Caring for Mom at Home: Remembering Emotional Needs

You may recall my sister Cindy, but if you do not,allow me to give you a brief outline: My sisterowned a really successful stuff-handling businessfor many years, but she gave it up to care for ourparents in their later years. The time was right forour parents and my sister certainly needed her.Along the way, Cindy acquired much insight.

I'd like to share a modest but crucial piece of thepenetration Cindy understood while caring for ourmother -- the need for focusing on the mental needsof the maturing parent/patient, and never lettingthe need for "physical attention" to become yourentire relationship.

Once you read Cindy's comments below, I wouldrecommend that you just seek assistance should youget consumed with the "physical caring" only andlost the chance to totally enjoy the emotional andrelationship needs of your beloved.

She was totally reliant and bound, while caring for my very ailing Mum in the last years of her life.Due to problems in coming off the ventilator whilst in the hospital, she was sent home with atracheotomy that she continued to live with. She had a feeding tube for nutritional support not tomention, she had a urinary catheter. The extensive amount of attention that had to be delivered toMother every day was overwhelming at times. It was important to help keep catheter website thetracheotomy website, and also the feeding tube website really clean to prevent disease. Along withchanging and bathing her continuously, it was a very busy 24 hours.

However there was something I tended to forget. When you are focused on a your loved one'sattention and ensuring you get it right, you can occasionally forget about the psychological needs ofyour loved one. Here are a few things I learned:

Ensure their room is light with a lot of keepsakes about. Try to reminisce regarding the importanceof a particular keepsake with them and allow them to tell stories of its own importance to you.

If at all possible, have their bed near a window to allow them to look out. My mom enjoyed birds andthe squirrels we fed outside her window. Place pictures in their favorite scenes in their own field ofvision, if no window is available.

Listen with their history. My mother particularly enjoyed me to pay attention to her talk about herservice in seeing VHS movies about the war with her and WWII as a Morse code operator.

Take time for attractiveness! I learned to spend additional hours applying the lotions she loved,brushing my mum's hair, and filing her nails.

Stop and spend time together. Occasionally my mom just needed me to sit with her and hold herhand. She loved me reading to her until she fell asleep.

Toward the end of Mom's time she said to me, "Please hug me, no one has embraced me lately." Itbroke my heart to believe I had missed this very unique portion of her care. With all the ongoingwork that was daily to make sure her physical care was finished, I had forgotten among the mostcrucial facets of care giving - spending mommy and loving -daughter time with my Mom.

Should you find yourself in a scenario such as this, where so much physical care is beingadministered by you that there doesn't seem to be hours or energy please seek help. Being acaregiver can be challenging. There are health professional services which could enable you thattime you and your loved one really want so you can be a daughter again.

Home Care