Chapter 02

AdaptationandtheAdaptationandthechaptertwochaptertwo

Adaptation and theSelectionofWordsAdaptation and theSelectionofWords

OverviewOverview

Role of adaptation in selecting wordsRoleofadaptationinselectingwords Simplifyingwithshortandfamiliarwords Appropriate use of technical words and acronymsAppropriateuseoftechnicalwordsandacronyms Selectionofwordswithappropriatestrength Use of concrete words and active voice Useofconcretewordsandactivevoice Achieveclarityandprecisionbyavoidingcamouflaged verbs selecting the right words andcamouflagedverbs,selectingtherightwords,andusingidiomscorrectly.

Use of words that do not discriminateUseofwordsthatdonotdiscriminate

NeedforAdaptationNeedforAdaptation(fitting the message to your readers)(fitting the message to your readers)(fittingthemessagetoyourreaders)(fittingthemessagetoyourreaders)

How to do it:Howtodoit: Visualizeyourreaders

h th thi k howtheythink whattheyknow theireducationlevel etc.

Thenwriteforthem

HowtoAdapttoMultipleReadersHowtoAdapttoMultipleReaders

Write for the bottom levelWriteforthebottomlevel. Usuallythismeanssimplifyingthemessage

h h f ll i i Thus,thefollowingsuggestionsstresssimplification

Useshort,familiarwords.Useshort,familiarwords.

DONTDONTDON TDON TIn effect, it was hypothesized that certain physical data categories including housing types and densities, land use characteristics, and ecological location constitute a scaleable content area. This could be called a continuum of residential desirability. Likewise, it was hypothesized that several social y , ypdata categories, describing the same census tracts and referring generally to to the social stratification system of the city would also be scaleable This scale could be called acity, would also be scaleable. This scale could be called a continuum of socioeconomic status. Thirdly, it was hypothesized that there would be a high positive correlation between the scale types on each continuum.

Useshort,familiarwords.Useshort,familiarwords.

DODOOne can tell from an aerial photograph where rich and poor people live The rich live in big

DODO

rich and poor people live. The rich live in big houses set far apart. The poor live in small houses set close together.houses set close together.

Prefertheshort,familiarwordPrefertheshort,familiarwordto the long unfamiliar wordto the long unfamiliar wordtothelong,unfamiliarword.tothelong,unfamiliarword.

Long, Unfamiliar Words Short, Familiar Words Shorten Do

AbbreviateAccomplish

Long, Unfamiliar Words Short, Familiar Words

Do About Find out

AccomplishApproximately

Ascertain Find out Begin M h

AscertainCommence

C id bl Much Decide H f l

ConsiderableDetermine

HarmfulDetrimental


Long, Unfamiliar Words Short, Familiar Words Copy Height

DuplicateElevation


Height Equal Build

ElevationEquivalentFabricate Build

Give Vague

FabricateFurnish

Indeterminate g Show Useless

IndeterminateIndicate

Ineffectual


Long Unfamiliar Words Short, Familiar Words Hinder Smallest

InterruptMinimal


Smallest Change Go

MinimalModification

Proceed Go Replace Last

ProceedSupersede

Ultimate Last Picture Proof

UltimateVisualize

Verification ProofVerification

Use Technical Language with Caution.Use Technical Language with Caution.Social SecuritySocial Securitys technical language found s technical language found yy g gg g

to be misunderstood by outsidersto be misunderstood by outsiders::

Technical Language Improved Version

Has worked long enough (under Social Security) to become

Has sufficient quarters of coverage to acquire an

Technical Language Improved Version

Social Security) to become insured.Family insurance paymentsA job covered by Social Security

coverage to acquire an insured status.Survivors benefitsCovered employment A job covered by Social Security

Worker who has diedTo apply for insurance payments

Covered employmentDeceased wage earnerTo file a claim

Workers past 65Aged workers

UseinitialsandacronymsUseinitialsandacronymswith cautionwith cautionwithcaution.withcaution.

What do these letters mean?

RFID FTC

Radio Frequency Identification Federal Trade Commission FTC

CDIPO

Federal Trade Commission Certificate of Deposit/Compact Disc Initial Public Offering IPO

RVNATO

Initial Public Offering Recreational Vehicle N th Atl ti T t O i ti NATO

IRS North Atlantic Treaty Organization Internal Revenue Service

PrefertheconcretetoPrefertheconcretetothe abstractthe abstracttheabstract.theabstract.

Abstract ConcreteOur research shows that 87 percent of those using this technique are successful

We have found that this technique is successful.

successful.Your department may hire three new stock clerks.We will ship the Moss No 41 desk sets

Your department may hire somenew employees.We will ship your order soon We will ship the Moss No. 41 desk sets

you ordered October 12 by Arrow Freight on October 15.Each of the branch managers will

We will ship your order soon.

Each of the branch managers will Each of the branch managers will received a 15 percent pay raise.This process requires a constant temperature of 10 degrees centigrade

Each of the branch managers will receive a substantial pay raise.This procedure requires a constant low temperature temperature of 10 degrees centigrade.low temperature.

Prefertheactivetothepassive.Prefertheactivetothepassive.Passive Active

I believe they padded the bill.

The president read your report.

It is believed that the bill was padded.Your report was read by the p y p

The treasurer prepares the profit and loss statement each month.

p ypresident.The profit and loss statement is prepared by the treasurer each

We suggest that you clean the element in warm, soapy water.

p p ymonth.It is suggested that you clean the element in warm, soapy water.

Mr. Wong wants you to bring this matter to the attention of the manager.

It is desired that every effort be made to have this matter brought to the attention of the manager.

PreferstrongverbstoverbsPreferstrongverbstoverbscamouflaged as nounscamouflaged as nounscamouflagedasnouns.camouflagedasnouns.

Camouflaged Verb Strong Verb

. . . classify . . .. . . make a classification . . .


. . . compute . . .. . . explore . . .

inform

. . . make a computation . . .. . . conduct an exploration . . .

provide information . . . inform . . .. . . negotiate . . .. . . observe . . .

. . . provide information . . .. . . engage in negotiation . . .. . . make an observation . . .

. . . represent . . .. . . provide representation . . .

PreferstrongverbstoverbsPreferstrongverbstoverbscamouflaged as nounscamouflaged as nounscamouflagedasnouns.camouflagedasnouns.


We canceled the order on the 12th.

Cancellation of the order was made on the 12th.

g g

The change eliminated the deficit.Ms Brown manages this

Elimination of the deficit was brought about by the change.The management of this office Ms. Brown manages this

office.The safety officer distributed

The management of this office is conducted by Ms. Brown.Distribution of the special

the special equipment.equipment was accomplished by the safety officer.

Choosethepreciseword.Choosethepreciseword.

The committee (comprises) (constitutes)The committee (comprises) (constitutes) representatives from all four sales districts.

This building site cost a large (sum) (amount) of g g ( ) ( )money.

She was (notorious) (noted) for her concern for ( ) ( )the poor.

We found no evidence that would (cause) (enable) us to support him.

The management of this store is independent (of) (from) the main office.

Choosethepreciseword.Choosethepreciseword.

She (claimed) (maintained) (said) that she was ill.She(claimed)(maintained)(said)thatshewasill. Heisangry(about)(with)theloss. I will try (to) (and) correct the errorIwilltry(to)(and)correcttheerror. Idiffer(with)(from)youonthisconclusion. If he is late I will not wait (for) (on) him longer than Ifheislate,Iwillnotwait(for)(on)himlongerthantenminutes.

She has an interest (in) (for) technical writingShehasaninterest(in)(for)technicalwriting.

SuggestionsforSuggestionsforNondiscriminatory WritingNondiscriminatory WritingNondiscriminatoryWritingNondiscriminatoryWriting

Avoid sexist pronouns byAvoidsexistpronounsby rewordingtoeliminatetheoffendingword,

ki h f l l d makingthereferenceplural,and substitutinganeutralexpression(heorshe,he/she,s/he,you,one,person).

Reword to eliminate the offending word.Reword to eliminate the offending word.gg

Sexist NonsexistWe will reimburse any employee for travel expenses

Sexist Nonsexist

We will reimburse any employee who paid his

paid.A customer who pays promptly is placed on our preferred list

travel expenses.If a customer pays promptly, he is placed on our preferred is placed on our preferred list.

A physician should treat

he is placed on our preferred list.A physician should treat his

patients with respect.patients with respect.

Makethereferenceplural.Makethereferenceplural.

Sexist NonsexistIfcustomerspaypromptly,they areplacedonourpreferredlist.When unauthorized employees

Ifacustomerpayspromptly,heisplacedonourpreferredlist.When an unauthorized employee Whenunauthorizedemployees

enterthesecurityarea,they aresubjecttodismissal.

bl f

Whenanunauthorizedemployeeentersthesecurityarea,heissubjecttodismissal.

bl f Supervisorsarenotresponsibleforsuchlossesifthey arenotnegligent.Whencustomersneedservice,they

Asupervisorisnotresponsibleforsuchlossesifheisnotnegligent.Whenacustomerneedsservice,itis

havetherighttoaskforit.herrighttoaskforit.

Substituteaneutralexpression.Substituteaneutralexpression.

Sexist Nonsexist

If a customer pays promptly, he or she is placed on our preferred

If a customer pays promptly, he is placed on our preferred list.

list.When an unauthorized employee enters the security area, he/she

When an unauthorized employee enters the security area, he is y ,

is subject to dismissal.A supervisor is not responsible for such losses if s/he is not

y ,subject to dismissal.A supervisor is not responsible for such losses if he is not for such losses if s/he is not

negligent.When service is needed, onehas the right to ask for it

for such losses if he is not negligent.When a customer needs service, it is her right to ask for it has the right to ask for it.it is her right to ask for it.

AvoidwordswithaAvoidwordswithamasculine originmasculine originmasculineorigin.masculineorigin.

Sexist Nonsexistmanufactured, of human originpersonnel, workers

man-mademanpower

representative, member of Congressbusiness executive, businesspersonletter carrier mail carrier

congressmanbusinessmanmailman letter carrier, mail carrier

police officerfire fighter

mailmanpolicemanfireman

camera operatorserver

cameramanwaiter/waitress

MasculineMasculinesoundingWordssoundingWordsNo Masculine OriginNo Masculine OriginNoMasculineOriginNoMasculineOrigin

manufacturemanufacture management historyhistory manipulate mannequin mannequin manicure mandolin mandolin histrionichi t i histamine

Avoid words that lower oneAvoid words that lower ones status.s status.

Instead of Use

my girllady doctor

my secretary doctorlady doctor

authoressactress

doctor author actor

poetesssculptress

male nurse

poet sculptor nursemale nurse

male secretary nurse secretary

GenerallyavoidwordsthatstereotypeGenerallyavoidwordsthatstereotypebybybyby

Race ahardworkingAfricanAmerican anhonestSicilian

Age goldenageryoungster youngster

Disability deaf and dumbdeafanddumb crippled

SexualOrientation homosexual gay

Why use two words when one will do.

Thomas Jefferson--Thomas Jefferson

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Chapter 02