Upload
tranminh
View
216
Download
0
Embed Size (px)
Citation preview
1
Contents
p. 1 an introduction
pp. 2-20 – Phase 1: Readiness to Learn
pp. 21-34 – Phase 2: Emotional Control
© Richard Lindo 2014
2
Introduction
‘Behaviour for Learning’ is a small student-centred handbook.
The handbook is designed as ready-made resource to use with students to help
them better understand and manage their behaviour.
The B4L handbook is most effective in a one-to-one situation where a member
of staff can sit down with a student and take them through the handbook.
Chunking the activities into different sessions will help students to learn one
strategy at a time and not feel overloaded.
Used consistently, the B4L has a proven impact on student behaviour and
successful re-integration into lessons.
3
Behaviour for Learning
Phase 1- Readiness to Learn
Contents
Part One – Readiness-to-Learn: an introduction
Part Two – My Behaviour
Part Three – My Attitude
Part Four – My Targets
4
Part One
Readiness-to-Learn: an introduction
1. What is Readiness-to-Learn…?
Readiness-to-Learn is a map of skills which improves your behaviour.
2. How will it help me to learn…?
The chart includes five coloured strands. The strands follow the order as
laid out above. Each strand includes skills you need to behave well in
lessons. For example, the first skill in the pink strand is ‘Listening’. If you
learn how to listen properly in lessons, you will find lessons easier.
5
Task 1 – tick one strand you need to improve (e.g. Emotional Intelligence)
Empathy (understanding people’s feelings)
Sensitivity (picking up on people’s moods)
Sympathy (caring about other people)
Dignity (respecting yourself and other people)
Humility (being polite and being able to say ‘sorry’)
Relativity (being open-minded and not narrow-minded)
Listening (looking at the speaker and sitting still)
Gesture (calm, non-threatening body-language)
Tone (calm, polite tone-of-voice)
Praise (praising others / using positive language)
Humour (using humour to build relationships – not sarcasm)
Engaging (including your friends – not excluding them)
Desire (setting yourself goals/targets to achieve)
Drive (being determined to achieve your goals)
Resilience (being ‘mentally tough’ in the face of obstacles)
Stamina (having ‘mental reserves’ when you’re tired/frustrated)
Confidence (believing you ‘can’ achieve)
Pride (having a positive self-image – your self-esteem)
Operating (staying on task in lessons – not getting distracted)
Arriving (arriving on time to lessons and lining up quietly)
Organising (having the right equipment for every lesson)
Recording (writing down homework quickly and accurately)
Revising (having effective revision strategies – knowing how to revise)
Performing (knowing how to get ‘in the zone’ for exams/tests)
Relationship Skills
Motivation
Time-and-Motion
Emotional Intelligence
6
Task 2 – tick the two skills in the strand you think you need to improve.
Empathy (understanding people’s feelings)
Sensitivity (picking up on people’s moods)
Sympathy (caring about other people)
Dignity (respecting yourself and other people)
Humility (being polite and being able to say ‘sorry’)
Relativity (being open-minded and not narrow-minded)
Listening (looking at the speaker and sitting still)
Gesture (calm, non-threatening body-language)
Tone (calm, polite tone-of-voice)
Praise (praising others / using positive language)
Humour (using humour to build relationships – not sarcasm)
Engaging (including your friends – not excluding them)
Desire (setting yourself goals/targets to achieve)
Drive (being determined to achieve your goals)
Resilience (being ‘mentally tough’ in the face of obstacles)
Stamina (having ‘mental reserves’ when you’re tired/frustrated)
Confidence (believing you ‘can’ achieve)
Pride (having a positive self-image – your self-esteem)
Operating (staying on task in lessons – not getting distracted)
Arriving (arriving on time to lessons and lining up quietly)
Organising (having the right equipment for every lesson)
Recording (writing down homework quickly and accurately)
Revising (having effective revision strategies – knowing how to revise)
Performing (knowing how to get ‘in the zone’ for exams/tests)
Relationship Skills
Motivation
Time-and-Motion
Emotional Intelligence
7
Task 3 – think about how you could change these two skills and who could
help you.
Use the explanations next to each skill to help you.
For example, if you chose ‘listening’ and ‘tone’ from the
‘Relationships’ strand, you could say:
Task 4 – The Mood Mountain
‘The Mood Mountain’ is based on four levels of feelings. It
explains how people feel when others behave badly towards
them. Each time people behave badly, they destroy the mood of
others and send them down ‘The Mood Mountain’.
Task:
1. Think about the people who were affected by your recent behaviour.
2. What level of ‘The Mood Mountain’ were these people on before you
displayed poor behaviour…?
3. What level were they on after you displayed poor behaviour…?
“In my next lesson, I’ll listen better by looking at the
teacher and sitting still. I’ll make sure my tone of
voice is calm and polite so I don’t disturb the learning
of others.”
8
Task 5 – The Trauma Triangle
The ‘Trauma Triangle’ explains what happens to us when we get upset.
Trauma is the ‘emotional scars’ of bad experiences.
Bad experiences ‘trigger’ our emotional scars. This makes us upset/angry.
Task:
1. Draw your own ‘Trauma Triangle’ (like the one in the picture).
2. In the space in triangle, write down what you feel when you’re told
off.
Point: When you behave badly, you put people in ‘The Trauma Triangle’.
Told off
Upset Left out
Angry
A
nn
oy
ed
Us
ele
ss
I switch off
9
Task 6 – Quiz
This quiz will test your understanding of Part One.
Question 1: What are the 5 strands of Readiness-to-Learn?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Question 2: Do the Readiness-to-Learn strands have a specific order?
Yes/No (circle the right answer)
Question 3: Can you explain Readiness-to-Learn in your own words?
For example: ‘Readiness-to-Learn is about…’
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Question 4: What’s ‘The Mood Mountain’?
For example: ‘The Mood Mountain explains…’
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Question 5: What’s ‘The Trauma Triangle’?
For example: ‘The Trauma Triangle helps me to understand…’
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
© Kija Ltd 2013
10
Part Two
My behaviour: an introduction
The main reason you are in INTEX is because of your behaviour. This section
will help you to understand the reasons for your behaviour. To behave well,
you need to use certain skills well (below). The more of these skills you know
and use, the better your behaviour will be.
The image (below) shows you a ‘behaviour ladder’.
The ladder starts at the bottom with Emotional Intelligence. All good behaviour
begins with emotional intelligence.
Empathy (understanding people’s feelings)
Sensitivity (picking up on people’s moods)
Sympathy (caring about other people)
Dignity (respecting yourself and other people)
Humility (being polite and being able to say ‘sorry’)
Relativity (being open-minded and not narrow-minded)
Emotional Intelligence
11
Task 1 -using the chart below, tick the one skill you think you need to use
improve your behaviour (e.g. empathy)
Empathy (understanding people’s feelings)
Sensitivity (picking up on people’s moods)
Sympathy (caring about other people)
Dignity (respecting yourself and other people)
Humility (being polite and being able to say ‘sorry’)
Relativity (being open-minded and not narrow-minded)
Task 2 - write one sentence explaining why you need to use this skill (e.g.
empathy) to improve your behaviour. You can start your sentence like this:
I need to use the skill of __________ because I put myself first too much in
lessons.
If I use the skill of __________ more I’ll get on better with my teacher.
When I talk to people I don’t show a lot of ___________ for how they’re
feelings which makes me seem insensitive.
Write your own sentence on the line below:
Empathy Sensitivity Sympathy Dignity Humility Relativity
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
Emotional Intelligence
12
The second part of the ‘behaviour ladder’ is relationship skills. A major part of
good behaviour is building good relationships with people.
Listening (looking at the speaker and sitting still)
Gesture (calm, non-threatening body-language)
Tone (calm, polite tone-of-voice)
Praise (praising others / using positive language)
Humour (using humour to build relationships – not sarcasm)
Engaging (including your friends – not excluding them)
Task 3 – describe a situation (in or out of school) where not having a
relationship skill (e.g. listening) has got you into trouble. You can start your
sentence like this:
In my English lessons, I get into trouble a lot because I don’t ______________
which means I interrupt the lesson a lot.
At home, I get told off a lot for being rude and having a poor __________ of
voice.
Relationship Skills
13
My tutor has told me that my ____________ makes me seem aggressive just
by the way I point and look at people.
Write your own sentence on the line below:
Listening Gesture Tone Praise Humour Engaging
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
Task 4 – below is an image of the learning brain. You’ll see the letters EQ.
EQ = emotional intelligence (the six red skills on page 11). You’ll also see the
letter RS. RS = relationship skills (the pink skills on page 11). Without turning
back and checking in the booklet, how many of these skills can you remember?
Write down your answers here. For example:
EQ skills are: empathy, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________
RS skills are: listening, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________
EQ EQ
EQ EQ EQ EQ RS RS
RS RS RS RS
14
Task 5 – Quiz
This quiz will test your understanding of Part Two.
Question 1: What are the 5 levels of the ‘behaviour ladder’?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Question 2: Does the ‘behaviour ladder’ have a specific order?
Yes/No (circle the right answer)
Question 3: Can you name the six emotional intelligence skills?
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Question 4: Can you name the six relationships skills?
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Question 5: Which two skills are going to improve your behaviour?
Skill 1: _____________________
Skill 2: _____________________
15
Part Three
My attitude: an introduction
Attitude can be different to behaviour. You can behave in lessons but have a
negative attitude. Here are some examples:
Poor behaviour: not following instructions, calling out, being rude, disrupting
Poor attitude: not trying your best, saying “I can’t do it” before you’ve tried
This section helps you to understand that attitude is as important as behaviour
and, without a positive attitude, you are unable to learn and get along with
people.
The image (below) shows you ‘The Manners Matrix’.
Respect
“I’m polite”
Responsibility
“I’m sorry”
Readiness
“I’m prepared”
Reflection
“I should have”
Task 1 – using the image of ‘The Manners Matrix’ (above) tick the
areas you think you already have (e.g. respect)
Task 2 – now circle the areas you don’t have (e.g. readiness)
Task 3 – write a sentence explaining how your behaviour would
improve by using the areas from ‘The Manners Matrix’ you don’t use. E.g.
If I took responsibility for things, I’d be able to say sorry more easily and
stop falling out with people.
16
We all have a ‘default’ attitude. Your ‘default’ attitude is your typical attitude.
A negative attitude is based one of three negative behaviour patterns.
Look at the image of the three negative behaviour patterns (below):
Task 4 – tick the negative behaviour patterns you think you have
Task 5 – tick the positive behaviour pattern you think you need the most
Negation
“I’m rubbish”
Denial
“I didn’t”
Avoidance
“I can’t”
Validation
“I’m valued”
Acceptance
“Okay, I did it”
Addressing
“I need to”
17
Task 6 – write a sentence explaining how your behaviour would improve by
using your positive behaviour pattern. Example:
I usually give up as soon as things get hard. Instead of avoiding things and
saying “I can’t”, I need to address difficult things better and realise that I
need to fight through things I find difficult to improve in lessons and to sort
‘fall outs’ with friends.
18
Task 7 – Quiz
This quiz will test your understanding of Part Three.
Question 1: What are the 4 parts of ‘The Manners Matrix’?
1.
2.
3.
4.
Question 2: What are the three negative patterns?
1.
2.
3.
Question 3: What are the three positive behaviour patterns?
1.
2.
3.
19
Part Four
My targets: an introduction
Go back to Part Two ‘My Behaviour’. Write down the skill you chose to focus
on in the box below (e.g. empathy)
Go back to Part Three ‘My Attitude’.
1. write down the area of ‘The Manners Matrix’ you chose to focus on (e.g.
respect)
2. write down the positive behaviour pattern you chose to focus on (e.g.
acceptance)
The skill I need to focus on is:
The skill I need to focus on is:
The area of ‘The Manners Matrix’ I need to focus on is:
The skill I need to focus on is:
The positive behaviour pattern I need to focus on is:
The skill I need to focus on is:
20
‘Bottle’ what you’ve
learned
In the space, write
down what you’ve
learned in words
and phrases
The Manners Matrix
Empathy
Readiness to
Learn
Responsibility
The Mood Mountain
Tone of voice
22
Contents Page
Part One – Introduction
Part Two – Behaviour Patterns
Part Three – Trauma Triggers
Part Four – Managing Emotional Storms
23
Introduction
Phase 2 of ‘Behaviour for Learning’ looks at your Emotional Control.
Emotional Control looks at the reasons you feel angry, frustrated, upset and
how you can control these feelings better.
Phase 2 builds on Phase 1.
Phase 1 was about your ‘Readiness to Learn’. ‘Readiness to Learn’ looked at
good you were in and out of the classroom.
Phase 2 will look at how well you control your emotions in and out of school.
There are three parts to this booklet:
1. Behaviour Patterns (how you behave and why)
2. Trauma Triggers (the things that set you off)
3. Managing Emotional Storms (learning how to calm down)
At the end of this booklet you should understand the reasons for your
behaviour better. You should have ways of controlling your behaviour.
Look at the grid below. Circle five words which describe how you feel now.
angry upset guilty blamed sad
frustrated hyper depressed tearful annoyed shame ignored punished alone scared
24
angry
upset
guilty frustrated
annoyed
Please turn over when you’ve finished this page.
Now put the five words which describe how you feel in the five circles. (Look at
the example below.)
angry upset guilty blamed sad
frustrated hyper depressed tearful annoyed shame ignored punished alone S cared
Put your five words into the five empty circles (below).
25
frustrated
annoyed
angry
guilty
upset
Put your five words into the blank chart below. Put your strongest feeling at
the top. Put your weakest feeling at the bottom.
Now put your five words into an order. The top word = the strongest feeling.
The bottom word = weakest feeling. (Look at the example below.)
26
Now you are going to fill in a simple graph to help you see what you feel. Look
at the example below. The five feelings have been displayed to show the
strongest (i.e. frustrated in red) and the weakest (i.e. upset in yellow).
Look at the graph below. You will see blank spaces under each bar. Fill in the
blank spaces with your five words. The strongest feeling goes under the
highest bar. The weakest feeling goes under the smallest bar.
Frustrated Annoyed Angry Guilt Upset
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
My Feelings
Frustrated
Annoyed
Angry
Guilt
Upset
__________ __________ __________ __________ __________
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
My Feelings
__________
__________
__________
__________
__________
27
Why do we feel these feelings? “Shame, guilt, blame” explained.
All of our negative feelings are rooted in feelings of shame, guilt or blame.
Shame, guilt and blame are our first negative feelings as young children.
Safety, love and belonging are our first positive feelings as young children.
All of our negative feelings are based on one core feeling. This feeling is called
negation. Negation means feeling bad.
All of our positive feelings are based on one core feeling. This feeling is called
validation. Validation means feeling valued.
Bad feelings and bad behaviour
We behave badly when we have bad feelings. As soon as we have a bad feeling
it triggers other bad feelings. This is called ‘the negation needle’. ‘The negation
needle’ explains the feeling of being pricked by bad feelings which upset us.
The picture below explains the ‘ripple effect’ of bad feelings.
Upset
Guilt
Angry
Annoyed
Frustrated
Negation
28
The image below explains what happens inside us when bad feelings build up.
We end up behaving badly, being rude, walking away, answering back or
exploding.
What you’re going to learn now is a way to stop bad feelings making you
behave badly. This is called emotional control.
You are now ready to take the quiz for this section.
Upset
Guilt
Angry
Annoyed
Frustrated
Negation
29
Quiz - Section 1
3. Explain the ‘ripple effect’ of bad feelings. There are six feelings in
total. The first one has been completed for you.
1. Negation (not feeling valued)
2. ____________________
3. ____________________
4.____________________
5.____________________
6.____________________
1. All of our negative feelings are rooted in three core feelings. The first
one has been filled in for you. Can you name the other two...?
1. Shame
2. _____________
3. _____________
2. All of our positive feelings are rooted in three core feelings. The first
one has been filled in for you. Can you name the other two...?
1. Safety
2. _____________
3. _____________
30
Part Two – Behaviour Patterns
The diagram (below) explains your behaviour patterns. We all have positive (+)
and negative (-) behaviour patterns.
Now we’re going to look at how negative behaviour patterns can affect you.
Behaviour Patterns
- Behaviour Patterns
Negation
Expecting the worst
Avoidance
Hiding from things
Denial
Not owning up
+ Behaviour Patterns
Validation
Seeing the positive
Addressing
Facing up to things
Acceptance
Owning up
Negative Behaviour Patterns
Negation
Expecting the worst
When you expect the
worst, you see negative
things that aren’t
actually there. Like
thinking you’re being
told off when you’re
not.
Avoidance
Hiding from things
Because negation
makes you expect the
worst, you overact to
things. To avoid these
negative feelings, you
often walk away, shut
down.
Denial
Not owning up
Avoiding negative
feelings is your way of
making your anger go
away. In this state of
frustration, you will
deny you’re upset if
you’re asked about it.
1 2 3
31
Trauma
bad experience
Memories
of other bad experiences
Mood
bad feelings
Reactions
bad behaviour
Reframing
looking back
Repairing
letting go
Now we’re going to look at how positive behaviour patterns can help you.
You’ve looked at how positive behaviour patterns can help you. Now you’re
going to look at the positive behaviour cycle.
Positive Behaviour Patterns
Validation
Seeing the positive
Validation is having a
mindset which sees the
positive in things. So if
something goes wrong,
you think about the
good things you can
learn from it.
1 Addressing
Facing up to things
Once you start to
address (face up to)
things, you realise
that any anger quickly
goes away. Anger is
caused by not facing
up to things.
2 Acceptance
Owning up
Once you start to
address (face up to)
things, you find it
much easier to own
up to things. Owning
up is the first step in
changing behaviour.
3
The Positive
Behaviour
Cycle
1
2
3
4
5
6
32
Trauma
told off
Memories
of being told off in the
past
Mood
embarassed
worthless
Reactions
angry
upset
Reframing
"That was then, this is
now."
Repairing
letting go
The most important part of the positive behaviour cycle is reframing = ‘looking
back and letting go’. Here’s an example of reframing.
Reframing
Look again
“That was then, this
is now.”
How ‘Reframing’ stops bad behaviour
1
2
3
4
5
6
The Positive
Behaviour
Cycle
33
Reframing stops bad feelings and bad behaviour. The diagram below shows
you how reframing works. You basically re-think the situation to stop bad
feelings. When bad feelings stop, bad behaviour stops.
Reframing
Look again
“That was then,
this is now.”
34
Quiz – Section 2
1. What are the three negative behaviour patterns?
1. _____________
2. _____________
3. _____________
3. What are the three positive behaviour patterns?
1. _____________
2. _____________
3. _____________
2. What are the six steps in the positive behaviour cycle?
1. _______________
2. _______________
3. _______________
4. _______________
5.________________
6.________________
4. What is ‘reframing’?
Reframing is
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________