Clear Writing Manual En - fighting the fog

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    Clear writing

    Fight the fog

    Human Resources and Security

    Learning and Development

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    Training developed for the European Commissionby DEMOS under the terms of a framework contract.

    www.demos.frwww.demosgroup.com

    This training manual complies with EMAS rules.

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    CONTENT

    INTRODUCTION: WHAT IS CLEAR WRITING? .............................................................. 4

    1. What do we expect from professional writing? ................................................ 5

    2. What do readers expect from professional writing? ........................................ 63. How do we judge the effectiveness of professional writing? ........................... 74. Some specific guidelines for the European Institutions ................................... 8

    5. What are the stages to clear writing? .............................................................. 9

    FIRST STAGE: HOW SHOULD I PREPARE? ............................................................... 10

    A.1. How do I know what to write? .......................................................................... 11A.2. How do I determine the aim of my message? ................................................. 12A.3. How can I understand my reader? .................................................................. 13

    A.4. Which structures are useful for reports? .......................................................... 14A.5. Which structures are useful for persuading? ................................................... 15

    A.6. Which structures are useful when advocating change? .................................. 16

    SECOND STAGE: HOW SHOULD I WRITE? ................................................................ 17

    B. Using gender-sensitive language ....................................................................... 18

    C.1. Omitting needless words ................................................................................. 24C.2. Keep your average sentence length to about 20 words .................................. 25

    C.3. Keep the subject, the verb, and the object together ........................................ 26C.4. Prefer the active voice over the passive .......................................................... 27

    C.5. End sentences emphatically ............................................................................ 28C.6. Simplify wordy phrases and eliminate nominalizations ................................... 29C.7. Make everything you write speakable ............................................................. 30C.8. Paragraphs: introductions, bridges and signposts .......................................... 31C.9. Be positive ....................................................................................................... 32C.10. Be polite ........................................................................................................ 33

    C.11. Moving from a multi-cultural to an international approach ............................. 34C.12. Check spelling and grammar ......................................................................... 39C.13. Check punctuation and capitalisation ............................................................ 40

    THIRD STEP: REVISE ................................................................................................... 41

    D.1. Hallmarks of good layout ................................................................................. 42

    D.2. A method to make a document easier to read, understand and recall ............ 43

    D.3. What personal impression will I leave? ........................................................... 44

    CONCLUSION: DEVELOP YOUR SKILL ....................................................................... 45

    Checklist: How to check the effectiveness of my text? ........................................... 45

    Annex 1. Formulas for letters and e-mail, in French and English ........................... 46

    Annex 2. A before-after example of clear writing .................................................. 47

    Useful Words Tips for Writing in Modern Business English ................................. 51

    Useful Phrases ........................................................................................................ 55

    BIBLIOGRAPHY: ............................................................................................................ 57

    EXERCISES ................................................................................................................... 58

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    Introduction what is clear writing?TrainingObjective 1

    This training aims to show how to write clearly and effectively: it is notintended as a grammar refresher. If applied, the methods shown in the

    course will result in greater consistency and quality of internal and

    external communication for the multicultural and multilingual

    administration that is the European Commission2.

    Types of

    documents

    Clear writing techniques apply to almost all professional documents:

    - correspondence: e-mails and letters;

    - administrative notes and memos;

    -

    minutes of meetings and reports;- summaries and synopses;

    - briefing notes and press releases;

    - texts for the Web.

    Modules This handbook is compiled of module sheets: each sheet is a reminder

    of the essentials of the technique presented.

    Checklist At the end of this handbook, you will find a checklist which you can use

    to quickly assess the effectiveness of a professional document. Using itwill also help you to continue to improve your skills after the training.

    Example of

    How Not To

    Write Clearly

    Department ofHealths definition of a container in the Medicines for HumanUse (Clinical Trials) Regulations 2004 :

    'Container', in relation to an investigational medicinal product, means

    the bottle, jar, box, packet or other receptacle which contains or is tocontain it, not being a capsule, cachet or other article in which the

    product is or is to be administered, and where any such receptacle is or

    is to be contained in another such receptacle, includes the former butdoes not include the latter receptacle.

    1This training is complementary to the training "Administrative Writing", which deals with administrative language andspecific characteristics of administrative documents of the Commission.

    2See on this subject the article by F. DUGU and A. VERVIER: "Written communication in French in a Europeanprofessional environment: an experiment ", in the Language and Man, vol. XXXIII, n4

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    What do we expect from professional writing?

    An operational

    document

    Why do you write a professional document?

    1. To convey a message that the reader understands as intended.2. To elicit a desired response from the reader: rapid, complete

    and constructive.

    Determine the

    purpose of your

    communication

    Your purpose might be:

    1. to informsomeone about something;2. to requestsomeoneto do something;3. to convincesomeone of something;4. to educatesomeone about something;5. to act as a call to action.

    Decide what the purpose of your writing is.That will help you to

    communicate more effectively.

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    What do readers expect from professional writing?

    A message that is

    as easy as

    possible to readand understand

    As a reader of professional documents, what do you expect?

    Most probably, you would like:

    1. an attractive layout;2. with logical, well-structured text;3. and a clear key message;4. that is as easy as possible to understand;5. that relates to my needs and wants;6. so that you know how to respond appropriately.

    As a writer, there are techniques you can learn to help you

    communicate more effectively with your reader. Sometimes, this

    involves un-learning old techniques.

    Put yourself in

    your readers

    place

    Ask yourself these 4 questions:

    1. Who am I writing for?

    2. What are their needs and wants?

    3. What is my message?

    4. Why is it important for them?

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    How do we judge the effectiveness of professional writing?

    A.B.C.D.

    framework

    The following criteria are a guide to judging the effectiveness of a

    professional document. Is the document :

    1. Accurate: does it contain precise information, logically linked;

    2. Brief: is it as long as necessary, while being as short aspossible;

    3. Clear: does it emphasise the important, de-emphasise theunimportant, and eliminate the unnecessary;

    4. Diplomatic: is it positive, polite and perfect. While a piece ofwriting may be grammatically correct, whether it is perceived by

    the reader as being diplomatic or not will depend upon cultural

    expectations.

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    Some specific guidelines for the European Institutions

    Administrative

    style 3

    If there are certain characteristics of administrative texts, what are

    they4?

    1. Form, particularly for official documents;2. Courtesy, whoever the recipient: another administration, a

    colleague or hierarchical superior;

    3. Objectivity (avoid using adjectives and adverbs that areinterpreted subjectively);

    4. andClarity, which reduces ambiguity and misunderstanding.

    Joint Drafting

    Guide

    In fact, all documents of the European institutions, internal and

    external, have to be particularly clear. In your opinion, why?

    1. Frequently, the writers and/or readers of these texts in Englishare not mother-tongue English speakers.

    2. The majority of these texts must be translated: complicated texttranslation is expensive, in loss of time and meaning5.

    3. Texts intended for the general public must be clear if we wantEuropean citizens to understand them and adhere to Europeanideals.

    The recommendations for drafting of legislative texts of the European

    Institutions stipulate clearly that the drafting of these texts has to be

    clear, simple and precise. The aim in applying this principle is twofold:

    firstly, to render Community legislation more understandable;

    secondly, to avoid disputes resulting from poor drafting."6

    These recommendations make sense for all writing, not only legislative

    drafting.

    3The Commission course "Administrative Writing" offers an opportunity to examine administrative documents in moredetail.

    4See R. CATHERINE, the administrative style, white Michel, 1996.5DG Translation promotes clear administrative documents; see its campaign "Fight the fog: how to write clearly ",

    http://ec.europa.eu/translation/writing/clear_writing/fight_the_fog_en.pdf. The campaign is also carried out byother administrations. The national French-speaking administrations also are anxious to improve legibility ofadministrative texts: see, for France, the "practical Guide of the administrative drafting"

    (http://www.adele.gouv.fr/reponseenligne/article.php3?id_article=6 ) and for the French Community of Belgium,the campaign "write to be read" (http://www.cfwb.be/franca/publicat/pg013.htm).6Joint practical guide of the European Parliament, the Council and the Commission for persons involved in the drafting

    of the legislation within the Community institutions

    (http://europa.eu/eur-lex/en/about/techleg/guide/index_en.htm)

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    What are the stages to clear writing?

    The Reader

    Experience

    1. Give your reader a good first impression through an attractivelayout. Their choice may then be to want to read immediately,rather than putting it off for later.

    2. Continue that good impression by writing in a style that isA.B.C.D.: accurate, brief, clear and diplomatic.

    3. Complete the good impression by using techniques to keep the

    reader interested, e.g. moving ideas forward, giving examples,using lists, figures and tables.

    3 essential

    stages

    Your writing will be more efficient and effective if you follow a

    process.

    A. Prepare: what will I write?"Writing comes more easily if you have something to say."7

    B. Write: how will I write it?"Ive planned it, I now have only to write it."8

    C. Revise: how will I re-write it?"Im not a very good writer, but Im an excellent re-writer."9

    7Sholem Asch8BALZAC, La Comdie humaine.9James Michener.

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    First stage How should I prepare?Know what you

    want to say

    This is probably the most important stage.

    First, develop and collect your ideas.

    Then, draw up a precise and complete outline / structure.

    The advantage of doing this is that when it comes time to write, you

    will only have to concentrate on expanding the outline.

    How to be

    accurate:

    preciseinformation

    - Relevant ideas, which cover all aspects of the question tackledin your text (A.1. sheet).

    - A succinct objective (A.2. sheet).

    logicallylinked

    - Taking account of your reader and his expectations (sheetA.3.).

    - A plan that effectively informs your reader (sheet A.4.), that

    convinces your reader (sheet A.5.) and encourages him reactpositively (sheet A.6.).

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    A.1. How do I know what to write?

    A generative

    method

    Concept mapping10 is a group of similar methods for generating

    ideas. Mind Mapping 11is probably the most popular technique.

    Concept maps can reveal aspects and relationships that you mightnot have considered through more traditional methods, e.g. linear

    note taking.

    An example12:

    A

    comprehensive

    method

    The 7 questions approach is a structured method of covering

    relevant information.

    WHAT? My essential message

    WHO? Persons concerned

    WHEN? Days, hours, timelines, deadlines

    WHERE? Places

    HOW? Circumstances, explanations

    WHY? Causes and/or objective

    HOW MUCH? Calculable and measurable data

    10http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concept_map

    11Tony Buzan, Barry Buzan, The Mind Map Book, BBC Active,2006.12Retrieved from: http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:MindMapGuidlines.JPG

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    A.2. How do I determine the aim of my message?

    Determine the

    key-message

    If you dont clearly know the aim of your message, how can you

    know what information to include and what to leave out?

    If you put everything in, how will your reader know what is

    important?

    You have to make some decisions.

    In addition, if you dont know what you expect of your reader, and

    state it in your message, how can you expect your reader to know

    what is expected of him?

    Ask yourself, what is the aim of your writing, and express it

    clearly, in a sentence13:

    1. determine the topic of your text and its problems(e.g.: meeting schedules: have to be fixed so everyone can

    balance working and private lives);2. define your objective;

    3. aim at a concrete result(use SMART objectives if it is useful);

    4. formulate your objective in positive terms;5. express it using an action verb;6. write a sentence of 15-20 words maximum.

    13The objective that you formulate, sometimes in "strong" terms, will probably not appear exactly in your final text. Butthis intermediate exercise will help you to clarify your objective and crystallise your key message.

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    A.3. How can I understand my reader?

    Know who your

    reader is

    Your text can have several readers. Your readers can be:

    1. the immediatereader (anyone who receives the document,reads it and decides where it goes);

    2. the primaryreader (anyone who takes a decision as a result of

    the document);

    3. the secondaryreader (anyone who is affected by the primary

    readers decision).

    Know your

    readers

    perspective

    If you take account of your readers point of view, you are more

    likely to be able to write in such a way as to reach them; questions

    like the following help you.

    1. How is the reader concerned with my message?2. What is his motivation to read my text?3. What opinion does he/she already have on the question?

    4. What is his knowledge of the subject (situation, vocabulary,references, !) and his level of English?

    5. What does she/he think of me, writer/sender?6. What relation do we have: hierarchical? equals? Do we know

    each other personally?

    Determine what

    you need to say

    Find out what your reader:

    1. knows already;2. needs to know;

    3. wants to know.

    There is no need to spend much time on what he/she alreadyknows, except to establish common ground.

    The 4

    BehaviouralTypes

    At a deeper level, we each have varied psychological needs that we

    want met by what we read:

    Type 1: Facts, figures, information, details, data, objective,measurable, logical.

    Type 2: Strong purpose, needs to understand how what they arereading meets their objectives.

    Type 3: Consensus, involvement, consultation, respectful style,needs to be certain that all of the people aspects have been dealtwith.

    Type 4: Overview, easy to read, well laid out, stimulating.

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    A.4. Which structures are useful for reports?

    The inverse

    pyramid

    This is an effective structure for a busy reader or one who isnt well-

    informed about the topic: it is particularly appropriate for e-mails oradministrative notes.

    Start with principal information.

    then supporting

    information ,

    in descending order

    of importance.

    The semi-

    chronological

    plan

    This is appropriate when there is a chronological link between

    elements. It corresponds to the order in which someone asks

    questions about a new situation.

    PRESENT What is the problem?

    PAST What are the causes of the problem?FUTURE What are consequences, forecasts, the

    solutions to put in place?

    The thematic

    plan

    This plan is appropriate to explain facts. The various ideas are

    grouped by thematic categories. A table or chart is often used to

    help explain.

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    A.5. Which structures are useful for persuading?

    A plan to

    suggest action:

    the FOR

    FORis appropriate when you want your reader to act on your

    message. It corresponds to the reader's reaction in a problematic

    situation: it first sees, then it judges, lastly it reacts.

    F presentation of the Facts

    O expression of an Opinion

    R statement of the Recommendations

    A plan to

    highlight a

    problem and to

    suggest

    solutions:

    GROW

    GROWis appropriate for a longer text, which presents a problem

    and suggests solutions.

    G The Goal what do you want to achieve

    R The Reality what does the current situation look like

    O The Options available analyse each one, using SWOT

    and PESTLE if appropriate. (See Below)

    W Which option do you recommend?

    Why?

    Who is involved?

    When? What is the timescale?

    A plan for long

    documents

    For long reports, you can use simple plans (inverse pyramid, semi-

    chronological or thematic) within the more developed parts of a FOR

    or GROW.

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    A.6. Which structures are useful when advocating change?

    NVC non-violent

    communication

    When your aim is to deal with a conflict or problem and you are

    requesting another person to change their behaviour, the basic

    principles of non-violent communication 14can be useful. The

    process is:

    Observation describe specifically and objectively the situation

    or the behaviour that you observed.

    Feelings15 express the feelings that this situation or this

    behaviour causes in you.

    Needs specify what your needs are in relation to this

    situation or this behaviour

    Requests ask for the change of behaviour or of the

    situation that you would like.

    Example From:[email protected]

    To:[email protected]

    Subject: request: your slides for meeting on 25 April

    Dear Mr Lampion,

    At our meeting on 1 April, we agreed that you would send me the

    slides that you showed at the meeting. To date, I have not received

    them.

    I need this information to finish the meeting minutes for the end ofthe month.

    Could you please send me your slides by Friday?

    Thank you in advance.

    Emily Purcell

    14Marshall B ROSENBERG, Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life, Puddle Dancer Press, 200315In a professional document, you might not include stage 2 (feelings).

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    Second stage How should I write?The best advice at this stage is to just write. This means you should

    follow your outline and expand the points you want to make, one by

    one. Remember that you can tidy up your writing during the third

    stage, revision.

    How to use GenderSensitiveLanguage

    Write in a gender sensitive manner (sheets B.)

    How to be brief Remember that to brief you need to write for as long as necessary

    and as short as possible. There are several ways to do this.

    Phrasingyour sentences

    omit needless words (sheet C.1.)

    keep your average sentence length to about 20 words

    (sheet C.2.)

    keep the subject, the verb, and the object togethertoward thebeginning of the sentence (sheet C.3.)

    prefer the active voice over the passive (sheet C.4.)

    end sentences emphatically (sheet C.5)

    Choosingyour words

    simplify wordy phrases and eliminate nominalizations(sheet C.6.)

    make everything you write speakable (sheet C.7.)

    How to be clear Remember that to be clear you need to emphasise, de-emphasise

    and eliminate as required.

    Connectingyour paragraphs

    introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence (sheet C.8.)

    bridge between paragraphs and provide signposts along the way

    (sheet C.8.)

    How to be diplomatic

    be positive use expressions which encourage your reader to react positively(sheet C.9.)

    be polite use salutations and fixed expressions appropriate to context andhierarchical link with your reader (sheet C.10.)

    use salutations and fixed expressions which respect the variouscultures of your readers (sheet C.11.)

    be perfect check for spelling, grammar and punctuation errors which couldconfuse your reader (sheets C.12. and C.13.)

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    B. Using gender-sensitive language

    Gender Where the gender being referred to is unclear, or refers to bothsexes, the traditional approach of English writers or speakers has

    been to use masculine nouns and pronouns. For example, the U.S.

    Declaration of Independence states that " . . . all men are createdequal . . .". Most native speakers were assured at school that men

    covers all of humanity, not the 50% born male.

    Nowadays, most English language readers no longer equate "man"

    with "people," Consequently, we need to think carefully about the

    words we use to express gender so as to be accurate and clear.

    Language and culture are self-reinforcing. If we exclude femalenouns and pronouns we are helping to sustain gender inequality.

    Pronouns How to deal with gender-neutral or gender-ambiguous situationscan be difficult, but here are a few options:

    Use "they" While controversial among purists, this option works well in atseveral situations.

    If a member of the publicwants to learn more about gender

    inequality, theyshould take a course on Gender Studies.

    Note that in this example, "a member" is singular, but in the secondsentence, it is replaced with "they," a plural pronoun. To some

    people will point out that this is grammatically incorrect, so it maybe preferable to write:

    If members of the public want to learn more about gender

    inequality, theyshould take a course on Gender Studies.

    Use she or heor she/he

    A simpler option is to write "she or he" or "she/he." For example,Each person voting at an election must make sure she or hebrings

    their voting card and personal identification with them.

    Alternatively:Each person voting at an election must make sure she/he brings

    their voting card and personal identification with them.

    Alternategenders andpronouns

    You may also choose to alternate gendered pronouns. This optionwill work in those situations in which the referent is equally likely tobe a male or a female. However, be careful:

    1. Not to inadvertently perpetuate stereotypes;2. To appear inconsistent.

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    Eliminate thepronounaltogether

    You may also eliminate the pronoun.For example,Many people accept the negative stereotype that if a person is a

    feminist, shemust hate men.

    could becomeMany people accept the negative stereotype that feminist beliefs

    are based on hatred of men.

    As the second version of the sentence talks about the beliefs it hasthe added benefit that it leaves open the possibility that men maybe feminists.

    Gendered nouns It may be possible to find gender-neutral nouns to replace thegendered version.

    gendered noun

    manfreshmanmankindman-made

    the common manto man

    chairmanmailmanpolicemansteward, stewardess

    congressman

    Dear Sir:

    gender-neutral noun

    person, individualfirst-year studentpeople, human beings, humanitymachine-made, synthetic

    the average (or ordinary) personto operate, to cover, to staff

    chair, chairperson, coordinatormail carrier, letter carrier, postal workerpolice officerflight attendant

    congress person, legislator, representative

    Dear Sir or Madam:, Dear Editor:, DearService Representative:, To Whom it MayConcern:

    Be careful to avoid occupational stereotypes. In particular, look out

    for things such as the use of female pronouns for nurses and male

    ones for doctors, for example.

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    Proper nouns The principles here are simple:

    1. Refer to women subjects by only their last namesjust as youwould do for men subjects.

    2. In circumstances where you're writing about several people whohave the same last name, try using the full name of the person

    every time you refer to him/her.

    3. Refer to women subjects by their full titles, just as you would

    refer to men subjects.

    For example, you wouldn't call American President Obama"Barrack," so you wouldn't want to refer to German Chancellor

    Merkel as "Angela." Simply call her "Chancellor Merkel," just as youwould write "President Obama" to refer to him.

    Sex versus Gender "Sex" refers to the biological and physiological characteristics that

    define men and women.

    "Gender" refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviours,activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate

    for men and women.

    To put it another way:"Male" and "female" are sex categories, while "masculine" and

    "feminine" are gender categories.

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    C.1. Omitting needless words

    of omitting 3

    advantages needless

    words

    Three good results occur when you omit needless words:

    1. your readers read faster

    2. your own clarity is improved

    3. your writing has greater impact

    Compare:

    It is not necessary that an investment advisers compensation be

    paid directly by the person receiving investment advisory

    services, but only that the investment adviser receive

    compensation from some source for his or her services.

    With:

    Although an investment adviser must be paid, the source of the

    payment does not matter.

    From 35 to 15 words, with no loss in meaningbut with

    enhanced speed, clarity, and impact.

    Imagine how this helps in sentence after sentence, paragraph

    after paragraph

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    C.2. Keep your average sentence length to about 20 words

    vary sentencelength

    The length of your sentences will determine the readability of your

    writing as much as any other quality. Thats why readability formulas,

    such as Gunnings, rely so heavily on sentence length.

    But you also need variety. A passage with sentences all of the same

    length would be boring to read, too. Have some 35-word sentences

    and even some 3-word sentences.

    factors causingsentences tolenghten

    Some of the reasons sentences become too long include:

    1. Overparticularization trying to say too many things at once, with

    too much detail and too little sense of relevance;

    2. Fear of qualifying in a separate sentence as if an entire idea and

    its qualifications must be squeezed into a single sentence;

    3. Outdated learning for example, the idea that it is poor grammar

    to begin a sentence withAndor But;

    4. Fear of being simple and, by implication, simple-minded and

    unsophisticated.

    use lists for

    further variety

    Lists are especially useful for highlighting important items. They

    effectively take the readers eye from one point to the next.

    A good list:

    - starts with an introduction sentence;

    - includes similar items;

    - uses similar verbs;

    - employs similar constructions;

    - has a maximum of 7 elements.

    Compare:

    My proposals for the renovation project of the cafeteria are:

    changing the location of the bar, repainting of the walls andaugmenting the number of tables and chairs.

    With:

    To renovate the cafeteria, I propose:

    - re-positioning the bar;

    - repainting the walls;

    - buyingmore tablesand chairs.

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    C.3. Keep the subject, the verb, and the object together

    Subject, verb,

    object is the

    logical order

    A sentence has two vital elements: a subject and a predicate(typically consisting of a verb and an object).

    It seems simple, but when dealing with complicated issues, writersoften complicate sentences by separating vital words.

    The reason you should put the subject and the verb at or near the

    beginning is that readers approach each sentence by looking for theaction.

    If a sentence has qualifiers or conditions, state those after the

    subject and verb. Itemize them separately if you think a list isappropriate.

    Compare:

    Ms. Lenderfield, during the course of her struggle to provide for her

    children as a single parent, accrued considerable debt to her family

    and others.

    With:

    While struggling as a single parent to provide for her children, Ms.

    Lenderfield accrued considerable debt to her family and others.

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    C.4. Prefer the active voice over the passive

    Remember it this way: if youre active, you do things; if yourepassive, things are done to you.

    How to identify

    the passive

    If you see a be-verb (such as is, are, was, or were) followed by apast participle (usually a verb ending in ed), you have a passive-voice construction.

    Four

    advantages of

    the active voice

    The active voice typically has four advantages over the passive:

    1. It usually requires fewer words;

    2. It better reflects a chronologically ordered sequence;

    3. Its syntax meets the readers expectation that the subject will

    perform the verb action;

    4. It makes writing more vigorous and lively

    When to use

    the passive

    The passive can be used:

    1. To describe processes The form should be completed and

    lodged with your supervisor.2. To avoid the implication of guilt or responsibility Mistakes

    were made.3. With certain verbs where the actor is unimportant We have

    been inundated with gestures of support.

    4. To order information for stress Edward II wasnt written byShakespeare, it was written by Marlow.

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    C.5. End sentences emphatically

    The end of a

    sentence is the

    most emphaticposition

    The most emphatic position in a sentence isnt the beginning, but theend.

    With virtually any sentence, you have a choice about what you wantto stress. If you want to avoid sounding like a bureaucratic bore,make it a conscious choice.

    Reordering can

    make a

    difference

    Consider:

    Melinda Jackson died three weeks later in Brussels, Belgium.

    Melinda Jackson died in Brussels, Belgium, three weeks later.

    Three weeks later, while visiting Brussels, Melinda Jacksondied.

    The first sentence emphasises the place of death. The secondemphasises the time of death. The third emphasises the death itself.

    A little reordering can make a big difference.

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    C.6. Simplify wordy phrases and eliminate nominalizations

    A readable text does not contain any verbal inflation16; so:

    eliminate uselessadverbs and adjectives Balancing the budget for Friday is impossible without sometype of additional aid.

    re-word relativeclauses

    The unit which has performed most efficiently!

    > The most efficient unit!

    All the candidates who are interested in this post have!.

    > All the candidates for this post have!

    eliminate dummysubjects

    There are four rules which must be observed!

    > Four rules have to be observed!

    replacenominalisations with theoriginal verb

    The function of this department is the management of

    accounts.

    > This department manages accounts.

    replacecircumlocutions

    In accordance with your request!..

    > As you requested!

    16Verbal inflation = excessive number of useless words to transmit a message.

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    C.7. Make everything you write speakable

    The question you

    answer unknowingly

    Whenever you write, whether you know it or not, youre

    answering a question: what do you sound like?

    You might be stuffy, defensive, whiny or aloof. You probably

    dont want to be any of those.

    The primary appeal oflanguage is to the ear

    Generally, the best approach to writing is to be relaxed and

    natural. It shows confidence and that youre comfortable with

    your written voice.

    Remember that the primary appeal of language is to the ear.

    Good writing is simply speech highlighted and polished.

    To the reader, few things are more pleasing than the sense a

    writer is talking directly to youone intelligent being to another.

    Contractions, andpronouns aid naturalwriting

    Contractions can be used whenever natural. Write as You Talk

    is the accepted rule of writing readablyand in English, the

    most conspicuous and handiest device of doing that is to use

    contractions.17 A 1989 study confirmed this: it found that

    frequent contractions enhance readability.18

    A word of caution: you might not be allowed to use contractions

    much until you achieve a certain level of seniority. Be patient.

    The use of first-person and second-person pronouns

    especially weand youengages readers much more because the

    text speaks to them directly

    Compare:

    If the employee feels that an interview with the immediate

    superior would be unsatisfactory, he/she may present hisgrievance to the next superior in line.

    With:

    If you feel that your superior will not handle your case fairly, you

    may go directly to your superiors superior.

    17Rudolf Flesch, The Art of Readable Writing 82 (1949)

    18Wayne A. Danielson & Domonic L. Lasorsa, A New Readabiltiy Formula Based on the Stylistic Age of Novels, 33 J.

    Reading 194, 196 (1989)

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    C.8. Paragraphs: introductions, bridges and signposts

    The best

    approach to

    open aparagraph

    The best approach is almost always to open a paragraph with a

    topic sentence.

    By stating the controlling idea, a topic sentence will lend unity to a

    paragraph, which typically begins with a shift in focus from what

    preceded.

    Also, your writing becomes much more skimmable: readers who are

    in a hurry will get your point efficiently.

    Bridges

    between

    paragraphs

    The paragraph opener also functions as a transition, particularly in

    longer documents.

    Readers will then immediately see whether a new paragraph

    amplifies what has preceded, contrasts with it, or follows it in some

    other way.

    There are at least three ways of bridging paragraphs:

    1. Pointing wordsthat is, words like this, that, these, thoseandthewhich refer directly to something already mentioned.

    2. Echo linksthat is, words or phrases in which a previouslymentioned idea reverberates.

    3. Explicit connectivesthat is, words whose chief purpose is tosupply transitions (such as further, also, therefore).

    A clear writer generally combines all the methods for bridging.

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    C.9. Be positive

    Accentuate

    the positive

    Your reader will generally react more favorably if you use positive

    language.

    Compare:

    Our offices close at 17..

    With:

    Our offices are open until 17..

    Compare:

    Point 5: As regards waste paper

    There are:

    - not enough recto-verso copies made;

    - not enough recycling through using old paper for drafts;

    - not enough on-screen checking before printing on paper;

    - sending too many letters when an email would suffice.

    With:Point 5: Proposal to make better use of paperWe suggest:

    - making more recto-verso copies;

    - recycling previously used paper by for drafts;

    - checking on-screen more often before printing;

    - sending more emails instead of letters.

    Compare:

    You still have not sent us your answer.

    With:

    To date, your answer has not arrived.

    Compare:

    If this amount does not arrive before 1 February, we will be obliged to

    impose 50 "for administrative expenses.

    With:

    Sending your payment before 1 February will save you administrative

    expenses of 50 ".

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    C.10. Be polite

    Use the

    conditional to

    emphasisepoliteness

    English is a direct language. It is unnecessary to use overly formal

    and polite expressions to make requests.

    Depending on the context and relationship, a simple please may be

    enough; e.g. Can you please return the signed document to me by

    tomorrow?

    Otherwise, the conditional form indicates your request is more polite;

    e.g. Could you please return the signed document to me by

    tomorrow?

    For even more formality you can write something like; e.g. Would it

    be possible for you to kindly return the signed document to our office

    by tomorrow?

    Note that inter-governmental communications may require an even

    more stylised expression of politeness, depending on how sensitivethe communication is.

    Standard

    openings and

    closings

    Forletters andemails:

    Dear Madam, Yours faithfully

    Dear Sir,

    Dear Mr Jackson, Yours Sincerely

    Dear Ms Jackson,

    Dear John, Kind Regards

    Fornotes:

    Note for the attention of Mr [ NAME ], [ Title ]

    Thank you in advance for considering !(my request, proposal, etc.)

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    C.11. Moving from a multi-cultural to an international approach

    Advice is often given that you should adapt your writing to the language and

    culture of your reader19.

    For example:

    In the South of

    Europe:

    1. Communication is generally more formal:

    Dear Sir/Madam, possibly including title,

    the hierarchical grade affects tone.

    2. Communication is more structured: there is anemphasis on the form used.

    In the North of

    Europe:

    1. Communication is generally more informal:

    first name and not a title,

    more equal treatment, whatever the grade.

    2. Communication is more direct: one goes straight tothe point.

    For a

    multicultural

    public:

    1. be polite, without being overly formal20.2. be friendly, without being familiar.3. be clear, without using humour or metaphor which your

    recipient may not understand or may even take offenceat. 21

    Examples: two e-mails written by different people who had the same workingrelationship with the recipient: both emails are professional and courteous.

    Dear Madam,

    Thank you for your message.

    The training room is equipped with the following:beamer, white board, flip chart.

    We did not accept more than 15 participants.

    Please contact me for any additional information.

    Sincerely,Claudia Cardinale

    Hello Anne,

    Minna will request the registeredparticipants to inform us of their needs.She is not here today or tomorrow andwill do so Wednesday on her return ifthat is alright for you.

    Thank you.

    Karen

    19See work on the cultural differences by E.T. HALL and G. HOFSTEDE20Being extra polite is never offensive; being overly familiar can offend some cutural groups.21Avoid humour, implications and metaphors, which could not be included.

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    If you think that Europeans can be neatly divided into two homogenous cultural groups, and

    only write to other Europeans, then this approach is probably adequate. But the European

    Commission is also an international organisation.

    In the past cultural differences were often a reason why communication could sometimes be

    difficult. Today, however, after half a century of European unity, what was once a reason

    can only be regarded as an excuse.

    A more effective approach might be to transcend the multi-culturalism debate altogether, and

    avoid most pitfalls of cross-cultural communication by using international or global English.

    We are thus moving beyond plain English to global English.

    What does global

    English look like?

    Shortsentences

    Short sentences give international readers confidence and

    minimize the risk of cross-cultural misunderstandings.

    Long sentences tend to:

    be difficult to translate accurately;

    have complex structures that confuse international readers;

    obscure the main point;

    cause grammar mistakes;

    create anxiety in people who dont read English fluently.

    International readers may read slowly, one word at a time.

    Therefore their short-term memory is strained by long sentences.

    (By contrast, native English speakers usually read in phrases.)

    Example: (27 words)

    The Fixed Securities Fund portfolio has reduced the term of its

    investments to match the average length to maturity of the

    government bond market as a whole.

    Better Version: ( 2 sentences, 12 and 15 words)

    The Fixed Securities Fund portfolio has reduced the term of its

    investments. The term now matches the average length to

    maturity of the whole government bond market.

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    AvoidFalse Subjects

    Sentences starting with phrases like 'It is' and 'There are' canconfuse international readers, especially if the sentence is long.In these cases, the words 'it' and 'there' usually have no meaning.They are called false subjects. Try to start every sentence with a

    word or phrase that means something.If you occasionally use a false subject, make that sentence very

    short.

    Example:

    It is extraordinary how warm the weather is for July.

    It has been observed that a certain ambivalence prevails.

    It will be in the Town Hall that Mika sings next Tuesday.

    Better Version

    The weather is extraordinarily warm for July.

    We have noticed that most people are ambivalent.

    Mika will sing in the Town Hall next Tuesday.

    AvoidNegativeQuestions

    Negative questions are often impossible to translate, and arenotoriously difficult for international readers. In many languages,people answer 'yes' where the appropriate English answer would

    be 'no'. Even one negative word in a question can destroycommunication.

    When you ask a question, keep it very simple. Make sure you askonly one question at a time.

    Example:

    You dont have the courage to acknowledge that yourallegations have no factual basis whatsoever, do you?

    Are you a Belgian citizen but have not been in Belgian at allduring the last three years. Yes/No.

    Better Version

    Do you admit that you made false allegations?

    Are you a Belgian citizen? Yes/No

    Have you stayed out of Belgium for the last three years?

    Yes/No

    Avoid

    Double Negatives

    Double negatives are doubly difficult for international readers. In

    English, two negatives make a positive. In some other languages,two negatives emphasise the negative. Thus an international

    reader may assume that not unusualmeans very unusual.

    Example:The 2005/2006 result is not displeasing. (International readers

    may assume this means it is very displeasing)

    Better Version:The 2005/2006 result is pleasing.

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    AvoidNegative Words

    Negative words are:

    obviously negative words (e.g. nobody, unprepared);

    words with negative implications (e.g. only, unless, without,except, excluding, despite, default, delete, cancel, remove,

    notwithstanding);

    words that have a negative feeling (e.g. cancel, reject).

    Negative language is hard to translate and often causesgrammatical errors. Negative language is confusing, because itis hard to think about non-existent things.

    Negative language has psychological effects that can be

    damaging in an international context. Some cultures regardnegative language as insulting, embarrassing or shameful.

    If you must use a negative word, keep that sentence extremelyshort.

    Example:The report will not be finished until late January.

    Better Version:The report will be finished in late January.

    Use modalverbs carefully

    Modal verbs suggest the mood of a verb: is this something thatmay happen, might happen, should happen, can happen, couldhappen, or will happen?Modal verbs are used casually by mother-tongue Englishspeakers. Each modal verb has several possible meanings.

    Check all sentences where you have used a modal verb. Is your

    mood absolutely clear? If not, you should rephrase thesentence.

    Examples:

    The new photocopier should arrive on Tuesday.

    They could do the following.

    Can you open a window please?

    Could you open a window please?

    Would you open a window please?

    Better Versions:

    We expect the new photocopier to arrive on Tuesday. OR

    The new photocopier must arrive on Tuesday. OR Pleaseensure that the new photocopier arrives on Tuesday.

    We believe they will do the following. OR They are legallyentitled to do the following. OR They have several options!

    Please open a window.

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    Idioms Use literal language: say exactly what you mean. Either avoididioms or explain them, because international readers ofteninterpret them literally.Idioms are common phrases, often metaphorical, that have no

    obvious logic. Everyday English is saturated with idioms:

    the tip of the iceberg

    just around the corner

    right across the spectrum

    Examples:

    Our client has been done justice to by the book.

    Now were cooking with gas.

    At the end of the day, rugby was the winner.

    Better Versions:

    Our client was treated with impeccable fairness.

    Now were advancing rapidly.

    Ultimately, the game raised the reputation of rugby.

    Use pronounscarefully

    The following pronouns can sometimes confuse internationalreaders: it, he, him, his, she, her, hers, they, them, their, theirs,this, these, that, those.

    Whenever you use one of these pronouns, check that yourmeaning is obvious. Many languages do not use pronouns, oruse different pronouns.

    Example:Although property figures may tend to make the recent

    earthquake appear to be a relatively minor event economicallyspeaking, other data suggest that its impact in the medium termmight be significant.

    Better Version:Property loss figures suggest the recent earthquake will haverelatively minor economic effects. However, other data suggest

    that the earthquakes economic impact will be significant overthe next five to ten years.

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    C.12. Check spelling and grammar

    Incorrect grammar and punctuation can make your writing harder to read than necessary and

    confuse your reader. Your reader will be frustrated having to read a passage several times to

    make sense of it because the punctuation or grammar is poor.

    Spelling Use a spell-checker or a dictionary. Remember that a spell-

    checker only checks spelling, but not meaning.

    e.g. The Director-General wants everyone to reduce their waste,

    is different to The Director-General wants everyone to reduce

    their waist.

    Grammar Re-read your text and check that it does not contain errors, for

    example:

    - missing articles:

    Example: She/he is tax inspector.

    - incorrect verb tense:

    Example: I am working for DG TAXUD. (when this is not a

    temporary situation)

    - an incorrect use of prepositions:

    Example: I have been working for DG ENV since two weeks!

    If in doubt, first check the Inter-Institutional Style Guide and then

    refer to a current grammar textbook22.

    22John SEELY, Oxford A-Z of Grammar and Punctuation, OUP Oxford, 2007

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    C.13. Check punctuation and capitalisation

    Use punctuation and capital letters correctly.

    Punctuation isan aid to meaning Punctuation is an aid to meaning. It can also change meaning.Compare:

    The participants who backed the proposal are pleased with the

    results.

    With:

    The participants, who backed the proposal, are pleased with the

    results.

    Or

    A woman without her man is nothing.

    With

    A woman: without her, man is nothing.

    Commas can be particularly tricky:

    - The comma separates the elements in a list, when they

    are not connected by "and", "or", "nor".Your text will be linguistically correct if you check the spelling,grammar and punctuation.

    - The comma can also mark a subordinate clause.The writer, having finished the first draft, will closely read itagain.

    - It can never separate the subject of the verb nor it of its

    complements.

    Capital letters Take care to use the capital letters correctly. In English, proper

    nouns such as the names of institutions are capitalised. If in

    doubt, refer to the Inter-Institutional Style Guide23.

    Examples:

    - the European Commission;- the European Parliament;

    - the French Community of Belgium;- the higher Council of French language;- the national Centre of scientific research.

    23http://publications.europa.eu/code/en/en-4100400en.htm.

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    Third step: RevisePage layout Having finished writing, look at your text at arms length and judge if

    the layout:

    - is attractive (D.1. sheet);

    - makes it easy for the reader to find his way around your

    document (D.2. sheet).

    Re-read Reread your document making sure you have used all the

    techniques covered (D.3. sheet).

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    D.1. Hallmarks of good layout

    Make it easy to

    skim and scan

    Your reader has to be able:

    1. understand your main points quickly;2. find any information he/she wants easily.

    Layout should

    enhance your

    document

    headings

    whitespace

    Plenty of white space is important.

    1. add subtitles and numbers to long documents;

    2. separate your paragraphs with several returns;3. use lists, using bullets or dashes.

    formatting Use intelligent, consistent formatting:

    1. bold for key words;2. few different fonts (maximum 2 per text);

    3. follow page-setting and style sheets specific to yourorganisation.

    graphs,tables

    Add interest to your document with illustrations, if appropriate:graphs, tables, illustrations, photographs.

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    D.2. A method to make a document easier to read, understand andrecall

    Try modular

    writing

    Modular writing (also called "block writing") uses the Mapping

    Information

    24

    method.- Mapping Information (IMAP) is a standardised method of

    analysis, organisation and presentation of information.

    - It is based on the way the brain collects and memorisesinformation.

    Present your

    information in

    modules

    The method organises information in smaller and easily locatable

    units. It is appropriate for long professional documents25, in

    particular for texts on the Web.

    Moreover, it makes it easier for:1. the writer to develop and revise documents;2. the reader to read and find information.

    This manual is

    an example of

    modular writing

    The writing and layout of this manual was based, in part, on IMAP

    techniques:

    1. one subject and supporting information per page;2. descriptive title (often a question which prepares the mind);

    3. meaningful subtitles (left-hand column);4. each sheet is divided into smaller units (frameworks);

    5. written in short, active sentences, addressed directly to thereader;

    6. visual references: numbered lists, key words in bold.

    24See a description of this method and examples of its positive results at: http://www.infomap.com 25Such as: reports, minutes of meetings, information notes, summary notes

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    D.3. What personal impression will I leave?

    Re-read! Your professional writing conveys your own brand image as well as

    that of your organisation.

    Make sure you are projecting the best image possible. When you re-

    read, do it through the eyes of your reader.

    Tips for re-

    reading

    What can you do to make your revising more effective?

    1. Do not revise straight after writing. Do something else for awhile and revise later, when you can look at your document with

    fresh eyes.

    2. Read your document on paper instead of on screen.3. Read it aloud, sentence by sentence.4. Ask someone else to read it.

    Check the

    readability of

    your text

    1. Apply the "visual test": look at your text from a distance: is itattractive?

    2. Apply the "auditory test": read your text aloud: does it readeasily?

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    Conclusion develop your skillChecklist: How to check the effectiveness of my text?

    !

    A. PREPARATION

    A.1. Did I fully analyse the topic (mind-mapping, 7 Questions)?

    A.2. Is my objective clear?

    A.3. Did I consider my reader?

    A.4. Did I organise and outline my ideas?

    A.5. Does my structure emphasize whats important?

    A.6. Is my structure persuasive?

    A.7. Is my request for change be positively framed?

    B. WRITE

    B.1. Have I used clear words? Have I mostly used the active voice?

    B.2. Are my sentences short and well-constructed?

    B. 3. Are my sentences and paragraphs logically connected?

    B. 4. Is my text structured: introduction, paragraphs, conclusion?

    B. 5. Am I concise? Did I get rid of unnecessary words?

    B. 6. Did I use vocabulary appropriate for my reader?

    B. 7. Have I used positive language?

    B. 8. Did I speak directly to my reader?

    B. 9. Have I been diplomatic (polite)?

    B.10. Have I adapted my language and style for a multi-cultural readership?

    B.11 Have I used appropriate fixed expressions?

    B.12. Is my writing correct (spelling and grammar)?

    B 13. Have I used punctuation and capitals correctly?

    C. AFTER HAVING WRITTEN

    C.1. Is my document attractive to look at?

    C.2. Does my layout facilitate rapid scanning and skimming?

    C.3. Have I re-read the document myself? Has it passed the visual and auditory tests?

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    Annex 1. Formulas for letters and e-mail, in French and English

    Relationship

    formal to informal

    Formulas in French Formulas in English

    (British)

    Formulas in your

    language

    Formal relation with animmediate superior

    Madame la Directrice, Dear Sir, Dear Madam,

    Je vous prie dagrer,

    Madame la Directrice,

    lexpression de ma haute

    considration.

    Yours faithfully ,

    Formal relation with

    somebody that one does

    not know (an institution

    or an administration for

    example)

    Madame, Monsieur, Dear Sir or Madam,

    Salutations distingues, Yours faithfully ,

    Formal relation withsomebody whose name

    you know

    Madame,Monsieur,

    Dear Ms Smith, Dear MrBrown,

    Sincres salutations, Yours sincerely,

    Relatively formal relation

    with somebody you

    know personally

    Chre Madame,

    Cher Monsieur,

    Dear Ms Smith, Dear Mr

    Brown,

    Cordialement,

    Bien vous,

    Yours sincerely,

    Impersonal relation and

    most standard formulas

    Bonjour, Peter,

    Cordialement, Regards,

    Informal relation Bonjour Pierre, Hi Peter,

    Cordialement,

    Bien toi,

    Regards,

    Informal relation with

    somebody you know

    quite well

    Chre Marie, Dear Mary, Hello Mary,

    Trs cordialement,

    Amicalement,

    Kind regards, Best

    regards,

    In a group Chers collaborateurs,

    Bonjour tous,

    Dear colleagues, Dear

    all,

    Cordialement, Kind regards, Best

    regards,

    Other formulas Je vous remercie de

    votre collaboration.

    Thanks for your help.

    Davance, merci. Thanks in advance.

    Bon travail,

    Bonne journe,

    Many thanks,

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    Annex 2. A before-after example of clear writing

    Below is a before-and-after example of clear writing. Which text do you think is the mostreadable and most effective ?

    BEFORE :

    Subject: Promotion of the European Business Test Panel (EBTP) to your members

    Dear Sir,

    We would like to draw your attention to the existence of the European Business Test Panel(EBTP) managed by the INTERNAL Market and Services DG of the European Commission,

    which would be likely to interest the members of your organisation.

    Created in 2003, the European Business Test Panel (EBTP) is a consultation tool, consisting ofcompanies of various sizes, working in various sectors and located in all the Member States ofthe Union, and that are willing to periodically answer electronically delivered questionnaires,requiring only 15 to 20 maximum minutes to be supplemented.

    The Commission aims to start three to eight maximum consultations a year, covering questions,both general and specific, likely to have significant impacts on the European companies. On the

    basis of the relevance of the consultation, companies can choose not to answer, if the subjectdoes not interest them. Participation in the EBTP is carried out on an entirely voluntary basis atall levels. As from the confirmation of their membership of the panel, companies will be invited tofill out questionnaires for the next consultations. There is nevertheless no obligation to do so.

    The panel is consulted at various legislative proposal preparation stages at the level of theCommission. The results of a consultation can be used in impact study and evaluationprocedures. In other cases, results are, for example, used by employees to determinecommunication strategies.

    The driving factor of the EBTP is that, in the consultation strategy of the Commission, the data

    provided by the various companies can inform the decision-making process at European level.To stimulate the participation of the companies of all sizes and of all sectors in all the MemberStates, questionnaires are translated into all the official languages of the European Union.

    The panel was consulted recently on the question of "Flexicurity". A consultation on the fightagainst discrimination was very recently launched to evaluate the need to have additional

    legislation introduced at European level.

    The next consultations envisaged will cover SEPA (single euro payments area) and theEuropean Private Company statute (EPC). In the first case, the panel will be invited to provide

    the data which will be entered into the communication strategy that the European Central Bankwill define for SEPA. In the second case, the Commission aims to find an evidence to determine

    the advantages of an EPC.

    Consultations on Solvit and the green industrial policy are being studied, at present.

    Consequently, we would like to know if you would be interested to inform your members aboutthe EBTP.

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    Parallel to our contact persons at the national level in all the European Member States (as wellas Iceland and Norway), we promote the EBTP to encourage companies to subscribe and take

    part in the consultations.

    For example, a meeting about the EBTP was organised on 29 March this year by M. , nationalcoordinator of the EBTP for France. This meeting, during which M. from the INTERNAL Marketand Services DG presented the issues of the panel and which took place on very positive note,

    allowed to bring together some representatives of professional organisations including yourcollaborator, Mrs.

    In order to develop our initiative, we would like to know if the MEDEF organises

    events/conferences during which information booklets on the EBTP could be distributed to yourmembers.

    In addition, we would like to know if information on the EBTP could be inserted in the Internet site

    of your organisation. We note that your organisation links to Solvit, with whom we work in closecooperation, for the promotion of our respective projects in the companies.

    For additional information, we ask you to consult our web site: http://ec.europa.eu/yourvoice/ebtp.

    We also request that you contact M. (Tel.:) or ourselves for any additional information that you

    would like to obtain concerning our requests.

    We trust that our initiative will be worthy of your complete attention.

    [ signature ]

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    AFTER:

    Subject:Promotion of the European Business Test Panel (EBTP) to your members

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    Are you aware of the EBTP, European Business Test Panel, a European Commission initiative?We thought that this tool might interest the members of your organisation: please find, below, more

    information about this tool.

    1/What is the European Business Test Panel (EBTP)?

    The EBTP consults member companies at various preparation stages of legislative proposals prepared by

    the Commission. The EBTP is composed of companies:

    - of all sizes,- working in various sectors,- located in all the Member States of the European Union,- willing to regularly answer questionnaires via the Internet.

    2/How does the EBTP work?

    On voluntary basis, member companies are invited to take part, via Internet, in a maximum of 8 consultations

    a year.

    To encourage participation, the questionnaires:

    - are translated into all the official languages of the European Union;- can be answered in only 15 to 20 minutes.

    3/What topics are discussed in the consultations?

    The topics cover both specific and general issues, likely to have important effects on European companies,such as:

    - flexicurity,

    - discrimination,- SEPA (single euro payment area),

    - EPC (European private company statute),- green industrial policy.

    4/What is the purpose of the EBTP?

    The results of a consultation can be used in impact and evaluation procedures. For example, theconsultation on discrimination was launched to evaluate the need to have additional legislation at European

    level.

    The results may also be used in the definition of communication strategies as in the data provided by themembers of the panel during the SEPA became part of the communication strategy, defined by the European

    Central Bank for SEPA.

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    5/How to become a member of the EBTP?

    Companies wishing to join the panel can complete a registration form available on:http://ec.europa.eu/yourvoice/ipm/forms/dispatch?form=250&lang=fr

    Membership is free.

    After the membership application is processed, companies will be invited to fill out questionnaires for the next

    consultations.

    Please let us know if:

    - you think your members would be interested to know more about the EBTP;- you can include information about the EBTP on your organisation web site;- you will soon be organising event/conferences where information about the EBTP could be

    distributed to your members.

    More information about the EBTP is available from our web site: http://ec.europa.eu/yourvoice/ebtp.

    And please, feel free to contact us on......... if you would prefer to talk directly to one of our team.

    Yours faithfully,[ signature ]

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    Useful Words Tips for Writing in Modern Business English

    Linking Words

    To Add: and, again, and then, besides, equally important, finally, further,furthermore, nor, too, next, lastly, what's more, moreover, inaddition, firstly (secondly, etc.)

    To Compare: whereas, but, yet, on the other hand, however, nevertheless, on theother hand, on the contrary, by comparison, where, compared to, upagainst, balanced against, vis--vis, but, although, conversely,meanwhile, after all, in contrast, although this may be true

    To Prove: because, for, since, for the same reason, obviously, evidently,furthermore, moreover, besides, indeed, in fact, in addition, in anycase, that is

    To Show

    Exception:

    yet, still, however, nevertheless, in spite of, despite, of course, once

    in a while, sometimes

    To Show Time: immediately, thereafter, soon, after a few hours, finally, then, later,previously, formerly, first (second, etc.), next, and then

    To Repeat: in brief, as I have said, as I have noted, as has been noted

    To Emphasise: definitely, extremely, obviously, in fact, indeed, in any case,absolutely, positively, naturally, surprisingly, always, forever,perennially, eternally, never, emphatically, unquestionably, without adoubt, certainly, undeniably, without reservation

    To ShowSequence:

    first, second, third, and so forth. A, B, C, and so forth. next, then,following this, at this time, now, at this point, after, afterward,subsequently, finally, consequently, previously, before this,simultaneously, concurrently, thus, therefore, hence, next, and then,

    soon

    To Give anExample:

    for example, for instance, in this case, in another case, on thisoccasion, in this situation, take the case of, to demonstrate, to

    illustrate, as an illustration, to illustrate

    To Summariseor Conclude:

    in brief, on the whole, summing up, to conclude, in conclusion, as Ihave shown, as I have said, hence, therefore, accordingly, thus, as aresult, consequently, on the whole

    ... ...

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    Phrases to

    Avoid

    The reason forFor the reason thatOwing/due to the fact that

    In light of the fact thatConsidering the fact thatOn the grounds thatThis is why

    = because, since, why, as

    On the occasion ofIn a situation in whichUnder circumstances in which

    = when

    As regardsIn reference to

    With regard toConcerning the matter ofWhere x is concerned

    = about

    It is crucial thatIt is necessary thatThere is a need/necessity forIt is important thatCannot be avoided

    = must, should

    Is able to

    Has the opportunity toHas the capacity toHas the ability to

    = can

    It is possible thatThere is a chance thatIt could happen thatThe possibility exists for

    = may, might, could

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    Simplify yourexpressions

    Avoid: Use:

    along the lines ofas a consequence of

    as of the date ofas regards

    by means ofcosts the sum ofdespite the fact thatdocumentationduring which time

    for the duration offor the purpose of

    for the reason thathereunder

    if and when

    in accordance within excess ofin relation toin the absence ofin the event of/that

    in the majority of instancesin the neighbourhood of

    in view of the fact thatincorporatingis of the opinionmay in the futuremoreover

    notwithstandingoccasioned by

    on behalf ofon the grounds thaton the occasion thatotherwise

    owing toperusepredominantprovided that

    pursuant to

    said/such/samesubject tosubsequent to/uponthat being the casethe question as to whetheruntil such time

    whatsoeverwith a view to

    with effect from

    such as, as inbecause

    fromabout, on the subject of

    bycoststhough, althoughpapers, documentswhile

    during, whileto, for

    becausebelow

    if, when (but not both)

    in line with, because ofmore thanaboutwithoutif

    most, mostlyabout, around

    as, becausewhich includesthinksmay, might, couldand, also, as well

    even if, despite, still, yetcaused by, because of

    forbecausewhenor

    because ofread, read carefully, look atmainif, as long as

    under, because of, in line with

    the/this/thatdepending on, under, keeping toafterif sowhetheruntil

    whatever, what, anyto, so that

    from

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    Formal Tone

    How formal? Generally, avoid using the well-worn, stock fixedexpressions which tend to weigh down a text and make itboring and unoriginal, e.g. : I would be grateful if you, I havethe honour, etc.However, in certain situations, you cannot avoid using theseexpressions which give a formal tone to administrative text.You will need to use your judgement.

    Get rid ofoutdated fixedexpressions

    You can often remove these fixed expressions withoutchanging meaning or tone. These expressions add nothingto your writing. Try leaving them out.

    a total of

    absolutelyabundantlyactuallyall things being equalas a matter of factas far as I am concernedat the end of the dayat this moment in timebasicallycurrentcurrently

    during the period fromeach and every oneexistingextremelyI am of the opinion thatI would like to sayI would like to take thisopportunity to

    in due course

    in the endin the final analysisin this connectionin totalin view of the fact thatit should be understoodlast but not leastobviouslyof courseother things being equalquite

    reallyreally quiteregarding the (noun), it wasthe fact of the matter isthe month(s) ofto all intents and purposesto ones own mindvery

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    Useful Phrases

    Introducing /referring to

    Following!With reference to!

    In referring to your note!

    In reply to!I acknowledge receipt of!During our telephone conversation on + date,!Following our telephone conversation on + date!On + date!, you informed me that!Thank you for bringing (!) to my/our attention (!)In bringing the following (question/matter) to me/us, !

    Indirect phrasesIt has been brought to my attention that!

    It has been reported in Parliament that!

    Events - Consequences

    The incident which happened on + date at/in!hasdemonstrated the need to!

    Recent events which happened at/in!.have brought tolight/shown the need for!

    A significant (or major) problem has been reported to us

    concerning!

    SendingInformation

    Please find enclosed!Please find attached!You will find enclosed!I have taken this opportunity to send/forward to you!

    Requesting Please + verb (instruction/authoritative)Can you please + verb

    !

    ?Would/could you + verb!?I would be grateful if you would/could + verb!I would like to ask you to + verb!Is it possible for you to + verb!?Would it be possible for you to!?

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    Setting outfacts / reasons

    I/We note I/We observe I/We ascertain I/We consider!It appears/seems (that)!I would like to draw your attention to!/ I would like to bring toyour attention!/ I would like to show (you)!/ I would like todemonstrate (how)!I would like to present (a problem)I would like to propose/suggest (a solution)It is important to + verb

    !

    It would be useful to + verb!

    I think it is necessary to remind you that!

    Insisting I would like to underline!I must underline the fact that!Allow me to state that!I would like to state that!I would like to refer back to the points mentioned!I would like to remind you that!

    It is important to remember!

    Confirming I take note of your wish/decision to!I/We hereby take note of your wish to !I/We have taken note of!I/We would like to confirm !I/We are unable to!It is/will be part of your (responsibility) to!

    Justifying /Explaining By virtue of!In accordance with!

    With regard to!Regarding/concerning!Taking!into account,!Given that!Seeing that!

    Conditions In the case of!If!

    Supposing that!

    Failing!

    The finish Please do not hesitate to contact me/us, should you requireany further information.Thanking you in advance for your (assistance)If you would like further information, please contact me/us on(telephone number/e-mail ).

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    BibliographyGrammar and Writing

    Strunk and White, The Elements of Style, Longman, 2000

    Zinsser, On Writing Well, Collins, 2006

    Presentation Skills

    Leeds, Power Speak, Piatkus, 1990

    Reynolds, Presentation Zen, New Riders, 2008

    Drafting in the European institutions

    - Inter-institutional Style Guide, European Communities; The Guide is on-line at thefollowing address: http://publications.europa.eu/code/en/en-000100.htm

    - Joint Practical Guide of the European Parliament, the Council and the Commission forpersons involved in the drafting of legislation within the Community Institutions,

    http://europa.eu/eur-lex/en/about/techleg/guide/index_en.htm

    - Fight the fog: how to write clearly, DG Translation of the European Commission:http://ec.europa.eu/translation/writing/clear_writing/fight_the_fog_en.pdf

    - Translation aids on Europa: http://ec.europa.eu/translation/language_aids/english_en.htm

    Other Web Resources

    - British National Corpus (BNC).A corpus is a collection of samples of written and spokenlanguage. Type in the word or phrase youre interested in, and youll get a list of instances

    headed by a note of the total frequency of the word or phrase useful for deciding which word or

    phrase is more familiar ad so better to use in your document. http://www.natcorp.ox.ac.uk/

    - Global Language Monitor.A company that documents, analyses and tracks trends inlanguage use worldwide. http://www.languagemonitor.com

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    ExercisesExercise 1 :Eurospeak & false friends

    1. The Administrative Assistant convoked us to a training course.

    2. Please find in attach the relevant documents.

    3. Todays training action is designed to introduce you to the work of DGX.

    4. The Commission will launch an action to tell citizens about the new border arrangements.

    5. Your affectation to DGX will take effect on April 1st.

    6. Delegations will find annexed a copy of the report.

    7. You may send your candidature to DGX.

    8. Controls of budget spending are made by the Court of Auditors.

    9. A note was diffused to the DGX correspondents in the Member States.

    10. EMSA disposes of a large budget.

    11. Budget engagements came to 3 million.

    12. Send your eventual comments on this guide to Unit Y.

    13. The evolution of this matter will be watched with interest.

    14. The programme will be executed in three stages.

    15. The Chair exposed the difficult situation.

    16. Schemes in favour of refugees will be launched next year.

    17. Globally, delegates were satisfied with the meeting.

    18. Ms X asked of EMSA would be implicated in the exercise.

    19. Unfortunately, the Head of Unit could not assist the meeting.

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    20. Lastly, the conditions were accepted.

    21. The assessment showed the country had good perspectives.

    22. The inspectors are responsible for carrying out controls.

    23. Lastly, the conditions were accepted.

    24. An eventual delay could damage the agreement reached.

    25. The annexes can be found behind the document.

    26. Please could you remember all staff that badges must be displayed on entry.

    27. The meeting was sensible and needed to be reported until next week.

    28. She/he summarised the meeting shortly.

    29. In case visitors do not have identification, they will not be granted.

    30. Please join a copy of your CV.

    31. An important sum of money has been earmarked for Y.

    32. The financial package was not very interesting.

    33. The Chair thanked Mr S for his intervention and concluded the meeting.

    34. The Director will normally come to todays meeting.

    35. We must follow the orientations set out in the strategy paper.

    36. I have resumed the main points in the meeting.

    37. The matter is being dealt with by our services.

    38. Unfortunately, the Head of Unit could not assist the meeting.

    39. I constat that electricity consumption is high.

    40. I have a proposition to make.

    41. I would like to verify the figures in the report.

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    Exercise2 Passive voice

    1. The following study was undertaken to develop a working basis for the restructuring of the

    Accounts Department filing system.

    2. A number of things are indicated by these results.

    3. Heart disease is considered the leading cause of death in the United States.

    4. The balloon is positioned in an area of blockage and is inflated.

    5. The meetings were held by the Ministers at the European Commission in Brussels.

    6. These rooms were booked by the Unit Secretary six months ago.

    7. The guest speakers will be invited by ECHA to evaluate the scientific risks.

    8. It was decided by the Committee to hold the conference at an external venue, where the

    catering would be provided by the hotel.

    9. It was felt by the Project Team that the risk to the project success identified by theResearchers was enough to jeopardise funding.

    10. When the application has been completed by you, it must be returned by registered post tothe address indicated by the Unit Head.

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    Exercise 3 Modifying Clauses

    1. The review, which was recently published, numbered 200 pages.

    2. The procedure, that is currently in place, is too long and exclusive to be effective.

    3. The canteen, that was recently opened, is not effective.

    4. The member state that shows the highest ratings, will host the event.

    5. The Treaty, which was recently signed, provides for emergency aid.

    6. The new pension plan will not affect members of staff who have seniority.

    7. The candidate who is applying for the post has many years of experience.

    8. The case has been brought before the judge who was presiding.

    9. Matters which have to do with finance must be submitted to the Auditors.

    10. The report which was published in 2009 contained details of European Aid to Africa.