Awkward Ship Date 1--Lin (Nin/Leo)

Ah, blind dates. The best possible way for boys like Leo Spence to get girlfriends. Heather had set him up with someone at a café that morning, and he now simply waited for whateverlady she had chosen to show up. Admittedly, he was quite excited. Maybe it would be brunette beauty Andy White (even though she'd made it quite clear she really wasn't interested in Leo). Maybe it'd be blue-haired bodacious babe Lust (even though she was downright scary). Then again, maybe it'd be spunky candy-lover Tzigana Frid (who was both a bit too childish and already dating someone). Thankfully for Leo, Tzigana happened to be too busy spying on his date with a quickly-assembled team of top-secret ultimate super-spies to actually be on a date herself. Among her team of super-spies was tomboy flirt Makoto Kobayashi, Ice Queen Aoi Kurotama, crazyShadow boy Taki, and Leo's optimistic sister, Heather Spence. Jay McCarthy was supposed to be there too, but he backed out at the last second claiming his sister was having a crisis (which was how they ended up with Aoi in the first place). "Alright!" Tzigana hissed. "Roll call! Pickled Ham!" "Right here!" Makoto barked. "Costume?" Tzigana prompted. "Superhero costume over a squid suit," Makoto answered immediately. "Also these cool shades." "Distraction noise?" "Siren noises!" "Distraction action?" "I throw food~." "Perfect!" Tzigana cheered. "Up next is...Hotdog Master!" "Oh! That's me!" Taki gasped. "Costume? Noise? Action?" "Hotdog suit, mooing cow, dancing like a bad*ss~." "Brilliant. Freaking brilliant. Um...Ao, you didn't give me a codename." Aoi shrugged. "I don't have one." "It's OK," Makoto began, "you can be Jugular Mustache." "...yeah, OK." "Great! Costume, noise, action. Go!" Tzigana ordered. "I didn't wear a costume, I don't make any noises, and my action is nothing." "She's a genius," Taki hissed to Heather, who offered an awkward smile. "You're boring," Tzigana whined. "OK! Firetruck!" "Me?" Heather guessed. "...my codename was Purple Duck." "Oho, yeah. Alright, you know the drill!" "Um...I'm wearing a nun hat, a psychedelic tie-dye hat on top, a daisy shirt, and a pair of bell-bottoms~. I make fish noises and roll around on the floor." "You're amazing. My turn!" Tzigana jumped up. "Orangutangular Mercedes. I wear a trench coat, a tree hat, a fedora, a clown wig, clown shoes, a gold necklace with my name on it, gag glasses, those glasses with the eyes on them, giant hoop earrings, a petticoat, and three tons of lipstick. My noise is a whale. My action is ninja moves~." Everyone clapped (except Aoi, who really did not want to be there, and had resolved herself to do absolutely nothing). Tzigana bowed. "Now! Who..." Tzigana trailed off. Someone had just walked into the café and settled at a table near Leo. Tzigana suddenly felt evil and looked at Heather. "Hey, wanna play a prank on your brother?" "What? ...sure?"

"Great~!" Tzigana whipped a paper and pen out of her pocket, scribbled something on it, and crumpled it up. She chucked it at Leo's head. It hit.

~*~*~

Something hit Leo's head. Confused, he looked down at what it was and found a crumpled up piece of paper. He unfolded it. “Your date is here. Black hair, a table ahead. Enjoy~.” Finally! Leo took a deep breath and began to seek out his date. Sure enough, someone sat with their back turned to him just a table ahead. Long, luscious, gorgeous, shiny black hair...it had to be her. Taking another deep breath to psyche himself up, Leo rose to his feet, slicked his hair back, and made his way to his mystery date, trying to look as smooth as possible. When he reached her, Leo reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Excuse me, I think you're--" The girl turned. And Leo recognized her. And she wasn't a "she". "Nin?!" "Leo?" The raven-haired ninja slowly rose to his feet. "What are you doing here?" "I could ask you the same thing!" Leo spluttered out in disbelief. This has got to be a trick. Nin scratched the back of his neck with his hand. "I was supposed to be meeting someone here." Holy crap. "For...a date?" "I don't think so." Nin shrugged. "I don't know. Imouto didn't give me all the details. What about you?" Leo was quiet. Silently, he passed over the note. Nin read it over, glanced over at the table Leo had once sat at, looked back at the note, looked at Leo, and looked at the crowd of weirdly-dressed people sitting at a booth a few feet away. They waved. "...you...were supposed to go on a date..." Leo waited for him to finish. "...with me." "I really hope not. Are there any other girls here with black hair?" Nin looked offended. "'Other' girls...?" "That's not what I meant," Leo said quickly. "...yeah, I'll just...go back to my table." Nin gave an awkward laugh. "You know what, just sit down here. I've been wanting to talk to you about some things anyways. And I really want dessert. But I'm broke." "If you want me to buy you dessert, just say so..." Slowly, very uncomfortably, the two boys took their seats across from each other. Leo cleared his throat. Nin calmly folded up the piece of paper and put it aside. "Now then. The Seven have been planning..."

~*~*~

"Oh my gosh, it worked!" Tzigana squealed. Makoto and Taki burst out laughing. Heather smiled. Aoi just puffed some hair out of her face. "I am so confused. Quick, spy tools at the ready!" Makoto shouted, assembling a telescope in three seconds. Tzigana put on a monocle. Heather got out a pair of binoculars. Taki peeked through a kaleidoscope. Aoi sighed, pulled the straw out of her tea glass, shook it out, and peered through that. "Remember, guys," Tzigana yelled, "BE INCONSPICUOUS!"

~*~*~

"You know, I have to wonder." Nin put his tea down. "What?" "If this is just someone being a troll, where is my real date? I mean, is she off sitting in a corner staring at the ceiling? Bored? Do you think she's pretty?" "I don't know." "Because there has to be a girl. There's no way Heather did this on purpose. I mean, you're definitely not my type. She knows that!" Nin raised an eyebrow. "And by that, I mean...my type is girls. Which you clearly are not." "Obviously not clearly enough," Nin muttered. "I already said I was sorry, geez..."

~*~*~

"This is going really well," Tzigana hissed. "But Leo better keep off my man. I mean, if he wants to come out of the closet, that's just fine. But if he does it with my Nancy, I'm gonna open a can of Tizzy on him." "I don't think that'll happen," Heather said calmly. "I mean, I don't think Leo's gay. I mean...wait, what?" "What about what?!" Tzigana gasped. "They're swapping drinks!" Taki announced. "Wait, what?! Lemme see!"

~*~*~

"I told you already, I don't need any tea." "Too bad, I need coffee." "Nin, get your own..." "I have no money, remember?" "Don't just drink all my--you drank all my coffee!" "I gave you my tea, didn't I?" "I said I didn't want tea!" "Then buy me a coffee." "You already drank all mine, I'm getting another one for MYSELF."

~*~*~

"This is so weird, " Makoto hissed. "You do realize they're just having a casual, friendly conversation, right?" Aoi sighed. "It's a date," Tzigana insisted. "It's just a really weird date." "It's definitely not a date." "Shut up, we never even wanted you here." "I never even wanted to BE here."

~*~*~

"Do you think anyone is staring at us and wondering what the heck is going on?"

"Leo, you're being paranoid. Guys grab coffee together all the time." "No, GIRLS grab coffee together! GUYS climb mountains and fight bears!" "What? ...no one does that."

~*~*~

"Do you think they realize we're staring at them?" "No way, Tiz. We're way too professional." "Pickled Ham, that is so true."

~*~*~

"Hey, Nin?" Nin stopped sipping his tea. "Now what?" Leo pointed at the booth of weirdly-dressed morons. "Have you noticed those guys staring at us?" Nin looked at the morons. They waved. "...actually, yeah." "Oh crap, do you think we look gay?!" "I keep telling you you're paranoid, this is normal." "I'll never get a girlfriend if this gets out...!" "...Leo, go back to your own table."

~*~*~

Tzigana shrieked. "They're onto us! Distraction noises, sound off! Distraction actions are go!" She leapt out of her chair, made whale noises, and started karate-chopping the air. Makoto made siren noises and chucked a panini at Leo. Heather made fish sounds and barrel-rolled across the café. Taki made cow noises and danced around like a moron. Aoi did absolutely nothing, and continued to sip her tea.

~*~*~

Leo and Nin stared. "...the siren squid threw a panini at me." "Don't put it to waste, eat it." "OK~."

~*~*~

"Catastrophe avoided," Tzigana declared, sitting down. "We are so good," Makoto giggled. "So good!" Taki agreed. "That was fun," Heather said. "I'm surrounded by idiots," Aoi muttered, avoiding looking at anyone.

~*~*~

The sixth piece of cake was finished, the eight coffee had been ordered, and Nin had single-handedlyfinished eighteen cups of tea. The check was delivered. Leo looked at it.

"...you had seventeen refills?!" "Oh," was all Nin said. "Well, guess I'm off, then. Nice eating with you." "Shh! If you say stuff like that, people will get the wrong idea!" "...I'm never going anywhere with you ever again." "W-wait, that's not what I meant..." It was too late. Nin had already wandered out of the café, leaving Leo alone. He sighed, looking backdown at the check. "...I can't believe he cost me eight dollars in refills."

~*~*~

"That was the most awkward thing I've ever seen," Tzigana announced. "It was awesome," Makoto declared. "Good work, my dear spies!" Tzigana cheered. "Let's head out~." On the way home, everyone got hit by a bus and died. The end.

Awkward Ship Date 2--Braiden (Braeden/Kaiden)

Girls were definitely the greatest thing on the planet, Braeden Carmichael decided. They came in all shapes, colors, and sizes. He personally liked the curvy ones best, but he wasn't very picky. If it was a girl, he would date her. And then some. A LOT of "some". So obviously, when he spotted a lone girl sitting in a far corner of the restaurant, he decided he absolutely must go over there and woo her. Grinning, Braeden made his way over to the black-haired girl, watching her toss those thick locks over her shoulder. Braeden caught a glimpse of her face before she gasped and quickly buried her face in the menu. The shy type. Nice. Braeden placed his hands on the back of the girl's chair, trying to peer at her face. "Hey, honey. Dining alone~?" The girl giggled. "Not for long, I'd guess..." Did her voice sound...oddly familiar? Soft, feminine, polite, gentle. The epitome of girlishness. Braeden beamed. "You'd guess right. You got a man at home?" She shook her head. "Then I just got one more question 'fore I can take this seat, babe." She giggled again. "And that is...?" Braeden leaned down to eye level (or, he thought it was eye level. She still hadn't come out of her menu.) "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven~?" The menu suddenly slammed down. A joyous face turned to face Braeden. And the voice that answered him was male. "Actually, yes, quite a bit. Thank you for your concern~." Braeden shrieked loud enough to catch the attention of the entire restaurant and scrambled back five feet. "Kaiden Alexander Lucifer Keynan Reaper! What the h*ll?!" "When did you learn my full name, Braeden Ashton Asmodeus Carlisle Reaper-Carmichael?" "I thought you were a girl...!" Kaiden sighed dramatically. "You sure did. And now you most certainly owe me dinner. You can't getme THAT warmed up and not eat with me, it'd be a waste." "KAIDEN." Kaiden just grinned. "...I'm gonna kill you." Kaiden chuckled. "Hm, is that so?" "W-what if I'd tried to KISS you or somethin'?! Don't DO that to me!" Kaiden seemed thoughtful. "Hm, I suppose that would have been a problem..." "You SUPPOSE...?!" "Aoi would be upset if she found out." "THAT'S what you're worried about?!" "You're right. ...I'd make Rolf-kohai jealous too~." "...Kai, sometimes I doubt your heterosexuality." "Don't worry. I love breasts far too much to be gay~." "Aren't boobs the best...?!" "I knew we were related." Sighing, Braeden scratched his neck, feeling awkward. "Right. I'm gonna go find a REAL girl, 'kay?" "How rude," Kaiden sighed. "I thought I was going to get a dinner date, and now you're backing out. Can't you at least sit with me?"

"What? ...what's the catch?" Kaiden thought. "Alright. I'll make a bet with you." Braeden nodded slowly. "Sure." "You sit down and let me order anything I want. If you can't get another girl to go join up with by thetime I've finished eating, you pay for everything." "And if I do get a girl...?" "I'll join you tonight." Braeden started walking away. "I'm starting to doubt our blood relation, get back here." "There's a fine line between being a troll and being an idiot, bro." "One I bravely walk every time I open my mouth. If you get a girl, I'll pay instead. Is it a deal?" Braeden sighed. "Yeah, yeah, sure. Just don't be a weirdo." "I cannot promise you that." Rolling his eyes, Braeden regretfully took his seat at the table. Kaiden immediately waved over a waiter and ordered a plate full of steak. Braeden glared at him and settled for some kind of seafood. The fight was on. The first girl to walk past the table was Tzigana Frid. Braeden was so terrified of her he didn't even try. Kaiden thought it a wise decision. The next was Makoto Kobayashi. Braeden immediately jumped to his feet and shot Kaiden a wink. Kaiden calmly sipped his coffee. "Hey, babe." Makoto stopped and looked at Braeden. "Wait, me?" "Yeah, you, Princess~. Eating alone?" Makoto blushed. Braeden gave Kaiden a triumphant look. "W-well, I was gonna meet my boyfriend here..." "Oh yeah?" Braeden purred, stepping closer. "He's a lucky guy." Makoto pursed her lips. "You had your chance, jerk." "Aw, c'mon. Is it my fault I just realized how pretty you were?" She was hooked. It was obvious in the way her eyes suddenly glazed over. Kaiden sipped more coffee elegantly. "...th-that's sweet of you..." "Come on," Braeden murmured, leaning in to her ear. "Come sit with me. I'll make it worth your while~." "Oh, little brother," Kaiden suddenly sighed, "you shouldn't say such things to others. You promised to only pay attention to me tonight~..." Braeden shot Kaiden a "Shut up, idiot!" look. Kaiden ignored it. Makoto looked between them. "...on second thought, I'm just gonna...yeah." She walked away, quickly. "W-wait...! Come back!" Kaiden returned to calmly sipping his coffee. Braeden plopped at the table and ate his shrimp. "...I hate you."

~*~*~

The next girl to walk by was Andy White. Braeden licked his lips, cast a wink at Kaiden, and started towards her. Kaiden's serene expression never changed. "Hey, girl, wait up!" Apparently Andy was used to being called "girl", because she stopped and turned to face Braeden. She smiled. He grinned.

"Hi, um...have we met?" Andy asked. "Only in my dreams, angel." Braeden added a wink for good measure. Kaiden watched casually fromthe table. Andy raised an eyebrow. "You know that's incredibly cheesy, right?" Braeden wilted. "...and one of the sweetest things I think I've ever heard, strangely. I'm Andy." "Braeden. But you don't need to remember my name. You won't have time to get it out tonight~." Andy's face flushed. "Excuse me...?" "Oh, Brae~," Kaiden called. "I hope you're not talking about sleeping with her. You promised it was my turn~." Andy took a step back, her face looking very confused and a bit disgusted. Braeden shot Kaiden a glare that could rival Satan's. "No, no, you don't understand!" Braeden laughed, gesturing to Kaiden. "He's my brother!" Andy stared. Then, suddenly, she took off running. "YOU'RE MISUNDERSTANDING! COME BAAAAAACK~" Kaiden took another calm sip of coffee, hailed the waiter, and ordered the most expensive thing on the menu.

~*~*~

Braeden was starting to lose hope when he spotted a shining beacon of hope. Lust. If anyone would sit with him, it was her. Practically tripping in his excitement, Braeden charged for Lust and slid to a stop behind her. "Stop! In the name of love-making!" Lust froze and turned around. "...pretty sure those aren't the lyrics, but I like your thinking, sweetie~.Need a drink?" Oh gosh I love this woman. "Nah, that won't be necessary. Just you, me, and a table for two~." Lust smiled. "Just a table? Shame." "Oh, believe me, I'd take a body like that to bed ANY day of the week." "Who wouldn't?" Lust flashed a wink. Braeden threw a miniature celebration. The two went back to the table together. Kaiden was sitting with Makoto. Lust immediately walked away. "...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Kaiden hailed the waiter again and ordered Makoto the most expensive thing on the menu. She ate it in five seconds and returned to her old table. Braeden took her seat, puffing his long bangs out of his face. "...I freaking hate you." "Aw~. Now feed me shrimp." "Ew, no."

~*~*~

The pair ended up eating alone that day. Braeden eventually resorted to waiting for girls to walk by and just saying, "Please come eat with me." Kaiden always chose that exact moment to say the gayest and most inappropriate thing he could think of, then hail a waiter and order something expensive.

And the girls walked away. A girl came into the room, chatted briefly with someone, then waved at Kaiden. He waved back. Braeden watched. "Ain't that Blue-Eyes?" "Sure is. I'd recognize that figure anywhere." "D*mn, you know some fine girls. Alright, here, I have a deal." Kaiden nodded. "If I can get that girl to come sit with me, all on my own, without you sabatoging me--make me that promise!--then you lose. Automatically. Forever." Kaiden thought. "I have a better idea. Whichever of us can get her to kiss us willingly on the lips is the winner. Of the universe." "You're on." Together, the brothers stood and cornered poor Aoi Kurotama at the table. She gave them one look. "No." "We didn't even say anything!" "Do I look like I care?" Braeden cursed himself for picking this particular girl to wager everything on. "I was watching you from across the room." Aoi rolled her eyes. “Couldn't help but notice those eyes of yours. They're even prettier up close.” "Great, I'll add that to my list of compliments." "Aw, come on~." Braeden smirked, leaning down to her level. "Don't be like that, baby. There's gottabe somethin' you dig me for." "I 'dig' when you shut up and leave me alone." "...you are such a b*tch, you know that?" "Mm. That's better. I'm more used to that." Braeden officially gave up on being nice and jumped straight to sex, as he was comfortable with. "Let's face it, I wanna f*** you so hard." Aoi stared. "...I don't even know how to reject you, that was so bad." "Points for honesty?" "Points for going as far away from me as possible and staying there. Forever." "Oh, Aoi!" Kaiden swooped in. Braeden sighed, stepped back, and watched to see how badly Kaiden would fail. "...Braeden and I made a bet that whoever could get you to kiss him would win a free meal. And the universe. Would you mind~?" "To teach that b*stard a lesson? Kai, I would let you touch my boobs." "Can I...?!" "Ew, I was kidding. Pervert." Nonetheless, Aoi actually did stand up and plant a quick, completely voluntary kiss on Kaiden's lips. For a full three seconds. "Alright, go away." "Thank you, darling~!" Kaiden skipped back the the table. Braeden gave up on life and walked away to go kill himself. He was rescued and scolded by the waiters, who took him back to his table. As expected, in the end, he paid for their meals. "This was a nice, brotherly bonding experience~, Braeden." "I want to kill you." On the way home, everyone was trampled by a charging Okapi and died. The end.

Awkward Legit Ship Date—Rappaele (Rolf/Appaele)