BECOMING PARENTS

BECOMING PARENTS

Unit 4 – Chapter 10

When Couples Become Parents

• The couple relationship changes after the birth of a child as the new baby makes demands on the time and emotional energy of their parents

• Stress results from interactions between individuals and their environment that they perceive as straining or exceeding their ability to adapt and threatening their well being


• One of the contributing factors to stress is role overload, which occurs when individuals try to carry out multiple roles

• Both men and women who are new parents experience some level of role overload


• Many couples experience some decrease in marital satisfaction after the birth of a child

• One of the causes of change in the couple relationship is the lack of couple time

• Along with lack of personal time, time with extended family, time with friends and time commitments at work

Planned vs. Unplanned Pregnancy

• Couples who planned their pregnancies experience less significant decline in marital satisfaction than those who experienced unplanned parenthood

• Men experience less stress during the transition when the pregnancy was planned

• An individual’s ability to control role overload also reduces the level of stress

Planned vs. Unplanned Pregnancy

• Unplanned pregnancy is more common in cohabiting relationships

• When cohabiting couples become parents, there tends to be more stress during pregnancy than after the child is born

• 66% of pregnancies are planned

Major Changes to Couple Relationships

• Many couples revert to more traditional gender roles after the birth of a child

• Decline in family income• Reduced frequency and quality of couple time• Less time for couple communication• Sexual intercourse is less frequent• Leaving the workforce for an extended period


• Lack of anticipatory socialization can mean new parents will not feel as competent in their new roles as parents as they do in their workplace roles

• Anticipatory socialization is when an individual learns and practices a new role before actually adopting it


• Relationships of cohabiting couples tend to be more equitable than married couples, the birth of a child does not cause the same kind of role overload for a cohabiting couple as for a married couple

• The best predictor of marital satisfaction during the transition to parenthood is marital satisfaction before parenthood

Parent-Child Relationships• The relationship between parents and their

children is one of the most significant relationships in life

• According to Erik Erikson, for most individuals, the transition to adulthood is complete when the individual takes on a significant caring relationship with a child

• Understanding this relationship is an important aspect of understanding the development of identity in adulthood

• Recall...

Erik Erikson’s 8 Psychosocial Stages of Development

Stage 7Ages: Middle Adulthood (40 – 65 years)Basic Conflict: Generativity vs. StagnationImportant Event: Work and ParenthoodOutcome: Adults need to create or nurture things

that will outlast them, often by having children or creating a positive change that benefits other people. Success leads to feelings of usefulness and accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world.

Parent-Child Relationships

• Erikson described generativity as being concerned with establishing and guiding the next generation

• It reflects an individual’s psychosocial need of needing to take care of someone

• Having children is the usual means of achieving the strength of generativity rather than becoming self-absorbed

• Generativity can be achieved by making an enduring contribution to society in other ways

Parent-Child Relationships

• Parent-child relationships meet the needs of the broader society

• Parent-child relationships are the core of 5 out of the 6 Family Functions

• Socialization• Control Behaviour• Reproduction• Affective Nurturance• Provide Care

Attachment

• Attachment is an enduring emotional bond between an infant and their caregiver

• According to Erikson, the infant-caregiver relationship is essential to the development of trust within the infant

• If the relationship with the caregiver is a stable one, in which the needs of the infant are met, then the foundation for future positive relationships is laid

• Recall...

Erik Erikson’s 8 Psychosocial Stages of Development

Stage 1Ages: Infancy (birth – 18 months)Basic Conflict: Trust vs. MistrustImportant Event: FeedingOutcome:

Children develop a sense of trust when caregivers provide reliability, care, and affection. A lack of this will lead to mistrust.

Attachment• The quality of the bond between caregiver

and child is the foundation of personality growth and determines how well the child adjusts later in life

• Infants whose needs are not met develop mistrust and see the world as undependable, unpredictable and possibly dangerous

• Parents who are striving for generativity contribute to society by providing a secure attachment for their children and by helping them to be healthy well-adjusted adults

Attachment• Attachment research has tended to focus on

the mother-infant bond and has almost completely ignored the father-infant bond

• Studies have found that secure infants have fathers that were more extroverted and agreeable, had higher levels of self-esteem and had more positive marriages

• These fathers had positive work and family boundaries, with work demands that did not come before family commitments

Attachment

• Fathers who developed a commitment to their infants during pregnancy maintained it after birth and were more likely to be involved in infant care

• These fathers tended to be more caring, nurturing, child oriented and affectionate than non-involved fathers

Parenting Styles

• Diana Baumrind described 3 basic styles of parenting that were identified based on beliefs about the reciprocal attitudes of parent and child, the sharing of power and the desirable degree of conformity to social norms

Parenting Styles

1) Authoritative Parenting • Characterized by warmth and acceptance• Authoritative parents exert indirect positive

control of the children as they encourage them to control their own behaviour in accordance with norms

• Authoritative parents see children as capable of making choices to conform to a fair society

Parenting Styles

2) Authoritarian Parenting• Distinguished by a more formal interaction• Expectation of obedience to norms• More parental control• Use of punishment• Authoritarian parents believe that children

should obey authorities but are easily tempted to misbehave, so they need firm direction

Parenting Styles

3) Permissive Parenting• Typified by relaxed relationships between

parents and children• Few rules• Children have a larger share of power in the

family

Parenting Styles

• Children raised by authoritative parents are better adjusted psychologically and have a better self-concept

• Authoritarian parents use more physical punishment, which can create fear, children who experience this type of parenting may feel rejected by their parents

• Children raised by authoritarian parents tend to have difficulty making their own decisions

Parenting Styles• Children raised by permissive parents who

offer warmth and encouragement tend to be more irresponsible and impulsive

• While children raised by permissive parents who are hostile and rejecting tend to be flighty, anxious and emotionally deprived

• Permissive parenting does not teach children to become self-reliant and responsible for their actions

Teen Mom

• According to Baumrind, what type of parenting styles does

a) Amber follow?

Teen Mom


b) Gary follow?

Teen Mom


c) Catelynn’s mother, April, follow?

Teen Mom


d) Maci follow?

Teen Mom


e) Farrah follow?

Teen Mom


f) Farrah’s mother follow?

Teenaged Parents• There has been a steady decline in the

rate of teenage parenthood in Canada• The proportion of teens who become sexually active

at an early age is decreasing• Teens are reporting increasing use of condoms• The rate of abortions has surpassed the rate of live

births for those aged 15 to 17 • Most teenaged parents are one-parent,

female-headed families• Many parents of teenaged parents gave

birth in their teens as well• Teenaged parents have lower education and

significantly lower income than older parents

Socialization of Children

• Socializing children is one of the most important functions of the family and the key responsibility of parents

• Socialization is the process throughout life by which an individual learns the knowledge, skills, attitudes, culture, values and appropriate social role behaviours in order to participate in society

Socialization of Children• As societies became more complex and as

parents leave home to work, socialization is shared with other social institutionsEx. religion & education

• Parents socialize their children by influencing and shaping their behaviour and children socialize their parents in a similar manner

Socialization of Children

There are 2 preconditions for socialization:1) The child must have the physical capacity to

learn2) The child must live in a society that has

values, norms, statuses, roles, institutions and a variety of social structures

• If a child is missing any of these preconditions, then socialization is not possible

Gender Socialization

• Parents are the main agents of socialization for their children’s gender roles

• Babies are socialized from the moment they enter this world to be masculine or feminine

• Children view the tasks performed by their parents in the home and come to gender-based conclusions about who should perform which jobs

• Parents may encourage gender-role stereotypical behaviour without even knowing it

The Mother’s Role• Women are traditionally the primary caregivers

to children in all cultures, for many, parenting and mothering are the same

• However, as more and more North American women stay in the workforce after the birth of their children, they are no longer at home to be the sole caregiver

• The stay-at-home mom is now an anomaly• It is no longer assumed that the mother has to

take the primary role, rather, parents negotiate their roles

The Mother’s Role• The Mommy War takes place within a new

mother as she struggles to balance her desires and the pressures of society

• Some women who choose to stay home feel judged and devalued by women who return to work, while at the same time women who choose to work feel judged by women who stay home

The Father’s Role

• In the past, the father’s role were that of breadwinner and the head of the household

• Today, couples play more equal roles in the family, and both parents are heads of the household

• Parents now consider themselves co-parents and co-providers for their children

• Fathers and mothers interact differently with their children

The Father’s Role

• Fathers tend to be more physically engaged and less emotional with their children than mothers are

• Play with fathers involves more teamwork and games, stressing healthy competition, risk taking and independence

• This type of play is said to help children develop the ability to manage their emotions and to improve their intelligence and academic achievement

The Father’s Role

• Fathering is a social construct that changes with the times and the culture

• The new image is based on a father’s feelings, experiences and relationships with his children

• One of the problems facing men adjusting to the new father role was the lack of role models

• Men learn to be fathers by watching their fathers

Parental Roles in Lone-Parent Families

• The number of children living in lone-parent families is increasing, while the age at which they do so is decreasing

• Children born to common-law unions are 3 times more likely to experience the break-up of their parents’ relationship than children born to married couples

Parental Roles in Same-Sex Families

• Since their are no preconceived roles for same-sex parents, they can negotiate their roles together

• Being raised by same-sex couples has not been shown to increase the odds that the children will be homosexual

• Children of same-sex couples usually have role models of both sexes

Test OutlineMaterial Covered:1) Photocopied Text – Looking Back at

Expanding Families (Children in Our European Heritage...)

2) Chapter 9 Power Point (Having Children) *ONLY UP TO DELAYED PARENTHOOD

3) Chapter 9 Continued Power Point (The Decision to Parent)

4) Chapter 10 Power Point (Becoming Parents)

Test Outline

Format• 10 Multiple Choice• 5 Short Answer

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BECOMING PARENTS