Basic Counseling Skills

• 1.Attending Behavior• 2. Closed and Open-Ended Questions• 3. Paraphrase• 4. Summarizing • 5. Reflection• 6. Probing Questions• 7. Active Listening • 8. Group Counseling Skills

Active Listening

• More than just listening to words• Paying full attention to another • Verbal and nonverbal • Content, gestures, subtle changes in voice or expression• Sensing underlying messages

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Roadblocks to Active Listening

• Not really listening\distraction• Thinking about what to say next rather than listening

fully • Overly concerned about being “the counselor” looking

good• Judging or evaluation before you have heard the full story• Lack of empathy• Incongruence between words and behaviors ( body

posture, gestures, mannerisms, and voice inflection).

Attending Behavior

• Orienting oneself physically and psychological• Encourages the other person to talk• Lets the client know you’re listening• Conveys empathy

What Does Attending Behavior Look Like? SHOVLER

• S: Face the other Squarely• H: Head nods• O: Adopt an Open Posture• V: Verbal Following• E: Speech• L: Lean toward the other• E: Make Eye Contact• R: Be Relatively Relaxed

Open-Ended Questions

Questions that clients cannot easily answer

with “Yes,”, “No,” or one- or two-word responses

• “Tell me about your relationship with your mother”• “Why is honesty important to you?”• “How did you feel when your friend crashed your car

driving home drunk?”• “What did you do when she said you overreacted?”

Purposes of Open-Ended Questions:

• To begin an interview• To encourage client elaboration• To elicit specific examples• To motivate clients to communicate

Closed-Ended Questions

• Questions that the other can easily answer with a “Yes,” “No,” or one- or two-word responses

• “Did you decide to divorce your husband?”• “Did you drink before you went to class/work?”• “Do you drink a lot?”• “Do you feel sad?”• “Do you like your major/job?”

Purposes of Closed-Ended Questions:

• To obtain specific information• To identify parameters of a problem or issue• To narrow the topic of discussion• To interrupt an overly talkative client

Closed vs. Open-Ended QuestionExamples

O:“Tell me about your relationship with your mom”

C: “Do you get along with your mom?

O: “Why is honesty important to you?”

C: “Do you hate being lied to?

O: “How did you feel when your friend crashed your car driving home drunk?”

C: “ Are you angry at your friend?”

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Paraphrasing

• The counselor rephrases the content of the client’s message

Example:

• Client: “I know it doesn’t help my relationship when I stay out all night drinking and then come home and start yelling at everyone.”

• Counselor: “It sounds like you know “staying

out all night and yelling at everyone when you come home” is hurting your relationships.”

Purposes of Paraphrasing

• To convey that you are understanding him/her

• Help the client by simplifying, focusing and crystallizing what they said

• May encourage the client to elaborate

• Provide a check on the accuracy of your perceptions

When to use Paraphrasing

• When you have an hypothesis about what's going on with the client

• When the client is in a decision making conflict

• When the client has presented a lot of material and you feel confused

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Steps in Paraphrasing

• Client, a 22-year-old woman: “How can I tell my boyfriend that his drinking and pot smoking is getting bad and I want out of the relationship if he does not cut back”

Steps:

1) Recall the message and restate it to yourself covertly

2) Identify the content part of the message:

Client is concerned that boyfriend’s use of alcohol and marijuana is getting “bad” and is contemplating getting out of the relationship.

Paraphrasing

3) Select an appropriate beginning E.g., “It sounds like,” “You think,” “I hear you saying,”

4) Translate the key content into your own words

• E.g., “It sounds like you are concerned that your boyfriend’s use of alcohol and marijuana is getting problematic and if he is not willing to make changes you may end the relationship, is that right?”

5) Confirm the accuracy of the paraphrase

Summary

• A collection of two or more paraphrases or reflections that condenses the client’s messages or the session

• Covers more material

• Covers a longer period of client’s discussion

Purposes of a Summary

• To tie together multiple elements of client messages• To identify a common theme or pattern• To interrupt excessive rambling• To start a session• To end a session• To pace a session• To review progress• To serve as a transition when changing topics

Steps in a Summary

• Example- Client, a 13-year-old girl

At the beginning of the session:• “I don’t understand why my parents can’t live together

anymore. I’m not blaming anybody, but it just feels very confusing to me.” [Said in a low, soft voice with lowered, moist eyes]

Near the middle of the same session:• “I wish they could keep it together. I guess I feel like they

can’t because they fight about me so much. Maybe I’m the reason they don’t want to live together anymore.”

Steps in a Summary

1) Recall key content and affect messages• Key content: wants parents to stay together• Key affect: feels sad, upset, responsible

2) Identify patterns or themes• She is the one who is responsible for her parents’ breakup

3) Use an appropriate sentence stem and verbalize the summarization response

• e.g., “I sense,” or “You are feeling”

•How would you summarize this young girl’s statements?

Summary (cont’d)

Summarize• e.g., “Earlier today you indicated you didn’t feel like

blaming anyone for what’s happening to your parents. Now I’m sensing that you are feeling like you are responsible for their breakup.”

• Assess the effectiveness of your summarization

• A 27-year-old woman who has continually focused on her relationships with men and her needs for excitement and stability:

• First session: “I’ve been dating lots and lots of men for the last few years. Most of them have been married. That’s great because there are no demands on me.” [Bright eyes, facial animation, high-pitched voice]

• Fourth session: “It doesn’t feel so good anymore. It’s not so much fun. Now I guess I miss having some commitment and stability in my life.” [Soft voice, lowered eyes]

• How would you summarize this woman’s statements

Reflection

• A verbal response to client emotion

Example

• Client: “ I was so excited last year thinking that I was going to gradate in May. Now there are so many things going on. I have to find an internship site and decide if I need to move, where will I get the money, and who will hire me .…”

• Counselor: “Sounds like you were feeling really excited about graduation and now you are feeling anxious and overwhelmed by all the current and future decisions that you need to make.” Am I right?

Purposes of a Reflection

• Helps clients:• feel understood• express more feelings• manage feelings• discriminate among various feelings

Steps in a Reflection

1. Listen closely and observe behavior• Watch nonverbal behavior• Verbally reflect the feelings back to the client

2. Identify the feeling category

3. Identify the intensity

4. Match the feeling and intensity of a word

5. Feed back to the client

6. Add content using the form

“You feel ___ , because _____.”

7. Check for accuracy

Probing Questions

• Probing questions help direct the client’s attention inward to explore his/her situation in more depth

• Asked as Open –ended questions

• Strong element of direction from the counselor

Probing Questions

Purpose of Probing• Focus a client’s attention on a specific feeling or content area

• Elicits more information from the client to help understand their situation better

• May help the client to elaborate, clarify, on their situation/problems

• Can enhance a client’s understanding of their situation, or feelings

• The counselor can direct the client to areas that need more exploration or that appear unresolved

Probing Questions

For example:• “Your boss is concerned that your drinking and smoking

pot is interfering with your attendance and performance on the job. Tell me more about how you see your drinking and smoking pot effected your ability to do you job, and if you think it was related to your being put on probation.”

•Group Counseling Skills

Initiating

• Clients coming to counseling need direction and guidance to begin to feel comfortable participating and progressing.

• Leaders can initiate a specific topic to get or keep the group focused in a positive direction.

• Leaders can implement activities designed to increase participation or move the group to a different level.

Initiating

Initial Stage of Group:• Initiation by the group leader is very important during the

initial stage of group when group members are anxious, unsure of how to behave, and what is expected from them.

 

Transition and Working Stages • Initiating can help the group get unstuck.•  Working stage: more group member initiating

Final Stage • Initiating can help when clients begin to shut down and resist

termination.

Providing Feedback

• Clients gain self-awareness through feedback from the group leaders and group members.

• Leaders need to encourage members to give each other feedback

• It is critical that the group leaders model how to give and receive appropriate feedback.

Providing Feedback

Create an environment where feedback is shared respectfully • Give feedback with honesty and sensitivity

• Concise feedback given in a clear and straightforward way is useful

• In giving feedback, let others know how their behavior affects you, but avoid being judgmental

Providing Feedback

• Avoid giving global feedback address it personally

• Focus on here and now within the group

• Address a person’s strengths• Sandwich feedback: positive- corrective- positive

Providing Feedback

Initial stage:• Positive feedback

Transition and Working stages:• Balance of Positive and Corrective • Corrective feedback can help the group identify blocks that

impede progress during the transition stage

Working and Ending stages:• Corrective feedback is more credible, useful, and accepted

Providing Feedback

• Leaders need to teach member how to give Corrective feedback/confrontation

Inappropriate confrontation:• Tearing others down• A hit and run with negative feedback• Hostile feedback, aimed at hurting others • Telling another what is wrong with them • Assaulting another’s integrity

Providing Feedback

Appropriate confrontation:• Have a rationale for confronting a person• Confront if you care about the other• Talk more about yourself than the other

person• Share how the work has affected you rather

than labeling or being judgmental

Providing Feedback

• Focus on specific behaviors

• Change rarely happens if group members do not challenge one another

• Appropriate confrontation promotes trust and cohesion

Providing Feedback

• Sensitivity is a vital ingredient (golden rule)

• Give others space to reflect on what you say to them

• Confrontation provides an opportunity to consider an alternative perspective

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Empathizing

• Communicates understanding and promotes trust

• During the Initial stage clients are hesitant to give personal information.

Empathizing

A group leader can make the following statement:• “It can be difficult and a bit scary to share things

about yourself with people you don’t know every well….”

• This communicates and understanding of the feelings many members are having.

• This can also help develop empathy for other people.

Empathizing

• Trust and cohesion are vital to a successful group and empathy is a leadership skill that can greatly influence the overall climate and eventual progress of the group.

Linking

Linking helps group members connect with one another.

Leader link members together by:• Pointing out similarities among

members’ experiences, feelings, or concerns.

Linking

• During the initial stage: members can be links by sharing basic information on why they are there

For example:• “Ben, it sounds like you and Kelly are dealing

with pretty similar stuff…”

Linking promotes universality and cohesion

Linking

• Develops bonds between group members and a supportive environment.

• Linking is helpful for a group member that believes “No one else could possibly understand what I have been through....”

• “I had almost the same experience with my brother and he and I still don’t talk about it….”

Modeling

• May occur naturally because members want to emulate the person that has power in the group.

• Intentional modeling to help the group leader to establish norms.

Modeling

Leaders Role Model:• Commitment to the group• Arriving on time and prepared• Giving appropriate feedback• Showing respect for the group members• Avoiding making judgments• Demonstrating professionalism through the

coleadership relationship • A wide range of other behaviors  

Assessing

• Identifying symptoms and causes of behaviors.

• Choosing an appropriate intervention .

• Determining the need for referral. 

Interpreting

• Offering possible explanations for certain behaviors or symptoms. • Interpretations that are plausible and well-

timed can move a member out of an impasse.

 • Interpretations should be presented as a

hypothesis rather than as a fact.

Interpreting

• Give the group member/s the opportunity to take in and consider the interpretation.

 • It is essential not to interpret too

soon.

Interpreting

• Take into account the cultural context i.e. silence or eye contact.

• Not all behavior is resistance.

Interpreting

Interpretation can be given to an individual or the group as whole

 

In whole group interpretation the leader needs to take the stage of the group into account.

 

For example: • Addressing trust• Cohesion• Avoidance• Resistance• Appropriate or inappropriate confrontation or lack of

Blocking

• Use to protect group members.

• From other members or themselves

• Counselors have an ethical responsibility to take steps to protect clients from physical or psychological trauma resulting from interactions during group work

• Used to redirect unproductive behaviors

 

Blocking

For example:

• Members in the initial stage may not yet understand how to confront each other appropriately.

• If Peter confronts Sarah in an attacking manner the leader will verbally stop Peter by stating:

• “Peter I feel the need to cut you off, because while you are picking up on Sarah’s inconsistencies. I’m concerned that you are attacking and criticizing her more than helping her explore the situation. Sarah were you aware that you told us something different last week?”

Blocking

• During a psychoeducation group that focused on refusal skills Kelly starts to share about a loss experienced as a child. Determining that this is not the appropriate setting given the context of the group the leader would block Kelly by saying:

• Kelly, it sound like this has stirred up some strong feelings for you, we can focus on this later in counseling group, so let shift back to working on refusal skills…”• Be sure to follow up with Kelly at the end of

the group to determine her/his needs.

Blocking

• Problem Behaviors