harley M Storey. CEO, ... Table Of Contents. Another win!4. What word is you?5. Instant relaxation!6

Harley M Storey “The Life Coach Toolman!”

Dear Subscriber

Here are 20 Bonus Tools that form part of the 101 Tools Life Coaches Use® Bonus Pack.

The Table of Contents contains active links – meaning you can go straight to the tool by clicking its name.

I hope you will find them interesting, challenging and fun!

If you have any feedback, comments or suggestions, I'd love to hear them, please email me at [email protected]

Kind regards

Harley M StoreyCEO, Managing DirectorParadigms Life Coaching Limited

101 Tools Life Coaches Use® Bonus Pack available from www.life-coach-tools.com

© Paradigms Life Coaching Limited. All International Rights Reserved.

http://www.life-coach-tools.com/buy_life_coaching_tools.html



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Table Of Contents

Another win! 4

What word is you? 5

Instant relaxation! 6

$ave on Coaching & Therapy 7

ReLabel Yourself (Give Your Angel Some Ammo!) 8

Emotional Empowerment 9

W.D.2.S!10

Your Issue & Your Treasure 11

Positive Pain 12

Patience with Children 13

Beliefs about Self & Life 14

Reconciliation Tool 15

Do a C.B.A! 16

Making sacred space – Part I 17

Finding sacred space – Part II 17

Discovering sacred space – Part III 17

the “What I've Got” tool 18

How was your day? (Tool for men) 19

Get what You want … How to talk to Your Man 20

Decisions Tool 21






Another win!

To help clients feel they are ‘winning’ and life is going better than they may realize.

Every time something goes well for you – a green light, a good piece of luck, something going ‘right’ … smile and shout to yourself out loud (even better if people are listening) “Another win!”

Even better write them down and when you feel life is not going your way, read them over!






What word is you?

Choose a word you likethen write about it.






Instant relaxation!

The next time you start to feel stressed or uptight, try getting away by yourself for a few minutes …

Take just 3 really deep breaths (like you are smelling a great scent) from your stomach.

See how much more calm you feel afterwards and repeat as often as you like!






Save on Coaching & Therapy

The upshot of much coaching and therapy is learning to accept your feelings.

So remember this …

What you feel is always OK.

Do this and half of your problem is resolved!






ReLabel Yourself (Give Your Angel Some Ammo!)

Think how you can relabel yourself so when the devil on your shoulder whispers ………………you can respond with the message from your Angel saying ………………

from "maybe not good enough" to Fabulous!

from "maybe dumb" to _______________

from "a bit derrr" to _______________________






Emotional Empowerment

in order for you to get to where you want to be you need 2 factors:

1. a mental game – which you are naturally competent at and familiar with 2. an emotional fluency and confidence – to free up your feelings and empower you.

The mental game could be compared to a baseball bat and emotional power we are talking about could be compared to a fit strong baseball player.

Even with the best bat in the world if the batsmen is not fit and strong they won't be able to hit very well, but when you emotionally empower yourself it is like being a superhero and being able to hit a home run out of the park whenever you like!






W.D.2.S!

W.D.2.D = Worry Disproportionate 2 Situation.

To perform a WD2D analysis, just ask yourself 1 question …“Does it really matter?”






Your Issue & Your Treasure

Do you constantly find yourself coming up against the same problem? Like you're going in circles? Feel like you've done lots of work on 'You' but you haven't really gotten anywhere?

You have come smack bang up against your “issue.” You'll recognize it when you look down at the stuff beside you labeled “baggage!”

Your “issue” may be one of personal or sexual identity, it may be a major loss, a traumatic event, an addiction, or a painful childhood. Your “issue” immediately resonates.

It's your sore point, your soft spot, the hot button that ignorant people unwittingly push!

Good News! Along with an issue you've also got a treasure. But your treasure won't look like a gift ...

How do you find your treasure?

First you've got to take a deep breath and muster the courage to look at your issue. Sit with it. Make friends with it. Buy it a coke!

When you're feeling more comfortable, you can start to relate to each other. You relax and put your feet up. Your issue takes off its heavy coat.

Once you share a few laughs and start to get to know your issue, you find out it's not so bad. In fact kinda friendly. Even cuddly! And it knows all about you.

Rather than being your enemy, perhaps it's really a friend?

When you've spent some time hangin' with each other and start to really connect, your issue shows you something … it's sparkly, precious and beautiful - and it's for you.

It's your treasure.

Yes - your treasure wrapped up in your issue! Very well disguised as the thing you are most likely to reject and deny!

1. Write our your "issue" - the thing that keeps coming up, your hot button, your "Achilles" heel, your sore spot.

2. Think of a positive and useful way to rephrase your "issue" – put a positive spin on it.

3. Label it as your “Treasure.”

4. Write a powerful affirmation that helps you to mentally reframe your issue as your Treasure.

You're not a failure because you don’t feel great all the time …you're a hero because you keep going!






Positive Pain

Think of something that is painful.

Sit with these questions:

Is everything that is painful, always bad?

Could this situation be positive or useful?

How could I use this?

Is this in fact a gift?






http://www.life-coach-tools.com/from-a-friend.html

Patience with Children

1. Awareness is the first key. You cant change anything until you first become aware of doing it.

2. Morning Routine. Put some gas in the tank so that when your buttons are pushed you have some reserves.

3. Timing is everything. Pick your time to communicate what you want to say including lots of positive encouragement.






Beliefs about Self & Life

The two most important beliefs you hold are:

Who am I? What is Life?

eg.

Who am I? - What am I like? What is my personality? What don’t I like? What is Life? – Is the universe a compassionate place? Does life care about me? Why do I suffer? etc






Reconciliation Tool

This is an amazing tool I happened to design the night before a session with a client - and she told me it changed her life.

My clients Mother was a reserved and critical lady and as a result my client never felt supported, loved or validated.

On her death bed, her Mother apologized for not being all that she could have been and although my client was now a grandmother herself, she had carried the burden of her Mothers criticism throughout her life.

This tool had an instant and dramatic effect by helping my client let go of the hurt and pain she had held through the years.

The tools works on the basis that:

the positive things my Mother / Father did for me were about me the negative things were about them

This understanding helps us integrate the positive and negative into balance and see our parents as neither saints nor sinners but just as people, and this awareness helps us to let go, forgive and heal.

Tool:

Draw a circle. Write the positive things that your parents did for you inside and the negative things outside the circle.

The stuff inside the circle is about you the stuff outside is about them and their issues, hangups and problems.



About Mom

Said I was a "mistake"

Never huggedme.

Didn’t tell me thatshe loved me.

AboutMe!

Got mewarm sox when

I had 'flu.Told Dad

she felt proudof me at the spelling bee.

Alwaysshared her

candy with me.




Do a C.B.A!

What's a C.B.A?

C.B.A stands for Cost Benefit Analysis. It is a tool used to establish what the benefits and costs of something are.

It is very simple to do. Just draw up a piece of paper with two columns: one headed BENEFITS

and one headed COSTS.

Now simply record the benefits under the benefits heading, and the costs under costs!

BENEFITS COSTS






Sacred Spaces

Do you feel like your life is running you – rather than the other way around?Do you feel like you need to magically create more time?Well we can’t “create time” but you can “make space!“

These three consecutive exercises help get you or your clients into the habit of making space every day.

Making sacred space – Part I

This is just simply making space for five minutes of mindfulness to start the day

Practice being present with your morning tea or coffee. As thoughts arise, just observe them and let them pass.

Finding sacred space – Part II

To help to become aware of your feelings and what’s “on your plate”

Record your thoughts of the day in an evening journaling or creative writing session.

Discovering sacred space – Part III

Five minutes of awareness.

Practice being present with your breath for five minutes sometime during the day.






the “What I've Got” tool

You may have heard the catchy song by the band Sublime called “What I Got?”

Sometimes people get into a funk where they can’t see the blessings that they have, this tool helps to get them see beyond that.

Exercise:

list all the people, possessions and blessings you have including tangible and intangible try and list all the potentials that exist within you (you can’t!) list all the possibilities for your life

Feel better now?






How was your day? (Tool for men)

In order to reconnect with your partner after your working day …

If your lover asks you “How was your day?” reply with a meaningful episode from your day, then most importantly …

ask how her day was,

listen, empathize and show interest, (without trying to solve any problems or offer solutions!)

watch your relationship flourish!






Get what You want … How to talk to Your Man

This tool continues on from “A Quick Lesson In Speaking Martian” on Page 126 of 101 Tools Life Coaches Use®

Exercise:

1. Pick your time. Not as soon as he walks through the door. He needs time to unwind and relax before you ask him to go back to work talking about his emotions.

2. If in doubt ask him when a good time would be.

3. It may be a good idea to break the routine. Get out of the house, go for a walk, a date or a drive.

4. Tell him that's it's important that you talk about this. (He may not realize this)

5. Let him know you are happy, so he isn't distracted by wanting to fix whatever the problem is.

6. Don’t play the jealousy card – it doesn't work on men, it just makes them think you are playing games or don’t really care.

7. In general, women are natural relaters and men are natural problem solvers. He wants you to be happy and he wants peace. (We know you need a whole lot more!)

8. When discussing emotional issues don’t overwhelm your man with too many questions – his brain is not as in touch with what his heart is feeling as yours!

9. Don’t talk for too long, especially for the first few times. Let him decide when he’s had enough. These discussions rejuvenate you – but can exhaust him.

10. Give him time to think and speak. Most men when asked, have no idea how they feel!

11. Be direct. Men understand this. Don’t communicate with “hints” or expect him to know how you think or feel.

12. Identify your needs clearly beforehand by asking yourself “I need …” and when you talk to him use phrases like “I want …” or “I would like …”

13. Use positive reinforcement - like training a new puppy! You’ve got to reward the behavior you want. Remember your p's & q’s.

14. Don’t assume. Ask. You may be surprised.

15. It is unlikely and probably unhealthy for one person to fulfill all of your emotional needs – remember to cultivate other positive relationships outside of your man.






Decisions Tool

Have trouble making decisions? Do you make a decision … and then change your mind? Are you always “second-guessing” yourself? Do you feel like the stakes are much higher than they actually are? Feel like you are a failure at making decisions - try this Decisions Tool!

Exercise:

Make a list of decisions you have made and stuck to.

How did they work out? What happened?

Calculate approximately how many decisions you make every day.

Is there such a thing as a “wrong” decision?

Are decisions neither “good” nor “bad”, but just decisions you make at the time with the knowledge and awareness you had?

If there is such a thing as a “wrong” decision, what happens if you make one? Do you learn? Does beating yourself up help in any way? Try saying “next time I will…” rather than “if only I had…”

Is making a decision really such a big deal?






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COACHING TOOLS - life-coach-tools. Web [email protected]. Kind regards. Harley M Storey. CEO, ... Table Of Contents. Another win!4. What word is you?5. Instant relaxation!6