Clear and Effective Writing:

Parallelism and Consistency• Parallelism-when a writer expresses

ideas of equal worth with the same grammatical form

• Contributes to ease in reading by making ideas that are parallel in meaning parallel in structure

• I like to swim, dance, and having fun• I like to swim, dance, and have fun.

Parallelism • Similar grammatical elements need to be

balanced-nouns with nouns, phrases with phrases, clauses with clauses

• Words and phrases- She had no time to be human, no time to be happy. 

• Clauses -I remember Iyakitu’s sister, Sun Woman, who held so many things in her bundle, who went away to the east.

• Sentences-When I breathed in, I squeaked. When I breathed out, I rattled

Parallelism • Parallels need to be clear-repeating a

preposition, an article, or introductory word, phrase, or clause, can make the structure clear.

• Ex. I was happy in the thought that our influence was helpful and that I was doing the

work I loved.• Correlative conjunctions(either or, neither nor,

{not only}but also) must be used together to maintain parallel structure

• The team not only practices at 6am during the week, but also scrimmages on Sunday afternoons.

Consistency• Maintaining consistency from the beginning

of a piece of writing to the end in: • Consistent tense, mood, and person• Ex. Aro believed in nuclear power while

Jane believed in solar power.• Ex. She is as beautiful as the most radiant

sunrise over the ocean and as comfortable as the warmth of a summer evening breeze. NOT-and as comfortable as my father’s ratty blue sweatshirt.

Consistency • Consistent person and number• Ex. If one is going to improve, one should

work harder.• Ex. One take a huge risk by believing in

that guy. • Consistent tone and style• Ex. It seemed to Romeo, as he gazed upon

the balcony, that Juliet’s face was as white as a lily. (not as the underbelly of a fish)

Consistency • Consistent perspective and viewpoint• Ex. Standing in the valley, I could see

our troops at the crest of the hill, and later, standing on the other side of the ridge, I could see the enemy in full retreat.

• Ex. Walking away she smiled and waved; she walks away and trips and fell.

Pronoun Reference

• Pronouns refer to the nouns IMMEDIATELY preceding them

• When a pronoun could refer to two possible antecedents (the noun which has been replaced), the reader is confused. Replace one with a noun.

• Ex. Juan told Pedro that he had made a mistake. or In talking with Peter, Juan admitted he had made a mistake.

Pronoun Reference• If a pronoun is too far away from its

antecedent, the reader may have to backtrack to get its meaning. Rewrite the sentence to bring them closer together.

• Ex. The glow was enough to read by, even though it was still dark, my eyes adjusted to it. (The darkness or the glow?)

• Be SPECIFIC ex. The glow was enough to read by, once my eyes adjusted to it. (it refers to glow)

• Ex. Still he could not have been more than one year older than him.

Active v. Passive Voice

ACTIVE VOICE sentences-the subject performs the action and the object is the recipient of the action. Follows the subject-verb-object pattern.

Ex. Jill kicked Jack. or Marsha lies to others often.

Reasons to use active voice: • 1.  The active voice is shorter • 2.   More direct • 3.   Moves the writing forward

Examples

• A: The waiter dropped the tray of food.

• P: The tray of food was dropped by the waiter.

• P: Your request for funding has been denied by the committee.

• A: The committee denied your request for funding.

Passive Voice

• PASSIVE VOICE sentences-the subject and the object flip-flop. The subject becomes the passive recipient of the action.

• Jack was killed by Jill.• Others are often lied to by Marsha. – Use the passive voice purposefully

Passive Voice

Reasons to use passive voice: The doer of the action is unimportant (The pyramids were built thousands of years ago.)

The doer is unknown (Several robberies were committed last night.)

The writer desires to control the focus of the sentence (The alarm was triggered by my son) or (Jack was kicked by Jill.)

Passive Voice

WAYS TO SPOT PASSIVE SENTENCES: A. Passive voice requires a “double verb” and will always contain a form of to be and the past participle (usu. ending in en/ed/t form) of another verb.

• Is kicked------had been kicked• Was kicked-----is going to be kicked

• Has been kicked----can be kicked

Passive Voice

B. Passive voice sentences often contain a “by” phrase to indicate who or what preformed the action.

• PASSIVE: The cookies were eaten by the children.

• ACTIVE: The children ate the cookies.

• PASSIVE: The tunnels are dug by the gophers.

• ACTIVE: The gophers dug the tunnels.

ExamplesPassive or Active?

1.  Children cannot open these bottles easily.2.  My car is in the garage being fixed by a lazy mechanic.

3.  My son ate all of the homemade cookies.4.  The statue is being visited by hundreds of tourists each year.

5.  The party will celebrate his retirement.6.   Coffee is raised in many parts of Hawaii by plantation workers.

7.   Corrosion had damaged the hull of the ship.