Big Brother Loves You

8/14/2019 Big Brother Loves You

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Zilch, as usual. I groaned, and we continue our journey. The paranoia is stubborn

and refuses to leave, despite assurances that nothing is there.

Somehow, Teddie contacts me from outside the… Bad Bad Bathhouse. “Sensei?You all right? I can smell your fear, even through the steam…”

“What are you talking about?” I half-screeched. The hysteria amplified my

emotions. “I’m not scared!”“Whatever you say, Sensei…” He said, that stupid giggly cocky tone in his voice.

“Good riddance,” I growled through harshly clenched teeth. I wondered if he was

the one who was making me so freaked out. Maybe the fact a furry Big Brother wasconstantly watching me did things to my psyche. Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was the

fact that every so often the “intercom” would click on and Kanji would giggle about how

good the gross service he’s experiencing at the hands of the Hulk Hoganites feels.Yes, that makes sense, I assure myself, sounding more and more like a normality-

desperate schizophrenic every minute. All I needed was to be rocking back in forth in

fetal position while wringing my hands and the illusion would be completed. It’s likeChinese water torture. Yeah. That’s it.

This does nothing. My heart thumps faster and faster, beating against my lungs,my ribcage, my head… I’m going insane, I thought. I had to do something about it.My instinct instructed me to turn around fast . And I did. Faster than I’ve ever

done anything in my life. I know this because my brain still kept spinning around in my

skull when I stopped and made me stumble and sway.

There was my proverbial Big Brother. And it sure as Hell wasn’t Teddie.Yosuke was staring right at me. He was rather close to me, too. Like, noses

almost touching close. Unmanly close. The kind that calls for resounding cries of “no

homo”.“Um,” Yosuke sputtered, unable to look away, but desperately wanting to. “Are

you alright, partner? You’re shaking like a… leaf.”

“Were you watching me? This whole time?” I hissed. I was indeed shaking like aleaf, but I didn’t bother with confirming this.

“No! No, I wasn’t watching you, I…”

“Ooooh,” I object, “Ye-he-HES, you were. I know,” I continue, shaking my finger like the kind of lunatic you see regularly in sitcoms. “I know, because I’ve felt it this

whole time. The whole fucking time. Just staring. ”

In my peripheral vision, I see Yukiko clutch her precious fan to her chest

defensively.“I… can’t help it.” He admits. I am livid.

“Really? I guess that makes you a stalker. C’mon, Mark David Chapman.” I lift

my arms in the typical testosterone-crazed tough-guy fashion. “I’ll plant a restrainingorder on your face.”

And he just laughs. Laughs. Like a goddamn hyena. So much that he has to flop

on his knees to keep himself from falling over.“What’s so fucking funny?” I demand, grabbing him by the collar. I lift him up

and hold him closely, trying to make myself scary, as a lizard would make itself bigger to

appear threatening.



“Plant a restraining order on my face? Really? That’s the best you could come up

with?” He squeals, tears running down his face, his body consumed in spasms of hilarity.

To everyone’s misfortune, this got Yukiko involved in the festival of guffaws.Yosuke covered his face, as if closing himself off from the situation would calm him

down any.

At this, my mouth twitched. My chest heaves. My eyes squeeze shut. Soon, I’mlaughing right along with them.

I drop Yosuke so suddenly he falls on his ass. It doesn’t stop him. I tried to wipe

the tears from my face, but they just flowed harder and harder as I laughed and laughed.The built up stress melted from my shoulders as they shook in fits of giggles.

Once we had calmed down a little, I helped Yosuke to his feet. He was still

wobbly, and an occasional hiccup of a laugh would still escape. Yukiko was still going

strong, but followed us anyway, clutching her stomach. Yosuke started up again soonafter, and leaned on my shoulder to keep himself steady, snorting into my jacket.

“So, why were you staring at me again?” I asked, still grinning like the fool I had

made myself out to be.

“Like I said, I couldn’t help it,” Yosuke said, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.“You’re just… interesting, I guess. I wanna see what’s going on in that head of yours.”

Even though I still feel rather silly, this catches my attention and distracts me. Ilooked down at him, as my neurotic heart began to pound again. He is nervous, red

creeping across the bridge of his nose, but he smiles so warmly, so kindly, I feel so

strange…

And then I laugh.His glasses were crooked.

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Big Brother Loves You