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I arrived in China in August, 2008, with $43 and a maxed-out
Visa
card. I near! ost that at a securit! chec" #oint in os Angees.
%ood thing I needed
a &eer. I went into a &ar near m! gate with one other
#erson in it. A good-oo"ing
&onde, a&out m! son's age, named (cott. I had &een
tod another new teacher woud
&e on m! )ight, and as"ed him i) he was going to China* +e
was. e oo"ed at ourtic"ets "arma had #ut us in the same row on the
4-hour )ight to /eiing.
I ordered a &eer and reached in m! #oc"et I had e)t m! waet
at
securit!.
Shit.
I as"ed (cott to watch m! carr!-on &ag, and dashed &ac"
to the securit!
area. 1he! saw me coming. I s#ied m! &eat u# #oc"et-waet on
to# o) the x-ra!
machine, right next to m! one ounce trave /uddha, "e#t in m!
other #oc"et when I
)!. American 1(A securit! o))icers o)ten comment on it
&ecause it gides &! their
screens. I awa!s made sure it was in an u#right #osition going
through, the &rone in
its &od! setting o)) aarms that were scrutinied, and ignored
when the sha#e is
examined.
h, a itte /uddha.5
Isam )or&ids idoatr!, so whatever I am on a securit! eve, I
am not a
terrorist. 1errorists don't )! with /uddhas in their
#oc"ets.
I have since accidenta! e)t that itte /uddha at )riend's house
in
Amsterdam. I had #ut it on her +indu-st!e ater )or sa)e "ee#ing,
and )orgot it in the
rush to catch m! #ane. 6arma sa!s it was su##osed to sta! at her
house, that's wh! I
)orgot it there. (houd ever I need it, it wi )ind its wa!
&ac" to me.
Buddha statues come and go, like flowers in the spring. I can
only enjoythem for a very short while.
I am )orever osing and )inding them again. I've whitted m! i)e
down
to two suit cases, a ma"e-u# &ag, a com#uter and a )ew
/uddhas, and I can get m!se)
an!where, and I mean an!where. 1he! are m! #rotection, something
o) great vaue on
the road, trust me.
7aised in an Irish Cathoic &rood, I must ma"e a con)ession
here. I
con)ess I am not a ver! good /uddhist. In )act, I'm a rather /ad
/uddhist, &ut I tr!
which is a /uddhism as"s o) us. It is the most reasona&e5 o)
a the reigions I've
examined and #ractice in one )orm or another. /uddhism as"s us
to awa!s continue a
uest )or higher earning, and to #ass that earning on in some
)orm. It is interesting,
as writers, coective! we examine5 others' )aith, and write
a&out it, !et &eieve5 in
our own &ecause we "now it &etter, we've "nown ours
onger, and ongevit! #us
strings. hat !ou &eieve de#ends on the uestions !ou as"
!ourse). (ome &eie)
s!stems are &etter at answering uestions than others.
hie &oth m! #arents were Irish, m! mother was 9rotestant, m!
)ather
Cathoic. 1hat mix #roduces /uddhists or anarchists. I strive )or
the )ormer, &ut "ee#
the atter in reserve.
I &ought that itte trave /uddha at the /aita (i, the hite
9agoda
1em#e, m! )irst ast da! in /eiing, in cto&er o) 2004. :!
then new )riend,6atheen, had ta"en me as I coud not eave without
seeing it. :! )ew months there
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were a )urr! o) Chinese disorganiation, and I saw near! nothing
outside /eiing.
;ven in /eiing, I had on! &een to the (ummer 9aace, and the
ama 1em#e. I never
saw the %reat a on m! )irst tri#.
I read a&out the /aita (i, oo"ing at #hotos o) the strange
white stu#a and
"new I had to go there, even i) it meant ri##ing the #age out o)
the guide &oo" toshow the taxi driver. I coud not s#ea"
&e!ond three words in Chinese. 7i##ing the
#age out woud have wor"ed, &ut was not necessar!, as 6atheen
agreed to &e m!
guide. 1his is necessar! &ecause there are two white stu#as
in /eiing. I wanted the
/aita (i, not the other hite 9agoda 1em#e in /ai +ai 9ar".
I had aread! &een to the one in /ai +ai 9ar" the month
&e)ore with
students on a schoo outing. /ut that isn't the s#ecia one. /aita
(i is, )or man!
reasons. It &eing the odest standing &uiding in /eiing
is ust one. I have awa!s )et
drawn to the #ace, i"e )oowing a string I coud )ee &ut not
see.
vera, it had not &een a success)u tri#, and I was eaving
China the
next da! in tears, )eeing an a&soute #enniess )aiure. I had
$00 when I e)t China
then. I cried the entire wa! home with m! one and on! tissue,
sitting &etween two
un)ortunate &usinessmen who, at the end o) that ong ourne!,
one #atted m! hand and
said, 1here, there.5
(uare one, ste# one.
In the gi)t sho# I had seen the sma itte 0 rm& /uddhas, and
hed u#
)our )ingers, indicating I wanted to &u! )our. 1he woman
&ehind the counter thought
I was tr!ing to &argain. 6atheen, )uent in :andarin, aughed
and said, (he thin"s
!ou on! want to #a! 4 rm&.5 9utting 40 rm& on the
counter, the woman set )our
identica itte /uddhas in )ront o) me, and I immediate! gave 6at
one, sa!ing>8, having
studied at the /eiing anguage and Cuture =niversit! ?/C=@
com#eting a one-
!ear anguage course, )oowed &! a !ear at the /eiing
/roadcasting =niversit!. +er
degree is )rom /egium in (inoog! ?Chinese (tudies@. (he tod me
she earnedChinese &! )oregoing her Chinese cass in )avor o)
sitting next to an od woman, a
true /eiinger, who sod )owers outside the gate o) /C=. 1he od
woman taught
her as much a&out Chinese cuture as she did voca&uar!.
6atheen is )uent in utch,
Brench, ;ngish and :andarin. +er Chinese is o)ten commented on
as #er)ect5 &!
ocas es#ecia! taxi drivers who ove her ong, cur! hair, and tr!,
unsuccess)u!, to
)irt with her.
:! schoo gave a new teachers a oan when we arrive, as
Chinese
andords insist on rent #aid uarter!, #us a one month de#osit. I
remain grate)u )or
that sma courtes!. 1he! too" it out o) m! saar! in instaments
over )our months. I
had a &eauti)u, &ut sma, &rand new a#artment, and
6at came over with a wecome
&ox o) "itchen things and 2000 rm& in an enveo#e. (he
"new I was &ro"e and
woudn't &e #aid )or a&out )our wee"s. (he too" me to
China :o&ie where she
#ic"ed out a 300 rm& ?$0@ Do"ia ce #hone, #utting 0 rm&
in credit on
it. henever I ran into anguage #ro&ems, I coud ca 6at on the
#hone and hand
the #hone over to whoever I was tr!ing to communicate with, a
taxi driver, the
&an. (he then too" me across the street to the /an" o)
/eiing that has a machine
where !ou can oad mone! onto #re#aid gas and eectric cards. (he
#ut 0 rm& on m!
gas card so I had hot water.
I woud not &e a&e to re#a! her unti the )oowing )rigid
Be&ruar!,during Chinese Dew Eear, when #a!ing o)) de&ts is
a custom &e)ore entering the Dew
Eear, the! ear o) the x. I #ut 24 red 00 rm& notes into a
traditiona red enveo#e,
and too" it over to her warm a#artment on the 2>th)oor with a
doen red roses. (he
i"ed the roses &est.
ver numerous unches, dinners, grocer! sho#s and other outings, I
came
to "now how much m! )riend wanted to &e a mother &ut
a)ter tr!ing )or severa
!ears, and numerous medica interventions, her greatest desire
euded her. (he
vounteered )or man! !ears with :orning 1ears,5 a
/egium-&ased charit! that
&uids or#hanages in the south o) China )or chidren whose
#arents have &een
executed. 1hese chidren are outcasts, seen as unuc"!5 in Chinese
cuture. hat
can a )riend do* I, who had ust &ecome a grandmother, coud
on! isten with a
warm o#en heart.
An American )riend, Am!, emaied that she needed a hite 1ara5
statue.
1he %reen and hite 1aras are considered the mothers o) a
/uddhas,5 and were
consorts o) Chenresing5 the great /uddha o) com#assion, &orn
)rom his tears over
the su))ering o) humans. ;ven toda!, the! are revered in China,
1i&et, De#a and
:ongoia. 1he hite 1ara stands )or #eace and com#assion, and the
%reen 1ara
stands )or action and ethica iving. Eou can te them a#art
&ecause the hite 1ara
has her egs crossed, and the %reen 1ara has one )oot
out-stretched on a otus )ower,read! )or action.
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hite 1ara
Am! had &ecome disa&ed )rom a series o) medica
#ro&ems, and coud
no onger teach I ha##i! set out to )ind her one. ) course 6at
had to come with me,
we ove going to the ama 1em#e, and went one warm (unda! in
cto&er. e were
in and out o) severa souvenir sho#s around the tem#e &e)ore
we )ound one who
"new the di))erence &etween a hite 1ara and a the others in
the #antheon o)
&odhisattvas ?saints@. Birst o) a, the %reen and hite 1aras
are )emae &odhisattvas,
so the statute must have &reasts, and I roed m! e!es at more
than one sho# "ee#er
tr!ing to se me a &o! /uddha. I aso &ought three sets o)
1i&etan #ra!er )ags. Am!
was aso oo"ing at )orecosure on her house, and I thought the
)ags might he#, too.
6at negotiated the #rice, and I got &oth hite and %reen
1aras )or 200
rm& ?$30@. 1his was in m! )irst )ew months, and I was sti
#rett! &ro"e. hen I
too" the hite 1ara to the #ost o))ice I )ound out it was going
to cost me 30 rm&
?$0@ to air mai it ?it weighed a&out 8 ounces@, and it was
too sma to &e shi##ed
sur)ace. I was warned it woud get ost in a hoe in the shi#.5 I
coudn't a))ord $0,
or consigning it to a )ate in the &ottom o) a Chinese cargo
shi#, so I sent the #ra!er
)ags with a #romise to deiver the hite 1ara on m! next tri#
home. /ecause I coudnot mai it, and woud not &e going home )or
severa months, the hite and %reen
