Building Satisfaction Plus

7/31/2019 Building Satisfaction Plus

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Building Satisfaction: Part One

THE POWER TO EVALUATE

A computer keyboard has a "Z" key. Typically, depressing the "Z" key causes a "Z" to

appear on the monitor. With a different program, depressing the "Z" key could cause theHebrew letter "Zayyin" to appear. It depends on the software.The same is true of us.Wed like to think that our evaluations are "givens" and that our responses are "built-in.""Of course I got angry," we bellow, "did you see what he did?!?" We forget that there aremany kinds of "software" we can download into our brains. There are a plethora ofevaluations from which we can choose when "our keys are pushed." We forget that ourresponses are not automatic: they are built on our evaluations (i.e., what appears "on themonitor" depends on the "software").

If you change how you evaluate, youll change the way you respond. With a positive

attitudinal posture, you will develop a positive emotional reaction.

THE PROPER FOCUS

The Sages of the Mishnah tell us that one is "a wealthy person" if he "rejoices in hisportion." Part of "rejoicing in ones portion" is counting ones blessings. (1) Indeed, whatyou choose to focus on makes a tremendous impact on how you appraise yourself, others,and the circumstances of your life.In the Shaarei Teshuvah, Rabbenu Yonah tells the story of two travelers who passed bythe malodorous carcass of a dog. One commented on the strength of the carcass odor. Theother replied, "See how white its teeth are!" (2)

You can feel more positive about yourself, your spouse, your associates, and yourcircumstances if you focus on THE WHITE TEETH!

For example:

[The great Sage,] Rabbi [Avrohom Yaakov HaKohen] Pam taught, "Human nature is suchthat when someone is wronged, he focuses on his hurt and ignores, at least for the moment,the perpetrators [positive] qualities." This was not Adams approach to Eve, despite herrole in his sin and his punishment. We can derive a lesson from Adams conduct. "Whenhusband and wife overlook each others deficiencies and occasional lapses and insteadfocus on each others [positive] qualities, they have the makings of a very successful,enduring marriage." (3)

Another example:

Rav Pam was reluctant to make his pain known during one of his last hospital stays. Agrandson pointed out that they could ease his pain if he would just complain a little. RavPam responded, "[D]o you know how old I am?--eighty-eight. Do you know how old


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eighty-eight is? Its a long time. Some people dont live until fifty. Fewer people live untilsixty, even less until seventy or eighty. Look at what the Ribbono shel Olam (Master of theUniverse) gave me--eighty-eight years! Im so makir tov (grateful) for this! So, if alongwith those years comes some pain, you want me to complain about it? How can Icomplain?" (4)

EVALUATING YOURSELF

You can begin to appraise yourself in a positive light by bearing in mind some essentialverities:

You have value merely by dint of being a creation of G-d. (5)

You were created for a Divine purpose--and that purpose can ONLY be fulfilled by YOU.(6)

You have worth uniquely as a human being, because humans are created BTzelem Elokim(in G-ds Image). (7)

You have inherent value. Rabbenu Yonah says that knowing this is essential in the serviceof G-d. (8)

You have "essential great importance," as the great Sage, Rabbi Aharon Kotler taught,adding that a "person is obligated to reflect upon and recognize" this. (9)

You are talented and gifted in a unique way. The Midrashic Sages teach that you have anobligation to honor G-d with the talents He graciously bestowed upon you. Perforce, youhave talents and gifts and you must recognize them! (10)

These realities are not affected by anyone elses words or deeds.Nothing anyone says ordoes to you takes away from what youre worth and what youre capable of doing.

Doing a sin does not alter these realities.

A lack of material success does not alter these realities:

Youre not in control of your material success; its a Divine decree: "HaKol BideiShamayyim Chutz MiYiras Shamayyim (Everything comes about by Divine decree exceptfor a persons reverence for G-d)." (11)How can you condemn yourself for whats not inyour control? As the Maharsha points out, "You cannot be praised or criticized for anattribute that is yours perforce" ("HaHechraiach Lo Yeshubach VLo YGuneh").(12) Atmost, there may be room for a critique vis--vis insufficient Hishtadlus (effort). TheMesilas Yeshorim describes Hishtadlus as the "tax" that must be paid before G-d gives usthe success Hes decreed for us; after paying this "tax," there is no room or need for worry.(13)


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EVALUATING WHAT OTHERS SAY AND DO

A newly-married fellow brings home challah for the first Shabbos he and his bride willspend in their new home. He INTENDS to be a good husband, and he recalls that his fatheralways saved his mother the trouble of baking by bringing home challah for her. However,

his wife is devastated. HER mother always baked the challah for Shabbos. To her, hisbringing home challah is indicative of his belief that she is an utter incompetent. TheIMPACT on her is to humiliate her.As we see, human relationships are subject to discrepancies between INTENTION andIMPACT. (14) A fundamental rule for having a successful relationship is: You mustDECODE.

You need to ask, "What is the meaning of this speech and behavior according to the Other's'dictionary'?" The intention of the speaker must inform your evaluation of the speech. Theintention of the doer must inform your evaluation of the behavior.

[Furthermore, if you want the Other to be satisfied with YOU, the makeup of the Othermust inform your speech and behavior. This way, your actual impact is the desired impact.Inotherwords, you must ENCODE.]

As we evaluate the Others behavior and speech, we must also remember that the Torahcommands us to judge a fellow Jew favorably. This requires us to give an average personthe benefit of the doubt when a given behavior can be interpreted either favorably orunfavorably (with an equal probability for both interpretations). It also requires us toevaluate a given behavior of a high-caliber servant of G-d in a positive light--even whenthat behavior is seemingly problematic. It is praiseworthy to give unknown people thebenefit of the doubt, as well. (15)

As you begin to appraise others in a positive light, you will begin to respond to them withfewer and fewer negative emotions and more and more positive ones. For example, youmay find that you can diminish the amount of times you get angry when you re-evaluatewhat enrages you. You may realize that the Others speech and behavior is NOT reallymeant as an attack on YOU. You may realize that the Others speech (or behavior) is NOTa genuine threat to your dignity, success, or pleasure.

As your self-appraisal grows more positive, you may find that even the real attacks are less

and less bothersome.

EVALUATING EVENTS

As mentioned earlier, the Sages of the Mishnah tell us that one is "a wealthy person" if he"rejoices in his portion." Why did they choose the word "portion" from among the availableoptions? They might have said that one should "rejoice with what he has" or "rejoice in hissituation."


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Perhaps the Sages are stressing that what we have in life is apportionedto us by G-d anddid not happen at random. When you realize that the circumstances of your life arebeneficial Divine decrees, you can rejoice in them. As the Mesilas Yeshorim says, "Apersons love of G-d will not be weakened by pressure or pain when he considers thateverything G-d does to him is for his benefit." (16) And in the Kuntres Hakdamas Ben

Yisachar we find the following: "If a person would realize that everything occurs throughHeaven-sent Divine Providence, he certainly would not get angry and he would believe thatwhat happens is for his benefit." (17) We can even view Yissurim (afflictions) as positiveexperiences and rejoice in them because they can arouse us to repentance and afford usatonement. (18)

TALK SMART; THINK SMART

A person should accustom himself to say, "Whatever the Merciful One [viz., G-d] does, Hedoes for [a] good [purpose]." (19) Due to the impact of our speech on our thoughts (20),this will lead us to a change how we evaluate unpleasant events. Nachum Ish Gam-Zu is

praiseworthy (inter alia) because he would always say, "This [unpleasant occurrence] isalso for [a] good [purpose]." (21) He is certainly worthy of emulation!

NOTES

1. An explanation of Avos 4:1 that I heard from the great Sage, Rabbi Ahron HaLeviSoloveichik,

2. Shaarei Teshuvah, Shaar 3, #217

3. "Rav Pam," by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman, p.441

4. Ibid., p.476

5. Heard from Rabbi Hershel Schachter,

6. Rabbi Avrohom Twersky, "Let Us Make Man," p.113

7. Heard from the great Sage, Rabbi Ahron HaLevi Soloveichik, and from Rabbi HershelSchachter. Both have written that all human beings are created BTzelem Elokim.

8. Shaar HaAvodah, Shaar 1, Ch. 1: "SheYaidah HaIsh HaOveid Erech Atzmo." Indeed,the awareness of ones self-worth is crucial in interpersonal relationships. The OrchosTzaddikim [Shaar HaAhavah] states, "Choose to associate with someone who recognizestheir personal value," and the Mivchar HaPeninim [23, Shaar Bechinas HaChaburah]adds, "There is no good in associating with someone who does not recognize their personalvalue."

9. Mishnas Rabbi Aharon, Vol. 1, "Banim Ahtem:"


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10. Heard from Rabbi Yisroel HaLevi Belsky, citing the Midrash Tanchuma, Reh, Siman12, which expounds Proverbs 3:9

11. Berachos 33/b

12. Maharsha, Niddah 16/b

13. Mesilas Yeshorim, Ch. 21

14. Heard from Rabbi Dr. Irving Levitz

15. Heard from the great Sage, Rabbi Avrohom Yaakov HaKohen Pam, (on tape)

16. Mesilas Yeshorim, Ch. 19 [re Ahavah]

17. Kuntres Hakdamas Ben Yisachar, by Rabbi Eliyahu Weinberger, p.10

18. Berachos 5/a; Shaarei Teshuvah of Rabbenu Yonah, Shaar 2, #3 & #4; DerechHashem, Chelek 2, Ch. 3, #5

19. Berachos 60/b, codified in Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 230:5

20. Heard from Rabbi Avigdor HaKohen Miller, (on tape)

21. Taanis 21/a


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Building Satisfaction: Part Two

EVALUATING YOUR SPOUSE, YOUR MARRIAGE & YOUR ROLE AS A PARENT

It doesnt take a rocket scientist to posit that unrealistic expectations have fomented many

Shalom Bayyis (marital harmony) problems. You may enter marriage thinking, "I will nowhave my emotional needs met--when and how I need them met." Surprise! Your spousespeaks and acts exactly as you want only most of the time! Having encountered realityfrom an unrealistic perspective, you might begin to appraise your marriage negatively.Negative attitudes and responses will flow from that negative appraisal.

You will become more satisfied with your marriage when your expectations become morerealistic. The essence of marriage is not "effortless, perpetual, immediate gratification." AsRabbi Zelig Pliskin has explained, your marriage (like everything else in life) is asurmountable challenge sent to you for the purpose of your personal development: "Every challenge in your life is meant as a Nisayon, a life-challenge, from which you can

grow[Marriage] will test you in a way that youve never been tested beforeMarriage isfor growthThe person you are married to is exactly the person with whom, at present, itis in your best spiritual interests to interact[H]ear the Heavenly voice calling out[,] Youare married to exactly the right person for you!" (22)

You can also enhance your marital satisfaction by looking at all of your spouses positiveaspects and all the positive aspects of your marriage and saying, "Dayyenu:" it suffices.This was the approach of Rabbi Chiyyah to the formidable challenges he faced in hismarriage. (23) Rabbi Chiyyah did have a minimum standard, however. He didnt say thathis wifes capacity to breathe independently was in itself sufficient! Indeed, we do have awhole tractate entitled, "Gittin (writs of divorce)." The key is to say "Dayyenu" moreeasily, suffused with realism and understanding--not to say "Dayyenu" unconditionally. Forexample, you want Level 10 of some trait from your spouse. However, they come into themarriage giving only Level 6. The key is for you to be satisfied with Level 8 and for yourspouse to develop to Level 8.

It should be noted that it is extremely worthwhile to consult Talmidei Chachamim (Torahscholars) to verify that what you perceive as a deficiency in your spouse truly is one.Perhaps, from a Torah perspective, its a positive attribute! In that case, you will have onemore reason to feel satisfied.

WHEN TO WORK; HOW TO WORK

My great mentor, Rabbi Aharon HaKohen Kahn, has taught that the most crucial time forworking to be at your best is not during the dating before engagement: its after thewedding! Rabbi Kahn pointed out that, although the Sages say (24) that G-d makesZivugim (marital matches), they do not say that He maintains them. Its a sign of skewedpriorities when people work tirelessly to get engaged but slack off after the wedding. Thetime of marriage is the real time for the hardest work. With G-ds indispensable help, it willlast!


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If you want to enhance your bond with your spouse, GIVE TO THEM! (25)

If you want to enhance your love for your spouse, GIVE TO THEM! Even small gestures(e.g., a phone call that demonstrates concern; an affectionate note) are valuable. (26)

AFTER THE FIGHT

remember that no less than the Name of G-d is erased to restore marital harmony. (27)

remember that the Sages of the Talmud say, "A person should always cling to peace-making." (28)

remember a lesson that can be learned from the three steps taken at the end of ShemonehEsreh and Kaddish: we are willing to go backwards, to the left, and to the right, for the sakeof peace. (29)

PARENTING

Reflection on citations from two of the greatest Sages of recent times may help make theinnumerable challenges of child-raising more meaningful:

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein: "From the perspective of G-d and the Torah, the most importantMelacha (labor) is raising children." (30)

Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg: "[I]t is exactly that small chessed (kindness) [e.g.,washing a baby or singing a lullaby to a baby, as Shifra and Puah did, respectively] whichis so important to the Torah...You can't imagine the importance of taking loving care ofyour children, and these small acts are not really small at all[--and each one] is building theJewish nation.'' (31)

NOTES

22. Cf. "Marriage," by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin, p.xi, 54, 105, 108

23. Yevamos 63/a

24. Bereishis Rabbah 68:4

25. Heard from Rabbi Yisroel HaLevi Belsky, based on Kesubos 105/b. Rabbi Belsky hasalso taught that a married man is "a greater person who carries the wonderful Middah (trait)of being an Ish Chessed (man of kindness) and being a Nosein (giver) and not a Mekabel(receiver)," and that "the person who gives is a Melech (king)[;] nobility [ ] is somethingthat radiates from a person who gives."

26. Heard from Rabbi Meir HaLevi Stern, citing Derech Eretz Zuta, Ch. 2. Rabbi Stern also


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provided the practical steps mentioned here.

27. Rambam, Hilchos Chanukah 4:14

28. Yevamos 109/a

29. Heard from Rabbi Binyamin Kaminetzky

30. Igros Moshe, Orach Chaim 4:49

31. "Heart to Heart Talks," compiled by Rabbi Moshe Finkelstein from the teachings ofRabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg, assisted by A. Rappaport, pp.267-268

Building Satisfaction: Part Three


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EVALUATING MITZVOS (THE COMMANDMENTS)

The Sifsei Chayyim states, "Joy in performing a mitzvah proves that one recognizes thevalue of mitzvos." (32) Hence, you can enhance how much you enjoy performing mitzvosby enhancing how much you value mitzvos.

Keep in mind the following:

Keeping Mitzvos gives us a Shayyachus and Hiskarvus (connectedness and closeness) toG-d. (33)

Keeping Mitzvos gives us true Shleimus (wholeness and perfection). (34) The US Armyused to inspire recruitment by declaring that you could "Be All That You Can Be" bybecoming a soldier. To a Jew, we could say, "Be As Perfected As You Can Be" by servingG-d!

Keeping Mitzvos brings joy (mutatis mutandis) to G-d, and we can rejoice in that:

In Ch. 33, the Tanya states, "Whoever is of the seed of Israel ought to rejoice in the joy ofG-d ("Lismoach BSimchas Hashem"), Who is happy and joyous with His abode amongstthe creatures of the lower spheres." Rabbi Yosef Wineberg explains, "G-ds joy isespecially great when the creations in [ ] the very lowest world [ ] become an abode forHim." In discussing Ch. 36, Rabbi Wineberg connects the mitzvos to the creation of thisdwelling-place: "The Alter Rebbe [ ] explains that G-ds purpose in Creation is that Hemight have a dwelling place in the lower realms, specifically, in this physical world.[T]hrough the practical mitzvot, and through their elevating effect on the body and theanimal soul, the material world in its entirety becomes a dwelling place for G-d." (35)

EVALUATING FAITH: IS IT IRRATIONAL OR UNSCIENTIFIC TO BELIEVE?

The seforim (holy books) state that Torah-true beliefs can be readily embraced by a rationalbeing:

The Kuzari declares that the Torah contains nothing that contradicts the testimony of directobservation and nothing that contradicts that which is proven by logic. (36) Relatedly,Rabbi J. David Bleich, has written, "G-d does not impose obligations which cannot befulfilled; [therefore,] G-d cannot command man to accept the illogical or the irrationalPropositions which constitute objects of belief must, then, first and foremost do no violenceto human credulity. They must be readily apprehended and accepted by human thought."(37)

Sometimes people ask, "What do we do if Torah and Science (or History) are in conflict?"In truth, what they are really asking is, "What if the Torahs description of physical realityas I understand it contradicts what I accept as the truth about physical reality?" Whatreally needs to be asked at the outset is: What description of physical reality does the Torahreally require a Jew to accept? Are Science (and History) so invariably reliable?


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Its worth noting that the scientific approach is not a given; it is a development in thehistory of humanity. Science was born in Ionia in the sixth century BCE. It was the Ionianswho argued that reality was knowable because it was lawful. (38)

Furthermore, Science does not provide absolutes: "[T]he essence of Science is that it isself-correcting." "[F]undamental to the scientific enterprise" is the performance ofexperiments that "vigorous[ly] reassess[ ] received wisdom" (39) "[A]bsolute certaintywill always elude us. The most we can hope for is successive improvement in ourunderstanding." (40)

Neither does History provide absolutes: "History generally is written by the victors tojustify their actionsWhen no overwhelming victory takes place, each side writes self-promotional accounts of what really happened[A]ccounts of events have passedthrough biased human filtersAll that can be hoped for is a set of successiveapproximations." (41)

The literal meaning of a Torah-source is not necessarily the only meaning--or even thecorrect meaning! Rabbi Saadiah Gaon stated that if the apparent meaning of a versecontradicts empirical data or the dictates of reason, one should seek an approach to theverses phraseology so as to dissolve the conflict. (42) Maimonides wrote that G-dincorporeality is proven by logic, mandating a non-literal interpretation of any verse thatdescribes Him in a corporeal way. On the other hand, says Maimonides, there is no need tointerpret any verse figuratively to square it with the doctrine of the eternity of the world,because that doctrine is unproven. Were it to be proven, we would, declares Maimonides,indeed interpret the relevant verses non-literally to dissolve conflicts. (43)

Maimonides also cautioned us against ascribing literalness and historicity to every Midrashand Agaddata (narrative written by the Sages of the Talmudic era): "The members of [theideal] class are convinced also of the impossibility of the impossible and the necessaryexistence of what must exist...And they are convinced beyond doubt that their [viz., theTalmudic-Midrashic Sages] words have both an outer and an inner meaning, and that in allthat they said of things impossible their discourses were in the form of riddle and parable...[W]hen you come across any of the Sages' remarks which reason rejects, you pause andlearn that it is a dark saying and an allegory.'' (44)

PRESERVING FAITH IN THE FACE OF (A) THE SUFFERING OF THE INNOCENT,(B) THE APPARENT CONTRADICTIONS IN THE PENTATEUCH, AND (C) THEMITZVOS WITH NO APPARENT RATIONALE

Imagine visiting a hospital (or a garage) and telling the physicians (or the mechanics) howto heal the people (or repair the cars). Someone might ask you, "Are you an expert?" Youwill not be taken seriously if you reply, "No, Im not an expert; I just use common sense."Medicine and auto mechanics are specialized disciplines. There is a body of knowledge--and an approach that grows out of that body of knowledge--that common sense cannotreplicate. (45)


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When a persons faith decays because of what he sees in the Torah or what he sees in theworld, he is basically saying, "I know how the Torah would be written and how the worldwould be run if G-d wrote it and ran it. What I see does NOT match up! I must concludethat it is not G-ds handiwork..."

Purely from a rational perspective, its not for a limited, biased creature to use the nakedintellect to decide that something is not the Divine Will. Only G-d is an expert in thesubject of the Divine Will! (46)

RATIONALITY AND EXPERIENCE DO NOT IMPEDE FAITH: THEY PROMOTE IT

Someone tells you, "G-d spoke to all of our ancestors at Sinai. Our ancestors heard G-d talkto Moshe Rabbenu." A teacher, a parent, or a friend tells you this. Why should you believethem?

You check around. You see that you are not the only one receiving this information. Infact, there are multitudes and multitudes of Jews receiving this information. And if youlook back 3 or 4 generations, even more multitudes. Your grandfather heard it from hisgrandfather who heard it from his grandfather etc.--and this was true of all of the Jews theyknew for as long as they knew it. Is it rational to believe this account?

If someone tells you he has an apple in a sealed opaque box, you can choose to believe it ordisbelieve it. You have no evidence in either direction. On the other hand, if the box istransparent, and you dont see the apple, you have evidence against what he says. You willnot believe it. If someone tells you he heard the Voice of G-d, you can choose to believe itor disbelieve it. On the other hand, if someone tells you that YOU heard the Voice of G-d,you will not believe it--unless you really did. You see that the account of our nationsexperience at Mount Sinai has been handed down for uncountable generations, fromparents to children and from teachers to students. You decide to do a thought-exercise. Youimagine that it never actually occurred. You imagine that numerous centuries ago, anindividual or a group of individuals started telling all of the other Jews around them, "Ourancestors heard G-d speak. Our ancestors heard G-d talk to Moshe Rabbenu." You realizethat if it did NOT happen, it would have been dismissed as a lie: "We would have known ifit happened," they would say, "because we and our parents and grandparents would havebeen told. None of us were ever told, so we have to conclude that it did not happen." Thelie would have died then and there. And yet, the account HAS been passed down. And ourancestors would not have knowingly bought into a lie and transmitted a lie. (47) In theabsence of evidence to the contrary, you may be able to get someone to believe an accountof what happened to him (the speaker) or to an anonymous group. You will not be able toget a nation to believe that something to happened to their own ancestors if it didnt. (48)IS RATIONALITY ENOUGH? THE PLACE OF THE WILL

The multi-generational transmission of the Sinai episode and the rational argument foraccepting that account will not create a believing Jew. It still takes a conscious decision toaccept the nations collective testimony when you hear it. It still takes a conscious decision


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to accept the nations collective testimony when its reliability is rationally defended. Whatcan prompt that decision?

As for myself, I can only say that my experience with Torah and Torah-life and Torah-communities has been persuasive.

Some examples:

The sophistication and the beauty, the complexity and the sweetness, of the corpus ofTorah--revealed only by plumbing its depths.

The high degree to which the Torah-observant communities are civilized (in the ethicalsense) (49) and the high-degree to which they survive through the generations as Jewishcommunities.

The unparalleled majesty of the Torah-true Shabbos table. The boundless joy of a Torah-

true wedding.

The pristine purity of those who have worked and worked to achieve a Torah-truecharacter. The awesome wholesomeness and Chein (inner charm) of Torah-observantchildren.

NOTES

32. Sifsei Chayyim, Moadim III, p.80.

33. Kuntres Hakdamas Ben Yisachar, by Rabbi Eliyahu Weinberger, p.2

34. Mesilas Yeshorim, Ch. 19 [re Ahavah]

35. "Lessons in Tanya," compiled by Rabbi Yosef Wineberg and translated by RabbisSholom and Levi Wineberg (posted on the Internet)

36. Kuzari, 1:67

37. Rabbi J. David Bleich, "With Perfect Faith," p.6ff

38. "Cosmos," by Dr. Carl Sagan, pp.175

39. Ibid., pp. xiv-xv

40. "The Demon-Haunted World," by Dr. Carl Sagan, pp.28

Note also the following statement of the great Sage, Rabbi Yosef Dov HaLeviSoloveitchik: [A]ccording to modern epistemological doctrine, and as many leadingmathematical physicists such as Hertz, Einstein, Planck, and Eddington have admitted,


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even the physicist does not simply photograph reality, but rather creates a world ofconstructs that only parallels a concrete, empirical correlative." [from "Halakhic Man,"p.29, translated by Rabbi Lawrence Kaplan]

41. "The Demon-Haunted World," by Dr. Carl Sagan, pp.252, 254.

42. Rabbi Saadiah Gaon, HaEmunos VHaDeios, Maamar 7

43. Rambam, Moreh Nevuchim 2:25

44. Rambam, Introduction to Perek Chelek, translated by J. Abelson, cited in "With PerfectFaith," by Rabbi J. David Bleich, pp.28-29

45. For the source of this notion of specialized disciplines, see "The Common SenseRebellion Against the Torah," by Rabbi Abraham R. Besdin, in "Reflections of the Rabbi,Vol. I.

46. Based on Rabbi Dr. David Gottliebs refutation of Bible Criticism (posted on theInternet).

47. Cf. Ramban, Deuteronomy 4:9, cited in "Eternal Emunah," by Rabbi Dovid TzviEliach, translated by Rabbi Yehudah Bulman, p.137: "[W]e do not testify lies to ourchildren"

48. The presentation here of the Kuzaris rational defense of the reliability of the account ofthe Sinai episode is based on Rabbi Dr. David Gottliebs formulation (as posted on theInternet). Cf. Rambam, Hilchos Yesodei HaTorah 8: 1-2: "Why did the Jews believe inMoshe Rabbenu at the time of the revelation at Mount Sinai? Because our eyes saw and ourears heard--not a strangers eyes and not someone elses ears--the fire and the sounds andthe flames, and Moshe Rabbenu approaching the dark cloud and the Voice of G-d speakingto him, and we heard, Moshe Moshe, go and say such-and-such to them." Moshe Rabbenuand the Jews are witnesses to the fact that G-d spoke to him. As I heard Rabbi Dr. AlterBen-Tziyyon Metzger formulate it, Moshe Rabbenu is the "primary validating criterion"for the Torah.

Indeed, we describe ourselves as "Maaminim Bnei Maaminim. Is this merely a praise ofour ancestors? I think not. I would suggest that when we describe ourselves in this way, weare saying, "I do not believe based on a leap of unsupported faith. I believe because I heardthe Sinai narrative from my father/rebbe, who believed because he heard it from hisfather/rebbe, all the way back to those who were there and initiated the transmission of theaccount."49. "Of course, the Jews also have their rogues and rascals. The statistical data suggest,however, that Jewrys overall profile is now and has always been at least as virtuous as (ifnot more than) the surrounding gentile populations. In every country where demographicresearch has been conducted, and in every sphere--from the most personal, to thecommunal, to the national and international--Jews stand out ethically. Jewrys


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incomparably high marriage and low divorce rates, uncommonly tight-knit familystructure, peerless emphasis on and success at educational pursuits, wildly disproportionalcontributions to technical advancement, unprecedented achievements in charity andbenevolence, extreme under-representation in criminal activities, and indefatigablecommitment to altruistic politics and social action place them among the leaders of the

human march towards civilization. The apparent intensification of all these traits amongreligious Jewry further suggests that the Torah, and not socio-economic status or someunique gene architecture, drives Jewrys ethical engine." [from "Permission to Receive," byRabbi Lawrence Keleman, pp.169-170]

"In nearly every society in which the Jews have lived for the past two thousand years, theyhave been better educated, more sober, more charitable with one another, committed farfewer violent crimes, and had a considerably more stable family life than their non-Jewishneighbors. These characteristics of Jewish life have been completely independent of Jewsaffluence or power.There are [ ] specific reasons for believing that Jews have generallyled higher quality lives [ ] and that Judaism is responsible for that high level." ["Why the

Jews?" by Dennis Prager and Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, pp.46-47. (Emphasis added).]

APPENDIX: RUMINANT RUMINATIONS

The Torah tells us [Leviticus 11:1ff.] that the Gammal, the Shaffan, and the Arnevet are notpermitted to be eaten. The Talmud in Chullin 59/a & 60/b discusses this passage and tellsus that it contains a proof that the Torah's origins are Divine. I will attempt to demonstratethat these verses contain a numerical allusion to the Talmud's statement. Using simplearithmetic, we do indeed see a hint to the Torah's true origins. [NOTE: Hebrew has noindigenous numerals; numerical values are assigned to letters of the alphabet.]

STEP 1]

IN DESCRIBING THE GAMMAL, THE TORAH EMPLOYS THE WORD,

It splits" (its hoof)

40 =

IN DESCRIBING THE SHAFFAN, THE TORAH EMPLOYS THE WORD,

"It will split" (its hoof)

10 =


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IN DESCRIBING THE ARNEVET, THE TORAH EMPLOYS THE WORD,

"It did split" (its hoof)

= +5+5=10

THE LETTERS THAT CHANGE THE TENSE OF THE VERB ("split") IN THESETHREE WORDS GIVE US

40 + 10 + 5 + 5 = 60

STEP 2]

THE PHRASE,

= 1096

["The Torah is of Divine origin"] [This phrase appears numerous in the Talmud and theMidrash.]

STEP 3]

1096 + 60 = 1156, which is

THE NUMERICAL VALUE OF THE ANIMALS mentioned:

GAMMAL= 73

SHAFFAN= 430

ARNEVET= 653

73 + 430 + 653 = 1156

The Covenant of Abraham, our Patriarch

The Talmud states (1), "[Upon hearing] good news, one says [the blessing that concludes,]The Good One Who does good; [upon hearing] bad news, one says [the blessing thatconcludes,] the Judge of Truth." Shortly after this, the Talmud states, "One is obligated tomake a blessing for a bad occurrence just as ["KShem"] one is obligated to make ablessing for a good occurrence." In a later passage (2), the Talmud explores the meaning ofthe second statement. Surely, explains the Talmud, it cannot mean that one makes the same


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blessing for a bad occurrence as for a good one--that would contradict an explicit teaching!The Talmud concludes there that the second passage deals with the approach to theblessing and not its text. One must accept all news with Simchah (joy), says the Talmud.Inotherwords, the blessings must be made wholeheartedly (3) and with an awareness thatwe are in the Presence of a G-d Who is only benevolent. (4)

Perhaps we can apply this connotation of the word "KShem" ("just as") in another context.

After a baby boy is circumcised, the attendees shout, "Just as ("KShem") he entered intothe Covenant, so may he also enter into Torah study, into the Chuppah, and into the realmof bestowing kindness."

What can the babys entrance into the Covenant via circumcision have in common withthese three lofty endeavors? What approach could all four have in common?

Perhaps our prayer for the child is:

Just as you entered the Covenant purely, without any egocentric motives and without any

personal agendas, so may you also study the Torah, function as a husband, and bestowkindness without any self-centeredness.

May you learn Torah with no ulterior motives, only seeking the truth:

Rabbi Shimon Finkelman relates the following: Many years ago, Rabbi Yisroel HaLeviBelsky arranged a meeting between the great Sage, Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetzky, and astudent whose commitment to Torah learning was less than optimal. After the meeting, thefellow explained that he felt uplifted by the encounter but was perplexed as to the purposeof the meeting. Rabbi Belsky replied, "I wanted you to spend time with Reb Yaakov so thatyou could see what Torah can do to a person."

Rabbi Finkelman concludes, "No word portrait can adequately describe the aura of a greatTorah personality, the purity, wisdom and kindness which he personifies. Rav Belsky[further stated] that in Rav Pam, the talmidim [students] of [Yeshiva] Torah Vodaathmerited another such personality, one whose very essence proclaimed the rewards for thosewho study Torah diligently, without ulterior motive." (5)

May you function as a husband with selfless devotion:

"[Rav Pam] offered a homiletic interpretation of Rashis comment on the verse, [ ] heshall gladden his wife whom he has married. Says Rashi, This verse is rendered by theTargum, "And he shall gladden his wife" But he who translates it, "He shall be glad withhis wife," is mistaken. Said Rav Pam: The Torahs prescription for a successful marriageis that the husband focuses on making his wife happy. However, one who focuses onmaking himself happy with his wife is wrong. Such a marriage will not succeed." (6)

May you bestow kindness with only the needs of the Other in mind:


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"Rav Pam noted that [the Patriarch] Avrohom prepared a lavish meal for his three guests(Genesis Ch. 18) though he was surely not one to indulge in such feasts. The way of a trueBaal Chessed (habitual benefactor), he explained, is to focus on the individuals needs,regardless of whether or not one personally has such needs." (7)

NOTES

1. Berachos 54/a2. Berachos 60/b3. Rashi, Berachos 60/b, c.v. Likbulinhu BSimchah4. Heard from HaGaon Rav Hershel Schachter5. "Rav Pam," by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman, p. 3636. Ibid., p. 4427. Ibid., p. 275

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