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8/14/2019 Big Brother Loves You
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/big-brother-loves-you 1/3
8/14/2019 Big Brother Loves You
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/big-brother-loves-you 2/3
Zilch, as usual. I groaned, and we continue our journey. The paranoia is stubborn
and refuses to leave, despite assurances that nothing is there.
Somehow, Teddie contacts me from outside the… Bad Bad Bathhouse. “Sensei?You all right? I can smell your fear, even through the steam…”
“What are you talking about?” I half-screeched. The hysteria amplified my
emotions. “I’m not scared!”“Whatever you say, Sensei…” He said, that stupid giggly cocky tone in his voice.
“Good riddance,” I growled through harshly clenched teeth. I wondered if he was
the one who was making me so freaked out. Maybe the fact a furry Big Brother wasconstantly watching me did things to my psyche. Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was the
fact that every so often the “intercom” would click on and Kanji would giggle about how
good the gross service he’s experiencing at the hands of the Hulk Hoganites feels.Yes, that makes sense, I assure myself, sounding more and more like a normality-
desperate schizophrenic every minute. All I needed was to be rocking back in forth in
fetal position while wringing my hands and the illusion would be completed. It’s likeChinese water torture. Yeah. That’s it.
This does nothing. My heart thumps faster and faster, beating against my lungs,my ribcage, my head… I’m going insane, I thought. I had to do something about it.My instinct instructed me to turn around fast . And I did. Faster than I’ve ever
done anything in my life. I know this because my brain still kept spinning around in my
skull when I stopped and made me stumble and sway.
There was my proverbial Big Brother. And it sure as Hell wasn’t Teddie.Yosuke was staring right at me. He was rather close to me, too. Like, noses
almost touching close. Unmanly close. The kind that calls for resounding cries of “no
homo”.“Um,” Yosuke sputtered, unable to look away, but desperately wanting to. “Are
you alright, partner? You’re shaking like a… leaf.”
“Were you watching me? This whole time?” I hissed. I was indeed shaking like aleaf, but I didn’t bother with confirming this.
“No! No, I wasn’t watching you, I…”
“Ooooh,” I object, “Ye-he-HES, you were. I know,” I continue, shaking my finger like the kind of lunatic you see regularly in sitcoms. “I know, because I’ve felt it this
whole time. The whole fucking time. Just staring. ”
In my peripheral vision, I see Yukiko clutch her precious fan to her chest
defensively.“I… can’t help it.” He admits. I am livid.
“Really? I guess that makes you a stalker. C’mon, Mark David Chapman.” I lift
my arms in the typical testosterone-crazed tough-guy fashion. “I’ll plant a restrainingorder on your face.”
And he just laughs. Laughs. Like a goddamn hyena. So much that he has to flop
on his knees to keep himself from falling over.“What’s so fucking funny?” I demand, grabbing him by the collar. I lift him up
and hold him closely, trying to make myself scary, as a lizard would make itself bigger to
appear threatening.
8/14/2019 Big Brother Loves You
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/big-brother-loves-you 3/3
“Plant a restraining order on my face? Really? That’s the best you could come up
with?” He squeals, tears running down his face, his body consumed in spasms of hilarity.
To everyone’s misfortune, this got Yukiko involved in the festival of guffaws.Yosuke covered his face, as if closing himself off from the situation would calm him
down any.
At this, my mouth twitched. My chest heaves. My eyes squeeze shut. Soon, I’mlaughing right along with them.
I drop Yosuke so suddenly he falls on his ass. It doesn’t stop him. I tried to wipe
the tears from my face, but they just flowed harder and harder as I laughed and laughed.The built up stress melted from my shoulders as they shook in fits of giggles.
Once we had calmed down a little, I helped Yosuke to his feet. He was still
wobbly, and an occasional hiccup of a laugh would still escape. Yukiko was still going
strong, but followed us anyway, clutching her stomach. Yosuke started up again soonafter, and leaned on my shoulder to keep himself steady, snorting into my jacket.
“So, why were you staring at me again?” I asked, still grinning like the fool I had
made myself out to be.
“Like I said, I couldn’t help it,” Yosuke said, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.“You’re just… interesting, I guess. I wanna see what’s going on in that head of yours.”
Even though I still feel rather silly, this catches my attention and distracts me. Ilooked down at him, as my neurotic heart began to pound again. He is nervous, red
creeping across the bridge of his nose, but he smiles so warmly, so kindly, I feel so
strange…
And then I laugh.His glasses were crooked.