Befriend Yourself

Copyright 2014, Happy Family Institute, all rights reserved,

No duplication, Version 2014, www.happyfamilyinstitute.org

Befriend Myself 2014

Happy Family Institute presents

Awareness Series Booklet #25

Befriend Yourself in 21 Days

The most important Relationship is the one you have with yourself.

Start here and set yourself FREE forever in 21 days.

Yasmin Abouelhassan

Life & Relationship Coach




Copyright and Legal Notices

Copyright Notices No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,

mechanical or electric, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or

retrieval system without permission in writing from the author.

Requests for permission or for more information should be sent to:

Yasmin Abouelhassan, E-mail: [email protected]

Legal Notices

The purpose of this manual is to provide information on the matter covered and as a personal

awareness tool. All attempts have been made to verify information at the time of this publication

and the author does not assume responsibility for errors, omissions or other interpretations of

the subject matter. This manual results from the experience of the author and if legal or medical

or psychological assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be

engaged. This tool does not substitute any type of therapy if needed. The author assumes no

responsibility for any actions made by the reader. The purchaser or reader of this manual

assumes responsibility for the use of these materials and information. The author assumes no

responsibility or liability on the behalf of any purchaser or reader of this manual.




Acknowledgements I am very grateful to my great and loving mother; Thanaa Salem for she has been the premier

support for me in all my steps. She is the one who hears me out when I get an idea, witnesses all

my steps and finally reads, watches, and amends through her insightful opinions.

I am so grateful to my son; Zeiad who has been my primary motivator for the whole journey of

life. Not only is he my North Star, he is my advisor at lots of times through his enlightening

vision, wisdom and sense.

I am also grateful to my semi-twin sister; Amel who always takes the time to review my

products and give me wise and loving insights that always puts the material in more appealing

function.

I am grateful to my brother; Mohamed who despite not having enough time to read or review,

has great faith and believes in me.

I am extremely grateful to all my beloved customers whose inspirations and needs are my

motivation to create products and learn more. Their feedback and usage of my material are the

fuel for my journey in coaching and writing.

I am grateful to God who has guided me to this path and in every step I take.

Yasmin Abouelhassan




Contents

Copyright and Legal Notices ................................................................................................................. 2

Acknowledgements ............................................................................................................................... 3

Introduction ........................................................................................................................................... 7

Set the intention .................................................................................................................................... 9

The reason Why?? ................................................................................................................................ 10

My Contract ........................................................................................................................................... 11

My Blocks to Befriend Myself: .............................................................................................................. 13

Negative Feelings ........................................................................................................................... 13

My Failures & Setbacks ................................................................................................................... 14

Trials & Errors ................................................................................................................................15

Self-Forgiveness ............................................................................................................................. 17

My make over plan ............................................................................................................................... 19

The Kickoff ........................................................................................................................................... 22

5 Stages for Self-Love (Knowledge Acceptance Acknowledgment Appreciation - Love) .... 22

Step1: Know Myself .............................................................................................................................. 23

Basic Self-Introduction: ................................................................................................................ 23

My Self-beliefs ............................................................................................................................... 23

How People See me: ....................................................................................................................... 24

I know about myself that: ..............................................................................................................25

Step2: Self Acceptance: ..................................................................................................................... 33

Step3: Self Acknowledgements .......................................................................................................... 37

Significant Milestone in my life ............................................................................................... 39

Step 4: I appreciate about myself that: .............................................................................................. 41

My Self-worth ................................................................................................................................. 45

I DESERVE: ...................................................................................................................................... 46

My Self-Respect ............................................................................................................................ 48

My Self-Trust ................................................................................................................................. 49

My IDEAL Life ...................................................................................................................................51




My Requirements, Needs and Wants ............................................................................................ 53

Step 5: I Love Myself ...........................................................................................................................56

5 things Exercise:.......................................................................................................................... 56

Final Exercise: ................................................................................................................................ 57

To myself: ....................................................................................................................................... 57

My Celebration Day: ...................................................................................................................... 59

My Maintenance Routine ...................................................................................................................... 61

My Insights after 21 days .................................................................................................................... 62

About Yasmin Abouelhassan .............................................................................................................. 63

10 Reasons are my answer to the question WHY I transitioned to Coaching? ...........................65




Day 1




Introduction Befriend Yourself is a manual dedicated to you to start your practical steps into the journey of your Self-Love; a skill never spoken about before in our daily lives. Moreover Self-Love is a

trait that is always labelled as a sign of selfishness. And sometimes we meet people who claim

they love themselves and their proof is that they indulge themselves in addictive and unhealthy

behaviours like overeating or over shopping or drinking or being irresponsible in health or work

or money, etc. Indeed this in itself is a sign of an extreme lack of Self-Love.

When you love yourself, you put yourself in the picture of your own life. You put yourself as one

of the heroes in your own life. Actually consider being the star in your own life. Self-love means

spending time with yourself to know how it changes and why and even promoting change

whenever needed according to how you want yourself to prosper and shine.

All this doesnt mean you be selfish, opportunistic or manipulative, it only means not to eliminate yourself from the scene of your own life. Put yourself into your perspective among your loved

ones. I love the saying that I learnt through coaching: You are the centre of the Universe.

Just think if you are not in your life anymore and I mean really and physically, would anything

have a meaning to you. If you dont exist nobody else exists with respect to you.

You are the centre of your universe. Everyone else and everything else has meaning only when

you exist. So I guess youd better start to exist.

But how would you ever love yourself when you dont even know yourself. And whenever I really say this to any of my clients or even anyone I get to know the answer would be No, I really know myself, I am stubborn, I am a failure, I am slow, I am irrational, I am nervous, I am unattractive, I am fat , I am nobody, I am .., I am.. , I am ..

How would a person ever think of loving or accept themselves when thats what they say about themselves??? Thats what I dont understand. And the funny thing is that this is nothing related to self-knowledge, self-awareness, or self-understanding. This is called Self Labelling or Self Judgment and a MERCILESS judgement too.

It reflects an empty tank of Self-Love and even reveals self disapproval.




My next question would be Who told you so?? and the answer would be My EX-spouse My EX-love, My parent... But it doesnt matter who said so. What matters is why did you believe them?? And this would be my next question; Why do you choose to believe them?And of course a strange look and a low energy voice would say; If they said so, it must be true or They are right, I am actually this and that...

Well let me tell you, there is nothing true except what you believe is TRUE. Thats the only reason why people dont seem to agree on nearly anything. Because each one has their own truth; what they decided to believe. Yes we make these decisions each second; we choose to believe a

friend, a parent, a lover or even an EX- whatever. We choose to believe a teacher, a preacher, a

sibling, a child or a government or a president or some spokesperson. Furthermore we choose

to believe what the advertisements sell us what Media shows are conveying of messages and

biases whether outspoken or left unsaid. We choose to believe experts in health, food, politics,

religions, or finances, convincing ourselves They know better.

And about ourselves, it comes from our inner circle; people who are close to us and people who

we trust to be honest and truthful. People who we choose to believe love us. We dont know that all what they say is just their point of view and their point of view is masked with their needs,

wants, desires, situational, emotional and mental state. It also reflects whether they lived in

loving environments or not. And finally and most important it can only reflect their lack of Self-

Love.

Enough with this now, lets start the practical steps.

Set the intention

The reason Why??

My Contract

The Kick-Off

My Insights




Set the intention For every action or step you are embarking on there is a hidden intention inside you. You can be

looking forward to fulfil a need or you may want to experience this adventure with a certain

attitude. So you either have the intention inside you or you can just make an intention before

starting any step.

On your journey to befriend yourself what is your intention??

Few ideas you can consider:

1- How would you like to feel through the process of befriending yourself? (Examples: ease,

excitement,)

. . . .

2- What would you like to achieve by the end of this process?

. . . .

3- How would you like to behave through the process? (Examples: be open-minded to

exploration, be receptive, be accepting for whatever output I get,)

. . . .

So my intention for befriending myself is:

. . . .




The reason Why?? Why do you want to befriend yourself?

... ... ... ... How do you feel about yourself right now?

... ... ... ... The reason (s) for your feeling about yourself is

... ... ... ... What do you expect to happen if you can really befriend yourself?

... ... ... ... How would your life change if you befriend yourself?

... ... ... ... How would your relationships change if you befriend yourself?

... ... ... ...




My Contract

I (your name) .. Hereby promise to start the journey to befriend myself.

I know I deserve a peaceful and loving relationship with myself thats why I commit to spend 30 minutes a day with myself for the coming 21 days to get to know myself.

I know I can make this time and I am determined to do it.

With Love I hereby sign my contract

My Signature Date

.. ..




Day 2




My Blocks to Befriend Myself: Negative Feelings

In my past life

I felt angry at myself when

I felt frustrated with myself when

I felt disappointed with myself when

I felt ashamed of myself when

Now

I am angry at myself when

I am frustrated with myself when

I am disappointed with myself when




I am ashamed of myself when

My Failures & Setbacks

I always fail to

I made these mistakes when

I repeated these mistakes when

I failed to achieve

I never tried to




Trials & Errors

I tried to . And failed to... I tried to . And failed to... I tried to . And failed to... I tried to . And failed to... I tried to . And failed to...




Day 3




Self-Forgiveness

I cant forgive myself for I have never forgiven myself for

I will never forgive myself for

I hope I can forgive myself for

I can forgive myself only when

I can forgive myself because

I want to forgive myself for




SO Now I feel ., ., , ., ., ., ., ., ., towards myself.

I wish I can feel ., , ., , ., , ., ., towards myself by I cant and dont know how.




My make over plan I really want to change these aspects about myself:

In my body

In my lifestyle

In my work

In my financial situation

In my life perspective




In my relationships




Day 4




The Kickoff The journey for Self-love starts with real self knowledge and thats what I am inviting you to do. Ill walk you through steps of Self-Knowledge in a little bit different way than the ways you got to know yourself in the past. It is preferable if you go through these exercises alone or with your

relationship coach.

If for any reason you feel you dont have an answer to an exercise, just allow yourself to read the exercise thoroughly then leave it. You will be amazed to find that your mind will work the

answers and they will come to you again so easily.

I hope you enjoy every step along your path of making a peace and love contract with yourself.

Ending your inner conflicts can allow you to achieve wonders in your life, career and

relationships.

Good luck.

5 Stages for Self-Love

(Knowledge Acceptance Acknowledgment Appreciation - Love) The 5 steps on the journey of self-love are as follows:

1. Know Yourself

2. Acknowledge Yourself

3. Accept Yourself

4. Appreciate Yourself

5. Love Yourself

Then comes change if you wish to change something about yourself, your thoughts, feelings,

behaviours, beliefs or actions. The difference here is that change comes from a place of Self-

Love and Self-Respect not from disgust, shame and pain. In doing so change is easier, lighter

and more fun.

Where I am:

Rate yourself at the moment on the following dimensions from 0 10 where 0 means I think I have no idea about that and 10 means I fully do that.

Now lets dig deeper and enjoy our findings.

Know

Myself

Accept

Myself

Acknowledge

Myself

Appreciate

Myself

Love

Myself




Step1: Know Myself Please say this out loud to yourself (I know it seems silly,

just play with me)

Hey (Your name), Let me introduce you to a great friend .... (Your name)

Basic Self-Introduction:

My Name: My Age: My Favourite Picture (s) of myself

My Profession: . Height: cm Weight: kg Ibs Body Type: .

My Self-beliefs

I look I give the impression that When people first meet me they . When I meet new people I

In my point of view I am My character is . I am good at I am excellent at . I need development in . I am tolerant to . .




I enjoy doing . . . My talents are . . . My skills are . . My values are . . . . My gifts are .. .. .. My hobbies are My biggest assets are .

How People See me:

My friends say that I am . . My colleagues say I am My parents say I am




My managers say I am . .. .. My children say I am . .. .. My Siblings say I am .. ... I am known to .

I know about myself that:

1. Performance I perform better at work when:

I perform better at home when:

I perform better at . when: I perform better at . when:

1. Motivation & Achievement I focus more at work when

I achieve more at work when

I motivate myself at work by




I focus more at home when

I achieve more at home when

I motivate myself at home by

I focus more at . when I achieve more at . when I motivate myself at . by

2. Love and Love Expression: I love my partner more when

I love my work more when

I can express my love more when

I express my love by

I love my . more when




Day 5




3. Fun and Laughter I laugh when I do...

I laugh when I am with . I laugh at . I enjoy laughing when By myself I enjoy doing

With my friends I enjoy doing

With my family I enjoy doing

With my partner I enjoy doing

With my pet I enjoy doing

With my kids I enjoy doing

With Strangers I enjoy




4. Relaxation and Peace I am peaceful when

I bring myself into feeling peaceful and calm by I relax when...

I relax by .. I love myself when

I love to read about , I am happy when

5. Places I love: I dream to visit

I wish to spend time alone at

I enjoy hanging out with friends at




6. Meanings Rest for me means

Fun for me means

Happiness for me means

Success for me means

Achievement for me means

Fulfilment for me means

Dreams for me mean




Forgiveness for me means

Friendship for me means

Love for me means




Day 6




Step2: Self Acceptance: I accept myself for being:

I accept myself for not doing:

I accept myself for repeating the same mistakes when:

I accept my ignorance about:

I accept my spontaneity when:

I accept my over reaction when:

I accept being mad at:




I accept getting angry when

I accept not having

I accept being incapable of

I accept not achieving

I accept being late on

I accept still wanting to

I accept fearing from




I accept worrying about

I accept misunderstanding

I accept my failure to




Day 7




Step3: Self Acknowledgements I acknowledge myself for the following Major Achievements:

I did:

1- . 2- . 3- . 4- ...................................................................................................................................... 5- .

I succeeded in

1- . 2- . 3- . 4- ...................................................................................................................................... 5- .

I managed to

1- . 2- . 3- . 4- ...................................................................................................................................... 5- .

I achieved

1- . 2- . 3- . 4- ...................................................................................................................................... 5- .

I studied

1- . 2- . 3- . 4- ...................................................................................................................................... 5- .

I scored

1- . 2- . 3- .




4- ................................................................................................................................... 5- .

I overcame these challenges:

1- . 2- . 3- . 4- ................................................................................................................................... 5- .




Significant Milestone in my life

Milestone Date Effect

.

..

...

..

... .

..

... .

..

..

...

..

..

...

You finished 30% of your path..Go On.




Day 8




Step 4: I appreciate about myself that: My gender

. .

Because

.. .

My body

. .

Because

My education

. .

Because

My work

. .

Because

My career

. .

Because

My looks

. .

Because




. My talents

. .

Because

My achievements

. .

Because

. .

My family

. .

Because

. .

My wisdom when

. .

Because

My ideas about

. .

Because

My creativity in

. .

Because

.




My productivity

. .

Because

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

My uniqueness in

. .

Because




Day 9




My Self-worth

I feel worthy of love when

. . . . I feel worthy of appreciation when

. . . . I feel worthy of respect when

. . . . I feel worthy of acceptance when

. . . .




I DESERVE:

I deserve love because

. . . . I deserve respect because

. . . . I deserve admiration because

. . . . I deserve acceptance because

. . . . I deserve happiness because

. . . .




Day 10




My Self-Respect

Respect for me is:

. . . . Self-Respect for me is:

. . . . I respect myself because

. . . . The one thing I most respect about myself is

. . . . I respect my decisions around

. . . . I respect my beliefs around

. . . . Other things I respect about myself are

. . . .




My Self-Trust

I trust myself with money

. . . . I trust myself with decisions around

. . . . I trust myself with my taste in

. . . . I trust myself with work decisions

. . . . I trust myself with new adventures

. . . . I trust myself with my feelings around

. . . . I trust myself with my intuition around

. . . .




Day 11




My IDEAL Life

An Ideal life for me is when I work at ...., earn ., work ..hrs, ..days, .. (far/near) from my home.

An Ideal work for me is when I do

And when I influence (people / work flow / community / other) by

And when I add value to . By .. My ideal home looks on the outside and is in area and has .. bedrooms and has .. .. .. ..

My Ideal Life is when I live at .., and when I live with .. When I have

When I can

When on weekends I




When annually I

When moreover I




My Requirements, Needs and Wants

Doing this exercise, I realised I have the following requirements, needs and wants:

Life

Area

My requirements

Cant do without My needs

Can be met in different ways

My wants

Extra, but will not

affect the quality Functional Emotional

In a Job . . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

In a

Career

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

In a

Home

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

In a Car . . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .




Life

Area

My requirements

Cant do without My needs

Can be met in different ways

My wants

Extra, but will not

affect the quality Functional Emotional

In a Life

Partner

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

In a Life

Style

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

In my

Leisure

Time

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .

. . . .




Day 12




Step 5: I Love Myself 5 things Exercise:

5 things I really value about myself are:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

5 things I really respect about myself that:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

5 things I admire about myself are:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

5 things I like about myself are:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. ..




Final Exercise:

To myself:

Before doing these exercises my feelings towards you were ., ,., .. After doing these exercises I realised that I honour and respect you for

.,, .,, .,, .,. I also realise I have hurt you in ways when I .,, .,, .,

But these were the only ways I knew how at the moment. I realise you have supported

me a lot and achieved with me a lot. I have learnt many positive things about you that I took for granted.

I really admire and love you for who you are and promise to take care of you along

the rest of our joint life path.

From now on you are really and sincerely my Best Friend.

Thank you for being there for me and with me.

Sincerely your Best Friend from Now on

.. (Your Signature)

Date:

Good Job.. You finished 60% of your path..One Week to Go




Day 13




My Celebration Day:

Use this day to celebrate your achievement with yourself only.

Treat yourself as your most precious beloved person on earth.

How would you spoil yourself today?

Write down hereunder where and how and for how long you will

celebrate yourself for your achievement. Use extra sheets if

needed.

Few Suggestions:

An outing .. Walking .. Running . Biking .. Shopping .. Dinning out Other (Please specify)

Gifting yourself

Something you wished to have but postponed for some reason. Now you are prioritizing yourself.

Examples can be something related to: My hobby .. My dream to A course .. An outfit .. Other (Please specify)

Indoor celebration

If you decide to stay home and celebrate with yourself indoors make it real special, arrange

where you will spending the time, dress up, put some music, candle lights, a movie, a special

dinner or meal or treat with your favorite drink. Spoil yourself and remember you are

celebrating with yourself and for yourself.

Words of affirmation

Look in the mirror. Smile at yourself. Tell yourself:

I am proud of you

I am celebrating with you

I cheer you for your achievement




Day 14 - 21




My Maintenance Routine Daily before sleep:

1. State 5 things you are proud of yourself for on this day

2. Put your arms around you

3. Pat yourself on the shoulder

4. Say out loud

(Your name) .. I am proud of you (Your name) .. I love you (Your name) .. I respect you (Your name) .. I appreciate you (Your name) .. I am grateful to you

5. Keep tapping your shoulder or thigh or wherever feels comfortable for you while

repeating these phrases from your heart honestly and sincerely daily for 7 nights.

The way people treat you and deal with you is only a mirror of how you treat and deal with

yourself. Start giving yourself the love, respect, care and gratitude that you deserve and stop

waiting for them from the outside world.

Thank you for using this tool.




My Insights after 21 days I have finished the journey of befriending myself and I have these insights:




About Yasmin Abouelhassan Life & Relationship Coach, Founder & President of Happy Family Institute

Yasmin is a professional life and relationship Coach, awareness speaker and an

author. Yasmin devoted her all her time and effort to break the viscious circle of

failed relationships in the Egyptian society through coaching programs, courses,

events and workshops.

To Know more about Yasmin Abouelhassan Check her website www.happyfamilyinstitute.org

Yasmin is an author who shared in writing Top Coaches Share series

Volume1, Volume2, Volume3

Also Yasmin wrote some books and manuals in Arabic and English, Check them here

You can also join Yasmin Abouelhasssan groups on Facebook; Life Coaching in Egypt & Relationship Coaching In Egypt &

Happy Family Institute

Or Watch her on youtube

or watch all episodes on her website www.happyfamilyinstitute.org




Professional Background

I graduated from Cairo University, Faculty of Engineering, Biomedical Engineering Department in 1993. I finished my diploma in Executive Management in 2004 from The American University in Cairo. I studied Coaching at The Coaching Institute and graduated in 2005. In 2007 I started my adorable learning journey of Relationship Coaching for Singles and Couples at RCI; Relationship Coaching Institute. In 2011 Summer I volunteered in my dream place in USA; The Option

Institute, a dream that has been postponed for 6 years and WOW it was a marvelous learning Opportunity. And I commit myself to continue my learning journey till I leave Earth. My professional Career started as sales of Medical equipment and supplies since Sept.1993, and I was quickly placed in management positions. I grew in a well known National company of its time where I learned lots of things that were crucial to my job as well as to my life. Since 2005 Ive been coaching individuals and organizations towards their specific goals and challenges, as well as coaching singles and couples towards their dream goals. Trainings & Certifications Bachelor Degree in Biomedical Engineering from Cairo University Executive Management Diploma from American University in Cairo (AUC) Comprehensive Coaching Certification from The Coaching Institute Relationship Coaching for Singles from RCI Relationship Coaching for Couples from RCI Money Habitudes Coaching from RCI Train the Trainer from Quest Attitudes Training from IMI with Rita Maselli Fake Work-Training with Rita Maselli Reiki Level1 EFT Basics from Taller Than a Palm Tree Happiness is a Choice from Option Institute Power Dialogues from Option Institute Leadership for Women from AUC 28 Day Challenge with Marylin Alauria Holiday Biz Boost with Natalie Hill




10 Reasons are my answer to the question WHY I transitioned to Coaching?

Personally: 1. For myself; After going through the pains of divorce I wanted a career that as I pursue I develop,

grow, learn how to choose my life partner again and how to live happily whether single or married. 2. For My son; I wanted a career that allows me to learn and develop so as to raise my son as a healthy

real man, future husband and father and deal with whatever challenges that faces him healthily.

Purposefully: 3. I wanted a career that helps people with their personal lives. An area that is left unattended and its

deterioration leads to misery, crime and downfall of countries. 4. I wanted to provide a service that:

a. Enriches peoples lives and allow them to celebrate who they are and what they have and enjoy their lives.

b. Will affect not only the person I serve, but all people who get in contact with them. c. Can make the world a great place to live in by allowing people to live in peace, harmony, love

and happiness. d. Is really crucial and if provided will enhance peoples other aspects of life.

5. I wanted to have an influence in decreasing the divorce rate, rescuing children from ignorant parenting, and regaining the healthy social networks.

6. I wanted to raise personal awareness, responsibility and ability to Choose happiness. 7. In the Egyptian Organizations World, I wanted a career that address employees personal challenges and treat them

as humans by helping and allowing them to understand that work and family are equally important and go side by side.

Professionally 8. A Future Vision; I wanted a career that never gets obsolete. I wanted to provide a service that people

will always need. 9. I wanted a Career that provides a continuous learning and friendship with worldwide colleagues with

similar mentalities and aspirations. 10. I wanted a career that allows me flexibility in time, variety of tasks, room for creativity and unlimited

growth. I chose and still choose Life and Relationship Coaching

Honored to provide the services of life & relationship Coaching.

Yasmin Abouelhassan Life & Relationship Coach

President & Founder Happy Family Institute

For more information or any inquiry please visit my website www.happyfamilyinstitute.org




Happy Family Institute presents

Awareness Series

Befriend Yourself

Yasmin Abouelhassan

Life & Relationship Coach Founder & President of Happy Family Institute

Yasmin is a professional life and relationship Coach, awareness speaker and an author.

Yasmin devoted her all her time and effort to break the vicious circle of failed relationships in

our society through coaching programs, courses, events and workshops.

Happy Family Institute is the first Egyptian organization for Life & Relationship

coaching provides coaching services to individuals and organizations since 2005.

Awareness series is a series of simple and easy booklets to raise the personal

awareness for individuals.

A workbook to help you have a healthy, peaceful and loving relationship with

yourself based on true Self-Knowledge in 21 Days. You can use it on your own or

with your relationship Coach.

Documents

Befriend Yourself