BY MAMA KNOWS NUTRITION

B Y M A M A K N O W S N U T R I T I O N

© M A M A K N O W S N U T R I T I O N • O N E M E A L C H A L L E N G E

How to make meals that everyone will accept

D A Y O N E

"I’m out of ideas for something everyone will accept

(not even like, just accept!)"

It’s impossible to please everyone in the family every

single night. Literally impossible. So don’t put that

pressure on yourself. It’s striving for something that

doesn’t exist. There is no family that is perfectly

synced in their likes/dislikes and all come to the

table every single night saying, "YAY! I LOVE THIS!"

So how do we work around this problem, so that we

know there is something everyone can eat, but not

have to make separate meals??

One safe food at a meal serves many purposes:

. You can incorporate it into what you want

to make for dinner (we’ll talk about meal

planning tomorrow) so that you don’t

have to make something totally separate

. It relieves the need to offer them

something after dinner if they don’t eat -

you know you served something they like,

so if they choose not to eat, you’ve still

done your job of serving. Your job is done.

It IS okay for them to go to bed without

eating dinner. You are not starving them.

You served them something they like.

If dinner is 2 hours or less before bedtime,

I wouldn’t offer anything else before bed,

even if they say they are hungry. They

need to learn that dinnertime is when

they need to eat - so they don’t hold out

until later to get something they rather

have. If dinner is more than 2 hours before

bed, I would put a bedtime snack into the

normal routine and offer whether or not

they eat at dinner time. Bedtime snack

should be something simple like cheese,

yogurt, or a banana, instead of dessert

type food, because that will reinforce the

habit of skipping dinner for something

better later.

T H E S E C R E T W E A P O N H E R E I S T H E

S A F E F O O D .

What’s a safe food? Safe food: a food that they typically eat and you know that they like

R E M E M B E R !


T O D AY ’ S C H A L L E N G E

Fill out the safe food sheet, and head over to IG to see my picky eater’s safe food sheet

Does not have to be healthy. The starting place

is just having an item that they are willing to eat

along with other foods that may be new and/or

less liked.

Does not mean they will never try something

new. We’re going to talk more in depth about

how to get them trying new foods. But for now,

know that it’s typically a process, and we can’t

expect them to eat something unfamiliar, even if

they’re very hungry.

X

X

A safe food:

Today you’re going to fill out a worksheet listing out all of your child’s safe foods. If you have more than one

picky/selective eater, fill out one for each of them. Then circle any items that are safe foods for all of them.

(Hopefully you have some crossover!)

Later this week we’re going to dive into HOW to meal plan and serve balanced meals, using safe foods.

Gives you information: it’s a starting place

that you’ll use to help them branch out to other

foods. It’s always easiest to branch out to other

foods that are very similar to ones they already

like.

» For example- you can go from one red apple

variety to another, then to a yellow apple. Or go

from chicken nuggets to chicken strips. Baby

steps are honestly less exciting than them

trying something totally new, but these baby

steps ARE progress!


D A Y O N E

What happens when a safe food is something they

loved yesterday but not today but tomorrow they eat it

again?

This is to be expected. It can STILL be a safe food

even if they don’t eat it every single time. But, if they

refuse it 3 or 4 times in a row I would give it a break

and try again in a few weeks.

Can you serve a safe food more than once a day?

It’s okay to serve a safe food more than once a day,

but I want you to make a change to it so it’s not the

*exact* same thing, if possible. A visual change is a

fine place to start! Like cutting it a different way or

in a different bowl, etc.

I’m embarrassed there are NO vegetables on this list

and it’s so limited! 😭 I can’t even put a veg on the

same dish. I’ve tried raw, cooked, with and without dip.

You’ll need to go backwards if they don’t allow it on

the same dish. First start with them being able to

tolerate it NEAR them - like on a serving plate in the

middle of the table. Then you’d next graduate to a

"tasting plate," which is a plate next to their main

"eating plate," with new foods for them to explore. No

pressure on them to eat it, though!

When the safe food is bread/French fries/pasta at what

point do you not give anymore? Or how do you prevent

a meltdown when there’s more but it’s on the parents

plate?

Even if the safe food is the carb, I recommend

allowing them to have a few servings if they’d like --

as long as there’s enough for everyone at the table.

If there’s 4 rolls and 4 people, then sorry, everyone

needs a chance to get one before you have seconds.

When the meltdown happens, I like to use strategies

from the book, The Whole Brain Child by Daniel J.

Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson.

. First make them "feel felt" (Even if it feels trivial

to you.) "Oh bud, you really want another roll to

eat! You see one on mom’s plate, and you want it!

You don’t want me to have it. You wish I’d give it to

you."

. This helps them feel like you "get" them, and it

usually will de-escalate them.

. Now you may be able to give them a hug, and then

offer another safe food choice (it’s okay if this

food is not currently at the table, if there are no

other safe foods left at the table.)

. "I know you really wanted another roll and I’m

sorry I don’t have one for you. You can have some

____ if you’d like."

. If they continue to be upset at this point, I would

let them carry on, but ignore the tantrum behavior

as best you can. Ignoring the behavior that you

DON’T like prevents them carrying on just to get

your attention. "I’m here to give you a hug when

you’re ready. When your body is calm, I can give

you my attention."

. Remember that you can’t solve everything for

them and it’s okay for them to work their way

through the tantrum, as long as they are safe and

not harming anyone or your home.


D A Y O N E

If I try "hiding" vegetables in stuff he’ll say he doesn’t

like it even if it’s one of his favorite foods like pasta.

What do you do when hiding veggies doesn’t even

work?

Usually you need to decrease the amount that

you’re trying to "hide"/mix in to liked foods. I would

only add a tiny amount (like one or two specks of

a veggie!) the first time and if that goes well, you

can add a little more. Smoothies are a great way

to mix veggies in without them noticing it, as well

as grating or finely dicing veggies like carrots or

zucchini into muffins or meatballs.

But also remember that you can’t force it, and it’s

OK if he’s not there yet with veggies! Go back to

the hierarchy and start getting him to look, touch,

smell, etc.

The only foods I KNOW my kid will eat...are bread and

fruit. Not even pasta or things like that!

That’s okay! Everyone is going to have a different

starting place. And honestly there is nothing wrong

with bread and fruit. Both have nutrients your little

one needs. Since fruit is lower in calories, I would

also offer milk and/or bread at meals for safe foods

to make sure they get enough to eat. With the

bread, see if you can branch them out to different

types of bread, and with something on it! Any type

of spread that they like is a good place to start.

With something new, start really small. Like for

example, my son was really unsure about butter. I

added maybe 1/8tsp of butter so that it would not be

noticeable in taste or appearance the first time.

Can their safe food be something they like but not love?

Yep! It’s just meant to be something they *usually*

eat but may not eat it every single time. It’s going to

be something that they’ve had several times. When

they try a new food, and eat it, I wouldn’t consider it

"safe" until they repeat it a few times.

What if we give them a safe food on their plate but they

ask for one of their other safe foods? Do we switch it or

keep it the same and not serve something else? Most of

the time this leads to my son waiting until later to ask

for it again (a couple hours later) and then I just give it

to him because I’d rather him eat than not eat.

I would stay firm in the choices you have already

offered at the meal. You can give them a choice

while you’re preparing the meal, like, would you

rather banana or peach? But it’s important for them

to learn that they need to make do with what’s

available, and they can’t forgo whatever you put out

for something else. So for example say it’s lunch

time, and his safe food that you made is a PB&J,

and he asks for crackers. I would say, "you want

crackers, I hear you. I’m going to write that down

so I can make sure to serve crackers at afternoon

snack." Sometimes I find that they really benefit

from you writing it down (even if you know you’re

not going to forget) just so they feel like you’re really

taking their request seriously.

D A Y O N E

He gets bored with his safe food after the second time.

How to not make him bored/tired of the safe food he

has?

Try to avoid serving two days in a row if possible. If

not, at least switch up the other foods offered with

it and try a different plate or bowl. So for example

say the safe food is spaghetti, and you serve it on a

plate with broccoli. If you need to serve it again the

next day, you serve it in a bowl with 2 peas on top for

"eyes" and make a smiley mouth with peas too, plus

some fruit on the side.

My daughters safe foods are hit or miss. Sometimes

she looks at a plate full of safe foods and says no thank

you. So I should assume she isn’t hungry? And accept

her not eating anything?

Yes and yes. Usually if they decline safe foods

altogether they are not hungry. It is OKAY for them to

not eat at a meal. It’s also okay for them to leave the

table and decide 2 minutes later they actually do

want to eat (with young kids I think it’s okay to give

them another chance!). But DO NOT offer other foods

that are not at the meal, either during the meal or

right afterwards. That will sabotage your progress!

If I’m serving tacos and I know my 5 yr old picky eater

will not try, I was thinking to give it to him as separate

parts but the only part I KNOW he’ll eat is the shredded

cheese. I feel like this isn’t a substantial safe food.

Would putting some banana or roasted sweet potato

also be a good idea so I know there’s something that

will fill him up?

Yep! While you don’t HAVE to do more than one safe

food, it can help, especially when they are still quite

hesitant to try anything new.

I wanted to ask about water and milk. I know too much

milk can be a bad thing. My son LOVES it. Sometimes

when we eat he will either drink tons and tons of water

or milk and then won’t actually eat anything (like 2-3

cups). Should I limit it if he asks for more water/milk?

Or just let him have as much as he likes?

Total daily milk intake should be no more than 16-20

oz (for either cow’s milk or a non-dairy alternative).

It’s OKAY for milk to be a safe food at a meal. You

may choose to only offer milk at 1 to 2 meals per day

if they tend to drink a lot or fill up on it, so they still

have an opportunity for other foods at other meals.

For water, I would allow as much as they’d like

Served a safe food (or so I thought) along with some

other "sometimes" foods and something completely

new. Only had one single bite of her safe food and milk.

And then I had already promised her we would decorate

cupcakes after dinner, so we did that and she ate one.

So I guess she had cupcakes for dinner �

Ya can’t stop life from happening. It’s going to

make us feel like we hit setbacks all the time -- but

I don’t see this as a true setback or anything to

feel down about. Here’s what you did that I like: you

served something that you felt was a safe food; you

also introduced a new food, and had some other

options available too. She had choices, and you

felt confident that there was something she’d feel

comfortable eating. You allowed her to listen to her

body’s needs at that meal. Her body didn’t need

much! Then you followed through on a promise you

already made, and spent a little quality time with

her. You allowed her to enjoy a cupcake without

guilt, and without her needing to do something to

"earn" it.

To me, this is normal and an overall good outcome!

Remember we can’t control what they actually

choose to eat and how much. Her nutrition isn’t

going to completely suffer from one night of

cupcakes for dinner.


How to use safe foods (and boost nutrition)

D A Y T W O

Day Safe FoodAnd here’s how you can add some extra nutrition

(if you want to)

Sunday pasta Make chickpea or whole wheat pasta, or try this sauce

Monday hot dog nitrate free hot dog, whole wheat bun

Tuesday breadwhole wheat bread, add a topping like- avocado, hummus, or

ricotta

Wednesday grapes and milk no changes needed!

Thursday rice brown rice or a whole grain rice blend like this

Friday sweet potato fries homemade sweet potato wedges coated in avocado oil

Saturday pizza veggie topped pizza or one with hidden veggies

The safe food can be any component of the meal-

the protein, the carb, the fruit/veggie. If it’s a fruit

or vegetable, I would also serve a second safe food

OR a glass of milk, so you know it’s going to be more

filling than just having some fruit. They still may

choose not to eat much and that’s okay! We will talk

about that soon. The goal is to offer it, since you

can’t control what they actually put in their mouth.

Aim for rotation

To encourage them to eat a bigger variety and try new foods, the safe food should rotate. So here’s a sample week of safe foods (not the whole meal, just the safe food).

https://mamaknowsnutrition.com/healthy-pasta-for-toddlers/

https://www.target.com/p/seeds-of-change-organic-seven-whole-grains-8-5oz/-/A-17281197

https://www.kidfresh.com/products/cheesy-pizza


A L W AY S H A V E A T L E A S T 1 S A F E F O O D

(we will talk soon about what to do when they don’t

eat anything) so you’re not left feeling like you

need to get them something else after the meal.

And it does NOT have to "go" with the meal. Like if I

want to make salmon and roasted sweet potatoes,

I know my kids won’t eat that. But I’m still going to

make it, and will offer it to them, but I might also

add bananas to the table, even though that’s not a

"dinner food," so they have something more familiar

to them. This really is okay, especially if you’re

starting off with a pretty limited number of safe

foods.

We have to acknowledge that they won’t always eat

a balanced meal when you offer it and that’s not in

your control. You can make the perfect meal every

night... but you can’t make them eat it.

Reasons to not allow extra helpings: . You need to save some for another day or other

family members

. You think they will feel sick if they eat more (like

after a few servings of fruit, diarrhea can be a

concern)


1 or 2 safe foods with dinner and allow them to have more of the safe foods (within reason).

Even picky eaters typically meet their macronutri-ent requirements over the course of a few days to a week

They can still be healthy when they seem to ONLY eat carbs.

They need more carbs than we adults do-- they’re

growing, and it’s their body and brain’s preferred

source of fuel. It’s very normal for them to strongly

prefer carbs so please do not feel like you’re failing

them if you have a carb lover!

. You want to wait a few minutes - it’s okay to say,

"we have some more in the fridge, but I’m eating

my meal right now. You can have something else

on your plate or wait until I’m done."

. Notice I don’t mention restricting their calories or

their carbs or anything like that. The more we try

to restrict or control their intake, the more their

body is going to fight against it. Ever try to force

yourself on a 1200 calorie diet? It usually just

makes you have bigger cravings!


Getting them to try new foods

D A Y T H R E E

Do they eat less than 20 foods? (refer

to your safe food sheet)

Do they quit accepting some foods

they used to eat, and never seem to

pick the food back up, even after a

break from offering it?

When you put a new food on their

plate do they cry, strongly protest, or

have a meltdown? They almost always

completely refuse to try a food.

Are they missing any food groups

entirely (aka no fruit/veg, or no

starches, or no proteins)?

Do they almost always eat different

food from the rest of the family, or eat

in a separate place away from others?

If you answer “yes” to 2 or more of the following questions, they might be a “problem feeder”:

Depending on your child’s genetics and personality,

this could be somewhat easy, or extremely

challenging. If you find that you’re raising your hand

for "extremely challenging," read through this list

to see whether you have what we’d call a "problem

eater." If you don’t answer yes to more than 1 of

these questions, then I’d likely call your child a

picky eater. (Or maybe they’re not even a picky eater!

But I’m guessing you wouldn’t be here right now if

they weren’t.)

R E M E M B E R !

This isn’t your fault.


. First off, this isn’t your fault. It’s a big combination

of genetics, personality, environment, etc. So even

if you’ve done everything 100% "by the book" to

prevent picky eating, it can still occur.

. Often, their persistence in avoiding new foods is

not the only setting where they are hesitant or

oppositional. So it’s often not even about the food

itself, and more about other causes that prevent

them from trying new foods.

. Sometimes, there’s an oral motor or sensory

piece to the puzzle that needs to be addressed.

If you think this could be the case, I would 100%

recommend an evaluation with an SOS feeding

therapist. Usually this evaluation is covered by

Steps to trying a new food: (hierarchy created by Dr. Kay Toomey)There’s a hierarchy, and it goes from easiest to

hardest. Always start with the easiest, where

they’re just tolerating the food, and make your way

down the list until you get to the eating part. You

may not need to break it down so specifically like

this, depending on your child’s level of comfort

with new foods. A good thing to do, if you feel too

overwhelmed thinking about all these steps, is

to simply get them in the kitchen with you while

preparing foods. That will incorporate a lot of great

exposure for them without you having to think

about each step!

insurance, and there is no harm in getting a

professional’s opinion.

. I would also suggest an evaluation with an SOS

therapist if your little one falls into the "problem

feeder" category.

. If you’ve ruled out other issues, it’s also

appropriate to revise down your expectations, and

accept that your child may not be an adventurous

eater for a long time. That DOES NOT mean they

can’t be healthy. It does mean that you will have

to work harder to get them to slowly branch out

to new foods. A feeding therapist can usually

help with this, I can also help with this via my

individual counseling.

Whether they fall into the “problem feeder” category or not, consider the following:

Check out the steps on the next page!

» Describe the properties of the food while it is in front of you- color, texture, temperature, smell, taste

» Make a game or story with the food while they watch (look, here’s a baby pea, and a mommy green bean!)

» Child watches food preparation while you describe what you’re doing

» Assists in preparation of the food

» Washes produce

» Uses kid-safe knife

» Puts foods onto a baking sheet or into a pot

» Rubs oil on

» Sprinkles on seasonings

» Shakes up bag with marinade

» Stirs ingredients together

» Have them in the kitchen while cooking

» Any food preparation will get them smelling too

» Fingers:

» building with food (make a bridge, make a tower, make a letter shape, make a rainbow)

» Smashing, ripping, breaking, crunching

» being a puppy with a bone, or a puppy licking

» Touch to tip of tongue SUPER FAST

» Lick like an ice cream cone

» holding food in teeth, no hands!

» Hold in teeth, then push out with tongue

» Pretend to brush teeth with the food

Tolerating the food

Interacts with

ST

EP

1S

TE

P 2

ST

EP

3S

TE

P 4

ST

EP

5

Smelling the food

Touch

Taste

» Place food on a napkin or "tasting plate" next to child and move it closer to child as they tolerate it (without drawing attention to this, over the course of the meal)

» Once they accept this, then you can advance to place food on edge of plate and move closer to other

» Moves items with tongs

» Uses utensils to serve themselves (it’s okay if they don’t eat what they serve themselves, this is still a great step forward!)

» Puts one food onto/near another-

» Makes a smiley face with their food

» Makes a "train" with the foods

» Groups them by number (can you put 3 pieces of sweet potato on the napkin?)

» Have them sniff herbs/spices

» Games to bring food near the nose- make a mustache, a clown nose, put on lipstick)

» Painting with food

» Scraping leftovers into trash

» Lips:

» Kiss the food, food is kissing you

» Pretending to put on lipstick

» Lick fingers after touching a food

» Put food in mouth then spit it out

» Listen to what noises it makes when you chew

» Bite off a TINY piece then spit out

» Chew X times then spit out

» Chew and swallow with a liquid


Choose one activity when preparing food today to get them involved -- remember to start with tolerating the food. If they can tolerate, pick something

from the interacting category. If they can do that, do the smell, etc.



D A Y T H R E E

Tonight my son helped me "paint" squash halves with

oil and then sprinkle magic dust (salt) on it before we

put it in the oven. He even let us put the squash on his

plate and he squished it with his hands, but he refused

to try it and said he didn’t like it. I guess it’s progress

that we made it to the point of him touching it but

my question is should we attempt a similar activity

with the same food another time this week to see if he

progresses further to keep the squash "fresh" in his

mind or try and use a variety of foods with a similar

activity and progression?

Both! If you have any leftover squash, I would bring

it out another day and maybe have him scoop it

onto a plate or something like that. Then I’d buy it

again within a week or two to expose him again.

And also continue with exposures with other foods,

too! It doesn’t need to be stressful, so just work with

what you have.

Are we supposed to do the new food/safe food combo at

every meal? Or just aiming for dinners?

In an ideal world you’d do it at least 2 meals a

day, but even if you’re just doing dinner that’s still

progress!

What are your thoughts on negotiating? My son wanted

more of his safe food and I said ‘yes, please try a bite

of the other things on your plate’. The other things on

his plate were not completely new to him, but for some

reason today he was refusing to even take one bite.

Next time I would encourage exploration of another

food vs. making them try a bite. Usually making

them try a bite only works with kids who are very

easy going about food. For more selective/hesitant

kiddos, I would focus on the exploration (looking,

touching, smelling) of the other foods, and never in

a forceful way.

Sometimes, you can also just delay getting more of

the safe food, and give them a natural opportunity

to check out the other stuff on their plate. If the food

isn’t at the table, it’s totally okay to say, "yes I will

get you more. I’m going to eat a few more bites first,

and then I will get you some."

We also want to avoid trying to get them to eat

something before getting what they really want,

because it can further put those loved foods on a

pedestal and make other foods feel like a "chore" or

something to suffer through. So it’s something you

want to avoid relying on as a regular practice, but

it’s not a problem if you do it from time to time.

There have definitely been times my husband and I

have forced my son to try something before giving

him other foods! Even though we know we’re not

"supposed to." Sometimes you just get so frustrated,

and that’s normal!

D A Y T H R E E

What are your suggestions for getting a 16 month old

involved in the kitchen? He will actually taste a lot of

different things but then take it out of his mouth and

say "yucky" and hand it to me. I have tried different

sauces, seasonings, cutting things differently, different

types (pasta, rice, beans, veggies), preparing the same

thing differently, mixing the new food in with the safe

food and still will not actually eat new foods.

Some kids take A LOT of times of doing allllllll the

things to get them comfortable with it. Don’t give up.

I hear from moms of 6 and 7 year olds whose kids

are just now eating everything they make. It can be

a long road but it’s still worth it! Look at that PDF

download I gave you with some ideas to get them

involved in the kitchen. Easy go-to ideas that always

will work no matter what food you’re making -

» Transfer from one bowl/container to another (either with fingers, spoon, tongs) even if you don’t really need them to move it, but it’s good for the purpose of having an activity

» Rinsing things off

» stirring/mixing

Last night she stirred her chili and ate the side of

shredded cheese...but we’re having leftover chili again

today. Just offer a different safe food with it? Anything

else to consider with leftovers especially of something

they don’t like?

Leftovers are part of life so don’t worry about

breaking the rule of "no two dinners the same in a

row" sometimes. Yes you can offer a different safe

food with it, or just present it differently if possible.

So say last night you had chili and cornbread (with

cornbread being the safe food), and the cornbread

was warm last night, and you don’t heat it up today.

Even small differences like that ARE differences and

helps prevent them from getting too rigid about

their food being a specific way.

Does getting them to eat the new food mean we should

do lots of negotiations? My son (4.5 yrs) took one bite

of a new food and it was a huge struggle and he acted

like he was going to throw up during the whole ordeal,

it didn’t feel like a win that he tried it unfortunately.

Totally get why that wouldn’t feel like a win. I would

just pause if you see it turning negative. If you find

yourself starting to negotiate or force - try to just

pause, and stop. It’s not worth it! Our goal is positive

mealtime associations and positive experiences

with new foods. So I rather you quit before they

get the food near their mouth than let it become a

struggle. They have years to try new foods, seriously!

Go back to your progression sheet and see where

you can comfortably get him (touching, smelling,

etc.)

When I put a new food on my daughter’s plate I try to

get her to at least take one bite of it to try it. There have

been times she has tried that food and loves it but then

"forgets" she likes it and won’t eat it the next time it’s

served. And other times she flat out refuses to try it. I

guess my question is, should I insist that she takes one

bite of the new food or no?

No you don’t have to insist. It’s normal for them

to be hit and miss with new foods. I would remind

them what it’s like ("this is sweet potato, do you

remember us having it last time? It’s sweet and

creamy, and you ate it with your favorite blue fork.")

Then you can try to engage them in something fun/

silly. Say it’s sweet potato fries, put them between

your fingers and say, "look at my bear claws! Roar!"

Or if it’s mashed, "can you use your spoon to paint

these on your plate?"


What to do when they don’t eat

D A Y F O U R

"No matter what I make, even when I give a choice,

they don’t want it!"

The worries start coming in. Did they get enough

to eat today? Are they going to wake up at night

hungry? I want to make sure they get what they

need.

They’re not hungry. This is very typical for

toddlers at dinner, especially if they ate well

earlier in the day. They can be known to frontload

their intake to earlier in the day.

There’s nothing familiar/liked at the meal.

Pediatricians are famous for saying, "when they

get hungry enough, they’ll eat!" Problem is, this

doesn’t work with most picky eaters. So this is

why we want to make sure to offer a safe food.

They’re uncomfortable- physically or

emotionally. If dinner is typically very stressful

(for any reason), it may cause them to lose their

appetite. And if they’re not seated comfortably,

it can lead to them getting down constantly or

trying to escape their seat and distract them

from eating. Constipation can be a reason for

discomfort/lack of appetite, too.

They know they can hold out for something

better.

» This is a HUGE hurdle for a lot of families so today our goal is to eliminate this one.

» If you tend to offer them something else after they reject whatever you serve at first, they learn they can just reject what you offer in favor of something they want more. They know mom will bring out a pouch or crackers or something like that, so they wait.

R E A S O N S T H E Y M A Y N O T B E E A T I N G

From IG @mamaknowsnutrition


SENSORY WORDS TO DESCRIBE NEW FOODS

APPEARANCE TEXTURE

SOUND SMELL

TASTE

stringy firm dryheavy flaky crumblyflat crispylumpyfizzy fluffy

smooththick hard mushysticky thin dullpillowysoftshortlong

thinrubbery slimy grittybubbly grainygreasy rough moistsoft firm/hard

flakycrispy fluffy drywet crumblylumpy smooth mushysticky chalky

cracklecrunchhisspopsizzlesqueak

aromatic spicyfloral bland salty savorytart

strong mildweak cheesysweetacidiccitrus

sweetsugarysaltybitter

strongmildboringrich

hotwarmcoldfruity

juicysourzestyplain

smashslurpglugguzzleplop

S E N S O R Y W O R D S T O D E S C R I B E N E W F O O D S

Look at the sensory foods sheet included here. These are good words to think about and use to

describe foods to your little one, even when they’re not eating it. It’s helpful to talk about things like

the color or the shape or the smell, instead of trying to make them taste it.


Bedtime snacks

Bedtime snack should generally either be part of

the normal routine, or not. What I mean is, make

it consistent. If you only offer it sometimes, or you

only offer it when you think they didn’t eat enough

at dinner, it gets confusing for them, and they may

think they can skip dinner in hopes you’ll give them


Avoid bringing out another food when they refuse what is served- instead, serve the safe food along with the meal (even if it’s something like crackers or a pouch) to eliminate the hold out situation. Tell them that this is the meal, there won’t be

another option afterwards. They may be upset, but this is an appropriate boundary to set and it’s okay to be firm on this. You KNOW you are serving something they like with the meal, so there’s no reason to go get something else or make another food if

they request it after you’ve already made something.

something else. If dinner is 2+ hours before bedtime,

then a bedtime snack is an appropriate part of the

routine (or if it’s a shorter amount of time but you

know they need something before bed to keep them

full overnight). I can share bedtime snack ideas on

IG if you want! Let me know on today’s post.


D A Y F O U R

When my 16 mo doesn’t eat more than 2-3 bites, I

put a book in front of her and she looks and points at

pictures she eats more. Is this a bad habit? I know she

could eat more as it’s a safe food, and since she’s on

the tiny side I don’t feel comfortable letting her not eat.

I’m okay with a toddler having a book or small toy

at the table. With a small toy or stuffed animal, they

can "feed" their friend, too. So even if they don’t want

to try a certain food, maybe they can feed some to

their toy/animal to get them to engage with it. It

also can help take some of the pressure off about

eating and make them feel more comfortable to eat

more.

We’ve been in the bedtime snack routing for awhile.

It’s usually milk plus 1.5 graham crackers or ritz with

almond butter. Dinner is usually 5/5:30, and bed is

7:30/8. Is this a bad habit? Should I give him this snack

with dinner? If it needs to stop, not sure what to say to

get out of it since it’s so part of our routine now.

I’m fine with that! Usually if there is 2 or more hours

between dinner and bed I will suggest a bedtime

snack be in the routine. I would keep the bedtime

snack with this dinner and bedtime schedule. It’s

something I typically recommend also for parents

who really worry about their kids getting enough to

eat. This way you don’t feel pressure about dinner,

because you know they have another chance to eat

before bed.


Meal planning day!

D A Y F I V E

How to plan around safe foodsthis is a new way of planning that avoids the

constant repeat of your toddler’s favorite foods,

where you’re not expanding to anything new.

FIRST: do an audit

How many nights a week do you realistically cook

dinner? How many nights are leftovers? How many

nights do you just do something from the freezer?

Takeout? Which days do you have more time, which

days would you need to just throw something in the

crockpot, or make a 15 minute meal?

This can change every week but thinking about the

reality is huge

I used to plan from an idealistic place- I’d have a new recipe to try every night of the week, with a ton of ingredients, specialty items, etc. And then by Wednesday I’d be like F THIS and get a pizza. I wanted my reality to be something more idealistic than was possible. You have young kids, you have other responsibilities, chances are your day doesn’t revolve completely around cooking dinner and that’s normal and okay.

Step One


1. Plan dinners for next week, incorporating a safe food or two into each meal. Leftovers are okay! You do not have to cook every night.

2. You don’t need a new breakfast or lunch every day of the week. It’s okay to rotate between 2 or 3 options.

3. You don’t need to introduce a new food at every single meal, especially if they will be eating that meal away from home. Even though I said to incorporate new foods at dinner, maybe breakfast or lunch works better for your schedule. That’s fine, too.


Identify on your meal plan which nights are cooking nights, leftover nights, take-out, etc.

For the nights you are cooking, either first plan

around what YOU want to make, OR identify the safe

food and then plan around that.

For example. I might write rice as the safe food, and

then decide I want to do sheet pan fajita chicken,

peppers, and onions along with that. I might serve

shredded cheese too, which is also a safe food for

my daughter.

Remember it’s okay if the safe food is just bread or

pasta or an apple. They are not going to eat only that

one item every night forever. Keep exposing them to

what you are cooking! The exposure is important.

You can give your child some say in what you’re

serving. I like to offer them choices and it can

actually make them more likely to eat something

that they choose. So for example, broccoli or string

beans? Apple or banana? Pasta shells or noodles?

If you’re typically eating at a different time than

your child, we will address that later on, so for now,

I would still plan on serving them a component

of what you’ll be having (either tonight, or your

leftovers from last night) so they are still getting

some exposure to what you’re eating.

Step Two


D A Y F I V E

I love meal planning, but I get so bored and have a

hard time finding new meals. Which most of the time

require several ingredients I don’t have.

I hear you! I like to only choose 1 or maybe 2 new

recipes a week, and I’ll try to keep in the same

theme for a week or two to avoid needing a ton of

special ingredients. So like if I find a recipe using

fish sauce, something I don’t normally have on

hand, I’ll look for another one to try next week.

I use and LOVE Cook Smarts (affiliate link) because I

can make about 2 recipes from that each week that

are new and different, and then the rest of the week

I’ll do old favorites or quick throw together meals.

Cook Smarts gives you a new menu to use each

week and then automatically creates the grocery list

from the meals you decide to make. It takes out the

mental effort of planning a new meal! And then you

can either find a component of that meal as your

little one’s safe food (like a plain carb or something)

OR have their safe food be separate (bread is

easiest) and not worry about it.

Is the template just for planning dinners?

Yep! You can go ahead and plan your other meals if

you’d like, too! I personally get overwhelmed so I just

make sure we have staples on hand for breakfasts

and lunches, and then plan out some different

things for dinners.

https://www.cooksmarts.com?afmc=46&utm_campaign=46&utm_source=leaddyno&utm_medium=affiliate


Getting them to branch out

D A Y S I X

Change a food’s appearance:Shape: Cut it in a different way (sandwich into

triangles instead of squares, cucumbers into strips

instead of circles) or move from a goldfish cracker

to a square cracker; dino chicken nuggets instead

of round nuggets

Serve the food on a different plate or with a

different side than usual

Squeeze a pouch or yogurt into a bowl and serve

with a spoon

Try a different brand or variety: Frozen chicken nuggets in the same shape but

from a different brand; same type of bread from a

different brand; same flavor pouch from a different

brand; gala apple vs. honeycrisp apple; preferred

yogurt flavor from a different brand

Add a TINY amount of something newthe size of a grain of rice (tasting portion)

You can serve this on its own or mixed in with a

liked food

» If they can’t handle the tasting portion on their plate, show them how to remove it to a napkin with a utensil if they don’t want to touch it

Examples for mixing- the tiniest pinch of cinnamon

in a bowl of oatmeal; 1 grain of rice sized piece of

banana in a bowl of yogurt, a teeny tiny spread of

butter on toast

One of the most effective ways to get them to try a new food is by making tiiiiiiny changes to foods

that they already eat and like.

This is a step-by-step process, and each step is a little bit harder. Start with the first steps you see

here and you can eventually move on to the bigger changes after you’re successful with previous ones.


Attached you’ll find a list of common toddler favorites, and changes you can make to start branching them out. Start slowly. We build up their confidence

and comfort level when we make small changes!


I F T H E Y A R E S T U C K O N . . .

Plain spaghetti or buttered spaghetti

Size/Shape

. Cut the spaghetti into smaller pieces -> cut as small as rice -> try orzo -> try

pastina -> try quinoa

. Different thickness -> angel hair for thinner -> linguine or fettucine for thicker

Appearance

. Whole wheat spaghetti

. Serve in a different dish than normal

. Add one or two pieces of a liked food on top (like 2 peas, or 1 bite of carrot)

Taste

. Olive oil instead of butter

. Add tsp of sauce mixed in (yes that little! You want it basically undetectable the first time)

» Next time add 1 tsp sauce mixed in

. If they like cheese, offer it in a side dish and show them how they could

sprinkle it on

» Can also offer hemp seeds, chia seeds, or nutritional yeast as "sprinkles"

. Add 1 tsp of pumpkin puree

. Sprinkle on a small bit of salt

. Sprinkle a tiny bit of a seasoning: garlic powder, onion powder, or white

pepper are good ones to start with because they won’t add a color

. Try Barilla protein plus spaghetti, or their veggie pasta

. Chickpea or lentil based pasta

Try...(One variation at a time).



Hot dogs

Size/Shape

. Ways to cut them: half circle pieces, quarter circle pieces, halved lengthwise,

quartered lengthwise.

. Make octopus hot dogs

Appearance

. Pair the hotdog with a piece of bread or bun.

» Bun or bread can be room temp, warmed up, or toasted

. Use slices of hot dogs to make parts of a picture on a plate

» For a smiley face, you can use round slices of hot dog as the eye or a long slice of a hot dog as a smile

» Use a cookie-cutter in the shape of a shirt or a teddy bear on a piece of bread and place round slices of the hotdogs as buttons.

. Add hot dog pieces to a meal they like (like pasta or rice)

. Make a "hot dog sandwich" - slice into thin pieces and use bread to make it

like a sandwich (if they like a ham or turkey sandwich, they may like this)

Taste

. Cook in different ways - boiled, sauteed, grilled

. If they like cheese -> sprinkle some cheese on top

» -> add sliced hot dogs to mac and cheese

» -> add little pieces of chopped hot dogs to mac cheese

. Introduce different condiments with the hot dog

. Buy different brands of hotdogs

. Try sausage

» You can serve sauteed sliced hot dog and sausage pieces together

. Introduce foods and recipes that have hot dogs incorporated in them like corn

dogs, pigs in a blanket, spaghetti with hot dogs, potatoes and hot dogs


https://www.myfoodandfamily.com/recipe/060279/mini-hot-dog-octopus-mac-n-cheese



Mac n Cheese

Size/Shape

. Use different types of noodles.

» Start off with noodles out of the box- brands like Annie’s have some that are shells and some that are elbows

» Then use noodles that aren’t from the box (either choose larger noodles like cavatappi and penne, or smaller noodles like wagon wheels and shells) and still prepare according to the box directions

. Buy the shape ones like the Annie’s farm shapes

Appearance

. Use different bowls and plates

. Add a few pieces of food that they like to the macaroni and cheese, like pieces

of chicken or peas.

» You can gradually add more pieces, mix them in instead of put on top, and then decrease the amount of pasta and increase the other foods

. Use shredded cheese instead of the powder cheese

. Try different brands of mac and cheese

. Buy the microwaveable cup kind vs. the box

. Try a frozen mac and cheese bowl

. Make homemade mac and cheese (look for a copycat recipe of their favorite

packaged kind, like search copycat kraft mac and cheese recipe)


Continued



Mac n Cheese


Taste

. Use whole wheat noodles

. Chickpea boxed mac and cheese (like Banza)

. Vegan boxed mac and cheese

. Use oil in place of butter

. Use plain whole milk yogurt instead of milk

. Mix in a SMALL sprinkle of garlic powder, onion powder, or white pepper

. Add a teaspoon of alfredo or other cheesy/creamy sauces

» Next time, add in two teaspoons. Slowly work up to introduce the new taste gradually

. Add a teaspoon of canned pumpkin puree or another orange/yellow colored

veggie puree

. Add a teaspoon of plain canned tomato sauce

» Once they accept a red color you can try a tomato cream sauce instead of cheese sauce

. Add a meat or other protein they like to the mac and cheese

. Make macaroni and cheese with a liked veggie mixed in

» If they accept this and eat the veggie, you can try doing just the veggie in the cheese sauce next time

» Slowly decrease the cheese sauce, and eventually serve it as a dip on the side

. Bake it in the oven with a little bit of breadcrumbs on top



Peanut butter and jelly sandwich


Size/Shape

. Cut the sandwich in half, diagonally or straight down the middle; cut into

four squares or four triangles; cut into three long strips, cut into bite sized

squares

. Use a cookie cutter to cut the sandwich into different shapes, or make your

own uncrustables (cutter links here!)

Appearance

. Serve the sandwich on a new plate

. If they are used to no crusts: serve one piece of the sandwich with crust on,

and the other pieces with it off

» Once they accept this, do half and half, then all crust

. If they are used to crusts, try with crusts cut off

. Place pieces of food in-between pieces of the sandwich. It can be as simple as

sliced strawberries in between two halves of a sandwich or more complex like

making a checkered pattern using a sandwich cut into fourths and berries, if

you’re feeling creative.

. Use half slices of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as the ears on a puppy

dog face (fruit or veg for the eyes and nose and mouth) Remember they have

super low artistic ability and will not expect any sort of masterpiece here.

. Make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches out of crackers, for a snack.

» You can even use these crackers as checker pieces and make a game out of them. One person has jelly crackers and the other person has peanut butter crackers. When you try to jump, you can collect that piece and you can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Continued

https://www.amazon.com/shop/mamaknows_nutrition?listId=243XOII9LYMTN&ref=idea_share_inf





Taste

. Experiment with different flavors of jellies/jams

» If your child is sensitive about the seed in the jelly, mix together ones with and without the seeds

» Add mashed fresh berries (start with just ONE)

» Homemade chia jam

. Add a few chia seeds or a sprinkle of ground flax seeds in the sandwich

. Try different types of spreads:

» almond butter, cashew butter, mixed nut butters, nut-free granola butter, sunflower butter

» Use cream cheese, mascarpone, or butter in place of nut butter

. Try crunchy vs. smooth nut butter

. Add a sprinkle of cinnamon

. Honey instead of jelly

. Toast the bread or heat it on a skillet

» Make a wafflewich by heating it in a waffle maker

» Make it into a panini

. Change the bread: if they’re used to white bread, try dave’s killer bread white

bread done right, or sourdough, then progress to a multigrain or wheat bread

Continued

https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/10-minute-chia-seed-jam/

https://kween.co/collections/all/products/original-granola-butter





Taste

. Use alternatives to bread: bagel, pita, tortilla, english muffin, waffle,

pancakes, or a muffin cut in half and made into a sandwich

. PB&J pizza - bake plain pizza dough, and top with pb & j

. PB&J spread on top of french toast

. Add in mashed or thin sliced banana instead of jelly

. PB&J flavored smoothie -

» 1 cup milk of choice

» 2 soft Medjool dates, pitted

» 2 tablespoons peanut butter

» 1 cup frozen strawberries (about 8 whole strawberries)

» 1/4 cup frozen raspberries

. PB&J yogurt - serve plain, whole milk yogurt with peanut butter and jelly on

top or mixed in

. PB&J banana boat- slice banana lengthwise, top with peant butter and jelly

(and maybe some sprinkles, too!) and slice into pieces

. Frozen PB&J banana bites

. Add peanut butter and jelly to oatmeal. If they accept that, you can transition

to other oatmeal toppings/mix-ins

https://www.healthylittlefoodies.com/frozen-banana-treats/



Chicken Nuggets

Size/Shape

. Cut chicken nuggets in half or bite sized pieces

. Serve different shaped chicken nuggets like dino nuggets

. Go bigger with chicken fingers or chicken tenders

Appearance

. Buy a different brand of chicken nuggets

. Add the cut pieces of chicken nuggets to a meal they like

. Serve the chicken nuggets in a different way

» If they only eat fast food chicken nuggets instead of serving them out of the container, place them on a plate

» You can also change the plate you serve them on, using smaller or larger plates

» Serve with different sides

» If you normally only serve them at dinner, try them at lunchtime

. Use the chicken nuggets in a fun way like:

» Use the nuggets to make shapes or buildings like to cut them into triangles or placing them in the shape of a house.

» If they’re Dino shaped, you can use broccoli or cheese sticks as trees and dino nuggets to be eating them.


Continued



Chicken Nuggets


Taste

. Homemade chicken nuggets

. Chicken meatballs

. Cook plain ground chicken

. Heat nuggets in the microwave or oven, whichever you don’t typically do

. Try offering a sauce with the chicken nuggets, then try changing the types of

sauces offered. If they like to have ketchup, you could try to introduce BBQ or

honey-mustard sauce.

. Try out different types of breaded foods, like fish sticks, popcorn shrimp, tater

tots

» This is a way for you to introduce a different type of food. For example fish, you start with store bought chicken nuggets -> homemade chicken nuggets -> mix chicken nuggets with fish sticks -> just fish sticks -> lightly breaded fish -> plan baked fish

» Remember this usually is a slow process though! You usually have to introduce each food several times before it’s accepted, and then have them accept it several times before you move to the next food


Branching Out, Part 2: Sensory Preferences

D A Y S E V E N

Food is the most sensory experience your little one

goes through!

Every single sense is used. When you introduce new

foods, you will have the best luck by starting with

foods that fit their sensory preferences.

Most picky eaters will have certain textures they

prefer - and you may already have an idea of this

before looking at the chart! But when you look at it

all together, it will help you come up with ideas of

foods to branch out to.

Complete the chart to better understand which types of foods your little one prefers.

Tip: Think about their favorite foods while you

complete the chart. It will help you get the

most accurate picture of their preferences.

See what observations you can make from the results. Look at my sample (I did it for my son, Teddy)

1

2






Reign in snacking

D A Y E I G H T

and get them to come to dinner with an actual appetite

7am Breakfast

9:30am Snack

12 pm Lunch

3pm Snack

5:30pm Dinner

Sample daily scheduleSome kids naturally prefer to eat a larger

breakfast and/or lunch and then not much at

dinnertime. This is okay and I honestly don’t

mind it because it’s a great way for them to

fuel up for what’s to come, vs. refill an empty

tank after the day.

But sometimes snacking gets away from

you, and it can be the root cause that

prevents them from having an appetite at

meals.

» You can limit portions at snack time. It’s appropriate at snack to say, "that’s all for now. We will be having dinner shortly and you can eat as much as you’d like then." This is not to say I want you to leave them starving. But something around 100-200 calories is usually enough for a snack.


Snack drawer?

I generally say no, unless you’re setting clear expectations around it, and they’re able to follow. For

example, maybe you have a snack station with an apple, a granola bar, and a box of raisins. A set up

like this with a small number of options, where they can make a choice that has first been approved by

you, and then they decide when to eat it within a certain time frame that you give the OK to. What we

don’t want is them to have free access to the pantry whenever they want it. They still need you to be the

gatekeeper to keep them on an appropriate schedule with their eating.

Write up a daily meal/snack routine that will work for your family. Toddlers generally should be offered a meal or snack every 2.5-3.5 hours.

BONUS: keep an eye on afternoon snacking. Are they snacking within an hour or so before dinner? This could be affecting their appetite for dinner


Having a set routine will cut out the unnecessary random snacking and makes it easier for you to say, “sorry, it’s not snack time right now,” when they ask for random snacks.



D A Y E I G H T

What do you recommend to break the pouch habit? One

of our twins is a sensory eater and eats limited protein

options, so we use the protein pouches. I really want to

get away from them because he wants them in between

snack and meals. I know it is hindering him trying new

foods but I feel stuck!

First, try to stick to the meal/snack schedule, even

if he asks for them outside of designated meal/

snack times. Remind him that he can have one at

meal time. And you can serve them at meals! I would

first try to get him to eat it on a spoon. Even if he

has one spoonful and then the rest he sucks out of

the pouch. That’s a starting place! I don’t want him

to get stuck on pouches. If we can work towards him

eating it from a spoon, from a bowl, that opens the

opportunity to bring in other flavors and textures

once he’s comfortable.

I find that my daughter eats meals much better without

snacking throughout the day. Do some toddlers not

need snacks? She eats breakfast around 9, lunch

around 12, has a small snack in the afternoon and then

dinner at 5.

This is a fine schedule! I like there to be no more

than 3.5-4 hours between eating opportunities for

toddlers/young kids. So since breakfast isn’t until 9,

it would be hard to squeeze a snack in the morning

without ruining appetite for lunch.

What if they are still hungry in between snacks? I’m

finding that my son is constantly hungry. Should I try

just making it clearer that he won’t get anything else

until the next eating time and if he’s still hungry he

should eat now? I’m trying to find the balance of not

wanting him grazing all day, but also listening to his

hunger cues and only eating if he’s hungry?

First you’ll want to look at what he’s typically eating

at snack time, maybe it’s not filling enough. I

usually aim for about 100-200 calories, sometimes

more, and including at least a protein or a fat, if

not both. So for example JUST an applesauce or

JUST some crackers will not be very filling. But an

applesauce with almond butter stirred in, or paired

with a cheese stick on the side, is going to be more

filling. Pair crackers with peanut butter or avocado

or cheese, for example.

If he’s used to being able to get food in between

snacks, it will take some time for him to adjust

to the new routine and may very well be hungry in

between, but that’s okay. Some hunger is normal

and we want them to be able to tolerate that feeling,

and know that it’s not an emergency.

When she sees something unfamiliar on her plate, she

actually screams and doesn’t want to touch the other

food that she actually eats. What should I do?

Try serving family style, so she can choose what

she’d like from the serving dishes. She doesn’t HAVE

to have something on her plate that she doesn’t

want. You’re still getting her an exposure by offering

the new foods.

D A Y E I G H T

My toddler doesn’t eat as much as he should at dinner

because he waits for that milk before bed. Any ideas?

Move milk with dinner in a cup :) unless you’re

breastfeeding. But if you’re not nursing, I’d serve

milk with dinner now, and then do a separate

bedtime snack if you’re having 2+ hours between

dinner and bed.

I try my best to serve snacks at the table, but

sometimes it’s hard. She might have a small snack in

the car or in her stroller. And sometimes I even serve

lunch in her stroller so she lasts longer on walks. Is this

promoting mindless or distracted eating?

No, that’s called life as a parent with a little kid! It’s

unlikely that you’re going to be able to sit down at

home for every single snack or lunch. It becomes

a problem if you hand her a snack every time

she starts whining on a ride in the car or stroller,

because then they can make the association of, "I

get upset, I get a snack" and I want to avoid that.

Question about if they refuse lunch even though it had

a safe food. Should I offer another snack a few hours

later or offer the lunch they didn’t touch?

It honestly doesn’t matter if you re-serve the lunch

or maybe serve the lunch again tomorrow. What’s

more important is making sure they don’t get the

message that you will keep putting out the same

food again and again until they eat it.

My daughter will eat just enough to take the edge off

at meals and then ask for a snack 30 minutes later

(or sooner), we tell her at meals that if she is hungry

she needs to eat because we won’t be having snacks

after (not immediately after like she asks for). She will

still not eat enough and ask for a snack. We hold our

ground most of the time but she gets hangry and will

have a full on meltdown an hour or so later. So how do

we encourage/get her to eat enough to sustain her until

it’s time to eat again.

You may need to bring a serving of a snack-type

food to the meal, so she’s getting that snacky food

that she likes, but doesn’t have to hold out for it. I

would offer just one serving of the snack food with

the meal, along with another safe food (if she has

other safe foods that are not snack-type foods).

By snack-type foods, I mean almost anything that

comes from the pantry!

Question about the meals and snack schedule? How

perfect should that be and how often (every day?)

Is there a family where the kids perfectly follow the

schedule every single day no matter what? Or are

there snacks that can boost appetite? For example, his

schedule shifts during a weekend or on vacation, so I

know that if I give more snacks he will not eat meals.

Like today, he didn’t have snacks at all, just breakfast

lunch and dinner.

It’s rare to follow the schedule perfectly! Most

people at least have different weekday vs weekend

schedules, and it will all depend on what activities

or things you have going on. And each family’s

schedule may look a little different, too. The main

thing to aim for is at least 2-2.5 hours between

meals/snacks, and no more than 4-4.5 hours in

between.

D A Y E I G H T

My son is all about texture of things. He is five and

won’t eat an apple or piece of mango for example, but

he loves it mashed. He won’t eat any raw vegetable or

fruit except banana, but he eats it in stews and soups.

We are working on this and have gotten to the stage

where he would accept it on the plate or side plate

and also put it in his mouth and spit it out instead of

swallowing. But he shivers with discomfort doing it.

We have tried for a long time, but without any success.

Is it just to keep on trying? We always try to make it

positive and explain where the fruit or veggie comes

from, that the apple is what we use to make the mash

he loves and so on...

First try making small changes to the textures that

he does like. Since he likes mashed - try adding in a

little texture by doing one of the following:

» Don’t mash it fully, allowing a little bit of small chunks

» Add a sprinkle of another food to add some texture:

» Ground flax or ground chia seeds

» Crushed up graham cracker or cheerio crumbs

» Wheat germ

» Stir in a second food with the same texture - like half mango puree, half yogurt

If he accepts these changes, you can keep working

towards increasing the size of the mix-ins (like

bigger chunks of the fruit) until he’s able to eat

actual pieces of the fruit

We don’t want him to be shivering with discomfort,

gagging, or vomiting so if those things are

happening, it’s a sign to take a step backwards

to where he’s more comfortable with the food

progression

Make sure to incorporate other sensory activities

that don’t include food- lots of ideas here

Any tips on helping the mamas not stress and worry as

much about this whole process and feeding their little

ones?

. We often put so much pressure on ourselves and

it sets us up to feel like we’re failing- even when

you’re far from it. Remember that any idea of

feeding your child "perfectly" is only an illusion.

There is no perfect way to feed them, and you are

not failing when you don’t measure up to your idea

of how you want them to eat.

. You CANNOT control what they put in their mouth.

This is an absolute truth. It creates more problems

than good when you try to really control what

they eat. So how you are doing cannottttttt be

measured by what they put in their mouth.

. If the key to a peaceful mealtime is putting out

bread along with the meal, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY

ABOUT THAT. We can’t expect them to run before

they can walk. Them eating the same thing as you

will come over time. In the meantime, it doesn’t

do you any good to stress about it. Remember

that worrying is like a rocking chair - it gives you

something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.

You are in this program and actively doing

something about their picky eating. So let those

worries go, and put your energy into learning and

putting the new techniques into practice.

https://busytoddler.com/sensory-activities/

D A Y E I G H T

How often are ‘treats’ ok? I feel so guilty every time I

give French friends, chicken tenders, a cookie, animal

crackers, and the like. I try to limit it but almost wonder

if I’m too strict.

I like to stick with the once a day rule but

sometimes you’ve gotta bend that, like on holidays,

vacations, days you are out and about for awhile.

You also get a little more wiggle room as they get

older. For a one or two year old I would try to limit

as much as possible, but if they have an older

sibling or you’re out a lot they will probably get

more opportunities for treats. When they are ages

3+ I wouldn’t worry about, for example, cookies at a

snack time and french fries at dinner. Under 3, I’d

say, let’s try to pick one or the other for the day. So

my general rule of thumb is once a day, but it’s okay

if some days are more.

Should I be concerned if after being served dinner she

immediately asks for a pouch and only eats the pouch

and her milk?

Serve the pouch WITH the meal if you know she

needs that as her safe food option. But pouches for

toddlers are kind of like Lindt chocolate truffles for

me. I will absolutely eat one even if I am not hungry.

Many young kids will go ahead and suck down that

pouch even when they are not that hungry. So you

either serve the pouch along with the meal, or you

don’t bring it out when she asks right after the meal.

Because if you bring it out after serving the other

foods, she will probably do that more frequently, to

avoid eating anything else that’s less liked.

Is it okay if I encourage my almost 4 yo to take a bite of

something before she gets something else to help her

learn to taste and try new things? If she doesn’t like

it we wouldn’t push further but this way she would at

least be trying something. Thoughts?

For some kids this will work but most kids

(especially more hesitant ones) do not respond

well to this. It rarely leads to them eating more of

the food you encourage them to taste. I know that

to us, rationally, we’re like, "okay, I know that they

are going to like the taste of rice. So I’m going to

ask her to taste it before I give her more fruit. There

is nothing wrong with rice. She can handle it."

BUT, remember they have a not-yet-developed and

not-rational brain at their age. So they cannot go

through that same thought process, and think, "well

heck, it’s not gonna kill me to try this rice" They are

likely thinking, "this rice looks weird, I don’t know

what it tastes like, I feel nervous about tasting it, I

just want to leave it there and not eat it." Then if we

encourage them to try it, the pressure builds up. It

often feels uncomfortable to them, and does not

lead to a relaxed and enjoyable experience of trying

that food. They might not even be able to focus on

the taste, because they’re still thinking about how

you’re telling them to do something they don’t want

to do.

As a parent, it’s an incredibly frustrating position

to be in. I get it, I do. But I want to encourage you to

keep the long-term goal in mind. We want them to

be kids who are confident in trying other foods and

willingly eat a variety of foods. It takes longer to get

there.

Instead of just asking or encouraging them to take

a bite, make it about fun/exploration instead. "This

rice smells very plain to me. What does your nose

smell?" "I wonder if you could get ONE tiny piece of

rice on your spoon without using your fingers. Just

one! Can you try to get it?"


D A Y E I G H T

If one night my daughter only eats her safe food for

dinner, and let’s say that is fruit not a main item like

chicken, should I offer her something else nutritious

(not dessert) before bedtime? I know when this

happens she is hungry because I have done this in the

past and she eats what I give her before bed, as long as

it’s a safe food of course. :(

Yes you can either do a bedtime snack or add a

second safe food, like milk or bread, to make the

meal more filling

Question about snacking - I’m having trouble coming

up with ideas. My son is very particular. For instance

will only eat ritz whole wheat crackers now and not

even the regular ritz or Trader Joe’s ritz. Down to

bananas, applesauce and one smoothie pouch for

"fruit". He’s always asking for a snack. This is hard. How

can I find other things to offer him?

It’s okay if you have to do some variation on the

same few choices every day. I would add in some

new options to give him the choice for those

sometimes too. So it could look like this:

Day 1

AM snack: smoothie pouch and crackers

PM snack: bananas (can have more than 1)

Day 2

AM snack: sliced banana, side of yogurt with

sprinkles on top

PM snack: applesauce and crackers

Day 3

AM snack: applesauce with chocolate chips

PM snack: smoothie pouch and different crackers


Breaking free from their likes/dislikes

D A Y N I N E

Do you ever feel afraid to serve something they don’t like? Or maybe not afraid, but you’ve given

up hope on them trying something new? You just want to get them fed, and so you stick with the

things you know that work. Even if that’s a pretty small list of foods. You don’t want to deal with the

rejection or them throwing a fit because you’ve been there before. You’re tired of dealing with it!

You don’t have to be held hostage to what they like.It’s not realistic to get your favorite meal every

single night of the week- even as an adult who is the

one doing the cooking. So we need to teach them

to be adaptable and flexible at meal times, so they

don’t become high maintenance jerks (lol).

Want to know how to get around this barrier? Make sure to cook what YOU like, too!

If you are the primary one doing the cooking, add

some of your favorites into the menu. Your likes

matter too, not just your little one. I also find that I

personally dread cooking less if I know I’m looking

forward to eating some part of the meal.

Set their expectations » For example, "Tuesday will be chicken nuggets for dinner. But tonight we’re having pork and sweet potatoes. In our family, we take turns getting our favorites at dinner. Tomorrow is your night!"


It’s not your job to please them 100% of the time » Your only job is to have a safe food for them. Beyond that, you don’t need to cater to them or make something different for them if they don’t want the other foods. Sometimes they’re not hungry, or they’re in a weird mood. As long as there’s a safe food out, you do not need to go get them something different.

» The more effort you put into giving them their favorites, the more they expect that and demand that from you. If you’re in this spot now, you can change it! There WILL be push back, but you need to get through the transition phase where they adapt to the new normal. Remember that it’s okay for this process to be uncomfortable and for them to be displeased. But keep the goal in mind- you want them to become a child who is flexible, willing to eat something even if it’s not perfect, and to break free from completely catering meals to them.


Identify your main barrier - is it being worried they won’t get enough to eat? Is it the fear of them rejecting everything you make? Something else? Share it in our IG group

and I’ll talk through these barriers with you in in our next live q&a.

» If you are starting from a place where they are used to always getting a plate full of favorites/safe foods - start by adding one item that is not a safe food, and take one safe option away. For example - if a meal they like is nuggets, fries, and fruit, make a switch to nuggets, plus an item that you were eating (like a bite sized portion of baked potato, for example), plus fruit they like. You can work slowly away from all safe foods -> mostly safe foods -> just 1 or 2 safe foods at a meal. This transition can take a few weeks and that’s fine!

D A Y N I N E

I need some ideas/ inspiration on how to bring back

family meal time as a positive experience. My toddler (2

yo) loses it every time we tell her it’s time to sit at the

table. I know now the things we were doing wrong in the

past but she still sees sitting at the table as a negative

thing and I try to make it fun and happy now, but it’s

hard when she already is coming to the table with fear

of being pressured to eat before we even begin.

It’s time to totally switch it up! Try a few of these

things to see if you can bring back some positivity.

» Have a picnic on the floor (I usually put down towels or a big blanket I can shake out outside after we eat).

» Have a "restaurant" meal where you pretend to be a server and make a menu and let her "order"

» Try a "snack meal" where you put different foods in a muffin tin and let her choose from there

» Change where your seats are at the table to make it feel different

» Facetime with a favorite relative or friend to eat the meal with them

» Disappear for a meal if you think she may feel less pressure. Free pass to go take some time to yourself, if your spouse or another caregiver can step in!

Communicate with her about what’s going on. Even

a 2 year old can usually understand what you’re

saying, even if she can’t verbalize that.

» "I know we used to make you eat things you didn’t want to eat. We are not going to do that anymore. That was wrong. Now you don’t have to eat something if you don’t want to. I am making this promise to you"

» You may want to repeat this a few times (not during mealtimes to her) so she knows you mean it

I feel like I’m pretty good at planning meals that

incorporate a safe food. But, my almost 3 yo can hold

out to a point that makes me uncomfortable. Then I

find myself keeping a mental scorecard of "when is the

last time he had something substantial"

It is not unusual for them to ONLY eat the safe food

- for most or all meals, for what feels like forever.

When you’re stuck in the rut of not adding any new

foods, it can feel really hopeless. And when you go

through that mental checklist of how you feel about

their overall nutrition- it can make you feel even

worse. And usually when we hit that point, that’s

when we want to do SOMETHING. We want to be in

control. It feels really out of control when no matter

what, they gravitate toward the least nutritious

food. That’s when I want you to say to yourself, "what

is in my control?" Serving a variety of foods. Mixing

up the safe foods that you offer. Food chaining to

provide opportunities to try something similar to

something they like. I promise their picky eating is

not a life sentence. If you keep at it, they will slowly

start adding more foods that they’re willing to eat.

He tells me he is hungry, and then he will refuse his

normal safe foods. And round and round we go!

Make sure to still stick to the meal/snack schedule,

and really enforce that routine. If he’s not solid in

that routine, it can be really challenging to break

from this cycle.

If you’re sticking to the schedule, and have been

solid in that routine, then I would remind him, "this

is what’s available at this meal. You don’t have to

eat it. But this is the only food available until the

next time we eat which is ____"

D A Y N I N E

My fear is dinnertime screaming and emotional

breakdowns. I found this happened every time I

encouraged new foods or offered something slightly

different than he was used to (a new brand of nuggets,

or wheat pasta instead of white) eventually I started

to cave and just give favorites. Now I need to learn to

reverse this without the drama!

It’s so hard to go back to that place of screaming

and emotional breakdowns, and it makes sense

that you would gravitate towards whatever you need

to do to make mealtimes less stressful. Start SMALL.

This means you can start by still giving favorites,

but introducing something new NOT on his plate. It

does NOT have to be on his plate for it to count as an

exposure.

Your mantra is going to be, "you don’t have to eat it"

If he starts getting into breakdown mode, you can

always remind him, "you don’t have to eat it" But

you can also try connecting to him in that moment

before the screaming and breakdown starts. If you

can see that he’s reacting negatively to a new food,

say something like "hmm...I see a frown on your face.

What is going on" And then if he says something

like "I DON’T WANT THAT!" you can say, "You don’t

want that. It looks different than what you’re used

to" If he proceeds to throw a fit despite you trying

to help him de-escalate, remind yourself that he

is processing through his feelings and it is NOT a

reflection on you at all. It also doesn’t mean you

need to get pulled into his tornado. Even if you have

to leave the room for a minute, try to focus inward

and say, he is safe, he is feeling a feeling, and it is

okay. This will pass.

My fear is our 15 mo going to bed with an empty belly.

He does pretty well with his safe foods and at least has

4-6 ounces of milk with dinner so I guess it shouldn’t

be too much of a concern. But with teething, overnight

sleep has become somewhat more disrupted and we

are sometimes wondering if he’s hungry if he didn’t eat

much at dinner.

It’s rare for them to wake up out of hunger when

they are over 1 years old, getting enough chances

to eat throughout the day (and being allowed to eat

until they are satisfied), and growing well. (Having

a lower weight percentile doesn’t mean they’re not

growing well, FYI! If they’re on the lower end but

staying on their own curve, then that’s not a cause

for concern.) Sleep disruptions happen. Sometimes

it’s teething, sometimes it’s a regression. I always

defer to Becca at Little Z Sleep for all sleep issues!

She has helped us personally, and thousands of

other families, too.

For me, if the safe food isn’t something substantial

like pasta or nuggets, instead it’s corn/yogurt/bread

and dip, then my fear becomes "what did my 2.5 yo eat

that was substantial enough to keep her full" as well as

"she’s not eating enough nutrient dense foods/foods

across different food groups"

A few things to consider when you find yourself in

that position:

1. If the safe food is only a fruit/vegetable, add a

second safe food like milk or bread that will be more

substantial

2. Are they eating heartily? You can tell the

difference between picking or nibbling, and when

they’re really hungry and going for it. Chances are if

they are not eagerly eating, they don’t have much of

an appetite, and I wouldn’t worry about getting them

more calories for the night.

3. Toddlers often have one, maybe 2 GOOD meals a

day, and it’s rare that they have a strong appetite

and eat really well at all 3 meals.

4. It is normal for their diet to be at least 50% carbs,

and often even more than that. So please drop any

concern about them carb-loading; it’s simply what

toddlers do.

https://littlezsleep.mykajabi.com/a/21133/skJJsjJ8


Know your role.

D A Y T E N

Jobs that you can get rid of!!

(Based on Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility)

IF they eat at the meal, and HOW MUCH they eat.

Deciding WHAT is served, WHEN it is served and WHERE.

Your job in feeding Their job

As parents, we often put way too much responsibility and pressure on ourselves. And, it’s hard to break

away from the mindset of when they’re a baby and you literally are responsible for every single thing for

them. But as they start to get somewhat independent, we can foster even more independence by stepping

back in the areas they’re developmentally able to handle for themselves.


Kids do a lot better with eating and meal-times when we have the right boundaries in place.

If we allow them to decide what to eat (our job) it gives them too much power and responsibility; it’s not developmentally appropriate.

Could you handle meal planning when you were 5?

Does it stress you out to think about having that

job as a kid? Now, I know you’re not asking your

toddler to write out the meal plan for the week. But

if you get into the habit of allowing them to tell you

what to make, it can actually be an uncomfortable

position for them, even though it appears to be what

they want.

They feel the safest when we have appropriate boundaries in place.

And when you follow this division of responsibility,

they feel safe that you are always going to feed

them, and that they don’t have to worry about

getting something they can eat. (Remember your

safe food.)

This also means that we have to trust them to decide how much to eat and whether they eat at a meal.

This can be really hard to step back from! It’s a

natural tendency as a parent to encourage them

to get enough, and to worry about them getting

enough (or too much, if they have a big appetite).

So with this divide of what is your job and what is their job, you no longer have to bribe, force, encourage, or use any sort of tactic to get them to eat.

Backing off is a huge step forward, and even though

it can feel like you’re not achieving the goal of

getting them to eat, you’re still achieving a huge

goal! You’re empowering them to listen to their

body’s needs, which only they can know. There is

NO way for us to know how much they need to eat

at any given moment. Only their body can tell them

that. And we want them to be really amazing at

listening to their body so that they don’t develop

issues with overeating or an unhealthy relationship

with food as they get older.

Memorize the 3 W’s: What, When, Where. And do an experiment! If you’re in the habit of bribing, forcing, encouraging, or using any pressure tactics to get them

to eat- don’t do it today. See what happens!



D A Y T E N

Wondering if you have any advice for mealtime when

you are dealing with a sick toddler (which we are now

thanks to cold and flu season)

Staying hydrated is the number one goal and

it’s okay to not stick 100% to the meal and snack

schedule while they are sick. They may have more

frequent snacks throughout the day and not have

an appetite for a full meal. That’s okay! Some ideas

that are hydrating and usually more appealing while

they’re sick:

» Watered down 100% juice with ice cubes

» A popsicle made from 100% juice

» Yogurt

» Smoothie

» Fruit (especially watermelon, pineapple, strawberries, raspberries)

» Milk (it’s okay to serve milk even with congestion. It may thicken mucus slightly but will not increase production. If it’s the only thing they will drink, do not stress about serving it.)

» Warm herbal tea (100% caffeine free) with a tsp of honey

» Warm broth

How to best achieve our goals, knowing that our son

receives lunch and snack at daycare and they are out of

control.

If the daycare provides the food, there’s not much

you can do about what goes on there, but you may

want to have a discussion with the teacher to

explain that you’re working on their picky eating

and that you’re following a no-pressure approach to

mealtimes, so you ask that they avoid encouraging

or pushing your child to try something or eat a

certain amount.

Then, do your best to introduce new foods when they

are at home on the weekends.


What you can expect from your toddler

D A Y E L E V E N

(and mostly what you can’t)

T H I N G S Y O U C A N ’ T E X P E C T F R O M T H E M :

Remember, we are putting them in charge of the "if"

and "how much" and a lot of times it may seem like

they eat nothing. But unless health complications

pop up, it’s usually totally normal for them to

have times when they have a low appetite, and it’s

impossible to predict when that will happen. Same

thing goes for them eating an amount you think is

too much!

Their body is really smart, and typically regulates over the course of a few days.

They’ll eat an amount you think is enough

1They’ll eat it because they said they would

2

This right here is one of the main reasons that I say not to bend over backwards to cater to their demands.

They may say "yes" when you ask if they want

something, and then you make it, and then they eat

exactly zero bites. What gives. At this age, they’re

not able to make that kind of a promise -- they

either don’t know what they’re agreeing to, they’re

saying yes just because they think you want them

to, or they realize they’re not actually hungry when

the food is in front of them. So it’s okay to ask,

"would you like some of __?" but then you have to

drop the expectation that they will actually eat it.

Yes, toddlers are frustrating.


They’ll sit through a whole meal3

SIT. DOWN. How many times do you say that during a meal??

Here’s what you can expect with sitting:

You can work up to 5 minutes, 10 minutes max but

you realistically often need to start with as short as

2 minutes and work up from there

Give them clear expectations before the meal that you expect them to sit until they are excused.

They may want to come back and eat some more,

after they get up to go play. You may want to

establish a rule like you can come back once, but

after that, dinner is over. That way they learn that

they need to sit and eat until they are done. As you

first work to establish this, it’s okay to give some

leeway, and several warnings that their plate will be

taken away, and dinner will be over.

Visual timers are awesome!

This one is great- they can see the time going down

by the red color. It’s something they can actually

understand, since saying "5 minutes" is kind of

meaningless to them at this age.

Avoid screens being the norm at meals, even though they do help keep them seated.

Need help weaning them off screens? Need help

weaning them off screens? Go to today’s Q&A.

"My daughter will love something one night, then refuse the next!"

Toddlers don’t yet have a good ability to understand

logical connections like we do. So when you say to

them,"you’ve had this before! You liked it!" It sounds

perfectly reasonable and rational, right? Except

to them, they can’t make the connection -- even

though you’re spelling it out for them. So this is yet

another time in toddler parenting when you’ve gotta

exercise patience, and know that just because they

had it yesterday doesn’t mean they’ll definitely have

it today.

When they reject something they’ve had before

(even something they’ve had a lot), don’t let it take

on any big meaning. Just think, "okay, they didn’t

want that today. I can still offer it again in a few

days. It’s no big deal."

They’ll it eat because they ate it before

2


Identify where you are having trouble with expectations - share it on today’s IG page so we can all help each other out

https://www.amazon.com/Secura-60-Minute-Mechanical-Countdown-Collapsible/dp/B07PKTNYWQ/ref=as_li_ss_tl?dchild=1&keywords=visual+timer&link_code=qs&qid=1600270500&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExM0xNUURMQzgzQUE1JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMzUwMzMzM1VKUjNIT085OTVFMSZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNDYyMDQwMjJRQVZTRjFFVjdVViZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=&linkCode=sl1&tag=kaciebarnes09-20&linkId=bd9faac291281f1221aab6159be8f3fd&language=en_US


D A Y E L E V E N

Our tv is in viewing distance from our kitchen table.

We’ve gotten in a bad habit of having it on during

meals. My 5 yo son particularly asks for it at dinner.

He’s been in this habit since he was very young and we

used screens to get him to eat. If I say, we can watch TV

after dinner, I’m worried he’ll rush through dinner and

not eat enough. What would you suggest? I’ve heard of

people using timers?

Yep. Very common for them to say, "I’m done!" just

so they can get the screen. I would communicate

directly about it and commit to the change. "We

usually watch tv at meals, but we’re going to make a

change. We’re going to eat without watching shows.

I know that’s different than what you are used to.

We’re going to have our meal for 5 minutes before

I turn on a show" Now they may express some

feelings about that. I would let them say what they

need to, then mirror their feelings back, "you’re not

happy about this. You want a show now, and I’m

saying it’s not time yet" When you start the meal,

set a timer for 5 minutes. Compliment them on the

behavior you like seeing. "I see you sitting calmly."

Or "I like being here talking to you." When the timer

goes off, you can put on the show, whether or not

they behaved well during the 5 minutes. We want

them to know that you’re trustworthy. They’re more

likely to improve behavior if they know you’re going

to hold up your end of the bargain. After a few weeks

of success, you can increase to 6 minutes, and

slowly work up to 10. Or, you may find that he gets

to a point of naturally finishing his meal and then

transitioning to a show, without requiring the timer.

I’m worried no TV draws more attention to the food he

may not like and make a big deal about.

That can happen. And that’s okay. While you

progress through this program, (and after it’s over),

he will realize that you’re not going to force him to

eat anything, and that usually helps. You also can

give him a side plate to move food to that he doesn’t

want on his plate.

Is it okay if they eat basically the same thing for

breakfast every morning? Right now he’s into muffins

and yogurt pouches. It’s easy, I know he’ll eat it. Then

it’s less trouble and arguing to get out the door for

daycare. I change up his lunches and dinners, but

didn’t know if I needed to add new things to breakfast

too.

I do like to have some variety in breakfast, even if

you have maybe 2 or 3 go-to options on weekdays

and try something different on a weekend or a day

you have some extra time. With the muffins and

yogurt pouches, I’d try to at least switch the brand

or the flavor so it’s not always the exact same every

day.

I think I expect my daughter to eat the same things

other kids are eating. She has friends who eat

sandwiches and mixed dishes like chili or soup. I have

to remind myself she’s a different kid with different

preferences. Today I made mac and cheese (which she

loves) and added peas. She took one look at it and said

"no peas!" And picked them all out. Should I consider

her touching them a win?

Yes mama! I know it’s hard when you see other kids

easily eating the foods you wish your daughter

would eat. But remember that each kid has their

own challenges. Totally okay that she didn’t want

the peas, and I do like that she picked them off by

herself and that it didn’t upset her so much that she

couldn’t keep it together at the meal. So yes, this is

a win for today!


D A Y E L E V E N

Young kids who are picky eaters AND more tentative

with new things in general are often kids who

tend to be more rigid in their thinking. This means

they may have a harder time adapting to change,

specifically a change in rules. They like things to be

the "right" way, and can be thrown off when things

don’t go the way they normally do. To encourage

more flexible thinking, vs. rigid thinking, you can:

Think about ways you can change your normal

daily routine, if you tend to be pretty structured/

similar in the day-to-day. This helps them better

adapt to change and new things. "We usually get

dressed before breakfast, but today we’ll do pajama

breakfast and get dressed after"

Make small changes to the rules of a game you

play. This can even work for a toddler who isn’t

playing board games or things like that. Think about

something you do frequently- and you can even

change where you do it in the house, or change the

order of things. "I’m going to hide the pieces of your

puzzle for you to find BEFORE we put it together"

Teach and model self talk to work through a

problem when things are out of the norm. It may feel

silly talking it all out like this, but it demonstrates

to them that you can be calm and work through

something that doesn’t feel right. "Hmm, we don’t

have any mustard left, and I usually like to put it on

my sandwich. This is not what I’m used to. But I can

find a solution. Maybe I can try a different spread

on my sandwich, or I can have some soup instead

for lunch. I think I’ll just put some avocado on my

bread, that sounds good! Okay, let’s finish getting

lunch together"

Find other ways to introduce new things. Go to a

different playground than you normally do. Take

a different route when you go for a walk. Put on a

toddler-friendly dance or yoga class on youtube to

find new ways to move the body. Etc.

I think I expect my daughter to eat a wider range of foods, but I need to remind myself that her personality is more

reserved and tentative with new things (not just food related). Is there a way I can foster this personality trait in

her and still help her to expand her palate of foods she will eat? When we gently encourage/request her to taste

different foods on her plate she usually will ( the simple foods and there is some push back). If she doesn’t like it

we don’t push for her to eat it. We focus on the taste. I’ve read places you shouldn’t do this, but I feel like without

doing it she will be 8 or 10 and still eating only a few things. Which approach is best in this situation?


Don’t put all the nutrition pressure on dinner

D A Y T W E L V E

We’re talking a lot about dinner here, obviously,

but sometimes we run into trouble because it’s

the only time of day when we’re hoping that they’ll

eat a protein or vegetable. It often makes us feel

disappointed if they don’t eat veggies or protein

at dinner - but you can help solve this problem by

offering them at other meals, too.

By the way...fruit offers THE SAME nutritional

benefits as vegetables. Vitamins, minerals, fiber,

and antioxidants -- so even if they do not eat

veggies but DO eat fruit, you can take the stress off

of the veggies. Go back to basics with veggies and

focus on exposing them (through the steps you

learned yesterday).

This makes it easier to be okay with them only

eating the one safe food at dinner, because you

know they’ve had other opportunities throughout

the day to get good nutrients in, and you’re not

counting on dinner to be the main nutrition of the

day.

They may not eat meat at all, regardless of when you

serve it. That’s okay, too. If this is something you

have questions about, read this post.


Serve fruit and/or vegetables with breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Remember you can’t control what they actually eat.


https://mamaknowsnutrition.com/toddler-wont-eat-meat/


Say this, not that

D A Y T H I R T E E N

I honestly hate giving you "don’t" lists, because I

prefer to stick to the positive and the things we

want to do, vs. focusing on things to avoid. But, the

reason I’m sharing this "don’t" list is because it’s

going to help take off pressure (or prevent it from

happening in the first place) and bring you a LOT

more success with your little one at mealtimes.

And you can drop the tension that you feel about

mealtime coming up, because we are going to

eliminate a lot of the common stressful situations.

Instead of... Try...

You have to finish ___ to get dessert

Allow a portion of dessert along with a meal, if dessert is an option that day,

instead of withholding it for later.

Why: Making them eat something before dessert may get them to eat what

you want them to, but it breaks the rule of them deciding if and how much

to eat. We need them to be in charge of their body’s intake, so they don’t lose

touch with those essential internal cues that tell them how much to eat. This

prevents issues with overeating as they get older.

"You’re so picky" to child / comments like "she’ll never eat that" (to partner)

It’s okay if you don’t want to eat that today. Can you push it to the side with

your fork?

Why: I want to avoid them thinking "something is wrong with me" or thinking

that they aren’t capable of trying new foods, "because mom says I don’t like

anything"


Instead of... Try...

Eat your carrots be-cause they’re healthy!

Who can crunch their carrots the loudest?

Why: Toddlers don’t care about being healthy, haha! They care more about

things being fun

Just try it.

Refer back to your list of exposures, and meet them where they are, whether that’s the tolerance, interaction, smelling, or touching. Those all come before tasting. You’re likely going to start a battle of wills if you try to make them taste it when they’re not ready.

A note on dessertThis is up to you to decide how often you’d like to serve it. For a child under 2, I would say that their

main "dessert" option should be fruit or something without added sugar. If they are over 2, you may

want to have some rules in place like, dessert on the weekends, for example. It’s dependent on your

child’s personality and their preference for sweets. Some will ask for dessert often, others could take

it or leave it. So for some children you may want to do a small dessert every single day to avoid them

getting overly preoccupied and obsessed with it. I much rather them enjoy dessert daily than have

you try to limit/restrict and then they are asking for it more and more.

Check out these blog posts for additional help with dessert!


Start mealtime with FUN and don’t say anything about trying a food. We want to encourage a feeling of calm at mealtimes, to help reduce their fear or anxiety about

new foods. Play a song they like when you start the meal, tell a silly story, or ask them questions if they’re old enough. I like to play the "which is better?" game with my kids.

They love telling me what they like! I’ll ask random things like:

Red or blue • Lions or elephants • Flying or swimming • Running or jumping

How to handle dessert How much dessert should they have

https://mamaknowsnutrition.com/sweets-treats-handle-dessert-kids/

https://mamaknowsnutrition.com/how-much-dessert-should-i-let-my-kid-eat/


D A Y T W E L V E

My son (2.5 yo) attends daycare full time and the

majority of his daily reports show him refusing most

of his lunch and then doubling down during afternoon

snack time. The teachers think he refuses lunch

because he’s holding out for something "better" at

snack time and he knows he can request extra. My

question is, should I have the teachers cap his snack to

a reasonable sized serving and not provide additional

(although they will provide extra to other kids) to try

and help him have more of a balanced day or will it

create more harm?

This is tricky, because we do want to make sure he’s

getting enough calories while he’s at daycare so he

can concentrate on playing and participating, not

just in meltdown hunger mode. If there is not a safe

food at lunch for him, I would ask if they can provide

him something at lunchtime in addition to what is

served. For snack time, I would still want to allow

him a 2nd serving since the other kids are allowed

this as well. But, I would suggest leaving it at just

2 servings. It’s definitely a challenge when they are

not at home, there’s only so much you can control!

In today’s lesson you recommend giving some of the

dessert with the meal. I have done that in the past and

she will just eat the dessert and want to be done or

ask for more dessert. She’s no longer interested in her

dinner. Any tips on this? I am really hesitant to give

dessert with the meal now.

Yes, this is common and a very likely scenario when

you serve a portion of dessert along with a meal. So

why am I okay with this? In most cases, they aren’t

that hungry if they only eat the dessert. When they

ask for more, you can say "just one serving with

dinner, you can choose something else if you’d

still like to eat." They’re allowed to feel frustrated

by that, but stay firm with your boundary. And it’s

okay if they ONLY eat the dessert. I know you’d prefer

they eat something more nutritious. It feels pretty

unbalanced when their dinner is just a dessert. But

by taking this route, it leads you to the long-term

prize of them being an intuitive eater who can listen

to their body, doesn’t routinely overeat, knows what

foods make them feel their best, and sees food as

just food. It isn’t something that makes them feel

guilty or bad about themselves. Is this the future

you would choose for your child?

My daughter is 3 and her cousins are 3 and 5. They

spend a lot of time together, including a few meals a

week. The parents of her cousins use dessert as bribes

to get the kids to take bites and finish plates. I have

never done this but it proves to be difficult when there

are 2 different parenting styles at the same meal. Any

suggestions on how to handle this?

I would talk to your daughter privately at an

appropriate time to tell her that she only needs to

listen to what her body is telling her about what

foods to eat and how much. Her cousin’s parents

do things differently in their family, but she doesn’t

have to do the same thing as them.

If they are also trying to do the same with your

daughter at meals, I would talk to them and say,

respectfully, something like, "I just wanted to talk

to you about mealtime real quick, I noticed that

you’ve been encouraging her to eat more bites, and

I totally appreciate you trying to help her eat more,

but would it be okay if you didn’t say anything to her

about eating more? I’ve noticed that she feels kind

of pressured by it and I just want to avoid that for

her"

You’ve talked about seat height. I noticed that our

chairs are definitely too low for my son. He is newly 4,

and I don’t really want to invest in an entirely new seat

for him. But are there any boosters or something like

that that you recommend? To sit on top of the dining

chair?

Definitely! First I would try just a seat cushion or

pillow (you can put a towel over it to keep it clean

if you’d like) and see if that helps. Or, you can try

something like these chair risers.

Usually kids do better with a place for their feet too,

so you can either use a small kid-size chair or a

stool under the table for him to rest his feet on. Or,

tie an exercise band around the legs of the chair,

where he can rest his feet or play with the band,

which does help fidgety kids stay seated longer.

My 5yo son always eats one cream cheese toast and one

almond butter toast. This morning I tried just giving

him one type-the almond butter toast - and some cereal

on the side. He totally freaked out whining/crying

"where is my cream cheese toast" I tried to say we are

changing it up, but he didn’t like that explanation. He

was relentless and I was tired so I ended up saying

"If you ask nicely and start eating the breakfast I

prepared I will make you cream cheese too" but now I

feel defeated! How do I switch up his breakfast like we

discussed and explain it to him in a way that he can

understand?

Kids who are REALLY used to their routine can feel

unsafe when it gets changed. If your little one seems

very upset by small changes, one thing that will

help is preparing them beforehand and giving them

some choice. "Starting tomorrow we’re going to start

rotating breakfast, so one day will be cream cheese

toast, and the next day will be almond butter toast.

Which one do you want to have tomorrow?"

D A Y T W E L V E


D A Y T W E L V E

When including new foods with the meal, is it okay if

the new food is just a little bite size amount? And the

rest of the meal is safe foods? Or should it be mainly

the new food, with a little of the safe food so they at

least eat something? Or can it depend on the day/

meal? For example, if I know my son is very unlikely to

try the new food, is it okay to just serve a bite or two,

alongside the safe food?

I always recommend starting with a small amount

of a new food - they can always have more if they

eat it! They’re more likely to try a small bite than

dive into a large serving. So I say it’s best to serve

the more likely tiny taste, than the "hopeful" serving

that we wish they would eat :)

It also helps prevent waste when you do a smaller

serving size!

Is it true we shouldn’t praise them for eating? Do you

think that really does have a significant impact on

them feeling pressure etc...?

It’s more that you don’t want it to become a

standard all the time thing. What we’re trying to

avoid is them looking to you for approval with their

eating or for you to be giving them cues on whether

they’ve eaten enough, if they should eat more, etc.

We also don’t want them to feel like they have to try

new foods just to please you, or that they are only

"good" in your eyes if they eat the food you want

them to.

It’s okay to say things like, "I love how you’re sitting

at the table with me." "You’re doing a great job using

your fork." "Wow you are chewing so well!" "Thanks

for getting started on your dinner." "I love seeing

your smiling face at the table.""It’s cool hearing you

say ‘mmm.’ I’m glad you’re enjoying your food."


Do we have to eat at the same time as the kids?

D A Y F O U R T E E N

Strategies and real talk

There’s a phase when it’s nearly impossible to just

sit down and enjoy a meal if your little one is awake.

Like no matter what you do, something always

disturbs your 2 minutes of sitting down when the

food is still hot. They have to poop, or they have

a meltdown about the color of the plate you gave

them, or they need you to cut something for them,

or they spilled their drink... It’s literally not relaxing

at all to sit down to dinner together when you have

young ones.

But everyone says it’s good to have family meals!!

Yes, in an ideal world you have family meals. But

I’m fully giving you permission to eat later than

your kids, most of the time, if that’s what is more

enjoyable for you. You can still make just one meal if

you typically eat later than your little one. We’ll chat

more about how to achieve that in a minute.

How to make it work, realistically:Aim for at least one night of week where you

eat dinner with them. It helps them to see you

eating the foods you want them to eventually

eat, and to have a social experience at the

meal.

If they’re eating earlier than you, still sit down

with them- even if it’s for just 3 to 5 minutes.

It’s good to have a routine of sitting down

with them, even if you’re not going to eat your

meal. (If it’s not you who’s home to give them

dinner, just ask whoever is in charge to sit

with them.)

Family meals do not need to occur at dinner. Eating

any meal of the day with them counts as a family

meal! Also? Just one adult and one child makes a

family meal. No pressure on getting everyone to sit

down together at the same time all the time.

G O O D T O K N O W


Serve leftovers from the night before, if available

. If you’re not going to cook until later, use leftovers

from the night before to serve to them so you’re

not always throwing together "kid food" for them

. Serve a teeny tiny tasting portion of the leftovers

and describe what they are, alongside a safe food

» Teeny tiny tasting portion: think pea-sized! They can always have more. It’s better to start with less, vs. a large portion that can be overwhelming

Alternatively, use components from the meal you’re making to serve them.

Like if you’re making a stir fry (or made one the

night before), save plain rice for them. This is totally

okay and still is progress towards them eating the

same meal as you.

Consider introducing new foods at a different

time like lunchtime or afternoon snack, when they

can see you eating them too

N I G H T S Y O U ’ R E E A T I N G L A T E R T H A N T H E M

If leftovers are not safe foods

Benefits of family meals

» Better academic performance.

» Higher self-esteem.

» Greater sense of resilience.

» Lower risk of substance abuse.

» Lower risk of teen pregnancy.

» Lower risk of depression.

» Lower likelihood of developing eating disorders.

» Lower rates of obesity.

Choose one of these strategies for tonight or tomorrow!



D A Y F O U R T E E N

My son eats dinner between 5:30 and 6:15pm We usually sit with our son when he eats and I would get a small

plate with the same food he would eat and eat with him; my husband would just have water or juice and seat with

us; but we have dinner after he goes to bed; which is really bad because I’m having two dinners! Would it be okay

if I don’t eat with my son and just sit and watch?

If you can eat with him for breakfast and/or lunch, then I wouldn’t stress about dinner in this season of life!

Just make sure you’re not staring at him while he eats dinner, ha! Sometimes we unknowingly make them

feel anxious about eating if we’re overly invested in watching/monitoring what they are eating.


Last day!

D A Y F I F T E E N

Final Q&A and celebrate your wins!

At this point, you’ve learned how to use your child’s safe foods to help you plan meals. You’re no

longer stuck making their same few favorites over and over again. You know how to set up the day

for success, with an appropriate meal/snack routine. You have a firm grasp on YOUR job, vs. their

job with eating. You’ve stepped back some of your expectations, and know what is appropriate for

this age level at meals. You’ve relaxed about veggies, knowing that they are not the only way to get

the best nutrition. And, you have a clear path to follow when introducing new foods, acknowledging

that it’s a process and we can’t expect them to dive right into trying something new. You also know

if your little one would benefit from an evaluation with a feeding therapist. And, you know how to

make mealtimes more enjoyable by avoiding putting pressure on them to eat.

Celebrate your wins!

Today is all about looking back on the past two

weeks and seeing what you’ve accomplished. You

can also use this as a catch up or review day.

Answer these questions(just hit ‘reply’ to this email to send your answers back to me!)

What stands out as a big (or small) win to you over the course of the challenge?

What has changed in the way you approach meals with your picky eater?

What is still a sticking point for you? Is there something you need more help on?


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BY MAMA KNOWS NUTRITION