Springfield! Springfield! Movie & TV Scripts Screencaps & Framegrabs The Simpsons OtherMovie Scripts> Ben X (2007)Ben X (2007) Movie ScriptIt's hard to explain.It's hard to explain myself.But I never tell lies.Everything I say is true,even whenI don't say a thing.Someone always has to die firstbefore anything happens.Otherwise life just goes onas if there's no problem.No. Someone alwayshas to die first.And then everyonesuddenly wakes up.But it's too late then.That's whysomeone had to die.Every morning I play my gamefrom 5:45 till 6:33.Always.I've now reached level 80.If you don't knowwhat that means,it's just... high.It means you're strong,respected in the world.Hundreds of thousandsof people online.But for more than a year,I've only been playingwith her.REMEMBER, PRINCESS MAY BEA MAN IN REAL LIFEYOU ARE YOUGLAD YOU ARE YOU TOOIn games you can be whoeverand whatever you like.Here you can only beone person...the jerk you seein the mirror.I have to teach himeverything.For example, I have toteach him to laugh.People like that.To "give them a smile,"as they say,which means smiling when reallythere's nothing to smile about.That's how you createyour own avatar.for my hands...and 15 for my hair.You're as strong asyour weapons and tools.My heart rate meter,for example,to keep track of my heart,as they say,for when I get nervous.Not that it makes meless nervous,but now I can see exactlyhow nervous I am.My mother.Now she's going to say,- "Good morning, Ben."- Good morning, Ben.People say that whetherit's a good morning or not."Good morning, Mom."People never say,"Bad morning."Did you sleep well, son?"Really well, Mom.It's nice of you to ask.Thank you."Have you seenmy troll, Ben?My brother Jonas.He's still small.I have to behis big brother and all.Trolls don't have horses.But somehow I never seemto know how to.Calm down, Ben.Calm down.Easy now, Ben.Okay?Don't takeany of it to heart."I won't, Mom."I won't, Mom.I won't take heart.Won't take it to heart.You are allowedto take heart, son.Use your head,don't get worked up.Give me a kiss.Go on.I've also got a weaponfor fighting noise...other noise, but nicer.Nicer noise.I've got to use my head.Think aheadand think a-heart.Be prepared, be forewarned.Forewarned is forearmed.It's all a matterof planning, of strategy.I can't say I was taken totallyby surprise, but...it just proved that...that everything that'd happenedup till now wasn't right.Before you dosomething like that,things must be...it simplyproved to me thatthings had just gone too far.Way too far.People are strange.They talkand talk and talk.And they drinkeach other's saliva.All I can do is watchand copy them,imitate them.EverythingI'll never learn.Because there was alwayssomething the matter...with me and with my hand.Throw it to someone.This is gettingout of hand!- Wrong.- What's wrong with you?I'm the manwho's always wrong,but no onecould tell me exactlyhow to be right.Hi, you faggots!Pat's got a new girlfriend.Sit down, darling.Not bad, eh? When an old girl'sin heat, sparks can fly.Do you know what your handin her knickers feels like?I don't want to know.Have you ever givena horse a lump of sugar?Bogaert and Desmet.I'm their best friend.At least,that's what they say.Oh, there's Benny,our best friend.Our alien from Pluto.Living proof that mandescended from mussels.- Mussels?- Hi, Benny-Boy.The man from Mars!Hi!Whitney Houstonfor Benny-Boy. Over.Come in, Benny-boy, over.Over, Benny-Boy.Do you read me?Hey, Benny-Boy.Masturbationmakes you deaf!Is anyone home?Deaf.Why did they alwayscome up with that?If I sat thereplaying quietly,they thought my earsweren't working.The doctor saidI could hearperfectly wellbut I didn't listen.He doesn't listen.Then they thought there was somethingwrong with my eyes.Can you see whatthose letters are?- Yes.- Yes.Can you tell mewhat those are?Yes.The idea is that you tell mewhat the letters are.C-O-H-Z-V,S-Z-N-D-C,V-K-C-N-R,K-C-R-H-N,V-O-R-K,R-H-S-O-N, K-S-V-R-H.He alwayslooked away as a baby.He never looked at me.He always lookedthrough me.Think of them as a computer that isconfigured differently.They see everything.They see every leafextremely clearly,but they don't seethe tree.They literally can't seethe wood for the trees.The big picture...that's what it's all about.You have to tryto see the big pictureand see thatthey don't see you.- Look where you're walking.- Retard.Look where you're walking.Retard.Whitney Houstonfor Benny-Boy...we have a problem.For Benny-Boy,the man from Mars.There are a couple every year.Always on their ownin the playground.It breaks my heartto see them,but what can you do?You can't nanny them.You can't hold their hand.Not now, that's for sure.I wanted my son to goto an ordinary school.My wife... my ex-wife...and I sometimesargued about it.But he was much smarter than someof the other kids there.An understandable question.Where is God?Where is He?Where is this manwith His long grey beard?With all the wars, the povertyand the injustice...where is God?People asked themselvesthe same questionin Jesus's time.Jesus was hanging thereon the crossand they said, "Jesus,why don'tyou do something?If your dad isboss of the universe,if you can raisesomeone from the dead,it's child's play for you.Click clack and you're free."Jesus, himself, wondered too.What doesthe New Testament say?At the ninth hour,Jesus cried with a loud voice,"My God, my God,why hast Thou forsaken me?"At that moment Jesushimself wonders that too.He is so humiliated,dispirited, disheartened,that Jesus himselfdoubts God.He lets go.In fact,Jesus commits suicide.Until he rises from the dead.Until the resurrection.And so God...God damn it, Bogaert!Leave Ben alone!It's not the first timeI've had to tell you this!You're going tobe in trouble!Ben's just differentfrom you,from the below-averagemembers of the class.Fortunately for him,if you ask me!But you obviously find itvery difficultto accept that someoneis different.Or is there somethingyou want to share with us?Maybe your thoughtson the textyou no doubt studiedin detail last night?- Yeah, okay.- Right.We're dying of curiosity.Does anyone knowwhat Jesus saidwhen they took him downfrom the cross?"Hey! My feet first!"That joke's grownreally long whiskers.My God,why hast Thou forsaken me?I ask myself the same questionnumerous times a day.Whoa whoa whoa!Hey! Calm down!Take it easy.Don't let thempush you around, Ben.Keep your cool.Kids like himdon't stand a chance.They're easy prey.They once stucka bandage over his mouthand told him the headmasterhad said they had to.He walked round all daywith the bandage over his mouth.He always broughta packed lunch with him,but he never managedto eat it.But what areyou supposed to do?What we always do...too little. Nothing.Here's our favorite boy.Well, Benny-Boy?Our Boy Jesus.Leave him alone, guys.Fuck off,Freddy faggot.It can't be easy, being different,eh, Benny-Boy?Whoa!Better than average, eh?In fact, we shouldlook up to you.You're the man!Calm down.Don't get worked up.Don't get worked up.Just stay calm.Smile.They saidto keep on smiling.Then it'll stop.They'll stop.Movie time!Action.Faggot!Loser!Faggot!Loser!Look at me, son.If you don't tell me,how am I supposedto know, Vertriest?Well, well!Look who's here.My favorite clients.- The 10th visit is free.- Do you know why you're here?- I don't know.- You really have no idea?Is it a quiz?Do you thinkit's funny, Desmet?To be honest, I don't thinkit's the least bit funny.Apparently you have been...how shall I put it?- Bullying Vertriest.We teased him,we didn't bully him.We do itto each other too.But a normal person realizesit's only in fun, sir.We try to treat himnormally,but normality doesn't comeeasy for him.We're not the ones throwing chairsthrough windows, sir.It's not easyfor us either.That'll do. Save the actfor the playground!As for you...now's the timeto open your mouth.Go on. Go on,say something.Tell me whatthose two clowns did.But it's easywith hindsight.Well, easier.That's to say...you feel likean old campaignerafter the war'sbeen lost.I can't remember how many timesI went to all these schools.Always the same old story.At this schoolwe try to preparethe pupilsfor the harsh realitiesof life.Sometimes we succeedand sometimes we don't.About the glass...The headmaster saidthey would let it be...Thank you....if I let them haveanother look at me.I hope we don't meetagain soon.So do I.And you'll let us knowwhat the doctor decides,whether he'll stayat this school?Yes.Come on, Ben.Your camera, Ben.Take a look at it.Seriously, look at it!Come on, Ben.It can't go on like this, Ben.It just can't.They come up with a theoryabout my personality,my character.But they don'teven know me,and they make me soundlike a monster.And I wonder...MARTIAN STRIPSWell, son,are you okay?Is something wrong?Do you wantto tell me something?No.You've got a message.Oh, it's from that girl Scarlite.When are we goingto see her in real life?Or doesn't thathappen these days?I'll leave you to chat,or whatever you call it.Good night, sleep tight.Why do they say"sleep tight"?How do you sleep tight?But she was waiting.For me.For me, Ben X.Ben X.She was waiting...for me.NOT WELLI'M DEADI'M DEAD TIREDREVIVE YOU TWO-BIT HEROARE YOU MAD?It's nice weather.Let's go to the hospital again, eh, Ben?Let's go and seethe doctor.Tell them everything again.Dr. Meyvaert willbe pleased to see us.What is everything?I wasn't normal.- I was special.- You're special.They all said so.Your son is hypersensitive.He's just sensitive.Emotionally dysfunctional.A light formof psychosis.Just a bit stressed.Like his mom?Let me give you this.We can always takea closer look."Take a closer look."Closer to what?WAITING ROOMThere's always a camera...that sees everything.Who's mad and who isn't.Sir.It's a waste of time.Just a waste of time.You've got toface up to it, Bob.It can't go on like this.We need help.The kid has no businessbeing here.None.None whatsoever.I don't wantto lose my mind!You won't lose anything.They said, "Just let yourself go."But they wouldn'tlet me go.A new line.Suddenly they knew what it was.I had a bad brain.Asperger's Syndrome.Asperger's Syndrome.It's a form of autism.That's what they discovered.I've got autism.Or autism has got me.The man had spentbut hadn't learnedto leave his nose alone.It's not easy.And it won't getany easier.But you have to remember that Benisn't feeble-minded.On the contrary,he's very strong.You could almost saystrong-minded.He talks and talksand talks,the man who understands me.He has extraordinary perception.In fact, he's an extraordinary boywho, every day,fights to be ordinary.The question is, should we help himto dispel the illusionthat he can livelike a normal boy?I've heard thathis grades are good.- Yes. Yes.- Excellent even.So why would we take himout of that school?Because he's beingbullied to death.That's why.Right.That happens.It shouldn't,but it does.At some point,they stick a label on you.Autism.Do you see?But that word...to me, my child wassimply my child.To me, Ben was Ben.They're volcanoes.They're walkingvolcanoes.We don't knowwhen they'll erupt.Time bombs living undercoverin our world.And the reaction often happensmuch later than the cause.We'll just carry onlike before. We can do it.We won't let themget to us.Then my fingerstold her everything.But she said,"No endgame without me."COMECome.END = BEGINNINGThe princess of letterson the other sideof the land...who is always by my sidewhen thingsget out of hand.Who knows mewithout knowing my name.Who could put me backtogether again.Who could make mesleep tight.She said, "Well, man,where's your plan?"The one-word plan."Let me help you,"she said..."to rise above it all.To rise above yourself."Calm down, Ben.Calm down.What's wrongwith you today?Got your phone?Call me if necessary.Don't takeany of it to heart.Give me a kiss.And don't get worked up.What exactlyhappened that day?Who can say?I only knew that he...I knew how my son feltby the way he slammedthe door in the morning.It wasn't a bad doorthat morning.At leastthat's what I thought.HEY MARTIAN,HE WHO TALKS IS GETTING IMe, the Martian.I'd be getting it.Getting it.Getting it.But getting what?I was always getting it.Always.Ben?Did you see it?Did you see what I filmed?Yes.Right...I didn't know you weresuch a Holy Joe!Are you okay, son?You know you can tell meif something's wrong.Is there a problem?- No.- Okay.What the helldo you think you're doing?Did you thinkthat was funny?- Yes, I thought it was pretty funny.- Am I laughing?Maybe you haven't gota sense of humor, sir.Don't start, Bogaert.Whoa whoawhoa whoa whoa.- You're playing with...- Fire!Yes, you're playingwith fire.Can't you takea joke, sir?You should defend yourself, son.Arm yourself against it.Arm yourself.Arm myself. A death cross.Its costs 350 goldin Archlord."If only we'd known,"they say."If only we'd known."What wouldthey have done?You see it comingevery year.You see it coming.Every eveningyou pray to Godthat it'll turn out okay.And usually it does.But I guess...this timewe forgot to pray.You only knowhow things turn out.And we know that now.I know one thing.The school willnever be the same again.Hi.Uh... Ben X.I don't know youin real life,but I stillknow you really well.I just want to saythat what counts in-gamecounts in real life too.You can't play an endgamewithout your healer, and that's me.I'm worried about you.Tomorrow I'll catch a trainthat gets to whereyou live at 10:22.I know you'll be there.You've never failedto keep an appointment, so...see you tomorrow.- Hi, Martian!- Hi, Benny-Boy.Hey, pal,you're so tense.Let's exchange ideas.If you have anyin that retarded head.The bus. My bus.My always-there busthat drives off.It's nice hereamongst the trees.Shall we sit on a benchnext to each other?Beardman told younot to get worked up.And he's right.Heart rate: 94.What's that?- That's some watch!- You're spoiled.Let me see!Don't get aggressive!Not like last time!- Take it easy.- You know what'll happen.- We're friends.- You know what'll happen.Take it easy, Desmet.We're all friends here.Jesus, you'rereally nuts.- Relax.- Call me if necessary.- Yes, Mom.- We're friends, aren't we?- Hey, what's that? Hey!- What's that?A Nokia 3250. Christ!What have you got that for?You can't talk, so how can youuse a phone?- We should have it.- It's to text his mommy.To send text messages?Let's see.Here, look at this.An MMS from...Who's that?- Frankenstein's got a girlfriend!- Scarlite.She's called Scarlite.Let's see.Who's that?Who is it?He's got a girlfriend.- Hey, she's not bad!- Definitely isn't!I just want to saythat what counts in-gamecounts in real life too.You can't play an endgamewithout your healer.Your healer?Is she your healer?Dealer more likely!Incredible!Tomorrow I'll catch a train that getsto where you live at 10:22.Tomorrow at 10:22,at the station,on the platform.We'll be there too, eh, Desmet?We've got to see this!We can't miss out on ourbest friend's first date!True or not true?Telephone.Telephone, Benny.- She's phoning him!- It's Mommy!Hello, Mommy.I'm in the parkwith my friends.Leave a messageafter the beep. Bye.Bye, Mommy.Oops, mailbox.Let me knowwhere you are, okay?Don't you mind beingstalked, Benny-boy?Always having to listento bullshit from your mother?I'll keep your phone,eh, Benny-Boy?What do you think?- Easy! Easy with the crucifix!- You are mad after all!Hey, Benny, telephone.It's Mommy.Aren't you going to answer it?It's Mommy.She'll come and get you.Come on, Ben.Answer your phone.My buddy Benny-Boy.You crazy Martian!We're not taking you with us again!And to think we hada present for you as well.Look, this is onlyfor our best friends.It's a little pillthat has a big effect.It's called a Superman.Superman.Open your mouth.There's a smiley on it,for people like youwho never laugh.Want it?Some water towash it down.You'll feel justlike Superman!There! Now swallow.The first one's freebecause you're our friend.It'll do you good.You won't be so aggressive any more.Here.So you know what time it is when you gowhining to the fatmaster.I don't believe this!Jesus Christ!I don't believe it!Phone me, please.What's that, Mom?Nothing, son.It's nothing.Let's go and lookfor Ben.Damn it.God damn it!Damn!Damn me!Where are you?Where are you?Feel.Feel me, Ben.Ben.You have to learnto feelif you wantto learn to feel good.Ben!What's up, son?What happened?Are you okay?Just look at you!Is everything okay?What's the matter?What's the matterwith you, Ben?That'll do, son.It's nothing, Mom.That's what peoplealways say, it's nothing.I'm healed, Mom.I'm really healed.Completely healed.Your big brotheris Superman!Calm down, Ben,please!That's enough!There's water comingout of your eyes, Mom.Water is comingout of your eyesbut I know what it is.Salt and moisture.Salt and moisture!People sayI don't understandbecause I don't understandfeelings, but I do.I know what they are.Do you rememberwhen I was littleI tried to pushthose tearsback into your eyes?It was just becauseI didn't want you to be sad.It's all right, Mom.People always sayit's all rightand they ask,"Is everything all right?"And then you reply,"Yes, yes!"Yes, everything's all right.Everything is right.Everything's going right."Everything's all right.Everything's going right.- I'm not crazy.- No!- Just a bit difficult.- Calm down, Ben.Yes, I'm a different cult.But I'm training myself.I'm training, training,training.I'm in bits.But I've been reborn,like in video games.- You always get a new life.- Come on, son.Let's go home.Come on, son.That's it.And then it was over.I was over.Eyes open again,head shut once more.Ben.What's that, Ben?Why didn't you tell me?- Ben...- Then it was time for truthfulness.Shamefulness, painfulness.Who did that?Tell me, Ben.Everything can bedestroyed so easily.Everything can bedestroyed so easily.Why couldn't I just bedestroyed too?Stop it, Ben.Stop it!Jonas!Jonas.Then I saw that jerkstanding there again.And I attacked him.I'd heard it before,the callingof night falling.Going rightto the end of pain.How beautiful!Blood flowing from a vein.A bit latermy father came round.My dad,who also never knowswhat to say.So I usuallyunderstand him that way.She'd come too.Sabine, his girlfriend,as he'd always say.Who always asked how I washolding up.How are you holding up?- It can't go on like this.- No, Sabine.It can't go on like this.But still, it will have to.It will have to.It's not the first timeand it won't be the last.Come on, Sabine. Leave it.It's okay, leave it.Look after him.The endgame.The end, the end,the end, the end.The end, the end,the end.The end, the end,the end, the end.The endgame.The endgame.Heart rate: 55.Under 13and you're dead.Then you've done it.You're finished.and you arrive.Where there's death, there's life.You can't play an endgamewithout your healerand that's me.Tomorrow I'll catch a train that getsto where you live at 10:22.- And I know you'll be there...- 9:36.Got to goto the station.I've got to goto the station.Calm down.Calm down, Ben.GONE OU DON'T WORRYI'll keep your phone.The station.The station.on the platform.We'll be there.We've got to see.I can't be late.She shouldn'thave to wait.She who doesn't knowwhat I look like, who I am.That I'm not there.But them...I knew I'd find her.I'd smell her,like the dog I am.There she was.She'd come.She'd really come.For real!She was waitingfor me.She was sendinga text message.Probably to me.To me about whom she can only fantasize,whom she doesn't recognize.To me who is herewith a phone that's disappeared.Then everything happenedso quickly, as they say.But everything always happenstoo quickly for me.She left.Because she couldn't seethe invisible me.But what my head couldn't do,my legs were able to.There's the train.A spaceship that has cometo collect us from a barren planet.Courage is everything.Doing what you thoughtyou couldn't do.Her scent was enough.The scent of a seasonthat hadyet to be inventedon a continentstill to be discovered,but that I could smellmiles from the coast.With her perfect neckturned towards me,she was dreamingup a landscape.I imagined howI'd place my lips there,staking my claim.My claim to liberation.Just sitting herein the warmth from her body,briefly, everythingwas perfect.This is a passengerannouncement:We are about toarrive in Brussels.Are you okay?I had to say something.Anything.But the only thing I sayis nothing.All I can do is leave.And she left.She just left.And I just hadto leave too.I was scared stiff.A mother feelsthese things.A hundred timesa second I thought,"Don't let him doanything stupid.Please don't let him doanything stupid."I rememberhe once asked me,"How many reasonsdoes someone needto commit suicide?"I asked him whathe meant by how many.He said,"How many? Two, five, 10?"That's what he wasthinking about.He wanted to knowif he had enough.The endgame.My plan.The one-word plan.Murder.The murder of myself.Catch the train.To nowhere.There is one advantageto killing yourself.You never haveto look far for your victim.You don't evendo it yourself,the train does it for you.What was his motive?A locomotive.If you thinkit's all over quickly,you're wrong.Even if you'relucky enoughto be decapitatedimmediately,apparently your headremains consciousfor anotherSo you can imagine that what goesthrough your mind isn't pleasant.Seeing bits of your bodyflying in all directions.They say thatjust before you die...your life flashesbefore your eyes like a film.So?Did you see anything?- But who...- Who pushed you?Me, of course.Who else, blockhead?You?Does he haveany distinguishing scarsor birthmarks?Scars?It was already broken,wasn't it?Did you notice anythingout of the ordinary?I don't get it, Ben.Honestly.Ben.Are you the man who escapedfrom the dungeon of Silancium?Who crossed Windrill Desertalone with me?Who fought Bailor?Who crossed the swampsof Ondekon with me?Who conquered Zerdin?You're level 80,for God's sake.And that's your endgame?You just throw yourselfunder a train?Was that your plan?Just click on exitand log out."Gone out.Don't worry."That's good news,isn't it?It means he's gone outfor a bit and you don't have to worry.My son doesn'tjust go out for a biton a Saturday morning.He's not able to.Besides, look.I found this.I don't knowif you know, Ben, but...in real lifedying is fairly definite.You can't changeyour mind.You can dieas much as you like.But not for real.That's not the waywe play, Ben.You're level 80.Do you want to quitthis world, Ben?Go on then, go.But if you want revenge,take revenge.Otherwise you're exactlywhat they say you are,a loser.Play to win, Ben.Everything'sa matter of planning,of strategy.Don't youjust love Fanta?I'm really happy...that you're you.We'll file a missingperson's reportand circulate hisdescription nationally.What about this?What are you going to doabout this?I'll inform oursocial services unit.They're familiarwith things like that,unfortunately.Ben!"I just wanted to go away,"he said."But I didn't dare diebecause I didn't know what that was."Was that your big plan?Ben?How are we goingto do it?Take poison?No.Imagine if you took poisonand then changed your mind.You'd have to callthe Poison Center."Hello?"The peopleat the Poison Centerget lots of phone callslike that.That's for idiots.Or you could hangyourself.That's cool. Apparently you diewith a huge erection.But thenyou shit yourself.That's not coolbeing found like that, eh?Ben.Do you know what elsethey always findunder the fingernailsof someonewho's hung themselves?Little bits of ropeand skin.Do you know why?Because theyalways desperately tryto get the ropeoff their neck.But they can't.The chair's too far awayand they can't reach it.You think it's exciting,huh, Ben?Dying.Dying.Then everything is solvedin one fell swoop.Ben is solvedin one fell swoop.Aren't you going to takeone last lookto see if there'sanother solution?Take one lastlook around.You need to be morecreative, damn you!Shut up, beautiful.You are so beautiful."Assemble a guild," she said."Like in Archlord."It was her idea.Some quests are too bigfor two."You have to help me,"he said.So we helped him.We knew everyone would saythat you can't do that.But that's more or lesswhy I did it.Smoking's forbidden here,Sabrina.My name's Sabine.You should be gratefulfor not being able to smoke.Yeah,I'm really grateful.You'll live halfa day longer.You're not serious,right?You're not reallygoing to do this!You know you can't!I can't do it!Sabine, you don't haveto do anything.You insisted on coming.I don't care whetheryou come or notbut if you thinkit's easy for us,you're wrong.Look.The sea.The end of the world.You know whatthey say, Ben?Every end is a beginning.Anyone want anything to eat?Ben?- Sabine?- No, thanks.Don't you feel very well,Sabine?Not really, no.Is this how you wantit to be, Ben?Right.Ben, uh...I'II...Ben!Ben!I have to put my back into it.Everything is a matterof thinking ahead.And thinking a-heart.Everything is a matterof willpower.Courage is everything.Ultimately doing the thingthat you can't do.If you die in a gamethen you're justout of the game for a whileand you have to goand look for your body.All they found of mewas a tape.And I had gone.These are particularlydisturbing imagesthat once again remind usthat one Flemish youngstertakes his or her life every week.In a recent study,between 15 and 18say that they have attemptedsuicide at some point.A very worrying figure.And now the sports.At the Indian Wellstournament...Everyone here today,members of the family,colleagues,ladies and gentlemen,girls and boys...we've all cometogether todayto say goodbyeto a very special young manwho was taken from usso suddenlyand tragically.Ben's life was never easy.His condition made thingsvery difficult for him.Maybewe only realize now,when it's too late,that he battled againsthis handicap,if you can call it that,that was much worsethan we could've imagined.We never reallyhad any real contact with himand won't be able to now.Today all we can dois acceptthat some thingsare justtoo heavy to bear.That is why...Hello.Thank you for coming.I too have cometo an end,as they say.Come to an end.I died of myself.Fellow menand un-fellow men...my fight is over.At the end of your life,they say a filmof your life flashesbefore your eyes.Here are a few scenesthat may interest you.Go on, Ben.Now, the endgame.She called it dying creatively.Suicide without the dying.Dying without quitting.Or quitting without dying.I had to learn everything.But I'd forgottenthe most important thing.Learning to lie.To deceive.Someone had to die first.Otherwise you wouldn'thave come.Not for a boy.You can't keep onbegging and asking...You're so angry, Mommy.And asking again and againthat something be doneto put a stop to it.That they'd finally stoptormenting my sonand making his life...sorry, but it's true...making his lifeso impossible.His autism is his problem,but it's not a problem to him.The others are the problem.The others.They have to learnto leave my kid alone.Ben just wanted to quit.Now he has.Fortunately,he's still alive.He's alive.In his own world, maybe,but he's alive.He's alive!He's living his life.She said,"It's high timeto become who you are."Just let it happen, Ben.Don't be scared.If you wantto learn to feel good,you have to learn to feel.Stroke him.I've never beenwhat they call happy.But I've never beenthis kind of happy.Beautiful, no?You don't have to talk to animals.Do you dare sit on it,you two-bit hero?As soon as peoplesee a horse,they want to sit on it.But has anyoneever heard a horseask for that?Do you?If a horse could choose...Yes, well...