BEHAVIOR COMMUNICATION

ASSERTIVENESS

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prepared by Mark Sweet PhDTrainer and ConsultantDisability Rights WisconsinSummer 2009

Most frequent Words

Most Frequent Topics

What we think & believe What we do

Most of us watch & listen to confirm what we already think & believe.

HOW can we watch & listen to understand the child’s POV?

be a beginner – soft eyes, soft ears

What makes behavior good or bad?

Words & Characterizations manipulative noncompliant stubborn uncooperative lazy perseverating challenging distractible wild out of control doesn’t care inappropriate

Are these how children would describe their intentions?

POINTS OF VIEW

time / schedule sensation lesson / activity attractions expectations understanding rules impulses what s/he didn’t do emotions what s/he did wrong coping

(adults) (children)

POWER & CONTROL

ASSERTIVENESS: Why & How did you learn?

Wanting creates Energy

Energy can be __ skillful or __ unskillful

When do children with disabilities learn to be assertive?

What if they don’t learn?

Bad Behavior / Unskillful Assertiveness

Compliant Assertive

Would you rather support someone Who’s easier to take advantage or harm?

Behavior is an Act of Assertiveness

from: Behavior Specialists to: Assertiveness Specialists

Is our GOAL to achieve compliance, or TO STIMULATE THINKING?

They Are Not Adults

They Have Their Points of View

Learning Is Not The Same As Learned

To Understand – Ask more questions – & invite others to think with you

What do you see or hear …?

When is it more likely to occur?

(if you wanted to provoke it…)

When is it less likely …?

What does s/he probably understand (about the activity, things, relationship…)

What is s/he probably experiencing?

What is s/he probably feeling (emotions)?

What is s/he trying to accomplish?

What might s/he be coping with?

What is s/he trying to accomplish?

With ease of language, what message?

What are your expectations (today)?

How are you helping her/him to learn?

What else is usable information?

What is USABLE Information?

Values / Curiosity

Humor

Relationships

Temperament

Well-Being

Possible Trauma History

Sensory Sensitivities

Learning

TO MAXIMIZE THINKING

Make ‘asking’ routine

not just when there’s a problem

Ask routine questions

to create thoughtful anticipation

Listen well & Ask more

‘The Story’ should include

the child’s POV

Thinking can lead to relationships

What might help…

…to prevent or avoid

…to make more understandable

…to make more manageable

…to help cope

…to help participate

…to teach skillful assertiveness

How Could You Inhibit Assertiveness?

Issues for Assertiveness Coaches?

______________________________________ What will you do with this session?

A Thinking Guide to Inclusive Childcare

by Mark Sweet PhD

The CORE of a Good Life: Guided Conversations with Parents on Raising Young Children with Disabilities

by Molly Murphy PhD & Mark Sweet PhD

Available at: disabilityrightswi.org

Click: Publications & Search: the title

Creating Safety

Mark Sweet PhDTrainer & ConsultantDisability Rights Wisconsin 608 267 0214msweet@drwi.orgdisabilityrightswi.org