by PEg Bo wman Eucharist not - Pastoral Planning€¦ · NEW LONDON, CT 06320 Eucharist Sacraments At hom E with the Sharing Jesus by PEg Bo wman Bowman Eucharist (jeff/Dan final).indd

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Eucharist

At homE w ith the Sacraments

Sharing Jesus

by PEg Bowman

Bowman Eucharist (jeff/Dan final).indd 1 3/8/13 1:04 PM

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Introductionin our parish, we have the custom of bringing small children up to the front of church to receive a blessing when older family members come to receive the eucharist. it’s not un-common for a baby in the arms of a parent to reach out and try to take the host from the priest or extraordinary minister of communion. sometimes toddlers coming for a blessing are heard to cry out, “but i want the bread, too!” or even, ”i want to have Jesus, too!”

These little children are still leading us, reminding us of what a privilege it is to receive the body and blood of christ, to “have Jesus” for ourselves. Just as they often feel left out of games and activities enjoyed by older family members, these little ones may feel left out as we leave them behind or pass over them when it’s time to receive the eucharist. They seem to know instinctively that receiving this holy bread is a sign of community membership.

of course, our children became members of the church at baptism. at that time you promised to raise your child as a member of the church, teaching our faith by word and ex-ample. The priest and congregation prayed that your child would one day eat the bread of life. it’s time for those prayers to be answered. it’s time to welcome your child to the table of the lord. coming forward to eat the body of christ and to drink his blood marks a person as a member of the christian family, the church community. clearly this sacrament called eucharist is—along with baptism and confirmation—a sacra-ment of initiation.


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Sam and Joeyas we begin, there are some important questions to be asked. To illustrate these questions, let me tell you about two families who showed up in my office during the same week. First eucharist was scheduled for april. in early February the parents of the first family appeared at my door with the news that their little boy, sam, needed to make his First communion. They were strangers to me, but their address showed that they lived down the street, so i assumed they’d just joined the parish and i welcomed them into our neigh-borhood.

They were puzzled by my welcome. “oh, no, we’re not new,” they replied. “we’ve lived in this house for twelve years and have been members of this parish all that time. our daughter made her First communion five years ago.”

That would put her in our seventh-grade religious educa-tion class, i figured. but i had never met them or any child of theirs. Their second grader, sam, had never been to a religious education class. Further conversation revealed sam had never even been to Mass.

i was mystified. They were members of the parish who rarely went to Mass and had never enrolled sam in a religion class, and now they wanted him to make his First communion.

did i have this straight? They assured me that i did.“why do you want sam to make his First communion?” i

asked, posing what seemed to me to be an obvious question.now sam’s parents seemed mystified. “why? because he’s

seven years old! don’t kids always make their communion when they’re seven?”

Two days later, the parents of the second family came to see me. i knew this family well. all three of their children were in our religious education program. Joey, their youngest, was


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in second grade and had been in the class preparing for First eucharist all year.

Today, however, Joey’s parents seemed concerned. “we want to delay Joey’s First eucharist,” they said. They weren’t speaking of a delay of weeks, but of at least a year.

“after we went to that parent meeting, watched the film, and participated in the discussion, we went home to talk this over,” they told me. “we know that Joey isn’t ready. our girls were ready in second grade. They were aware of what was happening. it mattered to them. Granted, these kids are only seven, but we believe that even seven-year-olds can appreciate the eucharist more than our Joey does. he’s just not ready. we watch him at Mass and during family prayer or when we’re going over his religion lesson with him. he’s not taking any of this seriously or showing the least bit of interest. he’s looking forward to a party and gifts. we want it to mean more than that. if we wait a year, or even two, it could make a big difference. Please let us bring Joey back next year and try this again when he’s grown up a little more. we want him to want the eucharist.”

neither sam nor Joey received the eucharist that year. sam’s parents were unhappy, but they gradually came to real-ize that there was more to receiving the sacrament than meet-ing an age requirement. Joey’s parents remained happy with their decision, especially when Joey walked up the aisle the following year eager for his First communion.

Some important questionswhat are your reactions to these stories?

should family participation in the sacramental life of the church be a factor in determining whether a child can receive a sacrament or not? should sam have been admitted into the First eucharist class that year or not? was it fair to him to


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make him wait? were his parents being “judged”?should a child’s behavior at Mass and his or her interest

in religious subjects and activities be a factor in determining readiness for the eucharist? should Joey have been admitted into the First eucharist class that year or not? was it fair to him to make him wait? were his parents “judging” him? did they have a right to do that?

where do you fit in?The Catechism of the Catholic Church, explaining the teaching of the second Vatican council regarding the role of parents, states:

The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute. The right and the duty of parents to edu-cate their children are primordial and inalienable. . . .

Parents have the first responsibility for the edu-cation of their children. (CCC 2221 and 2223)

in conversations with parents over the years, i’ve found peo-ple falling into three general categories regarding that teach-ing about the role of parents.

some parents take this very seriously and actively strive to participate in their children’s religious education. There are even some in this first category who do all religious education at home and choose not to participate in parish programs of-fered for their children.

other parents report that they agree with the statement, but that they live up to it by bringing their children to a par-ish school or religious education program so that trained peo-ple can provide formal education. They say they are educators “by example.”


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a third group of parents say that they in no way can be religious educators of their children. it’s the church’s place and problem, they say, not theirs. some even go so far as to say they won’t take their children to church or to any reli-gion classes, but will let them “pick their own religion” when they’re old enough.

you probably fall into one of these general categories and undoubtedly know people within all three. which group is “right”? actually, there’s an element of “rightness” in all three.

Parents are the primary educators of their children about the eucharist. you began to teach your child about the eucharist from the moment the child could observe whether or not you go to sunday Mass.

Parents who choose to teach their children entirely by themselves and apart from a parish class are correct in show-ing their children how important religion is within their fam-ily, but they seem to contradict the lessons about unity and communion with others in the church community.

Parents who choose to abdicate all responsibility and leave the teaching about eucharist entirely to others are correct in seeking a parish program that provides formal religious training for their children, but they seem to imply that the eucharist is part of a church world that is separate from the everyday world of family life and has little to do with reality.

Parents who choose to provide no religious teaching at all, saying children can “pick a religion” later, are correct that we all do ultimately have to choose our own religion, but on what basis can their children choose, since they have no early experiences that can provide them with information for mak-ing their choice?

ideally, all religious education, and especially religious edu-cation about a sacrament, is a three-fold partnership. First are


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the child’s parent or parents. They teach about the eucharist formally and informally within the religious practices of home and family.

second are the religious education staff, the school princi-pal, the director of religious education, the parish schoolteach-ers, or volunteer catechists. They provide formal teaching of doctrine and classroom experiences of prayer and liturgy.

Third, and equally important, are the members of the par-ish pastoral staff—the pastor, pastoral associate, and liturgi-cal leaders—and the parish at large. They bring the formal teaching to life by providing and participating in liturgy. These three groups must be in dialogue with one another, supporting one another as they strive for a common goal: faith development and religious education for parish mem-bers of all ages.

Family participationso what about sam and Joey? should family participation be a factor in determining whether a child can receive a sacra-ment or not? certainly it should. sam’s family brought him to the church for First eucharist only because it was “time.” in their case it was highly likely that First eucharist might be only a ceremony to satisfy some cultural or family custom, not a ceremony to mark the beginning of regular participa-tion in communion with the whole church. how could we expect sam to be in full communion when his parents were not and had little intention of becoming so? what could we do?

we did this: we took steps to set up that three-fold struc-ture that i mentioned above. after i spoke with the pastoral staff about the situation, they and i, as the religious education part of the triangle, began a process of invitation to sam’s


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parents. we started with their request for him to receive First communion and invited them to learn more, to feel at home with us in the parish.

sam became part of our religious education classes even though he didn’t receive his First eucharist that year. his par-ents tentatively began to come to a few parish activities, espe-cially to events in which sam was taking part. when sam was nine years old he did receive his First eucharist because he real-ly wanted to. his parents didn’t become “model” parishioners, but they understood that their example had much to do with how and why sam was receiving the eucharist. They participat-ed more than they ever had before. They came because they’d been invited rather than because they felt they had to come.

was it fair to make sam wait? it wouldn’t have been fair to do otherwise. were his parents being “judged”? Perhaps they were, but not harshly, just realistically. we communicated with them carefully and respectfully. we let them know we really wanted sam and their whole family to join us whenever possible.

what about Joey? were his parents expecting too much of him? The final decision to have him wait until he was a bit old-er wasn’t made the day they came to speak with me. his par-ents, the pastor, and i talked things over with Joey. at no time was he made to feel he was being punished. when i spoke with him it seemed clear that his parents were correct. Joey didn’t really care much about the eucharist. his religion teacher re-inforced our observations that Joey didn’t take his studies seri-ously at all. he was a very “young” seven-year-old and didn’t take much of anything seriously. it seemed safe to assume that as he matured within a family who did participate at Mass and had an active family religious life, he would want to receive the eucharist along with his parents and older sisters.


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our experience with Joey made us think of a few other students who seemed equally disinterested, but whose parents had not come forward to ask that their First eucharist be de-layed. some of those parents, in fact, were especially eager for First eucharist to take place.

what should a pastor, a director of religious education, or a teacher do? it seems to me that within the three-fold structure it really is appropriate to ask, “is this child ready to receive the eucharist?” Parents should ask this question as they observe their child at Mass, as they pray in their home, and as they go over religion lessons with the child. religious educators should ask it as they observe classroom responses and mea-sure a child’s understanding of lessons and activities.

Readiness for the sacramentPastoral personnel should get a chance to interview each child at some time before First eucharist to observe readiness for the sacrament. while this may include checking to see if some verbal responses can be given correctly, or some prayers can be recited, it’s more appropriate that this interview try to gauge (admittedly rather subjectively) a child’s attitudes and deeper understanding of what is taking place.

we’re not looking for mini-theologians, but for children who know that the bread and wine are the body and blood of christ. we’re not looking for parrots who can recite all the basic prayers perfectly, but for children who know that those prayers and their own words are ways of communicating with the living God. we are not looking for wooden angels who can kneel bolt upright and unwiggling through an en-tire Mass, but for children who can respond to the dialogue prayers throughout the Mass, who can sing songs and say re-sponses familiar to them, who can enjoy being part of the


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parish community. such children might fidget or fail to pay attention during an adult-level homily, but they want to be with us and they want to join us at the lord’s table.

how do we get such children? we find them in families where prayer and religion are an everyday part of life and where participation at Mass is active and positive. we find them in parishes where adults pray and sing enthusiastically and continue to learn about their faith. in other words, when we ask the question, “are these children ready to receive the eucharist?” we can only answer it by asking, “are we—parents and parish—ready for them to receive the eucharist?”

so, this is about us, not our children. sometimes parents are surprised or even displeased to attend a parent meeting about First eucharist that is primarily aimed at adult faith. one father spoke up at such a meeting and said, “what’s all this about my faith and my understanding of the eucharist? Just tell me when to have my kid here on that sunday and what kind of clothes i have to buy for her. is she going to wear a veil? should i get her a rosary and a prayer book? These are the questions i have. why are you up there talking about a meal and a sacrifice and all of that? First communion is for my daughter, not for me.”

certainly, the approaching celebration of First eucharist is for your child. you want it to be a memorable day, a wonderful day. but this day is no isolated special occasion. it’s an early step on your child’s journey of faith—not the end of the journey. it will, hopefully, be the beginning of lifelong communion.

The bread and wine will be available to strengthen and grace your child at every step of life’s journey. For you, this First eucharist might be a chance for a new beginning, for a renewal of dedication to and appreciation of the eucharist. on First eucharist day, children begin a new part of their


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journey of faith, and many, many parents take the opportu-nity to begin again as well.

Complicated teachinga little girl in a second-grade religion class was excited about making her First communion. after several classes, however, she complained to her mother. “our teacher doesn’t know what she’s doing. she’s supposed to be getting us ready for First communion, but all she does is teach us how to go to Mass!”

Talking about the eucharist can get complicated. are we talking about the sacred bread and wine that become the body and blood of christ? are we talking about the Mass—the lit-urgy during which the bread and wine are transformed into christ himself? are we talking about an event in history—the last supper—or a daily event, or a continuing Presence in the tabernacles of our churches?

we’re talking about all those things and more. while teach-ing our children how to participate in the Mass, we’re also helping them understand that christ is truly present in many ways at Mass: in the word proclaimed, in the presiding cel-ebrant, in the assembled people of God, and in the bread and the wine.

we can see how complicated our teaching is when we look at the historical development of the eucharist. you may have been taught that the last supper was the “first Mass.” This can leave the false impression that Jesus gave the apostles some-thing entirely new, with no tradition behind it, or that he gave them his body and blood in the form of bread and wine with a full-blown liturgy of prayers and responses and hymns like the ones we use today. on the contrary, the sacrament given to us that night has roots deeply imbedded in history, and the liturgy we have today developed slowly.


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The Last SupperThe last supper was a traditional seder meal, a memorial of the exodus when Moses led the people out of egypt, after eating sacrificed lamb and unleavened bread. even today, the eucharist is connected to the exodus. as the ancient hebrews were set free from egypt using the sign of the blood of a lamb, we christians are set free from sin thanks to the real blood of Jesus, the lamb of God.

That having been said, it is also important to look at the ways Jesus departed from those traditions at his seder meal that we now call the last supper, for the departures are even more significant than the connections. Jesus, taking up the flat bread that the apostles were accustomed to passing, said as he broke it, “This is my body which will be given up for you.” as he took up the cup of wine to pass he said, “This is the cup of my blood, the blood of the new and everlasting covenant. it will be shed for you and for all so that sins may be forgiven.” The event and words are reported in Matthew 26:26–30, Mark 14:22–25, luke 22:15–20, and in 1 corinthians 11:23–25.

The Body and Blood of ChristFrom the very beginning, the church community has pon-dered and struggled, discussed and prayed about the meaning of Jesus’ words. did Jesus mean to say that the bread and wine truly become his body and blood, or do they signify or symbol-ize his body and blood? The earliest christians believed that the bread is truly the body of christ and the wine is truly his blood. over the centuries this teaching has been challenged many times, and many attempts have been made to change or modify it. some christian groups have believed that the bread and wine are only symbols. Through it all, however, the roman catholic church has held firmly to the belief that the bread is


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truly the body of christ and the wine is truly his blood.To say that the church has held firmly to this belief doesn’t

mean that our human understanding of the real presence of christ in the eucharist hasn’t grown or changed. This is a very complex doctrine, and while, at times, we have deepened our understanding of how christ is really present in the eucharist, there have been other times when some aspects of the teach-ing have been emphasized at the expense of other aspects.

remember that the eucharist has always been understood in two contexts, as a meal and as a sacrifice. The earliest church writings indicate that the first christians emphasized the meal aspect. later ages found the church emphasizing that the Mass is an ”un-bloody sacrifice” that reenacts the bloody sacrifice of Jesus himself on the cross.

Today we know the importance of keeping these contexts of the eucharist in balance. The Catechism of the Catholic Church proclaims, “The eucharist is the source and summit of the christian life. . . .For in the blessed eucharist is contained the whole spiritual good of the church, namely christ him-self, our Pasch.” (ccc 1324)

The manner in which each of us participates in the eucharist in our own parishes now will greatly influence our children. i was “waxing eloquent” about the eucharist to a class of fifth graders, speaking about how central the eucharist is to the life of faith in the catholic church, how important the bread of life is as food for our spiritual journey, how wonderful it is that Jesus wants to come and live within us and among us in this sacrament. stifling a yawn, ten-year-old sean remarked with the skeptical raise of one eyebrow, “yeah? well, if it’s so great and important, how come my dad doesn’t think so?”

so, it had come down to that—teacher versus parent; nice-but-sort-of-out-of-it woman versus a hero-dad. i knew any


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words of mine would be wasted. we were talking from differ-ent planets, different world views, different lives. i didn’t want sean for my student! i wanted his dad in my class.

well, i got my wish. sean’s younger sister was preparing for First eucharist. on the evening of the mandatory parent meeting, sean’s father arrived to put in his time at the meet-ing. slouched in his seat resentfully, he reminded me of his son. This meeting was not important to him, but his daughter was. he had come to fulfill the requirement so that she could have her special day.

during the meeting, people gathered in small groups to ask questions, challenge the film and the speaker, and discuss things among themselves. sean’s father was drawn out a little by the others in the group. he was intrigued by some of the things in the film and curious about the evident enthusiasm of some of the adults in the room.

“do you mean this stuff really matters to you?” he asked. “doesn’t it seem like superstition or childish mumbo-jumbo?”

another father in the group had an answer: “it used to seem like that to me, too. but then i admitted that i was just afraid to go into any of this any deeper. what if there was something to this? what if i could meet God? i was afraid of what i might hear and of how i might have to change. at the time of my first child’s First eucharist,” this father continued, “i had just been through a messy divorce. i was hurt and bitter and hadn’t been to Mass in years. still, i went to that First eucharist Mass, and i guess i was just more receptive because i was in so much pain, but i heard those prayers in the Mass as if for the first time. There were words in there about broken hearts being healed, about tears being wiped away, about coming to the table of the lord for forgiveness and peace. i borrowed a missalette from church that day and took it home to read over the words for


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myself. This stuff isn’t separate from real life like i thought it was. it’s real life. i want to make sure my kids learn that from me and from the teachers here at the parish.”

i don’t know if that man’s words touched sean’s father or not, but they certainly touched me. This eucharist of ours is real life. how can we remember that and teach it to our chil-dren? how can we help ourselves to learn it in the first place? what are the things we need to know?

Spiritual Strengthremember that the eucharist is closely linked to the exodus experience of the ancient israelites. Jesus established this sac-rament of his own body and blood as our feast of freedom. The escape from slavery isn’t just an event of long ago. you and i struggle to be free from many forms of slavery—addic-tion, consumerism, worry, unhealthy relationships, to name a few. you and i pass through trials and dangers and often wander in deserts of confusion or bleakness hoping to get to a promised land of personal peace.

if the eucharist is your food for your personal spiritual journey, then you know the strength and peace that can be found in gathering with other believers at the table of the lord and journeying together. if the eucharist has never been your food for spiritual strength and growth, it isn’t too late! The journey only ends when we die. This food is here for us now. This freedom from slavery is offered now.

can our young children understand this about the eucharist? Perhaps a little. but we can begin to tell them. we can promise them spiritual strength for the long journey ahead. what they learn most of all is what they see us doing in our lives. They see us either choosing the eucharist for spiri-tual strength or staying away from the sacrament. no mat-


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ter what their religion teachers and books teach them about the eucharist being food for life’s journey, they will first learn what their parents teach them by example.

Eucharist means thanksgivingPerhaps you grew up calling this sacrament “communion.” This is still a fitting name, because the word means “in union,” and in the eucharist we are brought into union with God and with each other. however, since the liturgi-cal reform of the second Vatican council, we find that the term eucharist is used more often, even in books written for young children.

The word Eucharist refers both to the elements of bread and wine and to the entire liturgy during which these ele-ments are blessed, broken, poured out, and shared. eucharist means “thanksgiving.” This name for the sacrament indicates the underlying theme running through every eucharistic cele-bration: gratitude to God for life, salvation, grace, and all that has been given to us.

Eucharist means serviceThere is, however, another, sometimes forgotten, aspect of eucharist that has been handed down to us from an action that Jesus performed at the last supper as related in the Gospel of John. in this gospel we read that Jesus bent down, basin and towel in hand, to wash and dry the feet of each apostle in a symbolic action of loving service. after Jesus did this astonishing thing, he said this to them:

do you realize what i have done for you? you call me “teacher” and “master,” and rightly so, for indeed i am. if, i, therefore, the master and teacher have washed your feet,


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you ought to wash one another’s feet. i have given you a model to follow, so that as i have done for you, you should also do (John 13:12-15).

This is a reminder that we and our children still need today. The foot-washing ceremony is part of the liturgy on holy Thursday evening, but this link between the eucharist and christian service is not always so clear.

of course, parents know a good deal about washing feet. little children need washing and feeding and constant atten-tion. without knowing it, they call forth from us an answer to that last supper mandate. and it was a mandate. (we even get the name “Maundy Thursday’’ for holy Thursday from the latin root word for mandate.) The translation i used here has Jesus saying, “as i have done for you, you should also do.” other translations put this as “you must also do.” Therefore, at the very time when we were given bread and wine as spiritual food and drink and asked to “do this in memory” of Jesus, we were also told that we must wash each other’s feet. That is, we are to wash, feed, shelter, clothe, teach, and generally care for anyone who comes our way wearing the face of christ. it might be easy enough to eat a little piece of bread and take Jesus home with us “in our hearts,” but eucharist demands more than that of us. if all we do is eat the little piece of bread and maybe take a sip of wine, we certainly have missed the point. with Jesus it really is a case of “love me, love my family,” and his family is everyone.

our “foot washing” or our service to christ’s family might happen at a soup kitchen or a recycling center, an overnight shelter or a nursing home. it might happen in the parish, in the community, or in our own backyard. no matter where it happens or how it looks or how often it is done or even


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whether you think about it or not, it is intimately connected with the eucharist.

The eucharist is a demanding sacrament. The image of people coming forward with mouths open or hands extended ready to be fed like little birds is not the image of eucharist that we find from Jesus in the gospels or from the letters of Paul, Peter, or John. The new Testament images of eucharist are all of a community called together to love one another, wash one another’s feet, and feed one another.

Eucharist, service, and our childrenone of the most famous and often retold miracles of Jesus is the feeding thousands of people with a few loaves and fishes. it is one of the few stories that is told in all four of the gospels. Jesus notices the plight of the people who have been gathered to hear him all day and decides to feed them himself. The mir-acle of the loaves and fishes is so important that Matthew and Mark both report it happening twice: once for five thousand and later for four thousand people. in the gospels of Matthew, Mark, and luke, there is no mention of any teaching about the eucharist in the telling of those miracles

it is the Gospel of John that adds Jesus’ teaching about the eucharist. after Jesus fed the crowd of five thousand, they re-turned the next day for more food. here the gospel gives us the long sermon in which Jesus said:

i am the bread of life. your ancestors ate the manna in the desert, but they died; this is the bread that comes down from heaven so that one may eat it and not die.

i am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever, and the bread that i will give is my flesh for the life of the world (John 6:48–51).


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besides the teaching about the eucharist, John’s version of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes includes one other tiny detail that is not in the synoptic gospels. in the beginning of chapter six, Jesus raised the question of how they could feed all the people. Philip told Jesus that two hundred days’ wages wouldn’t buy enough to feed everyone. Then andrew said, “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what good are these for so many?”

The “tiny detail” is the boy. a child came forward and of-fered some food. Jesus accepted that boy’s magnificent gesture and gave the people food for the journey. Go read the sixth chapter of the gospel for yourself. even though he’s just a pass-ing word in a sentence, pay attention to that boy. Pay attention to all the boys and all the girls young enough and idealistic enough to think that they can help, that their gifts can make a difference. For that boy, Jesus let it be so. Today it is up to us to let it be so. it is up to us to guide today’s boys and girls, to appreciate their efforts, to encourage their generous responses.

“are you talking about our kids?” a woman in one parent group objected when i shared this idea. “i think kids today are the most selfish people on earth. My son never notices anything that needs to be done. he only cares about himself.”

certainly there are selfish children. There are also genuine-ly good and generous children. a second grader once came to my office door with her lunch money after we had prayed in school for a family who had lost their home in a fire. she sin-cerely wanted to give all that she had to help feed that family.

some fourth graders once provided me with a complete loaves-and-fishes miracle of their own, with little idea of how wild their dream was and how miraculous the outcome. i was teaching religion in a large suburban parish. one day i had a sister who worked with elderly people in the inner city come


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out to talk to the children about her experiences with the sac-rament of the sick. she showed slides of some of the people in their homes or in gatherings at the church. one of the chil-dren asked sister how the people could get to the church or to the doctor or store.

“we’ve been trying to raise enough money to buy a van to use for our people,” said sister. “i did a fund-raising campaign, asking large banks and corporations near us in the city to do-nate money. but so far the big companies are giving small gifts. we only have three hundred dollars.”

“how much do you need?” asked a boy in the front row.“if we can raise five thousand dollars, the government will

match it with five thousand more. That might be enough for a used van,” said sister, as she prepared to change the slide and the subject.

“we could get the money for you,” piped a small voice. “we could! we will!” others said. hands reached for purses and lunch boxes to get out milk and lunch money.

“children!” i said. “you cannot give your lunch money. and sister didn’t come here to ask you to help.”

“but we’re here to do what Jesus said to do!” exclaimed a little girl. “why can’t we miss lunch so those people could have a van?”

another child got practical at this point. “well, for one thing, all our lunch money would only come to a few dollars. sister needs five thousand dollars. i think we should figure out a way to raise that money for her.”

sister and i smiled at each other with benign amusement and called the students back to the lesson at hand. when we were alone after class she said to me, “Those kids gave me a boost today. i almost thought i could believe them. at any rate, what they said has spurred me on. i’m going to go back


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and improve my fund raising.” she left thinking that was the end of her connection with our suburban parish.

but the kids thought otherwise. They didn’t let the matter drop. They talked it over with their homeroom teacher and went to the principal. They enlisted the other fourth-grade homeroom and eventually the whole school. There was a tal-ent show, a bake sale, a car wash. before it was over, grades four through eight had all thought up ways to raise money for “sister’s Van Fund.” They went to the adults of the parish to make appeals, but they did the project themselves. That fourth-grade class remained in charge of operations.

one of those children spoke to his dad, a car dealer. Therefore, when they did raise the five thousand dollars, and when the matching grant came through, sister was able to buy a brand new van. The first passengers in it were not elder-ly people. They were fourth graders riding in victory around the school parking lot while the student body cheered.

we didn’t know there were enough funds to go around. The children knew. while the apostles were telling Jesus there was no way to feed the crowd, a little boy just brought his lunch up and offered to share.

The eucharist, bread blessed and broken, wine poured out for all to drink, is not beyond our children. The capacity for love is within them, but it is lost when it is not respected, nurtured, and used.

how can you discover it and call it forth in your child? how can the eucharist—as thanksgiving, as body and blood of christ, as sacred meal, and as call to service—be a reality for our children and for us?

Teaching by example one day in religion class at a catholic school some children


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started asking about the differences between their student Masses and the Masses they attended in the parish on week-ends. “Father seems sad at the weekend Masses and the people seem mad,” said one little boy.

“They don’t know how to sing,” said another.how can one explain to children the complex adult emo-

tions that are represented in any parish church on sunday morning? Maybe the priest is sad, and maybe some people are a little mad. certainly, some people come to church bringing lives full of tension, heartache, and disappointment.

we all learned that it’s a serious sin to miss sunday Mass without a good reason. There’s no way of knowing how many people come to Mass because they are afraid not to, instead of because they want to. There’s no way of knowing how many people are angry or resentful about this teaching and no lon-ger come to Mass. some of us may even be in one of those groups—scurrying to church on saturday evening or early sunday to put in time and do our duties, or staying home from church because we’re angry that the whole religious thing hasn’t really “worked” for us.

There are also those who arrive at their parishes each week-end for the eucharistic liturgy because they really want to be there. This is not to say that they are somehow superior to the people in the first two groups described. it’s merely to say that there is a way—and some people have found it—to move be-yond obligation, guilt, or anger and begin to personally want and need this action that has been required.

in their religious education classes, our children are being taught about the joy of the eucharist. Texts and teachers tell them the reasons why christians want to gather to worship and celebrate together. if the religious education program is a vital one, they’re experiencing children’s liturgies—perhaps


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actual celebrations of the eucharist, perhaps classroom prayer services—that enable them to participate, to enjoy praying and singing together, and to understand what they can of the Mass at a child’s level.

one pastor told me he estimates that each year at least half of the First communion class in his parish are strangers to him because he’s never or rarely seen them at Mass. he’s not in a big parish where he might miss seeing someone. he’s the only priest, so he says all the Masses and he sees everyone there. what a sorrow to know that half the children receiving the eucharist for the first time have rarely been to Mass and are very likely to never come back again.

how confusing this must be for a child—to learn about the joy of receiving the eucharist and the privilege of being a full-fledged member now, a person who can receive Jesus every week, and then to be told at home that your family isn’t going to Mass, that it isn’t important or a privilege. a wise old priest once told me he felt this is a form of mental abuse, tell-ing children one thing in religion class and doing quite the opposite at home!

now is the time for us to look at ourselves and see if we’re being called back to a more adult practice of our faith while we bring our children to receive the eucharist. This might mean starting to go to Mass regularly. if we’re already doing that, it might mean reflecting on what we do when we get there.

am i singing at Mass? do i listen to the readings and the homily attentively? (little eyes are watching if i’m reading the bulletin or rummaging through my purse.) how do i respond to the prayers? how do i greet others as we enter and leave and during the sign of peace? what do i say about go-ing to Mass before we leave home? what parts of the Mass do i mention later—a mistake someone made? Things i didn’t


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like? or some idea from the gospel that i want to remember? The first strategy for helping my child prepare is good prepa-ration for myself.

Preparing ourselvesThere are strategies for doing this. People in small group dis-cussions at a meeting for parents of students preparing for First eucharist realized that they all had many questions about the eucharist on an adult level. They spoke to their pastor and dre, and living-room learning groups were formed in which more than half the parents participated. They gathered in local homes in groups of six to eight, watched a videotape or read an article, and then discussed it and prayed together. children saw their parents learning. Parents saw they were not alone in their hunger for more spirituality and knowledge.

similar questions were raised by parents in a parish where there was no dre and where the pastor was not willing to provide such help. a small group of parents decided to meet anyway—not to be subversive, but to learn and grow spiri-tually. They found a book about the eucharist that they all wanted to read, and they discussed it chapter by chapter, fol-lowing each discussion with prayer.

in another parish the dre offered space and coffee for any parents who would like to stay at the parish while their chil-dren were attending religious education classes. The parents began talking to each other and discovered they had similar questions about the bible, sacraments, and doctrines of the faith. They found a teacher who was willing to come and lead a class and discussion for them while their children were in class. in a similar situation, another group of parents used vid-eotapes for such classes.

Parents in one parish helped to make banners, plan music,


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and prepare a First eucharist liturgy that would be memo-rable for their children. it led them to talk about how some elements of this special liturgy could be included in each sunday liturgy. They approached the pastor about having different families carry up the bread and wine at each week-end Mass. They volunteered to write general intercessions for the Masses, and they looked for other ways that more people could be included in liturgical roles.

some parents in such settings have found that they have an interest and an aptitude for helping the community pre-pare for liturgy. They’ve volunteered to serve on parish liturgy committees and have gone on for more formal training about parish liturgical celebrations.

none of these examples is extreme or far-fetched. Parents are busy and family life is complex. yet there are parents all around the country who have decided to take some time to personally renew their understanding of and involvement in the eucharist. nor does this renewal always have to take the form of more meetings or time away from home.

adults who want to renew their understanding and faith can find excellent books and articles to read. They can borrow cds or dVds from their parish or diocese. Many people have told me that simply looking up the scripture readings for the coming sunday and reading them reflectively has improved their approach to the liturgy. others have found that spend-ing some time during the week, or even for a few minutes before Mass, reading over one of the eucharistic prayers has been a source of inspiration and renewal.

People who used to say, “i don’t get anything out of the Mass,” are coming to realize they need to put something into the Mass. only then will they begin to take anything from the Mass back to the rest of their lives.


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Family preparationParents report that renewal of their own faith has had a direct positive influence on the spiritual life of their whole family. each of us who lives in a family knows the feelings and “cues” that tell us how we’re doing spiritually. do we pray together at least some time during each week at meals, at bedtime, or at some other time when we are together? do we have chances to be together as a family? do we take time to talk to each other? how do we settle differences? does our home feel generally peaceful or generally chaotic?

do these questions really have anything to do with the eucharist? absolutely! it’s vitally important to consider these questions as we help our children prepare. when we teach about eucharist, we’re teaching children about a holy meal, about a sacrifice of love, about signs of peace and forgiveness. how can they understand these concepts in church if they don’t experience them in everyday life?

of course, we have to be realistic. The days when entire fami-lies gathered daily for three meals are gone forever. Many of us are thrilled if we can get the whole group together once a week! Family storytelling was a typical form of entertainment before the days of radio and TV. now gathering as a family calls for a special occasion that we can plan and schedule into our lives.

some families are doing exactly that. They’re trying such things as a special “family night” once or twice a month with no TV, no phone, and no friends invited, or a “family sunday” once a month or even once a semester. Parents also report good experiences when they get involved in their children’s religious education lessons by talking them over with their children, helping with special projects, and encouraging older siblings to take part in religious discussions with their younger brothers and sisters.


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we’re all in this together. First eucharist day isn’t simply a parish event. it’s also a family event. how do you plan to prepare for it and to celebrate it in your home? here are some simple (and some more elaborate) ideas:

This time of preparation provides a good opportunity for introducing or being more creative with family meal prayer. The child who is preparing for eucharist could be “in charge” of meal prayer once a week. if there are several siblings, they could take turns deciding what prayer to pray or making one up. The parent or parents should also take a turn—even go-ing first to show the children how it can be done. besides the traditional “bless us, o lord” prayer, children might choose to say an our Father or a hail Mary or a simple rhyming prayer of thanksgiving.

another nice way to pray before meals is to ask each per-son around the table to fill in the blank of the prayer, “God, i thank you for...” with something for which they are grateful that day. similarly, the grace, or family evening prayer, could be done by having each person at the table draw from a bas-ket the name of another person sitting there. Then the prayer would be “God, i thank you for (person’s name) because....”

start a “sacrament album” for each child. collect pictures and memorabilia from the child’s baptism and have the child help to arrange it in a large album or even a special box. while doing so, talk about your memories of the baptism. who was there? how did you feel? what did the baby do during the ceremony? continue this collecting as part of First eucharist preparation. Put homework papers from religion classes in the collection. include photos of any special family prayer moments or projects taken during the time of preparation. include copies of the prayers. after First eucharist day, add any cards sent to the child, the program of the liturgy if a spe-


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cial one was printed, photos, and the written memories any family members such as parents, brothers, sisters, or grandpar-ents are willing to contribute to the album.

Find a special service project that your whole family can do with the child who is preparing for eucharist. Perhaps it will be as simple as having each family member contribute money so that a gift of food can be purchased for someone who is needy. i know families who take their older children to help out in a soup kitchen or to deliver food boxes to the poor. often this kind of service begins in the year of prepara-tion for First eucharist.

Go to a local nursing home to visit regularly even if you don’t have a relative there. For First eucharist day, the child may choose an elderly person from the home to invite to Mass and dinner.

have the family bake special bread for breakfast or for din-ner on First eucharist day. if you are not a baker, refrigerated dough is a wonderful way to give children a chance to form small rolls or loaves and know that they have provided the bread for people to eat at the meal.

Make a family banner, a family tablecloth, or for the more ambitious, a family quilt that tells in symbols and single words something about the sacramental life of each family member. you do not have to be an artist to do this—even the most glue-splotched piece of burlap and felt that you have created together will look like a work of art to all of you!

encourage older brothers and sisters to help the child preparing for eucharist. They can listen to be sure the child knows basic prayers, talk over homework with the child, and share their memories about their own First eucharist days.

if there are traditional ethnic or other family customs from your childhood surrounding the celebration of First eucharist,


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think about how you can incorporate them into your family celebration. explain to your children why this communion dress is so special, why we always eat this particular dish at dinner on First eucharist day, who carried this prayer book or that rosary before the child received it, and why we always sing this song before dinner on First eucharist day.

Community preparationFirst eucharist day isn’t only a family event; it’s also a parish event. The children preparing to receive the eucharist are im-portant to the entire parish, not just to their parents and close relatives and friends.

how is the event marked in our parishes? are the children who are preparing for First eucharist introduced to the par-ish early in the school year? are people asked to pray for these students? how are other students in the school or religious education program encouraged to acknowledge and pray for these children?

There are many strategies for parish involvement, too. These plans can often be initiated by interested parents who speak to the appropriate parish staff members about them.

Many parishes have Masses of enrollment early in the school year modeled on the enrollment of candidates in the rcia. introduce the children preparing for First eucharist at this Mass, say prayers for them, and enter their names into a book, which is then placed in a prominent place in the church to remind people at all times to pray for those who will be receiving the sacraments.

Get people in the parish to pray for individual students. This can be accomplished by typing the name of each child on several small slips of paper, gathering all the slips into a box, leaving the box in the back of the church, and inviting


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people to draw a name and pray for that child every day. Many parishes hang up pictures of each student prepar-

ing for eucharist. if names are drawn, people can find their student on the board and then seek out that child at Mass. in some cases, elderly parishioners have ended up as adopted “grandparents” for some students, even taking part in the fam-ily’s celebration of the big day later in the year.

Parishioners can be recruited to be “guest speakers” in re-ligious education classes. in preparation for First eucharist, invite five or six adults to come to class and answer a simple question such as “why i love to receive Jesus in the eucharist,” or “why i like to come to Mass at this parish.”

older students can also get involved in many ways in First eucharist preparation. have these students volunteer to listen and help the children recite such basic prayers as the sign of the cross, the our Father, and the hail Mary. have older stu-dents make Mass booklets by cutting up old missalettes and religion books, using construction paper and original writing and drawing to explain the Mass to a younger child.

include special petitions for the students in parish liturgy and classroom prayers throughout the year.

Food for the journeywhat a treasure our children are! They can teach us so much while we’re teaching them.

at the last supper, Jesus asked us to remember. when we teach our children and then bring them to the table of the lord, we’re helping to ensure that Jesus’ words and actions, our family faith, and the faith of our community will be re-membered and celebrated into the next generation.

i look back and realize that my First eucharist marked a milestone on a wonderful journey of faith, a journey that has


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had many happy days and many sad ones. in the meantime, this holy meal has fed and sustained me; this feast of freedom has helped me to find freedom from the things i let enslave me; this sacrifice of christ has saved me over and over again.

we don’t know what challenges the next generation will face. we don’t know how they’ll experience exodus. we don’t know the itineraries for their spiritual journeys. but we do know the food that can sustain them on the way.


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Documents

by PEg Bo wman Eucharist not - Pastoral Planning€¦ · NEW LONDON, CT 06320 Eucharist Sacraments At hom E with the Sharing Jesus by PEg Bo wman Bowman Eucharist (jeff/Dan final).indd