BUSINESS COMMUNICATIONBUSINESS COMMUNICATION

REVISING BUSINESS REVISING BUSINESS MESSAGESMESSAGES

ByBy Mustafa Mustafa MBA EXE HIMSMBA EXE HIMS

ObjectivesObjectives Why Revision and Proof Reading Required.Why Revision and Proof Reading Required. Revision Techniques.Revision Techniques.

Clarity, Conciseness, Vigor and Directness.Clarity, Conciseness, Vigor and Directness. Proof Reading.Proof Reading. Proof Reading Normal & Complex Proof Reading Normal & Complex

Documents.Documents. Fog Index.Fog Index.

Why should we Revise and Proofread Why should we Revise and Proofread our documents?our documents?

Unfortunately,

your essay

earned a C even

though you are

capable of A

work.

I can’t Understand your message, it

has many confusing words.

I have to use Dictionary

I had a lot of trouble reading your essay. You

make good points, but your writing

has too many sloppy errors.

Sorry! I know I should have proofread my work

before I handed it in. To be honest, I waited until the last minute. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice my

mistakes.

Your reader may focus on your Your reader may focus on your mistakes and may ignore your mistakes and may ignore your

overall point. overall point.

Fragment

Pronoun Case

Article

Parallel Structure

Wrong Verb

Spelling Errors

Capitalization Error

Missing Word

Look at the word “revision” again. Look at the word “revision” again. What do you see? What do you see?

R E R E - V I S I O N - V I S I O N Time to “look again” at your Time to “look again” at your

piece of writing.piece of writing.

Imagine it with fresh Imagine it with fresh eyes!eyes!

Here are some helpful things to keep Here are some helpful things to keep in mind about revisionin mind about revision

Two ways of looking Two ways of looking Globally

The Big Picture

LocallyThe Little Picture

GloballyGloballyThe Big PictureThe Big Picture

Overall effect of the piece?Overall effect of the piece? How it is organized and How it is organized and

structured? Proper Headings, structured? Proper Headings, Index, TOC, Bibliography, Index, TOC, Bibliography, Appendix etc.Appendix etc.

Where is the reader captured?Where is the reader captured? If Formal writing which Style is If Formal writing which Style is

followed followed ((APA,CHICAGO,MLA)APA,CHICAGO,MLA)

LocallyLocallyThe Little PictureThe Little Picture

Does any sentences create clarity or confusion?

Are there sentences that can be combined?

Are there sentences that can be shortened?

How are specific transitions serving the main idea?

ClarityClarity“ “ Getting the meaning from your head Getting the meaning from your head accurately to the reader’s is the purpose accurately to the reader’s is the purpose

of CLARITY “of CLARITY “

To Achieve ClarityTo Achieve Clarity Use Precise and familiar words.Use Precise and familiar words. Avoid foggy and indirect language.Avoid foggy and indirect language. Use Active Voice.Use Active Voice. Keep it Short and Simple (KISS).Keep it Short and Simple (KISS).

Clarity ……Clarity ……

ExampleExampleFaulty: Faulty: It was decided that company policy be It was decided that company policy be

changed to allow employee selection of changed to allow employee selection of personal leave days. personal leave days.

Better: Better: Company decided to change policy and Company decided to change policy and allow employees to select their own leave allow employees to select their own leave days. days.

ConversationalConversational Use first person pronoun.Use first person pronoun. Avoid Legal terminology, Technical words.Avoid Legal terminology, Technical words. Use familiar words.Use familiar words.ExampleExampleFaulty:Faulty: After our perusal of pertinent data the After our perusal of pertinent data the

conclusion is that lucrative market exists for conclusion is that lucrative market exists for subject property.subject property.

Better:Better: The data we studied show that your The data we studied show that your property is profitable and in high demand.property is profitable and in high demand.

ConcisenessConciseness Say what you want to say nothing else.Say what you want to say nothing else. Keep your sentence trim and compact Keep your sentence trim and compact

without effecting clarity.without effecting clarity.

Guidelines to followGuidelines to follow1)1) Remove opening fillers.Remove opening fillers.2)2) Reduce compound Prepositions.Reduce compound Prepositions.3)3) Eliminate Redundancies.Eliminate Redundancies.4)4) Purging Empty words.Purging Empty words.

Examples:Examples:Faulty:Faulty: There are three things I want you to do.There are three things I want you to do.Better:Better: I want you to do three things.I want you to do three things.

Common Redundancies: Common Redundancies: ""Personal OpinionPersonal Opinion," “," “New InnovationNew Innovation" " ““Basic Fundamentals”Basic Fundamentals”

Compound Prepositions:Compound Prepositions:Due to the fact Due to the fact == BECAUSE== BECAUSEAt this point in timeAt this point in time == NOW== NOW

Vigor and DirectnessVigor and Directness Remove Dullness and common business language.Remove Dullness and common business language. Be Vigor (Energetic) by using improved versions. Be Vigor (Energetic) by using improved versions.

Trite PhraseTrite Phrase Improved VersionImproved VersionAs per your requestAs per your request As you request.As you request.Enclosed please findEnclosed please find Enclosed isEnclosed isWith Reference toWith Reference to AboutAbout

What to Proof ReadWhat to Proof Read SpellingSpelling GrammarGrammar PunctuationPunctuation Name and NumbersName and Numbers FormatFormat Graphics and IllustrationsGraphics and Illustrations

Proofread with an open mind.Proofread with an open mind. Be willing to make changes.Be willing to make changes. Be willing to put in the time and effort.Be willing to put in the time and effort. Leave yourself ample time to examine Leave yourself ample time to examine

your writing.your writing. Keep your reader in mind at all times.Keep your reader in mind at all times.

How to ProofreadHow to Proofread1. Short Documents can be reviewed

after certain interval (On same day).2. Long and Complex documents should

be reviewed after 24 hours.3. Use Standard Proofreading marks.4. Read Every sentence loudly.5. Reduce Reading Speed.6. Spell names, difficult words, notes,

capitalization and punctuation.

How to Proofread….How to Proofread….7. Use printed copy (“Things look

different on papers”).8. Use double line space.9. Use scale to read line by line on

printed copy.10. Scroll line by line at a time on

computer.11. Use Software for Proofreading like

MSWORD.

Proof Reading MarksProof Reading Marks

FOG INDEX FOG INDEX (By Robert Gunning)(By Robert Gunning)

To check your own clarity in writing:To check your own clarity in writing: 1.1.Count how many words you use in an average Count how many words you use in an average

sentence....sentence....

2.2.To do that, check any 100 words you have To do that, check any 100 words you have written, in a report or letter....written, in a report or letter....

3.3.Divide that 100 by the number of sentences Divide that 100 by the number of sentences used....used....

4.4.Then count how many "complex" words you Then count how many "complex" words you have used for every 100 words you have written (a have used for every 100 words you have written (a "complex" word is one with three syllables or more "complex" word is one with three syllables or more - not counting words with capital letters)....- not counting words with capital letters)....

Fog Index …..Fog Index ….. 5.5.Add the two totals together, and then take Add the two totals together, and then take

four tenths of the total. That is your Fog four tenths of the total. That is your Fog Index........Index........

Average Words /SentenceAverage Words /Sentence = 20= 20Complex WordsComplex Words = 10= 10TotalTotal 30 30Fog Index Fog Index (30 x 0.40) 12 (30 x 0.40) 12

Fog Index Between 8 - 12 considered as Good.Fog Index Between 8 - 12 considered as Good.So its time to Check your index…….So its time to Check your index…….

ConclusionConclusion Why Documents need Revision?Why Documents need Revision? Consideration in Revision.( Clarity, Consideration in Revision.( Clarity,

Conciseness, Vigor and Directness)Conciseness, Vigor and Directness) Proof Reading.Proof Reading. How and When Proof Reading is done?How and When Proof Reading is done? Measure your writing through FOG INDEX.Measure your writing through FOG INDEX. Highlighting pictures, graphs and illustrations.Highlighting pictures, graphs and illustrations.

Thanks & Good ByeThanks & Good Bye