Building Strong Families

Chapter 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1CmP0sLTK8

Essential Questions

• What qualities contribute to building a strong family?• What are family structures and how are they

the same/different?• What trends affect families?• What are the three parenting styles and how

do they differ?• How do you determine effective ways of

guiding children’s behavior?

Vocabularycustodial parent

intergenerationaldeprivation

guidance

selfdiscipline

conscience

consistent

fosterchild

How would you define family?

A group of people who:

care for one another

teach you life skills

provide shelter/basic needs

share close connections

teach you values

Does a family….•Have to agree on every thing?

•Be related by blood?

•Have arguments?

•Spend a lot of time together?

• Love and care for each other?

Some things that strong families share

• Everyone feels accepted and safe

• Everyone learns and grows together

• Emotional support, security

• Bonds and traditions

• Values and acceptable behaviors

Assessment Prompt: How do families do this when they do not live together?

• Stick up for each other

• Family reunions

• Support system for each other

• Make time to be together

• Honest with each other

• Love each other

• Shopping together

• Family night

• Boundaries

• Talk about problems

• Attend church

• We are close---couldn’t imagine a day without them

Characteristics of Strong Families• Members work together

• Listen with an open mind

• Share responsibilities

• Share goals and values

These are vital life lessons!

What are the functions of families?•Meet basic needs

• Prepare children to live in society

• Provide support

• Form traditions

•Share values

•Handle conflicts

For each of the above…what does it mean and how do we do it?

Family Structures

Nuclear

Family Structures

oasis-church-nj.com

Single Parent

Family Structures

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9f/Brady_Bunch_full_cast_1973.JPG

Blended Family

Family Structures

lookherenow.org

Extended Family

Family Structures

Legal Guardian

Family Structures

FosterChild

Family StructuresTalk to your partner about whether each type of family can be strong?

Do some have a better chance?

Do some have less of a chance?

Which family structure is the best?

What trends affect families?

Mobility

What trends affect families?

Aging Population

What trends affect families?

Economic Changes

What trends affect families?

Workplace Changes

What trends affect families?

Technology

What trends affect families?

Talk to your partner

Explain what trends are affecting your family and how.

Then talk about how your family stays strong while

facing these trends.

What do you think?Many families are facing hard times. Image one of your parents lose their job and the only job they can find is 100 miles away and doesn’t pay well. As a teen, would it be easier to move to a new community or have to cut way back on spending? Explain

There is also a family life cycle we go through…

Stage Advantages Disadvantages

Beginning /Couples

Expanding

Developing

Launching

Middle / Empty Nest

Retirement

There is also a family life cycle we go through…

Talk to your partner about what whether this life cycle is the same for everyone?

List things that may cause it to change.

Another thing that makes families unique is the parenting style used.

Authoritarianhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj64B6P9bxs

Parent Centered

Obedience

Discipline (physical)

No Rewards

Another thing that makes families unique is the parenting style used.

Permissivehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oknZ-Hp5QEw

Child Centered

No Authority

Child Decides

Actions Teach

Another thing that makes families unique is the parenting style used.

Democratic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxVMYXO57k8

Parent = Child

Develop self confidence

Limits from parents

Punishment = Crime

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbkzpgBlHUs

What type of families are you looking at here?

PARENTING SKILLS•These do not come naturally

•Learned through practice

•Different for everyone

•Learn by mistakes

• It’s all about the child’s needs

Categories of Children’s Needs

Physical needs

What is included in physical needs?

• Nourishing meals

• Clean, dry, comfortable clothes

• Safe, clean place to call home

• Regular doctor visits and immunizations

• Car seat for safety

• Environment for learning

Categories of Children’s Needs

Emotional and Social Needs

What is included in Emotional/Social needs?

• Raise happy, independent adults

• Function in the world

• Get along with others

• Learn how to care for others

• Learn though relationships with parents

• Show nurturing

• Show restraint (over protective)

Categories of Children’s Needs

Intellectual Needs

What is included in intellectual needs?

• Learning begins at birth

• Infancy is a time of constant learning

• Use the senses (many exposures/experiences)

• Reading is the single most important activity

• Everyday play objects (not expensive toys)

•When needs are met, better prepared for school

What if a child’s needs are meet?• Deprivation• Not meeting needs of child• Nothing to do with money (rich and poor

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b2/Starved_Vietnamese_man,_1966.JPEG

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vwX5-YDvgJw/TuVXXD0TSBI/AAAAAAAACFk/VJOvONBC02Y/s320/africa%2Bkids.jpg

http://dontwelookalike.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/yangximattresses.jpg

An example

•https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thIDCL3NClQ

Talk about what caused this situation

Talk about what needed to be changed

Can you imagine ever having a life like this?

Think about….A time when you did not behave properly?

Briefly explain what happened

Tell us how people around reacted

Tell us how an adult reacted (parent)

Was that effective in stopping the behavior

Some Examples

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aILxZYr7J1s&feature=related (car seat)

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1ZR4Av-HBI&NR=1 (change dress)

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx8S9AKb_oM (grocery store)

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H30YrFg3rqQ&playnext=1&list=PLC51D728EE4267841 (guitar hero)

Guidance• Define?

process of controlling actions of child

giving advice

help understand behavior & consequences

• Goal?

have child act in a developmentally appropriate manner/socially acceptable

self discipline

• How?

• use firmness and understanding to teach behavior control

Remembering that guidance is the big picture…

Why do children need guidance

throughout their life?

1. Help learn to get along with others

2. Learn to handle feelings in an acceptable way

3. Develop positive feelings about themselves

4. Learn moral development (conscience)

Discipline• Define?

small part of guidance

control behavior

• Goal?

obedience?

acceptable behavior

• How?

age appropriate

punishment/praise

Punishment• Define?

penalty/consequence for misbehavior

small part of discipline

• Goal?

control behavior

• How?

individual decision

self esteem of the child is essential

What is the most important word for a parent to

remember?Consistency

What does it mean?

Everyone doing the same thing, the same way, every time!

Why is consistency so important?Children learn to trust the adults in their

life.

Without consistency:

lose trust --- lose confidence --- become confused --- become insecure

--- child will not listen (behave)

Parents Need to Encourage Appropriate Behavior

•Tell child exactly what is expected.

• Examples:

• Toys away

• Dishes away

Parents Need to Encourage Appropriate Behavior

• Set a good example.

• Children imitate adults.

• Child learn by being shown.

• Examples:

• Language

• Actions

Parents Need to Encourage Appropriate Behavior• Praise appropriate behavior

• Positive reinforcement

•Works for most children

•Behavior and not child

Praising Behaviors1.Be specific/clear

2.Notice behavior when happens

3.Recognize small steps

4.Help them be proud of themselves

5.Encourage in problem areas

Offering ChoicesChildren do not have good problem

solving skills.

Encourage them to make their

own decisions.

Be sure to offer no more than 2

good choices.

Setting Limits for Children•What should limits achieve?

• Keep children from hurting themselves

• Keep children from hurting others•Keep children from hurting property

Inappropriate Behavior• Let’s face it, event the best child

misbehaves sometimes.

• As a parent or caregiver, you must

• learn to deal with misbehavior

• appropriately and effectively.

Inappropriate BehaviorIntentional Misbehavior

First time, give a warning, not punishment

Second time, negative reinforcement

(discourage them from repeating it)

Be sure child knows you disapprove of behavior and not them!

Inappropriate Behavior•When you give punishment, be

sure it is in proportion to the misbehavior.

•Punishment =Crime

Dealing with Inappropriate Behaviors

Natural Consequences

The end result of the misbehavior is

it’s own punishment. Nothing else needed.

Examples

Dealing with Inappropriate Behaviors

Loss of PrivilegesNot effective until about age 5

Loss should be related to misbehavior

Example:

Dealing with Inappropriate Behaviors

Loss of Privileges

Not effective until about age 5

Loss should be related to misbehavior

Example:

Dealing with Inappropriate BehaviorsTime Out

Time away from activity or people

Chance to calm down and regain control

Steps in time out:

Poor Disciplinary MeasuresBribing

Child always expects something

Child doesn’t learn self control

Promise to BehaveFeel like they let you down

Afraid you will be mad at them

Poor Disciplinary MeasuresShouting and Yelling

Child can be scared

Loud voices affect children emotionally

Shaming/Belittling

Destroys child’s self esteem

Makes them feel worthless