Caroline and the Pony

7/30/2019 Caroline and the Pony

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L a u r e n i u B u d u

Caroline andthe Pony

(strong comedy)

translated by AlexandraBudu

Caracthers:

Caroline

Zozo - The owner of the circus

The Screwball doctor

Miss Rubber band

Deputy Headmaster

The Mother

The Father

Oxford - The pony with a blue eye

The Nile Crocodile


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Scene I

(The Mother, Caroline, The Screwball Doctor)

The Mother: Im very worried doctor, very worried. I started to dream owls.

The Screwball Doctor: Nightmares are treated at the upper floor, here we deal with growing,thegood growing and when I say that, I dont refer to education, dear Madam; for this parents,

teachers and Inquistors were invented. Cute them, a lot of them are under the intelectual level ofthose who should educate them, but this is not my job,especially because Im not well payed by

this insanitary clinic. Go down to floor two Madam, second door on the left. My colleague the

shrink, champion of darts, will help you for sure.

The Mother: ...Sometimes I even dream seagulls, rarely though, but usually before the holidays.I dream about how they shit on the tower cranes.

The Screwball Doctor: Second floor, Madam, second floor! I am responsible with theelongation of bones and you, I see that you have the nerves set. Maybe too set. Whorecommended you, my parlour?

The Mother: Destiny doctor. I was passing, empty on the inside, holding this child in front ofthe hospital when a baritone voice whispered to me out of the sudden Go to the third floor,parlour 333 and there you will find the alleviation of all your problems....

The Screwball Doctor: All of them?! There you mean, here?! ...Are you sure that this

unpalatable voice or destiny or who knows what the hell was, indicated corectly the number ofthe parlour?

The Mother: Infallible. Infallible. Caroline, be nice! Dont you see that Im talking to an older

man ? 333 how differently?!

The Screwball Doctor: At the moment I see myself obliged to send you two floors down .Youcant be wrong. There is only one door on that dark hall.

The Mother: Ok, but there is the morgue!

The Screwball Doctor: There is no problem that cannot be solved behind that door. There havenever been complaints in that branch... Next!

The Mother: Doctor you are our last hope! The destiny itself recommended you to us!


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The Screwball Doctor: I know, the baritone voice. Next! ...Understand me Madam, in two hoursI have a flight that will take me to Paris to have an important conference that will revolutionatethe medicine or at least its future. Very, very important, so my thought is only there (singing)

Aux Champs lyses !!!

The Mother:What will it be with this child? Cant you see that she is holding you tight as a anivy?

The Screwball Doctor: Mhmm... Make a paternity test, please. Advisable. The variant with theDNA is much more certain... Its useless to blackmail me. I cant have children. The nurse can

confirm you. Isnt it Cella? (singing) Aux Champs lyses!!!

The Mother: Calm down. She already has a father and for every child, one single father isalways enough.Knives thrower. The problem is a different one.

The Screwball Doctor: Ah, another problem? I have only one hour and 45 minutes and Im not

in the mood of running on the tarmac! Concentrate!

The Mother: Five minutes are enough for an informed eye. Look for a moment at her. I begyou.If it is necessary I will even kneel before you... Soo?! Consult her, please!

The Screwball Doctor: What happened to your shoulder?

The Mother: Nothing... A scratch.Its going to pass... Settle down, Caroline! Mister Doctor onlywants the best for you even if he is in a hurry. Calm down!

The Screwball Doctor: ...Is everything Ok? What a temper. She looks normal for a child of four

years old. The eyes betray a sharp inteligence but also an unexplainable melancholia. She is alovely girl with a suitable name and with a seamless growth.You can hum Ode to Joy. Yes, yes

its time to dream parrots and magpies. Nurse give the girl a lolipop with pink ladybugs! And

now: Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! We will drink a beer in Paris!

The Mother: No goodbye and beer, doctor. My girl is twelve years old and she looks like

someone of ...of....of four and....and...and we wont leave from here until I get an explanation.

Any kind of explanation. I have this right stipulated by the National House of Assurances. Imtired to keep on dreaming owls and seagulls, on the trash. Think of me and of my dark rings...Twelve years old doctor ,did you understand, not four? Twelve!!!!

The Screwball Doctor: !!!

The Mother: Hey?! Are you speechless?!

The Screwball Doctor:I was meditating... Its only one hour left and let the blue chimps die, if i

know that i finished packing or not.Nurse,pack yourself! Im timing you! ...Wendy

contaminated by the Peter Pan syndrome, euphemisticaly speaking, but if I should express


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myself in specific terms we can affirm that we are dealing with a typical case of dwarfism. Imsorry but this is the truth and I have no minute left to spare you.Yes,yes smile.This is aneconomic anomaly. Dwarfism is the opposite of giantism... Nothing can be done in this matterand to any parlour you will go you will get the same unchangeable answer, no matter thepayment. Argue with Mother Nature who has put fat on her head and who forgot about

agriculture.... Resign with dignity! ...This business has also good parts. The lilliputians arerequired for Christmas and most of them have well payed careers. (Makes sounds like a train).Get out of the way!

The Mother: Okay-Okay, so what is the cause then, because nothing in this life happens withouta precise cause. That is what the parson repeats to us in a throaty voice, every Sunday in which itrains with frogs.

The Screwball Doctor: Woman, consult a bearded astrologer.Is it so difficult to understand?Science has the hands raised in this case. Absolutely.

He throws his jumper revealing an amazing tuxedo,he gets two red large suitcases from under

the study in which he tries to get in, his sexy nurse and goes off at a rare bat,whistling AuxChamps lyses

The Mother (staring amazed while he disappeares): And to still believe in... voices! Thats agood one!

The Screwball Doctor(reappears as suddenly as he disappeared): Oh and until I forget, dontforget to pass by the pay box! Heres the timer. I stopped it right on time... Second door on the

right, near the exit. You infered corectly. We also accept Maestro and Visa cards!


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Scene 2

(The Father, The owner of the circus)

The owner of the circus: I know you are in a desperate situation, Rudolph,but you cant stay

here anymore. No one put you to drink before the show. What would you have done if the knifewould have touched the jugular and not the shoulder of your wife? Unconscious! ...Think man, Idont want the police to raid over my businesses. Luckily the situation was saved by the clowns

who splashed the arena with tomato sauce, otherwise...

The Father: I promise this was the last time. I dont know what have gotten into me. I am 50

years old and something else beside throwing knives, I dont know what to do.

The owner of the circus: You do know!

The Father: What?

The owner of the circus: Problems! Problems, Rudolph! I cant accept any longer,

compromises. Look at those from Soleil where they have got. They are intangibles and

consequents.

The Father:Where could I go, Zozo?! At my age no one will receive me, not even at the circusof poor Klaus. All of them look for handsome, young and small mouth people. Please give meanother chance... a little one, the last one, Zozo!

The Father: Do you want me to humiliate myself? I will humiliate myself, Zozo.

The owner of the circus:You are too proud Rudi.In three hours I want you to free the trailer. Ihave signed a contract with an Indian fakir having a perfect CV. I need some space. He iscoming with everything he has.

The Father: I have a family Zozo, a child with problems who has to be educated and fed.

The owner of the circus: You should have thought of that before you have hooked up with thewoman with the snake on her shoulder.

The Father: So in the end that is all about. The story remains in the past. It didnt work... I

didnt know that Eve is your protegee and... I had a moment of wandering. Short. We were each

other attracted by the other ones snake. (Sighing) I am at a difficult age... easy to be seduced.

The owner of the circus: Me too.I have a broken heart like a Bohemian porcelain. Broken topieces... The decision has been made. And she agreed.


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The Father: Eveline?! Do you want me to humiliate myself?

The owner of the circus: Be worthy and get lost. I never stood you , not even when I took careof the small animals and you were the star of Strombolis circus and the only owner.

The Father: You cant throw me in the street on this awful weather. I dont have any money, noteven to buy myself a paper umbrella to put in the ice cream from the toys stand. Lend me sometime! From my money has been bought this shiny tent, from Rudis money. (Cries)

The owner of the circus: Let it be. Im generous. I will make you one last and big offer. Stopthe whimper because you are annoying me! Listen to me!

The Father: Im listening! I knew that you also have a good part. Thank you little Zozo! I will

learn you the trick with the happy ladles!

The owner of the circus: Dont bother, it is obsolete... When it comes about leaving, you will

still leave at long last, but it depends on you, how. It remains for you to convince your wife ofthe offer. She might agree because she chokes up a lot of things from you lately.

The Father: Im listening Zozo. What is your offer?

The owner of the circus: I offer you to sell me your little daugther, Caroline, or to lease her tome for 35 years. Im thinking about a fabulous magic number that will wreathe my career and I

need her for that. The audience will be delirious and my pockets are going to be filled withmoney. You also have a percent. They pay well for a genetic anomaly... What do you say?!

The Father: Bleeder! Im sorry that I took the knives to sharpen them and that I dont have any

with me, pray Sinbad... Im not that miserable. Carol is not a thing ,a land but a human being. Ahuman being, do you understand, like me and you! Sorry you are not a human being but amonster... You know why you cant do the wonderful number with the 24 circles?

The owner of the circus: Honestly I dont. Can you clear it up for me?

The Father: Because you cannot count them .Illiterate!

The owner of the circus: Thats it! In three hours I want to have the trailer swept and the keys

given to the accountant. Be worthy and go away!

The Father: Zozoo!

The owner of the circus: Indeed, thats my name, still,from now on I prefer you to forget this

horrible name of a monster. Im tired of gossip and things done behind my back! ...Hello! Mister

Indian fakir excuse me for my delay, yes, yes, I had some administrative curent things to solve.In three hours I want to meet you near the elephants cage... Yes, yes, the pink one...Of course

Raj...of course, bring also your luggage.


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The Father:You put me down, Zozo. Dont chase me away like a razor back.

The owner of the circus: The Charity House Stromboli is bankrupt. Farewell!

The Father(finished): ...How much?!

Scene 3

(The Mother, Caroline)

The Mother: Ah, I dreamt again seagulls and when I dream seagulls that are pecking my head,everything goes wrong.Today you arent going to the West School, Caroline. No way.

Caroline: Why?! ...Are we going again on a tour? ...I started to like it here. Why shouldnt I go

to school, mommy?!

The Mother: No questions! Thats what the bald man from over there asked me, the deputyheadmaster. He wont write in the list that you were absent. He swore. He told me that your

papers from the Minister havent arrived yet and that they might assign you at the end of the

semester to the inferior course. He stuttered the explanations and he got red just like your fatherwhen he lies to me in the middle of the night to justify his disapperances. He told me that he is

thinking seriously about setting up a class for nonresident pupils, for them not to disturb theactivity of regular pupils. Theoretically this is not a bad thing.... Rudi! ...Rudiiii!

Caroline: Nonresident pupils?!

The Mother: Yes, pupils who are under the necessity of following their parents throughdifferent towns in which they are obliged through the nature of their job of devolping theiractivity. The children of officers, police men and military men...

Caroline: Tumblers....

The Mother: Of course. Its not a shame to recognize it (only in the case in which you areasked) that you are the child of some skilled artists. There are all sort of prejudices but drawinga line, only for the ignorants, the circus is not a nobel profession. Sometime I was under theprotection of kings or emirs but now we have to get used to the whims of the characters of

which one way or another, we are dependent of.


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Caroline: Dependent? Why would we be dependent? Havent you learned me that the liberty of

taking decisions is the greatest liberty to which a person can aspire?

The Mother: Have I told you something like that?! (followed by a long silence) Of course Ishould have told you Caroline since you state it so decided. Ah,these owls! Rudi! Rudiii!

...Important decisions dont depend on the height. I suppose that you are not complexed by yourreduced to the scale appearance.

Caroline: Not at all, I feel good like this. When children are small and their problems are smalland as they grow, their problems fit their height so I dont want to create problems to my loved

ones... Im curious, still, how are they going to set up a class when Im the only nonresident

pupil from this little town.

The Mother: Tumba-rumba!! !...Crook! How didnt I think of that... Well done! Three timeswell done! ...I suspected that the villain with the list was hiding something from me. How

couldnt I have thought of something like that! I could have told him something more but he hadsent after janitor to lead me out... Idiot. I have to force him to present me in a written way a clearcause of your rejection from the courses so that I can reclaim him. That is how the system worksconsequently that is how we act. What time is it?

Caroline: The cats started to agitate so there has to be at least eight oclock.Even a quarter after

eight.

The Mother: Tumba-Rumba!!! How didnt I tkink about it ?! Such a stupidity,a class with onlyone pupil. Illogical... I have to take a cab. Bring my green hat while Im putting some lipstick

on... and the pills for pressure. Im going to have a monster fight. Until I get there, I have time to

prepare my speech as I should. No one from this world has the right to discriminate my child, noteven some deputy headmaster. Your mother, Caro never gives up. I have faced tougher ones...You will see Caroline! ...You will see Caroline!


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Scene 4

(Caroline,The Pony)

The Pony: Why are you crying?

Caroline: If this salty water that is going down my face means crying then that sure means that Iam sad. Very sad. Dont ask me for details... Lets get to know each other!

The Pony(proud): Oxford-The Shetland Pony.

Caroline: Ohhh! ...Carol! Just Carol. I thought that ponies only know their pony language notand....

The Pony: Prejudices! Its not that hard to assimilate other language than The Mother tongue buta lot of animals are cosy. How do you learn easily two even three foreign languages the least...

Caroline: For this is needed a lot of perseverance. We also attend some schools in the case inwhich we are granted by a certain colectivity.

The Pony: You see, association is a quality which to us doesnt abound and the majority indulges to play its part of a solitary dumb creature. The only one of us which succeded to get

his certificate of polyglot is the Nile crocodile. We still dont have a good education system and

in our circle everything is transmitted on the oral way. How much waste of experience andtalent! If we put our brains to contribution we could be a serious competition. We have a strongnature and a similar personality.

Caroline: Brr! I dont doubt that. What do you want to be when you will be all grown up?

The Pony: The classic question! What are you doing ,are you interviewing me?! But I amalready all grown up even though I look almost the same as when I was born. I have the sameage as the sword swallower only that he grew up meanwhile... Pony, what else could I be, ofcourse not a racing horse, tough i would have wanted it. (Sighing) I dont have the data...

Caroline: Interesting. A pony that wants to be a pony. Deep!I have to write that down in my

journal.The Pony (humming the hit As long as the sparrow lives, it is a baby): My ancestors workedvery hard in the mine generations in a row but my parents chose to work in the showbiz... But ifyou ask me seriously I would have liked to be an investigation reporter but I still havent found

out how can I hold the pen with these little hooves and then I limit myself to the gambols fromthe wait. We cant all be geniuses.


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Caroline: But we can try. A reporter you were saying?! You could hire a part-time secretary towho you could dictate the articles and who should send them at the editorial in your place... Thatsimple, Oxford.

The Pony(shy): Great. Do you want to?!

Caroline: What do you mean if I want to?

The Pony: Say yes or no.

Caroline: How should I say yes or no without knowing what is all about?

The Pony: So you dont want to! (Sighing) I was right...

Caroline: Of course I want to but I have to know whats all about in this offer.

The Pony: Thank you.Yupee! The interview has been taken.Lucky one! From now on, you are

my secretary. Consider yourself hired.Yupee ya ya yupee ya! Congratulations.

Caroline: You werent so transparent,but... I accept.

The Pony (neighing happy): Yupee! I will promote a gazette! I will promote a gazette! Therusty horseshoe will be its name.

Caroline: Easy, your name is still Oxford-the Shetland pony-and you have a moral duty in frontof the gray matter. You can do much more than this featureless title...

The Pony: The shreded tent how does it sound? ...The humid hay? The gray curb?

Caroline: Keep trying. Im not going anywhere. I have time.

The Pony: Stop staring at my only eye... the blue one.I was born like that. The other one isviolet, you know...

Caroline: Hilarious! A real curiosity.

The Pony: Still...The Pony, do you think it would sound bad?

Caroline: Not bad, incomplete for sure. Add something more,you eyed one... a word that willcomplete it.

The Pony (neighing three times): Yupee! Yupee! I found it! Caroline and the Pony. Thats

how the publication is going to be called... Tell me that you disagree.

Caroline: I do. At last a suitable name, original and complete. We have to celebrate. Lets

inaugarate... I have half dark chocolate with peanuts in my backpack and an overripe orange.


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The Pony: I can get some oat also... We are going to share everything like siblings, arent we?

Caroline: Of course!

Scene 5

(The owner of the circus, Caroline, The Pony)

The owner of the circus: Why dont you let the animals to rest and why do you feed them with

nonsense? What is this Dalmatian horse doing here?! How many times do I have to repeat that he

must not be left unsupervised not even a second?! ...Do you know how much it costs me thelocal veterinary,the little one?...

Caroline: Well...

The owner of the circus: Not a word! Where is your giddy father? He whould have given me asteady answer and not disappear... Mother? ...What do you do?

Caroline: At this hour I think he must be training, uncle Zozo, and my mother must be gatheringevidence...

The owner of the circus: It was about time... What training,what evidence, what parents? Hi-hi!And you, why aret you in school? What do you do? Why are you talking on your own? Why is

your hair gathered in this way? Why is it cloudy outside? Is the current year a leap one? Whathas that doctor from the hospital say to you? Did he found anything wrong with you? ...Is itcontagious?

Caroline: Well...

The owner of the circus: Of course.You can see it with the naked eye. Hi-hi! Its not going torain... I understood everything, dont try that hard. I know everything. I see everything.I hear

everything. Didnt you notice a moustached fakir around here?Caroline: Fakir?!

The owner of the circus:An indian one.He has a hemp turban and the habit of spitting threetimes over his shoulder every half an hour.He wears a raffia bag in which it is stuffed a syntheticflying carpet and makes incantations under the portable shower.He adores cattle withouthorns.He speaks only English and he looks cock-eyed.


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Caroline: Does he have squint?

The owner of the circus: He doesnt wear Squint, but Armani, you ignorant. He is styled and hehas value like a question mark...Yes, I dont know why am I sharing those kind of intimacies

with you... little one. Take the insolent and uneducated Oxford in the giddy-go-round and also

take this pile of papers gone pale. Do some perfect cornucopias for the representation in themorning. Perfect, did you copy that?

Caroline: But the papers are from my fathers youth in which he played along my mother the

number that made them famous in all Europe... How could I tear them?!

The owner of the circus: With the hand. Too bad for all that quality paper thrown away.Supersized edition and money thrown away. I dont admit to be contradicted by...by... Shut up!I

have eliminated for good and irrevocable the record and I moved there the monkeys inquarantine. Take care not to take one away because Ive counted them all carefully. Carefully,

little girl.Caroline: How many are then if im not impolite or ignorant, uncle Zozo?

The owner of the circus: Of course you are. You resemble your father, mid... You strikedirectly to the target. Sorry. I got excited. There are... there are ...are enough and if we split theminto four there will be many more, about five times more.Count yourself... No commentaries! Goto work! I have my eyes on you! ...I dont accept! I dont accept! I see everything! I knoweverything. (Gets out sniffing.)

The Pony: A fine clown he is, with his poor mathematics... Is he gone?

Caroline: I hope so. I cant hear him sniffing anymore.

The Pony: Since he hit me with the whip and threatened me to mark me with a burning iron, Icant stand this farcical intruder. Its not my fault that I couldnt run with the superobese

daughter of the judge in saddle and that i fell together with her, at the four lap exactly in themiddle of the lime hole.

Caroline: Forget it. The part with the lime was actually funny. The orchestrate laughed withtears at this wonderful moment. From its boss you got the loaf sugar while you were punished.

The Pony: I didnt know. I thought Zozo got kind and that he was trying to send me signals toforgive him.Give me details!!!

Caroline: Some other time,now we have more important things to do so that first we have tolook for some likable ink.

The Pony: Likable?!


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Deputy Headmaster: There is an amendment in the internal regulation of function, of theinstitution in which it says that every pupil can attend classes only if he/she has the favorablenotice of the parents comitee boss and in the file you are presenting to me i cant find that notice.

The Mother: Notice?! Im hearing new things. Clear me up!

Deputy Headmaster: It is a measure of avoiding the registration of felon pupils or with negativebehavioral antecedents and which until now has given magnificent results because of the extremevigilance of the comitee involved.

The Mother: In this case, I want to talk to the Headmaster. Immediately! This is an abuse!I cantstand a new postponement. I consider that you humiliated me enough.

Deputy Headmaster: The Headmaster cant be bothered with unsignificant things... He is a

cardiac and on the top, my favourite uncle. He has to be protected. Because of this it has beencreated the function I own. You can in exchange talk with the lovely lady Rubber Band, the boss

of the parents comitee of the West School and my cousin after my mother which by a fluke isserving her mixture of energizing drinks in the anteroom. Follow me please, Miss Rubber Band,this is The Mother of the girl from the circus Stromboli, the one I told you about...

Miss Rubber band (talks imperative): Nice to meet you or not.We, the representatives of theparents who send their descendants with the biggest confidence to this school, exploring withremembrance the application of the appointed etc, etc, etc, declare in unanimity that we dont

agree that the above mentioned to attend the obligatory classes with our pupils because herliliputan height betrays for certain a hidden disease because of the lon staying between wild andsick animals of the circus and it could represent a dangerous center of infection being able to

jeopardize seriously the health of the colectivity. Etc, etc, etc... We...

The Mother: But here it is a whole conspiracy. My Caroline hasnt got anything except for the

fact that at 4 years old she hasnt grown a finger and to this thing no one was able to offer until

now a logical explanation... What are your arguments based on?

Miss Rubber band: Dont interupt us... Where were we?!... dangerous center of infection... Yes,

yes, I found the line. We dont have to base our arguments or justify ourselves in front of any

obtuse parent. Our intuition has never failed ,not even in cases more profound like these ones.We...

The Mother: Easy. Take a break. Which we?! ...You are mother, I suppose?

Miss Rubber band: God forbid! I hate children! The idea of changing diapers rumples myepidermis constantly. I always wear an antiseptic mask... when I have to phtograph myselfaround them.


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Caroline: So and so.You have a immobile. A newspaper is not a Greek tragedy or a pill forsleep. The incompetence is always sterile if you have noticed. Without templates. We risk to loseour readers even from the start with these superficial things.

The Pony: Well. I dont think someone will abandon the cornupairs without emptying them first.

The lustfuls certainly not. Who makes the popcorn?

Caroline: My mother, who else? Before, it was made by the tamer without animals but sincethat one ran away in the middle of a show on the Mediteraneean shore with a bearded one

filled with tattoos, my mother was obliged by Zozo to take this suplimentary job also. Its not

easy. Believe me. It can happen all sort of accidents. Think only of the boiling oil.

The Pony: I think so. Still ask her to make them as hotter as possible and to distribute themshortly before the last gong. Its a trick.

Caroline: It doesnt work. If you really want to get the children interested in reading your

articles, you have to talk in an open way about their problems and you should offer themsolutions.

The Pony: What do you mean,even the children have problems?

Caroline: And even what problems.What for the adults is a triffle, for any child it could meanthe end of the world or the beginning of it. Think about it, for example, a broken balloon. Forparents it doesnt mean anything, only in the least a rag of rubber that can be replaced easily. For

a child it is everything. The Alpha and Omega being one. If you want to make a boy or a girl tocry for hours,break their balloon by stealth, while they are playing with it very happy. They will

never forgive you for your cruelty and dont think you could ever be their friend again.

The Pony: Interesting. It seems more complicated than I thought... No one was born ajournalist... I think we have to postpone the first edition for the day in which we will be trulyready. Should we vote for it? What do you say?

Caroline: I agree totally. I always supposed that you are a wise and mature pony.

The Pony: Of course. Strong essences are kept in small crystal bottles. I am 31 years old eventhough I dont show them.

Caroline: Exactly like me.The Pony: What do you mean that you also are 31 years old?! What a coincidence! Ya-ya-ya! Ithought you were getting ready for kindergarten. Dont you lie to me?

Caroline:I rectify. I wanted to say that I also am 12 years old even though I look like I am 4 or 5years old.


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The Pony: Aha! It happens...Isnt it hard for you?

Caroline: I will handle things if I always am surrounded by friends like you. For the momentlets gather ideas and when they bake enough, lets sift them.

The Pony: Great. From now on we have to act with the ideas as if with the popcorn. Brilliant.How didnt I think about it?I have to note that down also in a way... If you want, you can caressme slowly on the forehead and climb as a reward on the plush bloody red saddle and pull easilyby the ribbons. Without the other characteristics I am also a pet.

Caroline: I always wanted this but I didnt dare to take advantage...I wouldnt want you to think

about me that I am superficial but I am just curious to experience...Do you think you would askmore than half an apple for a ride until the trailers and back?

The Pony: Yah.Nothing. We are parteners.While we go for a ride you can tell me somethingabout how do you think it should be made an ideal day of a life for a child. The subject interests

me truly and it has to be elaborated.

Caroline: Yupee! Yupee! Lets go, Oxford!

The Pony: Easy! ...Is the apple ripe?

Scene 8

(The owner of the circus, Caroline, The Pony)

The owner of the circus: Ladies and gentlemen, honoured public, esteemed audience and dearcounselor withholding payment but grumpy! Gloomy gathering! ...Joke! Hi-hi! Welcome toStromboli circus!!! (intervention of the orchestra) We suggest to you tonight not a different kindof show, a show with which you are not used to, but a show that is going to remain in yourmemory all your lifetime. (Intervention of the orchestra)You wont see this time lions with their

prosthesis fallen,the pointless number with the Happy Ladles (Tins blown by the wind), themumbleds of the knife thrower who has taken as target the moon (Horror effect followed by abroken window), the obese aerialist in transparent suit (Gasps with wings) Nothing, nothing,nothing! Stromboli says farewell to its junk mummies and starts with this representation a newpage from its history, a new evanescent age! Deepest regrets! (Cannons and fireworks) Show,show, show!!! (The orchestra attacks tempestuous) Long live the clown Zozo, the reformer!!!


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encouragements! Mercyyy! (Ripe tomatoes, addle egs and spaghetti with bolognese sauce andsteady fried onion)

The Pony: Is it over?!

Caroline: No. Its just really starting. Round two! (in the background, delirious applauses mixedwith whistles of rural niff.)

The Pony: Tell me whats going on.Is it happening something or not? Im dying to know!

Caroline: What is it supposed to happen? The bored gibbon started to confuse Zozo with a newpunching bag and the audience is delirious. It is the only number which they asked it once moreand the gibbon acts like a real professional without betraying his emotions. He knows how torespect the audience , he even tries new figures to the delight the ones from the pit.

The Pony: Yuppee yaya yuppee yuppee ya! Original thing.If he accepts to become his manager,

I will give him a box with bananas ,although he seemed a little bit sullen when he stared betweenthe grate at the extreme sports from the tv of the guard.

Caroline: Yah. I think this monkey discovered its vocation and is going to leave us soon for the

Olympics.

Scene 9

(The Mother, The Father)

The Mother:You have left me on my own, as usual, to fight with all the thieves.Where are yougoing, Rudolph? You have vanished in the moment I most needed you. This child also needs afather to get involved in her education not just a character who offers her a lot of lollipops onholidays. Who is she going to talk to if it isnt with you?I surprised her yesterday talking on herown near the tail of that old pony on which children climb on, between breaks. On her own,Rudi.

What do you have to say about this? Do you think that is normal?

The Father: You exaggerate as usual... It is going to be solved. I married you just because youare independent and brave, Stella.

The Mother: Dont be ironic. You could have appealed to the services of a tank or bulldozer for

this. You can rent them if you didnt know this.Iron does not suffer.It is going to be solved... It is


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going to be solved... What is happening with you,with us, with the family, with our life? Gatheryourself, I dont recognize you anymore!

The Father: I cant make it.I am discouraged, Stella... since then Stella, yes, yes, since that

cursed night. It seems nothing happens as it should.

The Mother: Anchor yourself in the present. Gather yourself... You promised something to thatabject Zozo because he treats me too well? Why is he looking for you and sticks around Caro asa bloodhound? Truth, Rudi! I think you are aware that only the truth can save our marriage. Lookinto my eyes,in my eyes Rudi, tare like at the target I was tied of and on which I was waiting totingle, amative, your shining daggers near my scared temples!

The Father: I am ashamed.I am very ashamed of what I was willing to accept in the case inwhich Zozo would have left us in the street and out of the troupe.

The Mother: I have got to know you so well that I read you like a menu.You fool. I want to

know everything from you. Everything. What did you promise to that sorrowful? Confess, Rudi,for the sake of the past!

The Father: I promised him that... I will think about his offer.

The Mother: What do you have to think about?! What offer?

The Father: If I...should sell or not Caro for his magic numbers... I am a scurvy idiot.

The Mother: !!!

The Father: Forgive me Stella, I am a distorted father and husband.A shitty worm.The Mother: !!!

The Father: Yes, yes, you heard well.

The Mother: It is the first time in your life when you succeded to leave me spechless.Youshould have been a two bit actor. You have what it takes. Well done. This outrageous stupiditysurpasses all the other ones. Thats it, I had it... You have changed very much. I wouldnt have

thought that you are even capable of thinking about this horrification. Its time for us to say oneanother with elegance goodbye. We split everything equal... Fifty-fifty. Caroline stays with me

and the set of silver knives keep it for your next victim... I hope for you to find soon anotherbrave one who you are going to blind her eyes with mascara and convince her to tie herself onher own to the target. Farewell.

The Father: No.

The Mother: What no?!


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The Father: You wont do this. Without you two, I risk to become an absolute zero.

The Mother: I have tried everything.I give up... Nothing can make me change my decision. Itsirrevocable.

The Father: Yes. From now on I swear to become again the man you met 20 years ago and whoyou loved as your single God. I swear!

Scene 10

(Caroline, The Pony)

The Pony: Caroline tell me openhearted, do you consider me in some way your friend?

Caroline: The best, Oxford and if I think more, you are the first real friend from my life.Nomero uno. I was friend on a ship with a Chinese girl that we got along from gestures but thiswent on only one afternoon and I dont think it counts. As for the rest I dont remember having

other friends... Are you crying?!

The Pony: Shetland ponies dont cry. A drop of dew falls down their face sometime because ofthe dust or the spotlights and to everyone that seems so ordinary that after a while this thing isnot even remarked... We are too small to afford being sentimental, arent we?

Caroline: If you say so. I have to note this down also... Why do you ask?

The Pony: It seems that you are hiding something from me and with a friend there have to be nosecrets. Tell me about what was the most beautiful day from your life.

Caroline: The most beautiful day from my life? The way I went to a picnic together with myparents on a double bike and we all ran to catch imperial butterflies until late... As for the rest Idont remember a different day. Im sure this was the one... When we came back we tied all of

them with a thin silk leash and I sat like that in the arms of my father with my hand risen until Ifell asleep...

The Pony: Wonderful. Im going to write an article on this theme if you allow me. You have

beautiful memories. Do you have other ones also?


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Scene 12

(The Nile Crocodile, Caroline, The Pony, The owner of the circus,

The Father, The Mother)

The Nile Crocodile: Lasciate ogni speranza, voi che entrate qui... What are you doing here?

Didnt you see what is written on the sign from the entrance?

Caroline: I didnt, dear Mister Nile Crocodile. So good that we can communicate. Im here for a

lesson. I heard that you are polyglot.

The Nile Crocodile(bored):Very. I dont offer tutorials. You know very well that I cant standpeople, since they took me away from my swamp, putting me to sleep with a gun.I detest you,

although I have taken possession of your language! Konnichiwa! For the last time! What bringsyou here?

Caroline: I came here for you to eat me. Im on sell.

The Nile Crocodile: You are so straight! Bussinesses then... Nice introduction... trs agrable!Make yourself comfortable!

Caroline: Thank you! I heard that the sweetness of the human meat surpasses the one of anymeat on earth.

The Nile Crocodile: Thats true! Checked and tested! Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum!!! I forgotabout this since I am fed with leftovers of dead birds and raw eggs. Its good that you remindedme.Eww! You seem to have fragile and flavoured bones. My maxillary trembles only when Ilook at you... How do you want to be swallowed?

Caroline: Romantic and by surround... I dont doubt that you are a real professional... after the

sign from the entrance. I didnt have the opportunity to be eaten by someone with style until

now... Advise me!

The Nile Crocodile: Oui, oui! Oh, but that is very easy. The style is the crocodile itself! ...Comecloser. Should I put on some ambient music? Good, good... You have a very pretty tartan dress!

Caroline: Its new. A Christmas present from my parents. I hope it wont derange you at the

swallowing. I wouldnt want to give up on it just now.

The Nile Crocodile: Niet. I will handle... It doesnt count the details problem. Cotton is

digestible if you dont have in your pockets some coins or clots of chewing gum. Come! ...Do

you have any last wish? Do you want to taste something before...? Candy floss? Jelly? Peanuts?


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Documents

Caroline and the Pony