CHAPTER 5: COMMUNICATION

Kilgore

Action

Active

Barriers

Blaming

Body language

Checking out

Communication

Compromise

WORD BANK

Learned

Mixed

Negotiation

Non verbal

Ownership

Passive

Placating

Prejudice

Receiver

Conflict

Descriptive

Distracting

Feeling

Frown

Gestures

I statements

Identify

Intention

Reflecting

Relaxed

Resolution

Self awareness

Sender

Shared

Thought

Verbal

You statements

COMMUNICATION

Communication= an exchange of information between two or

more people.

Two way process that includes sending and receiving messages.

Communicating a clear message is not always easy!

Poor communication can cause a serious misunderstanding.

May give the wrong impression.

Speaking, listening, reading, and writing are all forms of

communication.

TYPES OF COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal communication= a way of sending and receiving messages

without using words.

Includes body movements such as facial expressions, eye contact, and

gestures.

Hugging, holding hands, physically close, eye contact, body language, etc.

Verbal communication= the use of words to send and receive messages.

Sharing one’s feelings, listening, heart-to-heart talks, caring words.

Speaking and writing are forms of verbal communication.

Communication skills can be learned. As a child, you learned to

communicate by imitating sounds.

NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

At home, you often know when family

members are feeling happy, sad or angry

without a word being spoken.

Nonverbal communication helps you

understand emotions.

Be aware of the nonverbal messages you

send!

PROXIMITY

Can indicate interest & attention.

Where we sit (proximity) indicates levels of intimacy.

Moving away indicates desire to terminate conversation.

Moving closer usually one exchanges cues to avoid

chance of rejection.

Cultures differ in degree of acceptable closeness.

BODY LANGUAGE

Body language involves sending messages through body

movements.

Facial expressions, gestures, and body motions are examples

of these.

Body language can communicate different messages to

people of different cultures or backgrounds.

Non verbal messages can also reinforce or contradict what

you say.

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

Eye contact is an important part of your facial expressions.

Direct eye contact helps convey a message that you care

and are interested in what someone has to say.

Looking away when someone talks communicates that you

are not interested.

GESTURES & MOTIONS

Gestures may help emphasize spoken words so that others

understand the meaning.

The way you sit, stand, or walk while communicating also

sends a message.

Crossing your arms sets up a barrier to communication.

Good posture shows confidence.

A warm hug communicates affection!

Disclose less personal info

Safer topics like sports or

work.

More profanity & harsh words.

More dominating of

conversation.

Traditional roles inhibit

communication.

Smile more, more emotional, claim less

space, more eye contact.

Wives send clearer messages to

husbands, are more sensitive &

responsive, husbands may not reply at all

or withdraw.

Usually wives want change & husbands

withdraw with the most to gain by doing so.

Women set the emotional tone in a family.

GENDER DIFFERENCES IN COMMUNICATION

Men Women

ACTIVE VS. PASSIVE LISTENING

Passive= hearing words without actually listening.

Active= sending a signal that you are listening such as

nodding or verbally responding.

Checking out= using questions to clarify a message. Ex.

“Where did you say this happened?”

Reflecting=repeating in your own words what has been

said. Ex. “What your saying is…”

“I” MESSAGES

I messages are used during those difficult times when

you must assert yourself and confront someone about

his/her unacceptable behavior so that a solution to the

problem can be negotiated.

I messages communicate the problem.

I feel…when…because.

“ I” MESSAGES ALLOW YOU TO…

Confront people in a positive way.

Be open, honest, and straightforward about a

person’s unacceptable behavior.

Avoid putting people on the defensive.

Appeal for help in solving the problem.

Communicate ownership of the problem.

“YOU” MESSAGES

YOU MESSAGES are totally ineffective because they

contain language that sounds abrasive, judgmental,

condescending, or injurious to the self-esteem of the

person confronted.

“YOU” MESSAGES ARE NEVER WELL RECEIVED

BECAUSE…

They make people feel guiltyThey can be interpreted as blame, put downs, criticism and rejections.They communicate a lack of respect for others.They often cause reactive or retaliatory behavior.They damage the recipients self-esteem.They cause resistance rather the openness to change.They can make a person fell hurt, the resentful.They are often perceived as punitive.

POSITIVE COMMUNICATION PATTERNS

Stroking= using positive and encouraging

comments.

Using praise can create a positive climate!

NEGATIVE COMMUNICATION PATTERNS

Blaming= a pattern in which people accuse others for

everything that goes wrong.

Placating= a pattern of communication in which people will

say or do something just to please others or keep them from

getting upset.

Distracting= another poor communication pattern in which

people just ignore unpleasant situations.

SELF-ESTEEM

People with a high self-esteem are more confident at

communicating their message.

People with low self-esteem may have more problems

communicating effectively.

When sending messages, a person with low self-esteem may

fear that others will reject their ideas. May be afraid to let others

know what they really think and feel.

EMOTIONAL STATE

When emotions are intense, both messages and strong

personal feelings are being communicated.

If you are angry or upset, your words may not mean exactly

what you feel.

Your communication will not be clear!

Take time to calm down before you communicate the wrong

message.

COMMUNICATION BARRIERS

The most common barriers to good communication

are:• Closed minds= shut out or ignore opinions that are

different.• Mixed messages= not saying what you really mean.• Prejudice= forming opinions without complete

knowledge.• Poor listening skills= distracted listener.

SKILLS FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Conflict= when two people disagree.

Conflict resolution= skills that help you resolve a problem.

Steps to resolve a conflict:• Identify the problem.• Identify who owns the problem.• Accept ownership.• Solve the problem.

NEGOTIATION AND COMPROMISE

Negotiation= when people alternate between sending

and receiving messages in order to reach an agreeable

solution.

Compromise= a five and take method that allows both

people to express themselves.

No one person wins or loses.

Both give in a little to reach a solution.