Book Heal Your Body Image

8/8/2019 Book Heal Your Body Image

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An Inspiring, Step-by-Step Guide to Loving Your BodyLosing Weight, and Feeling Beautiful

HEALH G

By Karly Randolph Pitman, Founder of firstourselves.com


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xA Fir Orl, I wrii a ri o loi yor oy a acam my mo poplar marial. Ti ri pra rom my irc proal xpri

c: lik may wom, oy ima i pla m or mc o my li.

My wrii i rl o may yar o y: I p ca ai my oy.Lari ow o lo my pyical l a o o my ra call. WI ar i jory wi or wom, I o a I wa o alo. Ti ook

wa or rom i piri o ircoc, l y my ir o ar waa work or m wi or wom.

I op p lp yo a y a lp, a coi, o lpm i my jory o laccpac. I I ca lar o lo my oy, wi

all o my ro, prcioim, a criicim, ay woma ca. Tiicl yo.

I wol lo o ar ow i ri a lp yo. Yo ca mail m [email protected].

I lo a coram,

Karly Raolp PimaFor, Fir Orl

Welcome

Copyright 2007 by First OurselvesAll rights reserved

Love is a great beautier.-Louisa May Alcott


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Heal Your Body Image:An InsPIRIng, steP-bY-steP guIde tO LOvIngYOuR bOdY, LOsIng WeIght, & FeeLIng beAutIFuL

f i r s t o u r s e l v e s . c o M

Why this work is important:Why loving your body matters.

My li miio i o r wom rom oa: o rla m rom o prc, pcially i ir oi. I wa ry woma o lo, aor a rar roy, r or pyical packa.

Wy? Wo car i yo lo yor oy? Wy i i impora?

I wom ar proccpi wi ir oi, o a l q or pyicalprcio, a proccpaio pr wom rom lii a r, ll li. boyoio kp wom rom i pr i ir rlaioip; rom irci irim, ri, a al owar ir iq paio; rom oi ir li work.W cao r wo mar: w ir r or piri, wic wa o lo acri; wic wa o joy al, ay, a joy; or w r or o, wickp rapp i compiio, wic li a li i a ay paa; wickp rii a ai; wo lock or craiiy, compaio, a cora.

I p yar cai o my o, rai myl or aii wi, or looki lik awoma (r a aolc irl), or ai, or cai. Ti oc rala ioirriailiy, low l m, prio, axiy, ar, worry, a y. how col I woma I wa o w I r rom c pai?

I col.

b lc o oy i o awr, ir. I orwi. I kow wai l lik o look i mirror a l a: a a a ari o o mc rom xra po a i o rom wa o xra po rpr: a iailiy ocar or myl i aly way. Ta wa pr pai I l w cal ippoo i.

My piri wa o l pry. I li i a pyical oy, a wil i packaio or rmi i wor, my piri wa o l cri, clra,a mrac: i icl i iq ay. b wa cra ay? bay i


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clia w I allow my piri o raia owar. bay i alo clia wmy oy i ori; w i ro a ial. Cora i ima o ay wi ypical aio mol, wr a, i, a maciaio ar clra.Loi my oy ma apprciai ay a com rom oo al arlar l car: a iio o ay a oor a woma wo , , caror, joy, a ori r oy.

A yo rla yor oy oio, alo rla il a ari rom piyorl r. Lo oa oio a a woma li i olly ao acric.Rol o car or yorl xcllly: allow yor aral ay o i or.emrac all o aiwol, riio oo, lp, pampri, xrci, aolia lp or oi l a look ir .

ulimaly, w w l oo ao or oi, w w l ail, w wak xcll car o orl, w w l oo ao wo w ar, w ar alo wom, ar, mor, wi, parr, a ri a w wi o .W ar al o or or r l o worla worl a wa w ao i.

I ollowi 22 p, yoll my paway o loi yor pyical l. I opa yo ipiraio a coram o lo yor oy, a mor imporaly, o or yor r l o worl.


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Step 1:Understand How Your EnvironmentAects Your Perception o Beauty

The art o being wise is knowing what to overlook.-William James

My approac o lpi wom, a myl, lo ir oi, i o accp oal,100% rpoiiliy or or oy loai. I o aoca lami mia, aio iry, hollywoo, or i iry or or li o am a iaqacy ao or oi. I ay i kowi a mia a or ociy a a wolp rril prr o wom o look a crai way. A I kow a i prrca mc pai or wom, a i i or m.

b, limaly, coic o lo a accp or oi i or, a or alo.

howr.... wil I o li i lami or appi o or, I ik iimpora o awar o ow mia a ociy ram or prcpio o oroi. Yo ca o wr yo wa o l lol yo ca wryo : wy yo . Yo proaly kow wr yo . now lxplor wy.

Wy i ao crai awar, o lam. Awar a lam ar wo oallyir i. blam i pi omo l i rir a. blam i aoliyorl o ay rpoiiliy or yor li or yor aior. blam pr yorom rowi, cai, a oli. I will kp yo ck.

Awar, y cora, i rcoizi ic a ap yor li aaior. Awar p yo i rir a. Awar i ao caio,mpowrm, a lim. Awar r mil, wic compaio, wic cra accpac; wic or r, lai ca.

bor yo mark o a pa o loi yor oy, i lpl o i y xamii ic a ac yor prcpio o yorl i oay clr.

hr r: Or clr i wi o, roic, a ai iorr.W I ay ai iorr, I ma a or crr ial mal prooyp i ao a woma wi a ai iorr: a pr i oy a or 99.9% o , i


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impoil i or aral a. (Y, r ar om wom wo ar arallyaaillya i. Ty ol l aly or i wo y ar, j a a

woma wo aral oy ap i cry or mclara ail a a izol l aly or i wo i.)

O iio o a ai iorr i rii or a oy a i ir a cary or al. Ta i xacly wa wr aci a i, i maazi, acr,micia, clrii, a al. W ac i or o lo, wr o o ima, a w ar awar o j ow crw p i iio o ay i. War iiz.

T a ic o or clr ariy i a pra wom ar

allow o look pra aymor i complim a xpca woma i a o look pra, a i ial maral ap i o aii rowi li wii. T poparm, a w clrii rik acko ir prpra iz i rcor im, w l cocrlik r i omiwro wi or oi, a o rii xpcaio or rapi caw orwi lo i mor prolo.

Ti ariy i o j ao oy iz. A coloi impro a commor rampa, a plaic a comic rry com mor poplar a ormal,wom l ra prr o ay yol looki. Looki yor a i coir a

il. no wor wom ar o ar o ml.

I impora o awar o ow crwy mor ay aar a com, ca i yo o raliz a i ay ial i aly a aral, yo caa a raliic iw o yorl. Yoll yorl ro l o i ariy,a wor wy yo l o lacki. Yoll l lik r omi wrowi yo w r oi wro wi yo: r omi wro wi crazy, impoil ay aar.

Ti i wy i l riiclo w crai clrii ar call a, wom wo ar

a iz 6 . a 2. Wa ar i iio o aycalli a woma wo ia i a a rail cry, a, or laro woma rl. I i a ca o mpror w clo; w ar o alki ao ral wom oi. W ar alki aowom oi wic ar coaly, icaly maipla, coroll, coor,ii, a opra o o appar a crai way. Ti i coi waya wom oi ar alr y compr o ra aw, po, li a


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imprcio i maazi a or mia.

W yo com ow o i, i acally qi y. I licro. b i o oy w w y i. A or millio o irl a w wo o kow ayr: aai.

T r p o rom i o com awar: o ra ariy o ay ial. I impora a yo rcoiz li: li a will a yo li a yo ar ail l yo a ima a i aaial, a, morimporaly, lai. W ca imprmac o or oi: i a loial. A aic r ao or oi, a li il, i a ca i iial. Orapparac o ay am. bay a. Or oi a. Ta, my ri, iprcly ormal, a o omi o ar, o corol, or o rr. Or oi

ar ma o , o prr. W w i, y rr o , o ar.W o ak m wi w w o.

Wil i may o mori, y cora, rcoizi i r i qi lirai.I r yo rom i wa i; a wa i o com. I r yo rom oa oociy ia iio o ay (y, y rally ar ia, ca y ar yi raliy). I am a ail, ro, , 140 po, 33yarol woma. I o oa o lo 15 po a qz io a iz 4 o okay. I o a o look likI i a 18, or 25, o okay. W I am 50, 60, a 70, I o a o look lik Io ow a 33 o okay. A, I o a o look lik a woma i a maazi o

okay, ir.


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Step 2:Create a Supportive Environment

W I mark po my q o al my oy ima, I lr myl i may

way. I i ra aio maazi, ca pr kiy mol ook mio a li. vicoria scr caalo i am i, o I o o. Iaoi crai wom wo alway complai ao ir oi. A I ay awayrom ym a i wall o mirror, xrcii oi ia.

Wy? I rcoiz a l I miimiz my iromal riro ia ook m a ma m l a or iaqai wol rally, rally ar olo my oy.

no, yo ca r away rom worl, or millio o wom wo l aly

ao ir oi. Y, yo o al o ac yor rir a ac ym. A y, ally yoll wa o a pac ao yor oy o mar yorirom. b yo ar r y. Yo o ar wr yo ar. A wilyor worki o rom wr yo ar o wr yo wa o , yo ca kio yorl.

Popl aca o pa w y ar ampi a iica ca, ca i mcair o o o i a ppori irom. Crai a ppori irom iplai or yor cc. I ii yorl a ro o roo o a yo carow. I ackowli yor limi. I o maki ca ay arr a i a

o .

Likwi, yo ar i ox. Yor oxi rom arml iki, aior, ali. Wil yo ar i ox, i impora o cra yor ow pa irom:o a mak ca a ay a a comoral a poil.

Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherishthe music that stirs in your heart, the beauty thatorms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes yourpurest thoughts, or out o them will grow delightulconditions, all heavenly environment; o these i youbut remain true to them, your world will at last be built.

-James Allen


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how ca yo ppor yorl wil yo lar o lo yor oy? A a xprim,kp a lo or a wk. ery im yo l rir y omi i yor xralirommay a aio maazi; or i a orly i acr o tv, ora ri complaii ao r awri i ow. T, w yo a yorli, look i or. (I yor lik m, ill a lo, lo li.) Ca yo limia ormiimiz om o o rir?

Here are some suggestions:Rmo maazi a caalo i looki a m mak yo l alyao yorl.Rrai rom oy ai wi irlri.Limi yor mia compio (tv a moi) i i orly iacr rir yo.

Limi yor xpor o wom wo ar coaly lammi ir oi.I ri room a clo oppi la yo i ar, rrai or a wil.Mo yor kiy cloi o o i, or ow. I kow yo lik o iki ipiraio, oic ow yo l w yo i. do i mak yol oo, or o i mak yo l ira or aii wi?

I kow i li i ll o o a o. I ay o ik o i p a priaio.b yor o ryi o pri yorl, a mc a rr yorl wi i amak yo l oo. A a yor oy coc row, yoll al o o clooppi a y yor ral iz, wio ar. Yoll al o joy aio

maazi a crai ipiraio wio li a. Yoll al o li oirlri oy a wi acm, or rpri.

I lo aio maazi. b w I raliz a y ma m ao my oy,I kw a I a o ak a mporary rpri. now I occaioally ra I syl ai o rir m. b i ii o my jory, i wa oo mc, o I ppor myl y aaii.

I i lpl o rmmr i qaio: a yo rac i rom yor li, ai xra car. so i rai Popl wa o way yo il yorl, a crai

alrai. May i rai Coa Lii ia. Pick p a jicy ol. tak aar cla or lar ow o mak jwlry.

tryi o ca yor o ao yor oy will l lik ox. Yo may lwor or yo l r. Yo may row yor a i air a wa o ip. Yo may l lik yoll r l oo ao yor oy. Ti i complly


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normal. This is a sign to keep going, not a sign to give up. You are in detox. It maysuck or a while.

And while youre in detox, remember:1. b ry, ry ki o yorl.2. b ry, ry ki o yor w aior par.A, 3. I wo i pail orr. O ay, loi yor oy will ay; criicizi i will ar. Ta, my ri, i a wory call, ao I kow a yo ca m.


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Step 3:Add Care

I p wo, I alk ao crai a ppori irom y miimizi rir:o i a park yor ir oy criic (a w all a o) io orri.Ti p i impora, ca i i yo roo: a ro oaio a yo lar olo yor oy. howr, i ca l lik priaio, lik a lo, i a yormporarily raci i rom yor li: crai maazi, tv, a may

im wi oy ai irlri.

Ta wy i impora o coralac p wo, rmoi oacl, wi pr: ai car. Orwi, yoll ar yor piri. Yor piri o lik o qlc, a i i l pri or ior, i will rac, y orraci. Ti iwa la o orpi, orai, a orriki. I wr oi ca llyo, w yor appi ar iaial. so ia o a w oi, yo car awarro a yo ca aor; ia o o owl o ic cram, yo a ir coair.

A pri piri will almo alway mai il i yor pyical oy. er wor wy yo ca ick o a xrci proram, a oo a ori yo, or ilcyor ir criic? I yor piri i wak rom lc, i ca pporiri a yo i o . W rar or ai li rom or piri o oroi, a or w kow i, wr ai orl p or a xra po,wrikl, or rc mark.

A lc piri i wa ri yo o ipick a yor oy, maiy al, ao or orcomi. A lc piri i r ai: yor r i or

pry o. Yor lcoc will a wi cal, mirror, a yor moo.

b r a olio: a rlar ai o lcar. Car i ii yor oy aio:rpc, lo a pampri. e i yor o appy wi yor crr orm, i yo wa o lo wi or com alir, pa o ca ar wi rai yorl xcllly. Yo ca a yor oy io ca. Yo may ik yo

Sel-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as sel-neglecting.-Shakespeare


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ca a yor oy io miio (Im o ro a a I will o ayi o lowi!) i i o pa o lai raormaio. (vaiy oly moia i orrm; lo moia or lo al.) Yo a o lo yor oy a i iow. Ta wy. slcar i ow. hr ar ral way o car or yor oy:

Mother YourselfW wr li a or orwlm, i commo o pi or or mor. ually, w o wa or mor pr a mc a w wa a mori r: omo o car or wi r. W lo or coiioal lo, pcially wwr icy, irrial, a craky. b i o omo l jo o mor . Tky o lcar i mori yorl. Yo lo yorl coiioally. Yo iyorl wa yo , wr i i a ap, a picr, or a walk. do yo kow owyo comor yor cilr w y o r? gi yorl am r

w yor r, ii o, or a.

Feed the Beauty MeterA Mama ga rmi i r ook, Mama ga scool o Womaly Ar, wall a xpric a mak l ail, wr i i a acial,xrcii, i r p or a irl i o, or aki a lo a. Mak yoray li: Wa mak yo l ail? T, li i a; way o icrao opporii, o a yo yor ay mr. how ca yo xpa yorail li, o a yo xpric m mor o? J la wk, I omyl w makp. I l o irly, mii, a y, ail, w I ook irymi o coo w color. I wor my w lipick oay a i a I walkow r: o ca my w makp ma m ail, ca myw makp ma m l ail.

Aor way o a ay o yor li i o aiy yor rroi. Wa kio i o yo a o? I yor room a acary? Wa ao yor clo? I i aplar o op; o i ii yo o play rp ry mori, w yo cooa o or ay? Mak yor irom ail, a plar or .Ti o ma orpi or yi i yo ca aor; my makp cam

rom ror. I o lil rik a tar a ara al. baycom rom a ai, o a ak acco.

Treat Yourself Like a Queendo l or r oa, a tri hacr o loqly p i. ea oo a makyo l oo; a a oo, look ail, a ai yor r. Wil


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yor a i, a i o yor cia, o a ail al.

War clo a ar yo a mak yo l mai, i i a racki.(C racki o xi.) A wo ay yo a o li i ja i yor a ay aom Mom?

tra yorl o xy rwar, oro liri, a i lowar. Wmy o wa or la wir, wa colicky a y: I rarly o r. I wa aloay wi pracy wi, o o o my clo . I r i I wa oi o lii my pajama, I mi a wll mrac opporiy. so I o myl riclycolor, comoral lowar, a ma m l oo i my cry r. (noica mak yo l ar a qzi io oomall cloi.)

I yo lik owr y yorl owr: rlarly. (ha yo Coco alo,ixpi oq?) I yo lik cick ick, mak a a wi yorl: oi. Iyo lo a alo rara mal, p i i amily .

Relish in Your Physical SelfPampr yor pyical oy o a aily ai. Pai yor o, yl yor air, room yorl impccaly. g a acial, y a w loio; p a aroo oi oi: wa i kow a ar o pri. try a w y aow, yor color, a ili. I i i a woma? Rli i i. tra yor oy lik a mpl, ra yorl lik a go, rayor piri lik a Q. Ti, my ri, i pa o loi yor oy. do i o lik

? di i.


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Step 4:Create New Mental Pictures

Whatever is happening in your lie is comingrom an image you hold about yoursel.

-Sanaya Roman

Ti p wa ipir y saaya Roma ook, Proal Powr Tro Awar.di yo r wor wy i aro crai popl rir oa or olaior a yo ar ryi o ca? For m, i wa r wi my par.

Wr I wa wi m, I o myl aci lik a ray ar.

Wy i i? I ca yor mal picrow yo yorl i yor mia or mal picr o yoow y yo i ir mia aicril ic o yor aior. Ti alo xplai wy a ormrly owoma wo a lo coiral wi may ill iw rl a a: r malpicr a ca alo wi r oy.

si ow, clo yor y, a ik ao yor mal picr. how o yo iwyor oy? I i poii? Or ar yo oli oo oa, r picr? do

yor ll yo a yor a, ol, ly, a o oo o? g wa? Yoraior will pro a r, or a or a or aai. Yo will ra yor oya i i a, ol, a o oo o.

Ca yo moia o o o ym w yor mal picr i o a ay,aly oy? no a ix a.m. I yor mal picr i o a rmpy Mommy, cayo p o a kir a l comoral? I ay o. I yo iio yorl a a aay, ow will yo l w yo cor a mai 20 yar ol wi prkyra a wy ki? Proaly rally, rally jalo o r, or rally, rally aao yorl.

try i ia: Imai yorl a a poi, poli pric. Or a a lowimoro, raialy ail. May yor a ro, powrl al. Yo ca a racl acr, a rac mariarc, a ky ari, a aio ia. Yo caorm a mal ima o war yo wa o .


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O o ai way o cra a w mal ima i o mak a ramoar, apoo colla o ima a pak o yo. gar picr, wor, maazi clippi,a pom, ayi a mak yor piri i. Mak a colla o yor ialpyical l.

I ma ral o or yar. I r o I ma, I co ima opr kiy aio mol. no mar mo I r ma. toay, my collaa a la lay i a ail wi i; a way rr; a woma playi o ac; a woma wio makp, lai a carr; a m, wi my amily.T ima pak o way I wa o myl.

Oc yo corc a w mal ima o yorl, ry i o. eryay, ryor, ry im yo look a yorl i mirror. L i com yor w mara.

W yor ir criic ll yo a yor a a mpy? Yo ow a a rply.no, Im a al, cry w mor.

b o op r. Fir, oc o crai a w mal picr or yorl. b oryor lor, yor irlri, yor pri w mal picr,oo. Wy? by i or a w picr, yo ca ic ir xpcaio ali ao yor apparac. T, mo oo p r: or wom aw picr o ml. do yo a ri wo oy a? Yo ca lp lair mal picr ao ml io omi r. I o i all im:wr a woma ar a ory ao ow ilik r oy, I r a mal

picr o rl a a ail woma. I r a ima o ow I r, wic io r im mor ro a ow iw rl.

Ti i par o way w ca al i oy ima i or wom oc a orall. I ar wi o woma, loi r oy. T a r mal ima row aol, ca row a ol or wom mal ima, oo. A i aro row, a row, il mor a mor wom a ir a ir malima o ir oi.


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Step 5:The Importance o Rest and Sleep

No day is so bad it cant be xed with a nap.

-Carrie Snow

ha yo r ar a qo ao irc w op a pair ia oo i lp?

Wil o acaio wi my amily i sa dio, I col a ia pi i alp priaio y. d o a comiaio o acorla im a arlymori rir; a lpl ay; a xcim o mc o oI p mayay ir a r. I oic ow my ai a wi my ai. O ay

w I wa r, I l poii, apprciai owar my oy a myl. b wI wa ir? I l mpy a razzl. I look i mirror a ar my arpi, oic o my ir criic: Yor a. Yor ly. Yor loi yor ay.bca I wa ir, I i a rally m i: I li li. Ti i o makor a oo ay, o or myl, a or o aro m.

W w approac omi lik loi or oi, i ay o orima imporac o i i, lik cai or mal ap, a rima imporac o mily lil i: lp i ormo amo m. b lpi a mall i i orall cm o mal al. I lar ar way

a I lc my aic or r, aly, wol oo, xrci, im ooor,a prayr o my ow rim.

Cari or yorl xcllly ma ii yorl ro roo: a rm oaioa ro yo. slp ro m. Lack o lp i o o qick way Icom moor a all pry o my ir criic. Ti iaio i commo amowom, pcially coll , worki mor, mor o yo cilr, acarakr o olr par: w ar a croically lp pri lo.

Ti o o o wll or loi yor oy. I yo ar ir, yo wo a willpowr or r o mak coic a mpowr yo. Yoll o or qick xo; a ooca yor oo ir o mak a mal a m yor or o a a riio. Yo wo l moia o xrci. Yo will look i mirror a a a, ir, aar woma ari ack a yo. Yoll a ryii yor clo, a ik yo a oi o war. Yo will l io o ry ,racl, ail woma a cro yor pa. Ti will o lp yo apprcia


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yor iq ay.

W ik w ca o, o, o a kp pi orl owar a pwar. b, iyor lik m, yor oy rac a poi wr i wo p aymor. Tially mai a ill (i i way my oy ma r i ) or a lia omi ami; wa I call li ii o, a i yor a arm ar wro way.

slp ror or qilirim. I ror or opimim, or compaio, a orpaic. Ar a oo i lp, I aw a ir oy i mirror. My oya ca; my ai, owr, a. Ti i powr o r.


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Step 6:Find Your Conduit

Oh, darling, let your body in, let it tie you in, in comort.

-Anne Sexton

I i p, wr oi o pyical. Wy? bca wil loi or oi i limaly a pirial i, w a coi: a way o coc or amorpo, pirial l wi or jicy, ary maiy. Wa r a or lari o lo oy y i oy? Ar all, w ar ma i: w lar a row yxprici li i a pyical orm. I or oc o wa or oi look lik, w or ir r cio: o . Aor sa Kao ( wro a aaic ook,Maki Pac wi Foo,) ay a oy o wa o j a oram; i wao a irm. Im rmi o a pom y Mar Pircy, to b o u.s wri:

grk ampora or wi or oil,hopi a a l cor, ar p i mm yo kow y wr ma o .T picr cri or war o carrya a pro or work a i ral.

Or oi ar lik o grk ampora: cra or o ay a iliy.Clrai yor oy apparac wio apprciai i prpo wol likai a ailly cora kic, o wi proioal appliac, aalo layo, a ampl cor pac, a i r or cooki.

L cook i or kic. A Mar Pircy rmi , or oi ar cryi o orwork a i ral. For cri, ocial orm kp wom rom i ll pyicalpowr o ir oi. no wor wom l iraci.

Tr i a ia iiil milical corw ow yo l i yor oy aow yo l i yorl. I yo ar comoral i yor oyi way,i iry, ii a rcii xal plaryo will comoral wi allapc o yorl, a o j yor pyical orm.

so l i i ir, lirally: Wa mak yo l ro, o a iicil?Wa mak yo rli i yor pyical l?


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For m, ri i my coi. I l ro, powrl, a ali w I r: likI ca o ayi. I lo oi r a pi myl o a ail, cripmori r, rri o my oor way a wr o. Ri rcoc mo yo irl I oc wa: irl wo approac li wi coc aopimim. Ar a r, my ormrly irmoal prolm ar imii, myolook mor poii, my coc icra. Ri ror m o myl.

Wa ror yo o yorl? I may walki, rock climi, or iki. I may allroom aci, tai Ci, or compi i rialo. I kow a woma wo lor work i a mi, a roypical ma jo. s a icp a Ala bawol y, a l icrily powrl i r oy i c a pyical way.Aor ri l w way a a owr i ral ay ai i mil o a wklo ik, packi all r oo o r ack. Aor

li i coqri a ifcl yoa po.

Ca yo ik o wo or r i a mak yo l ro a powrl? howca yo a i o yor li? sar wr yo ar: wa ca yo i o ooay? Yo may o al o prc a aa omorrow, yo ca arworki owar i, o p p a a im.

T impora i i o ar: r i icril li i proc. Wy?bca yor alii yor acio wi yor al. I l oo w yor aiora yor li mac. I yo ay yo wa o lo yor oy, i yor oy o

ackl a pyical call will ali o oal i ycroiciy. A a yo yoroy, a apprcia i r a ailii, wa app? Yo arally aro l oo ao yor pyical l. Lo a ol, yo ar loi yor oy.

b or oi ar o oly or row: y ar alo or clraio, joy, a li.Tr i a im o work, a im o wa, a im o rap. b r i alo a im oac. A im o clra. A im o rlax. Yor oy ol mak yo appy; oyo yor oy or joy, ay, a li?

I l ail w Im aci wi my a, i Im i my wa i

kic. I l ail w Im joyi a irl i o, lai o ar wimy irlri a I arly p my pa. I l ail w Im maki lo,w ry r i i xploi wi plar. I l ail w Im riii car wi my cilr, a w i alo wi ipo a op o or l.Wa o all a i commo? Ty a oi o o wi myapparac. Ty a ryi o o wi my xpric. Im i my oy a


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my icl o xpric joy, plar, li, a rai. Im oori my oyra i: ailiy o xpric crazy, loopy rollr coar o li. Im oiki ao iz o my i or wr my look i or ao zi omy o. Im rlii wa i: a cac o clra li, ro mo ailicl I ow: my oy.

so o yor oy. tak ri o o o clo. Ar yo ici oac? Wa ar yo waii or? I yor worri ao i lar womai room, I ara a yoll a compay: r a la o or womawo cocr ao ow i look, oo. sar. I l icril o yoroy: o rcoiz a yor o a a a i p p o a l, o a ill wi owr, o joy.


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Step 7:Chart Your ProgressNothing contributes so much to tranquilizethe mind as a steady purpose--a point onwhich the soul may x its intellectual eye.

-Mary Shelley

I i jory o loi or oi, w ar alii or aior, li a moio. Ti l oo. I cra wol, a iriy. Wil yor worki acai yor o, a li, wil yo ar ai carw aioriimpora o i yorl proo: ic. T impl way o o i i o kp aicory lo.

Wa a icory lo? Ay sixa wro ao icory lo i r amazi i oai alac a mai o wom li, Fii dp Rir Wii.simply p, a icory lo i a joral o yor cc. A cc ca ayi,owr yo wi o i. May i i o o o xrci w yo llik lpi i. May i oici yor rcio i mirror a li oo.May i wari yor ai i or r im i mmr. May irraii rom ai yorl p w yo a al ccak. May i oppi a o lic o ccak.

T icori ml o mar, a mc a yor ciio o oor m.tracki yor icori kp yo oc o wr yor oi, rar wryo . I alo a way o joy jory, rar a olly oci o rl.

Wy i i impora o lo yor icori? W yor ryi o ca, i ay ocom icora y mall marc o pror. Yo may o oic owyor o or aior ar oli wio cocio awar. I kow w Iclim o o my prio, my moo wa o rail a I a o car my pror

y or, o ay. Fli r or a or; a wa a cc. T a il po ral or. T a cam a ay. T a r o ral ay. halimy oy ima a ollow am cor.

A joral i iipal or i ry rao. W yor oly li r oror a a im, yo ca imi a o mall icory. b a wri rcor riyor aio o miicl ca, o mak yo cocio o yor row.


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T r i, yo will a ack. Yoll a ay w yo l icora.Yoll a ay w o arpi will rar ir a. so Im corai yo o prpar. T prparaio aai a ormial o i a ro . Aicory joral i yor r li o . I ca cor o oic a o yorpror. so w yor li aly ao iz o yor i, i lpl okow a, wil yo may o wr yo wa o o, yor o wr yo wr,ir. A yor rcor o icori icra, yor coc icra. A a yorcoc icra, yor o ao yor oy row mor poii. A yo lr ao yor oy, yo rcor mor icori: a wiwi, all aro.


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Step 8:Adopt Feel Good Habits I I could change one thing or women, it wouldbe helping them to believe they have the innerstrength they need to make their lives better.

-Alice Domar, Ph. D.

Wa mak yo l oo? Wa ri yor oy joy a li? Ill ar om omy oily plar: ri; lo walk wi my a; oi a aa; akia lirly ik ri; ii oi i ; a prcly rill ak; raprri,ri o ; omao a r ail; macaamia r; cramy rioowi pri al. A prc alac o oo: wr Im ll, o .daci wi my a i kic. nri my ay. hi my ki. Makilo. Paii my o. gi r p or a i o ow. T i arii ir. tryi a w lipick.

Ta my li. Wa yor?

I impora o kow wa mak yo l oo, ca wio i kowl,yor ai ar a mrcy o yor ir akmar. Yoll o i ca yool: a crai oo ca yr aly; xrci ca yor ocor ay

o; ak pplm ca a xpr rcomm m. Or yoll xrci a acrai oo, o or plar a y i yo, ca yo li yllow a ir or mor ail oy.

T prolm wi cario i : y i a rril moiaor. so i aiy.

I or ai ar moia y ar, y, or aiy, will y ick or lo al?Proaly o. b i or ai ar moia y joy a li, will y rmailo rm o? Proaly. Wy? bca joy a li a iriic moiaio:yor rwar com rom oi m, o rom om r .

Aopi l oo ai icra or iriy, ca y ali or xralaior wi or iral ir o lo orl. W w coo poor ai:rai, orai, ai oo a mak l icky, ayi y o oliaioa w o wa o o, w l a. Wy? bca wr xprici ioaca accompai a lack o alim.


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hr ow i play o i ral li: ia o ai paa a yo rally waor ir, yo a a ala. T, li ai, yo roo aro kic,ili o om ri, may a crackr, il yo ally i io paa a yowa i r plac. b, a i poi, yor or a yo l rril.by cora, i yo wol i yorl prmiio o a paa, mo likly,yo wol a joy a owl, a opp w yo wr ll.

T rci o a ai i ri o mc rom ai ml a ama y la i ir wak. W I wa i ro o orai, xracalori wr a rio a mal a moioal ai a accompai myi. I wa arwar, w I ra myl or orai, a I l c pai.Wy? bca I wa iori my ir oic, wic wa ki owar myoy, o a. I wa i rmoil ca o my iailiy o a p or myl a

ra my oy i way a ma m, a i, l oo.

Fl oo ai, y cora, o wa ir am impli: y lp yo l oo.Tyr a way o pi yor ir o lo yor oy io acio. I ro yoriio io omi ail: a pyical lamark o yor jory. A yo cramor a mor lamark, y r a rmir o way yo ar loi yoroy. Ti po il, il rci ai ar xcpio, a o rl.

do I a yo coic? gra. now or cary par: I ca ll yo wa willmak yo l oo. no or xpr ca, ir. Yor o wi awr.

My rol, yo , i o ppor yo o yor jory. I am o oo, xrci, oroy polic. Yor xral aior o mar o m: ayi ca ari romoo, or a, iio. Ar yo ai roccoli ca yo joy a a ii yo ry? Or ar yo ai i a pim, ca yo li i ooor yo a yo ol a i? do yo a acial ca i l rlaxi a pampri? Or i i l y axiy ao ai? do yo o o ym ca a wayworko rr a riz yo? Or o yo o o ym o cacl o calori yo a la i a ir?

s: ayi ca cor a a oo, or a, ai. Ta wy, a om poi,yo a o op rai la i ook, maazi, a i ooka i io yorl. Wil or ca r a i, yo ar oly o wokow wa o a o work or yor oy. Yo ar oly o wo kow moiaio i yor aior.


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Loi yor oy ma lii a yo a ailiy o a xcll carakr o yorl. A Alic domar ai, i lii a yo a r o owa oi. I ri a yo ca ay o o rq a o m wiyor al. I lii a yo will kow w o xrci a w o r, wo clra a joy iray cak, a w o co mor al.

O way o oi i i y crai pac i yor li or cocio. gi yorlmom o ill, w yo ca rcoc yor oy wi yor mi. boryo x yorl omi o a, op a ak yorl: Wa o I wa o a riow? Wa o oo o m? bor yo ay y o a pary iiaio, op a akyorl: do I wa o o? bor yo o yor al roi a ym, ak yorl:Wa xrci o I wa o o oay? do I wa o xrci a all?

I kow i o cary. Wr arai a i w rlax or aar a wll aopo aar a all, a p o, aly, a lazy. b loi or oima ri a a w ri all orl io alim, wll alac or ,i a way o m m all. so wll m or aioia or pry clo.Wll m or oy or r, oo oo, a pyical aciiy. Wll m orir cil or play a . Wll m or piri or qi a oli.

Ti i wa comi om look lik: comi yor ow ri.


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Step 9:Make One Change at a TimeOnly in growth, reorm, and change, paradoxicallyenough, is true security to be ound

-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Wi i p, wr xplori row a ca; or rar, ow o maa roli cop o row a ca. A Jo O doo wro, To ma oy i or compl i o mom, ir o ma ar i aooi proc. W r op rowi. Loi or oi i a lilo jory.

Ti ca l orwlmi, pcially or o o wo lik a i li, or a oppi poi: a im w w ca cro omi o li, a ay, do.

hr ow I maa row ri ar: I mak o ca a a im. Imy xpric, oo a oy i com i pair, or ripl. ually, i yo aa poor oy ima, yo may a accompayi ai, c a rai,ri ii, or orai. Ta wa r or m. I a i all: a crw prlaioip wi oo, orai, rai, oo aicio, a poor oy ima,a low l m. b j ca yo a mor a o i o ma ayo ol ackl m all a oc.

Ti wol oppl mo o, ica, ar woma.

I wol i wi o ai, a mak i a ooi: ackl ai a i cai yo mo pai. I yo coqr yor i call, yoll alo rla mai amo o ai ry i i. I will l lik rmoi a ormoolr rom yor pa. I my ca, my olr wa my ar aicio. I p aimy or oalloi xra po a wr a coqc o my ar i;loi my oy; xrcii mor rlarlyi orr o xclily oc o rmoiar rom my li.

Wy i I approac row i i way?

grow i my. grow ca l lik yor moi ackwar. grow i comoral. I ik o ow my cilr row: ow y p wk i a oiky pa,wr y rr io ol aior, pick o ir ili, oc rom o


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moioal xrm o aor, a la o i rraio. Ty lp mor, a mor,a cry mor. T, mily ori, wammo: y wak p o ay, ayr i a irly ir plac, wi w moio a aior, a mariy, a a xra r ic.

Ti i ow w row, oo. Im rmi o cilir, a ow raiio wa alway a o laor w I l lik ii p; w I l lik I col o o aymora la wio a w illal mi alri ac. b my miwi alwayrmi m a mom w yo l lik yo ca o o: a a ooi. I yor oy way o lli yo i almo or; a i ar.

I yo ar rowi a oli o o ol, oa aior, li, ai, orpai, i yo ar climi p x r o lar, yo may l wor

or yo l r. grow cra rlc. I ir i p. Imai yorjory a a wao, wi wl ollowi a wllwor pa. A o wlclim o o wao r, i oi o mak or a mpy ri.

I wr awar o i, w ca irack w ca com a a low, pailmarc. W ca miak rlc a a i a wr o cai; a wr oiackwar, ia o orwar. b j lik ar o ma op, o; rlc i a i a yor prori, o rri.

hr ar om i a I oic ao myl w Im rowi o o a ol

a: I mor im o myl, or ila myl rom oo may ocial oi. I mor lp. Im wpir, a i my ar a o: ryi oc m. Icry mor. I am mor aily ar. I la o or lil i. I xpric powrlai li a moio a I a xpric i mo or yarI calli la rra or y ar (oplly) rrr or oo. I am pciallyr, lral a ii o or popl comm or opiio. I wa myMom. I ram iily. I l lik my ar i walki oi my oy, lik my oyi walki aro wio ki, lik I am waci myl oi o myl. I ol o car a rri y i rmoil a I wa o r ack o way iwr, j ca ir amiliariy ma m comoral.

b icomor i a i o pror. I a i o kp oi, o o i p.

traiio ar a im o owr wi xra ppor, compaio, a loi ki. Kp aki yorl, Wa o I mo ri ow? a yo o ao yoray. May yo mor lp. May yo mor oli. May yo


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mor rci imim or wrii, jorali, crai ar, or prayi. giyorl ool yo o aia yor rocky roa; rai yorl kily i oway o loi yorl.

T cool i ao row i ow i cycl o cc propl yo orwar. A yoaap o o ca a a im, yo ai coc; coc a yo will wapproaci yor x raiio. u i momm o yor aaa.so wr will yo ar?

J i. sar omwr, wi o ca. T a aor. A aor, ilyor ri o cc orm a w oaio, a w ra poii ry wicyo r.

I maim, i yor li rl a moor, o oo cr: ima yor i ar. J lik my cilr, yor oi o wak p o moria yorl i a complly ir plac.


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Step 10:Get Your Body History StraightHistory is a part o becoming truly ree. -John Hope Franklin

W all a ori: a ramwork a w o irpr o or li. Iyor a woma, yo proaly a a ory or yor oy. Tr proaly a caprwr yo lo yor oy; may a capr wr yo w o yor r i. Yoa a capr w yor oy capry, pracy, or mopa. Forom, i wa a poii jory; or mo wom, accpi oy caar ar.

I ra, rally; w o xpc or moioal, mal, or pirial oi o ay am roo or li. b wy o w ol or oi o c rii aar? Wy o w xpc or oi o rmai a y wr a 18, or praci,rai, a ca o ?

Wi i p, wll proo xpcaio y joryi ro yor pa. Oroal i o ri awar o yor ory, o a yo ca ow i ic yor

ai oay. Yo ca clariy ao yor rlaioip wi yor oy il yorcoiz wr yo . I yor oli oo am or il ao yor pa,i will o mai i pr a a oo i. Ti will mak i rally, rallyifcl o car or yor oy i a aly mar. Tro i proc, yo willa opporiy o accp, ori, a rla yor iory.

Write Your StoryI yor jorali yp, i lpl o pyically wri yor ory. brak i owio ral par: Wri ao yor oy rom a 111; 1219; 2030; 3040;4050, a o o. For ac ca, awr qio: Wa i yo look lik?

how wol yo cri yor rlaioip wi oo? Wa i yo ik aoyor oy? Wa i yo ik ao yorl?

Ar yo wri yor ory, look i or, a a wol. do yo ay par orcoici or cor o yor li? Wa ay am? Wa ca?Wa ca i yo l ao yor oy? Ca yo ay aior a


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l o oo li? W i yo l wor? Wa aior l oo li?

Releasing a Painful Historyhow o yo l w yo look or yor pa? do yor pa l pail? do yol rr, am, or il or crai aior, c a ii, ai yor oy,ai a ai iorr, or yi yorl joy il yo lo wi?

sam a il ar joy ror. Ty will kp yo rom accpi yorl, j ayo ar, oay, omorrow, or yray. For yar, I carri p am ao my coll ay, w I alra w ari myl a rowi p i oil. Tiroy i a i my 20 I oo or comor; o o rao I ora wa my

low lm. do yo kow wa rir my low lm? sam aomy pa.

I rla my am w I rcoiz wo i: 1. I i I col, a 2.W I kw r, I i r. W I wa i coll I wa rrily loly aicr; I kw oi ao propr riio, or ow o car or myl. bii a ari myl wa I col I o a im. A I rw i kowl,coc, a lm, I opp ii a ari. ulimaly, I wa al oori myl or ai my oy, rcoizi my mii amp o l oo.

now i yor r. Look a yor ory. Imai i a moi crip. Imai i yor ri ory. Imai i ory o a mall cil. how o yo iw yor oryow? Ca yo mrac yor miak wi compaio? Ca yo a yo wroi yo kw ow? Ca yo ow yor aior wr a amp ol oo ao yorl?

Wa rmarkal ao ori i ow i orcirci am. toay, I am ra clar o ra my oy wi lo a rpc. My pa i j a: a ol ory. Ikow r, a o I o r.

Find the Goodnow l ak i o p rr: Ca yo ow yor pa lp yo owr yo ar oay? Ca yo oo i yor pa? Ca yo ow yor pama yo ror, a yo impora lo, a, lik wi lii, il yoriral mcl o yo col row a ol?


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For m, i wa oly ro ai my oy a I wa al o lo my oy. Myoy ima i wr my way ii: icl or my row. I I a lo aaccp my oy, I wol r a mark o my pirial q or al awol. I I a a my oy, I wol al o wri i ook ayor rai.

do yo kow a ayi, I all oo? Ti i wa i ma: a all or circmac, o o w lal oo a a, ar rii ack o aic r:li i or lari, loi, a orii. T ir a a prc pla, i yoo wr yo o o. hai yor oy may a impora p o jory.

Embracing an Imperfect PresentTr a ip i o i xrci: Wa i yor pa i pail a all. Wa i i

yor pr ory a ca yo pai? do yo lo or a arlir im, w yowr ail, i, or yor? do yo pi or yor ormr ay?

I ik i cario i ry commo wi wom wo a cilr. Or oica coiraly ar ii ir: rc mark, pir i, wir ip, ir, a po, poocy lli, a ay ra ar j om o way pracy a cilir ca alr a woma oy.

I kow r o wom i ir 30 a 40 wo ar ryi ry i, ai axrci proram y ca o rai oy y a w y wr 18. I kow

wom i ir 50 a 60 wo ar oi likwi. Ia o rcoizi a oal il i ar, wom ik r omi wro wi m: y ari ar o, or o willpowr. Or y a y o prc i.

I ca rla: I p my 20 ii o rai prkiy oy a I a wI wa 19. I o a i oly I col corol myl a a pr, pr, alyoo, I col a i aaiwio ai iorr. b op. Toly way I col a i aai wa i I ar myl.

The Pathway to Changeso ow o yo rla yor xaio o pa? how o yo mrac a w ima a wo yo ar oay? hr wa I i: I call i roop. I pray,Pla, go: ak away my ir o kiy. I kw i wa omi I colackl o my ow. I a o rla my will, a r a go a omi ror m a I col r wa or myl.


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W o wa o rla or ol o or oi, ca wr arai a loia accpi or oi ma i a. Wr arai i w l or oi a ilyr ai a wll wi 1,000 po. Wr arai a i w rla ori xpcaio wll l or omi rally, rally low, a p lol,aly, ill, a o.

b o yo kow wa i i? Ti i a lack o r. W o r orl oo li a w will car or or oi. W o r a wll kow wa oroi ; ia w rly o xpr a ii rl o ll wa o a, ow oa, a w o a. W o r a wll wa o xrci, i r o olli w ol o o ym.

b rmmr? go, yor piri, yor aic lwa omi ror yo a yo ca imai or yorl. Yor piri wa yo o aly. Yorpiri wa yo o ail. Yor piri wa yo o joy yor pyical oy.

Let It Goso l i o. Rla yor pa, yor am, yor rr, yor il. Rla yor pii or a prc im, wic, limaly, i xi. (L o: di yo rallylo yor oy 15 po or 15 yar ao? Or wa r omi, , a xi?) Rla yor pii or r, w yo ik yoll ally loyor oy, ar yo lo o la po. (L o: Will yo rally

lo yor oy ar loi 10 po? Or will r omi l all xi?) Rla yor or yor oy o prc.

Love Your PresentLo yor pr. Lo yor oy, ri ow, a i i. I yor i waii mo,waii o lo yorl ar yo o i ap, lo wi, a a acli, or rok a a ai, yor pi llo io r. Yor icoi woyo ar, ri ow. A saaya Roma ay, yor maki wo yo ar iaqa.

Tik o omo yo lo; ik o a mall cil. do yo lo m ay irlyi ir air r, or i yr cor i ir, or i ir oy i impl aro? no, w ally lo m mor or cowlick, iry ac, a roll.I wa mak m iq. I ir imprcio a ar m o .

I yor imprcio a ar ari. I a a crook o wi a iapm. I lo i; i ook a imprc, i mak m iq. I a rc


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mark o my ip, i, a lly. Ty ar ail rmir o or poplI ro io worl. My roa olr ar a i rom my ar: I ca looki mirror a im i m. My oy i my orapy; i a map o wr I, wr Im rom, a a compa o poi m wr I o o.

Yor orapy i yor map. Ca yo lo yor map o worl? Yor okay, ja yo ar. do yo ik yoll oly okay w yo ally lo ay wi?no, yor okay ri ow. do yo ik yoll oly okay w yor o lorro a pra? no, yor okay i i ry mom. do yo ik yoll olybe okay when you erase the wrinkles? No, youre okay just as you are.


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Step 11:Examine Your Triggers&

I p wo, I wro ao limiai or rci yor xpor o rir: oima, popl, or iaio a mak yo l aly ao yor oy. now a

yo ral om iac i yor accpac o yor oy, I li yor rayo xami o rir, o cor wy a ow y ook yo.

I i jmp io ak ri away ca yo proaly wr ray. Myr prioriy wa o rmo yor rir o i yo rai room: a acaio romo ai arpi a cima yor lm. now a yor ror, Ili yo ca ac o rir, a r m aro.

Step 11: Examine Your Triggers

do yo a yor li o rir rom p o? dii m io r pil:

1. PeopleAr r crai popl a mak yo l aly ao yor oy: coworkr,rlai, a irlri? I i a pro a criiciz yor oy or wo a criicizyor oy i pa? I i omo o wom yo (aoraly) compar yorl? Ii omo wo a r oy a mak yo l lik yo o joi i?

2. PlacesWa plac or rir yo? I i a acy ocial iaio, wr yo a owar mor ormal, or orm i cloi, a yo ally war? I i a i lik a coll or i cool rio, wr yo l iz p y yor pr? I i waria ai i? I i i room, wi yor lor? I i clo oppi a iyorl i ri room mirror?

Step 12: Include Yoursel in YourDefnition o Beauty

Nothing makes a woman more beautiul than the belie she is beautiul.-Sophia Loren


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3. Mediado crai acr mak yo l a? tv ow or moi? Wa ao maazi,arim, or wiow iplay? Wi? do yo p a lo o im compariyorl o clrii?

Look a yor li. do yo oic ay par? Ay orlap? how o yo l i yoroy? do o o crai ri mak yo l ay? do crai iaioca a i i yor c, a ri li o axiy, or mcl ii?Ta ra: ar cl. Yor oy i ii yo i, ioack: o mor oi; ay away rom a. Yor oy cl ca alo r a markr or ili a yor rir i moio.

My lima oal i o o iola yo rom yor rir: yo ca r away rom

worl. My oal i o loca raoi i yor rir, o yo ca iarmm. Yor rir ar oly al o ac yo a lo a y rc a iral lia yo lacki. I i mar, yor rir ar ipo, pipoii a(limi) iio o ay. W aor woma rir yo io li oa, li, or rmpi, i ca yor applyi r aar o ay oyorl, a omii yor oy i a iio. so o cor yo l a: yorcompario cra r, a mak yo l irior. Ti ca appar a a,i i c, axiy, prio, ar, ar, i, or y.

Ill i yo a xampl rom my ow li. I cora yo o apply am p

o yor rir, o cor al li a ai wi m.

My trigger: Vogue magazineI lo aio, a a ic I wa a irl. For yar, I rially ra oz o maazi,ry mo. I cor aio or a wpapr. b rroi myl wiima o xrmly i wom rir li o a a irioriy i m.

hr wa app, irally, w I ra vo: I wol a xrmly i,ail mol. T I wol look a myl a ik I wa a a ly ycompario. I wol look a ail clo, a ca y wr o rail i

wom, I wol ik a I col war o clo l I wa rail i, oo.Ti i compo y ac a I wa xrmly i a o mall poi o myli: w I wa a limic coll .

so my r wa ca o y mol ml y wa y rpr:a woma wo, i my mi, col war ayi. Ty alo rpr myl a a


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im w I li I col war ayi. vo my o lack: lack Il ca I o lor wa ick i woma mol rpr.

b l r my iki aro: Wa i I a myl prmiio o war iaio, i Im o a iz 2? Wa i I a myl prmiio o l I am aila my crr iz? T mol ar prolm. T clo ar prolm.T prolm i a I xcl myl rom omi a ri m rmo joya li.

My oy i prolm, ir. My o ao my oy ar cai m pai.My li a a woma i oly ail i r r i i a awl i wa ipri m rom ili my ir aioia.

T aio iry i alo o prolm. (I kow i a o o o wallow: my oc i o wa w ca caorlrar a wa w ca caor popl.) A ir may ay my oy i oo i or i clo. Wo car waa ir ik? Ta i iio o ay. hi opiio ca ic m olyi I l i. Ti la ri io:

Step 12:Rewrite Your Defnition o BeautyI orr o a yor ri, yo a o icl yorl i yor iio o

ay. Orwi, yoll l pai ry im yo look a yor oy i mirror;ry im yo o clo oppi; ry im yo irac wi or popl.

I yo o li yo ar a worwil, araci, xy, ail woma, oamo o pampri, xrci, or yli clo will ll a oi. Yo ca o ryi ri, a a a prc oy, a lo a a iral oic ay, no,yor o oo o, yo will alway rii, r ai. Yo will o , w yo ar a yor ial wi or a, ca yoll arai ayo wo ay r.

Tri li r: yo wo ay am. Or oi o ca. Yor iioo ay a o xil, o accp yorl a yor oy ca. Ca yo away o ply a complly lo a accp yor oy, a i i oay? Ca yo pai yor ir o x yorl, a rcoiz a yo ar o ay l or mor alal i yo lo or o r po? Ca yo li a yoll okay aaccpal i yo ai or o r po?


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Ca yo rla yor ampio ao ay? Ca yo ay i wa yoli i ly or araci ao yorl?

L look a om commo li: Yo a o i ap o look oo. gry aira wrikl mak yo look ol. Fa i araci. now ak yorl, wo ayo? Wo ay yo ca war a ikii? Wo ay yo ca o wimmi l yoa a prc oy? Wo ay all al ar kiy? Wo ay a woma look mo ail a r i a yo?

Mo o, i o wo ay o: i omo l ( mia, ociy, a oyri,irlri, amily, pr.) W imply coop ir li wio oppi oqio wr y ar or ow. Wa o yo ik? do yo ik a yorail? I look a my ay, wo i oally a a wi i oy. h li i

iml, i i lil a roll a impl a cy ck. h ik .

I wr lii wi a oa iio o ay, i w li w a o a wwr or wy yar ao, wr yi wo w ar i pr. W oxpc or mi, ram, paio, oal or li o a y wr yar ao.Wy o w ol or oi o c ma?

O my 30 iray, I raliz a I a lii y a oa iio oay or or a ca. My iio a all a wo I wa a 19. ery yarrar, I wa ryi o a 19 yar ol aai. b Im o 19. Im a 33yar

ol woma wo a or or cilr. My iio o ay o compawo I am oay, wi pa a I ral o com wo I am ow, i imom.

I a wir ip, I a rc mark, I a ay ra, a I a a poocylly. I am a woma. I a a woma oy. A Im okay wi a. Im o a ar. I o a a ar oy. I ca my ay i wo I am, wi oyI a, oay. Ca yo ay i wo yo ar, ri ow? Yo ar ail. Ikow i. I i. Ca yo?


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Step 13:How to Change Your ThoughtsChange your thoughts and you change your world.

-Norman Vincent Peale

I loi or oi i imply a mar o alri or o, a ra. b ow?how o yo ca yor o? I yo wi i oy ar or yar,r a lo o powr a momm i a aiiy. I ak iilac o wicar. Cai yor o may l lik ryi o o ik.

I o ry o corol my o a mc a I coo o a mak m lr. so w I l rmpy, I ca a w o lik, I am ail, wio mak p. Or, i a l oo ar c (a omim i o), I ca ay,I am okay, j way I am. Or, e o Im li rmpy ri ow, Iaccp myl. I ca o; I ca a mor poii o i Im oarori loi o ao my oy a mom.

I ir ook Ak a I i gi, er a Jrry hick ay a ky o caiyor o i o rac or x ir o. W mak miak o ry

i o o rom, Im o a a ly, o Im a ail o. T prolm wic a ia lap i a w o li i. I ryi o o oo mc a oc.

Cai yor o i lik worki yor way p a piral. sar wr yo ar,a i mom: May yo wok p i mori a l icky ca yor paar i. Or may yor rri r owl o ic cram yo a la i.so yor o wr yo wa o . W all a li; w all a momw wr o li or .

sar r, a ry o a o a l a lil i r. so ia

o, Im a a pi, ay, I ca mak alir coic oay. do a l r? T yo ca mo o, e o I a r owl o ic cram la i, Iply a complly lo a accp myl. T yo ca o o mor p p piral o, I mak coic a ppor my oy. T ak o mor p o, Ilo a accp my oy.


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Imai yor mal par lik a wao wl, ormi p r i roa rommil a mil o . Yor ryi o orm a w par, o ap a w orack. b i o o yor crr r will l mpy, rocky, a comoralwil yo mak raiio. Kowi i i o way o ppori yorl wilyo aop ay ca, icli yor o. Or im, yor w way o ikiwill air a air. Or im, yor ol par will l lik paki a orilaa, a yor w way o iki will co ar. O ay, yo willwak p a yor o wo criiciz yor oy, clra i.


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Step 14:Relax in Your Journey

Taking joy in lie is a womans best cosmetic.

-Rosalind Russell

Ri ow, yo may l a or liy. W i ar io yor pa, xami yor li ao yor oy, a may a ro p a aorm o pailmmori. Yor crr iaio may pail, oo: yo may l opl, likyoll r lar o lo yor oy.

Im r wi la ii. Im r o ll yo o ak i ay, o mak i ay, oo.how? A i a i am, i impora o rmmr r i:

1. Yor oy ima i ar a li.2. La a yorl: i i all pry y.3. Yor okay, wr yo lo yor oy or o.

The Gift of Hating Your BodyI li or , my am or or mli lock, r a ir prpo: o

lp row a ol. I yo ar lik arly ry woma I kow, loi yoroy i par o yor : omi a ali, car, a loiki.

b wil I am calli yo o al i par o yorl, I ak yo o o o wi aai o akl. b ral or yor oy ima i. b akl or ia. b ral or li a. Wy? bca i i go way o waki yo p oyorl: o owi yo yor r ar. I go way o i yo o payaio. I a i, i yoll accp i: yor a o row. Ia o laliyor oy ima i a ara, a ai, or omi a, look a i a ricoil, compo, o o wic yo will row yor ar.

I li ryi app or a rao. Tr i a rao wy arly ry womaa rl wi loi r oy, a o im or aor. Ia o lami oror i prolm, iori i, or wii w a a ir i, l mrac i aor ra opporiy or ca, row, a laccpac.


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Make a List of Your BlessingsWa oo a com o o yor oy ai? Wa lo a yo lar?how a yo row? A yo pror o yor jory, com ack o i li, aa w ii. s i or wa i i: a rr o wol.

Laugh at YourselfW all o m i. W all alo o m i ca w ilikor oi, ar ryi o lo wi, or ar wi oo mc ao or apparac.Wol yo lik o my li o m ?

I arly pa p a r rip o Floria ca I wa poair a I wa o .I o r or acy occaio (wi, i pariclar)

wo iz oo mall a ipiraio, oly o ri myl ryio lo wi o io m.I aoi crai or ca lii or ri roommirror ma m l a.I cli pary iiaio ca I i l co oi my apparac o o.I aoi opporii o ak my cilr wimmi ca Ii wa o war a ai i.I i o o wi irlri ca I wa iimia y irail clo a oy coc.

I i myl ac lo, omi a I aor, ca i waoo ar o wac myl i a mirror.I i away rom yoa cla ca I l lik i womai room.

My li i ar. I ar aior. now i ca ir ca lar, or ar.Im cooi o la. Wri o yor li. Ca yo la a yorl?

Lar i lai a al yo o ri ao yor crr iaio, owr yo l ao yor oy, a l joy o accpac. Lai a yorl

iarm yor ir arpy, yor ir criic. s may cram a moa a kick r, ryi o coic yo a yor a i a ay lly ar rally, rally,rally o worl. b i yo ca la a r arm, r wor ar powrl aai yo.

taki yor oy ima i oo rioly mak yor o ay a oppri.


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I yor iki oo ar ao yor oy, yor maki i mor ifcl a i o . T mi lik o mak i ar; i lik a prolm, ca ia omi o ol. Yo wa o opra rom yor ar, a rom yor piri:wr r i li, a a. Yo acia yor ar wi liy, mir, alar: joy. I yo ca la a yor oil, yo calirallyri ao m.A x im yo ar mp o qz io a r a wo iz oo mall?Yoll ia or wa i i: riiclo.

Completely Love and Accept YourselfI yo ar crrly ai yorl p ca yo ik yor oo a, oo ay,oo o o ap, oo ly, oo_______ (ll i lak r wi owr yo no oo o,) yo may ik a prolm li i yor oy. Yomay ik a i oly yo op orai/c o crai oo/ i ap/lo

wi/ a makor/ boox/ a oo jo/op moki/o o a i/ yor wi/ io a mallr iz yo will l okay. Wil, y, o imay ca yor aic, i yo a aj iral aromr, xral ca wo ma a i. no amo o pampri, primpi, or makpwill mak yo l oo. Pampri, primpi, a makp ar worl way ooo coc; i y ar o accompai y a aii o lo a accpac, ir powr will mporary a i.

Loi a accpi yorl ma rai a yor r wor o oca wi yor oy wi. Yo ar j a wory a 200 po a yo ar a

150 po, or 120 po. Loi a accpi yorl ma oi yorxpcaio. I lii a yo ar okay, wr yo lo yor oy or o. Ilii p, rai a wil yo wol lik o lo yor oy, yo arill a wory, worl ma i i yo o. uil yo ply accpyorl, i all yor icaraio, yo will mak loi yor oy o mor projc;o mor ak o accompli or yo will l wory o lo a rpc. so ia o ai yorl p or i a yor ai yorl p or li a.

I all oo. Yor all oo. J a yo ol wai o lo yor oy il aryo lo wi or o i or, yo ol wai o lo a accp yorl

il yo lo yor oy.

Accp yorl ow, wi all yor pccaillo, all yor crwp, all yor rror aola, cola, wola. Accp all yor oo mom, oo. Accp i all, a yorail maiy, a yor pa om.


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Step 15:Appreciate the Connection BetweenSel Care and Loving Your Body

Care is the actualization o love assumed.

-Doc Childre

A I i, l car a loi yor oy ar o a ar apar. how ar y rla?Tir apparac or ac i yor li i primarily ic y ow yo l aoyorl: yor al a l wor a a pro. slcar a oy lo ar mrlyaior, c, o ca. Ty ar ollowi yor iral li ym, oii i.

Wa ar ii yor aior ar yor iral li. I yo wa o lo yoroy, i yo wa o ay o o oliaio a la yo rai, i yo wa o amor joy o yor li, i yo wa o oor yor , yo m r a ormoli a yo ar wory o i. A yo li a yo ar wory oplar, joy, lo a accpac y mraci a yo ar wory, joyl, lo,a accp.

Y, i primarily a ii jo. I yo li yo ar a wory, loal ma i,

yo will mo likly li yor oy i wory a loal, oo. I yo liyo ar wory a loal, yo will ra yorl a omo wo i woryo lo a car. by cora, i yo ar ar, criical a mai owar yoroy, I will a yo ar alo ar, criical, a mai owar yorl.blii a yo o a iz or o wory i j o mor rio o li a yor ir i o prc o wory.

I yo a yorl p or aii po, yoll proaly a yorl p orri a ir or loi yor mpr wi yor cilr. Wy? T o arall work o or ir criic, wic o or wori il i p io

ry ara o or li: om, work, amily, a al.

I ik ao yar a I p ii, praly ryi o lo po.Wil I xrci piily (o mil or ry ilc prci i), api myl wi ri oo rricio, I alo i myl comor, car,riip, a rri. I ra my oy a I ra myl: arly. I ra


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or a I ra myl: arly. I wa prickly wi my amily a lo o,ca am criicim I irc owar myl I irc owar or.

Tak oo or rac o ca. toay, I ca corrlaio, ariopri o my jory o l lo: a I i myl prmiio o rli a joyoo, I i myl prmiio o rli a joy my or ary, ly iror xal cocio, plar, a joy.

A I rlax ao my wi a mr o cal, I rlax ao moy a mr i my ak acco.

A I rlax my xpcaio or wa I ol look lik, I rlax my xpcaio or

wa my o ol look lik.

A I rlax my prcioi aar or myl, I alo rlax my aaror my cilr, my a, a my amily.

A I l myl l ail, I l or wom ail, wio jaloy Iprioly l.

A I rr my oy wi oo oo, xrci, alo, ari clo, a pampri, I likwi rr myl wi jicy ol, aroo ap, irlri im,

a wiowoppi.

A I ply a complly lo a accp my oy, wi i qirk, imprcio,a lmi, I am alo al o complly lo a accp or wi ir qirka imprcio. A I lo my oy, I lo myl; a I lo myl, Ix a lo owar, o or. I a piral o ca a o my o,qi my jm, a cra pacl rlaioip wr roor wa ricio.

A I lo myl, I lo my oy. A I lo my oy, I lo myl. A I lo myl, Ilo or; I lo my li. I a mally rciprocal roa, wic x iwar,

owar, a ally, pwar, rawaki ac o o or r, ii ar.


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Step 16:Embrace Your Stu

The diculties o lie are intended to make us better, not bitter.

-Author Unknown

Hating your body is a spiritual issue. Although it maniests in the physical, its rootsstem rom a denial o the spiritual: your innate goodness, worthiness, and divinity.Your body is simply the message, the vessel, the container or the lack o worthinessyou eel.

The more I travel on the path o accepting my body, the more I understand this truth:hating your body is no dierent than any other stumbling block. They share a commonpurpose: theyre all pathways to our deeper selves, our spirits. In the end, were onlyhere to learn how to love, both ourselves, and others. What greater reason or liethan love itsel? What greater reason to cherish your body, your vehicle or love?

When I was in the thick o my body image struggle, rustrated at how this issue keptreappearing in my lie, I was exhausted by my inner tapes: the tapes that told mewhat to eat or what to look like. I was equally tired o trying to transorm my tapes

into something positive.

What I really wanted was to stop thinking about my body at all. I wanted to escaperom my stu. Why couldnt I deal with alcoholism, or a difcult relationship ora while? You may laugh at me, but I share this story to demonstrate how the grass isalways greener: even someone elses pain looks better than your own.

My message is to embrace your stu as your greatest teacher. When I embraced mybody image stu, welcoming its lessons, I ound my gold: a connection with my spirit.

My connection had been severed, or years. We are born craving that connection.Without it, we wither and all prey to lies. My lie was that I had to be skinny, young,beautiul---perect---to be acceptable. Underneath my desire to accept my body wasmy desire to accept mysel. When I welcomed my body image issues, oering myselup to the lessons they had to teach me, I reclaimed my spiritual connection.


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And heres the breathtaking genius o it all: I I had never hated my body, I neverwould have ound my peace. My void might still be empty. I could still be searching.

What a git.

Hating your body is God waking you up, bringing attention to your void. Until youfll that void, it wont matter how many pedicures you get, or how many pounds youlose: youll never be satisfed. Until you fll that void, youll never eel beautiul...or long.

That is why I believe this work, loving your body, is important. Its about discoveringyour true worth. Its about flling your void with something lasting, and somethingtrue. Its about uncovering the inner radiance, to match the outer.

I you hate your body, embrace it as your pathway to your spirit, your higher sel.Dont question your issues. Dont wish or a dierent one. Its all part o the perect,unolding plan, to bring you back to yoursel. Beating yoursel up with statementslike, Why do I care so much about what I weigh or what I look like? Its vain andselfsh, is counterproductive. Because it does matter. I matters because these eelingsare holding you back, shielding you rom your true worth.

Instead o looking at your body image issues with ear, anger, or disgust, embracethem with compassion. Approach yoursel with curiosity: Why do I eel this way?

What belies do I harbor that cause me to believe such lies?

Follow the questions. Dont demean this work as trivial. I body hatred is consumingyour thoughts and keeping you rom experiencing the ull measure o who you are, itmatters. I its preventing you rom being happy in the present moment, its worthy oexploration, time and attention.

It takes courage to ace who you are: to ace and release the lies that hold you back.I body hatred is holding you back, accept it as a glorious invitation: an invitation todive into yoursel.


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Step 17:Be Willing to Be Vulnerable

We all need somebody to talk to. It would be good iwe talked... not just pitter-patter, but real talk. Weshouldnt be so araid, because most people really likethis contact; that you show you are vulnerable makesthem ree to be vulnerable.

-Liv Ullmann

O o o iiio lil li a kp lock ay a i popl kw a wrally ar, i y aw wio ay lr, y wol accp .

Ti i coi o li a ay yor oy i accpal l i prc: a ai, ial wi, wrikl, lmi, airl, o, mcl, a poli.

Aor rio o li i a yor cilr m wll a a all im. Ora yo m wll a a all im.

Ti li ca mak yo ia: Yor ir m Foo nwork wory; yor

o, lik Mara. Yor oy, a mol; yor pirialiy, Mor tra.

I a li a kp yo rom accpi yorl. I a li a kp yo romli, il.

Im iii yo o rop li. b willi o lral. b o. b ral. sripo mak, a l popl wo yo rally ar.

Ill war yo: i i li cai.

hoy a lrailiy, yo , ar xcll llow; ac i ic y or. A yo com mor o, rali wol r ao yorl, yo alocom mor lral. Yor rippi o yor armor, xpoi yorl o orli a arrow.

W I a Fir Orl, I wa iiially comoral i o op. My


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oy l lik walki aro wio ki. b i a ry willi o rala a ra a cocio a rpo wi or wom. Im o rjc yor ca o my oy; Im accp ca o i. Ti i r o oly or m.Tik o rli yo l w omo wom yo alway amir, omoa yo look o a piom o prc mom, woma, wi, ral r wak. do r lrailiy mak yo lik r mor, o l?

W all a ma o. W all j or. W all ca py, orii al aor. Wa a rli o kow a wr o alo; a wr o oly owo ik i way. how ic o kow a wr all i i, or.

O or i o lrailiy awai a prcio commoiy: rom. T r yo r i may way. O a pracical ll, oy cra rom ca yo

ar xpi im a ry corci a al ro. Yo o a o rmmr yor ory, or prop p yor li wi ackp.

b, mor imporaly, r yo r y rlai yo rom am. Wi r o orl ca wr aam y i. Wr aam o or crcorr; o ark ai a mar or iiiy. I wy w i or aicio, orar, a or op a ram. b pi o ai a ram o i op, wr ryo ca m, i wa rla am. W yo ow all owo yo ar oo, a aam iappar.

I ral i all; my ai iorr, my prio, my orai, my oy ar. I ral i all ca I ow i all. I ol o am aai myl. A caI ol o am, I o l lral i ari my ory. Yo ca call m o ayi, ay pic o my pa or pr, a I wo ic. I o r rom wom I am.

Yo , i owi wo I am, i accpi r ao myl, I alo accp arar r: T ral m, ral Karly, i orar, oy ar, pri. T ral m, my piri, i o mc rar a a. I am o my ai. Iam o my o. I am o my aior.

Yo ar ir.

Im r o accp my mli lock, j a I am r o accp my iiiy. Imr o lo or coiioally; o accp ir mli lock, a ir iiiy.

bi lral, yo , will ca yor worl. I will pli yor ar wi op;


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i will ar ow wall a para yo rom or. somim, ro i worl, o all o o aci, loly ol a cro yor pa, will ri yoo ar. bi lral will ma yoll cry mor, yoll la mor, a yoll xpric ryi i rar p. bi lral i rally ao o i: iwilling to love.


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Step 18:Trust Your Instincts

Sel-trust is the rst secret o success

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

somo po i qio o m yray: how o yo kow wa o a?For ry i, r a corpar, claimi i oppoi. Likwi, ow o yokow wic xrci proram yo ol ollow? Wa ao pplm?Alrai mici?

W ar ora o li i a im o mlipl opio or al car, oo, aliyl. b or p o coic ca alo la o orwlm.

For yar, I wa a i ook jki; I ra a ri m all. I wa a ckr or maazi cor a proclaim, Lo 10 po i ay. Or, T bFoo o Fi dprio. di wr op i a ook: ally, I a a olio omy prolm.

uil.... i i proc iraa I o, a op r o rraio;, o pair.

T alrai wa ri myl o kow wa o a, w o xrci, or kowi wr or o my ial wi wa raliic a aaial. (T o, yo, wol a m o a coa i/ay rim il I wa prc, a , i wol ai.)

I kw ri myl wa way o o. I alo kw, lik la i, i wayo lii wol ri m pac: pac rom my o corol my oy, a iir. b i proc wa cary. I l riky, or i I o r myl o o

mak ppori coicrlyi o my iral iacow ca I ri wio xral iac; oo li, i pa, a mal ili?

b i i xacly rik a I a o ak. I ml po i qo: Proralway iol rik. Yo ca al 2 a a kp yor oo o r.


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I ook m a lo im o wic rom xral iac o iral iac. I ao l o o my riiiy: my xrm xpcaio or my oy (oly a iz 4 will o),my oo coic (Yo ca r a car!), a or myl i ral (yor a amor wr yo lo i wi yor cilr.)

I p mo ri rom o xrm o or, wr I l myl a warI wa o, ca I col, maki coic a i mak m l oo (irala io lo a lo o ar.) T I wol l o aly a I wol ro or xrm, wic ma oi ack o oo li a i rricio.now, I o a aly alac. Mo ay, I wak p, a ak myl wa I wao a. I I wa o r, I r. I I o, or i Im rally ir, I o orc myl. Imy pa ar i, I ca m: I o rak o ao a w xra po or li r omi wro wi m. (Wa ar wro ar pa, o my oy.)

Wa rmarkal ao i way o lii i ow mc I o ik ao oo,calori, my apparac, my oy, my iz, or my look. I am rmarkaly comoral i r o makp or a airo or mc o im, coraici myarlir aic o kpi myl wll room a all im.

Wa a app, i a a I r myl, I lo myl. A I lo myl, I accpmyl. A I accp myl, I am comoral wi myl. Ti ma I o l a o ca myl o l okay ao wo I am: al op I o i all oo oz o i.

T cool i ao i proc i ow ri myl wi my oo a alai carri or io ry or ara o my li. A I rlax ao my wi, Irlax ao my my o. A I rlax ao oi o a pary wi orioo aply, I rlax ao ai a pary ll o iimiai popl. A Irlax ao my oo coic, I rlax ao my or coic.

I a ail, ymioic circl a loom a row a xpa wi ac ro wl. Lari o r myl o mall i al m o r myl wi i i: ciio yo cick . rioo; coic a ar o omc ao wa I a, or ow I l, ao ow I li my ry li.


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Step 19:Use Love as Your Motivation to Change

People who have a sel-image o worth are going tosee value in what they do. This is the attitude thatmotivates them to be and to do their best. Its a drivethat comes rom within people.

-William Walton

May wom wo wa o lo ir oi, myl icl, o ao i ackwar:y ra i a a w propoiio: W I lo wi, Ill lo my oy.Ti mak or a ar, ar roa.

I yo wa o cra lo or yor oy, a aai pac a com wi i, oo ai way o mai i ir i o ik ao c o wa yowa; o aac o or orm i wic i appar. Ti ma li oo a mr o a cal, a cloi iz, or a wrikl r ac. Ia, i raa ir or a rlooki oy (owr yo i) o c owa yo wa.

Wa c? I ik wa yo rally wa i laccpac. Wa yo rallyir moiaio i wi or wi lo, a mor yol complx

io, or a o oyi o l oo. to look i mirror a lik wa yo .to o clo oppi a l rric. to rolic o ac i yor ai iwi a. to o o a pary ll wi or wom a o l io or lacki icompario.

hr kickr: o li a aolly oi o o wi wa yo i mirror. To li a ryi o o wi wa i yor a. I ik ow I look my pyical , a la accori o hollywoo aar, wI wa a macia 19 yar ol. di I l pry? um, o: I ill a a lo li oi o x or I l i a ail. by cora, w I l moail i ar ii ir o my cilr, w Im ak, yl, ay,way, a makp r.

hr oo w: Yo ca i yorl o li o oy lo wioloi wi, i a ac li, or ii yor . Yo ca i yorl oli y loi a accpi yor oy a i i, ow.


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hr r w: by ii yorl c o wa yo wa, r, yoroy will arally coopra a ol o i l: yo a yo ca. I yo ar or or rwi, yor wi will ailiz a i aral poi: plac wr yor oy look i . I yor oy look icky rom poor al ora ai, i will com mor ail ro llo, a a rl o yor rloi car a oo ai.

how? L m xplai.

I all a mar o moiaio: Ar yo ryi o look yor i orr o compwi or wom? Ar yo pri al or apparac oly, or aiy? Ar yowilli yorl, i yorl, i a or o corol yor ai, corol yorai, or corol yor oy? I yor o i car?

I li i wayr m o my o, my aiy, a my o ra or. I wa kp m , ryi o a iz 4; ryi o lo my ay wia qickly a poil; ryi o ca o pracy, a, a moroo.

Compar o moiaio o o a com rom lo, yor ir l; moiaio a ar ri y yor ir oo: gii yorl o orii, licio, aly oo a or riio a plar. A oy a lo o a apprcia, wr i i pyicaliy or i xaliy. A ir o l yor iray i owar. A aly apprciaio or yor or pyical ay, y r

o clii or aacm; xil o accp ca a com.

do a o lik a r way o li? do i l rr, mor joyl?

vaiy, yo , i a rril moiaor, ca i r, r ai. T will iay r: orci yorl o o omi a yo rally o wa o o, ororci yorl o o omi a arm yor oy, ca r la or lorm. T o i wor, ca i kp yo arl a roic: i yolo wi or boox, i will immialy ar arpi a ri or rai o lo po or rr o row li.

how o yo o i rack? tap io c o wa yo wa. sp immiai o wa loi yor oy l lik: Ca yo rmmr a im w yol okay ao yor apparac? si wi o li il yo l m i yoroy. bri ao c a l i: i yor , yor ar, a yor mi.now, ca yo i yorl a i, a c o accpac a llo, o yoroy a i i, ri ow, i i mom?


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Ta i lo. Followi lo, o yor will, i qick, ai pa o caiai a arm yor oy. I yo lo yor oy, a lo yorl, looki yor will app arally, oraically, wio xraoriary amo o will aor. Yo wo o moiaio o xrci, or a oo a mak yo loo: yo will aomaically o i a a coqc o llo. Yo wo yorl wi oo il yo l ick. Yo wo ar yorl, ir. Yo willi yor oy wa i wa: a ariy o oo a xr. Mor imporaly,yoll r yorl o i yorl i, a ilc criical oic ao alliic w yo joy a pic o pizza.

A yo r yorl, a oor yorl, a ra yor oy lik prcio crar a i i, i com a rlar par a yor l lo, il i coma mally cial cycl: a yor l lo row, yor l car icra; a

yor l car a l lo icra, yor oy look r a r; a a yoroy look ra, yo l mor lo owar yor oy, a yorl, wic olyicra yor l car.... T a ail i app: yor oy will iaral poi/qilirim: wr i look i , a a arally, oli coqc o ki. J a a o a i lo a car or will look i , a yora yorl kily, yor oy i rom lo a car yo ow po i.

W lo i yor moiaio, yoll kow wr o lo wi, ai wi, amor, a l, xrci mor, xrci l. Yoll kow w yor oy a ayo, a yoll r, ia o pi yorl o llipical maci. Wa

r i a yoll al o r wio yor ir criic/akmar oi aywir:(Yo o o o ym or yoll a!) Yoll kow wr yo ar loiyorl or yo ar rai yorl. (brai yorl i oi omi cayo ik yo olca yo l lik yo a o. Loi yorl i oiomi ca yo wa o.)

Wic o yo coo: will, or ar? vaiy, or accpac? har, or lo?


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Step 20:So What I You Want to Lose Weight? Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air,

drink the drink, taste the ruit, and resign yourselto the infuences o each.

-Henry David Thoreau

I p 19, I wro ao i lo a yor i i lpi yor oy l a looki . Ti ri m o a qio a I ar o: so o loi my oy maI ca lo wi? Wa i I am a, a o/wa o lim ow? Wa i I amaly? do loi my oy ma I ca alo work o ca i?

T ar oo qio. Wil I limaly li a oly o wo caawr wr or o yo ol ro a wi lo, makor, or aiaiproram i yo, yorl, a yo; I will or ow I awr i qio or myl.

My or awr i: Y, yo ca lo yor oy a wa o ca i. (I promi: Iam o oy or oo polic.)

My lo awr i: Y, yo ca lo yor oy a work o ca i. b yo willcc (a xpric all o oo li a yo imai comi wi

ca) oly i yor moiaio com rom yor ir ri: rom yor irwill, yor ir moio, a yor ir l.

Your Higher WillI alray wri ao i yor ir will i p 19, o Ill oly oc o iriy r. b i o yor ir will i i: yor ir will i oprai romyor iiio, yor ar, a yor piri. Cora i wi yor o, yor will, oryor mi: yor lowr will. T irc i wai o (yor ir will) rai o (yor lowr will); col r ol. W yo ar oi omica yo l a i yo m, wio ay ral lo or ir i yor acio, yo

ally rl, maii i laoa. Mawil, yor l wori wyyo o ick o yor xrci roi or wy yo ora, w yor o oco wai o aly.

My pa i o yor ir willappi io yor iral wiom a wawa i or yoia o yor lowr will par o yo a l a i i a


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o o omi. I alii yor ir wi yor ir will, o a yoarally car or yor oy xcllly (ii i propr r, riio, xrci, c.)a a aral coqc o lo. T rl i am: ai a cra xcll al a ay. b moiaio i ir. I moiaio a willmak aior o lai a aapal, o a yo ca a x wi ca o yor oy wil maiaii a i ll o lcar.

Your Higher Emotionsb r mor o pzzl a j yor will. I r ook exc M, Yor Lii Waii, aor Ly graor wri ao amazi powr o or moio:ow y rai or lowr or iraio o ap or xpric.

Ti xplai wy o may wlliio xrci or aly ai proram o

aci lai rl. how may ar moia y lo, a ow may ar moia y ar, ar, ar, or i? I ry commo o ar ao a woma woci o lo wi ar raci r raki poi, wr wa p wi rwi a wa o ca. I orwi, a I rmmr o li oi oo ay: I l axio, a, criical, wory, a a lil oi.

T r i i r o look i mirror a o lik wa yo . b i alo ra i pai or aiiy i yor moiaio or ca, yo wo ai lormpac a yo k. sr, yo may lo wi. b will i la? e i i o,will yo l llo, accpac, a pac, or will yor wi lo morp io a

q o lo mor po, a w mor wrikl, a w mor yar? Will yo rly ai? Will yo oly lo yor oy?

Ti i wy loi yor oy i oly way o moia yorl o ca yoroy: i comi rom a ir ry, rom a ir iraio, o rom lowrri o a, i, criicim, or roicim. Ti i wy yo ca a yora or yor wrikl or war or yo ao yor oy a xpc i oca. ui or will, or i, or am, or ar wo i wa wrally wao l oo ao or apparac, a orlca liar comi rom a i ry or a i plac o i wi: y ar comi rom

or lowr ar.

I lik ryi o mak a licio pi o o ro appl: o mar ow mcar or r yo a, i i a cr oraic r, yo ra, yor pi will ill a rril. similarly, yo ca mak yorl l ooao yor oy wio comi rom a plac o lo a accpac. Ta wy yo ca


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li a ym, p col ollar o xpi ay ram, a a a i warro o iz 4, a ill l rril a iaqa: yo o ro appl.

Your Higher Selfhr ow yo a oo appl: ar wi a w o a r rom r.T r i orc; yor orc, go, uir, yor al, yor hir sl,war yo call i. T appl ar oo li a ow rom a ro, moicocio o yor orc, ri o piri: ki, l, rac, lo,joy, a rai.

I i cocio a wr all rally ki, cocio a mai a olicio, worl ri. Ti cocio i wa i mai, prpo, apaio o or li. Ti cocio al o coc wi ac or, o o

o ar plac o orl, a op or ar wi o or llow ma ia lo w lar i maki orl lral.

W wr icoc rom orl, or piri, w ar mpy l a car ll. Yo may ik yor i prolm, o; ral prolm lipr. Yo may lo wi or wrikl, wrr yo o, r yo ar:yor ill ck wi yorl. I yo ca lo a accp yorl i all yor ac,a i all o yor i, yo will r a pac. Yo will alway a a oi a lli.

Loving Your Body Into Changeso i yo ar, i, wai o ai r al or ay, I ay: o or i. b oor i i a way a i yo wa yor rally ki: lo a accpac. so lo,lo, lo, lo, lo a accp yor oy ow, a i i. Lo yor wrikl, yor aroll, yor rc mark, yor r i, a yor poy ki. Fi omipoii ao i a ral.

I lo my rc mark. I kow a o o wall, I o. Ty ar ailrmir o om o my appi mmori: poria o oli my wor

ai i my arm. Or oy par a arr or m o lo, lik my roaolr. b I rmmr wo a m my olr: my ar. I lo myar. so I por all o li o lo a rai a accpac a I lor my ar a irc m o my olr.

Wa ao yo? how ca yo lo o apc o yorl a ar prc, or


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a yo ik cai?

When you approach change rom a place o love and acceptance, then you haveaccomplished one o the greatest challenges in attracting what you want: the abilityto let go. I you can let go o your attachment to looking a certain way, and can eelgood about your body in many dierent incarnations, then you have a much greaterchance o obtaining the essence o what you want: eeling good in your physical skin.That, my dears, is what were all really ater, in the frst place. Find that, and you willhave won your body war, because whats on the outside will be secondary to whats in.


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Step 21:Know Your True Value

Beyond any reasonable doubt, we each share the ancient

name o God in our bodies in the most intimate wayimaginable. Each ber o muscle, each crystal o bone,the tears that we shed all are God.

-Gregg Braden

hr i ilmma o ay: ery woma wa o l ail, pry aaraci. Ti i a aral ma ir, a w alo cra lo, aac, a joy.Y, or ir or ay ca alo ca pai a ri. I w ik a or

oy a o look a crai way o ail, wr or oy o maci iral imaw w ai a w, or mor a a w, po; w orki lop wrikl, a po, a ai; w wr kmp a owy ior wa or ol ray clow l ioa, lacki, a axio, ca orxral packa o mac iral criria. W i app, w ol ail, a i pai morp io a iaial rl. I i rla ri io arm o w i ook, plaic ro, oppimall, a l lp ook, a limprom proram, or a pirial r.

Wa wr looki or i awr; wr o opl a wll ally

i a will p ack or aai. All o i, oppi, ii,kia may ormporarily qll i rl. Ty a or axiya icomor wi pr mom, wr w ar o pra o ca wai, wr w ar, a wa w look lik, a w will rap a ayi o a comoral li.

T prolm i a rl a mporarily aa? I rr. T w oa ma l o pry, or kiy? O ay i o work aymor. I aai or pill; w look i mirror a w ca or mi: or kiy ja makor look i, o mall. T i op worki. Or i o work, a w

a loi o xra 10 po o mak l ay r. so w o lo10 mor. A mor. A mor. W may aci owar ccw acli i moo li i mporary. Wa app w yo wayo wa a yo o a i o ri yo appi a pac ayo o?


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so wa o w o? W a oo li, iki a prolm i a w o o moror yrow api; w o li wi i aiio o cario; a wa ao a w airc? o ralizi a or mo i wa aal, a o x o i applicaio.

My ri, wa wr rally oi i paii a ri o. W ar i raliy. W ar ryi o corol omi a ca coroll, a or impocri ma. Or oi ar ri. Ty o o la. Ty will ca a morpa a a omay i. Ta i r or yo, a or m, a or ryo.

b i i alo r a w ar o or oi. Or or iicaio wi or oii wa ca i rmo pai i r plac. W ar pirial i. Orr ar i or immoral piri, a a o o i. I w ca i or cocio

, a orla oror wo y rally ar, oy p y wayi, a yo will li a amaz a ow lil yo ik ao yoroy a all.

I kow i o coraicory. Ar all, o o r p I ai, (a o o r i a I i w I wa ryi o ca ow I l ao my oy), i omak or o r. I yor li aly ao yor oy or yor lima, aki im o aml a ari o, ak a owr, a room yorair a ac ca mak all o irc. I a prk a ca oo yor piri ioa ir plac, wr yo l r ao yorl. I li i i a alal rick,

a o a a i plac.

b, i my xpric, r com a im a plac wr yo a o comoral wi wom yo ar, wio xral rappi, wio ai o ayir a yo ar i a mom. Yo a o com o a poi o accpacao wa yor pyical oy ca, a ca o. (Y, i ca look ail. b o,i ca mak p or li o wori.) Yo a o com o a poi o accpac ao wa a w y aow or a o jo ca a ca o. Wa ica o i i yo a mporary oo. Wa i ca o i or prma pac.

I ca or prma pac ca, a eckar toll wri, a ma ar irwi. T rlpac ao or apparac, or oi, aorlca wai il : w yo aci yor oal wi; wyo o yor mmy; w yo ra wrikl. I a o a par o proc. Ti ma li oo ao yorl a yor apparac o mar wayo i mirror.


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how o yo o i? Yo o i y rlai yor aacm o looki a crai way.

Ti i all w rriory or m. For mo o my li, I ilik, a, a i accp my oy. I wa i o ir. I l aam or i r a i ir. Iwa marra y i xaliy a i maiy. I wa comoral i ail, i ly, a i ayi i w.

b ay, mc o im, wa I oic i a compl ac o my oo my oy i all. I j o ik ao i. I am rmarkaly comoral irmp Mom; mo ay I am mor cocr wi wrii, oi or a r, or coci wi my cilr a aki 30 mi o owr, yl my air, ap o makp. Ti i o o ay a I o joy i ray w I ak im o o o. La Friay i, I p o om jwlry, a pry o, a room

myl or a ir. I joy li mii a pry.

T irc i a I wa aac o i. T x ay, I wor my wa aackl ool cor all ay. I i l pry, I i l aly ao ica I i o l pry. Im iki o wa Lao tz wro, i T taoo Pac, ow gra rol com rom o kowi wa i o. gra coicari rom wai oo mc. W w kow w o i o, r willalway o.

Kowi w o i o i kowi a yo ar okay a loal a

prcly accpal a, y, ail, wr yo a zi o yor ac or wriklor ray air or wr yo rial a prmol. Kowi w o i o ili oo ao yorl o mar wa rio o yo yo i mirror.Kowi w o i o i i al o i wi yorl, i i prmom, wio ai o r away rom rl a wol a yo li a yo ar okay, j a yo ar.


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Final Thoughts, & a

Final Step:Pass it On

Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness,to pull another hand into the light.

-Norman B. Rice

A yo al yor oy ima, i c will rrra roo yor li. Yo will a ca woma. Yo will r a clar: r o accp yorl, a or,wio coiio. Yo will a aco, illmiai pa or wom wo willollow i yor oop. Yo will a woma o pac.

Wil I cora yo o mak loi yor oy a lcar iral par o yorli, Im o lli yo o op r. W ar coaly rowi, oli, axpai. A yo mo rom oy ai o oy accpac, l worl kow.sar yor kowl wi or wom. eca yor ar a ic.Proclaim yor icory. Pa i o.

A , i ack.

Mo pirial raiio cora ir mmr o i: o i away a porio o

ir aac (moy, al, a im) o pirial ca a o i . I apowrl pracic. gii wio ay xpcaio cra li o rai, aac, a joy. tii coc yo o yor ir l, y ri a a rmir aall a yo a, limaly, com rom go. I alo ali yo wi yor irprpo: i a cck o a ca a pak o yor p l cra iriy,ca i maci yor aior o yor li.

Aac com i may orm. hal i o. Joy, aor. From. dp acompl accpac o ol: a i ric, i. A yo com o a plac opac ao yor oy, oo, a yor lwor, I cora yo o i yoraac y lpi or wom o am. A yo i ack a lp or,i cra a rippl c: ha yo ar o Malcolm glawll ook T tippiPoi? h cri a poi i im wr a ia ar o momm ai c ca o a mai ll. Wa app w w rac ippi poi,w o wom lo ir oi o c a raormaio? W ca worl. W o wom lo a accp ml, a o li y a


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o x o okay, lil irl a yo will rai i a amopr wr y will al o lo a accp ml. Wom wo lo aaccp ml will lory i ir oi a y a; o r a worry a pick air oi or cai.

b ii o or ir, a wll a rcir. A yo cora wom o ir q, i i yo r o coi o yor ow jory. Yo willa ay w o ol amiliar a li will crp io yor cocio. Wall o. hlpi aor i a powrl aio o a ypr oc o o ow oy.I i mai i my ow li: a I wri a cora or, I ,a wll.

so ow o yo i ack? how o yo i omi iail, lik llo or

oy accpac?

Here are some suggestions:Ar yo o o o wom wo kow ow o look oo? Ar yo a makppro? do yo a kowl ao color a cloi, a ow o ar yoroy yp? Or o lp aor woma r yl.

Cla o yor clo, jwlry ox a makp rawr. Ta lipick yo oa r wor? May i wol look mai o a irlri. Rla cloa accori a o or ar yo: oa m o a ri or, a

woma lr, dr or scc, or o a woma wom y o ar. Parow yor warro o wa yo acally war, o wa yo aor, a o walook oo o yo, i ma wiowi yor clo ow o a w coic. Ii i wi my clo o mmr, a i wa o o i I ro. Alo my mmr warro wa par, i r wa a rz:ryi i my clo cooria or, a, a mor imporaly, I aomi o war ryay a I rally lik.

A yo i yorl w clo, ay ram, a or pampri, ra wom i yor li, a wll. I lo ii my irlri a amily i

crica o a aori cloi or, or a picr a a pa or a pr.

Complim or wom. I mak i a ai o complim a la o womaa ay. Wom, a ir wor, ca compii a crl: w iw orwom a a ra o or lm. b w ca all ail, ccl, amai. Tr o o o aro. Yor ay o rac rom aor


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woma, a r ay o rac rom yor. O o ai way oam li o y i o orcirci m. Ta woma wo a killroy a ym? Complim r o i. Yor ior wo a a warro acol rial a ociali? Prai r or i. Yor irilaw wo alway maa olook pll or, wi mall cilr i ow? Ak r ow o i.Mak woma wo a i all yor ri, o yor my.

W a woma criiciz r oy, or i iail owar r apparac,oo r p

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Book Heal Your Body Image