Bonus Games for Advanced Skills - PrufrockI might ask you to use the cue card (see Figure 3) to help you remember how to describe the skill. And, most important, I’ll ask you to

P r u f r o c k P r e s s I n c .W a c o , T e x a s

Wendy Ashcroft, Ed.D., Angela M. Delloso, and Anne Marie K. Quinn

Bonus Games for Advanced Skills

Copyright © 2013, Prufrock Press Inc.

Edited by Lacy Compton

Layout design by Raquel Trevino

No part of this book may be reproduced, translated, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilming, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America.

At the time of this book’s publication, all facts and figures cited are the most current available. All telephone numbers, addresses, and website URLs are accurate and active. All publications, organizations, websites, and other resources exist as described in the book, and all have been verified. The authors and Prufrock Press Inc. make no warranty or guarantee concerning the information and materials given out by organizations or content found at websites, and we are not responsible for any changes that occur after this book’s publication. If you find an error, please contact Prufrock Press Inc.

Prufrock Press Inc.P.O. Box 8813Waco, TX 76714-8813Phone: (800) 998-2208Fax: (800) 240-0333http://www.prufrock.com

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About the Bonus Games for Advanced Skills

The games that follow are extensions on the 10 games included in the book Social Skills Games and Activities for Kids With Autism. The games here teach more advanced social skills to students. We utilize the same framework for these games as those in the book, with six steps for students to master each social skill: play, talk, act, use, explain, and adjust. Each section of the games that follow contains a chart with a piece of the puzzle framework used and an explanation of each step.

Figure 1 allows you to track the progress of your students as they master the five advanced social skills taught in this bonus section.

2 I Social Skills Games and Activities for Kids With Autism

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Skill #11: Understanding the Perspective of Others

STEP 1Play—Earning the First Puzzle Piece With Pin the Tail on the Donkey

Framework Step The Teacher Will: The Children Will:Step 1 PLAY

Teach the children to play the game that requires the use of the targeted social skill.

Use the targeted social skill in a fun and engaging game.

Use the game Pin The Tail on the Donkey to teach the skill of understanding the perspective of others. Print a donkey cutout for use with the game. You can find one, along with printable donkey tails, at http://www.printablegamesatoz.com. To set up the game:

1. Post the donkey on a bulletin board or magnetic board.2. Create tails and add pins, tape, or magnets.3. Get a blindfold (or manila folder to hold in front of the child’s face).

Directions for play. To play the game:1. Ask for a volunteer to start.2. Blindfold the player.3. Hand the player a tail and direct the player to put the tail on the donkey. 4. Instruct the other children to give directions to help the player find

the correct spot. 5. Steps 2 and 3 are repeated until all of the children have had a turn.6. The child whose tail was closest wins the game.

Variations. You can get really creative and fun with this game to reflect the interests of the children, with games like Pin the Parrot on the Pirate or Pin the Astronaut on the Moon.

Teaching the game. For quick learners or experienced players, explain:

You’ll wear a blindfold for this game so you can’t see. When you are the player, your goal is to listen to your friends and follow their instructions.

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Start walking and let them tell you which way to go. When you get to the board, reach out and let them tell you where to place the tail. When you are giving instructions, think about the player and what the player needs to know to put the tail in the right place.

For early learners or new players, explain: “When you are the player, your goal is to listen to your friends and follow their instructions.” Then demonstrate how the game works for children. Pick up a tail and put on a blindfold. Ask a colleague to provide instructions to help you locate the correct position on the donkey. Walk and let your colleague provide directions to the board. When you get to the board, reach out and let the colleague tell you where to place the tail.

Now explain to the children that when they are giving directions, they should think about what the player needs to know: “You can tell the player to go forward or backward or left or right. When the player gets to the board, you can tell the player to go up or down or left or right.”

Play the game many times, giving the children plenty of practice providing directions. When possible, have the children start from different areas of the room, navigating around obstacles.

Challenge for Step 1. Tell the students they have the challenge of giving spe-cific and clear enough directions to each person, so that person will be able to pin the tail on or very near where it belongs on the donkey. Tell them, “Once you have helped provide specific and clear directions 10 times, you can trade in your card for a prize and puzzle piece #1!” You can use the chart in Figure 2 to help track their progress.

Celebration Ceremony for Step 1. Provide a celebration ceremony by hand-ing children their puzzle pieces to put on their own puzzle frames. Make sure there are plenty of opportunities for clapping, cheering, and giving high fives! Select accompanying tangible reinforcers such as small pieces of candy, stickers, stamps, or a short period of sensory activities.

I helped my friends pin the tail on the donkey! I gave 10 clear, specific, helpful directions.

Figure 2. Pin the Tail on the Donkey token economy chart.


STEP 2Talk—Earning the Second Puzzle Piece

Framework Step The Teacher Will: The Children Will:Step 2 TALK

Teach the children to name the social skill and say when it should be used.

Name the skill and, given a hypothetical situation, tell when it should be used.

Start a discussion about the skill of understanding the perspective of others: “Remember when we played Pin the Tail on the Donkey? What happened in that game?” If necessary, prompt answers such as:

� We wore blindfolds. � We pinned on the tails.

Follow up by asking, “And, when you were the player, how did you know where to pin the tail?” If necessary, prompt answers such as:

� We listened to our friends. � We followed directions from our friends.

Then ask children, “When you gave directions, how did you know what to say?” If necessary, prompt answers such as:

� We watched where the player was going. � We saw where the player needed to go. � We could see the donkey and we could see the player.

Explain to children that this skill is called “understanding the perspective of others.” Reinforce the skill by telling them:

To give good directions, you had to think about the player. You had to remember that the player couldn’t see. You had to think about what the player needed to know to get to the right place. Understanding the perspective of others means thinking about what they are thinking. It means trying to figure out what they can and can’t see, what they can and can’t hear, and what they do and don’t know.

Follow up by asking children, “So, what does it mean to understand the perspective of others?” If necessary, shape answers such as:

� Thinking about what they can and can’t see. � Trying to figure out what they are thinking. � Trying to figure out why they are doing something.

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Keep the conversation going by then asking children, “What are some good things to do to understand the perspective of others?” If necessary, prompt answers such as:

� Look at them and look where they are looking. � Look at them and think about what they are thinking. � Ask them questions.

Ask children to name the skill, “understanding the perspective of others,” again before gauging their knowledge of the use of the skill by asking, “When might it be good to understand the perspective of others?” If necessary, prompt answers such as:

� When you want to know what others: » Can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel » Are thinking about » Want

� When you want to know why they are saying or doing something

Challenge for Step 2. Remind students of the skill—understanding the per-spective of others—by telling them, “We learned that means trying to think about what the other person is seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, feeling, or thinking.” Tell them you will be coming around and asking them to name the skill, then give the parameters for the challenge:

I might ask you to use the cue card (see Figure 3) to help you remember how to describe the skill. And, most important, I’ll ask you to tell me some times that it is important to think about what others know. When you can name the skill and tell me 3 times that it would be good to use it, you’ll have met your challenge!

Celebration Ceremony for Step 2. Provide a celebration ceremony by handing children their puzzle pieces to put on their puzzles. Make sure there are plenty of opportunities for clapping, cheering, and giving high fives. Select accompa-nying tangible reinforcers such as a small prize or snack, some music time, or a short recess period. In some cases, it may seem unnecessary to provide such a big celebration, but with many children with ASD, motivation to interact socially is a challenge. And there are more challenging tasks to come, so setting up the routine of celebrating can increase the chances that children will make good efforts to work on the more difficult tasks.


STEP 3Act—Earning the Third Puzzle Piece

Framework Step The Teacher Will: The Children Will:Step 3

ACT

Teach the children to demonstrate the skill in an engineered situation.

Act out the skill in a role-playing or engineered situation.

Set up games and role-plays with actors in various roles. Use peer interven-tions by training 2 or 3 same-age peers to be models. Typical peers may also act as “coaches.” Tell the students they will play a game where they guess what another person is about to do. Let them know you’ll need some actors and an audience. Give the actor volunteers the following direction: “You’ll be almost ready to do something and everyone in the audience will guess what you are about to do.” The scenarios may be:

Actor 1: You are about to take a drink of water.Actor 2: You are about to open a door to go outside.

When I try to understand the perspective of others,I think about what they can:

See Hear Smell Taste Touch/FeelI can also think about what they might be:

Feeling Wanting

Figure 3. Cue card for understanding the perspective of others.

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Actor 3: You are about to turn on a television.Actor 4: You are about to play on a computer.

Set up another game with actors in various roles such as:

Actor 1: You find a broken toy.Actor 2: You come upon a snake.Actor 3: You have a birthday present to open.Actor 4: Someone comes to the door.

Tell students: “Once you start thinking about how others are thinking, then you can think about what that person might want you to do or what the person might need.” Pose the following scenarios to them:

� What if you see someone who can’t see a big hole in the sidewalk? � What if you think that someone didn’t hear the whistle to go inside from

recess? � What if you see that someone’s arms are too full to open the door?

Ask each child to look at the picture in Figure 4 and answer the following question, “What can Michael see?” Discuss how, although Michael is holding

Figure 4. What can Michael see?


the bat symbol and headed in the right direction of pinning it on, he can only see the back of the blindfold. Use other similar pictures to let children practice determining answers to questions about such perspectives as what the person might be seeing, thinking, or hearing.

Challenge for Step 3. Tell students, “We’ve been acting out situations that help us think about the perspective of another person. When you were in the audience, how did you gather information that helped you understand the actor?” Expect answers such as:

� I pretended to be a detective and watched what the actor did. � I thought about what I might do or how I might feel in the same situation. � I tried to pretend I was walking in the other person’s shoes.

Create a few possible scenarios and place them in a bag. Give students the challenge:

Your challenge for earning puzzle piece #3 is to select a partner to create a role-play that you will perform for the group. Your role-play should allow the audience to make a guess about at least two of the following: what the actor can see, taste, smell, touch, hear, or feel (regarding emo-tions) or what the actor might be wanting or thinking. If you need help with a situation, I have some suggestions in this bag. And, I have props over here for you to use. When you have finished performing, you’ll have met your challenge!

Celebration Ceremony for Step 3. When the children have demonstrated proficient use of the social skill, provide a celebration ceremony by handing children their puzzle pieces to put on their puzzles. Have an accompanying party and continue to praise their success at earning puzzle piece #3. Be sure to provide a big celebration and continue pairing the puzzle pieces with plenty of social praise and treats. To improve the chances that children will make good efforts to work on future tasks, make sure that the rewards are escalating as the demand is increasing. Keep observing closely to make sure the rewards are truly acting as reinforcers (i.e., increasing the chance that the child will use the skills).

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STEP 4Use—Earning the Fourth Puzzle Piece


USE

Teach the children to use the skill in natural settings.

Use the skill with others in a school or home setting.

Look for ways to create needs in the natural settings for the children to think about the perspective of others. To do this, ask trained peers to work with a partner who needs to think about the perspective of others. For example, ask a trained peer to sit beside a child who is eating a snack. Ask the peer to sit quietly and wait. If the child doesn’t offer to share the snack, provide a prompt. Afterward, find a time to meet with the child to explain the following five steps (adapted from Winner, 2008) of perspective taking:

� Step 1: Think about the person who is near you. � Step 2: Ask yourself: What might that person see, hear, smell, feel, taste,

or want? � Step 3: Think about why the person is near you. � Step 4: Think about what other people may be thinking about you and

what they may want or need from you. � Step 5: Monitor and modify your own behavior.

Continue providing other opportunities for children to think about their peers. Some of these examples might ask the trained peer to:

� Stand silently while the children are playing on the slide. � Wait instead of beginning an art project. � Sit beside children who are playing with trains.

Provide reinforcement to children who notice the above situations and respond by trying to help or include the trained peer. Use least-to-most prompt-ing for children who don’t respond independently. In those cases, also provide feedback later by reviewing the five steps. When more instruction on using the five steps is needed, present the following scenarios to the children. Help them identify how Becca and Hayden used the five steps in the scenario below.

Becca and Hayden are sitting beside each other in art class color-ing pictures of the ocean. Becca is coloring with a brand new box of crayons and Hayden is coloring with a few broken crayons. Becca looks


at Hayden and sees that he has stopped coloring and is looking at her pile of crayons. He scoots a little closer to her. Becca thinks about what Hayden might be thinking by looking at Hayden and looking at the table. She sees that his picture is mostly blank and that he has a very small pile of crayons. Becca notices that Hayden is sitting close to her and looking at her crayons. She thinks that Hayden might want to borrow some of hers and that he may be feeling sad because he only has a few broken crayons. Becca asks Hayden if he would like to use some of her crayons. He says “yes,” and smiles. Becca notices his smile and thinks Hayden looks happy now. The two friends share the crayons and finish coloring their ocean masterpieces.

Challenge for Step 4. Praise students for their work in understanding the perspective of others: “I can tell that you are making progress in thinking about what others might want or need or feel or think.” Remind them of the five steps for perspective taking and then challenge them to use these steps in at least three different situations during the next week. Tell them, “Each time you act in a way that shows you understood the perspective of someone else, we’ll mark it on your chart and we’ll talk about it in our group! When you’ve done this three times, you’ll have met your challenge!” Give students the chart in Figure 5.

Celebration Ceremony for Step 4. When the children have completed their charts, provide a celebration ceremony to hand children their puzzle pieces to put on their puzzles. Make sure you are emphasizing social praise by clapping, cheering, and giving high fives all around the room, along with providing rein-forcers. Remember, there are still more challenging tasks to come, so keep work-ing to make sure that the rewards are escalating as the demand is increasing. And, don’t forget to keep observing closely to make sure the rewards are truly acting as reinforcers.

STEP 5Explain—Earning the Fifth Puzzle Piece


EXPLAIN

Teach the children the rationale for using the skill.

Say why the skill is effective in interacting with others.

Begin a discussion with the children by asking them the questions that fol-low. Their possible answers are included after each question.

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� Why is it good to think about what other people see, hear, feel, smell, taste, need, or want? » You might be able to help. » You might understand why they say something. » You might be able to understand why they do something. » You might understand why they don’t say something. » You might be able to understand why they don’t do something.

� If you are able to understand the things you described above and help someone, what might other people think about you? » Other people may think I’m nice. » My friends may think I’m helpful. » People may think I understand them and want to talk to me. » Friends may like to be around me.

Challenge for Step 5. Praise students: “You’ve listed so many reasons that it’s important to understand the perspective of others.” Then set up the challenge of creating their own lists of three different reasons why it’s important to take the perspective of someone else. Give them the table in Figure 6 to fill in, includ-ing their thoughts on how they might feel and how the other person might feel. When the table is full, they have met the challenge.

Celebration Ceremony for Step 5. When the children have passed this test, provide a celebration ceremony by handing children their puzzle pieces to put on their puzzles. Have an accompanying party and continue to praise their suc-cess at earning puzzle piece #5. Keep making the celebrations bigger and better as children master the more difficult challenges. Emphasize the social aspect of

Five Steps for Understanding the Perspective of OthersStep 1: Think about the person who is near me.Step 2: Ask myself: “What might that person see, hear, smell, feel, taste, want.”Step 3: Think about why the person is near me.Step 4: Think about what the other person may be thinking about me and may want or need.Step 5: Monitor and modify my own behavior.I will put a plus sign in the box when I use these steps successfully

Figure 5. Chart for the challenge for understanding perspective.


the celebration, but remember to keep pairing social rewards with more tangible rewards.

STEP 6Adjust—Earning the Sixth Puzzle Piece


ADJUST

Teach the children to use flexible thinking and problem solving.

List and demonstrate an alternative action whenever the social skill is not effective.

Explain to the children that we can’t always understand the perspective of others. Sometimes, we might not be able to tell what the person is seeing, hearing, thinking, or feeling. Ask students, “What can you do if you are having trouble understanding someone else’s perspective?” If necessary, shape answers such as the following:

� Ask questions. � Ask someone who knows the person well. � Watch a little longer. � Ask someone who has more experience.

Important Reasons for Taking the Perspective

of Someone Else How It Makes You Feel

How It Might Make the Other

Person Feel

Figure 6. Table to help students explain why they should understand others’ perspectives.

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Tell children that sometimes we make errors when we’re trying to under-stand what someone else is wanting, feeling, or thinking. Provide examples such as:

� We might think someone is hungry and offer that person some food. We may find that the person just finished a big dinner, and we didn’t know it!

� We might think someone wants to swing and offer that person a turn. We may find that the person doesn’t like to swing.

Explain that most of the time, the other person can just say, “No, thanks,” and it’s no big deal. People can use their words to tell us if we have the wrong idea. But sometimes, we may misunderstand a person’s perspective and it makes the person sad, mad, or embarrassed. Provide examples such as:

� We might think someone wants to talk to us and the person is scared or worried about talking. If we push too hard, the person might become sad.

� We might think someone likes something and tell everyone about it. For example, we might say that Jacob loves Olivia. Jacob may be embarrassed because he might not really like Olivia. Or if he does, he may not want anyone to know.

To help children understand social errors such as the ones above, use Figure 7 to implement a social skill autopsy (Lavoie, 1994). This allows children to describe the situation, point out the mistake, identify who was affected by the error, determine how to correct the error, select a better alternative, and practice using the better choice.

Figure 7. Social skill autopsy.


Challenge for Step 6. Congratulate students on their work on understanding the perspective of others. The challenge for this last step is to work through the steps of a social skill autopsy with a partner. Create a list of social errors that you’ve seen, write them on index cards, and put them in a bowl. Tell students,

“You and your partner will pick one and perform your investigation. You’ll need to point out the mistake, identify it as an error and explain why it is, and rec-ommend a better alternative.” After the students complete their autopsies, have them report to the group, thus meeting the challenge.

Celebration Ceremony for Step 6. When the children have passed this last test, provide the biggest celebration yet. Hand children their puzzle pieces to put on their puzzles and take a picture of each child with his or her completed puzzle frame. Have an accompanying party and continue to praise their success at completing the entire puzzle. Emphasize the social aspect of the celebration, perhaps inviting peer buddies, other teachers, or parents to the celebration.

Skill #12: Recognizing and Managing Emotions

STEP 1:Play—Earning the First Puzzle Piece With Charades




Use an adapted version of the game Charades to teach the skill of recogniz-ing and managing emotions. Gather the following materials prior to starting the game:

� props that represent emotions (e.g., bandages for sad, a toy snake for scared);

� cue card (see Figure 8) for each emotion with photographs, picture sym-bols, or written words;

� a bag or container for props; and � a timer (optional).

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Directions for play. Arrange chairs in a semicircle, designate a stage area, and place a bag of props on one side of the stage. On the other side of the semicircle, put an empty container to hold the used props. Each child will pull out a prop and demonstrate an emotion. Audience members will guess the emotion.

Teaching the game. Start by saying something like, “We are going to play a game where each person shows a feeling. These feelings can be happy, scared, sad, or mad. Watch me!” Demonstrate each emotion with exaggerated motor move-ments while pointing to the cue card. For early learners, demonstrate multiple times, and for more advanced learners, model one or two emotions to show how to play the game. Tell students they will then pick one item/prop from a bag:

You’ll think about how it might make you feel and you’ll pretend to feel that way. We’ll guess how you are feeling. You can’t say anything. We have to look at your face and your body and guess.

Watch me. I’ll pull out this toy and I see that it is broken. I have to think, how do I feel about broken toys. Hmm. I feel sad about broken

happy scared

sad mad

Figure 8. Cue card with emotions.


toys. So I’ll make this sad face. When I make the face, you guess what emotion I am showing. What do you think? You’re right! I was showing

“sad.”

Establish a turn-taking routine and direct a child to pull out a prop. For children who need help, provide prompts such as, “What did you pull out? How does that make you feel? Show us a face like that.” All of the children may guess, but the next student in line has the opportunity to act out the next emo-tion. Continue with this sequence until all the props are placed in the finished container.

Once children are proficient at using the props, write the emotions on index cards. Let each child pull out a card, read the word, and demonstrate the emo-tion. As children improve, add emotions to include fear, anger, sadness, joy, dis-gust, surprise, and anticipation.

Variations. For early learners, you may offer them a mirror to practice mak-ing faces, one emotion at a time, until they are all mastered. If the children can take turns and label emotions fluently (especially with quick learners or experienced players), you may break the children into two teams. Each team would have a container or props and a finished container. The teams would take turns acting out an emotion. The team that guesses the emotions in the quickest amount of overall time would win the game (a timer is needed for this version).

Another version of this game is Running Charades. In this version, the chil-dren are split up into two teams. The teacher is in charge of giving the same emotion to each team. The teacher is in a designated spot in the room, and the teams are at the two furthest points from the teacher and each other. When the game begins, a person from each team is given an emotion to act. He runs to the team and acts out the emotion. The team guesses the emotion, and the next player comes back to the teacher to the get the next emotion to be acted out to the team. The team that finishes the teacher’s list of emotions first wins the game.

Challenge for Step 1. Tell students, “You’ve done a great job of demonstrating and recognizing emotions in our game of Charades! We’ve played this all week long and you know it all!” Give students the challenge of playing three rounds on their own, with no help from the teacher. Each student will get three turns. When the game is finished, they’ll have met their challenge! When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 1 of Skill #11.

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Ask the children to show emotions with both their face and body. Reinforce children after each response with descriptive praise such as:

� Okay, lets see if we can remember: She looks __________ (while pointing to the cue card). Everyone practice being happy. Ready, go!

� Here’s another one: She looks __________ (while pointing to the cue card). Everyone practice being sad. Ready, go!

Set up a conversation about the social skill such as:When we played the game, we used a social skill called “recognizing emotions.” To recognize an emotion, we notice how the person is feeling. For example, you might say, � Riley, you had the bandage. Everyone, what emotion did Riley act out?

Great, how did you know she was sad? What did she do? � Drew, you had a remote control car, and it wouldn’t work. What emo-

tion did Drew act out? What else did he do to let us know he was mad?

Continue working with the children to help them learn to say when it is important to recognize emotions. Start with a discussion such as this:

When do you think it’s important to know how others are feeling? Well, let’s think about Riley and her bandage. If I see that she might be sad, I could say, “Are you sad? I hope your knee feels better.” So maybe we want to recognize emotions when we want someone to know we care about them.

What was Jack showing us when he pulled out the broken toy? Yes, he showed us “sad.” If we know he’s sad, maybe we could help fix the toy for him.

Ask students, “So what’s the name of our social skill? And, when do we want to use it?” Students should be able to name the skill and note that it is used when they want to show they care or when they want to help someone.


Challenge for Step 2. Remind students of the game: “When we played the game Charades, you watched a friend acting out an emotion. We talked about how you might be able to tell how people might feel by looking at their face and body in a situation.” Tell students that you will be giving them scenarios during the week and asking questions about when they should be able to recognize emo-tions: “I want you to listen and tell me how the people feel. I’ll keep a record of your answers and when you name the emotion in five of my stories, you’ll have met your challenge!” Scenarios could include:

� Fred was walking to school and fell down. He scraped his knee and was bleeding. Tears were coming out of his eyes, and he was wiping his nose. How do you think he felt?

� Shelly was walking outside and looked down and saw a huge snake. She jumped back and screamed. How do you think she felt?

When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 2 of Skill #11.



ACT



Set up a series of role-plays for recognizing emotions. As you are preparing the children to participate, teach children how to demonstrate levels of emotions. Use a 5-point scale as a visual support for this instruction. For instance, use a scale to teach the duration of a laugh or the intensity of a scream.

Explain to the children that they will be acting as if they were in a movie. All of the children will have defined roles in the scenario except for one child who is going to view the scenario. Tell students:

Hi actors! We are going to make movies! One person will be the director and the others will be the actors. When you are actors, your scripts will tell you what to say and do. When you are the director, you’ll be the one to view the movie and explain how each person might feel and what he or she might do in that situation. Remember, everyone will get to be an actor and everyone will get to be the director

Bonus Games I 21

Write a script to fit the following scenario: Two children will be playing dominoes. Another child comes in and stands by the domino players. These children will be told to ignore his requests to play. After filming, the director would explain that the child probably feels left out and is sad. To cover all of the emotions and provide children an opportunity to play various roles, make lots of movies with various scenarios.

Use activity-based instruction to practice identifying and then reacting appropriately to emotions displayed. For example, create a situation where a child has been given the role of computer helper. Select children to have com-puter time that are not as skilled at working the computer games. Tell the com-puter helper to watch to see when the children get frustrated or mad and then step in to help them.

Tell the children that there is a second part to the skill. This second part is managing emotions. First, show examples of 5-point scales and use discrimi-nation training to help children recognize the behaviors, thinking, and feeling associated with each intensity level of the scale. Then, talk to the children about ways to manage their emotions to keep in the stable or lower levels. So, for example, on the scale, point out the highest level of anger. Explain that strategies such as relaxation training and engaging in sensory activities are possible ways to manage high levels of anger. While children are calm, rehearse these strate-gies many times, so that, when angry, the child may be able to follow the routine. Please note that these procedures should not be taught to children when they are actually angry. Teach children that sensory activities, particularly exercise, are good for managing stress and preventing frustration and anger. Make sure they have ample opportunity to practice!

Challenge for Step 3. Tell students that, during the week, you’ll be demon-strating emotions. They are to guess the emotion, and you’ll keep track of any correct guesses. Then let them know that you’ll surprise them with a request to demonstrate their relaxation procedures and describe their favorite sensory activities and how they could use them to manage their emotions. Explain: “I’ll keep a tally of your correct guesses and your responses to my questions. When I have 10 for you, you will have met your challenge!” When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 3 of Skill #11.




USE



Watch for opportunities to reinforce recognizing emotions in the natural environment. When appropriate, call attention to emotions as they naturally occur. However, in many situations, discussion about an intense emotion should be done privately with each child.

Use peers to model recognizing and responding to emotions. Invite trained peers to come in and share when they are happy about winning something. Model an appropriate response such as congratulating that peer. Read stories about characters that are sad, mad, or scared and model appropriate responses to those situations. After modeling, shape appropriate, empathetic responses to the emotions of others. Watch cartoons where the characters often display exag-gerated emotions. Use the pause feature often to discuss the emotions displayed in the cartoon. Stop periodically to talk about ways the cartoon character could manage emotions more effectively. Ask children to share any experiences they have had with similar emotions. Then, watch parts of movies and television shows. These often have situations where the characters demonstrate a full range of emotions, providing plenty of opportunity for both recognizing the emotion and for discussing recommendations for the character to manage the emotions. Don’t forget to discuss the children’s own emotions in response to what they are watching. For example, stop and ask the children how they feel about the situa-tion. They may feel happy for the character or sad or worried about the situation.

Challenge for Step 4. Tell students that you will be looking to see who can recognize and respond to the emotions of others. Remind them, “Friends con-gratulate others when something good has happened. If you see a person who is hurt or sad, please try to help. The best way to help is probably to find an adult.” Give a round of applause and a sticker on their friend chart (see Figure 9) to children who respond to others. When students have stickers under every letter, they have met the challenge. When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 4 of Skill #11.

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EXPLAIN



Teach children to explain why it is important to react with an emotional response that is socially appropriate for the situation. Use Social Thinking® strategies to help children understand that others might be watching them and thinking about them. Explain that other children might be thinking positive thoughts or negative thoughts. Tell children that others usually have positive thoughts (or neutral thoughts) when we react in an expected way to emotional situations. For example, it’s expected that we are a little happy when we get a good grade and more happy when we get a big present. It’s expected that we’re a little mad when we don’t get something right on a test. It’s unexpected that we would have a complete meltdown over missing one answer. Guide the children in brainstorming other options.

Help the children create their own intensity scales like the one in Figure 10. Assist them in selecting words that describe several levels of happy, scared, sad, and mad. Ask children to brainstorm situations that might cause each level of emotion. Remind them that other people will be expecting that the intensity level match the situation. It would be unexpected to have a high level of anger over breaking a pencil and it would also be unexpected to have just a little smile if you got a new iPad. Help children summarize by saying that it’s important to match emotions to situations so that people have good or neutral thoughts about us. When emotions don’t match the situation, that’s unexpected and other people might think we are a bit strange.

F R I E N D

Figure 9. Friend chart.


Challenge for Step 5. Praise students: “You’ve been doing great with recog-nizing and managing emotions! We’ve even talked about why it is important to match your feelings to the situation.” Give them the challenge of watching three scenes from a movie with a partner. After reviewing each scene, they should decide on the emotion that was demonstrated. Then, using the intensity scales in Figure 10 (or those the class created), they should rate the character on the scale. Tell students to think about the following: Does the reaction match the situation? Would you have done about the same thing and reacted about the same way, and why? Why would it be important for that character to have to (or learn to) match his emotions to the situation? Tell students, “When you and your partner have marked the chart and answered the questions, bring them to me. If you have good answers, you’ll have met your challenge!” When each student has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to that in Step 5 of Skill #11.



ADJUST



Intensity Level Happy Scared Sad Mad

High

Laughing and jumping up and down

with joy

Shaking and crying,

hiding under a blanket

Crying or sobbing so that it’s a little hard

to breathe

Shaking fists or kicking out,

screaming

MediumSmiling

really bigWide eyes

and shakingTears and an upside

down smile

Talking loudly, big frown

LowJust a little

smileJust a little

tenseJust a little

upside down smile

Just a little frown

Figure 10. Intensity scale for emotions.

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Help the children create intensity scales and cue cards to help them rec-ognize and manage their own emotions. When they create their own intensity scales, they can learn how their feelings are affected by thinking and behavior. They can also learn to recognize their own physical signals (e.g., tight muscles, increased heart rate, rapid breathing) when they get excited, happy, scared, angry, or sad. Once they can recognize these signs, they can learn when to use their strategies to de-escalate their emotions. Remind the children to use their relax-ation procedures and sensory activities to prevent escalation (moving up the intensity scale) when possible and help with de-escalation (moving down the intensity scale) when needed.

Then, discuss the fact that it is difficult to communicate clearly when we are emotional. Then, explain that reviewing situations after emotional outbursts can help us understand how we communicated. When possible, assist the child in using a self-management chart such as the one in Figure 11. When children are not able to make good judgments about their own behavior, make a chart similar to Figure 11 to provide your feedback to the child.

Challenge for Step 6. For their final challenge, the students should watch three cartoons. Each cartoon should have characters who are acting silly, angry, happy, sad, or scared. It’s best to have cartoons where the characters overreact to their emotions. Tell students,

For each situation, I’ll ask you to write down what emotion you recog-nized. Then, we’ll play the cartoon again while you think about a self-management strategy the cartoon character could use to manage his or her emotions. In every case, the cartoon character is acting a bit oddly. There might be too much laughter, lots of crying, or a great deal of anger. So, for the second part of the challenge, you should come up with ideas on how the character might manage or improve the reactions in the future.

When each child has met both parts of the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 6 of Skill #11.

Communicating When I Am EmotionalDid I make myself clear with my face? q Yes q NoDid I make myself clear with my body q Yes q NoDid I make myself clear with my tone of voice? q Yes q NoDid I use the most acceptable words? q Yes q NoDid I keep the intensity level appropriate? q Yes q No

Figure 11. Self-management chart for emotions.


Skill #13: Cooperating With Others

STEP 1Play—Earning the First Puzzle Piece With Jenga




Use the board game Jenga to teach the skill of cooperating with others. To set up the game:

� Give each child a share of pieces and instruct them to take turns build-ing a tower.

� Assign children partners so that they are working in teams of two or three.

Directions for play. To play the game:1. Direct children to take turns pulling out pieces from the tower.2. Instruct them to look at the pieces that are least likely to make the

tower collapse.3. Steps 1 and 2 are repeated until the tower collapses.4. The winners are the team(s) that did not collapse the tower.

Teaching the game. For quick learners or experienced players, explain:

You are the players and you have been divided into teams. Your goal is to pull out as many pieces as you can without collapsing the tower. You and your partner will need to decide together which piece to pull out and who will pull it out. Start by looking at the tower and deciding which piece will do the least damage. Discuss it with your partner and when you agree, one of you can pull it out.

For early learners or new players, explain: “You are the players. Your goal is to pull out pieces from the tower, but don’t let it fall. Watch this.” Demonstrate by pulling a piece from the tower without letting it fall.

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Let the children practice a few rounds individually. Then, discuss how to work together with a partner by saying something like,

You will have a partner. You and your partner will need to agree on which piece to pull out from the tower. Let’s practice with our partners. Lance, you and Kevin are partners. So, together, you need to decide on a piece to pull out. Which piece do you two want to pull?

Practice a few rounds where partners work together to make a decision. Remind the children of the rules as they practice: “Your job is to pull out pieces, but to keep the tower from falling down. Remember, you have to decide together which piece to pull out. The other teams win if you make the tower fall.”

Play the game many times, giving the children plenty of opportunities to work with their partners. Teach the children to remember the steps with a visual schedule like the one in Figure 12.

Challenge for Step 1. Challenge students to play the game by themselves. Remind them to use the visual schedule if it helps them remember what to do with their partner. When students have worked with a partner for five turns in a row, they will have earned puzzle piece #1. Arrange a celebration ceremony similar to the one described in Step 1 of Skill #11.

Steps for Playing Partner Jenga

Look at the Jenga pieces

Discuss with your partner

Take out a piece

Wait for your next turn

Figure 12. Visual schedule for playing Jenga.






Start a discussion about the skill of sharing by saying, “Remember when we played Jenga? What happened in that game?” If necessary, prompt answers such as:

� We built a tower. � The tower fell down. � We pulled out pieces. � We worked with a partner.

Then ask students, “And, how did you decide what pieces to pull out?” If necessary, prompt answers such as:

� We looked for the place that wouldn’t make the tower fall. � We talked with our partners and then decided on what piece to pull.

Ask students if they ever disagreed with their partners. If they say yes, ask them to explain how they reached an agreement. If necessary, prompt answers such as:

� We told each other why we picked one and then made our choice. � Sometimes, we kept on picking until we picked the same one.

Then ask students, “What would you call it when you come to an agreement with a friend and decide what to do?” If necessary, prompt answers such as:

� Working together. � Doing something with someone else.

Explain that another way to phrase this is “cooperating with others.” Using Direct Instruction, continue by saying, “Let’s see if you can tell me what these friends were doing.” A discussion like this should follow:

Teacher: Joe and Ivan were working on a collage about Tennessee. They had to come up with five pictures to put on their paper. When they found a pic-ture of the state flag, Joe asked Ivan if he thought they should put it on the

Bonus Games I 29

paper. They decided that the flag was important, and glued it on their paper. What skill were they using?Children: Cooperating or working together.Teacher: Wow! How did you know?Children: Because they talked and then decided to put the flag on the page.

Continue with more examples until they are able to answer quickly. Then ask students to give their own examples. You can expect them to come up with situations like completing puzzles, coloring, or playing games. Then ask students,

“So what’s the name of the skill?” They should be able to answer with “cooperat-ing with others.” Follow up by asking, “And when would you use it?” Expect an answer such as, “When someone asks me or when I ask someone else.”

Challenge for Step 2. Remind students of the skill they learned: “Hey part-ners! We have talked about cooperating with others. Remember, that means working together!” Tell students that this week, you are going to share some sce-narios and you want them to tell you what the children are doing. After giving them the scenario, ask them some questions about when to use the skill. When students give you 10 good answers, they earn puzzle piece #2. A conversation might go like this:

Teacher: Julie was creating a dot-to-dot. She asked Jeremy for help with the next number. He helped her and they began deciding where to put the next numbers. What are they doing?Children: Cooperating or working together.Teacher: How did you know?Children: They worked on finding places for the numbers to go.Teacher: Fantastic! Heather and Tripp were working on making robots for their science fair project. They both got stuck making their robot heads. Heather asked Tripp what he thought. Tripp reminded Heather that their teacher wanted them to do this by themselves. What were they doing?Children: Working alone.Teacher: Wow! How did you know?Children: Because they were doing their projects alone.Teacher: You are fantastic! Now, tell me two examples of how you can cooperate with your friends.Children: Working together to make a city. Working together to create our science fair project. Teacher: Great, when can you work together?Children: When an adult says it is OK or when you need help.





ACT



Before setting up role-plays, remind the children how to cooperate with friends by using a checklist (see Figure 13). Review the checklist until the chil-dren perform the steps without hesitation. Provide the checklist during the role-play for a visual reminder.

Using joint action routines, create situations throughout the day that set the stage for collaboration among peers. For instance, when working in centers, assign tasks that need to be completed in pairs, such as setting up a task for one child to read directions for another child to follow in order to build a particular structure. Or arrange for the children to use one list and go on a scavenger hunt around the room.

Challenge for Step 3. Create some possible scenarios for role-plays with part-ners, such as:

� deciding what to buy in the school store with class dollars, � working together to carry one big object, or � working together to build a castle like one in a drawing.

You may also want to prepare scripts and gather props for the role-plays. Have the students pick a scene as partners, then gather their materials. They should practice their role-plays (writing their own scripts if they choose to). They can use the visual schedule in Figure 13 as a reminder for how to work together. When they have practiced enough, you can film their role-plays or have them act their scenes out for the class. When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 3 of Skill #11.

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USE



Throughout the day, pair children with peers to take advantage of naturally occurring activities including:

� completing a school assignment together,

Cooperating With Friends

Look at my friend.

Give ideas of what I think.

Listen to my friend’s ideas.

Decide what we will do.

Do it!

Figure 13. Checklist for cooperating with others.


� doing a chore or task at school together (e.g., moving furniture around), or

� completing a team game like Charades or Paper Bag Skits together.

After each activity, encourage the children to use the self-management checklist in Figure 14. Make sure that each child fills out the form individually before reviewing the checklist with a partner.

Challenge for Step 4. Challenge students to complete five projects with a partner during the week. They should keep a self-management chart for each activity or project and turn in five charts at the end of the week to meet the chal-lenge. When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 4 of Skill #11.



EXPLAIN



Use the principles of Social Thinking® and begin a discussion like this: “Hi partners! We have been talking about cooperating or working with others. We have a cue card (see Figure 15) of what that looks like.” Then, have the students figure out what the top five expected behaviors are when cooperating with oth-ers. Remind them to think about what others might think about what they are doing. Figure 16 has a sample list of cooperating behaviors.

Let’s Check: Did I Cooperate With Friends?Did I look at my friend? q Yes q NoDid I give ideas of what I think? q Yes q NoDid I listen to ideas of my friend? q Yes q NoDid we work together? q Yes q No

Figure 14. Self-management checklist for cooperating with others.

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Cooperating With Others Looks Like:

Looking at each other and the project

Talking and discussing

Deciding what to do and doing it!

Figure 15. Cue card for cooperating with others.

What Is Expected When Cooperating?

Look and pay attention to the project and others speaking.

Listen to what others are saying.

Think about how I feel and how my friend might feel.

Talk about the choices we have.

Ask for a break or give my friend a break if we need it.

Figure 16. Top cooperating behaviors.


Tell students, “Now, we know what cooperation looks like and what behav-iors are expected. Why is it important to cooperate with others?” Shape answers such as:

� I can get something done faster. � I might be able to learn how to think about things differently. � I can get something done that I couldn’t have done by myself. � It is nice to have help from others. � I can learn how other people think. � I may be able to win a game with help from my friends. � People are expected to work together.

Challenge for Step 5. Remind students of the importance of cooperating by saying something like, “Sometimes working together is better than working alone.” Then, give them their challenge:

For this challenge, I want you to find five people. You’ll ask each of the five people if they will listen to you explain why working together is important. Write down the name of each person who heard your expla-nation and then you’ll have met your challenge!




ADJUST



Explain to the children that it is not always easy to work with other people. We need to figure out what to do when:

� A friend is not listening to your ideas and cooperating with you. � You are not able to listen to a friend and cooperate with the friend.

Use cognitive behavioral interventions to teach some steps for what to do when someone doesn’t listen to the children or what to do when they are unable to listen to a peer to cooperate (see Figure 17).

Bonus Games I 35

Remind students that, sometimes, they may be the ones getting upset in a partner situation. Ask them what they can do if this happens. Shape responses such as:

� I can ask for a break. � I can take deep breaths. � I can try and do something else. � I can ask an adult for help.

Praise students for their ideas and then expand the conversation: “You have done a great job coming up with what to do when you can’t work something out. If an adult is able to help you work something out, and you are upset, what do you think you need to do?” Expect answers such as:

� Take a break. � Squeeze my ball. � Take a walk.

Challenge for Step 6. Explain to students that their challenge is to put some of their ideas about cooperation down on paper. For example, they can create a consequence map to see what happens when they are unable to cooperate with a friend. They could also make a choice board to choose some appropriate things to do when they encounter problems in cooperative activities. After the students have finished these activities, watch them during the week to see if they are able

Step Did You Do It?Describe the problem.Ask if we can look at our ideas again.Restate my idea or come up with a new idea.Ask my friend what he or she thinks.Listen to my friend’s idea.Ask if we can now make a decision.Decide on what we will do or decide that we need to take a break.

Figure 17. Steps for resolving problems in partner activities.


to avoid or resolve problems on their own. When they can do so, they have met the challenge. When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 6 of Skill #11.

Skill #14: Disagreeing With Others

STEP 1Play—Earning the First Puzzle Piece With I Doubt It




Use the card game I Doubt It to teach the skill of disagreeing with others. To set up the game:

1. Deal out all of the cards in one or two decks (depending on skill and number of player).

2. Create a place in the middle of the table for a facedown discard pile.3. Instruct the players that the goal is to get rid of their cards and that

every player must discard at least one card on each turn.

Directions for play. To play the game: � The first player lays one or more cards facedown and says, “One ace” (or

two aces, three aces, or four aces). � The second player lays one or more cards facedown and says, “One two”

(or two twos, three twos, or four twos). � The third player lays one or more cards facedown and says, “One three”

(or two threes, three threes, or four threes).

Play continues going from ace to king, then starting again at ace, taking as many rounds as necessary until a player is out of cards. Players must play at least one card on every round, so it is sometimes necessary to play a card and lie about it. For example, if it was time to play eights, and the player has no eights, the

Bonus Games I 37

player should put down two other cards (perhaps a two and a three). When the player puts down the two and three, the player should lie and say, “two eights.”

At any time another player doubts that the real cards have been played, that player can say, “I doubt it.” If more than one player doubts that the correct cards have been played, the first player who said, “I doubt it,” is the official doubter.

The player who played the cards then turns over the cards to show what has been played. If the cards were correctly played, the doubter must take the entire pile. If the cards were not correct, the player must take all of the cards. The first player to get rid of all his cards wins.

Teaching the game. It might be good to start with a discussion such as the following:

We’re going to play a card game. You’ll have cards in your hand. (Deal about 5 cards to each child, dealing each child an ace, a two, and a three.) The goal is to get rid of your cards by placing them facedown into the pile. But there are rules about how you put down your cards. Watch me as I put down this card: I’ll say, “one ace.” Now, it’s your turn. You put down your two and say, “one two.” Next, it’s your turn to put down a three. You say, “one three.”

Practice this until the children are comfortable putting down one card and call-ing its name. Then, explain:

Sometimes you might have two cards. Watch me, I’ll put down two aces and say, “two aces.” Then, it will be your turn. You have one two, so you can put it down and say, “One two.” Next, it’s your turn (to Player 3), and you have three threes, so you put them all down and say, “three threes.”

Practice this until the children are comfortable putting down the number of cards they have and saying the number, still going in order from ace to king and starting over at ace again. Explain further:

Sometimes, you might not have the right card to play. If you don’t, you will pretend to have the right card and put one facedown anyway. You will pretend that it is the correct card and say it is the correct card. This is a lie, but it’s okay to lie in this game.

Let’s start again. You have two aces, so put them down and say two aces. Next, you have one two, so put down one two. Now, it’s my turn. Look, I don’t have any threes. But, I do have an ace, so I am going to put it down and say, “one ace.” I’m pretending that it is an ace, and I am lying. It’s okay to do it in this game. Let’s practice. So, now it’s your turn


for fours. See, you don’t have a four, so you can pick another card and say “one four.”

Practice this until the children can put down cards and lie. Keep reminding them that it is okay to pretend and to lie in this game. Some children may strug-gle with breaking the rules. Now explain what the children should do if they think someone is lying:

Now, if you think your opponent is only pretending to have the right card, you can say, “I doubt it.” This is a way of saying, “I don’t think you just put down a four.” If someone doubts you, you turn over your cards. If you were pretending, you take all of the cards into your hand. If you were not pretending, the doubter takes all the cards. Remember, it is not good to take the cards into your hand because you are trying to get rid of them.

Practice a few rounds, saying, “I doubt it,” and instructing the loser of the doubt to take all the cards.

Because there are many steps to playing this game, a visual support like the one in Figure 18 with the steps listed may be helpful to your students.

Challenge for Step 1. Praise students for their work, then challenge them to play the game by themselves. Remind them to use the schedule from Figure 18 if they need help remembering how to play. When they can play the game without your help, arrange a celebration ceremony similar to the one described in Step 1 of Skill #11.





Have a discussion with the students that explains agreement and disagree-ment:

Sometimes people think about something the same way. This is called agreeing. When you agree with someone, you think the same thing that the other person thinks. You might each look at a hamburger and think,

Bonus Games I 39

Player Order (Clockwise) Play Sample responses

Player 1 Plays one or more aces

Other players agree

Player 2 Plays one or more twos

Other players agree

Player 3

Plays one or more threes

Player 2 disagrees and says “I doubt it.”Player 3 had played cards correctly, so Player 2 takes the discard pile

Player 4 Plays one or more fours

Other players agree

Player 1 Plays one or more fives

Other players agree

Player 2 Plays one or more sixes

Other players agree

Player 3 Plays one or more sevens

Other players agree

Player 4

Plays one or more eights

Player 2 disagrees and says “I doubt it.”Player 4 had played cards incorrectly, so Player 3 takes the discard pile

Player 1 Plays one or more nines

Other players agree

Player 2 Plays one or more tens

Other players agree

Player 3 Plays one or more jacks

Other players agree

Player 4 Plays one or more queens

Other players agree

Player 1 Plays one or more kings

Other players agree

Continue rotating turns until one player goes out of cards.

Figure 18. Visual support for I Doubt It.


“I like hamburgers.” Or you might each see a picture and think, “Wow, that’s pretty.” Maybe you will each watch a game and think, “I wish the Tigers had won.”

Sometimes people think differently. This is called disagreeing. When you disagree with someone, you do not think the same as the other person. So, while you might think, “I like pizza,” another person might think, “I don’t like pizza.”

When people are talking, they sometimes say what they think. For example, sometimes a person who is watching a basketball game will say,

“I want the Tigers to win!” A person who agrees might say something like, “I do too!” or “So do I!” A person who disagrees might say, “I don’t, I want the Lions to win.”

You don’t always have to tell people whether or not you agree. But, if you want to tell someone that you disagree, it’s important to do it politely. What are some things on which you might disagree?

o Which is the best sports team? Michael thinks it’s the Tigers and Adam thinks it’s the Grizzlies.

o Who is the best singer? Annie thinks it’s Katy Perry and Marion thinks it is Adele.

o Whose turn is next? Kristy thinks it’s her turn and Michelle thinks it’s her turn.

After having a conversation with the students about agreeing and disagreeing, share the following Social StoryTM with them to help them understand the con-cept further:

Disagreeing With Others PolitelySometimes people think differently from other people. This means

they disagree and this is okay. When someone disagrees with me, that person is just thinking something different. It does not mean that the person doesn’t like me, and it doesn’t mean that I have to change my mind. When someone disagrees with me, I can still think the way I want to think.

When people disagree with someone else, they can keep their ideas to themselves or they can tell the other person what they think. It’s good for people to talk about disagreements when they are calm and to say things in a nice way. This means using an inside voice and speaking a little slowly. They try to use nice words such as, “Well, I disagree,” or, “I have another way of thinking about that.”

When I disagree with someone else, I will try to think about whether it’s important to say what I think. If it is, I will try to say it with my inside voice and speaking slowly.

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Develop intensity scales like the one in Figure 19, along with cue cards, to remind children to stay calm.

Challenge for Step 2. Tell students their challenge is to name the social skill and tell when it should be used. Explain that you’ll be coming by to ask them questions about the new skill and when to use it. Each child who names the skill and answers five questions about when it is appropriate to use it in the classroom will have met the challenge. When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one described in Step 2 of Skill #11.



ACT



To practice the skill of disagreeing politely, set up a series of short debates. Ask children to choose their favorite item in a category and state one reason why they prefer it. Some categories you may use are movies, snacks, colors, pizza top-pings, desserts, superheroes, songs, athletes, sports teams, or actors/actresses.

Do this often enough so that there are times when children will agree and times that they disagree. Make a choice board like the one in Figure 20 that guides the children in using good phrases for agreeing and disagreeing.

Explain that people generally don’t expect others to disagree with everything or to disagree too much. Lead a discussion on what kinds of things are important

Outside voice—STOP!

Way too loud—WATCH IT!

Somewhat too loud—WATCH IT!

Inside voice—GO!

Figure 19. Intensity scale for using calm voices when disagreeing with others.


to share your opinions on and when it might be better to keep your opinion to yourself. Present choices such as:

� A person comes in and says to your teacher, “You look nice today.” You disagree. Should you share your opinion or not?

� Your teacher says, “Let’s vote on whether to stay inside for recess or go to the playground.” Your friend wants to stay inside. You disagree. Should you share your opinion or not?

� Someone that you don’t know is talking to someone else about a movie. In their discussion, you hear them name the stars of the movie and you think they are wrong. Should you tell them your opinion about the names of the stars in the movie?

The Challenge for Step 3. Challenge the students to a partner debate. Assign each student a partner and a topic. Tell each student he or she will get three 2-minute periods to talk, so they will be able to explain why they disagree with their partners. Remind students, “Be sure to demonstrate polite ways of dis-agreeing. I’ll be taking notes and when you have disagreed politely at least three times, you’ll have met your challenge!” When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 3 of Skill #11.

I understand what you’re saying, but . . .I see what you mean, but I think . . .

The way I see it is . . .

In my opinion . . .Another way of thinking about this . . .

Figure 20. Choice board for disagreeing.

Bonus Games I 43



USE



Set up class discussions about topics on which the children are likely to have differing opinions. Post reminders around the room to help children remem-ber to use nice words and inside voices when they disagree with others. Keep a choice board (such as Figure 20) posted. Review the choice board regularly, reminding children proactively.

Watch for naturally occurring disagreements to occur and provide positive reinforcement for children who state their opinions clearly and calmly. Give each child a self-monitoring chart (see Figure 21) to help them practice disagreeing politely.

Challenge for Step 4. Tell students you will be watching them and seeing if they can disagree politely. Remind them of what that means: “As you know, this means using words like the ones in the choice board and a voice volume that is at level 1 or 2 on our intensity scale.” Whenever they can do these things, place a sticker on a copy of the self-management chart from Figure 21. When they have 5 stickers, they have met the challenge. When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 4 of Skill #11.

Disagreeing With Others Politely

q I disagreed q I remembered to use nice words and an inside voice



My total is __________!

Name:

Figure 21. Self-management chart for disagreeing politely.




EXPLAIN



Explain to the children that disagreeing politely is important for getting along with others. Use a visual support such as the one in Figure 22 to help them see what happens when they disagree politely and impolitely. Then, use brainstorming techniques to create a graphic organizer like the one in Figure 23 of reasons to disagree politely.

Challenge for Step 5. Tell students about the challenge:

Okay, peacemakers! We’ve talked about using a polite voice with polite language when we want to tell people that we disagree with them. Your challenge for Step 5 is to explain five reasons that it is good to be polite when disagreeing with others. Then, you’ll have an opportunity to tell your five reasons to the class. When you have done this, you’ll have met your challenge!




ADJUST



To help children learn problem-solving skills and to think flexibly, teach the children a step-by-step conflict-resolution process such as the one that follows.

Bonus Games I 45

Ways to DisagreeHow We Disagree With Our Words With Our Voices Because

When we disagree rudely, we

Use words such as: � I’m right and you’re wrong. � You don’t know anything. � Everyone knows you’re not right.

Use a voice that: � is too loud for talking with one person, � has a tone that is sarcastic or accus-ing, or � is too fast.

1. People may not want to keep talk-ing with us.

2. People may have weird thoughts about us.

3. People may yell back or get mad.

4. People may not give us what we want or need

When we disagree politely, we

Use words such as: � In my opinion . . . �Well, I think . . . � I understand what you’re saying, but I would say . . . � Have you ever thought about . . .

Use a voice that: � is at a volume you would use indoors, � has a tone that is not sarcastic or accusing, or � is at a speed that is not too fast or too slow.

1. People are more likely to listen to our opinions and continue to have a nice conversation.

2. People may be nice while we are talking.

3. People may give us what we want or need.

Figure 22. Visual support for disagreeing politely and impolitely.

Helps people stay calm so each person can learn what the other one thinks.

Increases the chance that people will like

or respect you.

Increases the probability that people will be nice back to you.

You’ll be more likely to leave the discussion feeling calm and good.

DisagreeingPolitely

Figure 23. Graphic organizer for disagreeing politely.


1. Stop, separate, and cool down! If needed, get an adult. 2. Say what’s wrong and what you want or need. If needed, get an adult.

Teach the children some relaxation techniques and to use “I” messages to express their feelings and desires:

� Describe how you are feeling. “I feel ____________________ .” � Say when the behavior happens. “When you ____________________ ” � Say why and explain. “Because ____________________ ” � Calmly say, “I want _______________________________ .” Or, calmly say, “I

don’t want _____________________________ .”

In the beginning, a teacher or parent should guide this process, and children should be taught to get an adult at any step that doesn’t seem to be working.

Challenge for Step 6. Write down some possible conflicts on index cards and place them in a bag or hat. Tell students that their final challenge is to work with a partner to come up with some solutions to the conflicts. When they have described the ways that they would resolve two of the conflicts, they’ll have met their challenge! Provide a celebration ceremony similar to that in Step 6 of Skill #11.

Skill #15: Observing to Learn Social Skill Secrets

STEP 1Play—Earning the First Puzzle Piece With Social Scene Investigations




We have created a game called Social Scene Investigations to teach the skill of observing to learn social skill secrets. To set up the game:

Bonus Games I 47

1. Make a list of situations or activities that could be set up for children to investigate. Our favorites are a birthday party scene, a playground scene, and a sporting event scene.

2. Gather items to set up these scenes.

Directions for play. To play the game:1. Set up a section of the room with items that will give children clues

about what the activity was.2. Invite the children to look around the activity area.3. Ask them to use their observational skills to guess what the activity was

and details about it.4. Explain the game by saying something like, “We are investigators, and

we’re going to solve mysteries. These are mysteries about social scenes.”

For example, set up a birthday party scene with: � five partially opened presents, � five open birthday cards, � an empty container of Hawaiian Punch, and � empty cupcake wrappers.

Ask children to enter the room, walk around, and look without touching. Remind them to remember as many details as possible. In some cases, they may want to take notes. Having a clipboard to carry adds credibility to the role of detective. Ask questions such as:

� Whose party was this? (Read the name on the envelopes of the cards.) � Was this person a boy or girl? (Use a name like Jordan or Sydney so the

children have to guess the gender by looking at the nature of the toys or the colors of the decorations).

� What did they eat? � What did they drink? � How do you think they felt?

Another popular scene to set up is a baseball game with the following props: � a baseball, baseball gloves, and some baseball hats; � some hats near the bases and one on the pitcher’s mound; � some other hats near home base; � an ice chest and some empty soda cans; � an open first-aid kit with an empty bag titled “leg splint”; and � a scoreboard with some of the innings filled in.


Ask students questions such as: � Who was here? (Read the name of teams on scoreboard.) � Who was winning? � Why didn’t they finish? � What was the score? � How do you think they felt?

Challenge for Step 1. Set up the challenge for students:

We’re going on a field trip and you’ll get to investigate a brand new scene. We’ll take clipboards so that you can take notes, and I’ll have a series of questions for you to answer. But remember, you’ll need to be a detective and notice as many clues as you can. Then, when we get back, we’ll discuss all of the social skill secrets you have discovered from your observation. When we’ve completed that discussion, you’ll have met your challenge!

For easy field trips, visit other classrooms when they are empty. If possible, visit a restaurant, library, or museum. Then, discuss the social skill rules in such places. When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 1 of Skill #11.





Explain that we can learn a lot from observing details. Just like in the first step of the game, students can make guesses about how people feel. For example, they might look at the situation around them. They can also look at people’s faces to develop a guess about things such as:

� Is this a good time to ask for something? � Should I talk loudly or softly? � Where should I sit? � Is this a good time to tell a joke? � Would anyone like to talk with me?

Bonus Games I 49

Tell children that this social skill is called “observing to learn social skill secrets.” Explain that if we act like detectives, we can figure out things to do that will help us get along with others, make friends, and fit in with groups. Just like some detectives, we can’t solve every mystery, but the more we practice, the better we get. Check to see that the children can still name the skill by asking,

“What’s the name of our new skill?” Help children make a list (see Figure 24) of when it might be a good idea to observe a situation before deciding what to say or do.

Challenge for Step 2. Remind students of the name of the skill, then chal-lenge them to make their own lists of times when they think it would be best to watch and learn before acting and doing. Remind them that, “just like detectives, we can learn a lot by studying a situation.” Give them the chart in Figure 25 to complete. When it’s finished appropriately, they have met the challenge. When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 2 of Skill #11.

Sample ListChildren’s Ideas Sample Teacher’s Response

When we go to a restaurant. Terrific! What might you learn by observing there?

Whether to order at the counter or a table?

Super!

Where to pay? Absolutely!What kind of food people are ordering?

Good idea!

Whether we fill our own drinks or wait for a waitress to serve us.

Wow, good thinking! What could you observe to learn about going over to a friend’s house to play?

What we can touch and can’t touch?

That’s important to know!

I don’t know what else. How about who you might ask if you need to go to the bathroom?

Yeah and who you ask if you want something to drink.

Good thinking!

Or what if you want to play on the computer?

Sure, you might be able to tell whom you should ask by observing!

Figure 24. Sample list of when and what to observe.




ACT



Set up many situations for the detectives to investigate social scenes. For example, let them investigate the cafeteria, the library, the office, and other parts of the school. Ask them to observe for clues and take notes. Arrange periodic meetings for the detectives to share their clues and develop solutions to the mysteries. Shape discoveries such as:

� People are quiet in classrooms and the library, but not in the gym or music.

� Classes usually walk down the hall near the right wall. � People line up in the cafeteria to buy lunch, but go straight to the tables

when bringing lunch from home.

Observing to Learn Social Skills SecretsPlace I would go: What I would watch to learn:

1.

2.

3.

Figure 25. Chart for recording when to observe to learn social skills secrets.

Bonus Games I 51

Look at pictures, short videos, or movie clips and ask children to continue their investigations of social scenes while watching these. Whenever possible, use least-to-most prompting to help children see patterns in social behavior and learn about social expectations. Help them pay particular attention to those social rules that aren’t usually explicitly taught. Myles, Trautman, and Schelvan (2004) described this as the hidden curriculum. Examples of these are: noticing what is cool to wear, not staring at other people when they are eating, not doing everything that every classmate tells you to do, and not commenting on certain physical characteristics of people. Teach children to use the SODA Strategy: S—Stop, O—Observe, D—Deliberate, and A—Act. Tell them that these four steps help us figure out how to do the right thing in a social situation. Allow them to practice following these steps when going into new situations. In the Observe stage, teach children to look around carefully at where people are standing and how they are talking. In the Deliberate stage, teach children to think about what they will do or say in that situation, and how they are going to do it. Finally, teach them to act on what they had planned.

Challenge for Step 3. Prepare age-appropriate movie clips of characters inter-acting in various social scenes. Show the students three clips and ask them to describe what social rules the movie stars are following. They should write down what they think before sharing with others. Then, have the students make a list of times that they think it would be good to watch and learn before acting and doing. When both of these tasks are complete, then they have met the challenge. When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 3 of Skill #11.



USE



Make plans to help the children use the skill in the natural environment. Set up field trips to different settings and let them take along clipboards. Help them develop some guides for collecting clues such as the one in Figure 26.

Challenge for Step 4. Tell the students how impressed you are by their detective work. Then, let them know you will be watching them to see if they are remembering to follow the rules they’ve discovered. Create a simple token


economy chart for each student. Tell them, “When I see you using your SODA strategy or following one of the rules we discovered in our investigations, I’ll put a sticker on your chart. When you have 10 stickers, you’ll have met your chal-lenge!” When each child has met the challenge, provide a celebration ceremony similar to the one in Step 4 of Skill #11.

Social Scene Investigations at

The Children’s Museum

My Clues:

Things I noticed about people talking:

Things I noticed about people’s actions:

q In groups q In pairs q Standing q Sittingq A lot q A little q Moving a lot q Moving a littleq Loud q Soft Other:Other: Other:

Other: Other:

Based on my investigations, I will plan to:

q __________________________________________________________

q __________________________________________________________

q __________________________________________________________

________________ _____________________________________ Date Signature of Detective

Figure 26. Visual guide for collecting social skills clues.

Bonus Games I 53



EXPLAIN



Start a discussion about why it’s good to observe to learn social skill secrets. Use graphic organizers to review Social Thinking® concepts such as the ones in Figure 27.

Challenge for Step 5. Praise students for their work, then give them the chal-lenge of creating a story that tells about the skill of observing to learn and why it is important. Set up some parameters for the stories:

In the story, be sure to tell the good things that might happen when you observe and learn the social rules. And, include some things that might happen when you don’t notice social expectations. When your stories are complete, we’ll read them aloud to the class. If your story explains the importance of observing, you’ll have met your challenge!




ADJUST



Explain to the children that we can’t learn everything by observing. Ask chil-dren about other ways that detectives solve mysteries. Tell them that sometimes, just like detectives, we might need to ask people about social skills. Remind


When I am near people, they might be thinking about me.Check the

person’s eyes:Person’s eyes are

looking at me.Person’s eyes are

not looking at me.This is what most people would probably do in a similar situation.

If people are standing around, I might stand, too.

If people are sitting down, I might sit down, too.

That person might be thinking about me. I should try to guess if the person is thinking good thoughts about me. If I am doing what is expected or what most people might do, they are probably thinking good thoughts.

That person might not be thinking about me. I should look where the person is looking to see if I can guess what the person is thinking about.

People have feelings that affect how they might respond to me.Think about how the

person is feeling:The person looks happy or content.

The person looks mad or busy.

This is what most people would probably do in a similar situation.

If it’s time to talk with others, I might try to talk as well.

If everyone is quiet, I might stay quiet, too.

That person might be interested in talking with me. I’ll use my skills of talking with others: �Make a statement � Add a little more � Ask a question

I’ll watch to see how the person responds. Then, I’ll know whether to keep talking.

That person might not be thinking about me. I should look where the person is looking to see if I can guess whether the person is mad, or sad, or busy.

If the person is mad, I might ask, “Do you want to talk?”

If the person is busy, I might say, “Do you have time to talk?”

Figure 27. Graphic organizers to review Social Thinking® concepts.

Bonus Games I 55

What I do and say affects how people think about me. I want to do things that help people have good thoughts about me. I don’t want them to think that I am mean or rude.

Think about how your actions affect

other people:Things that people

think are mean:Things that people

think are rude:I will try not to do things that people would not expect, especially if they might think I am mean or rude.

I should try to do what most polite people would do in a similar situation.

If it might make someone have weird thoughts about me, I won’t say it.

If it might make someone feel sad, I won’t say it.

If it might make someone feel mad, I won’t say it.

People usually don’t like it if you say that they (or their friends or family members): � Are ugly � Are mean � Are fat � Have gray hair � Are old � Have a big nose

Even if I think these things are true, I will try to remember that it makes people sad or mad to hear me say it.

When I say things like this, people might think I am mean.

People don’t usually like yelling or screaming. If I scream at them, they might think I am mean.

People might have weird thoughts about me if I say: � I don’t like you. � Get out of my way. � You need to go away.

Even if I think these things are true, or I want these things to happen, I will try to remember that the way I say something is important. I need to use an inside voice and ask more often than tell.

Figure 27. Continued


them that it’s probably good to listen to teachers in social skills groups, too. Tell students:

As you know, detectives often interview people. Let’s make a list of ques-tions you would like to ask. Once we have the list, we’ll start by letting you interview your parents and teachers. You can also add questions of your own.

Once we’ve completed the interviews with adults, we’ll make a list of questions for interviews for your peers. These questions will be about what to wear, what music to listen to, what movies to go to, and what television shows to watch. We’ll also ask about the latest toys and tech-nology that they have. Here are some sample questions:

o When you go clothes shopping, how do you know what to buy? o When you get up in the morning, how do you decide what outfit

to put on? o What are some of your favorite things to do? o What do you like to talk about? o In a conversation, how do you know when it’s time to let some-

one else talk?

Explain to the children that they are doing research, and, like scientists, they will need to analyze the results. Compile the information from the interviews and help children think of ways to use the information to improve their relation-ships with others.

Challenge for Step 6. Tell students:

Congratulations, everyone! You have been doing superb work on observ-ing to learn social skills. I appreciate the way you have been thinking flexibly about this skill and how you have been solving problems. Your challenge is to make a list of additional ways that you can learn social skill secrets. Then, you and your partner will interview five people. You’ll need to take turns asking them questions of your choice and writing down their responses. After the interviews, you and your partner will make a poster of the social skill secrets that you learned through your questions. Next, you’ll share your poster with the group and then you’ll have met your challenge!


Bonus Games I 57

ReferencesLavoie, R. D. (1994). Learning disabilities and social skills with Richard Lavoie:

Last one picked . . . First one picked on [Video and Teacher’s Guide]. Available from http://www.ricklavoie.com/videos.html

Myles, B. S., Trautman, M. L., & Schelvan, R. L. (2004). The hidden curricu-lum: Practical solutions for understanding unstated rules in social situations. Shawnee Mission, KS: Autism Asperger Publishing Company.

Winner, M. (2008). Think social: A social thinking curriculum for school-age chil-dren. San Jose, CA: Think Social.

Documents

Bonus Games for Advanced Skills - PrufrockI might ask you to use the cue card (see Figure 3) to help you remember how to describe the skill. And, most important, I’ll ask you to