Chicago May - A Love Poem

8/9/2019 Chicago May - A Love Poem

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Chicago May

A Love Poem

Aleister Crowley

The possessor of this copy is earnestly requested to retain the same under lock andkey, and in nowise to part with it until the year 1964

1914

Privately Printed

Price Five Guineas

To ustin !arrison

CHICAGO MAY

PART I — ROME

Decemer

I

This is my hour of peace" the #reat sow snores,

$lowin# out spittle throu#h her %lu%%er lips,

&hampa#ne and lust still oo'in# from the pores

(f her fat )anks" then, let my hate eclipse

ll other lamps of my pale soul, and )are*

curst star sparkin# in the stran#led air+

!er shapeless lim%s are sticky with stale sweat"

et, she would wake if - withdrew, %elch hard

The ferments of the fodder, turn, and fret

This inch that is the ruins of a yard.

-s there no sparrow, ram, ass, %ull can stay

The /love0*dear esus+*of &hica#o 2ay3

II

ike salt pools in a marsh her skin is, soiled


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5ith la%ours and a%ortions, stained and red

5ith her low %irth and her hi#h feedin#, spoiled

5ith moles and wens, and fat, fat, fat. To

From runs this one tale of lust and #reed7*

nd yet you think men love you. ove, indeed+

ie still, lie still, and let my heart run on

From hate to*love. - name the one pure word

That she %lasphemes" her life8s atyricon

5ould taint all speech+ et /love,0 o%scenely purred

From whiskered lips, still sends my spirit home

To God from all this miry martyrdom.

There is a woman, true, fair, wise, and youn#,

!er soul one )ame for art and son#, her soul

Pure as the trillin# musick of her ton#ue,

!er heart one )ame*for me. The sin#le #oal

(f this #reat pur#atory of mine is she.

God #rant her hope to her, and mine to me+

:;

Thou all


3/27

5hich is the all, and more, to me+

This is my #rief" nor God, nor man

&ares what thin# earthly may %efall.

True self conceives a su%tler plan,

>or heeds the chan#es in the ll.

True self is to all life immune

s is the sun8s self to the moon.

et this, that is not love, corrodes

That self, or clouds it. ead me far

From earth to the unmoved a%odes

That lie %eyond the utmost star+

h, no+ the martyr asks his ord

For martyrdom as his reward.

Give me my pain, and let me keep

2y love+ - have no fear to lose

2y hate7 5hile now she lies asleep,

- have one moment8s power to choose.

- choose the cross. 2y love shall #ain

The price of all my udas


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(f any li#ht dares %reak on its supreme

nnihilation of all less desires,

(ne dark ?re that a%sor%s all shinin# ?res.

o - lie still, and hate, and hate, and hate

This #u''lin# sow with the loose %ul#in# %elly

nd sa##in# teats, whom fate has made my mate,

This itchin# mass of nastiness, this =elly

That sets all loathin# tin#lin# throu#h my spine,

This hate, hate, hate of this /#ood luck0 of mine+

I!

Good luck+ God save us+ -s there one thin# worth

Gold %uys3 ou %ou#ht love" here8s the #oods+ For health,

ook at the plou#hman toilin# in the earth+

@isease and hatred won you %y your wealth,

nd scorn*foul scorn*even from the tipsy knaves

ou )in# your dollars to, and think them slaves+

Aach one of all the ma##ots that swarm round

our swollen carcass knows eBactly that"

5hat is too rotten, what is fairly sound,

!ow much is )esh, and how much more is fat.

>ot one thinks otherwise than /!ere is meat7

God sends !is ma##ots carrion to eat.0

>ot one conceives you otherwise. nd you,


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/2ake me a %a%y+0 2ay a cancer #naw

our wom%+ dropsy make your %elly %urst+

The word of /%a%y0 in your monstrous maw

2akes God a liar, and his &hrist accurst+

/nd am - really all your very own30

/nd do you love me for myself alone30

/nd does my darlin# love his little #irl30

(f ?ve and forty years, and ?fteen stone+

/2y love+0 /2y dove+0 /2y honey


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ou are worth huntin# Cafter allD for that,

5hile there is one fair maiden that unaided

$y this may fail to have her will of art

nd me*God %less her for her loyal heart+

2en hunt the ermine for its fur" 8tis said

ife8s pedlars all have treasure in their load"

The toad has #ot a =ewel in its head*

( &hrist of God+ - wish you were a toad+

toad is cold and clammy, it is true"

$ut you are hot and sticky, and smell too.

!III

/- thou#ht - was worth somethin#+0 es, you are"

5orth what the =eweller and the old


9/27

(f all Aarth8s hateful names - most a%hor

The name of 2ary. 8Tis a %leat. (f course

ou must %e 2ary. 5as there not one sore

God could have spared to such a willin# horse3

Turn stripes to satire+ o the only way

!as %een to cut the out, and say /2ay.0

, /the do#8s letter.0 5hy you are all 8s+

*- pray you pardon the two


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That one must leave you to a pair of #uesses.

(r, she will send me out, some time she feels

he is safe, and when my %ack is turned, she runs

Throu#h all my pockets ea#erly, and steals

Aach scrap of writin#. he was human once7

!er thirty years of whorin# have snowed under

ll traces of it" and, %y God, no wonder+

he even stole my own vile wa#e" she stole

5hat she had #iven me herself7 she took

The %ody, wants the mind, would take the soul

-f she knew any lon#er where to look.

>o, my #ood sow. ou take what you have paid for"

The other matters you were never made for.

That is her curse. he feels and knows she has

>othin# of any value, feels and knows

he is cast out for ever, cannot pass

From her own mire to my eternal snows.

he could not, would not" yet is not eBempt

From feelin# all my close


11/27

Aked out with sleep and soddenness, a mood

(f #reed, of #luttony, that no one nice

5ould di#nify with the ?ne name of vice.

Iice needs ima#ination all the time.

-t is %ecause the common pleasures pall

That man turns to monstrosity and crime.

$ut you have need of none of this at all.

ou like /what8s natural.0 i#ht7 for you, in sum,

ike >ature8s self, a%hor a vacuum+

(h, %ut there8s mind+ There8s folk that have a %rain,

That need the food of spirit and of heart.

There8s folk that need love, pity, peace" disdain

ll that lacks %eauty, passion, wit, and art.

ours is a mind that does not hesitate

To ?nd a word for such*0de#enerate.0

"III

-t poisons me to think such thou#hts7 they mar

The crystal of my or#asm of hate.

!ow can - )in# from facets as they are

The unwaverin# li#ht of it, the focussed fate3

-f - could only speak my thou#ht, its curse

5ould char you, %last you from the Eniverse.

The ache and spasm of this hate is such


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-f - had twopence, you should have it, sure"

nd - would )ee, on hy#ienic #rounds.

$ut as thin#s are, - am eBtremely poor"

- owe a matter of ?ve thousand pounds"

nd as - have a #irl to help, here #oes+

- cannot %oth help her, and help my nose.

God+ God+ God+ God+ is there no scaven#er

To cart this nastiness3 (r can there %e

>o sewer ?t to suck the corpse of her

-nto the #reat, all


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nythin# %ut to wake Cdear God, - pray+D

To the mad maulin#s of &hica#o 2ay.

PART II—LO#DO#

$a%&ary

I

nd yet - have %een faithful7 - have tried

ll a man mi#ht to wake a soul within

The la'ar life of you, sou#ht sin#le


15/27

The pure drop that - found*%ut oh+ my fate+

>o sooner starts the portent to your eyes

Than in your lust it must evaporate.

- made you think and speak pure thou#hts*%ut deed

-s smothered in your #oatishness and #reed+

- dra##ed you to the country, made you walk

nd work and wash" %ut you were too far #one.

&heese can8t %e made, - ?nd, %y churnin# chalk.

Aunuchs may safely swill satyrion.

Plaster your cancers while you can" the knife

&omes all too late to #ive a chance of life.

III

(h, %ut the soul is there+ as pure and sweet

s if you never had de?led it, pure

5ithout attaint, impecca%le, complete,

Perfect, throu#h all the a#es to endure*

h+ then - love you after all*the years

@issolved in the %lack %owl*these %itter tears+

( God+ - love you more than - love her,

$ecause you are lost, %ecause you are mere dun#.

That makes your pearl shine+ tark and sinister

The curses wither on my fro'en ton#ue7

2y God+ 2y God+ let me %e damned, me too,

$ut let me %e the means of savin# you+


16/27

ee+ what a love is child of that pure hate,

5hat hope the heritor of that despair+

ll - destroyed - save, - recreate.

5hat thin#s shall %e annihilate what were.

Avil was made that #ood mi#ht come there%y,

nd life to show us it is #ood to die+

I!

(h love+ ( love+ lost, lost %eyond all hope+

- plun#ed too deep within the mire+ - strove

To master worlds %eyond my horoscope7

- sou#ht out hate, and found it only love.

- did invoke pure scorn, and lo+ appears

The pale veiled #oddess of immortal tears.

Iile, mean, de%auched, a mass of muck you are7

8Tis you, and none %ut you, - came to save.

- leave in heaven my maiden, my sole star"

For you - #ive my #odhead to the #rave.

@un# that you are, you have #iven me the key

To &hrist8s heart*oh+ unveil the Graal for me+

5hat+ you are past redemption thief and whore3

-t is for you - must #ive up my life.

2y maid is pure and true" she needs no more.

ou are the %itch that - must make my wife.


17/27

- love her. es7 then =ust that love demands

enunciation. y+ love understands.

!

o snore, sow, snore and stink+ our kni#ht shall keep

The holy vi#il at his lady8s shrine"

nd when you wake, you shall not need to weep*

The #rin of your mouth #reets the smile of mine.

nd when you paw and claw your placid prey

-8ll satisfy your lust, &hica#o 2ay+

PART III—LA MA#CHE'er&ary

I

/Then %ram raised the knife to slay his son.0

@oes virtue %rin# a%out its own reward3

>ot every virtue, nor to every one.

-n my case, anyhow, - thank the ord

That showed me CGlory to the #reat - 2+D

thicket, and the horns of*such a ram+

:;

worn


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19/27

5ith all to loot, and nau#ht to lose.

!e failed to o#le men, %ut learnt

The art of %ilkin# whores7*

The Turks, who should have had him %urnt,

$ut threw him out of doors.

!e took the name of $ailey $ey

nd tried to %ilk &hica#o 2ay.

las+ he found her pearls were sham.

!er =ewels coloured #lass7*

$ut not until my 2ary8s lam%

!ad %een %apti'ed an ass.

$efore the %oo%y could say /knife0

!e found that 2ary was his wife+

o now %y ni#ht it8s %accarat,

$y noon it is %lackmail,

Entil some windy #randpapa

rrives to swell their sail*

com%ination #am%lin#


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22/27

To %athe our %odies in the vats of vice3

5hy is our heaven so critical a point3

5hy does life trem%le on so tense a strin#3

5hy should so rare an oil as ours anoint

The %ra'en %rows of a usurpin# kin#3

-s it not in our ri#ht that you and -,

>o more you and -, should %e some third thin#, #iven

>ot %y the Gods, nor chance, nor @estiny,

$ut*%y what That that is %eyond hell and heaven3

ost, lost, for ever lost we are" - know

>o word to answer the eternal 5hy,

>o spell that may su%due the eternal woe

That /you0 are somehow dierent from /-+0

ost, lost+ ( may not death discover spells3

!as not the spasm of dissolution charms3

&ould we not trick this trickery of hells3*

uppose we died in one another8s arms+

et us not wait for a#e to dull our eyes+

et us take death %y his %lack throat and die+

et us add murder to our mysteries,

nd face the devil to#ether, you and -+

et us ?nd hope in uttermost despair,

@eli#ht in our division, new desire

-n the %lack fate that takes us unaware,

-n death8s dark water the eternal ?re+

&ome, aylah, come, my sister and my spouse,


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$edeck yourself with nakedness, prepare

To enter the most hi#h, most holy house,

&areless what #ods or devils may %e there.

ove me+ - love you, aylah+ aylah+ mine

Thou#h time and space and force and %ein# discede,

2ine is the ma#ic that has made me thine,

2ine from su%lime unconsciousness to deed.

aylah+ oh God+ the love of my whole life,

2y life concentrated in a sin#le act,

2ore than a mistress, wilder than a wife,

5ho rati?ed our dia%olic pact3

God #rant my life and yours %e one, %e one,

(ne %eyond possi%ility, no hour

$ut %rin# to ripeness in the royal sun

ome fruit of our fecundity, some )ower

uch as no sprin# of earth or heaven can show"*

aylah+ my aylah+ aylah+ aylah+ mine

-rrevoca%ly from the hour of woe

5hen - %roke in upon the crystal shrine+

(h, never falter+ never fail+ for#et

>o second of the wonders that are past,

Foresee the #reater wonders may %e yet*

>ail ove, the on of 2an, to murder8s mast+

et us %e somethin# unachieved %efore,

omethin# intolera%le, somethin# new+

5ho was the fool that preened himself and swore


24/27

There was no further destiny to do3

5hy, every thou#ht is a new spasm of sun+

-s there a new or old in love3 5hat odds,

ince every one of us*yea, every one+*

-s %eyond dou%t the darlin# of the #ods3

5hy then, let us die youn#, let us die youn#+

&ome, aylah, - shall #et to you so soon

This a%sence, a mere miserere sun#,

eems dream. ( moon+ ( mortifyin# moon+

Huicken our love+ ( %rin# me to the hour,

2inute and second when - lose, - lose

ll that - am in one fellatriB )ower+

Time, ( the unsu%stantial+ ( the oo'e

(f nothin#ness+ &ome %rin# me to the kiss,

The comfort of thine all


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&ome, let our spirits min#le+ %odies follow

ccordin# to the #race and kindliness

(f space8s master, eus, and time8s, pollo.

- love you, aylah+ - am with you now.

(ne kiss, one kiss+ ( let us part no more+

(ne kiss, one kiss on each %eloved %row+

(ne kiss, one kiss where we have kissed %efore+

- rise, - come to you+ - come to you+

ou will %e maniac to meet with me.

- ride, - race over the %oundin# %lue7*

ou will %e there to meet me on the quay+

PART !—DOMAI#E D*HARDELOT

A+ril

The full moon, re#ent of the dunes,

hines from the sanctifyin# sea.

This ni#ht of ni#hts, this une of unes,

-s lonely as eternity.

ove, the sole su%stance that a%ides,

ei#ns on the land and the la#oon"

The driftin# sand, the chan#in# tides,

The movin# li#ht of the dead moon.

ove, the sole rock, the fort, the tower,

5hence mortal dauntless may defy

The malice of the a#e, the power

(f fate or chance or deity+


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Aven as in moonli#ht vale and hill

-n holy li#ht and holy shade

re %lest, so he that hath his will

-n the male mastery of his maid.

Translucent, all my soul is %athed

-n that clear potency and calm

wayed without wind, divinely swathed

-n silken silence %reathin# %alm.

The past is past+ the future han#s

ha'e of #rey to eastward woven,

ha'e that only %y the pan#s

(f the dawn8s %irth may yet %e cloven+

h, love+ and may the ni#ht discede3

The dawn that wakes us warn us3 >ay+

The lyre is lively as the reed,

The ni#ht less loyal than the day.

These dunes, these stars, these holy trees

That sentinel our sleep, the moan

(f the tired sea, the %irds, the %ree'e,

The moon, all these thin#s are our own.


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5e made them for our love+ our home,

(ur palace of eternal rest7*

!ere, %y the starli#ht and the foam,

Fold me, a )ower, to your %reast+

Documents

Chicago May - A Love Poem