Bullying, What is it?

Bullying is a problem that occurs in all countries around the world. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), high

proportions of Canadian students who reported involvement in bullying confirms that this form of behaviour is an important social

problem in our country.

BULLYING OCCURS WHEN THERE IS

AN IMBALANCE OF POWER, ONE

THAT IS NOT ALWAYS BASED ON SIZE

OR STRENGHTH

What is the difference between Bullying and Conflict?

• Conflict is a disagreement or a difference of opinion or interests between equals. The people involved in a conflict may disagree vehemently and emotions may run high. When conflict is badly managed, it may result in aggression.

• In a conflict, both parties have power to influence the situation.

Bullying is physical, verbal or written abuse or social

exclusion and has the characteristics of an

imbalance of power, intention to harm, feelings of

distress on the part of the victim, repeated incidents

of Bullying over a certain time period.

BULLYING

TYPES OF BULLYING

VERBAL

RELATIONAL

PHYSICAL

CYBER

Verbal bullying occurs when someone uses

language to gain power over his or her peers. The

verbal bully makes use of relentless insults and

teasing to bully peers.

Relational bullying occurs when an individual is left out of events or games, deliberately ignored and excluded and has

rumours spread about them and is made to feel like an outsider.

Physical bullying occurs when a person uses overt bodily acts to gain power over peers. Physical bullying can include kicking,

punching, hitting or other physical attacks.

tweenparenting.about.com

Cyber-Bullying is Bullying that takes place online, in the virtual world, or via computers, cell phones or other technological

devices, and, therefore has the unique characteristics that the bully can remain anonymous, can pretend to be someone else.

The Bullying can occur anywhere at any time, words and images can be distributed instantly to a wide audience, and a bully may

say things online that they would never say face to face.

Warning Signs

Children and youth who are being victimized by a bully, or who have become a bully themselves, will often display changes in their behaviour.

It’s important that you as a parent know the warning signs, and pay attention to any signs that your child

may be exhibiting.

It doesn’t necessarily mean they are involved in bullying, but it may indicate the need to start a conversation and check in with your child.

Signs that your child is being bullied

Children and youth who are being bullied by others will often display a change in

behaviour or emotions, like:

• Not wanting to go to school or participate in extra-curricular activities • Anxious, fearful or over-reactive behaviour • Shows low self-esteem and makes negative comments about him/herself or a

former friend • Regular complaints of stomach aches, headaches, and other physical symptoms

without any particular cause • Lower interest and performance in school (i.e. drop in grades, development of

learning issues) • Injuries, bruising, damaged clothing or broken items • Unhappy and irritable • Trouble sleeping, nightmares, bedwetting • Frequent crying • Threatens to hurt him/herself or others • Significant changes in social life (i.e. no one is calling or inviting him/her out)

Signs that your child is a bully Children and youth who bully may show signs that they are using power

aggressively, such as:

• Little concern for the feelings of others • Aggressive with siblings, parents, teachers, friends and animals • Bossy and manipulative to get his/her own way • Coming home with unexplained objects or extra money • Secretive about possessions, activities or where they have been • Easily frustrated and quickly angered • Believe aggression is an acceptable way to resolve conflicts • Abuse others physically or verbally • Get into fights and blame others for starting them • Have a need to dominate others • Have two or three friends who are also aggressive • Hang out with increasingly younger children • Quick to interpret accidents or neutral events as deliberate hostile acts

What can I do to help?

What can parents do?

Bullying can be a tough topic to bring up with your kids, but it’s an important conversation to have if they are showing signs of being a victim or a bully.

Bullying and aggression is often a cry for help. It’s important to be open to the possibility that

your child could be in one of these roles. The most important thing you can do as a parent is to listen and not dismiss your child when they want to talk – they may only try once.

What parents can do to help

• Addressing the signs of bullying before the behaviour gets worse is the key to creating a safe school and making our children feel safe. Parents play a pivotal role in teaching their children how to be caring, deal with angry feelings, and stand up for themselves without being aggressive.

• Parents also need to model the behaviour they are teaching – creating a safe and caring home is equally important.

• If your child does not want to open up to you, encourage them to find someone they trust, or help them find a safe way to report the bullying.

If your child is being bullied

• Choose an appropriate time to ask your child about suspected bullying. What about during your drive home from school? Or during an after-dinner walk? Creating a space where your child doesn’t have to look you in the eye might help them open up to you.

• Let your child do the talking. • Listen and don’t judge your child. Encourage him/her to describe

the bullying in as much detail as they can, and document what they are telling you

• Use open-ended questions, to encourage your child to talk about his/her day or share what is going on at school. For example: "what did you like the most about your day?" or "what was the most frustrating part of your day?"

If your child is being bullied

• Make sure your child knows that its okay for them to feel the way they do.

• Paraphrase what you heard about your child’s feelings and thoughts. This will help your child feel understood, and he/she will likely be more open to your help.

• Don’t start a conversation if you don’t have time for it, or know you’ll be interrupted.

• Brainstorm ways for your child to deal with the bullying. Encourage your child to walk away from the bully or ignore him/her.

• Encourage your child to report the bullying. If it happened in a school, encourage them to talk to an adult at school or to make an anonymous tip via the on-line reporting tool

If your child is a bully

• You should make it very clear that the bullying behaviour must stop immediately.

• Ask your child about his/her friends, and what they do together. • Find out if there is something happening at school or at home that

is causing them to act out. • Ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes

or no. • Paraphrase back what you hear them say and have them take

ownership over their actions. • Set consequences for his/her actions, and establish positive ways

that he/she can earn those privileges back. • Listen carefully and ask your child questions regarding the situation.

Try to find out the reasons and possible motivation for the bullying behaviour

If your child is a bully

• Your child may be bullying for a number of reasons, and it’s important to identify why so you can find the most appropriate solution. Here are some reasons why your child may be bullying others:

• Parents have separated, divorced or remarried. • Trouble adjusting to new family situations, like a new sibling or significant

family changes, new community, death of a family member or pet. • Parents may be working long hours and the child is spending more time

alone. • Influence from violent TV shows, movies, video games or music. • May gain popularity from their aggressive behaviour. • May be mimicking violent or aggressive behaviour that they regularly

witness. • May not have the skills to empathize with others. • Lacking confidence or being picked on or bullied by others.

Long Term Bullies

• A study has shown that 60% of boys who were nominated as bullies in Grades 6 to 9 had at least one court conviction by age 24.

• 35 to 40% had three or more convictions by age 24, compared to 10% for the control group of non-bullying boys.

• Canada and Family Website

Research shows that bullies are seven times more likely than other students to carry weapons to school and found that children who bullied in Grades 6 to 9 are six times more likely to have a criminal record by the age of 24. Strong linkage was discovered between bullying behaviour during childhood years and subsequent criminal offences

after the age of 12. Jiang, Walsh, & Augimeri, 2011

Criminal convictions were found to be twice as high for those who were identified by a parent as often engaging in bullying behaviours, as compared to those identified as non-bullies.

THE BYSTANDERS

Bullying can occur in a group phenomenon and adults must be aware of the importance of the roles that bystanders play in incidents of bullying.

• Hurtful bystanders • Helpful bystanders

When bystanders intervene correctly, studies find they can cut

bullying more than half the time in 10 seconds. Pepler

HOW TO IMPLEMENT, ACHIEVE AND SUCCEED IN

CREATING A POSITIVE SCHOOL CLIMATE AND

CULTURE.

ERASE BULLYING – What’s Next?

Hard Resources

KIDS IN THE KNOW Kids in the Know is a safety program designed to

empower children and reduce their risk of victimization.

It focuses on building self-esteem through teaching critical problem-solving skills.

The program uses an inclusive, community-based approach to heighten safety awareness.

For more info: Taunya Shaw – Educational Services

Hard Resources

Parent Guide to Bullying

(Safe Schools) https://www.surreyschools.ca/departments/SAFE/Documents/Pa

rent%20Guide%20to%20Bullying%202013%20-

%20The%20Hub.pdf

Mind-up

http://thehawnfoundation.org/mindup/

Online Resources

Kids in the Know Media Smarts

https://www.kidsintheknow.ca

http://mediasmarts.ca/s

tay-path-teaching-kids-

be-safe-and-ethical-

online-portal-page

Online Resources

PBS Webonauts Academy

http://pbskids.org/webon

auts/about/educators.html

Respected - Red Cross

http://www.redcross.ca/

what-we-do/violence,-

bullying-and-abuse-

prevention

Online Resources

Erase Bullying

http://www.erasebullying.ca/

Canadian Centre for

Child Protection https://www.protectchildren.ca

Online Resources

Wired Safety https://www.wiredsafety.org/

Your school. Your culture.

Keep it safe!

www.psst-bc.ca

www.psst-bc.ca

The PSST Site was created by the Surrey School District in

partnership with the RCMP and BC Lions, for students in the

district.

This interactive site allows students to confidentially report

dangerous or illegal activity such as bullying, vandalism, drugs or

other issues happening at their schools or in their community.

The site is also provides resources on such issues.

It is the first site of its kind and is considered to be an example

for future initiatives around the province.

About

www.psst-bc.ca

Youth Resources Bullying

Career Planning

Domestic Violence

GBLTQ Youth

Drugs

o Substance Use Liaisons

Gangs

o Youth Diversity Liaisons

Getting Help

Getting Involved

Health

Online Safety

www.psst-bc.ca

Report It! Anonymous

Report anything that you have seen, heard or participated in

Help ensure the safety of yourself and others

Reach out to find the person that can help you Checked from 6am-10pm Monday-Friday

TIP Submitted on 11/30/200… - 11:33

Submitted by anonymous user: [142………5]

Submitted values are:

Form Title: Report It

What is your report about? Please choose one

option only: Possession of Weapons

What school did/will this be happening at: School

Name of person(s) causing the offence: R….

When did/will the incident occur: everyday

Please describe the incident: He carrys a gun inside his pants everyday

Have you reported this to anyone else? If so, who: no

Optional Information

First name:

Last name:

Do you want us to contact you:

How would you like us to contact you:

www.psst-bc.ca

Getting Involved

Submit your poems, short stories, artwork or videos to

be posted on the site!

Participate in PSST contests!

Look out for PSST at your school!

www.psst-bc.ca

Partnerships & Upcoming Initiatives

Surrey Steps Up

A partnership between the Surrey School District, City of Surrey and Surrey RCMP, Surrey

Steps Up is a unique initiative challenging schools, local businesses and neighbourhoods to

“step-up” and create positive actions in their schools and communities.

An evolution from the previous Stop Bullying Film Contest this new project will focus more

on pro-social behaviour and the use of the Social Emotional Learning Framework (SEL) that

teaches practical skills that students can apply across a range of situations.

As part of this initiative a promotional video is being developed featuring student groups,

schools and various landmarks across the city. The video will be showcased on Bullying

Prevention Day (Pink T-Shirt Day), Wednesday, February 26th. Subsequent school and city-

wide events will follow. We will keep everyone posted on when and where they will occur.

Responsible Digital Citizenship