CHURCH OF THE FYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER There are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. Many people around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD I KNOW? We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence.

SCIENTIFIC PROOF He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example,

a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 had decayed by electron emission to Nitorgen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of Course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

MORE PROOF WITH A GRAPH!! You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. The graph above shows the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a

statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN We are sure you now realize how important it is that this alternate theory is spread. It is absolutely imperative that everyone realizes that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as we have run out of space. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

CONCLUSION Thank you for taking the time to read about our views and beliefs. We hope this was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to our children and to everyone. We can all look forward to the time when the three theories of creation are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Why You Should Convert to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism

Flimsy Moral Standards

Every Friday is a religious holiday

Our heaven is WAY better. We’ve got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano

Smart People Who Agree With Us

“One of the most exciting developments in physics recently is so-called ‘String Theory”, in which all sub-atomic particles are described as microscopic vibrating strings. Obviously this Is correct, though misnamed. As NOODLE Theory reveals, He has created the matter in the universe in His own quivering image! You, me, the Earth, the stars…are all built of trillions of tiny jiggling noodles, microscopic copies of our Diving Saucy Maker. Boy-oh-Boyardi and Ramen! ---Steve Lawrence, PhD

“Having now perused the many facets of Pastafarianism, I believe that there is great scope for women in this religion. Clearly the FSM has aspects of both male and female, with both ‘noodly appendages’ and two round meatballs which clearly represent the Breasts of the Great Mother Goddess.—Susan Johnston, PhD

“As a neuroscientist and clinical psychologist, I have often been struck by how the brain resembles pasta. Clearly, the FSM theory is worthy of deep thought. Or at least a side order of garlic toast. Which is more than I can say about ID, which, as St. Sigmund taught, should be subservient to

EGO (Equally Goofy Observations).” –James Blackburn, PhD

The Ontological Argument for FMS

P1. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a being which has every perfection

P2. Existence is a perfection.

C. Therefore, the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists.

“Pastafarianism does not constitute a scientific theory, despite its apparent adherence to Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle regarding the interactions of observer and observed. It should not be taught as science…unless, of course, ID creationism is also taught as science, in which case all bets are off. Best of luck, I’m off to The Old Spaghetti Factory for worship.”—E. Scott

www.venganza.org

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Excerpted from Bobby Henderson’s open letter to the Kansas School Board.

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution…

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10

million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; one third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

For more information and to learn how you can help, please go to www.venganza.org

WHAT THE EXPERTS ARE SAYING

“As a scientist, I'd like to say that the currently accepted scientific theory is evolution. But, some competing ideas have been proposed, such as ID and FSMism, and discussion to include one should include the other, as these ideas are equally valid.” —Mark Zurbuchen, Ph.D. “It seems to me the FSM theory is MUCH more plausible than the non-FSM ID theory, because it is the only one of the two that takes into account all the discrepancies between ID and measurable objective reality." —Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph.D “All points of view should be available to students studying the origins of mankind.” —Senator John McCain “[Evolution] is not a fact . . . We're dealing with censorship here. If we only taught Shakespeare in English class, that wouldn't be fair.” —Senator Chris Buttars “At one time, I believed as the Aztecs did, that the universe was created by two gods, Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca who attacked and ripped apart Hungry Woman to create the universe. Then I believed, as the Moriori do, that the universe was created when Papa and her husband Rangi hugged and bore children … However, my views have been swayed by … the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM). I am firmly convinced that the evidence … has many of the trappings of science, and I therefore support the inclusion of FSM creation evidence in the Kansas science curriculum and standards.” —Sebastian Wren, Ph.D

“MMMMMmmmmm, spaghetti” —H. Neville, Ph.D.

WHY YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM

Flimsy moral standards.

Every Friday is a religious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.

Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.

We are all His creatures

How was the universe created?

What is the origin of species?

Why does empirical evidence seem to support theories like evolution, gravity, and quantum mechanics?

Why has the earth seen an increase in global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters since the 1800s?

What’s with the full pirate regalia?

Open up for the answers to these questions and more!