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By: betsisandersBy: betsisandersBy: betsisandersBy: betsisandersBy: betsisandersBy: betsisandersBy: betsisandersBy: betsisanders

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What can you see?You will only see what I want you

to see. At my age, I haverealized and accepted thatthere are a lot of stuff that Imay never have; there arethings that I can never do; andthat who I am now is all thatI'll ever be. At this age, I amlimited by my talent, financialcapabilities, physical disabilitiesor handicap, lack of opportunityor m sse oppor un es; evenlimited by connections - who'swho, whom I've never met norwill ever meet... and for lackof time.

That man is you... trying to seeme, but you will only see what Iwant you to see.

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SunlightHave you heard the song Save the

Sunlight by Lani Hall, or Like aLover by Sergio Mendez,Sunlight by Kevin Lettau andTower of Power's You Can't FallUp. These are just some of myfavorite songs. What do thesesongs have in common? They aresongs about love and life. How thesun, the moon , the stars become

your most loved one. .. and howone cannot fall up , but just fall.

The sunrise and the sunset are themost used subjects in paintings. AsI see the sun over the horizon, Ifeel His presence, Hisomnipotence. I feel His lovethrough those beautiful 'picture-perfect' sunsets... and after thelong dark lonely night, He wakesme up and showers me with Hislove through a most magnificentsunrise.

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The lady loves

flowers & heelsHappiness is receiving flowers.

Happiness is being able towalk without a limp, withoutthe aid of crutches or acane, and most specially,to be able to wear heelsand walk with ease andgrace.

Who doesn't love flowers? I.

than flowers, I lovewearing heels. I'm barely 5feet in height , too short.After my spine surgery in1997, I wasn't allowed to

wear high heels for longperiods of time.

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Prayer Why do you pray? ... and

...How do you pray?

I pray not because I wantsomething or needanything... not because I'min trouble nor hurt nor I'mdamaged, distressed,miserable or suffering. ..not because life is hard.

I pray to thank God. If

your only prayer is a prayerof thanks then that willsuffice.

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I Forgive You

Some people are like slinkies --- notreally good for anything, but theybring a smile on your face whenpushed down the stairs.'...MEAN.... yes. I'm sure you feelthe same way about your frenemiesand they feel the same way aboutyou too.

This is just a monstrous thought, aharmless funny thought. You can

just laugh at it. No further action isnecessary. You have released youremotions and then you can simply goback to what you were doing. .. or

you can choose to forgive.to forgive and be forgiven is maturity.

ave een ens ave y eep ur sand have built up walls or fortressesof unforgiveness. While myfrenemies, the unforgiven, just gotup and go... they brushed off thedust of unforgiveness and went onwith their lives.

I choose to forgive ..not to benefitothers but to do myself the favor ofwalking away, to be free from thepain and release them all to Him,,who is the ultimate judge.

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I Forgive You

This is what I intend to do....Forgiveness is easier said than done.... butI will try this. I forgive you for the damage that you have done. Iforgive you for the pain that you have caused me. I forgive you fortaking advantage of my kindness. I forgive you for all the lies youhave told about me. I forgive you not loving me back. I forgive you forthe relationship that had been severely damaged.

I will say this over and over. I will repeat it, say it over and over when Iam alone. At first it will just be on the mind level. The hurt and the, .

small nudge for the resentment and hurt to surface once again....Onlya shift in perception can finally excise it....if I fail today, I will startagain tomorrow. I will call on the universe until it helps me to forgiveand to let go, until the pain and the hurt will cease to exist.

(Portions of this was taken from an article I read, written by Ms. GildaCordero-Fernando. Thank you Madam, you helped me a lot with what

you wrote and as I publish this blog, others may benefit from it too.)

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Theres NothingTo Hide

"Growth happens at any age. A seven year old maymature early when life is hard or maturity mayelude an 80 year old grandfather, who has refusedto learn from the mistakes he has committed in hislifetime.

Life is about choices. Follow your heart and you willnever go wrong. Do not be embarrassed to say no.How many social functions are we 'forced' toattend? We treat them as bothersome obligationsrather than joyful happenings.

We become more and more honest as we get older. Wechoose whom we want to see or prefer not to atthe moment. He or she may be someone you love,used to love, like or used to like. It doesn'tmatter. It won't matter . You'll survive it and he/she will too.

Growing old is having the freedom of not having to say' '. , .

It is learning to keep your mouth shut lest youutter sharp criticisms or hurtful words. Grown upsshould not indulge in gossip.

Growing old is having the courage to detach from aperson, a group or activity that we feel no longermakes us grow. Or drags us down.Old people nolonger do things to please anybody."

There is no need to hide anything, or hide fromanybody. Everything is out in the open. Take me orleave me. Love me or hate me. It doesn't matteranymore. My time is short and one day, nothing willmatter anymore.

Only one will matter to me. Him.

[ Quotes from "When I Grow Up" by Ms. GildaCordero-Fernando]

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My

World

Walking on Eggshells by Jane Isay

I've read this book and please allow me toquote directly from it. I will rewrite whatMs Jane had written, add my own personal

information and experiences, blend my lifewith those of people she had writtenabout. I would have wanted to write thison my own but I am not a good writer likeMs. Jane. What she has written explainsto me how and why things happen andhappened in my life. It will make meunderstand why and how to live with asibling, a child, a parent, a relative oreven a friend, who suffers from apsychiatric or psychological problem. It willhelp me cope with this difficult life when I

am 'walking on eggshells'.

ow o create, preserve or restore t eunique treasure that is family love whenthere was none to begin with? How do Isustain, maintain and keep relationshipswith my friends, partners, lovers, whenthe love has waned, the trust is gone, andthe friendship is over?

I have one father, one mother, two

sisters. They are all that I once had. Ivalue them and love them. ... and I doexpect to be valued and loved in return.How do I create, restore, or preservethat family love when one has chosen tolive a continent away, ...away not justfrom me but from our entire family.

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My WorldIn this age of technology, where people are reconnected... long lost classmates from grade school,

schoolmates from college, even neighbors have been 'found' through networking sites like Facebook, Multiply,Blogspot or even for the 'not for smart people' Twitter.

All my life, my parents have always told me to understand my sister Victoria, to give her more attention, toextend my patience and never to snap at her, because she is 'special'... one who is emotionally challenged.

Is there really such a thing as a happy family? Those who claim to belong to a happy family all work andthink together about how to make things right. But any family who makes you think it is perfect is covering upthe truth. Don't we all wish to belong to a perfect happy family, those wonderful parents with perfect grown upchildren, no conflicts, no problems. I have come to realize that they only show you what they want you to see...and that someone in that family is working doubly hard to make a good impression. I am referring to the family Igrew up with, not the family I made.

Fights and reconciliations. Pain and joy are the stuff of human life. Expectations not met, feelings hurt,serious mistakes by everyone... that is what real life is made of. What needs to be done is how to stayconnected through the hard times; how to maintain the balance between closeness and distance that works for allof us... and to make sure that the bonds don't break. Easy to say but quite difficult to do.

Conflict in any relationship is scary. It takes a tremendous amount of confidence to lay your cards on thetable. Most people don't have the courage to fight, because they are afraid of permanently damagingrelationships. They use other means to deal with differences. They choose and take the alternate route.

Distance is her friend. She has put up walls, huge heavy brick walls to keep us away from her life, to keep

us from getting too close and by doing so, years have passed, many years. She seldom writes or calls. She sendse-cards or roses... that's it. That's about it. .. and that is all that will ever be. Physical distance cansometimes help maintain harmony where conflicts exist. The geographical distance has enabled her to be herself.

back. I will choose to walk away and never return.Old fights, new issues...they have kept people apart emotionally. Perhaps we are both disappointed in one

another. We are too demanding, and our disappointment shows, or, our old quirks still rub them the wrong way.There are holes in my heart created by failed relationships. However, there are others who patiently and

lovingly fill up these holes in my heart and she is my other sister Maria. I also have many friends and relativeswho make up for the shortcomings of my frenemies and sister Victoria.

Elizabeth David said, There are people who take the heart out of you, and there are people who put itback.

I am not the only one walking on eggshells here. We all do. But what we should do is try to keep the peaceand never give up on those we love. As they say, "Never give up on love." If you still find it very difficult, then

just let things be. Time could probably heal and repair all wounds. If not, then so be it. At the end of the day,you can truly say that you did your best. If one person appreciates what you do, the that is enough. If no oneappreciates, you know well that He does and thats more than enough.

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Peace &

Freedom

As Ms. Gilda Cordero-Fernando wrote inthe Sunday paper, "Freedom is oneof the perks of getting old.I can go

anywhere I wish and with whom. Ornot show up. I can dress any way Iwant, avoid funerals or goldenanniversaries. I can join a safari (ifI can walk), or enroll for adoctorate, or learn how to put onmake up and false eyelashes, orlearn to cut hair or disappear intothe maw of an ashram.I can be assilly as I want, or wear bling-blings,or be as glittery as Lady Gaga? Ican undergo liposuction, tummy tuckor go through what they call a

".I can do whatever I want. At my age,

who cares if I sleep til noon, or if Iwatch DVD's until dawn? Who caresif I cook and bake for days? Whocares where I go or how I spend?..or if I all I do is type away on mycomputer, blog, or just surf the

web. That's freedom.The lady writer also said that "Freedom

also recognizes other people'sfeelings." I say, "...most speciallymy feelings. If it doesn't feel right, or feel good, I'll walk away, stayaway."

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My LifesAbstractions

What is life's abstractions? It is whateveryou think it is. It is whatever I feel atthis moment, and that can change anytime. It is freedom of expression. It isyour freedom of interpretation. They can

represent anything that comes to yourmind at this time. It is anything,something or simply nothing.

It is what I want you to see...only thosethat I want to show. I may be criticized,misunderstood, judged. It doesn't matter.

Life is what I make it. Life is what I dowith it. Life can be beautiful when Icreate. Life can be a drag if onedestroys. As much as possible, I do not

wish to hurt or tear down anyone.I have no control of what you think orw at you ee . w at say or odispleases you, then, I will choose to walkaway from you.

As I have quoted Dan Brown ..'there arethose who create and those who teardown'.. I know which one I choose to be.If it isn't good enough for you, it is goodenough for me. ... and that is all that

matters. In the end, only He matters.

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Beautiful

Wings

Butterflies never know how beautiful theirwings are. It is only through the eyes, oureyes, other people's eyes, that their wingsare seen and appreciated.

Remember the song, "Vincent"? The songwas for Vincent Van Gogh. "Now Iunderstand, what you're trying to say tome. How you suffered for your sanity andhow you tried to set them free. They arenot listening , they are not listening still.Perhaps they never will." The lyrics are acall for help, a desperate call from peoplewho suffer quietly from overwhelmingsadness, frustration and depression. It isa loud cry to make life easy. It is ademand for people to not just listen butfor people to love them.

If only Vincent had seen his beautiful...

Basic human need... to be loved, neededand accepted.

I am so lucky to have loving people aroundme. I am fortunate to have friends andfamily who fill the holes in my heart. Eachday is another opportunity to do well,another occasion to celebrate life, andanother moment to be happy.

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Candy Candy, represents youthfulness. You don't see a 50 year old like me with this

candy in my mouth while I walk in the malls. But younger kids, high school girlsstill walk around with this lolly sticking out from their mouths. I don't rememberthe last time my 17 y/o son asked me to buy him a whistle pop or that candypop that is shaped like a pacifier. we used to buy a big plastic full of these'pacifiers' , but he would only eat a certain flavor and the flavors he didn't likeend up being given to his cousins. I would have enjoyed those l ittle 'suckertreats', but my 'diabetes conscience' told me not to.

This is probably the last summer that I will 'bond' / spend time, with my son...... since our family driver resigned last month and i haven't found areplacement, it is mom, me, who brings Alvin to his violin and piano lessons atthe UP college of Music. Sometimes, I let him drive the car, hoping that whenthe school year starts, he will be able to drive himself to school. In themeantime, I will drive for him and enjoy this summer that we will always betogether, to bond, to have small petty arguments, have fun dinners together, goshopping in the mall, watch movies and simply be there for each other... Thissummer will be most memorable, because my young boy is turning 18 on may 24,will be a little man and not a young boy anymore ;]

He goes out with a group of guys who play anime songs.Aalvin plays thekeyboard. His friend Kris plays the drums. 2 other guys play the guitars and 2nice girls from St Bridget and Miriam College are their vocalists. They will havea gig this Saturday at the Metrowalk, i still have to find out where their gig willbe held.

I have always dreamed that my son will become a doctor, or a dentist, but he, .....

that is his calling, then I just have to support him. =]

I've always told him that I have a very successful friend in Dentistry , who hasa successful dental practice and is even Chairman of the Board of Dentistry, buthe plays nightly at a bar on keyboard for this 8 track band. I told Alvin that hecan become a doctor and still play in a band. =[ maybe my friend can talk to myson and give him some advice.

Alvin is growing up really fast, too fast, and I am trailing behind him. He ismore intelligent than mom, never in a bad mood and tolerates all of mom'smoods.Aalways remember ,,,, mom will always be mom even when i am old and grey;

Mom and Dad loves you more than anyone and anything in this whole world.

Next time I ask you to buy cotton candy , pls do.. it's just like old times, iIlleat a piece and you eat the rest. I'd like to eat them all but I might just findmyself in a diabetic coma, I wouldn't want to miss everything you'll do in youryoung life. Pray that mom will live a little longer to see you become a greathandsome guy, loved by many.

Thanks for accompanying mom to America. Mom never travels alone... and it isfamily who will always be there for us.

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Contemplative

Prayer

Contemplative prayer was first done by monks in the 3rdcentury, who lived in isolation in desert mountains. St.Anthony of the Desert,a revered Egyptian monk, lived likea hermit, he moved away from society and lived in thedesert, in 270 A.D. Many others followed his lifestyle andbecame hermits. Eighty years later, the first monastery

was built and brought the hermits together under one roof.They lived 'monastic' lives in a congregation, instead ofeach one living alone in the desert.

Our Catholic practice of saying the rosary, when wecontemplate on the mysteries of the rosary andrepetitively say the prayers, the Our Father, Hail Mary &Glory Be, then visualize these mysteries, is contemplativeprayer.

Christian meditation is another popular method ofcontemplative prayer, where a strong emphasis is placed

on interior silence. The purpose is to clear the mind ofrational thought, in order to focus on the indwelling of

. ,eyes, relax, be quiet and try to be in love and faith withGod. They would then choose a sacred word like Jesus,God, Abba, Spirit, or love etc... Then they let the word begently present as their symbol of pure intention to be inthe Lord's presence, thus, they open themselves to thedivine action within them. Whenever they become aware ofanything (thoughts, feelings, perceptions, images, etc) ,they simply return to their sacred word, their anchor.

Mindful awareness... a form of meditation that can free onefrom intrusive thoughts. It helps stop a blue mood frombecoming a full blown depression. The idea is to identify adestructive thought pattern then simply label it, watch itand let it pass by whenever it happens in your mind.Follow the thought, then it will eventually disappear. Or,one can just free the mind from any thought, no thoughts,and feel the Presence, the Being. This too can be someform of contemplative prayer.

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The Cook

Atisha, a great bodhisattva in India,helped to spread Buddhism to Tibet in the11th century. When he went to Tibet, hetook his Indian cook with him. This cookwas very disagreeable, speaking harshlyand being rude and obnoxious to people.He even regularly insulted Atisha. TheTibetans asked, "Why did you bring thisperson with you? We can cook for you. Youdon't need him!" But Atisha said, "I doneed him. I need him to practicepatience."

So when someone criticizes me I think,"He is an incarnation of Atisha's cook."

When people with whom we don't get alongpoint out our faults to us, we have to look

at them. We can't run away anymore.When we're outrageously angry, burningwith jealousy or attachment is eating awaya us, we can eny a we ave esenegative emotions. Of course, we try tosay that it's the other person's fault,that we have these horrible emotions onlybecause they made us have them.

But after we've listened to the Buddha'steachings, this rationale doesn't work anymore. We know in our hearts that ourhappiness and suffering come from our own

mind. Then, even though we try to blameour difficulties on other people, we knowwe can't. We are forced to look at themourselves. And when we do, we also seethat they are incredible opportunities togrow and learn.

This is taken from "Buddhism In ModernSociety"by: Venerable Thubten Chodron

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The Cook There are so many 'cooks' in my life. They are those ungrateful, unappreciative,

user- friendly frenemies that have created holes in my heart. This Buddhistteaching tells me to learn from these individuals. Patience is what they 'll teachme. Instead of getting angry, irritated or lose sleep thinking about them, I shallignore, walk away like the 'duck', and be with people who are appreciative,thoughtful and loving,

Growing up in a Catholic school, we were taught to "love our enemies". I couldnever understand, grasp or accept this teaching because it was very difficult todo. It was like a command, an order, that was very hard to follow.

But with the way it is explained by the Buddhist teachers, it seemed easier to

apply in my life. They give a more positive approach and that is to be tolerant ofothers, understand and learn from these 'cooks' and thereby learn patience.

We were also told that when one thinksof doing bad things to other people, onealready commits a sin. The mere thought was considered sinful. In Buddhistteachings, these are just monstrous thoughts. These monstrous thoughts are justregarded as thinking. These thoughts, whether monstrous or benevolent are justthoughts. They are neither virtuous nor sinful, just thoughts. No thoughtdeserves a gold medal or a reprimand. One can think of assassinating an enemyor baking a cake. these are just thoughts.

As I always find myself thinking all the time, I get tired and emotional. So, tosilence my mind, I paint, read, write, cook, or bake, go on the treadmill, watcha movie or listen to dance music, or I simply sit in silence or better still, I pray.

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Death & ImpermanenceThe great equalizer is death.

there is no point in gettingangry or upset at anyone or

anything. because oneday, it will all be equal. we

will all be equal. yourreatness our riches ourachievements, your richfriends... you will leavethem all behind. myinsignificance, my

smallness... will be leftbehind too. you and i are

equals in death.

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AbstractionsAbstractions... an abstracting or being abstracted.. what? let's try another meaning... formation

of an idea, by mental separation from particular instances or material objects. (?) try againplease ... an unrealistic or impractical notion hmmmm..... mental withdrawal or absentmindedness that's better!!!

Abstract ...thought of apart from any particular instances or material objects; not concrete; noteasy to understand ... just like life... is not easy to understand.

Abstracted ... means removed or separated; withdrawn in mind... absent minded

Abstract expressionism... is a post World War II movement in painting characterized by emphasison the artist's spontaneous and self expressive application of paint in creating anonrepresentational composition.

All these meanings are taken from Mr. Webster.

But what is life's abstractions??? It is whatever you think it is. It is whatever I feel at thismoment, and that can change any time. It is freedom of expression. It is your freedom ofinterpretation. They can represent anything that comes to your mind at this time. It isanything, something or simply nothing.

Life is what you make it. Life is what you do with it. Life can be beautiful if you create. Life can

be a drag if all you do is destroy or tear down. As I have quoted Dan Brown ..'there arethose who create and those who tear down'.. so, which one are you?

I know which one I choose to be... love, love lots & truly love......... betsisanders /blog written on July 18, 2010

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More Abstractions

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Mind

Boggling

The title of this abstract painting is 'MindBoggling".It's part of My Life's Abstractions.Itcould mean anything and everything.

It's 330 am... once again, I am awake at thewee hours of dawn, despite taking 4different medications whose side effectsare supposed to cause drowsiness andsleepiness. One is even cautioned to drivea vehicle when taking these medicines.But... they seem to only work half thetime they should be working on me. So,here I am again, awake at this ungodlyhour.

This sleeplessness can cause or trigger CPS

Chronic Pain Syndrome, the cycle ofsleeplessness, that causes sadness andcould have been caused by suffering orphysical pain. I was actually in pain lastnight..had about 14 trigger points of paincharacteristic of fibromyalgia. But i didn'tallow myself to suffer the pain , I tookmy meds, slipped under the cool comforterand waited for them to take effect, thenI started painting and did it for twohours, until the drugs made me drowsy.Took out Jodi Picoult's book My Sister's

Keeperand started reading, that's whenI fell asleep around 130... two hourslater, I'm here typing away, instead ofstaring at the ceilings and walls orwatching some boring tv show, I try to beproductive .. who knows.. I might writesomething worth your while.

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Mind Boggling more thoughts

CPS... Chronic Pain Syndrome...is unrelenting, real and demoralizing. Ihave become a victim of this vicious cycle., in which my preoccupationwith pain had led to irritability and depression.... SSS, sleeplessness,sadness and suffering .. this terrible triad is Chronic Pain Syndrome.

But I have learned to survive and deal with this syndrome. I do not let itruin my days or nights anymore. I have learned to counter all itssymptoms... My best friend and confessor told me to substitute theS's... to sleepy, smile and suffering- free... thanks Ninong Alan, Ialways try to follow your advice, my dear friend and 'confessor'...iwish you had become a priest, so you'll be a true father confessor forme.

It is a required condition of loving someone and being loved back (RobertFulghum)

This is the basic requirement for friendships to last... and you know whatelse is necessary for friendships to last. Fulghum said, Gratitude is asolemn acknowledgment of kindness received.. and to show you howgrateful I am for your love and friendship, I just love you back.

I woke up this morning with a solemn and devout feeling of gratitude foryour friendships. According to Elizabeth David There are those peoplewho take the heart out of you and there are those people who putthem back. Here's a toast to these lovely ladies.... love, love lots,and truly love !!!

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My Colorful Pet Be a trained parrot who

do not speak ill ofothers, but brings cheerto children and adults.

What a lovely beautiful.can you not believe thereis a God? This creature,this parrot is just one ofGod's creations. Believe

in God. I do.

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Peaceful

Pond

Peaceful pond... just an idealplace where one can be still andquiet.

One can learn to be at peace inthe midst of traffic during rushhour or in a fast food place filledwith hungry people during lunchhour. Any place, anywhere, any timeis good. One can learn to be quietand be at peace even in the middleof all the chaos and the "busy-ness"of life.

Keep still. Focus on yourbreath. Silence your mind. If a

thought comes, follow it and watchit go away. One easy way to free

your next thought. This way, yourmind will be free of any thought.Learn to appreciate the goodness inyour surroundings, the goodness inthe people around you, and thegoodness that is in all of us.

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SolitudeSOLITUDE... state of being completely alone; being cut off

from human contact; also means isolation or physicalseparation from other people; seclusion or confiningoneself to one's home or a remote place separate fromthe outside world.

Some people had worn me out. I felt very tired, lacked

patience, intolerant of their moods, and most oftensimply irked by their presence. I had been very criticalof their needs, demands, problems. Instead ofsympathy, empathy or compassion, I found myselfresenting them more and more. We were just too closefor comfort and I retreated to my own little world andkept a distance.

I dreaded hearing mass on Sundays. There was no solemnityin the service. I get distracted by some over-dressedwoman, irritated by little children, had lost myconcentration and couldn't understand the priest'ssermon.

By being still and simple, I emptied my spirit. I had becomean empty vessel, devoid of thoughts, monstrous

. ,my negative emotions, fear, anger, hurt, sadness. Isaid to myself, that what bothers me now, right will notmatter or bother me ten years from now. Only then doI become calm and peaceful.

In solitude, I learned to love myself more. I realized that ifother people are ganging up on me, it does not matter.They do not matter. I have discovered, unearthedthings inside me and fulfilled my dreams. The creativehalf of myself revealed the real me.

Where does this creativity come from? From Him, Who isinside me all the time. I sought Him in churches ormonasteries, in the confines of my bedroom, in theprivacy of my bathroom. He manifests His presenceanywhere... even at the 'corner of this little garden'.

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Two Ducks

There will always be 'two ducks' inall of my paintings.

After two ducks get into a fight,which doesn't last long, theyseparate and go off in oppositedirections. Then each duck flaps itswings vigorously o release thesurplus and pent up energy or angerbuilt up during the fight. Afterwhich, they flap their wings and flyaway on opposite directions. They

fly on peacefully, as if nothinghappened.

I am one of those ducks who choseto walk away, fly away as far awayas I could... to live in peace, to loveonly those who love me back and totry to be happy most of the time, ifnot, all the time.

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The Two Ducks Remember the two ducks? We've all been offended at one

time or another. An exchange of hurtful and angry wordsuttered in the heat of the argument; the need to retaliate,attack, fight and punch back; to speak with scorn anddisrespect that only meant to hurt, offend, insult, assault tocause damage. After a while, you go on separate ways. Even

,encounter, but you choose to erase all the painful memories.After a long while, you've finally forgotten, if not, forgiven.Just like the two ducks who flapped their wings and flewoff in separate ways... as if nothing ever happened. I am oneof those ducks.

betsisanders / May 2010

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Two Magnificent Swans"I know I haven't stopped

growing up. I still have a lotof questions. I seekanswers. I face moreobstacles and will learn fromthese. It will never beenough. Once I stop asking,learning, doing and being,and when there is no more

' ,it'll be my sweet ending.

Two magnificent swans arethe two most importantpersons in my life. Theyare my reasons for living.

Calm 2011 is dedicated to mytwo boys