Coaching Children To Cope - php.scripts.psu.edu

Clearinghouse for Military Family Readiness at Penn State THRIVE.psu.edu Grow! 2.0 Parent Session 2 - Page 1

This session focuses on helping parents understand the impacts of stress on one’s health and behavior. It aims to teach parents how to manage their own stress and how to control their emotions when interacting with their children, so positive relationships can be nurtured and open communication can be

fostered. In addition, this session seeks to increase parents’ knowledge of how youth experience stress. Stress can be caused by a variety of factors and can result in a myriad of behavioral changes in youth. Parents will learn how to identify the symptoms of stress, listen to children’s feelings, help children express their emotions, and guide children in recognizing and altering negative thinking patterns. Supporting emotional health and teaching coping strategies to young children can help prevent the children from adopting unhealthy coping strategies, such as substance use, as they grow.

The Mission of the Session:

Model Adherence Strategies:

Supplies: Name tags

Flip chart stand, paper, & markers

DVD & player

Pens/pencils

Flip chart page of stick figure with notes from session 1

Facts & Feelings Signs/Poster

Facts & Feelings Scenario Cards

Practical Strategy Cards

Breathe to THRIVE!

Resources to THRIVE! Participant Workbook: Thought Catching Visual

Coping Styles Visual

Taking Care of Emotions Worksheet

Mindful Parenting Worksheet

Coping Strategies For Children

Signs of Trouble in Youth

Session Summary

Homework & Reflection Form

Family Activity

Activities:

Preparing for Delivery

3

Welcome and Review of

Homework

3

Nurturing Your Emotional Health

5

Mindful Parenting 8

Identifying Feelings 12

Sources of Stress 13

Our Parenting Goal 21

Initiating Conversations

23

Influencing Healthy Thinking Patterns

26

Facts and Feelings 30

Coping Strategies 32

Strong Families Seek Support

32

Relaxation Exercises 33

Closing and Homework

34

Showing Support 27

90 Minutes

Main Points to Reinforce: All individuals experience stress. Effective coping strategies involve

identifying the source of discomfort, acknowledging thoughts and emotions, and finding healthy ways to release the tension, like exercise.

Connections to caring adults are a source of support in times of stress.

Participants may recognize their own parenting in the video vignettes. Remember to be patient and supportive. Keep the conversations strength-based.

Be prepared to prompt responses during the discussions. Give clear examples as you introduce the discussion. Prepare extra questions to use to continue the dialogues as needed.

Coaching Children To Cope

SESS ION 2


Through the activities, the participants will fulfill the following LEARNING OBJECTIVES:

Participants will recognize the value of parental self-care.

Participants will be able to practice stress management strategies.

Participants will be able to identify and name feelings experienced by children when under stress.

Participants will be able to name strategies for reducing stress in children.

Participants will be able to show their child love through active listening.

Participants will be able to help their child regulate emotional processes.

Participants will be introduced to the following concepts in the video vignettes and discussions:

Normative and non-normative stress.

The symptoms of stress in adults and youth.

Sources of stress for children (e.g., unrealistic expectations).

The consequences of stress on health and behavior.

The importance of parental self-care and stress management in parenting.

How children frame thoughts and the impact of negative beliefs and interpretations.

The importance of emotional expression.

Showing emotional support through effective communication strategies.

Strong families access community resources in times of stress or family need.

Learning Objectives

CHECK YOUR UNDERSTANDING!

As a facilitator, you have the IMPORTANT job of guiding the participants as they

gain knowledge and learn specific skills. The knowledge, skills, attitudes, and behav-

iors that are targeted by Grow! for change can be evaluated. If learning is accom-

plished, each participant is more likely to utilize the taught information to improve his

or her parenting, strengthen his or her relationship with his or her child, and, ultimate-

ly, help his or her child grow healthy.

To maximize the positive impact of your teaching efforts, you should understand the

purpose and intended impact of the activities you are teaching. Review the learning

objectives for this session below as a guide, so you can effectively encourage skill

comprehension and competency.


Preparing for Delivery

Label the flip chart pages. Post the picture of the stick figure with desired qualities from Session 1. Test the DVD and adjust the volume. Review the materials in the participant workbook that will be highlighted during the session: Taking Care of

Emotions Worksheet, Mindful Parenting Worksheet, Coping Strategies for Children, Signs of Trouble in Youth, Session Summary, Homework and Reflection Form, and Family Activity.

Have the handouts ready: Resources to THRIVE!: Accessing Online Family Supports, Breathe to THRIVE!: Mindful Strategies for You and Your Child, and Practical Strategy Cards.

Review the Coping Styles and Thought Catching visuals in the participant workbook. Have the Facts and Feelings Signs, Poster, and Scenario Cards ready for the role play activity. If possible, arrange the tables or chairs in a U-shape. Prepare supplies and make certain that you have pens or pencils for each participant.

2.1 Welcome and Review of Homework 5.5 Minutes

SAY:

Welcome to the second parent session! Last week, we learned that there are 7 factors that we, as parents,

can nurture to promote positive development and resiliency in our children.1, 2, 3, 4 Do you remember them?

Solicit the following responses: coping, connection, competency, confidence, character, contribution, and

control.

SAY:

Today, we will be talking about coping! We will learn about the impact of stress on behavior and health.

We will identify ways that we can care for our emotional health as parents and we will practice ways you

can nurture coping skills in your children.

SAY:

Last week, you wrote praise statements, and your homework was to notice behaviors your child did well

and offer him or her praise. Please share your experiences.

Solicit responses from the parents. Be positive and offer praise and encouragement. Redirect negativity to

the concepts and skills learned.

Note: If any time remains at the end of the homework discussion, use it to review the Group Guidelines.


VIDEO

INSTRUCTION

2.2 Video Narration - Introduction to Stress

Narrator:

Often, people think of stress as a negative. But, stress is not always bad for us. Think about stress like the strings of a guitar. Without tension, the strings will not make a sound. When there is too much tension, the sound is harsh, and the strings may even break. A well-tuned guitar with an appropriate amount of stress is the key to being able to play music.5

In the human body, stress influences hormones. Some help us respond rapidly to danger while others calm us. For example, fear causes the release of adrenaline, which helps prepare our bodies to either get away from danger or defend against it. Relaxation exercises release endorphins and other brain chemicals that are calming.

Research shows that under stressful situations, the hormone, cortisol, activates energy production. However, continuous stress can result in elevated cortisol, which has been shown to alter brain chemistry in infants, influence behavioral problems in children, and lead to weight gain and health complications in adults.6 This evidence highlights the link between our physical health and our mental and emotional health, and it reinforces the importance of preventing and reducing stress for overall well-being.

In adults, stress can show itself physically in many ways. It can cause headaches, muscle tension or pain, insomnia, and chest pain. Too much stress negatively impacts health and can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and diabetes.

To lovingly and effectively care for your family, and to help your children cope with stress, you must first manage your own stress. You are a priority! If you’ve ever flown, then you’ve heard the airline’s message that, “In case of an emergency, you need to put your oxygen mask on before helping others.” This same principle is true for parenting. Raising a young child can be demanding. You deserve to care for your needs! By doing so, you are being fully responsible to yourself and to your family.

Direct to Video 2.5 Minutes


2.3 Nurturing Your Emotional Health 8 Minutes

SAY:

Everyone feels stress sometimes. Understanding your own and your child’s needs, using long-term stress reduction strategies, and finding ways to calm down in stressful moments can prevent and reduce stress.

I have listed examples of some general ways you can manage your overall stress.

Before the session, label a flip chart page, GENERAL STRESS MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES, and list all of the examples. Read the examples to the group.

Meditation/spiritual connection/prayer

Spending time with friends

Talking about feelings

SAY:

One of the best ways to cope with stress is to maintain a sense of emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you happiness and fulfillment.

Please turn to the Taking Care of Emotions page in your participant workbook.

This page lists some ways that individuals can release negative emotions and maintain a sense of emotional well-being. Let’s use it to identify pleasurable activities that you already enjoy and that you might try to manage stress.

Direct the participants to the Taking Care of Emotions page in their workbook.

SAY:

In Part I, pick one strategy that you already use. Mark it.

Allow participants a few moments to mark one.

SAY:

Now, pick one strategy that you would like to try. Mark it and identify steps for using it in Part II.

Allow participants a few moments to mark one.

CONTINUED ON THE NEXT PAGE...

WORKBOOK WORKSHEET

Exercise

Alone time/quiet time

Spending time enjoying hobbies/interests (like reading, listening

to music)

To manage the time for this exercise effectively, it is important to prep the three flip chart pages

with the provided labels and examples BEFORE the session. Also, consciously keep the discussion

moving during each segment.


SAY:

Stressful parenting moments can be opportunities for us to model coping strategies for our children.

We can state our feeling—such as “I’m feeling frustrated,” or “I feel angry right now.”

We can tell our child that we need time to calm down and then model ways to calm down.

One effective strategy is controlled breathing. It is one of the best ways to release tension, lower blood pressure, and promote feelings of calm! Together, let’s practice!

Practice the breathing exercise with the group two times. SAY:

Sit tall and rest your hand on your lower abdomen.

You can close your eyes or simply glance downward.

Take a deep breath through your nose on a count of 3. As you do, feel your diaphragm inflate with enough air to create a stretch in the lungs.

Then, slowly release the air on a count of three.

Running late for an appointment or event

The end of a long day

A misbehavior is repeated

A child is complaining

Demands are being made by child

Worried about someone or something

Busy or distracted by another task

Feeling disrespected

Overwhelmed by housework or family responsibilities

Items are broken or not working

Deep breathing

Thinking about the child’s perspective/feelings

Self-talk (“I can do this.”)

Ask for help

Take a walk/exercise

Calmly release emotions (cry, journal…)

Self-pampering (bubble bath)

Timeout (leave room, have a cup of tea…)

Think realistically about the gravity of the situation

or the consequences (“This is not the end of the

world!”)

Count to ten

SAY:

Sometimes, our stress impacts our parenting and makes it difficult to show love or to discipline while

remaining calm. We are going to list times when it is hard to stay calm. For example, it can be challenging

when we are tired or feeling unappreciated. I have listed a few examples. What are some others?

Before the session, label a flip chart page, TRYING TIMES, and list four of the examples below. Read the four examples and briefly solicit additional participant responses (1 minute) and write them on the flip chart page.

SAY:

I have listed some healthy ways that individuals can calm down during stressful moments.

Before the session, label a flip chart page, STAYING CALM, and list the examples below. Read all of the staying calm examples.


VIDEO

INSTRUCTION Direct to Video 2.5 Minutes

2.4 Video Narration - Identifying Emotional Triggers

Narrator:

As parents, we assume a lot of responsibility, and it’s easy to get caught up in all of the things we have to do every day--cooking, cleaning, budgeting, taxiing--and a host of other responsibilities! When we are stressed, our children feel it too. Sometimes, stopping and reflecting on our feelings can help us reduce our stress. This is especially important because our stress impacts interactions with our children.

Dramatic Scene:

Parent 1: Whenever I’m busy with something, that’s when Elizabeth wants me to pay attention to her! No matter what I tell her, she keeps nagging, and it makes me furious! I don’t want to, but I end up screaming at her.

Parent 2:

I know what you’re saying! Children need a lot of our attention! I become more easily irritated with my children when I’m stressed out about other things, or if I haven’t had enough sleep.

Parent 1: Yes! I find it really hard to stay calm after a bad day at work.

Parent 2: You know…I have come to realize that certain behaviors are emotional triggers for me, like when my children whine. Knowing this makes it easier for me to pause before reacting.

Parent 1: I really feel frustrated when my children don’t show appreciation. I do so much and sometimes all I want is a simple thank you!...(reflective) I guess sometimes this makes me so angry that I start barking orders and punishing my children for not immediately doing what I want.

Parent 2: Exactly! My feelings and frustrations drove my reactions! Now, I am able to prevent problems and to discipline more calmly when needed. When my kids do something wrong, I try to step back and think for a moment about how I feel before I react, it helps me to stay calm. And you know, it‘s funny, but I think my kids actually listen to me more when I’m calm!

Narrator:

Children do respond better when we are calm and loving! Staying calm allows us to control our responses and even discipline more effectively. When we ensure a nurturing and caring environment for our children, we can respond to their misbehaviors, not as punishable moments, but as teachable moments.

Knowing our own emotional triggers also allows us to actively model coping strategies for our children. Children learn by watching and listening.

Also, remember that we are all human and make mistakes. Showing our children how to apologize when we show disrespect or display impatience can be a powerful way to teach relationship skills and character.


SAY:

Parenting is one of the toughest— but most rewarding jobs! Parenting demands that we are aware of our

emotions and how these emotions drive our actions.

Please turn to the Mindful Parenting worksheet in your workbook. It consists of a reflection activity. I will

lead you through the activity. Please write down honest and thoughtful answers. There are no right or

wrong answers. You will not be asked to share so you do not need to worry about spelling! Instead,

simply focus on your personal thoughts.

Part I:

SAY:

We will complete Part I first.

For question 1, write down 2 words that describe the kind of relationship you want to have with your

child. For example, you might write “affectionate.”

For question 2, write down 2 words that describe how you want to interact with your child, especially in

trying times. For example, you might write “patiently.”

Allow 1 minute for written responses.

Part II:

SAY:

It can be helpful to identify our emotional triggers. We all have emotional triggers! In Part II, write down

circumstances in which it is hardest for you to remain calm and loving. For example, the woman in the

video shared it is hard for her when she has had a bad day or is tired. Fill in Part II.

Allow 1 minute for written responses.


WORKBOOK WORKSHEET

2.5 Mindful Parenting 7 Minutes

Direct participants to the Mindful Parenting worksheet in their

participant workbook.


Part III:

SAY:

In Part III, think about behaviors that cause you to experience negative emotions. For example, the

women in the video shared that children’s whining or a lack of showing appreciation were emotional

triggers for them.

For question 1, list two behaviors. Then, for question 2, consider the source of the feelings causing your

reaction. For example, perhaps a child talks back and the parent feels angry because he or she wants to

be respected. Complete Part III.

Allow 3 minutes for written responses.

SAY:

Each of you have identified some emotional triggers. I encourage you to acknowledge these triggers

with self-compassion.

Next time you experience these emotional triggers, I encourage you to pause and reflect on the

qualities you indicated in Part I as being important to you in your relationship with your child. Choose

to act in a way that promotes those qualities.

SAY:

I am distributing a guide filled with strategies that you can practice to

become more mindful in your parenting and promote the psychological

health of your child.

Distribute the Breathe to THRIVE! guides.

PARENTING RESOURCE


VIDEO

INSTRUCTION Direct to Video 4 Minutes

2.6 Video Narration - Signs of Stress in Children

Narrator:

Research has identified two types of stress: normative and non-normative stress.7 Normative stress is encountered when managing everyday tasks, like preparing dinner, answering a phone call, and entertaining your child - all at once! Non-normative stress occurs when stress is sudden and extreme. It can be the result of a major life change, like the birth of a child, or a crisis, like a family member being injured in an automobile accident. Both types of stress can become unmanageable if not addressed.

Stress can affect children too. Younger children may find it hard to recognize and tell us when they are experiencing stress. Physical symptoms, like headaches, fatigue, sleep problems, dizziness, and an upset stomach, can be signs of stress. Stress can also change children’s behavior. They may become irritable, temperamental, or moody. They may also act younger in an effort to gain more attention and may even revert to behaviors they have outgrown, like sucking their thumb or talking in a baby voice. You may also notice that they become more reactive than usual.

Dramatic Scene 1:

Child: Can I go outside and play with Emma?

Parent: You can play, but I want you to take your backpack and coat to your room first.

Child: No! I just want to go outside! (stomps feet, slumps shoulders, and begins to cry) I’m tired of everyone telling me what to do!! (drops to floor crying)

Narrator:

Children under stress may also withdraw from activities that they would usually enjoy. They may even avoid parents and friends.

Visual of Dramatic Scene 2.

Narrator:

They may express worry, complain, cry, show fear, or cling to a parent. You may also notice them sleeping too much or too little, making negative comments, or biting their nails.



2.6 Video Narration Continues - Signs of Stress in

Children

Dramatic Scene 3:

Parent: (upbeat) Time to leave! Grab your backpack!

Child: (hugs parent tightly) I don’t want to go. Can’t I stay with you today…(whining) please?

Narrator:

Sometimes a child will release stress by playing or acting more aggressively or talking about violence.

Dramatic Scene 4:

Child 1: I win!

Child 2: This is a stupid game! (upsets board and stands up) And you’re a loser! (pushes the other child – the other child is stunned) I’m not playing with you anymore. (kicks/punches item nearby)

Narrator:

A child under stress may also alter their regular eating patterns and begin to eat too much or too little.

Visual of Dramatic Scene 5.

Narrator:

It is important to know that changes in behavior are not always a sign of serious problems, but unusual or negative changes in a child’s mood or behavior are almost always a clear indication that something is wrong.

Sometimes a child may behave at home but act out in unusual ways in other settings. Stay informed of behavior changes by communicating often with other adults who have regular contact with your child, like his or her teacher.



2.7 Identifying Feelings 3 Minutes

SAY:

When children are exhibiting signs of stress, it can be helpful for parents to

consider the source of stress and what the child may be feeling.

We can help children identify, name, and understand their emotions.

Together, let’s think about some uncomfortable feelings that a child may

experience as a result of a stressor or unmet needs. As examples, a child

starting the first day of school might be feeling afraid or a child who loses a

game may feel disappointed. Let’s list some others.

Write the participant’s responses on the flip chart. Responses might include the

following:

Annoyed

Confused

Lonely

Overwhelmed

Worry

Uncertain

Sad

Grief

SAY:

Remember! Feelings are real and authentic! We, as parents, should not tell a child what or how to feel.

However, we can have expectations for how a child reacts to emotions, and we can model appropriate

coping strategies.

2.6 Video Narration Continues - Signs of Stress in

Children

Dramatic Scene 6:

Teacher: Are you seeing anything different at home?

Parent: She has been somewhat more distant at mealtime. I thought she was just going through a phase.

Teacher: Well, when I ask questions of the class, she’s usually one of the first ones to raise her hand, but, lately, she has been quiet. Even during playtime, she hasn’t interacted with her classmates much. She is usually laughing and energetic. Lately, she just wants to draw and color by herself…You asked to be kept informed, so I wanted you to know.

Parent: I wonder if something else is bothering her. I appreciate you telling me and I will talk with Elizabeth.

Narrator:

For both adults and children, when stress becomes overwhelming, reaching out for support may be helpful.

Seeking resources is a sign of strength and shows a clear commitment to the well-being of yourself and your

family.

Embarrassed

Angry

Impatient

Pain

BEFORE the session, label a flip chart page, UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS.


Redirect to the Video 15.5 Minutes VIDEO

INSTRUCTION

2.8 Video Directed Activity - Sources of Stress

Vignettes

Narrator:

Stress is not only caused by the demands placed on us but also by our perception that the demands are difficult or impossible to complete.

Feelings of heightened stress can be caused by external influences, as well as our own internal thoughts, feelings, and reactions. Let’s watch the next few scenes and consider how stress affects each child.

Segment 1– Overscheduled

Narrator:

When overscheduled, children may complain about activities or even refuse to go.

Dramatic Scene 1:

Parent: Hey – good game!

(Child starts to run towards playground. Dad stops him.)

Parent: Whoa! Where are you going?

Child: To the playground.

Parent: No, we need to leave. Pick up your backpack. We are in a hurry and need to move fast!

Child: Why? (resisting) Can’t I take a break! I want to play.

Parent: Matt, don’t give me a hard time, we need to get going so we can grab a bite to eat and get to your guitar lesson on time.

Child: (moaning) Can’t we just go home. I’m tired.

Parent: No. I’m paying good money for those lessons. We’ve got to move right away. Now, hurry!

Child: I’m too tired – you go. (sits down)

Parent: That’s it! I’ve had it with your complaining! Get up!...Give me your backpack…(pulls child up) Get going!



Segment 1Continues…

Narrator:

In this situation, the child feels overwhelmed and tired. Children need to have some unstructured free time. It helps them to relax and reduces stress. We all need time to recharge!

Dramatic Scene 2:

Child: Do we have to go anywhere tonight?

Parent: No, not tonight.

Child: (as if cheering) Yes! Can I go outside to play? I want to show Megan and Jake my new ball.

Parent: Yes, I’ll call you for dinner in about an hour.

Narrator:

In this scene, the child is allowed to enjoy himself and his friends. Remember, play is the work of children! Through unstructured play time, they learn how to share, to negotiate, and to advocate for themselves and others. It also gives them time to explore and develop interests, competencies, creativity, and imagination.

Children who are overscheduled can feel tired and overwhelmed. What are some ways that parents can alleviate this source of stress?

DISCUSSION - 1 MINUTE

SAY:

What are some ways that parents can keep a child from feeling overscheduled?

Seek responses from the participants: talking with the child about his or her concerns, limiting the number of

activities in which he or she participates, planning unscheduled time, considering dropping or reducing the time

committed to an activity, and helping the child manage time and responsibilities.


Segment 2 - Changes and a Lack of Stability

Narrator:

Children crave security and structure. Familiarity makes navigating the world less stressful for them. Lifestyle changes can disrupt children’s routines. Even common transitions can cause uncertainty, like the start of school. Other changes, like a move or a divorce, can disrupt children’s sense of stability, identity, and confidence in the love and acceptance of their parents.

Dramatic Scene 3:

Parent: I knew it! I knew he’d be late. You have to be at practice by 4:00, and it’s already 3:40! (Pause – pacing.) Do you know that your father has never been on time a day in his life?

(Child tries to answer but Mom continues.)

Parent: Of course you don’t! – He is so unreliable! Please, promise me that you won’t grow up and act like him!

Child: (responds weakly) Maybe he is stuck in traffic…

Parent: (angry) Ha! Traffic. I’ll tell you if he doesn’t get here soon! (Pause - sigh). I’m always the responsible one! How about I just drive you? (Mom takes keys from pocket and starts down steps.)

(Sound of car approaching – pulls into drive – child is visibly unsure of whom to go with.)

Parent: (Driver opens the window to say hello, but is interrupted by the Mom saying...) It’s about time! You are late – again! Get Abbey to practice. (Turns to child.) Go!

(Child leaves looking visibly uncomfortable.)

DISCUSSION - 1 MINUTE and 15 SECONDS

SAY:

What are some feelings that the child may be experiencing?

Seek responses from the participants: confused, disloyal, and afraid.

SAY:

How might the child’s parents help to alleviate the stress?

Seek responses from the participants: avoid negative comments, assure the child that the divorce is not her

fault, assure the child that both parents love them, keep routines consistent, do not negatively compare the child

to the other spouse, and set consistent rules for both homes.


Segment 3 - Safety

Narrator:

Children can be deeply concerned about the safety of themselves and those they love. Surprisingly, media exposure can cause stress in young children. Dramatic Scene 4:

(Female child looks up from toys and looks at TV news story. She appears concerned. Then, turns to her brother.)

Child 1: Turn down your game. I don’t want to hear it. It sounds scary!

Child 2: It isn’t – Come here and look!

Child 1: I don’t want to.

Child 2: Oh, come on! – (Lily hesitates, but goes to the couch and looks – Matt makes sound effects and shoves the picture close to her face - the picture scares her.)

Child 1: OOOOH!

(She screams and runs into the kitchen to find Mom and Dad talking about her Grandfather, who is ill.)

Narrator: Concerns about death or illness can be stressful for young children…

Parent 1: (She is hanging up the phone.) That was the doctor. My dad needs surgery.

Parent 2: Oh. He looked so pale and frail the last time we saw him.

Parent 1: I’m worried he won’t survive the operation.

(Child is caught between her fear of the video game and her fear about her Grandfather. She is ready to cry.)

Parent 1: Lily, what’s wrong with you?


SAY:

What are some feelings that the child may be experiencing?

Seek responses from the participants: frightened, worried about the safety of those she loves, sensitive,

shocked, and sickened.

SAY:

How might the child’s parent help to alleviate the stress?

Seek responses from the participants: not watch or listen to the news with the child present; monitor the shows

that the child watches on TV; monitor violence in video games; and have adult discussions about illness, death,

or major life stressors in private.


Segment 4 - Separation

Narrator:

Some circumstances cause children to be separated from their parents, like going to school, staying overnight at a friend’s house, or having a parent who travels for work. Though these types of separations are typical, they can cause stress in children.

Dramatic Scene 5:

Parent 1: Well, it’s time for me to go!

Parent 2: We’re all proud of you and we’re going to miss you.

Parent 1: I’ll contact you as soon as I can. I know you will be strong and take good care of our family while I’m away.

(Parents hug.)

(Parent 1 leans down and hugs child.)

Child: (Loudly) Daddy, don’t go!!!! Don’t go!!!! (clinging)


SAY:

What are some feelings that the children may be experiencing?

Seek responses from the participants: worried, fearful for the parent, nervous, and lonely.

SAY:

How might a child’s parent help to alleviate the stress caused by separation?

Seek responses from the participants: talk about the change, acknowledge feelings, assure the child that he

or she is loved, coordinate safe living arrangements, keep routines consistent, decide on rules before leaving,

connect with the guardian during the separation to stay informed of the child’s activities and be able to discuss

them with the child during contacts, and find an activity that can be shared during the separation (e.g., reading

the same book).


Segment 5 - Perfectionism

Narrator:

Another source of stress for children is caused by unrealistic expectations. As parents, we want the best for our children! But, we must be careful to help them to be healthy achievers and avoid pushing them to be perfectionists.

When youth believe that they must consistently perform at unrealistically high standards - to please others or to feel accepted - they may begin to fear imperfection. This can have negative impacts, like becoming disinterested in learning or quitting tasks before being judged.

As we help our children to become successful, often our intentions are good, but our approach may be misguided. It is important to remember:

Children are not the products of their parents, and their challenges or successes should not be viewed as a reflection on us.

Criticism makes children feel inadequate.

Sibling comparisons can impact self-esteem and foster resentment within the family.

Children enjoy a greater sense of pleasure and fulfillment when their activities are driven by their interests and not by competition. Competition also fuels attitudes that are counter to teamwork, respect, and cooperation.

Dramatic Scene 6:

Parent: I can’t believe it!

Child: I told you I can’t play.

Parent: I can’t believe what I saw! Your team could have won the game if you had just caught the ball.

Child: I tried. It was just too high.

Parent: I’ve taught you how to play– and still you did everything wrong!!! It’s embarrassing! You can’t hit, you can’t field – and you certainly can’t catch the ball!

Child: I told you I wanted to play soccer, not baseball.

Parent: Your brother was the best player on the baseball field. He would have caught that ball! I don’t know why you can’t be more like him.

Narrator:

Ultimately, the fear of imperfection leads children to make choices that are guaranteed to be safe, which stifles creativity and innovation. It also diminishes joy and pride in their accomplishments – because they begin to adopt the belief that no effort is ever good enough.

In some cases, perfectionism develops when children try to avoid adding more stress to a parent’s suffering. In these cases, children assume an unhealthy responsibility - both for their own and their parents’ problems. As parents, it is important for us to assure them that it is not their responsibility to protect us or take care of our problems.



Segment 5 Continues...

Narrator:

We want our children to be healthy achievers, who see mistakes as opportunities for growth. Healthy achievers possess passion, creativity, and flexibility. They are not driven just by the end product, but they enjoy the experiences and relationships found in the process.

We can bolster their success! How?

Dial down competition.

Praise and encourage the process and effort, not just the product or achievement.

Hold expectations for character traits - and not simply accomplishments. One way to do this is to acknowledge positive traits, like humility, respect, and teamwork, in everyday heroes, such as teachers, coaches, or grandparents.

Provide opportunities to gain skills.

Recognize contributions.

And most importantly, show unconditional love!

Dramatic Scene 7:

Child: (handing folder to parent) Mrs. Murphy told me I needed to get you to sign my math papers and to bring them back to her.

Parent: Well, let’s take a look. (looks in folder and calmly says) MMM Hmmm!

Child: (showing worry) Multiplication is really hard.

Parent: These aren’t the best test scores, but I know you have been working hard and that you have been completing your assignments each night at home.

Child: (nods) Mmm...Hmmm!

Parent: And Mrs. Murphy’s note on this page tells me that you pay attention and participate in class – more than many others in her class. That’s good! Don’t you think?

Child: Yes.

Parent: I think you are doing a lot right and that with some more studying your grade will improve. I’ll tell you what – I’ll help you study for the next one. Let’s make some flash cards, OK?

Child: OK.

Parent: I’ll bet your next test score will be much better! What do you think?

Child: Yes, it will!

Parent: (hugs child) I love you, Kiddo!

Child: I love you too, Mom!



Segment 5 Continues...

Narrator:

Acceptance is the link between unconditional love and high expectations. Children are born with different temperaments, and they develop reasoning skills, learning styles, and interests that are unique to their own personalities. Accepting our children for who they are allows them to develop competence and confidence within their own special abilities.

Acceptance does not mean allowing misbehavior or relaxing rules. Rather, it means identifying the unique qualities of our children and then matching our expectations and goals to their unique interests and abilities. This builds their resilience. How?

First, feeling loved and accepted by parents creates an increased sense of security, which leads them to be more confident in their abilities, better able to confront problems, and more willing to reach out to others for support.

Second, each time children meet realistic goals or fulfill expectations, their sense of competency grows, and their self-confidence is strengthened.

Ultimately, they become more self-reliant and resilient!


2.9 Our Parenting Goal 1 Minute

SAY:

Do you remember in week one, when we identified the qualities you hoped your youth would develop as

they matured into adults?

Show the figure you drew on the flip chart paper in week one with the desired qualities listed on it.

SAY:

These traits—qualities that reflect one’s character, not accomplishments—are our goal.

Now, we are going to explore how to help youth cope, so these positive character traits can flourish.

VIDEO


2.10 Video Narration - Emotional Expression

Narrator:

Coping is one of the most important skills we can teach our children. Coping skills can be nurtured by creating a caring environment in which children are listened to and in which their emotions are validated. In contrast, when children’s feelings are denied or belittled, they may learn to be ashamed of their emotions and to mistrust their feelings.

Dramatic Scene 1:

Child: Watch me go down the slide!

(Child slides down and falls off at the end. Starts to cry.)

Parent: (taking his time to help) What’s the crying for - no problem – you’re not really hurt.

Child (crying) Yes I am! My hand! (The child grabs onto the parent and cries.)

Parent: Come on, be tough!

Child: (louder – protesting) DAD! It hurts!

Parent: (The parent reaches for the child’s arm to pull him up.) C’mon! Stop acting like a baby! You will be ok. Go play!



2.10 Video Narration Continued - Emotional

Expression

Narrator:

Negative emotions are protective and signal the need for caution. Fear or anxiety alerts us to the fact that we are outside of our comfort zone and that danger may be present. Anger informs us that our boundaries are being tested, that we may be hurt, or that we may need to defend ourselves. If children learn to suppress their emotions, they lose a valuable tool for protection and coping.

As parents, if we listen and show empathy, it will encourage our children to involve us in times of need, especially as they grow older. When children feel connected and able to communicate with caring adults, they become more resilient and capable of overcoming adversity.

Dramatic Scene 2:

Parent: (The parent gets up immediately and walks over.) Hey, that was quite a fall – are you alright?

Child: (still crying) My hand hurts.

Parent: OK, Let’s see it.

Child: (less crying – still some tears) OK, but be careful.

Parent: Oh, I will. Doesn’t look too bad …but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

Child: Yeah – I think it’s getting better.

Parent: Well, do you want to go home or play some more?

Child: Let’s play!


2.11 Initiating Conversations 2.5 Minutes

SAY:

Being able to express - and not suppress - emotions is important for healthy

coping and communication.

When a child is upset or exhibiting stress, it can be helpful to initiate a

conversation for two primary reasons:

1. Clarification—It helps us to avoid misreading our child’s emotions; and

2. Respect—It acknowledges the child’s need to be heard.

SAY:

Statements like, “Tell me how you feel,” can help a child feel comfortable sharing. What are some

statements you can say to initiate conversations when your child is upset or exhibiting stress?

Seek answers such as the following:

VIDEO


I want to understand how you are feeling.

Please tell me, so I can understand.

I’m concerned about you. What is upsetting you?

It seems like you have a lot on your mind.

It seems like your feeling ____. Is that right?

Label a flip chart page, REASONS FOR INITIATING CONVERSATIONS, and list the two reasons below on the

flip chart page BEFORE the session.


2.12 Video Narration - Beliefs and Interpretations

Narrator:

Through open communication, we can help our children to process challenges, including difficulties, dangers, and relationship problems.

Healthy thinking patterns promote the confidence and competency needed to overcome challenges. By teaching children problem-solving skills, they learn how to reframe negative thoughts, like frustration, disappointment, sadness, and defeat.

Children ages 5 to 8 are developing greater thinking and processing skills, but they still can’t fully process emotions or form solutions. So, when dealing with problems and challenges, they can develop their own story of WHY they struggle or fail. Their thinking influences how they respond as well as their willingness to take further action.

Dramatic Scene 1:

Child: (exclaims with frustration) I can’t do this problem! I’m too stupid!

Scene Pauses.

Narrator:

We all have struggles. Understanding the source of our problems enables us to seek help and make healthy changes. Some children consistently blame and criticize themselves for problems. These personal attacks can sabotage their self-image and ability to find solutions.

Scene Resumes:

Child: I’m never going to be able to do math no matter how hard I try! I give up!

Scene Pauses.

Narrator:

Children’s view of HOW LONG a problem will last impacts their response. If they believe that the cause of the problem is lasting or outside of their control, they may feel defeated and give up.

Children also determine HOW AFFECTED they are by the perceived failure, and they are more likely to be anxious and incapable of coping if they view a problem as catastrophic or disastrous.

Scene Resumes:

(The child begins crying and the parent walks over to the child.)

Parent: Hey Cruz, what’s the problem?

Child: It’s multiplication – I just can’t do it. I hate it!

Parent: Well, wait a minute, maybe I can help.



2.12 Video Narration Continued - Beliefs and

Interpretations

Child: I’m probably the only one in my class who needs their mother to help them! If I have the wrong answers tomorrow, all the kids will make fun of me! I’ll never be good at math! They are going to make me repeat the 2nd grade! I just can’t do it anymore!

Narrator:

Although this child was struggling to answer one math problem, he decided that he would fail 2nd grade and never be able to learn math. Mentally, he turned the difficulty into a disaster that he could not overcome.

Behavior is influenced by our thinking, our feelings, and our actions. Sometimes, we need to help our children ask certain questions: Is my thinking about this problem accurate? Am I interpreting my feelings accurately? Are my thoughts and feelings about this challenge helpful?

We can help children hear that silent voice in their heads that explains their beliefs and forms their interpretations by teaching them Thought Catching. This helps them to process problems realistically, rather than just responding to them emotionally.

THOUGHT CATCHING:

Learn to recognize negative thoughts.

Evaluate these thoughts for accuracy.

Develop more accurate explanations or story lines when bad things happen.

Let go of harmful thoughts that cause a small mistake or failure to be perceived as an inevitable disaster.8,

9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Resilient youth use thought catching to help manage their emotions and behaviors before their story becomes catastrophic. This helps them to assess the control they have over a situation and whether the problem will last. Children can then decide how best to meet the challenge.


THOUGHT CATCHING STEPS

Learn to recognize negative thoughts.

Evaluate these thoughts for accuracy.

Develop more accurate explanations or story lines when bad things happen.

Let go of harmful thoughts that cause a small mistake or failure to be

perceived as an inevitable disaster.

SAY:

I am going to read some scenarios. Try to identify the inaccurate belief of each child.

While reading the following three scenarios, vary your tone and energy level so it sounds as if a child is

making each statement. After each scenario, ask the participants to identify the inaccurate beliefs of the

child.

Susan is having a birthday party. She invited Mary and not me! No one likes me!

Responses: not liked, unlovable, I have no friends

I don’t know that word! Reading is too hard! I’m so stupid!

Responses: not intelligent enough, can’t learn, should give up because it is too hard

Mrs. Snyder let Jenny play the triangle again in music class. It should have been my turn! The teacher

hates me!

Responses: not liked, unlovable, not deserving of attention, will never have opportunities

SAY:

Once beliefs and feelings are identified, we can state the feeling and help our children reduce harmful

self-judgments and initiate problem solving.

2.13 Influencing Healthy Thinking Patterns 4 Minutes

BEFORE the session, review the Thought Catching Visual in the participant workbook. Label a flip chart page,

THOUGHT CATCHING STEPS , and write the steps under the label.


2.14 Video Directed Activity - Showing Support

Narrator:

We can help children overcome self-defeating thinking patterns by showing love and helping them to process their emotional reactions. Let’s watch six steps for actively listening and showing support.

Dramatic Scene 1:

Child: (The child, who is in tears, is running into the room to her Mother.) Mommy!!!!! Tommy’s bad! He won’t let me play!

Parent: (at sink washing dishes – She looks down and then, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. – She turns to the child.)

Narrator:

We saw this mother take a pause before responding. What are some ways that we can remain calm and show children we are relaxed?

Dramatic Scene Continues:

Child: (stomps feet) Tommy hurt my feelings! He is so mean! He never lets me play!!!!

Parent: (She drys her hands and bends over and hugs the child.) Wow! You are really upset. Let’s take a deep breath. (parent models)

Narrator:

This mother validated her child’s emotions and offered reassurance by physically hugging and comforting her child. What are some ways that we can comfort and physically show children we care?


VIDEO

INSTRUCTION

Direct to Video 5.5 Minutes

30 SECOND DISCUSSION - RELAX

The facilitator should solicit answers: deep breaths, mental pause, self-talk, consider the child’s perspective/feelings, and relaxed posture.

30 SECOND DISCUSSION - REASSURE

The facilitator should solicit answers: physical contact - kiss, hug, pat/rub back, cuddle, sit close, and hold hand.


2.14 Video Narration Continued - Showing Support


Child: (beginning to calm, but still angry) Tommy told me I couldn’t play with him because I’m not dressed like a super hero! (forlorn, eyes downcast)

Parent: (kneels down, lifts child’s chin to make eye contact with the child)

Narrator:

This mother was fully present. She stopped what she was doing, knelt to her child’s level, and made eye contact. The child knew she was heard! We live in a world full of distractions, how can we show children we are fully present and listening?

Narrator:

The next three steps not only show children they have been heard, but they promote discussion and child-led problem solving.


Parent: So, Tommy is pretending to be a superhero and you want to play too.

Child: Yes! And, he won’t let me!

Narrator:

In this step (SUMMARIZE), we briefly echo what we’ve heard. This allows us to check that we’ve heard the facts correctly.


Parent: So, it sounds like you must be feeling sad that Tommy won’t let you play.

Child: No, I’m mad!!!


30 SECOND DISCUSSION - BE PRESENT

The facilitator should solicit answers: limit distractions (e.g., turn off cell phone), make eye contact, and listen for meanings/feelings.


2.14 Video Narration Continued - Showing Support

Narrator:

In this step (STATE THE FEELING), suggest how the child might be feeling. Like this mother, we might start by saying, “It sounds like you are feeling…”.

Children can then confirm what they are feeling, so we can continue the conversation and support them in identifying solutions.


Parent: You are angry. Ok. So, what might help you to feel better?

Child: I want to dress up like a super hero. Then, Tommy might let me play.

Parent: Which one, Wonder Woman?

Child: No, Mom. Super Girl! I need a cape!

Parent: Let’s see if we can find something you could use as a cape.

Child: Yes! Then, can you come and talk to Tommy with me?

Parent: Yes, talking to Tommy is a good plan!

(Parent and Child leave to find a cape.)

Narrator:

This mother empowered her child to calm down, understand the problem, and find a solution. When your child has a problem, how can you keep the discussion going without making the child feel pressured or judged?

Narrator:

Remember to actively listen and avoid formulating responses while your child is speaking. Instead, reassure, ask questions, and remind your child of their coping strategies. This will encourage child-led processing and build problem-solving skills!

30 SECOND DISCUSSION - EMPOWER

The facilitator should solicit answers: continue to listen, ask questions, avoid interrogating, avoid inter-rupting, avoid giving advice, and resist lecturing.


2.15 Facts and Feelings 9 Minutes

Have the Scenario Cards and Facts and Feelings Signs ready to use as prompts during the role play.

SAY:

Now, let’s practice the steps! We will role play. As an example, can I have two volunteers? One person

will play the parent, and the other will play the child. The child will act out the statement on the scenario

card, and the parent will practice each of the steps with my help.

Ask the two volunteers to come to the front of the room. (Note: A prize can be given for participation.)

Hand them a Scenario Card. Have the volunteer child set the scene by reading the scenario on the card. (If

literacy concerns exist, read the card to the volunteers.) Guide the volunteer parent through the steps:

Step 1: RELAX Sample actions: deep breathe, mental pause, self-talk, relaxed posture Step 2: REASSURE Sample actions: physical contact—hug, pat on back, cuddle, sit close, hold hand Step 3: BE PRESENT Sample actions: limit distractions (e.g. turn off cell phone), make eye contact, listen for meaning/feelings Step 4: SUMMARIZE Sample actions: Verbally reflect back what was heard Step 5: STATE THE FEELING Sample actions: Suggest the feeling hearing—“It sounds like you are feeling…” Step 6: EMPOWER Sample actions: Ask questions and briefly allow the child to lead in processing a solution SAY:

Now, everyone will practice a scenario! We will go around the room. You will partner with the person sitting next to you. I will read a Scenario Card for each pair and they will act out the scenario. I will hold up the Facts and Feelings Signs to offer prompts. Let’s begin!

At their seats, lead all of the participants in

practicing a scenario with one person as the child

and the other as the parent.

SAY:

You have done a great job of practicing communication skills that can help your

child cope more effectively! Now, please turn to the Coping Strategies For

Children page in your workbook. It highlights ways to help your child develop

coping skills. Try them at home!

Direct participants to the Coping Strategies For Children page in their workbook.

WORKBOOK RESOURCES


VIDEO

INSTRUCTION Direct to Video 2.5 Minutes

2.16 Video Narration - Calming Children for

Conversations Narrator: We just learned some steps to help us stay calm and show love when children are emotionally reactive. However, sometimes it is necessary to help our children to calm down before talking or problem-solving.

Imagine a 5-year-old, who has a tantrum. If this child’s anger or frustration is intense, she may not be capable of calming herself. In spite of trying, she may shake, cry, and even begin to feel worse because she is unable to follow her parent’s instructions. If others are present, she may even feel embarrassed. And guess what? When people feel embarrassed, they often become defensive and may lash out protectively. So, the child’s frustration, anger, and reactivity may increase.

To help her daughter calm down, the parent can:

Remove her to a quiet place without an audience, and explain to her that her behavior is disliked, but that she is cared about and that her feelings matter.

She can name her daughter’s feelings and explain that it will be easier to help her when she is calm and able to discuss the problem.

The parent can also guide her in releasing her strong emotions, like having her run in place for a minute or two.

After the energy is released, the parent can lead her child in a deep breathing exercise. For example, she might have her blow bubbles with slow, controlled breaths.

Once the child is calm, she can be engaged in a conversation to understand the cause of her strong emotions and to explore potential healthy solutions.

When children are able to release the energy of their emotions, it prepares them to process the emotions. It also helps them recognize that, through the choices they make, they can control uncomfortable feelings. This combination of practicing coping skills and gaining a sense of control can help children to overcome future crises or tragedies, learn from them, and to grow stronger.14


2.17 Coping Strategies 3 Minutes

SAY:

Congratulations! Today you learned ways to help children identify sources of stress and learn to express

their thoughts and feelings, which are some of the first steps in being able to use positive coping

strategies. This is important because as our children age, we want them to avoid using negative coping

strategies.

Direct participants to the Coping Styles Visual in their workbook. Use it as you provide an explanation.

SAY:

We have learned about some of the reasons that children feel stress. When individuals feel discomfort,

they attempt to feel more comfortable by changing the source of stress or changing themselves to adapt to

the source of stress.

As children grow, we want them to avoid negative coping strategies, which afford short-term relief from

discomfort but cause harm and perpetuate the cycle of stress. Can you name some negative coping

strategies?

Seek responses: substance use, bullying, self-mutilation, disordered eating, sex, isolation/withdrawal,

procrastination, and not doing school work.

SAY:

Young children don’t often engage in these coping strategies, but they may deny or avoid problems that

cause discomfort. Practicing the skills we learned today, will help your child deal with his or her emotions

and confront problems when he or she is ready. Your child will feel supported.

2.18 Strong Families Seek Support 2 Minutes

SAY:

We have been discussing how to effectively manage stress in our ourselves and our children. Sometimes

the best way for us to care for our families is to seek support - for ourselves or our children. It can be one

of the best gifts you can give your child!

In your workbook is a page that lists signs that a child or teenager may be experiencing stress or troubles.

I will also distribute a guide that can be used to access community resources.

Direct participants to the participant workbook. Review

the Signs of Trouble in Youth pages.

Distribute the Resources to THRIVE! booklets.

SAY:

Strong families recognize when they need help. We know when we are capable of feeling better! We can

seek help because we deserve to feel better! Reaching out is an act of strength and courage.

PARENTING RESOURCE


2.19 Relaxation Exercises 3.5 Minutes

SAY:

We have learned new strategies for coping and supporting our children’s emotional health. Tonight, we

are going to end with a relaxation exercise. It is simple, and you might want to try it at home with your

child!

Note: Lead the following activity in a soft, calming voice. Encourage the participants to quietly and peacefully

follow your verbal instructions for tightening and releasing all the body parts you name. The goal is to end with all

of the participants feeling relaxed.

SAY:

I invite you to sit up straight and rest your hands comfortably in your lap. You can close your eyes or

simply glance downward. We are going to tense and release the muscles in our bodies.

Let’s begin. Take a deep breath — and exhale. Take another deep breath — and exhale.

While breathing in through your nose, tighten the muscles in your feet. Now, release the muscles as you

release the breath.

Continue to instruct the participants to tighten and release muscles in each of the following body parts: legs,

hips and buttocks, chest, arms and hands, neck, and face.

SAY: Take another deep breath. As you feel ready, open your eyes. Wow! Wasn’t that a great way to relax?! There are fun ways to practice relaxation exercises with children, like wiggling like wet spaghetti or visualizing favorite colors. Look for exercises you can try at home in the Breathe to THRIVE! guide.

Direct participants to the relaxation exercises in the Breathe to THRIVE!

guide.

PARENTING RESOURCE


SAY:

Last week, we learned that positive youth development is driven by competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control.

Today, we focused on coping. Let’s briefly discuss how positive coping skills impact other aspects of youth development by answering these questions.

Allow approximately 1.5 minutes for processing the following questions.

SAY:

1. By building coping skills, children become better able to regulate and process their emotions. When a child or a youth can control his or her emotions, especially frustration and anger, he or she is more likely to be willing and able to treat others with patience and respect. Which of the 7Cs do these positive behaviors or qualities reflect?

Answer: Character

2. A child with strong coping skills will be better able to consider others’ feelings and to calmly negotiate. This will help them to build and maintain relationships. Which of the 7Cs are bolstered by these types of relationship skills?

Answer: Connection and Contribution

3. A child with strong coping skills is more likely to take healthy risks and persevere in learning new skills. With this determination, which of the other 7Cs will be strengthened in the child?

Answer: Competence and Confidence

4. When a child uses coping skills to remain calm under stress, he or she can make more rational decisions. Ultimately, the child begins to understand that there is a connection between good decisions and positive outcomes. Which of the 7Cs is the child exerting when he or she commands his or her thoughts, reactions, and decisions?

Answer: Control

If time remains, ask the group for other ways that coping promotes positive youth development.

Direct participants to the Home Practice section in their participant workbooks. Read the

home practice activity aloud.

SAY:

Now, look at your home practice for this week. It is to: Notice a time when your child is

under duress. Solicit the source of the stress through active listening. Show support and

identify a coping strategy that you can help guide your child in using to reduce the stress.


2.20 Closing and Homework 3.5 Minutes


SAY:

Also, in the Home Practice section of your workbook, you will find a Family Activity. This activity will

help you teach your child three stress management strategies: artistic expression, meditation, and

visualization. Have fun trying them with your child!

Direct participants to the Session Two Family Activity in their participant workbooks.

SAY:

I am now handing out a strategy card with easy tips for using the

skills we learned today.

Remember! You will also receive a text message and

an email with a short video that will provide more great

ideas for using this week’s skills. Please watch for them!

SAY:

Thank you for coming! I am so glad you were here today. The more you attend, the more you learn!

So, please plan to be here next week!

We will begin to learn strategies for setting rules and managing misbehavior.

I look forward to seeing you next__________ (insert day of the week)!

Pass out any weekly resources or incentives.

END THE SESSION.


Session Two References:

1. Ginsburg, K. R., & Jablow, M. M. (2011). Building resilience in children and teens: Giving kids roots and wings. (2nd ed.). Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics. 2. Lerner, R. M. (2004). Liberty: Thriving and civic engagement among America's youth. Thousand Oaks, CA:

Sage Publications. 3. Lerner, R. M., von Eye, A., Lerner, J. V., Lewin-Bizan, S., & Bowers, E. P. (2010). Special issue introduction:

The meaning and measurement of thriving: A view of the issues. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 39, 707-719.

4. Perkins, D. F., & Caldwell, L. L. (2005). Resiliency, protective processes, promotion, and community youth development. In P. A. Witt & L. L. Caldwell (Eds.), Recreation and youth development (pp. 149-167). State College, PA: Venture Publishing.

5. Ginsburg, K. R., & Jablow, M. M. (2011). Building resilience in children and teens: Giving kids roots and wings. (2nd ed.). Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics.

6. Anxiety in-depth report. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/health/guides/symptoms/stress-and-anxiety/print.html

7. Price, S. J., Price, C. A., & McKenry, P. C. Families & change: Coping with stressful life events and transitions. Retrieved from http://www.sagepub.com/upm-data/30979_Chapter1.pdf

8. Anxiety & OCD Behavioral Health Center. (n.d.) Cognitive Behavioral Model. Retrieved from http://anxietybehavioralhealth.com/what-we-do.html#sthash.O8EFqSPY.dpbs

9. Beck, A. T. (1991). Cognitive therapy: A 30-year retrospective. American Psychologist, 46(4), 368. 10. Ellis, A. (1991). The revised ABC's of rational-emotive therapy (RET). Journal of Rational-Emotive and

Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 9(3), 139-172. 11. Ginsburg, K. R., & Jablow, M. M. (2011). Building resilience in children and teens: Giving kids roots and

wings (2nd ed.). Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics. 12. Seligman M. E. P., Reivich, K., Jaycox, L., & Gillham, J. (2007). The optimistic child: A proven program to

safeguard children from depression and build lifelong resilience. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin Co. 13. Reivich, K., & Shatté, A. (2002). The resilience factor: 7 essential skills for overcoming life's inevitable

obstacles. Broadway Books. 14. Ginsburg, K. R., & Jablow, M. M. (2011). Building resilience in children and teens: Giving kids roots and wings.

(2nd ed.). Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics.

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