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The Standard fart is quite simply an average every day fart suitable for most
events and in the company of most everyone. It is dry in nature, but rarely
exibits a bouquet that will inspire jealousy among friends or co-workers. It
belongs to the same family as The Ripper, and often times only lacks a bit of confidence and pressure to achieve
this next level. An example of the standard fart may be heard by clicking
the button below.
Standard Fart
The Nervous Fart is only executable intentionally by farting masters, as it
is normally a reaction to an unpleasant situation rather than
something you can practice. You may have heard one of these at a
kindergarden concert or during a company meeting where layoffs were mentioned. One of the characteristics of this fart is the high pitch at the end caused by the clamping of butt cheeks once it is heard by the nervous culprit.
The Nervous Fart
The Cough-Fart Combo is a premeditated activity undertaken by one trying to mask his activities. This technique is often used in the presence of women; especially those who don’t understand
that farts are funny. Warning: The Cough-Fart Combo can be a double edged sword, especially when your timing is a bit off, or the fart lasts
longer than expected!
The Cough-Fart Combo
The Wet One will score you huge
points with the lads. Mostly because
they’re hoping you just shit yourself.
The wet one is often followed by an
inspection of one’s underpants for
damage.The Sticky One is funny for all
but the perpetrator, and usually
always results in the need for some
clean up.
The Wet One (AKA-Stickey Fart)
This fart is very standard and dry in nature but is, as mentioned earlier,
pushed out with a bit more confidence. It is usually quite well respected if it is heared by unsuspecting passers by or blown in a church or quiet place. It is
especially effective when used to punctuate the last word of a boring
speaker’s lecture.
The Power Fart
This fart is difficult to describe. It is
quite high pitched in nature, and often
times is associated with a tingling
vibratory feeling in the crotch area. It
can be used to significantly lengthen a
ripper or standard fart if you are going
for duration.
The Soprano
My personal favorite: The Ripper.It is strong, intense and gives you a
good deal of confidence that all have enjoyed or at least
experienced it.It is not only loud, and with
varriable tones, but carries with it the reputation as being quite
stinky. This one is ideally suited for a car journey, especially with child-
lock electric windows.
The Ripper
Yes!
Good one...
Baby, did you just rip aFart?
Here you can play with all of them!
Rip
per
Sop
ran
o
Pow
er
Wet
On
e (
Sti
cky O
ne)
Cou
gh
-Fart
Com
bo
Nerv
ou
s
Sta
nd
ard