Business English Writing Strategies 1 Business Writing ... Arinas Pellón April 2002 v.3 Class Notes “

Business English Writing Strategies 1

Ismael Arinas Pellón April 2002 v.3 Class Notes

Business Writing Strategies (Introduction)

1. Structuring information in English

The placing of information within sentences and paragraphs in English can be approached in two ways. The first and most traditional one is by looking at the order of the subject, verb, objects and other elements in sentences. But here we are presenting another approach which is more interested in the position that information has within sentences depending on its importance or novelty.

Old / Less Important Information New / More Important Information

(1) In this context, some of the agreements relating to particular types of armament...

...are significant achievements.

(2) Biological weapons... ...have been forsworn.

(3) Nuclear weapons... ...have been banned from outer space, the seabed and Antarctica.

(4) Within the UN, nations... ...have voted for the resolutions which envisaged the eventual elimination of all nuclear weapons.

The table above illustrates how this is done within a paragraph. Let’s analyse the consequences of this feature of the English language. (a) Firstly, you should build sentences which place the information which is obvious, known, or less

important at the beginning. (b) Then, you should place at the end of the sentence the information which is new or more important. (c) Any new information in the first sentence of a paragraph is potentially old in the following

sentences. (d) Applying this sequences consistently along a paragraph facilitates the identification of its topic

(usually introduced as new information in a previous paragraph). The paragraph used as an example is about weapon agreements. In sentences (1), (2), and (3) the topic of the paragraph (known, less important information) appears at the beginning and the comments about the topic

(new information) appear at the end. In sentence (4) the conclusion of those agreements (eventual elimination of ...) appears at the end of the sentence and the paragraph, thus appearing as the

potential topic in the following paragraph. (e) Any alteration of this sequence is interpreted by the readers as having a special meaning: what is

moved to the end is important or new in the context. In professional English there are three strategies that profit from altering the standard information sequence for focusing the information according to the needs of the context without interfering with the clarity and conciseness of the text. The first strategy is nominalisation. The second is passivisation. The third is the use of ergative verbs.

At the conclusion of this workshop you should be able to: Decide how to order information within sentences and paragraphs. Decide when to use nominalization instead of verbs. Decide whether the passive or the active voice are appropriate for your sentences. Use ergative verbs to change the focus of information in your sentences. Choose the vocabulary most appropriate for your readers. Avoid redundant expressions. Distribute information within letters Write business memoranda and e-mails



1.1. Nominalisation transforms a verb (process) into a noun (state) and a concrete activity becomes an abstract concept.

Process State

To transform A transformation

To integrate An integration

To differentiate A differentiation

Nominalised verbs can become the topics of sentences and paragraphs. They can be modified like

nouns (rapid invasion / mechanical finishing / production of safer products), and allow the elimination of

the agent (the person or object which carries out the action of the verb: The production has increased in the last quarter // We produced more in the last quarter).

Nevertheless, you should use nominalised verbs scarcely because:

Abstract subjects attract weak verbs (see 3.2);

The real subject becomes a subordinate detail (usually the object of a preposition);

The sentence structure may become unnecessarily elaborate and loses clarity.

General Nominalised version: Pesticides increase crop yields, but often cause damage to the environment

and sickness in people. More specific verbalised version: Since 1975, when malathion was introduced in India, 65 percent more corn

was produced, but birth defects increased fourfold.

1.2. Passivisation. Passive focuses on what happens and not on who or what makes it happen. Again the agent is removed from the information. The result of the process moves to the “Old / Less Important” position and the “New / More important” position is reserved to comments about the process. The following intransitive phrasal verbs are used frequently in the passive:

Accede to Deal with Jump on Pick on See to Account for Decide on Keep to Plan for Seize on Act on Despair of Laugh at Plan on Send for Adhere to Dictate to Lean on Play with Set on Aim at Dispense with Leap on Plot against Settle on Allow for Dispose of Light upon Point to Shoot at Allude to Enter into Listen to Pore over Skate over Approve of Frown upon Long for Pounce on Stamp on Ask for Fuss over Look after Preside over Stare at Aspire to Get at Look at Prevail on Subscribe to Attend to Get round Look into Prey on Talk about Bargain for Gloss over Look through Provide for Talk to Bite into Guess at Look to Put upon Tamper with Break into Hear of Meddle with Puzzle over Tinker with Budget for Hint at Minister to Reason with Touch on Build on Hope for Mourn for Refer to Trample on Call for Impose on Object to Rely on Trifle with Call on Improve on Operate on Remark on Wait on Care for Indulge in Pander to Resort to Watch over Cater for Inquire into Paper over Rush into Wonder at Count on Insist on Pay for See through Work on



With the passive you achieve a more impersonal style than with the active. The following information indicates when the use of the passive is preferred to the active. Read it and then do the corresponding exercises.

a) The passive is preferred when the process is more important than the agent.

The car (result of a process) was produced at our Spanish factory.

b) The passive is preferred when, for reasons of emphasis, we need to have the agent at the end of the sentence.

Penicillin was discovered by Fleming, not Prozac. (the emphasis is necessary to avoid confusion) c) The passive is preferred when the agent is new information in the context where the

sentence appears. (In English new information is placed at the end of sentences).

Who sent you that? It was sent to me by the president herself d) The passive is preferred when the subject / agent of a sentence is very long.

The president was distrusted by most of the radical and left-wing politicians in the country. e) The passive is preferred when the subject in sentence A needs to appear in sentence B

with the same function. The Prime Minister stepped off the plane. She was immediately surrounded by journalists.

f) The passive is preferred when the agent is unknown.

My laptop has been stolen. g) The passive is preferred when the agent is indefinite or unimportant.

In summary, major injuries are those which involve fracture of a major bone, amputation, loss of sight, electrical shock or any injury which results in the injured person being admitted into hospital

and being detained for more than 24 hours.

h) The passive is preferred when the situation requires impersonalisation. The results of the market research have been taken to the board for further consideration.

i) The passive is preferred when the situation requires avoidance of attribution or responsibility.

I’m afraid the fax hasn’t been sent. // The Production Manager was not informed in time.

1.3. Ergative verbs allow you to describe an action from the point of view of the agent or the affected by the action. The same verb can be used with the agent and the object or without mentioning the agent.

Examples: An explosion shook the room / The whole room shook

Industrial coolants have accelerated the ozone loss rate / The ozone loss rate has increased

Usually the object of these verbs refers to a thing.

In Business English we can identify three ergative groups that are used commonly:

(a) Verbs describing some kind of change

To age To continue To empty To rot To stop To begin To crack To end To shatter To stretch To bend To darken To fade To shrink To tear To bleach To decrease To finish To shut To thicken To break To diminish To grow To slow To tighten To burn To disperse To improve To split To weaken To burst To double To increase To spread To whiten To change To drown To open To start To widen To close To dry To quicken To stick To worsen1 1 Those verbs ending in “-en” deriving from adjectives are also part of this list (lengthen, whiten, strengthen, etc).



(b) Verbs describing physical movement

To accelerate To drop To rest To shake To stand To swing To balance To move To rock To spin To steady To turn (c) Verbs involving a vehicle

To back To drive To park To run To crash To fly To reverse To sail Ergative verbs allow a similar strategy as the passive because you can avoid mentioning who or what does the action.

Examples: The production manager has diminished the output in the assembly plant. (1)

The output has been diminished in the assembly plant. (2)

The output in the assembly plant has diminished this month. (3)

If you are not interested in reflecting who diminished the output you can transform the information in (1) into the information in (2). In the case you were interested in saying when that has happened you could transform it into (3). The computer game market has changed (4). In this example, the agent is not easily identifiable, therefore using an ergative verb is a concise way of supplying clear information. The important fact is that the “market has changed”. The agents of the change (probably a complex set of interrelated factors) can be explained in further detail in subsequent sentences of the same paragraph. 1.4. Transitive and Intransitive verbs used knowingly allow to present information as actions affecting non-personal nouns or as results. This is easily explained because transitive verbs always require a direct object (the affected), while intransitive verbs never require one. Transitive verbs can be used when we want to express an action that affects an object.

e.g. we raised our prices we favour the first option

Intransitive verbs cannot be used to express an action, only a result.

e.g. prices rose the first option prevailed

2. Strategies for increasing text clarity

2.1. Parallel Structure: Using the grammar to create symmetric structures helps in the achievement of clarity. Examples:

"Fees and HECS liability are payable by semester. If you enrol in a program and then withdraw, the

following refund policy applies: - Withdrawal from first semester course by 31 March: full refund. - Withdrawal from whole year course by 31 March: full refund. - Withdrawal from second semester course by 31 August: full refund. If you discontinue a course after these dates and before the end of lectures in each semester, then you will be liable to pay the fees/HECS for that semester."



"Several factors govern the choice of disposal method:

- The amount of original fluid. - The quality of the waste fluid. - The level (and type) of contamination. - The calorific value, if the mineral oil is to be used as a fuel. - The general type of fluid -i.e. mineral oil or synthetic fluid. - The local regulations and legislation.”

“Several factors govern the choices of disposal method:

- How much fluid will be disposed of. - Waste fluid quality. - The level (and type) of contamination. - When mineral oil is used as fuel, its calorific value. - The general type of fluid –i.e. mineral oil or synthetic fluid. - Local regulations and legislation.

"In this paper, the power dissipation limit of the TWPD is explored. A small-signal steady-state model is

developed that includes the effects of electrical propagation losses along the detector. Fabrication details are presented and experimental data show a 3 x 1250 mm2 detector with 4.8 GHz bandwidth."

"Engineering education should help the engineer to move from being mono-cultural to becoming multi-

cultural. Here are a few suggestions of how this can be achieved in the curricula of schools:

- More training in designing open systems taking both social and technical factors into account. - Actual skills training in solving complex socio-technical problems. - Social skills training, e.g. training in group work, communication and leadership

DIFFERENT GRAMMATICAL STRUCTURES FOR DIFFERENT IDEAS:

"The fee payment and visa process is as follows:

F An offer of admission is made to you. R You need then to pay one half of the annual fee for the first year.

F An Acceptance Advice Form will be issued to you. R You can then apply for a student visa at an Australian diplomatic post."

As you can see there are two different grammatical structures. The first one (A + Noun + Verb + to you) corresponds to a process affecting you. The second one (You + Verb + then + Verb + Complements) corresponds to the subsequent action that you should carry out. Notice that this paragraph is also an example of parallel structure.

Misuse of the parallel structure due to mixture of ideas:

"Therefore, one of the most effective ways to mitigate the destructive effects of earthquakes is to improve existing methods and develop better methods to design, construct, and maintain new earthquake-resistant structures and to repair and upgrade (retrofitting) existing seismically hazardous facilities."

Example of outline using the parallel

structure

The same outline without the parallel

structure



A correct use of the parallel structure would produce:

"Therefore, one of the most effective ways to mitigate the destructive effects of earthquakes is to improve existing methods and develop better methods of designing, constructing and maintaining new earthquake-resistant structures, and of repairing and upgrading (retrofitting) existing seismically hazardous facilities.”

2.2. Misplaced modifiers. Words or phrases that cause confusion because they are located within a sentence so far away from the word(s) to which they refer.

Some one-word modifiers often cause confusion:

almost just nearly only even hardly merely simply

Which of the following sentences indicates that everyone in the class failed the exam?

Almost everyone in the class passed the statistics exam. Everyone in the class almost passed the statistics exam.

A word or phrase that modifies another word or phrase that has not been stated clearly within the sentence creates confusion. They often occur at the beginnings and ends of sentences and are also often indicated by an -ing verb or a to + verb phrase

One night when I was sleeping in the jungle, I heard a noise and shot an elephant in my pyjamas.

One night when I was sleeping in my pyjamas in the jungle, I heard a noise and shot an elephant One night in the jungle when I was sleeping in my pyjamas, I heard a noise and shot an elephant

I saw the circus passing through my front window.

I saw through my front window the circus passing

2.3. Choice of Vocabulary according to the audiences. There are two typical sources of trouble regarding the choice of vocabulary: (a) you use a vocabulary that is too difficult for your audience and they don’t understand it; (b) you try to use sophisticated vocabulary that is beyond your active knowledge (read also 2.4).

In the first case (a) before writing any document you should identify your audience and find out about their knowledge on the matter and the English language. A practical approach is to restrict your vocabulary to the 2000 – 2500 most frequently used words in English2. You can find this list in many monolingual English dictionaries designed for non-native speakers. The list usually appears as “Defining Vocabulary”. Editors which include such lists in their dictionaries are: Longman, Cambridge University Press, Collins, and Oxford University Press.

For audiences with little knowledge on the topic of your document or low English level, you should include examples and short definitions of important concepts. Always avoid idioms, slang, and metaphorical expressions (specially if they require some cultural knowledge to interpret them). Excessive formality can also make your writing unclear (read 3.1).

2 The Internet offers several lists. http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/frequencylists/words2000.htm offers the 2000 most

frequent words in the Brown Corpus (but includes names and toponyms). Frequencies from 2001 to 5000 can be found at: http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/frequencylists/words2-5.htm . Looking at the academic context the 1000 most frequent families of words are at http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/wl-1k/ (total 4105 words) the second 1000 most frequent families are at http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/wl-2k/ (total 3711 words).

http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/frequencylists/words2000.htm

http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/frequencylists/words2-5.htm

http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/wl-1k/

http://www.edict.com.hk/lexiconindex/wl-2k/



Below you can read examples of confusing texts written by native speakers in insurance claim letters. The reason for the confusion is their use of vocabulary that they didn’t understand:

Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to live an immortal life. I am very annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was

married a week before he was born. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

2.4. False Friends / False Cognates. These are words appearing similar in form and meaning to Spanish words, but having a very different meaning. The following are typical examples:

False Friend Meaning Do not confuse with Translation

Actual Real, verdadero Current Actual, presente

Actually Realmente Currently Actualmente

Agenda Orden del día Appointment book Agenda

Argument Discusión, debate Reasoning Argumento

Articulate Bien formulado Articulated, jointed Articulado

Billion (US English) Mil millones Trillion En EE.UU. 1012

Career Carrera profesional University studies Carrera universitaria

Compass Brújula, alcance (pair of) compasses Compás

Comprehensive Detallado, exhaustivo Understanding Comprensivo

Concrete (n) Hormigón (sustantivo) Concrete (adj) Concreto (adjetivo)

Consistent Lógico, consecuente Firm, solid Consistente

Crude Bruto, sin refinar Raw Crudo

Currently Actualmente Commonly Corrientemente

Directions Instrucciones Ways, addresses Direcciones

Editor Jefe de redacción Publisher Editor

Engine Motor Talent, factory Ingenio

Eventually Finalmente Por un tiempo Eventualmente

Facilities Instalaciones Instalments Facilidades

Hazard Riesgo, peligro Chance, random Azar

To ignore No tener en cuenta To be unaware Ignorar

Lecture Conferencia, lección Reading Lectura

Pliable Flexible, maleable Folding, collapsible Plegable

Quarter Trimestre One fourth Un cuarto (1/4)

Résumé (US English) Curriculum Vitae Summary Resumen

To resume Reanudar To summarise Resumir

Surname Apellido Nickname Sobrenombre, mote

To terminate Poner fin (a un contrato), delimitar (una región)

To end Terminar, acabar

To traduce Calumniar Translate Traducir

Ultimate Definitivo, esencial Last, final, latter Último

Variance Desacuerdo Variation Variación

Spanish speakers should be careful with Spanish verbs ending in “-ificar”, “-icar”, “-iar”, “-isar”, “-itar”, and “-izar”. The endings for the Latinised versions of these verbs in English are normally “-ify”, “-pply”, “-ply”, “-ice”, “-ise”, and “-ize”. Examples:



Ampliar Amplify Modificar Modify Certificar Certify Aplicar Apply Clasificar Classify Implicar Imply Codificar Codify Improvisar Improvise Desclasificar Declassify Organizar Organise Electrificar Electrify Publicitar Publicize

3. Strategies for increasing text conciseness

3.1. Formality versus Conciseness: In English, the more formal you are the more indirect that your language becomes. Therefore there is a direct relationship between formality and wordiness.

General Guidelines on Formality and Informality. Formality increases when:

i) you use non-colloquial words and technical words (manufacture instead of make) informal version: Hey dude! Let’s get together in my joint formal version: Ms. Shaw, I suggest that we meet at my office ii) you avoid personal references in the text (read 1.1; 1.2 and 1.3) informal version: The manager published the results 4 months ago formal version: The results were published 4 months ago

iii) you use modal verbs (Could you please …? I would like to express …) informal version: It’s a good idea to start the meeting now formal version: It would be a good idea to start the meeting now

iv) you use a weak style (Make a reservation; hold a meeting; develop a study; etc…) informal version: We are considering a 3% raise for next year formal version: We have taken into consideration a 3% raise for next year v) you use questions to cause people to act informal version: Send me a brochure. / Remind me tomorrow via e-mail. / I want a job interview.

formal version: Could you please send me a brochure? / Would you remind me tomorrow via e-mail? / Would you consider the possibility of holding a job interview?

vi) you use words marked for politeness (please, thank, indeed, etc)

vii) you refer to people by using a title (Mr.; Ms.; Dr.; Prof., etc.)

Informality increases when: i) you use colloquial words instead of formal and technical words ii) you include personal references in your sentences (active voice and imperative) iii) you do not modify the interpretation of the verbs with modal auxiliaries

iv) you use a strong style (reserve; meet; study; etc…)

v) you use the imperative or statements to cause people to act (Close the window! Give me the money!)

vi) you forget to use words marked for politeness

vii) you refer to people by using their first name or a diminutive (John, Fiona, and Garth were present at ...)

viii) you use contracted words (it’s, I’m, I’d, don’t, didn’t, etc.)

3.2. Strong Style versus Weak Style: Weak style is the result of not expressing ideas with direct, straight-to-the-point expressions. It is always the less concise option when expressing an idea.

"Please make sure that a reservation has been made for a separate dining room, all the guests have been

given notification of the date and place of the meeting, and an adequate reference to the clients is made in the speech."



"Please make sure that a separate dining room has been reserved, all guests have been notified the

place and date, and the clients are adequately referred to in the speech.

"They have plans to develop a new design during the course of this year. At this point in time notification

must be given to all the departments involved. They should take into consideration this plan in order to achieve good international consideration."

"They plan to develop a new design during this year. Now all the departments involved must be

notified. They should consider this plan to achieve good international co-ordination."

3.3. Necessary and Unnecessary Redundancy: Sometimes to avoid the ambiguous use of synonyms it is necessary to repeat consistently the same concept throughout the text. Examples:

"The various analysis carried out support our conclusion. These tests contradict the results obtained in

previous trials, but our studies rely on improved state-of-the-art technology."

The four words in bold type, do they refer to the same topic? Our following example clears it up.

"The various analysis carried out support our conclusion. They contradict the results obtained in previous

analysis, but we relied for our work on improved state-of-the-art technology."

3.4. Redundant Expressions. When you use wordy and/or confusing language, you are being redundant and therefore you are writing an unnecessarily redundant and unclear text. Sometimes these expressions are used to impress the readers (the more difficult to read the more important the text is) and some others to hide an ugly reality (euphemisms). Politics and business are typical contexts where this language is wrongly used:

In politics:

Wordy / confusing expression Concise / clear equivalent

Air support Bombing

An efficient nuclear weapon that eliminates an enemy with a minimum degree of damage to friendly territory.

Neutron bomb

Energetic disassembly Explosion

Rapid oxidation Fire

Normal aberration at the reactor Reactor accident

There has been an infiltration There is plutonium contamination

Unlawful or arbitrary deprivation of life Killing

In business (euphenomics):

Wordy / confusing expression Concise / clear equivalent

The Bank of Japan is terminating its zero-interest-rate policy

The bank of Japan raised interest rates

Import surplus of the US US current-account deficit

Fast landing Hard landing

The inflation rate is no longer accelerating The inflation rate grows steadily

Stock market respite Stock market crash

Economically challenged country Bankrupt country

Cyclical downturns Recessions

Hopes of stronger profits Share prices raise

Fears of higher interest rates Share prices fall



Take a look at the following examples of wordiness and “puffed up” vocabulary. These examples are real and were selected as candidates to the “Golden Bull Awards” (British organisation that watches over the use of clear language in business and bureaucracy):

RSA Examinations Board for Levels 3 and 4 advice and guidance standards

These are guidelines for people taking a course in guidance. Unit 4 ('Develop and maintain interaction with

clients') suggests that 'tensions between resource constraints influencing ending and client requirements are managed'. (In other words, the client should know how long the interview will last.)

The guidelines add the need to be sure that 'interactions avoid disabling and exploitative behaviour and encourage clients' autonomy'. (Or to put it another way, 'Clients are treated with respect.')

Meanwhile, in unit 23 ('Work with the caller on the telephone'), the reader discovers that 'verbal gesturing provides reassurance to caller of continued presence and sense of safety which provides encouragement to express their feelings and wishes'. (In plain English, you should make sure the caller knows you are still on the line and they can talk openly to you.)

A legal opinion on a financial firm.

'If it is a breach of the rules not to reveal that there have been many breaches of the rules then presumably there must be a further breach of the rules not to reveal the breach of the rules in not revealing the mass breach of the rules, and so on. The concept of a duty with the capacity for infinite regression is most unattractive.' There are many wordy expressions that are typically used and whose substitution by shorter expressions is highly recommended. The following are among the most common examples:

WORDY PHRASE CONCISE PHRASE WORDY PHRASE CONCISE PHRASE a considerable amount

much in order to to

a majority of most in regard to regarding, about

a number of some, many in the event that if are of the same opinion

agree in view of the fact

that

because

at an early date soon it is often the case

that

often

at the conclusion of after, following it is our opinion that we think that

at the present time now it is our

understanding that

we understand

that

at this point in time now it is worth pointing out in this context that

note that

based on the fact

that

although make reference to refer to

due to the fact that because of the opinion that think that

during the course of during on the grounds that because

during the time that during, while prior to before first of all first relative to regarding, about

having capability to can so as to to

in connection with about, concerning subsequent to after in many cases often through the use of by



Redundant adjectives and adverbs frequently simply repeat the meaning of the word they modify. The following are examples of common expressions that must be avoided:

active consideration exact same join together radically new

alternative choice fewer in number local neighbourhood repeat again

armed gunman firmly commit mix together securely fastened

closely scrutinise following after new innovation shiny in appearance

complete stop foreign imports past experience sweet tasting

completely accurate fully recognise past history terrible disaster

component part grave emergency perfectly clear totally useless

consensus of opinion honest truth personal belongings truly significant

definite decision immediate vicinity present incumbent twelve noon

end result in order to qualified expert unfilled vacancy

utterly unique

3.5. Expressions Empty of Meaning. Some structures in English have only a grammatical meaning and their use is therefore redundant unless they are used for stylistic reasons. Normally these stylistic reasons are circumscribed into the area of literary creation. Business English writing is usually more clear and concise when it avoids these structures. In English you will find two such expressions: “There is / are” and “It”. The following examples illustrate how these expressions can be eliminated to improve sentence conciseness.

After all, it was subsidies that once nursed Japanese and, later, South Korean and Taiwanese chip

makers to global dominance.

After all, subsidies once nursed Japanese and, later, South Korean and Taiwanese chip makers …

It is possible that the price of a laser printer is higher than that of an ink jet printer. A laser printer may

cost more than an ink jet printer. There is a need for limitation of the number of users by the systems manager.

The systems manager must limit the number of users. There is a necessity for an agreement on the delivery terms by both parties.

Both parties must agree on the delivery terms.

Summary of Writing Strategies

Discourse structure which clarifies the text when writing for professional purposes

Balance between abstract and concrete points. General discussion is followed by accounts of real-life examples.

Concepts are presented through their evolution from beginning to end. Text is visually manageable. Paragraphs are not too long. Paragraphs should begin with a general thematic point, and later sentences develop it. The theme

of the following paragraph derives from that of the previous one. Sentences follow the same trend. New information at the end of one sentence is often picked up

as a given element at the beginning of the next sentence. Relations between sentences are made explicit by using connectors. Back cross-references are very frequent. It clarifies that a topic is still discussed and reduces

ambiguity.



Good Sentence structure in business texts

Shorter sentences are not necessarily more clear (too short might imply a high density of information). Mean of 25 words per sentence is a useful reference.

Sentences must have short subjects. The largest amount of information should be placed after the verb:

Incorrect: A net €62 million in extra provision loans against possible bad loans hit profit in the third quarter. Correct: Profit was hit in the third quarter by a net €62 million in extra provision loans against possible bad loans.

Points of contrast are clearly marked by comparison and contrast structures.

Example: The more accurately one measures the position, the shorter the wavelength of the light that one needs and hence the higher the energy of a single quantum.

Large nominal clusters are avoided when possible. They must be avoided for non-technical audiences. They are simplified by using non-technical modifiers.

Technical version: a laser surface-hardening treatment Lightning protective system High electron mobility transistor

Non-technical version: the surface was hardened with a laser treatment

System for protecting against lightning Transistor which allows unlimited mobility of electrons

Knowledge of certain information is not presupposed when the audience is not made up of experts. Familiar notions tend to precede new ones or contextual data is introduced before its consequences.

Example: The chairman of Santander Central Hispano SA, Emilio Botín, and the co-chairman of Banco Bilbao Vizcaya Argentaria SA, Francisco González, said they remain committed to their investments in Latin America, in spite of the economic downturn in the region..

The passive is used when it facilitates the flow of ideas or allows objects to receive prominence within clause structure. (See unit 9 for further detail and examples).

Maintain the same grammatical voice (active or passive) throughout the paragraph, unless the information focus requires the voice shift.

Two-voice version: A 3% increase in basic resources stock was fuelled by a rally in base metal prices. The base metals surged on Tuesday and Wednesday amid output cuts by major producers. One voice version: A rally in base metals prices fuelled a 3% increase in basic resources stock. The base metals surged on Tuesday and Wednesday amid output cuts by major producers.

Lexical density

Words with full lexical meaning should be in a relatively low proportion (around 50%)

The goal of written communication is to focus on your audience or produce reader-centred writing.



Information Structure of the Sales Promotion Letter

Financial Times Energy Maple House 149 Tottenham Court Road London W1P 9LL

4 July 2000

Mr Albert Fong 1 Sophia Road, 05-06 Peace Centre Singapore 0922

Dear Sir

Heading

European Natural Gas is an up-to-date analysis of the facts, figures and trends in one of the most exciting and dynamic markets in the international oil and gas industry.

In this increasingly competitive environment, the accuracy and breadth of coverage within the report – based on the expertise and experience within the FT Energy portfolio – provide a cutting edge for the companies, investors and governments looking to take advantage of the new opportunities in the European gas markets.

Establishing credentials

There is already widespread reporting on the subject of natural gas development in Europe, but the information is disparate and difficult to assess. European Natural Gas is the single comprehensive source of data and the essential guide for the numerous companies seeking to find a place to expand their roles in the European gas markets. The issues covered by the report include:

Natural gas demand and supply

Imports

Prices and taxes

Forecasts of production and consumption and contracted imports

Progress of market liberalisation

Environmental factors

Pipelines and storage

Introducing the offer Offering product / service

Essential detailing of the offer

Yearly subscriptions for institutions will get a 15% discount over the cover price.

Offering incentives

If you are serious about investing in or developing gas projects in Europe, you cannot afford to be without European Natural Gas.

Using pressure tactics

To order your copy of European Natural Gas, simply complete the order form on the back of the enclosed brochure and fax it to us on +44 (0) 207 896 2121. Alternatively, you can phone through your credit card order on +44 (0) 207 896 2241.

Soliciting response and Enclosing documents

I look forward to hearing from you Ending politely Yours sincerely

Roberto Chiarotti Publisher

Farewell and signature



A Sales Promotion Letter is an unsolicited mail addressed to persuade a potential customer to buy a particular product or service.

The standard is to begin the letters by identifying a need that the addressing company can fulfil through its experience and expertise. This is what we call Establishing Credentials.

Once the readers know what the company can do for them, some details about the promoted service are introduced. This section contains information about the product or service, the essential details of the offer and usually the value that the offer has for the readers. This section is what we called Introducing the Offer.

In order to make the offer more attractive the writer should Offer Incentives. The incentives are usually discounts, introductory offers, special offers, special rebates, etc.

Either to facilitate the orders or to include a more detailed information about the service, it is a common practice to enclose documents. This, obviously, is mentioned in some paragraph of the letter.

As a Sales Promotion Letter is seen as a means of establishing or strengthening business relations, it should encourage the readers to continue further communication. This is achieved in a paragraph that contains phone and fax numbers, web site addresses or e-mail addresses. This section is obviously called Soliciting Response.

The section called Using pressure tactics intends to convince half-inclined customers to take a quick decision about the product or service.

Commercial letters invariably end on a polite note, which is called Ending Politely.

0000♦0000

When writing letters or memos always:

Start with the most important point of the communication.

State your purpose and attach supporting evidence and data as separate documents, never as part of the main message.

Distribute information under headlines. This directs the reader to information that is most important.

Specify the action that you want the reader to take. Include the next steps that you will be taking next.

Structural Description of a Job Application Letter

From the point of view of the situation, Job Application Letters and Sales Promotion Letters are clearly different documents. Nevertheless from the point of view of communication they serve the same purpose.

In the case of Sales Promotion Letters products and services are offered, whereas the Job Application Letters promote an individual (and the services this person can provide in a particular post). The following table illustrates the information structure that such a document should have to fulfil the expectations of the potential employers.



Capita RAS Innovation Court, New Street, Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 7JB

I wish to make an application for the position as Economics Graduate for the Diplomatic Service.

Introducing candidature Offering Candidature

I have a Master’s Degree in Applied Economics from the University of Ottawa, Canada, where I studied under such distinguished scholars as Professors A.B. XXX and C.D. YYY. I also have a Bachelor’s Degree in Economics from the University of Exeter.

Establishing Credentials

I have taught Statistics Applied to Economics to undergraduates at the University of Ottawa. I also participated in the development of course materials for a business basic skills training programme aimed at young entrepreneurs in third world countries as part of a UN project co-ordinated by the University of Ottawa.

Essential detailing of candidature

I have published 3 research articles during the last two years all of which appeared in research journals.

Indicating value of candidature

My speciality is in the EU economy in relation with emerging markets in South America. I am also qualified to perform my duties in any task related with International Relations.

Offering incentives

I hope this letter of application will clarify some of the information on the enclosed C.V., which outlines my qualifications, experience and professional interests.

Enclosing Documents

I am required to give notice to the University of Toronto in early November and therefore look forward to hearing from you soon.

Using pressure tactics

Should you need to contact me for an interview I can be reached either at the following telephone number: (44) 666 55 55 55 or e-mail: [email protected].

Soliciting response

Thank you very much for your attention.

Ending politely

Sincerely yours,



Business Writing Exercises 1.1. Nominalisation:

We often use noun phrases instead of verbs to describe trends. For example.: Prices have risen considerably. There has been a considerable rise in prices.

Change the following sentences to include a noun phrase.

The market has expanded slightly. (There has been a slight expansion in the market)

Prices are going to fall dramatically. (There is going to be a dramatic fall in prices)

Our export sales collapsed suddenly. (There was a sudden collapse in export sales)

Sales are increasing steadily. (There is a steady increase in sales)

Salaries have dropped gradually. (There has been a gradual drop in salaries)

Profits will certainly rise significantly. (There will certainly be a significant rise in profits) Transform the following sentences so that you use verbs instead of nouns. Example: A slight increase occurs in the deposition rate. The deposition rate slightly increasesSimulation of the program is performed in this

study. (This study simulates the program)Not only is the variability of the control factors considered by the proposed procedure, but implementation of related tasks is performed by that same procedure. (In addition to considering the variability of the control factors, the proposed procedure implements related tasks)Normalization of operations is achieved by a simple calculation of the scores. (Simply calculating the scores normalizes operations)The operator made a reservation of the ticket for me. (The operator reserved the ticket for me)

The following sentences have hidden the action by nominalising the verbs. Transform them using verbs and making any other changes that you consider necessary.

a) From a letter on Housing Benefit If you would like consideration to be given to your application, please send me your last five wage slips. To consider your application, we need that you send your last five wage slips.

Please send your last five wage slips, so we can consider your application. I need that you send me your last five wage slips to consider your application.

We will consider your application if you send us your last five wage slips.

b) From an electricity company Your meter is operated by the utilisation of tokens. Use tokens to operate your meter

c) From a surveyor’s report We can solve the problem by the removal of the plaster to a height of one metre, the insertion of a new damp proof course and the introduction of suitable floor joists. We can solve the problem removing the plaster to a height of one metre, inserting a new damp proof course and introducing suitable floor joists.

If we remove the plaster to a height of one metre, then we insert a new damp proof course, and finally, we

introduce suitable floor joists, we can solve the problem.

d) From a gas company We have made an examination of your account and can tell you that application for budget payments at this late stage is still possible. We have examined your account and can tell you that, at this late stage, is still possible to apply for budget

payments

After examining your account, we can tell you that at this late stage is still possible to apply for budget payments.

e) From a council to a building company



To cause minimum disruption to teaching provision, it is imperative that the school roof renewal is carried out by your company concurrently with your completion of the Special Needs Unit. To avoid disturbing the teaching activities, your company must renew the school roof while you are completing

the Special Needs Unit. Your company must renew the school roof while you are completing the Special Needs Unit to avoid disturbing

the teaching activities.

1.2. Passive: Choice between active and passive: For each of the following sets of 3 sentences, you must decide whether option (a) or (b) provides better topic continuity with (1). Circle the correct option.

The GMAT Registrant Survey was designed to include at least two waves of data collection from a large random sample of test registrants.

a) The Survey designers limited the sample to registrants living in the USA. b) The sample was limited to registrants living in the USA.

It takes an average driver a fifth of a second to move her foot from accelerator to brake. a) At 50 kph that adds three meters to the braking distance. b) Three meters are added to the braking distance at 50 kph by that.

Simulation is an essential engineering tool used by both students and practitioners to gain knowledge of a system’s behaviour.

a) Simulation tools allow students to model a system. b) Students are allowed by simulation to model a system.

These sensors employ a sensing mass which is set into motion by the deceleration of the vehicle and the degree of displacement determines whether the sensor fires.

a) We can constrain the motion by the use of a bias force as is provided by a spring or magnet, or a damping force induced by a fluidic or magnetic effect.

b) The motion can be constrained by the use of a bias force as is provided by a spring or magnet, or a damping force induced by a fluidic or magnetic effect.

Transform the following sentences into the active:

a) Minimization of total operating costs is achieved by a planning horizon. A planning horizon minimizes total operating costs.

b) The manager can be assisted by the proposed model so that the order size can be precisely determined. The proposed model can assist the manager in precisely determining the order size.

1.3. Ergative, transitive and intransitive verbs:

Make these sentences transitive using the following verbs in their corresponding tenses: hold, reduce, raise, maintain…

Our salaries have remained constant for five years. The company (has maintained) salaries at the same level.

The temperature in the bank has fallen The caretaker (has reduced) the temperature in the building.

Interest rates have risen over the last three months. Banks (have raised) their interest rates.

Production has stayed the same for some time. The company (has held) production at the same level.



The average age has decreased in the company. Recruiting policy (has cut) the average age. Transform the following sentences containing ergative verbs as in the example.

Example: Rolls Royce announced that they are stopping production of the new V8 engine

because of technical problems.

Rolls Royce announced that some technical problems are stopping the production of the new V8 engine.

All work at the factory has stopped because of the strike. The strike has stopped all work at the factory. World War One weakened severely the European economies. European economies weakened severely during World War One. Some wines improve with age Age improves some wines Nuclear disarmament would simply increase the likelihood of a conventional war. The likelihood of a conventional war would simply increase with nuclear disarmament. A strike is planned for next week, so that might slow down our project strategy. Our project strategy might slow down because of a strike planned for next week 2.1. Parallel structure:

Transform the following sentences by using the parallel structure to make them more clear.

a) It is a fact that engineers select an appropriate variable and the transformed observations are treated as though they are normally distributed with a constant variance. It is a fact that engineers select an appropriate variable and treat the transformed observations as though they are normally distributed with a constant variance. b) Those methods neither require previous knowledge of how the variables are distributed nor are the censored data stipulated to be available. Those methods neither require previous knowledge of how the variables are distributed nor stipulate availability of the censored data. c) The Taguchi approach provides a combination of experimental design techniques with quality loss considerations and that the average quadratic loss is minimized. The Taguchi approach combines experimental design techniques with quality loss considerations and minimizes the average quadratic loss. d) The conventional approach happens to be cumbersome, complicated and wastes too much time. The conventional approach happens to be cumbersome, complicated and time consuming. e) Conventional approaches offer an explanation of this phenomenon and providing alternative strategies to solve the problem. Conventional approaches explain this phenomenon and provide alternative strategies to solve the problem.

2.2. Misplaced modifiers: Which sentence indicates that John earned some money?

John nearly earned $100. John earned nearly $100. These sentences have prepositional or participial problems. Fix each one by moving something around or by making small changes.

a. We rented a cottage for a family of four with a fireplace. We rented a cottage with a fireplace for a family of four

b. Mr. Johnson advertised for persons to deliver groceries that have cars.



Mr. Johnson advertised for persons, who have cars, to deliver groceries

c. The man tipped his hat while passing us with his right hand. The man tipped his hat with his right hand while passing us

d. The fruit had been carefully wrapped in paper that we ate. The fruit that we ate had been carefully wrapped in paper

e. It is said that Lincoln wrote his most famous speech while he was riding to Gettysburg on a scrap of brown paper.

It is said that Lincoln wrote his most famous speech on a scrap of brown paper while he was riding to Gettysburg

f. A baby grand piano was requested by a woman with three legs. A woman requested a baby grand piano with three legs

g. I saw an automobile walking down the street. Walking down the street I saw an automobile

h. A horse was purchased by a red-haired man weighing about 1300 pounds. A red-haired man purchased a horse weighing about 1300 pounds

i. We noticed the plane standing in the cafeteria. Standing in the cafeteria, we noticed the plane.

j. Coming up the harbour, the Statue of Liberty greets the immigrants to America. The statue of Liberty greets the immigrants to America who come up the harbour.

k. Lincoln’s famous words were read by the tourists inscribed on the pedestal of his monument. The tourists read Lincoln’s famous words inscribed on the pedestal of his monument

l. I saw you shovelling snow through my window. I saw you through my window shovelling snow. 2.3. Choice of vocabulary: Choose the correct verb from each pair provided to complete the gaps The results from experiment A and B are __________ related / relationed Adding lime to the mixture ________ its PH in the cement kiln. acidificates / acidifies We are trying to ________ the cold fusion experiment replicate / reply AENOR __________ those appliances which meet the regulations. certifies / certificates This robot can _________ spare parts according to shapes. classificate / classify The managing director was __________ in a fraud scandal. implicated / implied I would like you to ________ in the next two weeks. replicate / reply The results __________ that the whole structure suffers from severe material fatigue. implicate / imply The Toronto office will ________ the contract meeting for next week.



organisate / organise Among your tasks you will have to _______ the works and make sure the specifications are met. supervise / supervisate Give me two more hours I'm trying to ________ these figures. verificate / verify We have ___________ the manufacturing process and we can increased the output 20%. simplify / simplificate To _________ further the situation, the order has not arrived yet. complicate / comply The purpose of the scheme is to ____________ the production in 5 years triplify / triplicate Our company intends to ________ a greener range of appliances. fabricate / fabrify After the rectifications, the model finally ________ with the technical requirements. complicates / complies 2.4. False Friends:

Choose the best translation for the underlined words.

1) Acusar recibo

(Accuse / Acknowledge / Charge / Endorse)

2) Esa cantidad no es suficiente para acabar el proyecto

(quantity / amount / number / sum) (enough / sufficient / satisfactory / lavish)

3) Se espera que los precios de los bienes y servicios se estabilicen

(merchandise / utilities / commodities / wares)

Translate into correct English the expressions underlined in the following sentences:

4) No pude asistir a la reunión con el gerente de producto

(attend)

5) ¿Cuál es su dirección actual?

(current) 6) Los maletines de los investigadores serán registrados a la salida por el personal de seguridad.

(searched) (personnel) 7) Voy a matricularme en un curso de comercio electrónico

(inscribe)

8) Planean invertir 40 millones en nuevas instalaciones

(invest) (facilities)

Choose the best option to fill each gap.

9) The (...) privatised so far have been the electric grid, the railroads, and the

telecommunications



a) enterprises b) businesses c) utilities d) services

10) We expect an (...) of more than 300 engineers to your conference.

a) assistance b) aid c) appearance d) attendance

11) What are you working with? It's the most (...) smell I've ever had to experience.

a) displeasing b) disgusting c) despicable d) infamous

12) She has got the (...) of making complex problems seem very simple.

a) faculty b) ability c) competence d) proficiency

1) Complete the following blanks with the most suitable option.

The company is headed by the Board of Directors

a) guided b) headed c) capitalised d) infatuated

We have divided our department into 3 sections

a) spheres b) parties c) sections d) classes

I have been in charge of this Department for the last 3 years

a) charge b) control c) good terms d) contract

We carry out all the research work for the Ministry of Agriculture

a) do b) realise c) carry out d) perform

In this position you would be responsible for developing the security program

a) now b) so c) in this position d) then

This chart shows the internal organisation of our company

a) teaches b) learns c) views d) shows

The parent company is based in Torquay

a) is based b) bases c) locates d) is carried

The R&D Department constitutes the most demanded one among our staff

a) takes b) establishes c) offers d) constitutes

My department takes care of the security system

a) takes care b) bears c) concerns d) charges

The project manager is assisted by a group of experts

a) attended b) protected c) cared d) assisted

3.1. Formality versus Conciseness:



Rewrite the following sentences in a more formal style. The words in brackets will help you. a) Please get to work on time! (Employees - request - arrive - punctually) (Employees are requested to arrive to work punctually) b) Would you tell the other consultants about this please? (Inform - accordingly) (inform the other consultants accordingly) c) We need more research on this. (require - subject) (further research on the subject is required) d) I’d like to know what you think about it. (appreciate - comments) (your comments will be appreciated) (any comments will be appreciated) e) The place was a real mess. (premises - complete state of disorder) (the premises were in a complete state of disorder) f) I have received a letter from you where you ask me for a date to get a job interview.

In your letter of the ... you consider the possibility of arranging for a job interview appointment. Your letter suggests that we arrange for a job interview appointment.

g) Send us the necessary information to go on with the idea? Would you please send us the necessary information to continue with the project?

h) We have to get together for a chat at my joint one of these days. We should have a meeting next week (Monday at seven, etc.) at my office to discuss the problem.

The discussion of this problem requires a meeting at my office next week.

3.2. Strong Style versus Weak Style: Identify in the following sentences the expressions written in weak style and rewrite them in the box provided using the strong style (Conciseness): The time for watching and waiting is over. Tomorrow's U.S. stock market millionaires are taking action NOW! Solution: acting No one had an objection to your proposal. Solution: objected Our company did not have then the knowledge of the side effects of this product. Solution: know This flow diagram serves to explain the stages of the process. Solution: explains Our company does not make distinctions among customers. Solution: distinguish The damper is used to limit the refresh rate of the LED screen. Solution: limits I would like to make a proposal of a new model of toaster for our product range. Solution: propose The committee will conduct an investigation of the use of the EU funds. Solution: investigate Can we carry out the inspection before the end of the month?



Solution: inspect The inspector reached the conclusion that it was an unavoidable accident. Solution: concluded

We need to reach an agreement with the trade unions soon or our share value will drop. Solution: agree

I would prefer that you first do a draft of the facilities and then we can decide. Solution: draft

Our client holds the opinion that the contract terms were not respected. Solution: believes // thinks (esta última no tan buena por estilo)

The project supervisor has given us 2 weeks to furnish a solution for the design defects. Solution: solve

After the repairs, we effectuated a system start-up. Solution: started up the system

The latest changes in the methodology have exhibited improvements in the whole project Solution: improved

3.3. Redundancy (necessary / unnecessary): Combine each sentence group into one concise sentence. a. Their car is gassed up. It is ready for the long drive. The drive will take all night.

Their car is gassed up and ready for a long all-night drive. b. Government leaders like to mention the creation of new jobs. They claim that these new jobs indicate a strong economy. They don't mention that low-wage jobs without benefits and security have replaced many good jobs.

Government leaders claim that the creation of new jobs indicates a strong economy, but they don’t mention that many of these are low-wage, non-benefit and security less jobs.

3.4. Redundant Expressions:

Which of the following sentences are wordy?

a. There are too many workers arriving late to work everyday

b. The building has a height of 934 feet.

c. The author gives examples of different applications.

d. The validity of such statements should not be adhered to.

e. It was on December 7, 2001, that the patent was granted.

f. It is used for dampening the display frequencies.

g. Many people travelling frequently by plane may experience some delays, caused by new airport security

measures.

h. Recently there have been many opportunities for consumers to make purchases that are good values.

The verb phrases in column “A” are wordy. Use column “B” to provide one-word equivalents. The first two have been done as an example.

A B Effect a reduction in reduce



Accomplish a modification of modify

Put emphasis on Emphasise / emphasize

Come to the conclusion that Conclude

Provide with information Inform / notify

Increase by a factor of two Double / duplicate

Give an explanation of Explain

Have a deleterious effect upon Damage / harm

Create an improvement in Improve

Do an analysis of Analyse / analyze

Make a recommendation that Recommend

Conduct an investigation of Investigate / research

Conciseness: rewrite the following paragraph eliminating or transforming those expressions which are redundant into more concise.

This is to inform you that we are taking into active consideration your application for

the unfilled vacancy of Research Assistant. There are alternative choices closely been

scrutinised. In order to reach a consensus of opinion among the department

members, we will do an analysis of the past experience of all the candidates. We wish

to accomplish a modification of the research strategies in our department, therefore

it is crucial that the selected candidate has a sufficient quantity of published articles

in relevant journals. Unfortunately, those candidates who lack this requirement will

be left out of consideration. At an early date, we will communicate the end result of

our selection process. We will provide with information about the reasons for

application refusals.

This is to inform you that we are considering your application for the vacancy of Research Assistant. We are

scrutinising the alternatives. To reach a consensus among the department members, we will analyse the

experience of all the candidates. We wish to modify the research strategies in our department, therefore it

is crucial that the selected candidate has enough published articles in relevant journals. Unfortunately, those

candidates who lack this requirement will be disregarded. Soon, we will communicate the result of our

selection process. We will inform about the reasons for application refusals. Rewrite the following sentences avoiding redundancy or needless formality: a) Three-quarters of those surveyed answered in the affirmative. 75% of the survey answers were affirmative

b) Please find enclosed the decoder ring you ordered. We enclose your decoder ring order c) We should formulate an alternative plan in the event that the stockholders vote the president out. If the stockholders vote the president out, we should arrange an alternative plan d) Good systems programmers are in short supply.

We lack good systems programmers e) In view of the fact that solar energy is not yet fully developed at the present time, we will have to

continue utilising fossil fuels well into the next century. Since solar energy is not yet fully developed currently, we will have to ... using .... f) The tests were conducted in conjunction with the employees' routine checkups. The tests and the employees’ routine checkups were conducted together g)The report recommended a substantial reduction in the remuneration received by the vice-presidents. The report recommends a salary cut for the vice presidents h) It has been brought to my attention that the employees' cafeteria needs to be painted.

The employees’ cafeteria needs to be painted i) The voltage at the amplifier output is limited by means of a negative-feedback circuit. The voltage at the amplifier output is limited by a negative-feedback circuit j) In the majority of instances, component failure was caused by cigarette smoke.



Component failure was mainly caused by cigarette smoke k)Aluminium is used for transmission lines in order to reduce weight and corrosion.

Aluminium is used for transmission lines to reduce weight and corrosion l) The new project is designed to institute improvements in the taste of cat food. The new project is designed to improve the taste of cat food. m) Prior to the time when the chairman of the board submitted his resignation, stockholders were of the opinion that it was time for a change. Before the chairman of the board submitted his resignation, stockholders thought that it was time for a change

n) In the event that the photo lab cannot accommodate the increased work load, it is within the realm of possibility that their facility will be enlarged. If the photo lab cannot accommodate the increased work load, it is possible that their facility will be enlarged ñ) Please call me at your earliest convenience. Please call me as soon as possible // Please call me soon o) The number of stars in our galaxy is of the order of magnitude of a hundred million.

The number of stars in our galaxy is approximately a hundred million

p) The two results are found to be in agreement. The two results agree q) The chemicals exhibit a tendency to accumulate in the liver. The chemicals tend to accumulate in the liver r) This is to acknowledge receipt of your order for a new model 505 copier.

We have received your order for a new model 505 copier s) It has been shown by Smith and Brown that high-speed neutrons retard the spoilage of guacamole. Smith & Brown demonstrated that high-speed neutrons retard the spoilage of ... t) Building a microcomputer involves the necessity of packing thousands of components on microscopic chips of silicon. Building a microcomputer requires packing thousands of components on microscopic silicon chips. u) The team decided to perform an analysis of the car's wind resistance for the purpose of reducing

aerodynamic drag. The team decided to perform a car’s wind resistance analysis to reduce aerodynamic drag.

3.5. Expressions Empty of meaning: Transform the following sentences so you eliminate

empty expressions. It is necessary that negotiations on the final conditions be undertaken by both sides immediately. Both sides must negotiate the final conditions immediatelyIt is critical that consideration is made by the systems manager on the current status of the programThe systems manager must consider the program's current statusThere are profit margins at their highest point since the early 1970s, but they are only half of those of American competitors. Profit margins are at their highest point since the 1970s, but … There are smokestack industries restructuring as never before. Smokestack industries are restructuring as never before. There was an attempt to reconcile the positions of both parties. Both parties attempted to reconcile their positions. It is important that cooperation with each other be the focus of the study group. The study group must focus on cooperating with each other // The study group must cooperate with each other.) It could happen that a decision to cancel the exhibition is reached by the committee. The committee may decide to cancel the exhibitionThen it will appear a dialog with the programs in execution.Then a dialog with the programs in execution will appear. The company has cash problems and it must be reduced running costs by at least £ 43,575. The company has cash problems and running costs must be reduced by at least £ 43,575.

Paragraph structure: The following paragraphs are a good example of the typical distribution of information in English. Identify what is the topic of each paragraph. Explain how did you identify the topic. And for each sentence indicate how the “old/unimportant information first – new/important information at the end” scheme is reflected.



Paragraph 1

1 Shortly after Jürgen Dormann took over at Hoechst in 1994, he made a big decision.

2 With 16 different businesses to its name, ranging from photocopiers and cosmetics to dyes and drugs, the German chemicals group was far too diversified.

3 Its future, he figured, lay in pharmaceuticals, which at that time accounted for only a fifth of its turnover.

Paragraph 2

4 In 1997, a restructuring plan involving the spin-off of several divisions was put before analysts, who lapped it up.

5 But then things started going wrong.

6 Egged on by politicians, Hoechst’s unions went on the offensive.

7 As the overhaul was taking shape, but before anyone had been fired, a group of 8,000 angry demonstrators marched on the company’s headquarters to protest against the dismantling of a great industrial name.

8 Mr. Dormann held firm, but the share price wobbled, reflecting investors’ belief that he would have trouble implementing the plan.

Topic of paragraph 1: Mr. Dormann’s decision for Hoechst. In the first sentence the important information position is held by “a big decision”. The last sentence indicates that the decision is limiting the activities to pharmaceuticals. The important information position in the last sentence is held by the reason why he took the decision. Topic of paragraph 2: What happened to Mr. Dormann’s restructuring plan. The information at the beginning of the first sentence in a second paragraph is normally the topic of the paragraph. The final position of the last sentence indicates what investors believe about the plan.

Sentence 1: “Jürgen Dormann made a big decision shortly after he took over Hoechst in 1994.” This could have been the starting sentence for this paragraph, but then the most important information would have been “when” Mr. Dormann became the manager of Hoechst. In fact it would have been a more standard sentence. The writer wants to lay emphasis on “a big decision”. Sentence 2: In the second sentence “its” and “the German chemicals group” refer to “Hoechst” (old information). The final position is reserved for what triggered the decision (over-diversification). Sentence 3: Right before the final position, the decision is presented and the final position is used up by why the decision was made. Sentence 4: The beginning introduces the topic (restructuring plan) and the end its approval. Sentence 5: “things” refers to the “restructuring plan” and “going wrong” is new info about it. Sentence 6: What the unions did is more important than who caused it. Sentence 7: This sentence presents the cause as more important than the result. Sentence 8: What happens to the plan is the whole purpose of the paragraph, so the important information is once again the plan.