Slide 1

Wrong choice!

This sentence is about how exercise leads to a healthy life.Try again

8Your introduction paragraph must include two things:1. an interesting lead/hook*You only have a few seconds to GRAB your reader so youve got to draw him/her in QUICKLY.

2. a thesis statement

6 Lastly, when I am bored, my phone keeps me entertained.

With of my phone, I never feel like I am wasting my time because I can always be working on something. This sentence SUPPORTS the topic sentence by explaining it further. Try againThis sentence is focused.paragraph made up of a topic sentence, several sentences of details everything in the paragraph should be about the one topic of the paragraph. If you start writing about a new topic, that means you need to start a new paragraph. topic sentence tells your readers what your paragraph is about; introduces the topic of your paragraph

supporting sentences the details, examples, and information readers need to understand the topic. These sentences should contain details that clearly support the topic sentence.

Parts of a paragraphclosing sentence a sentence that wraps-up or summarizes the main ideas of your paragraphHere are some options for leads/hooks:

DialogueInteresting questionSet the mood/sceneActionHumorFigurative Language*more leads and examples

7Thesis statements are

Flashlights that shine down into the rest of the story. John McPhee

thesis statement: a sentence that tells what the essay is about; the most important part of an essayI love my iphone. When I dont have it, I feel frustrated and lost. It is my favorite possession.Look at my introduction paragraph. It could use some revision. It has both a lead sentence and a thesis, but are they good enough? Answer the following revision questions:1. Does the lead sentence hook the reader?yesno2. Does the thesis statement introduce the essays topic well? yesnoMy iphone keeps me connected to my favorite people. I am constantly communicating with my mom , my husband, and my three friends: Michelle, Kim, and Deb. It also helps me stay in touch with my cousin Rob who lives out of town. All of my beloved music is at the tips of my fingertips when I have my phone. If I am in the car, I can plug in my phone and be instantly cheered up or calmed down by the sounds of Dave or whomever I am wanting to hear at that moment. Lastly, when I am bored, my phone keeps me entertained. While I am waiting, I can check my email, go online, or play games. It sure beats sitting and staring at a wall with nothing to do.*Notice that each paragraph has a topic sentence that supports the thesis statement in the introduction.These are all reasons that my iphone is my favorite possession.

thesis statement

reasons/topic sentences

examples and details (supporting sentences)

FOCUS : a central point of attentionEvery sentence in the essay supports the main idea (thesis statement).To keep your essay focused, make sure that EVERY sentence supports the thesis statement.

Lets check the body of the original essay for focus.

My iphone keeps me connected to my favorite people. I am constantly communicating with my mom , my husband, and my three friends: Michelle, Kim, and Deb. It also helps me stay in touch with my cousin Rob who lives out of town. It is hard to find time to maintain contact with my friends and family, so being able to chat with them when I am on the go is wonderful. All of my beloved music is at the tips of my fingertips when I have my phone. If I am in the car, I can plug in my phone and be instantly cheered up or calmed down by the sounds of Dave or whomever I am wanting to hear at that moment. If it were up to me, music would be playing every second, so it is great to be able to access it as much as possible using my phone. Lastly, when I am bored, my phone keeps me entertained. While I am waiting, I can check my email, go online, or play games. It sure beats sitting and staring at a wall with nothing to do.*The topic sentencescreate FOCUS by supporting the thesis statement.Now, lets look closer to see if all sentences in each paragraph are focused.

My iphone keeps me connected to my favorite people. I am constantly communicating with my mom , my husband, and my three friends: Michelle, Kim, and Deb. It also helps me stay in touch with my cousin Rob who lives out of town. It is hard to find time to maintain contact with my friends and family, so being able to chat with them when I am on the go is wonderful.All of the black sentences are FOCUSED the blue topic sentence .

33All of my beloved music is at the tips of my fingertips when I have my phone. If I am in the car, I can plug in my phone and be instantly cheered up or calmed down by the sounds of Dave or whomever I am wanting to hear at that moment. Also, when I exercise, I can connect my headphones and be motivated by my music. If it were up to me, music would be playing every second, so it is great to be able to access it as much as possible using my phone. All of the black sentences are focusedon the blue topic sentence .

Lastly, when I am bored, my phone keeps me entertained. While I am waiting, I can check my email, go online, or make lists. I enjoy being productive, and it sure beats sitting and staring at a wall with nothing to do. One thing I wish is that I had chosen a different color cover. With my phone, I never feel like I am wasting my time because I can always be working on something. Click on the sentence that is not focused.

Lastly, when I am bored, my phone keeps me entertained. While I am waiting, I can check my email, go online, or make lists. I enjoy being productive, and it sure beats sitting and staring at a wall with nothing to do. Because of my phone, I never feel like I am wasting my time because I can always be working on something. Topic SentenceSupporting SentencesClosing Sentence44~Have one main idea(topic sentence) in each paragraph, and make sure that everything in that paragraph has to do with(supports) that main idea, otherwise known as focus.

~When you start on a new idea, let the reader know by starting a new paragraph.

~End each paragraph with a closing sentence.

~Make sure that each of the paragraphs has to do with the thesis or topic of the essay as a whole. This is focus, too.

Paragraphing RulesMy iphone keeps me connected to my favorite people. I am constantly communicating with my mom , my husband, and my three friends: Michelle, Kim, and Deb. It also helps me stay in touch with my cousin Rob who lives out of town. It is hard to find time to maintain contact with my friends and family, so being able to chat with them when I am on the go is wonderful. All of my beloved music is at the tips of my fingertips when I have my phone. If I am in the car, I can plug in my phone and be instantly cheered up or calmed down by the sounds of Dave or whomever I am wanting to hear at that moment. If it were up to me, music would be playing every second, so it is great to be able to access it as much as possible using my phone. Lastly, when I am bored, my phone keeps me entertained. While I am waiting, I can check my email, go online, or make lists. I enjoy being productive, and it sure beats sitting and staring at a wall with nothing to do. Because of my phone, I never feel like I am wasting my time because I can always be working on something.

A new paragraphis started for each new reason. *Notice that all paragraphs are indented.

Closing sentencesYour turn

1. Open up a Microsoft Word document.Write a paragraph about your favorite season. Include the following: ~Topic sentence~At least two supporting sentences~Closing sentenceFollow paragraphing rulesPrint your paragraph and hand it in to me.

See an example paragraph on the next slide.My favorite time of year is when winter becomes spring. Theres nothing better than sliding on icy snow when the sun is shining. Sticky spring snow creates perfect snowballs. When that warm spring air begins to sneak in, I cant help but smile. Bye, bye bulky winter coat and thick sweaters!48

Congratulations! You made it.Now you are ready to write an essay.

Please write an essay about your favorite possession.

Sweet, an essay!I have the perfect thesis statement!I love using paragraphs!ImagesThesis funnel- ncowie.wordpress.comMicrosoft Office Clips Online http://office.microsoft.com/enus/images/??Origin=EC790014051033&CTT=6&ver=12&app=powerpnt.exe