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Chapter 10: Managing Interpersonal Conflicts
Presentation prepared by Dr. Michael Pearson, Gretchen Gill, and Tim
Scanlon of West Chester University
PowerPoint Presentation to accompany Looking Out, Looking In, Tenth Edition
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. Thomson Learning™ is a trademark used herein under license.
For permission to use material from this text, contact us by:Phone: 1-800-730-2214 Fax: 1-800-730-2215
Web: www.thomsonrights.com
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
CHAPTER 10
ManagingManagingInterpersonal ConflictsInterpersonal Conflicts
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
ManagingManagingInterpersonal ConflictsInterpersonal Conflicts
• The Nature of Conflict• Personal Conflict Styles• Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear
Message Format• Conflict in Relational Systems• Variables in Conflict Styles• Methods of Conflict Resolution• Win-Win Communication Skills• Constructive Conflict: Questions and
Answers
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc.
The Nature of Conflict
Conflict is defined as an expressed struggle between two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals.
• Expressed Struggle• Perceived Incompatible Goals• Perceived Scarce Rewards• Interdependence• Interference from the Other Party
Conflict Defined
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The Nature of Conflict
No matter how close you are to somebody, there will be times when your ideas or actions or needs won’t match those of others around you.
Conflict is Natural
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The Nature of Conflict
Effective communication during conflict can keep good relationships strong. People who work through their conflicts using constructive skills are more satisfied with their relationships and with the outcomes of their conflicts.
Conflict Can be Beneficial
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Personal Conflict Styles
Nonassertion - the inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings in a conflict
• Avoidance: physical or conversational, steering clear of conflict
• Accommodation: giving in; putting other’s needs ahead of your own
Nonassertive Behavior
Direct Aggression – expressing a criticism or demand thatthreatens the face of the person at whom it is directed.
Direct Aggression
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Personal Conflict Styles
Passive Aggression - occurs when a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure way; “crazymaking”
Passive Aggression
Indirect Communication - a roundabout way of expressing wants or needs in order to save face for the recipient.
Indirect Communication
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Personal Conflict Styles
Assertion - a clear and direct expression of the sender’s needs, thoughts, or feelings, without judging or dictating to others.
Assertion
Factors to consider :1) The Relationship2) The Situation3) The Receiver4) Your Goals
Which Style is Best ?
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Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format
Behavioral Description - an account that refers only toobservable phenomena; behavioral description should be objective, describing an event without interpreting it
Behavior
Interpretation - the process of attaching meaning tobehavior; there can be more than one interpretation attached to a behavior
Interpretation
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Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format
Feeling – an expression of the emotion you are experiencing as a result of the other person’s behavior
Feeling
A consequence statement explains what happens as a result of the behavior you have described, your interpretation, the ensuing feeling, or all three.
Consequence
Three types of consequences:• what happens to you, the speaker• what happens to the person you’re addressing• what happens to others
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Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format
Intention Statements can communicate three kinds of messages:
1) a description of where you stand on an issue
2) requests of others
3) descriptions of how you plan to act in the future.
Intention
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Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format
Behavior-interpretation-feeling-consequences-intention
format :
1) The elements may be delivered in mixed order.
2) Word the message to suit your personal style.
3) When appropriate combine two elements in a
single phrase.
4) Take your time delivering the message.
Using the Clear Message Format
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Conflict in Relational Systems
Relational Conflict Style - a pattern of managing disagreements that develops in a long-term relationship.
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Conflict in Relational Systems
Complementary Conflict Style - partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors
Symmetrical Conflict Style - both parties use the same behaviors
Parallel Conflict Style - shifts between complementary and symmetrical patterns from one issue to another
Complementary, Symmetrical, and Parallel Styles
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Conflict in Relational Systems
Nonintimate-Aggressive
Nonintimate-Nonaggressive
Intimate-Aggressive
Intimate-Nonaggressive
Intimate and Aggressive Styles
Conflict Ritual – unacknowledged but very real patterns of interlocking behavior
Conflict Rituals
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Variables in Conflict Styles
Men and women approach conflict differently.
Gender
The way in which people manage conflict varies tremendously depending on their cultural background.
Culture
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Methods of Conflict Resolution
Win-lose Problem Solving – one party gets what he or she wants and the other party comes up short
Win-Lose
Lose-lose Problem Solving – neither side is satisfied with the outcome
Lose-Lose
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Methods of Conflict Resolution
Compromise – gives both parties at least some of what they wanted, though both sacrifice part of their goals.
Compromise
Win-win problem solving is an approach to conflict resolution in which the parties work together to satisfy all of their needs and goals.
Win-Win
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Win-Win Communication Skills
1) Identify Your Problem and Unmet Needs
2) Make a Date
3) Describe Your Problem and Needs
4) Consider Your Partner’s Point of View
5) Negotiate a Solution
6) Follow Up the Solution
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Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers
Mutual benefit is not only desirable—it works. Good intentions and creative thinking can lead to outcomes that satisfy everyone’s needs.
Isn’t the Win-Win Approach Too Good to be True?
The win-win approach is detailed and highly structured,but you will not use every step when resolving conflict in everyday life.
Isn’t the Win-Win Approach Too Elaborate?
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Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers
It may be the most sensible, and sometimes it may be impossible to be rational. In these situations, let your frustrations out, but be sure your partner understands what you’re doing and that what ever you say doesn’t call for a response.
Isn’t Win-Win Negotiating Too Rational?
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Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers
Show that it’s in your partner’s self-interest to work together with you, projecting both the favorable consequences of cooperating and the unfavorable consequences of competing. Also, you can boost the odds of getting your partner to cooperate by modeling the communication skills described in the book.
Is it Possible to Change Others?