>­.D

£o.cCl.

ing to be on tour, we might haveto wait until June. Great!

We started talking about thesize of the stage, the dre.ssingrooms, security, lights, insurance,etc. Several weeks later I got a callsaying that Mark is sorry but wecan no longer have a concert. Theband did not want to give two con­certs for one contest. Why shouldthey have to pay for what they feltwas KROQ's mistake? He triedeverything he could but it ain't go­ing to happen. That's it.

I called Kathleen from KROQ(remember her?) and yelled myhead off. She said that whether ornot our entries entitled us to a con­cert or not and whether or not shehad the right to tell us what she didwas irrelevant.

All that in mind, they still pro­mised us a concert and she was. go­ing to hold them to that promise.The next day - "there isn't muchthat I can do ... "

At this point I went to ourfriendly Deans and we set up ameeting with the Institute lawyer.The lawyer. thought that the 20tickets offered to us in compensa­tion for the whole affair wasridiculous. How about 800 ticketsfor all the undergrads, maybe 1600for the grad students as well, ormaybe even 2000 to include somestaff.

The CIT lawyer together withour public relations office (a directline to the press) are going to tryto convince Honda and whoeverelse that it is in their best interestto satisfy us.

As it stands now, a concert isimpossible. A reasonable numberof tickets to a show inL.A.... we'll see.

FRIDAY 6 MARCH 1987

toOay ISORopOay

many more entries. We had untilFriday at five.

We fIlled out (all the houses ex­cept Page participating at thispoint) 52,000 entries and drovethem to KROQ. Kathleen seemedoptimistic about our chances. Nowthe waiting started.

Problems arise

The long wait..•

Every Monday and Friday Icalled Kathleen at KROQ and wastold that nothing was new as to thewinner and to call back. Afterseveral weeks, and constant nagg­ing by the CIT community, I call­ed Honda-the sponsor. Pam Deantold me the winner would be an­nounced in three days and that ifwe weren't told yet (the winner wasto be told before the rest of theworld) we probably hadn't won.

The next day Clea came to me,telling me that the public events of­fice got a phone call and referredit to her. She gave me the name andphone number for Mark Shimmel.I immediately called him and heverified that we won. I was toldthat there was a problem with ourentries not being validated butbecause of our great enthusiasm wewould be given a concert as wellas the next school with less - butvalidated - entries.

After talking with many peoplein the administration and with con­cert halls and more, Mark Shim­mel called to say that the concertwould be on December 23. I saidthat would be unacceptable, seeingthat many students go home forChristmas. Since the band was go-

What Happened to Dingo Boingo

questions on the matter. Since I amnot always there, leave a messageat the tone and I will get back toyou. Ta Ta.

More cards

On Friday morning, hearing apromotion for this contest onKROQ, I called, to be told byKathleen Riely that we coulddeliver our entries to the stationrather than send them to NewYork. Without the cost of thestamps we could afford to send

by Adam Siovik"Why haven't we .had the Oingo

concert?" Since our entrance into. the 'back to school' (Oingo Boingo

Concert) sweepstakes, it seems thewhole campus is filled with ques­tions. Perhaps this article can shedlight on the situation.

Brian Daniels and I were toldof this contest without manydetails. After many phonecalls,some to New York, I reachedsomeone who knew what was go­ing on. This was on a Tuesday.

She said that she would sendout the official rules in the mail, butthat we had to handwrite on an in­dex card our name and school andget it validated at a Honda dealerand send it to New York to bereceived by Monday.

Brian and I went to all thehouses asking for monetary supportfor the cards and stamps as well aslabor to fIll ourthese cards. All thehouses except Lloyd (and ofcourseFleming) refused money, sayingthat their houses were not en­thusiastic. Lloyd and Flemingdecided to go on, knowing that allthe houses would gain if we won,even if they put no effort in.

We bought and filled out asmany cards as we could afford tosend to New York.

PASADENA, CALIFORNIA

The Van Is Back-Jeff "Larry" Flint, the new ASCIT upperc ass Director-at-Large presents the freshly repaired ASCIT van. The van is available to ASCITmembers who have good driving reputations. For information, or to reserve the van, contact Flint at Syndicate Alley (room 110, x3774).

is needed to endow a professorshipat Caltech.

The Haymans' previous gifts tothe Institute were the Richard L.and Dorothy M. Hayman Pro­fessorship in Mechanical Engineer­ing held by Frank E. Marble, andthe Hayman Lounge in Caltech'sAthenaeum, in memory of Mr.Hayman's brother, Earl S.Hayman, a 1924 Caltech graduate.The Haymans have also contri­buted generously to the CaltechAlumni Fund, The Caltech Associ­ates, and the Summer Undergrad­uate Research Fellowship (SURF)program.

Hayman, who studied mechan­ical engineering at Caltech, workedat Lockheed from 1936 to 1945before founding his own company,Haskel, Inc. (Burbank, California),which produces compressed air(and gas) driven pumps, and spe­cial purpose valves, and metalflange seals for general industryand defense. He is also chairmanof Haskel Energy Systems, Ltd., inEngland, a foreign subsidiary of hiscompany.

Mr. and Mrs. Hayman are ac­tive members of The Associates, aCaltech support group. They arecontributing Life Members andmembers· of the President's CCir­cle. Mr. Hayman has just com­pleted a two-year term as presidentof The Associates. He is also amember of the Caltech AlumniAssociation.

it could have been done for $28 inschool. If anyone has questions,they can contact me, Steve Gomez,at x3762. I will try to answer your

NUMBER 20VOLUME LXXXVIII

Haymans of FlintridgeDonate New Chair

BudgetMeetingThe budget meeting for the

'87-'88 fiscal year is scheduled at7:00PM next Tuesday, March 10thin the Millikan Board Room. Allclubs and organizations should pickup a budget request form from ThuLe, Ruddock House, and returnthem by 5:00 pm. today. Pleasemail them to Thu Le, mail code1-55. No extensions granted.

[CNB] - Caltech has received a giftfrom Mr. and Mrs. Richard L.Hayman of Flintridge to establishthe Dotty and Dick Hayman Pro­fessorship of Engineering.

Caltech President Marvin L.Goldberger said that one ofCaltech's most eminent professorswill be selected to hold the endow­ed chair. "Professorships areamong the most important gifts ourfriends can contribute, since theyenable us to recognize outstandingfaculty as well as providing vitalendowment funds that strengthenCaltech's financial base. We aredeeply grateful to Dick and DottyHayman for their foresight andgenerosity." A gift of $1.5 million

Optional Dental Plan Coming toInstitute; Local Dentists Available

by Steve GomezStarting first term next year (or

third term this year if details areworked out soon enough), allCaltech undergraduate and gradu­ate students will be eligible to signup for the Safeguard Prepaid Den­tal Program. The plan is optional,but is such a deal that those alreadyinsured should take advantage of it.It costs $34 a year for an eligiblemember, and $68/year for amember and one dependent.

Once signed up, the memberchooses a local dentist who belongsto the program. There are threedental offices, with a total of eightdentists, that belong to the programand are close to Caltech. Freebenefits of the program includecleaning once every six months,oral examinations and diagnosis,

.office visits, full-mouth X-rays,and preventative dental education.Other services and treatments willrequire co-payment, includingtopical fluoride treatments ($5.00),emergency treatment ($15.00),broken appointment change (i.e.,less than 24 hours notice-$1O.(0),fillings (ranging from $10-$25depending on the number of teethinvolved), extractions ($25-$55plus $20 anesthesia, depending onthe condition of the teeth), etc.

For those already covered bysome dental insurance, your pre­sent insurance should pick up thecost of the co-payment dependingon the type of insurance you carry.The best idea is to take care of yourdental problems while in schoolnow (when the insurance planstarts) while it is dirt cheap. Youmight not appreciate paying $160to have a tooth remoyed later when

1987FRI DAY 6 MARCH2THE CALIFORNIA TECH

11---------0PI N10N------1

CAPfAINS OF INDUSTRYDavid GoldreichGavin Claypool

PRODUCTION VASSALSNick Smith • Glenn Tesler

PEON AMONG TIlE RANK AND Ii1LEJay Lieske

ILLUSTRIOUS POTENTATESKen Haynes • Michael Keating

Jennifer LowENTERTAINMENT DEMIURGE

Jens Peter AlfkePHOTO DEMIURGE

Joey FrancisSPORTS DEMIURGE

Steve BardANNOUNCEMENTS EXARCH

Josh KurutzDAEMONS

Huy Cao • Steve GomezRob Grothe. John Haba

Amanda Heaton. Maneesh JainMark D. Looper. Kevin Nelson

Glenn Tesler • Marty ZimmermanPHOTO LIEGEMEN

Shubber Ali • Steve BardJoey Francis • Glenn Tesler

BRAHMANSandip Biswal

TIlE INSIDE WORLDBlacker: Alex Wei

Dabney: Al PettersonFleming: Ed Zanelli

Lloyd: Keith Owens, Brian Pattersonand John Wiltse

Page: James Ibbeisonand Dean Wilber

Ricketts: Lisa LePomeand Gary Ludlam

Ruddock: Betsy Andrews

Volume LXXXVIII • Number 206 March 1987

THE CALIFORNIA TECH

may have the honor system andcommunity in mind while tryingsuch cases. Do they realize the im­pact they have on the student'sfuture when they pass judgmentand reprimand the offender withforced leave or expulsion?

The Caltech community mayunderstand well enough, but willthe rest of the world understandthat taking "unfair advantage" (andits interpretations) of others is sucha disastrous wrong?

The BOC allows us to live witheach other as we do but it may, inits zeal for justice, ignore the morebasic realities of life. -J.L.

The editorship feels that with sucha major controversy on hand, wetoo should make our own com­ments concerning the BOC.

As a part of the student govern­ment system the BOC allows us asstudents to playa major role in ourcommunity. We govern ourselvesand we interpret and suggestreprimands for our peers. Thehonor system and its enforcementby the BOC give us freedom anda maturity found on few campuses.

However, we may be inex­perienced with the power andresponsibility that goes with sucha position. The Board of Control

idea is ludicrous. Therefore, itmust be construed that the recom­mendation was made not uponevents which occurred in the past,but rather upon the BOC's estima­tion of what Chris mightor mightnot do in the future. In effect, ChrisEdgington is being sentenced forcrimes not committed, for advan­tages not taken- he has beenjudged to be guilty in the future, anincorrigible violator. This decisionwas not based upon a prior record,but upon the collective opinion ofthe BOC of Chris's character as ahuman being. I do not believe thatthis type of judgment belongs atCaltech or even within the confinesof a free society. In some respectsit is reminiscent of McCarthyism.Civil liberties are certainly beingviolated.

However, descriptive name­calling' and angry flailing will notbring a resolution of positive valueto this subject. It istime we takea serious look at the society wehave created and work together tobetter it for all. I invite all whohave constructive comments aboutthis subject to express them to thecommunity, especially those whohave served or are presently serv-

continued on page 3

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value to Lloyd. However, theBOC's decision in no way, shape,or form compensated Lloyd for thevalue of its loss of furniture for thistime period - although rents werepaid, no wear and tear chargeswere assessed, and no public ser­vice to Lloyd was recommended.Instead, Lloyd got back some us­ed furniture and the three offenderswere handed recommendations tohopefully prevent future violationsby them. I am afraid that the rela­tionship between the advantagetaken and recommendations givenis not unlike that between applesand oranges.

The second fundamental ques­tion, the basis upon which mem­bers of our community should bejudged by the BOC, merits muchthought and rational discussionamong us. No one believes for a in­stant that Chris Edgington was re­commended for expulsion becausehe stole a couch from Lloyd-this

• • • • • • • • • •• • • • • • • • • • • •cases. Shubber and Thor were notquestioned as extensively alongthese lines.

7) After long deliberations, theBOC made the following recom­mendations: Thor and Shubbershould be put on probation; ChrisEdgington should be expelled fromschool.

8) Chris was told that the re­commendation in his case wasbased upon the BOC's interpreta­tion of his attitude toward the honorsystem- the BOC felt that his con­tinued presence would be a threatto the Caltech community under therules of the honor system.

9) The final verdict is awaitingthe Dean's decision.

The events outlined above bringtwo fundamental questions to mymind: Is the BOC's primary func­tion, that of nullification ofadvan­tage, being properly served here,and should the BOC's decisions bebased upon past events or futureexpectations?

If the BOC's primary functionis to nullify advantage, and I amunder the impression that this is so,I do not believe that the recommen­dations handed down by the BOCare justified. In this case, the threefreshmen took advantage of themembers of Lloyd House by de­priving them of their couches foran extended time period. This ob­viously was worth something of

1) The two freshmen Thor andChris stole a couch from LloydHouse first term and kept it in theirroom for several weeks.

2) Early second term Thor andChris took another couch fromLloyd and then Shubber and Thortook a third couch.

3) At this point Lloyd realizedwhat was going on and demandedreturn of the couches. The coucheswere returned and Lloyd decidedto bring the matter before the BOCvia the usual channels.

4) For reasons unknown thehearing was delayed until approx­imately one week ago, at whichtime the three freshmen were ques­tioned separately in a rotatingfashion (first one, second one, thirdone, first one, etc.)

5) All three were questionedextensively upon the issues sur­rounding the stealing of thecouches.

6) Chris Edgington was ques­tioned extensively upon his under­standing of the honor system. Hisquestioning included hypothetical

Frosh In PICK THE Thoughts About BOCTrouble @To the Editors:

By now, most of the undergrad­uates of Caltech are at leastsomewhat aware of the recent ac­tions of the BOC concerning thethree freshmen Shubber Ali, ThorClark, and Chris Edgington, (whohave all initiated public discussionof their cases per article VII, sec­tion 2.(i) of the ASCIT By-Laws).Also by now there has been muchspreading of information and mis- -;0

information and discussion, both .~constructive and not so construc- ~tive, between the students. My pur- :0pose here is to consolidate what is ~known about the facts in general Eand to express my sentiments as to c:

what appears to be a serious error .~in judgment. Unfortunately, public ~

information is quite limited in these ~matters. It is sadly ironic that thetruth is so hard to find in a place

. where it is supposed to set one free.As with most aspects of life, onemust make do with what is avail­able and make the best judgmentbased upon those facts.

Here is a short summary ofwhat is public knowledge at thistime:

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TIlE CALIFORNIA TECH107-51 Winnett Student Center

California Institute of TechnologyPasadena, California 91125

Phone: [818] 356-6154

Published weekly except during ex­amination and vacation periods by theAssociated Students of the CaliforniaInstitute of Technology, Inc. (butprimarily by the Editors). The opin­ions expressed herein are strictlythose of the authors and do notnecessarily reflect those of theEditors.Letters and announcements arewelcome. All contributions should in­elude the author's name and phonenumber and the intended date ofpublication. The Editors reserve theright to abridge and edit letters for ex­pediency, literacy, or for any otherdamn reason they feel like. So there.Turn in copy (preferably on an ffiM­compatible, WordStar-formattedfloppy disk) to the Tech officemailbox, room 107 Winnett. Thedeadline for copy is Wednesday at5PM; for announcements, Tuesday at5PM. Late copy may not be printedunless prior arrangements have beenmade with the editors.Subscription requests should be directed to the atten­tion of the business manager. Rates are $3.00 per tenn,$8.00 per annum (three terms), $100 per life (manyterms).

Printed by News-Type Service, Glendale, California

ISSN 0008-1582

TH E CALI FORN IA TECH FRIDAY 6 MARCH 19873

1------OPINION--------,--3

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ly illogical decision. You mighthave endorsed a petition whichwould prevent the BOC from mak­ing such a decision. I ask you toreconsider, and to objectively thinkabout what I have to say.

The students on the BOC havedifficult decisions to make, andprobably do not make them lightlyor without considering all of thefacts. Consequently, when theymake a decision which is obvious­ly harsher than the supposed infrac­tion, I submit that they are basingtheir decision on additional infor­mation of which we are not aware.

I would like to point out that theBOC is merely an advisory com­mittee which submits its recom­mendations to the Dean, whomakes the final decision. Youmight say, "But the Dean justrubber-stamps the BOe's decisionsanyway." I present instead the pro­bability that the BOC makes re­commendations which are for themost part fair, and need not bealtered by the Dean. And even ifthis in not the case, do you thinkthat the Dean would just "rubber­stamp" the very serious recommen­dation of suspension or expulsion,especially if it seemed way out ofproportion to the offense commit­ted? I think that the Dean wouldconsider such a recommendationvery seriously, and would consultwith others if he had any doubts inthe matter.

Even if the Dean approves theBOe's recommendation, the affect­ed party can appeal his case for­mally to the Grievance Committee,and informally to the Vice Presi­dent of Student Affairs, the Pro­vost, and the President. I think itis very unlikely that a truly unfairdecision which could affect a per­son so much would make it past allof these checks and balances.

With these facts in mind, I thinkthat the BOC would not, even ifonly for its own interest, submit arecommendation which it did nottruly believe was justifiable andproportional to the offensecommitted.

Arbitrarily restricting thecapabilities of the BOC is un­necessary and unwarranted, espe­cially if the decision is being madewithout knowledge of all of thefacts. Putting limitations on thereasons for suspension and expul­sion is not only inappropriate, butcould prevent the BOC from tak­ing such an action in a situationwhich cannot be foreseen. Thereare ample safety checks in the sys­tem; let's not overreact out of ig­norance of the facts. If there is adecision to be made, it should becarefully thought out after all thedetails are known.

David LipinPresident, Ricketts House

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To the Editors:One of the greatest benefits of asociety such as ours is that peoplecan participate in the decisions ofthe government. But it is not al­ways practical or advisable foreveryone to be involved with cer­tain decisions, such as nationaldefense, or whether or not a per­son is guilty of a certain offenseand what his punishment should be.So we select a group of people tolearn the facts and make the deci­sions for us. Often the decisionswhich these people make are un­popular or seem illogical. But it isfoolish for us to react every timeby passing a law preventing themfrom making such a decision. Wemust acknowledge the fact that inmany cases we probably do notknow all of the relevant informa­tion and therefore cannot make aninformed decision.

I would like to extend this intoan analogy of our student body andthe function of the BOC. There arereasons why honor system viola­tions are not brought before the en­tire student body, and it is theBOe's duty to represent us in thesecases.

Many of you were recently pre­sented with one side of such a case,in which the BOC made a seeming-

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may not be completely without . repeat offenders, or certain otherbias; in other words, the Dean may kinds of violators, I do not believebe unwittingly basing his decision that students will abide by the BOCon a recommendation that he statement that one should turn inassumed, out of past experience one's friends without first givingwith the BOC, was merited. Even them the chance to correct theirif a student appeals the BOC's own digressions. Or, on the evenrecommendation, the Dean does more absurd end of the violationnot have access to the unedited ver- spectrum, what should you do ifsion of the minutes of the case, and you know that someone is usingtherefore can only base his decision another student's soap in theon his conversations with both the shower without that student's per­BOC chairman and the student in- mission. Should you first tell thevolved. The lack of access to the victimized student and let her solveminutes by anybody other than the the problem on her own, or shouldBOC hinders the possibility of the you immediately turn the violatorDean to make a decision based on in to the BOC? One can instantlyall of the facts presented at the recognize the foolishness in doinghearing; unless he conducts his such a thing, but as the board hasown formal investigation, he is stated it, the letter of the law mustrelying mainly on what he hears. be obeyed. This system of inform­Even the accused student may not ing on everybody else for even theknow specifically why he or she smallest thing is reminiscent ofmay be recommended for a certain another system that was eventual­punishment, because the BOC ly similar to this. It existed in Ger­never informed him or her of the many in the 1930's and 40's andspecific violation. How, too, can even involved children informingthe BOC make a decision to recom- on their own families. Manymend a student for expulsion or students, including myself, con­forced leave on the basis of one sider Caltech to be a family. Inight's questioning? And, in such would seriously regret to seeing thean extreme case as expulsion or same thing happen here.forced leave, which usually results -Shubber Aliin the same outcome (Le., a student 1-57permanently leaving the Institute),should not the accused be allowedto at least be completely informedof the exact reasoning upon whichthe decision is based? That is cur­rently not the policy of the BOC.

Last, but certainly most impor­tantly, it appears the Honor Systemhas a flaw in it which is possiblythe source for the problems concer­ning the BOC. A hypothetical caseraised by the BOC was as follows:If you caught a close friend ofyours cheating on a test, whatwould you do? While the majorityof students I asked this answeredthat they would first ask the studentwhat caused him to do this, wouldhe cover it up, would he turnhimself in, would he do it again­and if the friend was not willing toturn himself in or planned to do itagain, then the student would turnhim in - the BOC believes that thestudent is not a liberty to make thedecision to question their friend.Instead, they should immediatelyturn in their friend - in fact, theyshould actually turn in any violatorof the Honor System, no matter thecrime, because that is why theBOC was created - to deal withviolators.

While I can agree with theirstatement in regards to vandals, or

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else and will therefore use extremecare when trying possible violatorsof the system? How, too, will suchindividuals be able to keep per­sonal, or even house, bias fromentering in their decision concern­ing a student violation of the code?It is possible that the schism bet­ween the personalities of the in­dividual houses reflects on therepresentatives of such houses; isit not therefore possible, or evenprobable that a BOC vote could bebiased for or against a studentdepending on which house he isfrom, and how the differentrepresentatives feel about thathouse, or more importantly, aboutthat student? As any intelligent per­son realizes, it is impossible tokeep even the smallest amount ofpersonal bias, good or bad, fromentering into one's hopefully objec­tive decision.

A possible solution to this pro­blem is to change the procedure forthe picking of representatives forthe BOC. Instead of each househaving one representative, wouldn'tit be better to have the entire stu­dent body determine who shouldrepresent it at the BOC? Thiswould actually increase thepossibility of getting more qualifiedpeople on the BOC, because an in­terested student would have abet­ter chance of being elected if hewas running for one of seven spots,as opposed to running for simplyone spot. It would also generatemore interest in the BOC becausestudents would be concerned abouthaving too many people from onehouse in control of the board.

A second, more important issueis the amount of power the BOCcurrently wields. Under currentpolicy, the BOC's actions, if any,take the form of recommendationsto the Dean of Students. The pro­ceedings of the BOC are kept underlock and key and are available on­ly to the BOe. The administrationhas no access to these records (lit­tle t, 86-87). On the surface, thisseems to present no problems, butwhen. one looks more closely at justwhat this means in terms of checksand balances, one realizes thatthere is a serious imbalance caus­ed by this. Although it is true thatthe BOC only makes a recommen­dation to the Dean, it is a matterof Institute history that the Deanrespects and usually abides by thedecision of the BOC. This, initself, is fine. The problem ariseswhen one realizes that the BOCthat is making the recommendation

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ing on the BOC. In general, I be­lieve a better informed communi­ty will cooperate better and makebetter decisions. Hopefully, thetruth will set us free in the end afterall.

ControlQuestionedTo the Editors,

Recently, certain actions of theBoard of Control (BOC) have leda number of students to questionthe the amount of power which hasbeen delegated to the BOC, andwhether new guidelines governingthe procedure and actions of theBOC should be instituted.

The Board of Control wasoriginally created to maintain theintegrity of the Honor System atCaltech. It was endowed with cer­tain powers in order to help it dojust that. The BOC was (and is)composed of nine voting members­one representative from eachhouse, and two reps at large- aswell as a chairman and secretary.These representatives were to beelected by the student body on thequalification that they had the In­stitute's best interests in mind, andwould uphold the Honor System.At least, this was the originaltheory upon which the formation ofthe BOC was based. Since its crea­tion, though, students and facultyhave come to question just howbeneficial the existence of theBOC, in its present form, is.

The first problem with themodern day BOC is actually caus­ed by the students themselves. Therepresentatives from certain houseshave sometimes become reps onlybecause nobody was willing to runfor the job, and only after beingasked did someone finally agree todo it. This brings forth an impor­tant question: do such represen­tatives really have the upholding ofthe Honor System as their mainmotivation, or do they just considerbeing a BOC rep just another jobthey have to do, without consider­ing the full implications of whatthey are getting into? Also, if sucha 'representative' doesn't reallyrepresent the opinions of the housewhich elected him, how can sucha person be considered as a part ofa group ofour peers who have beenselected on the basis that they willhold the Honor System above all

OPINION4TH E CALI FORN IA TECH

It---FRI DAY 6 MARCH 1987

The Inside WorldArms Talk.DeceptiveTo the Editors:

State department representativeMike Stafford's talk here (the Tech,27 February) was accurate andprecise, but completely obscuredthe basic facts-that the Reagan ad­ministration has no interest in armscontrol.

Stafford painted a picture of ad­ministration negotiatiors makinggreat progress towards an armscontrol agreement, coming muchcloser to an agreement than we hadbeen two years ago. However, witharms control you either have anagreement, or you don't. Closecounts in nuclear weapons, but itdoesn't in nuclear arms treaties.And all Stafford's talk is worthlessif there is no treaty to back it up.What Stafford didn't talk about isthat his direct boss-chief U.S.negotiator Fred Nitze - has con­sistently opposed every arms con­trol agreement ever sighed. Sowhen Stafford and Nitze say theyare "close," why should we believethat they ever intend to cross thefinish line?

Stafford claims that we are"closer" to an agreement becausethe U.S.S.R. had dropped its de­mand that non-intercontinentaldelivery systems be included in the50 % reduction envisioned in theSTART talks. How close is anagreement if the Soviets absolute­ly refuse to limit their intercon­tinental offensive weapons as longas the U.S. refuses to limit StarWars, and the Reagan administra­tion refuses to limit Star Wars? Notclose.

Stafford claims that the reasonnegotiations for a comprehensivetest ban haven't started are becauseof disagreement over the name ofthe negotiations. How close is acomprehensive test ban if it isReagan administration policy thata verifiable test ban is notdesirable? How close is a com­prehensive test ban if the Reaganadministration claims it would on­ly agree to a CTB after drasticreductions in nuclear forces? Notclose: Finally, how close is RonaldReagan to being within the law, ifthe limited test ban treaty of1963 - rattified by the Senate andhence the law of the land - statesthat the signers "seek to achieve thediscontinuance of all test explo-

Stafford claimed that "Salt IIwould have allowed doubling ofcurrent levels of weaponry, andtook an inordinate amount of timeto negotiate." What would havehappened without Salt II? Triplingof weaponry? Quadrupling of wea­ponry? Now that the Reagan ad­ministration has broken the Salt IIlimits that both sides had abidedby, we may have a chance to findout. Is there any doubt that the daythe U.S. broke the limit, somegeneral in the Soviet military wentto Gorbachev and claimed that theonly appropriate Soviet responsecould be a buildup in offensivesystems? And what twists of logicare required to conclude thatbecause a treaty took a long timeto negotiate, we should abrogate it?

Stafford's talk was a public rela­tions move by an administrationthat gives lip service to arms con­trol in order to appease the publicand make sure that the Congressdoes not see the light and act on itsown. I think it is very clear that theadministration's negotiating posturein Geneva is not designed to pro­duce any sort of agreement. Rea­gan has appointed men to negotiatewho have been on record for over25 years as opposing arms control

agreements ot any kind with theSoviet Union.

It will be interesting to see theadministration's reaction to Gor­bachev's latest proposal to removemedium range missiles from Eu­rope: an idea that seems identicalto the much touted "zero-option"that Reagan advocated severalyears ago. As usual the first state­ments have been of the "take acloser look" and "what about verifi­cation" type.

-Ann Terese Hei!206-41

Grad Student, ChE

DefensePolls OutTo the Editors:

A "Caltech Poll on Defense Is­sues" has been circulated to 600Caltech students. The poll has beenput together by members of the So­cial Science department (mostlyme) with input from other studentsto try to measure how much stu­dents here know about certaindefense issues, and what they thinkabout them. Despite assurances ofanonymity (and the offering ofprizes) we have only receivedresponses from about 400 people.We've also received many com­plaints of being "unscientific". Wewill be happy to discuss these com­plaints (many people have raisedvalid points) after we get all of thepolls back. However, nothing willmake our responses more "unscien­tific" than if we only get back pollsfrom some of the people we mailedthem to: specifically, only pollsfrom the people who care about, orhave thought about, the questionsbeing asked. That's why we wouldlike the remaining 200 or so peo­ple who have received polls toplease return them. Our sense isthat many people are not returningthe poll because respondents areasked to put their name on the poll.The only reason for the name is sothat we know who has not return­ed the poll, and can try and trackthem down. When we get the pollswe rip the names from the re­sponses (and use the names to drawfor prizes). If for some reason thisdoes not offer you quite enoughsecurity, please rip the name offyourself, and send it and the com­pleted poll in separate envelopes.If a reasonable number of the 200outstanding respondents do this,your anonymity will be assured. Ifeven this is not good enough,please send in the poll without aname on it. And if you simply don'twant to answer the poll, please letus know so that we do not houndyou any further for a response.Any questions can be directed tome (Jonathan Nagler) at x4699, inBaxter, Room 350, or mail code228 - 77. When all the results arein and tabulated, they'll be writtenup in the Tech.

-Jonathan NaglerGrad Student, Social Science

ESQUIRE2670 E. Colorado Blvd.

(818) 793-6149

---------------------8 Oscar Nominations

ROOM WITH A VIEWplus

2 Oscar Nominations

ROUND MIDNIGHT

To the Editors:In her letter [California Tech,

27 February 1987] attempting toportray the Sandanistas as thedefenders of democracy in CentralAmerica, Ann Terese Heil men­tions as a side point that thePopular Front for the Liberationfor Palestine [PFLP] "simply wantsto negotiate with our friend Israelto get a place to live." In the future,Ms. Heil would be well advised tofind out the facts before making apublic display of her ignorance.

The PFLP is perhaps the mostradical terrorist group associatedwith the Palestine LiberationOrganization [PLO]. They haveproudly claimed responsibility fornumerous acts of terrorism againstcivilians around the world, in­cluding the 1970 mid-air explosionof a Swissair jetliner that killed 47passengers and crew members.

Dr. George Habash, leader ofthe PFLP said, "There is a mini­mal Palestinian national position.This minimum is the rejection ofany recognition of the Zionist en­tity ... our rejection of any settle­ment based on the continued ex­istence of this foreign entity." Thisdoes not sound like an appeal fornegotiations as Ms. Heil wouldhave us believe.

- David Goldreich1-55

Illustration·Plagiarism?To the Editors:

I noticed a very distinct simila­rity between the drawing by San­dip Biswal on the first page of lastweek's Tech ("America's CupFever") and a drawing by WarrenMiller on page 25 of the 19 Januaryissue of The New Yorker. In fact,this seems to be a case of blatantplagiarism. I hope steps are takento correct this problem.

-David NiceRicketts House

You're wrong. It wasnl blatant.Biswal drew a rendition ofa car­toon which Dr. Clauser presentedin his slide show. We thank Mr.Nice for identifying the original.

Ed Finds a Date-Ed Z. finally scoreson the night of Wine and Candlelight.His date remains anonymous.

COLORADO2588 E. Colorado Blvd.

(818) 796-9704---------------------

7 Oscar NominationsWoody Allen's

HANNAH ANDHER SISTERS

Blacker: This week is Yuppie Week. For Yuppies, every week is Yuppie Week.Yuppies try to concentrate on the qualities that distinguish them as Yuppies duringYuppie Week. One of these qualities is to talk about yourself and things that are im­portant to you. So this week I'm going to talk about myself.

Fri., 2/27. My birthday. It seems like everyone's birthday is in February. We allgo out to Edokko and pig out on sushi. We also go to the TACIT play. It was verygood, but I got scared when Lisa LePome started taking off her clothes on stage. Wego back and open my presents. A 1O-cup coffee machine, a bag of Java Estate, Dr.Ruth's Guide to Good Sex, and the GQ 1987 Desk Diary. Tracey and Irene also bakeda Happy Dick cake for me and Tim, and we played Zar till late late. Thank you,everyone.

Sat., 2/28, Tim's birthday, officially. February is over. I trolled. Tim slept. Later,Ed Zanelli comes by all dressed up and takes Irene away. I never saw them come back.I really respect Ed for the way he dresses. I wish I could dress like that.

Sun., 3/1. More trolling. Chris Hurwitz makes a fool of himself in Vatican. Timand I debate on the effects of Blacker House's gradual takeover by Yuppies. Tim decidesto form YEC (Yuppie Extermination Corps) and insults me by calling me a preppie.I make a note to put Tim on my hit list in my new GQ Desk Diary. Later that nightme and other Yuppies meet in the Midnite Cafe and discuss the rising cost of coffeepastries, among other things.

Mon., 3/2. I'm not feeling well, probably because I drank too much coffee thispast week. My sensitivity to light and noise amplified many times. I go to sleep early,but someone wakes me up. I try taking something to help me go to sleep but end upfalling on the floor and hallucinating.

Tues" 3/3. I feel much better. People in Vatican report hearing me talk in mysleep, like "No, no, come back." I recall dreaming about someone packing her suit­case and leaving, but I don't remember any faces. That evening two things happened:the Black Hand came and took away some bad frosh, and then Lloydies came andshowered Moles. I don't know why. I decided to protect Chris Chu and asked themto do their showering in Cannes. Chris and I reminisced about family life. Mark putin another 3 hours of computer work. We now have 17 hours total for this pay period.

Wed., 3/4. Scott does his annual cleaning and burning right before lunch. I thinkScott is a funny boy. People attack me as I sun myself on the courtyard couch andthrow french fries at me. Tracey decides to ignore my attempts to serenade her. I decideto skip Ch 21 today because it is too nice to sit in class. I trip on my way over tothe Tech office.

-ArexDabney: Picture-

the future, ca. 2010 A.D.We drive up to the gate. A sign proclaims (in large, friendly letters):

WELCOME TO DABNIFARMS™ WORLD HEADQUARTERS!And also (in slightly smaller and rather unfriendly letters):

Please have your identification ready.And also (in letters that are even smaller still, but which return to the level of con­

geniality set by the first line):"EVERYTHING'S BETTER WHEN IT'S GROWN BY A DARB™!''

And finally (in positively tiny, menacingly neutral letters lurking in the lower leftcorner):

"We:re DabniCorpTJl:"

The checkpoint looms ahead. Turbines whine as our driver brings our luxurious2008 Cornf-E-Ryder™ to a halt. The driver collects our Personal Registry-issue UniversalIDs and our Temporary Restricted DabniCorp passes, lowers the window, and handsthem to the machine waiting outside. There is a short pause as the Personal Informa­tion files in Geneva are accessed, another as the machine scans our faces, and thenour plastic souls are handed back to us. As the steel barrier in front of us slides back,we catch a glimpse of an expressionless sentry shouldering a pulsed plasma rifle andone of the newest products of DabniGene'sTM canine laboratories passing us withouta glance. Our driver revs the turbines and we glide out of the checkpoint.

We proceed slowly down the well-maintained plascrete roadway, silently marvell­ing as the huge compound unfolds before us. We pass imposing irrigation stations,many complicated machines of obscure purpose, and, above all, green-wherever welook-green.

Up ahead, a building is fast approaching. It is built in the pseudo-modem stylethat has almost become the trademark of dei Construction, Inc. As we pull up, a mansteps out.

"Hi," he says as we step out of the car. "Name's Russell May. But just call meRuss." We slowly look him over. His disaffecting manner barely even hints at theawesome power he commands as general manager of DabniFarms, Inc. He extendsa hand in the age-old ritual of welcome, while taking a large bite out of the apple inthe other hand. The apple is held calmally, almost covering the carefully-engineeredletters reading "dei". He is also wearing a rather ugly tie tack.

Hands are shaken all around as we introduce ourselves. Then, almost offhandedly,the questions start. "Just what do you grow at this site, Mr. Ma-ah, Russ?"

"Okra," he replies."Okra?" one of us repeats."Yes, okra," he says, "It's a fine crop. This entire site is dedicated to okra.""Hmmf," another of us says, "Too bad I don't like okra."We stiffen in shock, mentally clawing the air as if to recall the damning words.May's eyes widen in revelation."You dirty pigs! You're from FEIF Industries, aren't you? Confess! Confess!!f'We say nothing. His eyes narrow. "Very well," he says softly. "You've forced my

hand. Jenkins-"A hulking block of a man appea{s."Play the Vogon poetry for these nice people." He purses his lips. "In the comfy

chairs." .-Name

Fleming: Last Saturday was Wine and Candlelight and as usual master chef MarkEggleston did an outstanding job. The rest of the crew was great too, especially Jim"Dish Pan Hands" Burleigh. Anyway, somebody did actually end up sitting next toDaniels, but it wasn't me. There were lots of drunk people, and, surprisingly enough,lots of people acting drunk. Sarapata thought he and Donna came together but shewas only faking it. continued on page 5

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More Inside Worldfrom page 4

On Sunday, the well-hung, God-awesome Fleming basketball team beat the lame,limp-dick Lloydies in strong fashion to set up this week's softball showdown with theSpuds. Especially impn,ssive was Brian Calder's around-the-back, through-the-legs,in-the-gym-shorts-and-out, double pump reverse slam, or maybe it was a layup, toseal the victory.

Volleyball is going as expected, with the Big Red Machine coasting to an inevitablefirst place finish.

This Saturday is another bob-bitchin' party with the Moles & Rudds. Jim sez, "Ipromise to get you drunk or laid." Don'! drink, then wait in Jim's room (44) for somegreat action (must be over 13 years of age).

Watch your attitude, because the BOC is watching you.-Boy Wonder

Lloyd: Ya know, in days of old when a Techer got finished with his homework andfound himself with time on his hands he might go to a movie with his or her pals orseek the opposite sex at another college, or perhaps do something worthy enough tobe printed years later in that fine novel, Legends of Caltech. But sadly, these daysare behind us. Now ya know what he does? That's right, heads straight for the Geekboxroom and punches up "Hack."

It is this epidemic problem which has prompted us to follow the example of theAmerican Lung Association's "National Smokeout Week" with our own "NationalGeekout Week." We thus offer up this challenge to Techers everywhere: Just go fromSunday March 8 to Saturday March 14 without playing ONE SINGLE COMPUTERGAME. Come on, it won't be that hard. It's only a week. And as inspiration, Lloydwill serve as a "Model House" during the week.

To further promote National Geekout Week we also suggest you leave the calculatorwatch in your room for this week, not ask ridiculous questions in class, not look likean idiot by taping your pink slips to the door, and if anyone out there (God help you)still has thick glasses fixed with tape, Get Contacts!!

Well, you get the idea. Instead of wasting your life at Rogue, why not drop bythe bar and try our fine Drink 0' the Week, which this week is the AntiChrist. Onepart Vodka, one part Gin, and one part Creme de Cacao. Now isn't that more excitingthan killing a Demon on level 42?

Remember ... if you can do without it for a week, you can do without it forever.-Skeeter & Jethro

Ruddock: Stardom went straight to Betsy's head (and Betsy went straight to Mike'shead), so she thinks that she's too good to write the Inside World now. However, shestill finds time to go to the pantry three or four times a week. Anyway, if you missedher performance as a showgirl in the play, just wait for the movie. Speaking of movies,I understand that the movie of the week is Purple Rain.

The Lloydies had a fun Friday of sitting on toilets without seats. But the questionis: How many Lloydies does it take to shower one Rudd girl? The world may neverknow, because they couldn't. They dickmunchingly retaliated with an all expense paidtrip to the beach for Wayne, but why does it take three carloads of Lloydies to oceanone Rudd? The enraged mov retaliated by thrashing Lloyd House and supplying Flemingand Dabney with some new furniture. We tried three times to get the Lloydies to play,but they didn't want to, so we wasted them anyway. By the way, why were you runn­ing away, Haba?

I went to a Siamese cat show l~st weekend, and guess how many Rudds I saw.Shall I name names? But of course! Let's see, there was Chaji, Shu, Vic'n Dave, George,Pink Lloyd, and Nik "the Quick, but not with the Dick." By the way, Joe, did youget your wineglasses back? I just wanted to make sure, since I heard that Nik hastilybailed to San Diego.

Quote of the week: Charles Tsai says, "I don't want to say anything bad about Thubecause she'll get all her little friends to beat me up." But Charles, we wouldn't saythat Eddie's all that little, but then he'd be too "busy" to come beat you up. Speakingof Eddie, he's the lead singer for the new group P.W.D. with their smash single "Tiedto the Whipping Post." Band members iclude guitarist Mikey "Can't Pull No Bitches"Warren and Eric "The Rod" Scharin, bassist and backup singer Ed "Ho}\' Nice, GotMy Balls in a Vice" Callaway, and on percussion, that mad -Hawaiian John "ReachOut and Touch Someone but Get the Receiver Out of Your Pants" Kubodera.

On a more moderate level, congratulations to Ed Mao, the newest Rudd Ath Man.Upcoming events: Frosh Party with Blacker and Fleming Saturday at 8:09 in the court­yard. Things to watch for: Can Z keep his feet to himself on the dance floor? Willit be Wayne or Hungse with a date? Then it's softball with the Phlegms bright andearly Sunday morning, and Interhouse volleyball on Monday, Tuesday, and Thurs­day. Also, look out for the soon-to-be-released swimsuit edition of the BFD.

Dabney Drink of the Week: Kool-Aid.- Bets the Thespian

(but of course)

18

Grayson18th Annual Classical Keyboard Improvisation

and Live Electronic Music Concert

Richard Grayson, PianistClark Spangler, Guest SynthesiFriday, March 6, 19878:15 p.m., Thorne HallOccidental CollegeGeneral $5.00Students $2.00Information:(213) 259-2737

-Bruce

Page: In the interest of public safety and for OUT own personal satisfaction, the A.B.F.L. (Anti-Butt _king League) has fonned a coali­tion with the Brotherhood of Whitenoses. As a result, the members of Lower Arlington are pleased to announce that nol only is thealley a non-rear-entry zone, but is also now (metaphorically speaking) a 100% brown-Rose-free zone, apparently the first on campus.The alley management wishes to extend its severe apologies to Laura H., R.A.C., Dabney. at least three-quarters of the SOC, Bill Crossand.Kenny H?meman. Brain Damage (see what~ns when you bu-fu), and any anyone else who feels blatantly and purposely discriminatedagalOst. PartIcular condolences to Shubber Ah, who unfortunately seems to be a brown-nose by birth. That's life kiddies.

This week's A.8.F.L. "~hauvinistof the Week" award goes to Quantum for his continued harassment of Cheesedip. Keep up thegood work, brother. The Big Dick (see Lloyd for details) is watching YOU.

Theme for the week: Don't take me seriously. fm not worth it.

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6THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 6 MARCH 1987

location

Baxter Lecture Hall125 Baxter125 Baxter25 Baxter

Actually, Shapes is pretty goodfor what it is, a horror novel aim­ed at people that expect schlock. Itreads well (if you don't ask toomany questions about the motiva­tions of the human characters), andreally would make a pretty goodhorror movie. By the end of thebook, the alien entity is almostsympathetic. I mean, if it weren'tfor all of those casualties he'd caus­ed, and his long-range plans ... no,I won't give those away, either.Suffice it to say that the goals ofthe alien are not just to eat his waythrough mankind.

Shapes is worth reading if youlike horror movies or especiallyparanoiac SF. (You know, the kindwhose premise is "The bad newsis - we are not alone in theuniverse.") If you're more into ALFand E. T., you won't like it.

Movie

The Good FightMacbeth (Orson Welles)The ShiningOne Flew Over the Cucoo's Nest

another genre of horror entirely, ina sequence that I remember fondlyas Alien Meets Jaws. At that pointwe learn that the alien entityfollows quite literally the concept,"You are what you eat." It canbecome a duplicate of anythingwhose DNA it has consumed, andto a great extent learn from the liv­ing brain (if any) of what it iseating.

As the book goes on, we findout that the entity is not entirely abad guy. He just wants to settledown, raise a family, and take overthe world. By that time, of course,he is at his most dangerous, hav­ing access to the dominantcharacteristics of a Great WhiteShark and an American an­thropologist. Of course, he doeshave a few weaknesses ... ah, butthat would be telling.

Class

H 131Lit 11Hum 103Psy 112

CALTECH MOVIE CALENDARDay Date Time

Mon. 3-9 7:30PMTue. 3-10 8-11 :OOAMTue. 3-10 7:30PMThu. 3-12 9-11 :OOAM

Shapesby Richard Delap and Walt LeeCharter Paperback, $3.95

As some of you may know,Caltech has turned out a few well­known science fiction writers(Larry Niven, L. SpraguedeCamp, David Brin) as well as afair number of lesser-known SFand fantasy writers. Some turnedto writing immediately, otherswaited many years. Well, anotherlong-lost Techer has popped up.

Walt Lee was an undergrad inthe early 1950's, reportedly aMole. Since that time he has work­ed in technical fields, but recently

Sensible WisdomMakes Good Quotes

I ENTERTAINMENT-----JHorror In Space Better SuitedFor Cinema Than Foolscap

by Nick Smith has turned his hand to writing. "Hey, wait a minute! That's notWith co-author Richard Delap right!" when something fails the(previously known as a reviewer of test of logic.SF material), Lee has turned out a In any case, Shapes is about agory piece of SF/horror called very dangerous extraterrestrial en­Shapes. tity that takes over and wrecks the

Shapes is not for the squeamish spaceship that had captured it as aor susceptible. If it were made in- biological specimen. The ship isto a movie, it would be heavily R- destroyed, leaving the creaturerated for violence of an especially hurtling through space. (Sounddisgusting type. In fact, it reads as familiar so far? Don't worry, it'sit if had been written to be made not that alien creature.) Theinto a movie. Its very style is creature, still in its specimen con­cinematic, complete with cuts and tainer, falls to a nearby cute littlefades that work better in a genre planet: Earth. Now.where the viewer is given no time The book then borrows fromto ask questions. This does notwork as well in a book, since thereader has time to sit back and say,

by Huy CaoUncommon Sense: The World'sFullest Compendium of WisdomJoseph TelushkinShapolsky Publishers, 1987

If you think that what manypeople call "common sense" isn't sosensible, then you'll like Telush­kin's Uncommon Sense. This col­lection of quotes is unlike mostothers in that most of its quotes areprovocative and insightful, notboring.

The purpose of the book accor­ding to Telushkin is partly tochallenge common sense clicheswith what he believes is realwisdom. That's a big task to try toaccomplish, but I think he suc­ceeds. In addition to the lines thathe quotes, Telushkin's own com­mentary binds the quotes together.

The quotations are divided in­to four pretty profound categories:"Between Man and Man," "Be­tween Man and God," "BetweenMan and Himself," and "BetweenMan and the World."

Within each of those categoriesare further divisions. For example,within "Between Man and Man,"we find such topics as romanticlove, marriage and its discontents,men and women, truth and lies,evil, and insults.

On loving your enemies, Tel­ushkin quotes Confucius: Someoneasked Confucius, "What do youthink of repaying evil with kind­ness?" Confucius replied, "Thenwhat are you going to repay kind­ness with? Repay kindness withkindness but repay evil withjustice."

The "ultimate issues" about hu­mans are the main focus of thebook. Dwight Morrow's observa­tion, that "we judge ourselves byour motives and others by their ac­tions," is absolutely true I think.Arthur Schopenhauer opines some­what pessimistically that "the worldis hell, and men are on the onehand the tormented souls and onthe other the devils in it." Freud isfrank about what he thinks of peo­ple: "I think ... most men aretrash."

One of Telushkin's basic beliefsis that man is responsible for whathe does, good or bad. If he doessomething bad, he cannot blameGod or institutions. The conse­quences of this belief binds thewhole book, if there is any bindingthesis in a book about everything.

On blaming institutions forthings going wrong and thus deny­ing responsibility, Charles Issawicomments, "If garbage piles in thestreets, that is not because people

behave like pigs, but because thesanitation department is. inefficient.If marriages break up, that provesthat marriage is a bad institution."

Some of the best insights arealso the funniest. Woody Allen: "Itseems the world was divided intogood and bad people. The goodones slept better ... while the badones seemed to enjoy the wakinghours much more." Phyllis Dillergives practical advice: "Never goto bed mad. Stay up and fight."Francis Cardinal Spellman on oldage: "There are three ages of man:youth, middle age, and 'you'relooking terrific.'" Groucho Marxadds that "a man is only as old asthe woman he feels."

Here's an alleged exchange bet­ween Lady Astor and WinstonChurchill:

"If you were my husband I'dpoison your tea."

"Ifyou were my wife, I'd drinkit."

Telushkin likes quotes that re­veal irony. George Bernard Shawdeparting from the Soviet Union in1931 said, "Tomorrow I leave thiscountry of hope and return to ourWestern countries of despair."

In 1939 Gandhi said, "I am ascertain as I am dictating these linesthat the stoniest German heart willmelt if only the Jews adopt activenonviolence. Human nature unfail­ingly responds to the advances oflove. I do not despair of Hitler'sresponding to human sufferingeven though caused by him." In1946 Gandhi said, "Hitler killedfive million Jews. It is the greatestcrime of our time. But the Jewsshould have offered themselves tothe butcher's knife. They shouldhave thrown themselves into thesea from cliffs . . . that would havebeen heroism."

There's a wonderful irony tothis, by Hitler: "The great massesof the people will fall more easilyvictim to a big lie than to a smallone. "

It's apparent from reading thebook that Telushkin has a veryclear and uncommonly sensiblepicture of life. He says, "The phil­osophy of life and religion that Ihold, and which determined thecontents of this book, was in largemeasure worked out at 3AM withDennis Prager." If only all of uscould work out our philosophy oflife at 3AM with Dennis Prager!

Some of the sayings are funny,some provocative, others insiring.But all are insightful, and that iswhy I strongly recommend Un­common Sense.

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JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING, WE ARE STILL ALIVEAND WELL IN SUNNY(?) PASADENA. SINCE OUR LAST AD, LOT'S OFNEW THINGS HAVE ARRIVED. THERE ARE TWO NEW DIGITAL TV/MONITORS BY NEC AND MITSUBISHI AS WELL AS NEW VCR'S WHICHINCORPORATE A DIGITAL FILTER IN THE PLAYBACK SYSTEM TO GETRID OF ALMOST ALL VIDEO NOISE CAUSE BY SPIKES, RFI, OR JUSTRANDOM GARBAGE USUALLY FOUND ON MOST RENTAL TAPES. THE NECDX-1000 IS NOW ON SALE FOR ONLY $429 TO THE CAL TECHCOMMUNITY UNTIL THE END OF THE MONTH (WHICH IS SATURDAY FORTHOSE NOT KEEPING TRACK).

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WE ARE CONSTANTLY BEING ASKED ABOUT "DAT" (DIGITALAUDIO TAPE) AND AS TO THE PROGRESS AN FEASIBILITY OF THISNEW AND EXCITING FORMAT. AT THE CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW(CES) IN LAS VEGAS LAST MONTH, ONLY A FEW COMPANIES SHOWEDPROTOTYPES AND NOBODY WAS MAKING ANY PROMISES AS TOREALISTIC ETA'S. THE ONE THING VERY CLEAR ABOUT DAT WASTHAT THERE WERE ONLY A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE THAT HAD EVEN THEREMOTEST CLUE AS TO WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON AND STILL, THATWASN'T VERY MUCH. THE PLOT THICKENS ... RECENTLY THERE HASBEEN A RUMOR CIRCULATING THAT A CLASS ACTION SUIT WAS FILEDAGAINST THE PROPONENTS OF DAT BY THE RECORD COMPANIES WHICHCOULD DELAY THE ACTUAL ARRIVAL OF DAT BY 5 OR MORE YEARS!(SIGH)OH WELL! STAY TUNED ...

OK, OK. NOW FOR THE STUFF THAT'S ON SPECIAL 1EVERYTHING IN THE STORE IS ON SALE THIS WEEK FOR ANADDITIONAL 5% OF YOUR ALREADY SPECIAL PRICING. SPEAKERS ANDSPECIFICALLY SALE-PRICED MERCHANDISE IS EXCLUDED FROM THEADDITIONAL 5% OFF, BUT THESE ARE USUALLY ALREADY CHEAPERANYWAY!

BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN LATELY, OUR STOREDOES LOOK QUITE DIFFERENT. HOWEVER, BAREFEET (FOR THOSE SOINCLINED) IS STILL ALLOWED! ! !

UNTIL NEXT WEEK ...(OR THE NEXT TIME I GET AROUND TO WRITING AN AD!)

GNP HOURS: M-F 11-7 SIS 11-5

WEEKLY SPORTS eALEN DAR

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of the hurdles tackled him.John Beck once again raced to

two season's bests in the 1500mand 800m recording a 1500m timeof 4:08.4s and. 800m time of2:00.51s.

Andrew Stevens took second inhis heat of the 100m in 12.20despite being hampered by musclespasms in his back. Ray Huestablished himself as an 800mrunner at this meet as he firstlowered his best steeplechase timeto 10:59.40, then came back to runa personal record: 800m in2:05.39s. That's a tough double!

Speaking of tough doubles,John Gehring ran 10,000 meters in34:23.4s and also came back laterto run the 800m in 2:07.04s. The10K time is John's best time eitheron the road or on the track. Therubber is still burning!

Chandra Raman representedthe team in the triple jump whileDave Gates rested his ailing ankle.Raman jumped 33'6 1/z".

Eric Smith not only polevaulted 12'6" to a personal record,but also ran a season's best of62.93s in the 400m intermediatehurdles. He wanted to run that raceso badly that he somehow managedto miss three times at 13' in thevault so he would have plenty oftime to warm up for his event.

Garry Bloomberg used a strongfinishing kick over the last eighthundred meters of the 5000m torecord his fastest time ever. Heclocked 17:09.7s. Darin Acostaalso ran the 5K and finished in17:23s after having earlier run1500m in 4:29s.

Sean Hillyard ran his best ever1500m with a Jim Ryun-type kickon the last lap, overtaking severalrunners in the process to clock4:26.9s.

Meanwhile, the sprinters wereblazing the track. KonstantinOthmer ran the 200m in 24.32s,while Tom Tetzlaff clocked24.84s. Additionally, we unveiledtwo new sprinters in Will Evansand Randy Ralph who blazedrespectable times of 25.06s and25.34s.

Dee Morrison threw the discus88'51fz", the javelin 68'Vz", and theshot 27'1" for a truly Earth­shattering triple.

The final event of the meet wasthe 1600m relay in which theCaltech team equalled its best timeof the year in spite of missing animportant cog in the wheel. SinceAlex Athanasopoulos was hurting,we substituted Tom Tetzlaff tocompliment Konstantin Othmer,Andrew Stevens, and John Beck.The result was a fourth place finishof 3:31.96.

This weekend is a home meeton our new Fox STANTON TRACK.We are hosting the teams fromWhittier, La Verne, Chapman,UCSD, Christ College, andMasters College. All fans arewelcome and this week only thereis no admission fee. But get thereearly to reserve a seat in thebleachers. Field events start at11AM, running events at 12:20PM.See you there!

FRI DAY 6 MARCH

The Tricky Spin. Carol Choy warms up for her tennis match againstLa Verne's number one player. The Wednesday match was a close onefor Caltech, but the result was La Verne 6, Caltech 3.

by Bum RunnerThe Caltech track team made a

very good accounting of itself lastSaturday at Pomona-Pitzer's NEWBLUE TRACK, making some seriousefforts and improving performan­ces over the past two weeks.

In a meet that featured twelveteams of NCAA Division IIIcaliber from the western region,there was plenty of top level com­petition to be found. Caltech'sgung-ho athletes did not shrinkfrom the challenge but insteadwelcomed it.

Randy Ralph cleared 6'2" in thehigh jump to claim fourth place. Hewas a hair away from cleanly mak­ing 6'4". Chris Schofeild won hisheat of the 400m in 56.35s withTed Rogers hot on his heels at56.60s. Rogers later attempted the400m intermediate hurdles but one

Tech Track's Tricks

Opponent Location

Fort Lewis College CaltechMen's NCAA West. Regional Cal State FullertonS.c. Intercollegiate Tournament Torrey PinesS.c. Intercollegiate Tournament Torrey PinesMen's NCAA West. Regional Cal State FullertonLa Verne, Whittier, Masters, ChristCaltechRedlands CaltechPac. Coast Baptist Bible College Caltech (2)Christ College Christ CollegeMen's NCAA West. Regional Cal State FullersonTNT CaltechWhittier OccidentalLa Verne ]V CaltechRedlands CaltechPomona-Pitzer La VerneChrist College CaltechU.S.c. Pasadena Ice CenterNCAA Div. 3 Nationals Canton, OhioNCAA Div. 3 Nationals Canton, Ohio

realized corollary, The DifferentialHeat-Flow Inequality!"

"What's that?" This was ob­viously a person who wasimpressed by long, important­sounding names.

"Our warm bodies can swimfaster than their warm bodies."Dodd was beaming. "In order towin we can't just complete, wemust compete. Repeat after me:

Don't complete - compete.Don't complete-compete.Don't complete - compete ... "Picture a small room full of

soggy people becoming very ex­cited by this chant.

"Enough," commanded Dodd."That is my Christmas wisdom, myNo-"L" message for you."

"Sir, that is a terrible pun, andit's out of season."

"True, but I never got it out ofmy system because this is the firstand only swimming article of theyear."

"Well, do you think we'll beable to do it? Will all this help usbeat Oxy?" Everyone was on theedge of his seat for the answer.

"I already know that Caltechwill crush Oxy, Redlands andWhittier by at least 60 points eachfor two reasons.

"One: this article was writtenafter the meet, and two: I did thescoring at the meet. But the mistsof time are thick and certain detailsare hard to make out. For instance,how did RandyTM reserve all eightlanes for himself for his race, andwhat is the meaning of themysterious 'Very Large Array'?"

SportTennis (M)FencingGolfGolfFencingTrackTennis (W)BaseballTennis (M)FencingWomen's SoccerGolfBaseballTennis (M)GolfTennis (W)Ice HockeySwimming (W)Swimming (W)

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their side. Better than that-Doddscience was on their side.

"Come on in here and put yourthinking caps on," said CoachDodd, sitting in front of a chalk­smeared blackboard.

"Coach, I knew you taughtspecialized math, but are you real­ly qualified to teach science," askeda nameless frosh.

"Well, now," answered Dodd,"since my methods in nearly everysubject are so different from thenorm, I am, in fact, the onlyqualified person to teach thesemethods. I can teach everydiscipline except English. Theytook away my credentials on thatone because my new syntax wasjust too radical."

The tired senior in the back rowasked, "What are you teachingtoday?"

"I thought I'd begin with thetheory of Thermo-Fluid Mechan­ics," began Dodd. "The theorystates that if Caltech can findenough warm bodies to fill all theswimming events, it can beat Oxyat the SCIAC championships.However, there is a thermal limit,and that is that all the warm bodiesin the world won't help you beatPomona or Claremont."

"Sounds great! Let's go doit ... " Swimmers were halfway outthe door.

Dodd stopped them. "There'sonJ.y one problem," he said. "TheOccidental swimmers have readmy paper on this subject and willbring their own warm bodies.Which brings us to the newly-

Dodd Science Peps Up Swimmersby R. Brown

As the swimmers filed into thetiny classroom, one questionburned in their tiny minds: Howcould they defend their third-placeconference standing against Oxy?

Although the Batdin' Beaversheld a 9 - 3 season record and hadalready beaten Oxy once, theyknew that Oxy's coach would stopat nothing to avoid the embarrass­ment of losing to Caltech again.Oxy's swimmers had a size advan­tage over Caltech, but Caltech hadsomething better - science was on

CAl.:IECH

~tttJUipRIVERBOAT REVUE COMESTO BECKMAN AUDITORIUM

TIDS WEEKENDMississippi Jambalaya, an all­

singing, all-dancing, all-Americanrevue comes to Beckman AuditoriumSaturday night at 8 p.m. This intrigu­ing show combines New Orleansjazz, Memphis Blues, St. LouisRagtime and Dixieland jazz with RedHot Mamas, Riverboat Gamblersand dancing floozies to capture thespirit and roots of Americana

CIT student prices to this showare $10.00-8.75-7.50; CIT rushtickets go on sale the day of the showfor $6.00. CIT faculty and staffprices are $18.00-15.50-13.00;TECHTIX for the same price as CITstudent tickets go on sale today bet­ween noon and 4:30 p.m.

Steven Traugh and Supercus­sion return to Beckman Auditoriumon Sunday with a concert at 2 p.m.This superb band lights up the stagewith an exotic array of voices, brass,synthesizers and percussion woveninto an Afro-Latin beat. Designedespecially for children, this showopens Caltech Public Events' "FamilyFaire" series.

CIT student prices to this con­cert are $4.00. CIT faculty and staffprice is $6.00; TECHTIX for thesame price as CIT student tickets goon sale today between noon and 4:30p.m.

Tonight don't miss "MySwitzerland," an Armchair Adven­tures travel film personally narratedby Kenneth Richter. This presenta­tion will be held in BeckmanAuditorium beginning at 8 p.m. CITstudents' price for this fIlm is $6.00.CIT faculty and staff prices are$7.50-6.00.

The Premiat Trio will give afree Dabney Lounge Chamber MusicConcert Sunday at 3:30 p.m. Includ­ed in their program will be the worksof Beethoven, Loeillet and Ravel.

Next Wednesday Dr. JeremyMould, associate professor ofAstronomy, will give a free Watsonlecture entitled "Hubble's Constant:How Fast is the Universe Expan­ding?" The presentation will beginat 8 p.m. in Beckman Auditorium.Admission is free.

Next Friday, March 13, guitaristLiona Boyd will perform inBeckman Auditorium at 8 p.m. In­cluded in her program will be selec­tions from Satie, Fortin, Albeniz,Torres, Bustamante, Lara and Boyd.

CIT student prices to this showare $8.75-7.50-6.25; CIT rushtickets go on sale the day of the showfor $6.00. CIT faculty and staffprices are $15.50-13.00-10.50;TECHTIX for the same price as CITstudent tickets go on sale Friday,March 13 between noon and 4:30p.m.

For further information aboutthe exciting Public Events scheduledfor this season, call campus exten­sion 4652.

FRIDAY 6 MARCH 1987CALI FORN IA TECH8THE

I--------WHAT GOES ON-----'-------I

PASADENA SCIENTIFICI TECHNICAL BOOIS

S.W.E. ScholarshipsThe Southern California sections of the

Society of Women Engineers is sponsoringseveral $1,000 scholarships for 1987-88.Applicants must have high academic abili­ty, participate in technical organizations, andshow leadership. Application material mustbe postmarked by 15 March 1987. More in­formation is available from the Financial AidOffice, 12-63.Kodak Scholarship

One Kodak scholarship will be award­ed to a sophomore in Electrical Engineer­ing. The scholarship will be made on thebasis of academic and personal excellence,without regard to financial need. Theamount of the annual scholarship will be *of tuition. Applications and additional in­formation are available in the Financial AidOffice, 515 S.. Wilson Ave. (12-63). Ap­plication deadline is March 27, 1987.

SSSSP Summer JobsLee F. Browne, Director of Secondary

School Relations, needs 12 teachers and 15counselors for this year's SSSSP program.Counselors will be living in the studenthouses with the SSSSPers, and 3 people eachare needed to help the high-schoolers with:Chemistry, Molecular Biology, Physics(with Calculus), and Physics (with Trig).Undergrads interested should call x6207 orgo to the Secondary School Relations Of­fice at 515 S. Wilson and talk to Lee Browneor his secretary Virginia.Leadership America

The International Leadership Center isseeking applicants for its summer-longleadership development program. Fiftyoutstanding men and women from campusesacross the country will be selected to spend10 weeks strengthening their leadershipskills. The program takes place betweenJune 12, 1987 and August 22, 1987.

Leadership America includes one weekin North Carolina, one week in the RockyMountains and three weeks in Dallas,Texas. It also includes a four-week intern­ship in business, government, or communityservice followed by a closing session inWashington, D.C.

Students incur few expenses in Leader­ship America since most costs are under­written by corporate sponsors. In fact, par­ticipants receive a $3,000 stipend which off­sets any expenses as well as their loss of in­come during the summer.

To be eligible for selection to Leader­ship America, a student must be currentlyenrolled and have completed the junior yearof studies by June 12, 1987. The primarycriterion for selection is that the student havean "outstanding potential for leadership".Selection will be completed by May 1. Foradditional information, contact Jeanne Nodain the Deans' Office, 102 Parsons-Gates.Application Deadline is March ZOor----------

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PARIAN TRAVELCaltech Officially Approved

The California Tech is published weekly except during examination and vacationperiods by Associated Students of the California Institute of Technology, Inc.

PASADENA, CA 91125

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Most courteous, economical and efficient servicefor your official and personal travel needs.

Free service to yOU.

For an introductory offer a complimentary $50.00worth of fine dining checks will be offered with the

purchase of min. $100.00 travel tickets (one per family).

(818) 577-8200468 S. Sierra Madre Boulevard, Pasadena

MissingA small black cat with white fur under

its neck and on its paws, (i.e., Oreo), hasbeen missing since last weekend. It was lastseen looking very confused near the Millikanpond. The cat recently underwent surgeryand it is imperative that it be found so thatit can be taken to the vet to have the stitchesremoved. If you see it wandering aroundcampus, please bring it to me, Shubber Ali,in room 7 in Fleming. A reward of $15 isbeing offered. Thank you.

More Holes In Your HeadEar piercing is now available (for

students only) at the Health Center. This ser­vice is offered on Monday, Tuesday, Thurs­day and Friday evenings by appointment on­Iy. To schedule an appointment please con­tact Linda Pinson, L.V.N., after 5:30 pm(except Wednesday) at x6393. The cost (in­cluding earrings) is $5.

Become a Zoo DocentLos Angeles Zoo Docents provide tours

to students, teach youth and adult workshopsin the zoo, and present classroom programsin Los Angeles area schools. Applicationsare now available for the Fall 1987 Provi­sional Class scheduled for Tuesdays9:30-2:30 beginning October 6, or the Satur­day class beginning October 10. Deadlinefor applications is May I. Interested menand women should call the Greater LosAngeles Zoo Association at (213) 664-1100.

Rotary Foundation $$$Talented young people with an interest

in international study are invited to applyfor the Rotar International Scholarship.Forms are obtainable from the CareerDevelopment Center and the deadline isMarch 16, 1987. There are five differenttypes of scholarships: Graduate,Undergraduate, Vocational, Teacher of theHandicapped, and Journalism.

Gay/Lesbian Discussion GroupAn ongoing discussion group on

Gay/Lesbian topics is held every Tuesdayevening from7:30-9:45PM at the ArchibaldYoung Health Center. All members of theCaltech community are welcome.Refreshments are provided. For further in­formation please contact Bruce Kahl, x6393.

Women's Water PoloWill there be a team this year? Contact

me, Randy Brown, at 578-9562, FlemingRoom 48, if you're interested. Leave amessage with my personal secretary, JimBurleigh, if I'm not in.

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PsychotherapyIndividual - Couple - Group Therapy

Motivational TherapyBreak Procastination HabitsServing Los Angeles andSan Gabriel Valley Area

(818) 281-9286State License M12643 Alhambra

The Chess Club Is Alive!The chess Club will be starting at the

beginning of third term. We will be spon­soring many activities, including asimultaneous exhibition, tournament, andregular playing session. So if you'd like tobe involved in any of these activities, youcan get further information by sending yourname and mail code t6 Huy Cao at I-54or by calling 578-9294.

Fast DigitsThe nimble fingers of Jessica Madow

tickle the ivories in music by Bach,Beethoven, Chopin, Faure, Griffes andLiszt. The concert is Thursday, March 12at 8:00 pm in Dabney Hall Lounge, and isopen to the public, free of charge.

All-Mozart ConcertAn all-Mozart concert featuring the

Caltech Chamber Singers, student soloistsfrom Music 101 and Canadian concertpianist Wendy Caldwell will be presentedat 8 pm on Saturday, March 7 in DabneyHall Lounge. The concert is free.

Works to be performed include MissaBrevis, K 192; bass arias from The MagicFlute and The Marriage ofFigaro, sung byjunior Doug Roberts; the adagio from ViolinConcerto #5, performed by senior JohnSimpson; the rondo finale of the ClarinetConcerto played by senior Nancy Drehw­ing; and the complete Piano Concerto #21,in A major, K 488. The program will beconducted by Dr. Donald Caldwell and willfeature a full orchestra and organ.

Fight, Meeting and MealThe Caltech Medieval/Renaissance

Society will be holding a fighting practice(medieval-style armored combat) outsideWinnett Student Center this Sunday (March8) at 1:00 pm. At 3:00 pm there will be theregular monthly meeting in Clubroom I ofWinnett, along with a potluck dinner (bringfood!) and a costuming workshop after thebusiness meeting. For more information,call Amy at 794-2612.

BoardersThe MIT hockey team will be coming

out to SoCal during spring break to playCaltech and other college teams. If you canput up a player or two from Saturday, 21March to Saturday, 28 March, please callHaj Sano at JPL ext. 40995 or 797-5995.

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Attention FishermenBeginners fly casting lessons may be

starting third term. This would be a begin­ners class open to all students, faculty andstaff. A limited number of rods and reelswill be available. Basic fly casting techni­ques will be stressed. Those of you in­terested, please contact Tom Perry on cam­pus, x4705.

Soviet Ecology TourAn ecological tour of the Soviet Union

will be conducted this August by invitationof the Soviet government and coordinatedby Source Media. It appears that more con­sideration and latitude than conventionaltourist groups can be anticipated; this shouldlead to free interchanges and perhaps the for­mation of lasting personal relationshiopswith Soviet citizens and scientists. Thegroup is prepared to accept up to 15 addi­tional members with ecological interests, aslong as they are in good health and condi­tion to undertake the planned field trips. Pro­bably because of the anticipated benefits ofthis information exchange mission, theunusually low price of $2850 has been setby the Soviet Union in spite of the devalueddollar. For further information contact:Source Media, Box 1143, Canoga Park, CA91304. Phone (818) 992-4526.

LDSSA Guest SpeakerThe Caltech Latter - Day Saint Student

Association (LDSSA) is sponsoring a guestspeaker and open discussion on ''The Logicof Mormonism" in the Winnett Lounge,Wednesday March 11 at 7: 30PM. Allmembers of the Caltech Communitywelcome.

St. Patrick's CelebrationCome celebrate St. Patrick's Day with

the Master's Office, Friday, March 13 at5: 15 pm. Enjoy pipers and drummersparading down the Olive Walk, followed bymusic and dancing. Eat, drink, dance, bemerry-be Irish!

Attention Hungry PeopleThe Red Door Cafe's staff is happy to

announce that the Cafe will now be open onSaturdays from 12 to 5 pm to serve its tradi­tional fresh coffee, teas, espresso, juices,and delicious baked goods and bulbousbagels. An expanded menu-designed ac­cording to the expressed desires of ourSaturday visitors - will be available beforethird term begins. So come bring your ap­petites and ideas to the Red Door Cafe.

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DONORS NEEDED for off-campus spermbank. Earn up to $105 Iwk. For info. call(213) 553-3270.

EXCELLENT INCOME for part time homeassembly work. For info. call504-641-8003 Ext. 8738.

HOUSING-FEMALE PROF. looking for roommate tofind and share a 2 bdrm. house, nice areanear campus. Prefer femalegrad/faculty.USC graduate, clean. (818) 504-9502

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INSURANCE WAR! We'll beat anyone'sprices or don't want your business.Sports cars, multiple tickets, good-driverdiscounts. Request "Caltech Plan."(818) 992-6966 or (213) 873-3303.

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POCKET TV, FITS IN YOUR HAND. Justright for office, beach, or lab. Receives allregular vhf & uhf channels. Batteryoperated. CALTECH BOOKSTORE.

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AT&T AwardsOn Thursday, February 19th, the third

AT&T Research and Development Awardsof $500 each were presented to three Caltechundergraduates. AT&T donated this moneyto recognize juniors in Electrical Engineer­ing or Computer Science for academic ex­cellence. The awards were presented overdinner at the Athenaeum by Mr. Alex Gillonof AT&T to: Jinane Abounadi, IgnacioMcQuirk and Masahiro Sayano.

Letter JacketsAn order will be put in for Caltech Let­

terman Jackets within the next few weeks.If you are interested in ordering a jacket,please contact Chris Schofield at 795-4760.

Dissent in the ChurchOn Saturday, March 14th at 8:00 pm in

the Millikan Board Room, Dr. William E.May (Catholic University of America) willaddress the theme "Dissent in the Church".Conference sponsored by the NewmanCenter at Caltech. All members of theCaltech community are welcome.

GM ScholarshipsGeneral Motors is offering scholarships

for 1987-88. Students who are currentlysophomores, have a minimum 3.2 GPA, andare U.S. citizens or permanent residents areeligible to apply. The scholarship covers tui­tion, those fees directly related to coursework, and an annual book allowance of$200. Applications and further informationare available in the Financial Aid Office,12-63. Deadline is March 25.

Announcements for What Goes On mustbe submitted on an announcement form(available outside 107 Winnett) or on aplain piece of paper. Please indicate thedate(s) you want the announcement torun. Send announcements to 107-51, orput them in the mail slot in the door of107 Winnett.Announcements must be received by theTuesday prior to publication.

~l]~~1r~- -_~L-t-t·~ t~~._j., 1-T~--t-T-:rfFt+l'~:i~+-1

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