Aurora Rising Leaving the Past to Soar

7/22/2019 Aurora Rising Leaving the Past to Soar

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Aurora RisingMy Journey of Rising above the storms of Yesterday

Updated version 6/13/2014

I. Introduction

II. Chapters:

1. Growing up in Paradise -Life in Hawaii -2. Paradise Lost -Living through abuse, Domestic violence3. A New land -Life in Ohio4. Working as a CNA

5. Missionary School

6 Other Spirituality -Wicca-Buddahism7. Purpose -Leadership -Reflection8. One of my Dreams-Why I want to be a FA - My time in Flight Attendant Training- Failure does not mean grounded for life

III. Conclusion


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I. Introduction

Is it my Time yet?I have journeyed so far.

Paid a high price.Shed the tears

Gave my all.

Is it my time yetTo be called

To be chosenMany are called, few are chosen

This saying is true

Is it my time yet

Oh is my dream just a fantasy?

There is a difference in dream, and fantasy

Seems like so much to overcomeTo stand out in the right way

Is it my time yet

I am crazy or insaneTo try again

So many TBNTs in 2013Yet I feel my heart drawn again

Try again

Is it my time yet?

Written 09/13/2013 By Aurora Dawn


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am Aurora 45 years of age as I write. I do not use my real name or full real name

often online. My first name is Dawn, and Aurora is a Roman name for Dawn orLatin. It is taken from an ancient Roman Goddess Aurora (Dawn). It basically

means light bringer, illumination ,break of dayI have finally decided to attempt to write a book. This one is about my journey of

coming through the storms of life, of abuse, rejection, seeking my dreams. Life isnot roses for anyone. Everyone, I have learned at my age of 45 , has their own

battles, and issues to deal with. I try not to judge, as some are just better at puttingon their masks and wearing them well. I have desired for years to write a book. I

am however not the best with grammar etc. Also, it takes a lot of time, and effort.People off and on have suggested to me, Why not write a book. The funny thing

is, in elementary school I wanted to write. I wanted to write spooky ghost stories.Why? I do not know. One thing about me, I have always been creative. Writing is

also therapeutic, as I enjoy writing poetry. My own kind, and what I mean by this

is, some would say it is not normal poetry. Hence I use term inspired writing muchof the time. I write from sunshine, to the descent, in the pit, and the rise again.

Lifes road for me has been like this; hills, valleys, tunnels, and the like. There is

seasons of sunshine, seasons of cold, and ice. Sometimes just like winter, oneseason seems to last a lifetime.

I am no one special. I am just a woman, no children, who has at times felt so lost in

this world. Yes, even as an adult wondering where do I fit. I am not a star, nor a

famous author. I am a woman seeking to fulfill her dreams despite the obstacles.For years I have tried to fit in here or there, so instead of trying to fit in, I have

decided it is time to create my own space, thus my own place. If I can inspire, andhelp others along my way even better. I am single, no children, no hubby. I know,

this is odd in todays culture, and where I reside. Most people think somethingmust be wrong with you if at 45 youre not married with children. Well, some of us

have decided to be single, and or no children, or both. Not every woman should be

a mom. I see this on HLN, and in the news so many times of parents killing babies,and children. Yet, so many are waiting to adopt, and it is because for whateverreason are unable to have their own. I am just a regular person, woman, human

being hoping her journey will touch, and inspire some of you reading.


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This I had written this year in January, 2014

If you could see

Into my heart with eyes of lightNot tainted by predujuicesYou would see a heart

Full of love

Full of lfeYet is with scars

If you could see

You would not be quick to judge meI am not like a lot of people

Perfect, always excellentI do make mistakes

If you could seeI may not be what many would want

I do have a placeFor those who take time to see

I am no beauty queen

I do have a beautiful heart

I may not communicateas someone with a bachelor degree

I do communicate in truthIf you could see

You would give me a chanceAs you took time to know me

You will find

I am not that badIf you could see

I am just me

I do not pretend to be anyone else

I was born as I amSo I am is what I will be

If you could see.


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Chapter 1

Growing up in Paradise

When you think of Hawaii, or Honolulu, many just think of paradise, and in manyways it is. Many would love to live in the islands. I in some ways still wish I did.

However be careful not all paradise is paradise for everyone. I grew up in

Honolulu, after I was adopted in the states. My adoptive parents divorced, and

mom and I moved in with her boyfriend.My moms boyfriend was a Tour Escort, and later a limo driver. Mom at one time

was a Travel Agent, and then a store manager. I benefitted as a child and teen withbeing able to fly every summer back to the States

This was wonderful, for a time. In School, I learned Hula, Hawaiian language, thebasics, how to make leis, and a hula skirt too. We did dance performances at

schools, such as one in Maui to dance there as well.

Here is a little History of HawaiiHawaiians told the story of their Islands being pulled up from the sea by the demi-

god Maui, condensing geologic reality into a poetic version that related historywhile it applauded strength, bravery and perseverance. In many other legends and

chants, Hawaiians displayed their keen observation of nature and its workings,surmising in the creation chantKumulipoeven the first movements of life in that

time long before humans reached the Islands. Other tales like those of Pele gavenarrative shape to phenomena such as volcanic eruptions. Scientific knowledge of

the Islands' birth now mirrors that ancient wisdom. Source - Hawaiian History.orgIn Hula the Hawaiians, and now locals still tell their stories.


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Back to my life in the Islands Moms boyfriend was a pistol. He could be fun,charming, and cool. He I will call his name Kane, and yes he had Hawaiian blood.

He was 6 feet, and over 200 lbs. His job was to escort tourists on the Islands. I

recall mom and I visited Maui, just the two of us. It was fun. We had a great time.We stayed at a Resort, where there was a pool with a waterfall. We swam under it.There were swans which swam right up to you. We visited Lahina. Beautiful

Island. I loved the sunset, and beach most of all. The warm tradewinds, the waves,

and blue ocean sure to add a smile to anyones face. Well back to momsboyfriend. One thing he did right, and good by me was talking to a friend of his

whom later I worked for.It was a job at the airport as a Greeter. Kane could cook

up good stews, he allowed me to drink beer and at times smoke pot, aka pakalolo.Mom was not impressed. There was a cost to me for this enjoyment. I was

molested for over a year by him, and later as he got into drugs. I was abusedphysically and emotionally, as well as sexually by him, as was mom who was

nearly killed. I recalled being called every name in book and cussed out, had analarm thrown at me, and my but beaten as well as back. Mom got it much worse.

When I left during summer vacation one year, they decided it be good idea to eatmy pet bunny, my bun-bun. I was angry and began to cry and was told not to else I

would get it. I forced myself to hold it in In School I cannot say I was bullied as it

is today but did get beat downs, and did get molested, and nearly raped. As a white

girl, yes it was hard. Sometimes honestly I deserved a good whipping in my arse .One day was invited to a so called friendshouse where her brother molested me. I

did tell my friend, and was accused of lying. Friendship was over. I was alsoinvited to anothers near home, where brother and her put a knife to my throat,

while one cut some of my hair off. I got home, and got yelled at, and spanked. Ilearned quick people could hurt me, and I could not talk to anyone about it.

I recall being in the councilors office, this was at school, middle school. The

councilor asked one of the more popular girls why people did not like me, and she

said Well, shejust urks people, something about her, she is different . I was

then sent to a psychiatrist Needless to say I was mad. I honestly hated the baby

games I had to play, and felt I was being played with. I therefore had a fit, and then

left. I really did not have anyone explain the reason of what they were trying to do.

As a teen it is not cool to be known to have seen the shrink


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I began at 13-15 to hang out at airport, and also at times at Kahala Hilton with adolphin trainer, who allowed me to help feed and pet the dolphins. At the airport, I

got various tours one on one by Pilots , and Agents on planes. United, and

American Airlines. I ended up befriending a Flight Attendant whom, we ended upon same plane once to Chicago. Sammy was her name, with United. Sammyallowed me to help with the carts, serving a little, and took me down in the galley

on the 747.She was one of two who inspired me even more of being a Flight

Attendant. At 16 went to EWR via Denver on United , and second flight anotherFA really befriended me, talked with me, let me hang with her in galley area. I

loved it never forgot them.

At 15 and a half is when I began, greeting tourists, and lived basically at the

airport. People are funny. The questions people ask, hahaha. People believeeverything on tv. I was asked, Do you sleep, live in grass shacks like Gilligan? I

however loved the work, the people, and co workers. We had fun too. We wouldactually fool round on the pagers at the gates when it was slow. Once I was dared

to page Mike Kunt, Say Mike Kunt real fast and loud, then you will get it. LOLSRemember I was almost 16 at time, what do you expect. United in rainbow, I miss

the rainbow too. American Airline FAs wore beautiful blue floral uniforms. I met

Mr T, and the man who played the dad on Full house, and the Vice President too..

Mr T was cute and really nice too. I recall times having to run to gates for someflights came in early, it was funny. My muumuu would try to fly up, with a nice

slit on both sides. I met many people, even from Asia, Russia, Japan, etc.. Hawaiiis a melting pot indeed. I remember one time eating chili and rice in the employee

caf, took my stuff back up to the gates as I waited for next flight, and my group Ineeded to greet. I slipped on the escalator and ohhh the chili all over me. I was so

mad , and embarrassed. I laugh now. Then just as quick as I could went to change

into second uniform. Glad I happened to have one too.

Well at home things got worse, and the fighting almost every night. After

graduating, Kane was so into cocaine, pot, and an alcoholic it was bad. He came

after mom and then me with a butcher knife. Found not guilty intrial, but diedpainfully by illness. This was the seed of the end of my Hawaii life. I have been

through other challenges, and hurts, but who has not, I am a survivor, and am a

live, and so is my dream in me. It has wounded me


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I do have scars, but they have not defeated me. I am who I am rising of the

morning with new light. I now refuse abuse from anyone, nor can I stand it when I

see another or animal being abused. This is part of my life in Hawaii.Hawaiian Language ; The 5 vowels a,e,i,o and u as well as the 7 consonantsh,k,l,m,n,p, and w make up the entire Hawaiian alphabet. In the Hawaiian language

a consonant is always followed by a vowel which also means all Hawaiian words

end in a vowel.

Names and words are more easily pronounced when they are broken down into

single syllable chunks. Take the name of Hawaiis state fish,humuhumunukunukuapuaa, and pronounce it hu-mu-hu-mu-nu-ku-nu-ku-a-pu-a-

a. Phonetically pronounced who-moo-who-moo-new-coo-new-coo-ah-poo-ah-ah.Sometimes the letter Wis pronounced the same as Vas in the traditional

pronunciation of Hawai'i which is phonetically pronounced huh-vi-ee rather thanhuh-why-ee.

Stressed vowelsa - ah, as in car:alohae - a, as in may:nene

i - ee, as in bee: honio - oh, as inso: mahalo

u - oo, as inspoon: kapuUnstressed vowelsa - a, as in about:aliìe - eh,as in met:kane

In the Hawaiian language a symbol directly over a vowel called a kahak indicates

that the vowel sound is to be elongated. A apostrophe like symbol called an òkinaindicates a quick pause in the word, as in "ah-ah" for the word aà. Note: These

Hawaiian vocabulary words have not been

written with the use of the correct kahak markings due to the absence of aHawaiian Font.


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Hawaiian Days

Sunday - Lapule (lay-poo-lay )Monday - Poakahi (poh ah-kah-hee)

Tuesday - Poalua (poh ah-loo-ah)Wednesday - Poakolu (poh ah-ko-loo)

Thursday - Poaha (poh ah-ha)Friday - Poalima (poh ah-lee-mah)

Saturday - Po aono (poh ah-o-no)

Hawaiian months

January - Iaunuali (ee-ya-oo new-ahlee)February - Pepeluali (pay-pay loo-ahlee )

March - Malaki (ma-la-key)April - Apelila (ah-pe-lee-la)

May - Mei (may-ee)June - Iune (ee-oo-ney)

July - Iulai (ee-oo-la-ee)August - Aukake (ah-oo-ka-key)

September - Kepakemapa (key-pa-key-ma-pa)

October - 'Okakopa (oh-ka-ko-pa)November - Nowemapa (No-vay-ma-pa)

December - Kekemapa (key-key-ma-pa)


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Chapter 2

Paradise Lost

Domestic Violence steals, and kills the life of a family. It often ends in tragedy,

and those who survive are scarred .At one time our home was happy, and loving.Then it became a fearful place. When in your home you hear your mom being

beaten, and crying, you know your Paradise is lost. When you are whipped, yelled

at, molested for years, you know your Paradise is lost. When you know your petwas eaten, and another killed, you know Paradise is lost. Domestic Violence has

consequences for all in the family. My mom for a while made excuses for him, and

always said but she loved him. Love does not hurt you. Love does not cause youfear. Love does not take advantage of you, or abuse you. You may have to loseyour Paradise for a while, but was it really paradise or hell? A house is not a home,its you and your loved ones who make it a home or a hell. Domestic Violence

does not discriminate and can happen at any time during a relationship. It takesplace in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. It crosses all ethnic,

social, and economic lines. None is immune. The key in stopping this is

knowledge, and awareness. It is a very real reality for way to many. It is passedfrom generation to generation

A PoemLosing Myself

The sharp cold sting of your anger wraps across my skinI still see the marks that you engrave into me

Your words drip into my mind like a deadly poisonChanging the way I perceive myself

You're an animal with an insatiable appetite for killing people's happinessYou can't seem to stop until I'm bruised and broken down

I lose the strength to hold myself up as my body flops to the ground

I sense you looming over me laughing in my face


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To you this is a sickened pleasure

But to me it's my worst nightmareI scream and shout until it's a distant whisper

I cry and whimper cowering in the corner like a timid childWill this torture ever stop

Gemma Pearman. All rights reserved

Many times it never begins this way. Often the abuser is very charming.

Manyabusers where abused themselves,and have learned this is the norm at home.

I can tell you back in the day it was normal to keep home issues private. No one

wanted to know about it as the thinking was it is not our busness. It is sad this is

still the problem in many cases.

I have lived with my mom in domestic violence,and we were lucky to survive.

I have stopped a relationship as a teen because of abuse which was begining.

Here are some signs of domestic abuse;

Having a partner with a bad temper, or one who is jealous or possessive

Being overly eager to please the abuser

Checking in with abusive partner frequently to outline daily activities or confirm

prior plans

Frequent injuries and claiming of accidents

Inconsistent attendance at work, school, or other social activities

Excessive clothing or accessories to hide signs of physical abuse

Low self-esteem and self-worth


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Limited access to friends, family, transportation, or money

Depression or anxiety or other personality changes

Here is what WebMD says

Does your partner:

Embarrass you with put-downs?

Look at you or act in ways that scare you?

Control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go?

Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?

Take your money or paycheck, make you ask for money, or refuse to give youmoney?

Make all of the decisions?

Tell you that you're a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?

Threaten to commit suicide?

Prevent you from working or going to school?

Act like the abuse is no big deal or is your fault, or even deny doing it?

Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?

Intimidate you with guns, knives, or other weapons?

Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?

Threaten to kill you?


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If any of these things or other types of abuse are happening, you need to seek help.It's important to know that you are not alone. The way your partner acts is not your

fault. Help is available. Do you have a friend, coworker, relative, or neighbor whoyou think may be in an abusive relationship?

Signs that someone you know is being abused :

Bruises or injuries that look like they came from choking, punching, or being

thrown down. Black eyes, red or purple marks at the neck, and sprained wrists arecommon injuries in violent relationships.

Attempting to hide bruises with makeup or clothing

Making excuses like tripping or being accident-prone or clumsy. Often theseriousness of the injury does not match up with the explanation.

Having few close friends and being isolated from relatives and coworkers and keptfrom making friends

Having to ask permission to meet, talk with, or do things with other peopleHaving little money available; may not have credit cards or even a car

What are the long term effects on children who are abused?

Child abuse and neglect have been shown to cause important regions of the

brain to fail to form or grow properly, resulting in impaired development. Thesealterations in brain maturation have long-term consequences for cognitive,

language, and academic abilities and are connected with mental health disorders

(Tarullo, 2012)

The immediate emotional effects of abuse and neglectisolation, fear, and

an inability to trustcan translate into lifelong

psychological consequences, including low self-esteem, depression, and

relationship difficulties


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Sources

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/domestic-violence-signs-of-domestic-violencehttps://www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domestic_violence/impact.cfmFor Teenshttp://www.stoptheviolence.org/dv-teen-dating-violenceHelp for Domestic Violencehttp://www.thehotline.org/

The otherside of abuse not many like to look at, or even believe it happens is, the

abuse of men. Yes men get abused as well. Some women get so angry for this to besuggested. It is true there is still many more women,and children who get abusedthen men.

It is not publicised because of shame, and the sterotyping of how a man should be.

If a man is a victim we look at him as week, or for some reason deserving theabuse. This is so wrong. We are each sacred,valuable in our own selves. NO ONE

deserves abuse of any kind. I think we as a society today do not value life as

generations ago did. We need to value life again. It begins with individuals, and inthe home. It also takes humility to go and get help for oneself,and family.Be an

abuser,victim,or both,one cannot change this over night,or alone. I also think inthis generation of today, many have forgotten manners. Manners are not so muchtaught in homes like they were in the generations before. It is little things that

become big things.

Women-May I say to us all, we do not need a man to be fulfilled, or happy. We do not need

another to be happy, and fulfilled.We must find this within. Somone said "

Happiness is based on happenings- everything goes right we are happy,but Joy iswhat will carry you through in every circomstancwe, and no one can take joy from

you.You give it away." Jesus gives Joy.However I know we all have various beliefs,so my point one must find joy, or

stregnth within first. Yes we are emotional beings,even more so than men.Men are

visual. Learn, and I am speaking to myself too,as is easier said than done for manyof us. Love ourselves, than we can love others,and attract true love. It does say

somewhere.love your neighbor,as you love yourself. How can you love another, ifyou do not love self?
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/domestic-violence-signs-of-domestic-violencehttp://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/domestic-violence-signs-of-domestic-violencehttps://www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/https://www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domestic_violence/impact.cfmhttps://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domestic_violence/impact.cfmhttp://www.stoptheviolence.org/dv-teen-dating-violencehttp://www.stoptheviolence.org/dv-teen-dating-violencehttp://www.thehotline.org/http://www.thehotline.org/http://www.thehotline.org/http://www.stoptheviolence.org/dv-teen-dating-violencehttps://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domestic_violence/impact.cfmhttps://www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/domestic-violence-signs-of-domestic-violence


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Men-Maybe the women you see as needy, and want to take advantage of, just needs

help, and healing. It does not matter your past what others have done, it is no

excuse to take advantage of a woman. Yes woman should not do it too. If youexoect,or believe you are called to be head of house, then first be head of your life,

take control of your own life. Love yourself,be secure in yourself. No you cannot,nor is it your calling to change her, or anyone else. You are respobnsible for

you,and only you can change you. It is ok to be human,to get help whenneeded.YOU are NOT superman! Embrace your humanity, know what is just to be.

Men you all also do not NEED a bunch of stuff to be happy, nor do you Need a

woman to fulfill you. Find within first.

To us all,we must understand two needy people getting together is disaster waiting

to happen. I know been there done that.

Each day we are given a new oppotunities to make better choices. If we do not like

how our lives are, than maybe we need to make better,and different choices. Doingthings same old way,yet we expect different ,better results is truly nuts. Begin

today, this moment a new. Write a new chapter in your own life. You are the writerof how your life will end. This another reason I have chosen to write. I want to

literally write a new chapter in my life. It takes time,work,effort. I chose to live itone day at a time.

The power of choice. I use to hate when people said it is a choice, it is your

choice,you can choose. Why did I hate that? Because it means I am responsible,

and cannot blame anyone for where my life is at, or for not being happy.

Sometimes the truth truly hurts.


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Each day we are given a new oppotunities to make better choices. If we do not like

how our lives are, than maybe we need to make better,and different choices. Doingthings same old way,yet we expect different ,better results is truly nuts. Begin

today, this moment a new. Write a new chapter in your own life. You are the writerof how your life will end. This another reason I have chosen to write. I want to

literally write a new chapter in my life. It takes time,work,effort. I chose to live itone day at a time.

The power of choice. I use to hate when people said it is a choice, it is yourchoice,you can choose. Why did I hate that? Because it means I am responsible,

and cannot blame anyone for where my life is at, or for not being happy.

Sometimes the truth truly hurts.

Our move to a new State brought new experiences; such as, Cedar Point, SeaWorldback then, and Indians games. I also shared in the experiences of the four

seasons. Fall has got to be one of my favorite ones. I used to love snow, but as I getolder it seems to get colder. Now I cannot believe I got tired of paradise for this..

Yea something must be wrong with my head alright. For the first 6 months we

lived with gram in her one bedroom apartment. This was not fun, no privacy at all.

My uncle built a house for us and did tell mom it be rent to own. Later he decidedno it be just rent. This is good and bad. Rent has gone up once, however they show

up whenever they want to with little notice.

People generally are nice here. However, when I first moved here it was hard. Ispoke broken English, and pigeon. I was corrected a lot working fast food by my

manager. I would tell him, it is how I grew up talking, people in Hawaiiunderstood me. Well I found out if I wanted to work I had to forget the pigeon talk,

such as give me dis, da kind, and yo.A few years after moving to Ohio, I went back to Hawaii for a friends

wedding. It hurt me much that I was not invited to be in the wedding party. It wasa very close friend. I still wished her well, gave them their wedding gift. I was

staying at another friends home while they were away. Unfortunately I found outanother friend decided to make plans for me one day for all day cleaning. I said no

as I am on vacation, and of course make sure the home is cleaned better than I


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came into it. She had fit said I am coming over and I will help her all day. She was

so angry, thought as it was very bad calling cops, however did not knowaddy. Well, she came did as I was told to the best of my ability while I listened to

her yell at her young son. I found out later yes she was abusive, and lost her son

temporarily. I explained what happened to my dear friend who had married, andcame back from honeymoon. She did not believe me. We ended up parting ways

over this. Later years later she wrote me a letter of apology. At that time I threw itout. I chose not to forgive her. That was mistake. It planted a seed of anger and

offense in me. I have learned after so many years un forgiveness does not hurtanyone but yourself.

Well, back in Ohio I began working at various places from restaurants to factories,and nursing homes doing laundry. Even worked part time at a greenhouse, as well

as fast-food. I was a crew trainer 3 out of 5 years at McDs. They seemed at the

time to want the younger in management, but was glad to have a job, and be able totrain new hires. I guess I was seeking something truly satisfying, and that wouldpay decent. The factory work some I just was not fast enough, the others got out

sourced to Japan. Ugh.

In one Nursing home I was working as a Laundry Aide, did what I was supposed toand day shift always complained they had to sort. LOL So did I when I came in,

and not my fault the Nursing Assistants did not get their last drops down till it was

my time to punch out. One lady really had in for me so bad, she sliced my tires andone day in the basement we nearly got into a fist fight yet we both knew the

person who did first punch would be wrong. Well it got reported and I got fired.She did not A few years later found out Karma got them. and my immediate

supervisor they all got fired . Some for drugs, and the others for not doing their job

as they were supposed to. I found out from an Aide who I used to work with about

two years later. This is little consolation as I have tried to explain why I was firedto new employers. They do not want to hear why.

Dating time. I met a man, a customer of where I worked. I was waitressing.He was nice looking, and about 511 tall. He was more of a a country boythan city boy. We went out for 6 months. Mom always had somethingnegative to say. He was not good enough. He was nice took care of me inmany ways which was nice although he did not have to. We did end upbreaking up because his view of hunting and mine differed; He loved to


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kill for sport, and trophies. Yes he ate some of the meat, but more was forsport. I can see hunting for the food, but killing just for sport. I alsowondered if he was too good to be true We did many things together, and Istill miss that. I have seen a few others, and my other two were just

abusive. One was more controlling about everything. The other a badtemper, and was very verbally abusive. I have thought sometimes, maybethis is what I deserve. It is a lie, no one deserves to be abused During thistime, I began to use credit cards like medicine. Either m faith was nevergood enough or I obedient enough, but I never seemed to be blessedenough to be able to be completely free, and be a blessing back. So I usedcredit cards to give appearance was blessed. Blessed myself with a trip toIsrael with a church, although the airfare I paid with was money I hadinvested and got back from a company. I went through years where it

seemed I was nit invited to go out, or go here and there by those in church.I brought any friend I could. Steak lunches, movies, dinners. I was blessedyou know. Over time I have learned most people are superficial, andacceptance is only if you are as successful as they, or as beautiful as they. Imet some good people who were blessings I my life for a time; however they had

their own families. After I left the Church after many years, I was told to please donot contact them or family members by some of my so called friends as I was

choosing rebellion, and the devil. It just seemed I could never deny self-enough,never have god enough faith, never persevered enough.

I learned in church I am not good enough, I am just not enough. I will write in

another chapter about my ministry experiences, and some reasons really why I left.Now I was no angel, and yes did some things wrong. I also knew it was wrong

too, but justified myself. I will also share what I did which was wrong, and let youthe reader decide if I deserved what I got. I will not give real names, or the church

as this issue is done, and over. Hopefully someone may learn from me and not to

make the same mistakes I did. Let me make clear to there are out there good, true

Christians, not all are hypocrites or horrid. In every walk of life, there are noperfect people.

Ohio, the armpit of America. How often I have heard ths statement. There is truth

in it. Yet the place where one finds oneself is what you and I make it to be. Anoppotunity to grow, or grow up,or even to become bitter wretches. Also that

statement "Ohio is the armpit of America" is often said in a negative tone.


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However, if we think of our bodies, believe it or not we do need our armpits. So

we in Ohio are needed and are just aas important to our country.

Have I ever tried moving out of Ohio? Yes, and still hope one day to relocate, and

begin a new chapter. It is part of my dreams, which I also will write, and share in abit. Yep, I still have my dreams. I was told even by teachers in school to choose

other things in life, I cannot be successful. It is way to competitive. I have LD, (Learning Disabilities) you cant. Maybe I am nuts. But if I die without my dreams,

I can say I lived to fulfill them. It is better than dying wondering what if? It is sad,but in my opinion some people die early because they allowed their own dream to

die. Yes it is costly to go after your dreams in many ways. If more of us could do

what we love, have passion for, the more companies, and others would benefit.More people would honestly be happy. A happy worker is a productive worker.

Living in Ohio has also brought opportunities I may not have gotten otherwise. I

think I have traveled more since being here, than when I was in Hawaii. Myhobbies are swimming when I can, drawing at times, and writing my own poems. Iwill share more in a. I enjoy taking a walk, and at times volunteering.

A quiet night near the computer is a good nite. Home is where the heart is.So home can be anyplace. Many think the house makes the home. In some ways it

does,but truth is it is the people who are together who make it a home.This past winter was bad,somedays did not make it above 0. We were visited by

the Northpole, and for a time thought Santa was moving into town. This was one of

our better Winter days.Nearly a foot of snow on this day.

Chapter 4

Working as a CNA

Experience of being a STNA(State Tested Nursing Assistant- aka CNA)

Great preparation for one who also seeks to be a Flight AttendantYears- 2000 - 2007


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How it beganIn January 2000, I went to a Missionary school in Jamaica for 5 months. When I

returned to Ohio, I needed to get back to working for a living. Living in Northern

Ohio can be great, but Ohio has lost many jobs. In some places it is like a ghosttown. I recalled at one time I had done personal care at Our Lady of the Wayside in

early 90s or late 80s,like 89. However I found out now one must be certified,trained, and tested. This is not easy, and the testing is no cakewalk. You are tested

by the state. Well it took time, searching for the right place near to us, as well asopportunity. Some charged ,others did not. I ended up beginning at a nursing

home, which also had classes, training, and certified there. It was November of

2000 when I began the classes. Time was from 830am- 430- 5pm.It also began with desire to care for those unable to care for themselves, to serve

others who truly could not give back, and also to grow in developing more

compassion for other people. I also have seen much of a lack of respect for theelderly in America. Japan honors their elders. In this I wished also to do.

Teamwork IS a MustI cannot over emphasize this. There is no stars, or I in team.I have worked with some who just did not like me, I knew it as I knew they would

come in back of me to find faults, as well as they never were friendly.

However when it came to direct patient care I, and they knew we would putdifferences aside, and do what is best for our residence. Some of us actually ended

up having mutual respect for one another even though we would never be friends.

Key to safe work, safe residence is team.People are not stupid, if there is BS,turmoil among the workers, residence know,and feel. There is much I learned in

this line of work. Some things I do wish turned out differently, things I could havedone differently.

However over all, I never regretted my experiences, both the good , the hard, theunfair. I know what it is to work doubles, to stay over. To work alone, and as a

team. I know what it is like to have a very supportive nursing staff, most arewonderful. I also know what it is like to have some predejuice against me, and not

be allowed to defend myself. To work under many who are so so great, and otherswho made my tummy turned when I went in.

Yet I regret no experience as it has been my journey


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CNA Training and Certification and its correlation in preparing to one day be a

Flight Attendant.Flight Attendant work is hard work, stressful; training is intense 6-8 weeks, is

rewarding and at same time can be dangerous work. Being a Flight Attendant

requires great people skills, communication, compassion, and the ability to dealwith stress daily.Flight Attendants first responsibility is safety, so they learn emergency procedures,as well as medical emergency procedures. It is also then about service, and

compassion. You must love people.CNA Training and Certification

The CNA training and CNA certification process usually takes 6-12 weeks and is

often conducted in a community college or a medical facility.In Novemeber 2000 I was trained, and certified in 2001 in April in a nursing home,

but agreed once certified I would remain with the home a full year before going

with agency or elsewhere. There I almost made two years.The program includes a number of different topics such as Basic Nursing Skills,Infection control, Proper Body Mechanics, Nutrition, Basic anatomy and

Physiology.The different courses are taught either by Registered Nurses or Licensed PracticalNurses. You will learn a lot of different skills and gain a lot of knowledge during

the course of the training. There is also a required minimum 75 hours of clinical

training, this is also known as Clinical Externship.You will learn a number of different skills during your training and this would

include: Being able to get the patients vital signs, these include; heart rate,

respiratory rate and blood pressure. Aside from being able to take patients vitalsigns you should also know how to print these off the computer in order to chart

them properly.Since being a CNA means being in the front line when dealing with patients part of

their training includes being able to communicate with patients and this

communication can be verbal and non-verbal communication. Good bed side

manners are extremely important in this job.Aside from being able to become aCertified Nursing Assistant in a short time another plus side in taking the required

training and certification is that you can take the classes at your own convenience.

This is because classes are available in the morning, in the evening or in theweekends. This is a big advantage to those of you who also have other

opportunities and responsibilities to juggle in your life.


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Homes, Nursing homes, Hospitals.

HMM , I have worked in all. Home is best for the resident, but not always best. I

had to use a Hoyer, which is a lift for some. In nursing homes, and hospitals youare never allowed to use one alone. Safety first, and above all. This is one major

reason I left doing home care, to risky. We work hard to get certified.Nursing homes, I have worked at several. Some are excellent, and they allow

residence their pets, and appearance does not look like theyre in an asylum. Otherslook to cold, and team work, and support suck. CNAs are working still short staff,

underpaid, and not enough good supplies due to cuts. Some aides after 5-6 yrs like

me will leave due to watching too many die, dealing with literally depressingsituations, burn out, lack of support and just needing a change. Then there are thosewho become nurses, LPNs, or RNs.

It is so sad medicare cuts really do effect the quality of care in homes. Do not our

elders deserve quality care. Not every family can afford, or have the resources tocare for the elders at home. Not everyone has a family to help. There are singles

who barely make it themselves. Unfortunately we do need Nursing Homes. But,we need ones who will truly care, and yes we need the government to not make

any more cuts to medicare or medicaide.

Do we recall President Obamas political promise, If you like your health careplan, you can keep it, Well it is also said millions of Americans have lost

coverage as a result of Obamacare. As 2014 unfolds, the most vulnerable seniorcitizensthose who receive home health care servicesare about to they are

out of luck. Obamacare according to many Republicans leaves this elderlypopulation in a freefall with many senior citizens losing access to home health

care.


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The Nursing Home Checklist

Resident Appearance Yes No CommentAre the residents clean, well groomed, andappropriately dressed for the season or time ofday?

Nursing Home Living Spaces

Is the nursing home free from overwhelming

unpleasant odors?Does the nursing home appear clean and wellkept?

Is the temperature in the nursing homecomfortable for residents?

Does the nursing home have good lighting?Are the noise levels in the dining room andother common areas comfortable?Is smoking allowed? If so, is it restricted tocertain areas of the nursing home?

Are the furnishings sturdy, yet comfortable

and attractive?

Does the nursing home offer a training andcontinuing education program for all staff?Does the nursing home check to make surethey dont hire staff members who have beenfound guilty of abuse, neglect or mistreatmentof residents; or have a finding of abuse, neglect,

or mistreatment of residents in the state nurseaid registry?Is there a licensed nursing staff 24 hours a day,including a Registered Nurse (RN) present at

least 8 hours per day, 7 days a week?Do CNAs help plan the care of residents?

Visit Nursing Home Compare at www.medicare.gov/

NHCompare for more information.


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Chapter 5

Living in a Missionary School

In January 2000 to June 2000, I lived in Jamaica for five months in aMissionary,discipleship school. It was sponcered by the Church of God,but

welcomed all of like faith to come if they felt called.

It began the year before 1989. It was June or July, when a lady in our church

sanctuary said to me,"When you feel the Lord speakung to you about

Missions,then come talk to me" A week later I went to her. She said she felt shewas to pay for my schooling in Jamaica, all Id have to do is cover airfare,and

incedentals.It was 2-3,000.00 for the five months. Well I applied,filled the paperwork out,and waited. About a month later I was notified of my acceptance. I left on

January 2nd, a cold, and snowy day.Although we had snow,it did not snow when Ileft for airport,till after we left.Flew on American's MD80. I remember thinking

sitting by the window, just looking out at the snow before pushback"this is goingto be something". It was.I flew from Ohio to Miami and onto Jamaica. Customes

there was 2 hours, and hot. My pick up was late as it was a pick also for anotherwho just came in. The drive back to the base was 3 hours, as we stopped to for one

reason or another. I was tired, and hungry. They fed us well, hooping on a load ofwhite rice, and fried chicken with a little spice. It was my favorite of the dinners

there.I was greeted warmly, and felt very welcomed by all.There was also a school for Jamaican boys going on as well.

Jamaican CultureJamaican culture represents a combination of cultures that have inhabited

theGreater Antilles island,Jamaica.The originalTaino Settlers, followed by their

Spanish conquerors (who were in turn conquered by the British), all made major

contributions. However, it is the blacks and slaves who became the dominantcultural force as they suffered and resisted the harsh conditions of forced labour.

After the abolition of slavery, Chinese and Indian migrants were transported to theisland asindentured workers, bringing with them ideas from the Far East. The

official local language is English, however a local dialect called Patois(pronounced

'patwa') is spoken by some residents. I quickly learned Waguan- meaning hello.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_Antilleshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaicahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ta%C3%ADno_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indenturedhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indenturedhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ta%C3%ADno_peoplehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaicahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_Antilles


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Tha is about it and one other phrase I actually learned and remember. By far thelargest religion in Jamaica is the Christian faith. The Anglican Church, baptist and

the Church of God are throughout the country. Many old churches have been

carefully maintained and/or restored.The Rastafari movementis an African-based spirituality that was born sometime

in the 1930s inJamaica.It is s a religion but is also thought of by many adherentsto be a "Way of Life".Haile Selassie I,Emperor ofEthiopia(ruled 19301974),Is believed by some to beas Jesus in hisSecond Advent,or asGod the Father.Members of the Rastafari way

of life are known as Rastas, or the Rastafari.

Roomates

We had six of us woman,5 of who were Jamaican,and me American all living inone room,bunkbed style,and one shower. Very interesting indeed. At first weexperienced what was called a honeymoon period,and then fith week getting on

each others nerves. I seemed to be the target, and leadership backed them. So I

learned slowly, yet quick I had no one I really could talk with, or even really trust.It was something good in many ways though. I learned to be flexible, the principle

of adapting,humility. I will say this if you are a self centered person, you will never

make itin Mission school. One must be able to always give of themselves,andconstantly tik of others in all you do. Privacy, hardly none.We were up early,as the

dawn rose, till late in the evening.

Classes,and choresClasses were five days a week,Sunday Church day. Half a day of Church.Chores were done during week ,three days after class. One day Saturday was

considered our sabbat day. We were free to go to beach,shopping, or remain at

base resting.Classes were on the Bible, being a servant,teachings of Jesus etc. It includedworship, and drama classes We had team building excercises as well. One team

building activity was at Orcho Rios, walking up, then down a slippery waterfall.

Guess what, guess who ate it? Me. I slipped,fell on my rear. I had a bruise,and laterfoot infected so bad I could not walk on it.

They waited a week before taking me to the DR. I was given medication for the

pain,and infection. In mean time the guys had to carry me to class. I was soembarrassed.Our chores were anything from cutting leaves, trash pick up from the land, toKPduty washing chicken, guts and all,and preparing food etc.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaicahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaicahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaicahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lifestyle_(sociology)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lifestyle_(sociology)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haile_Selassie_Ihttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haile_Selassie_Ihttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethiopiahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethiopiahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethiopiahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Adventhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Adventhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Adventhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_the_Fatherhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_the_Fatherhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_the_Fatherhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_the_Fatherhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Adventhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethiopiahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haile_Selassie_Ihttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lifestyle_(sociology)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamaica


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OutreachesThe outreaches were two. One was after the first three months. It was a week of

base living in a church for a week on the floor.The first is where the leaders did

teaching,led worship,and prayer. The 2nd outreach was two weeks later for threeweeks. Yes we lived in a church again. Helped with cleaning, uilding,doing street

ministry drama,visiting schools. This is where we took turns preaching onSunday,and Weds,leading prayer etc.

Karma exisits at missionary schools too.What you sow, you will reap is also true. Icall this same sayings , two sides of the same coin.

We had this lady, assistant director who for some reason decded to judge mebefore knowing me. I know this as she admitted it later. our first meeting as agroup there we were asked to share our testimony and how we got there. She did

not believe it when I shared how I got there, and from then on had attitude against

me. When I asked what is your issue with me. She said"You are full of self, andpride. Look what you shared at testimony time"I was royally hurt so much, I allowed myself to go into depression for most of my

time there.Not long after she shared this with me ,she for some reasn had a coma, or heart

attack forgot what. It was so serious she had to leave for weeks, and was not the

same.I since have forgotten her name, and would never publicly mention her name.We

did get to talk again for a short time,and I felt her love and compassion for me forthe first time. She did ask for forgiveness, and I did. The problem now I was still

dealing with team leaders who were young,a couple immature if I was asked who

told me things which I kept to self for most part. The ones I did not I went to them,

or the head. Then wish I did not,so I kept mouth shut. When I was asked by otherswhat is wrong I lied, and said oh, nothing just me, tired etc.Unfortunnately this was

planting much hurt in me. I took walks by myself praying, begging God to heal my

heart, grant me peace to no end. I wept much quietly to myself to bed. I got introuble for not awaking to a roomate crying out of fear because she saw a demon.

Yes my leaders, young guns scolded me for not rising at 3 am. I knew it was

nothing and why me why notthe others. I will be honest, I felt resentment rising inme against them.I prayed asked God to heal my heart, defend me etc to no avail. I felt forgotten, andforsaken. What did I walk into? I asked to be sent home twice, and the Director


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talked me out twice, and was not happy. Honestly I also played sick some days to

stay away from most of them. I wanted to come home. I had no peace, no bondwith anyone. I think this was both the best thing for me for growth, but also a very

hellish experience. My one leader who was 19, a woman asked me, can I shower

with you? I said NO. She kept at me, why? We should be able to be nakedunashamed.I said NO. Again why? I said no, I am uncomfortable, have been

molested, and do not wish to go through it again thank you.Finally she left me be. "Just joking anyways', was her reply.

About five years later, one of my team mates came to the states. in fact to Ohio. I

happened to see her at a restraunt. We greeted each other, caught up for a few. SHe

was going to be going to school here. She did update me on the Missionary School.Two years after we graduated it was closed, all of the school was shut down.

Lessons I learned living in a Missionary School in another culture...

Learn sometjhing about the culture in which you will live before going to live inanother culture

You are the guest when living in anther culture,so you must be flexible.

Humility in serving What it means to be a servant, and to give of yourself.

There is no I in Team.

What pride, and ego is, not just by seeing it in others, but yes myself included.

Dogs are not treated as pets like in the USA, they are working animals fed last, and

not on a plate

Too Many Jamaicans live in tin can homes, and are very poor.

I have nothingto complain about here in Ohio, I am rich in many ways.We in America truly have little to none to complain about compared to how some

live everyday.

God's ways I'll never understand

Karma is a real principle, and reaping what you sow is too. I have seen it at work.


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Key to moving forward is forgiveness

Not all who preach the gospel, the good news of Jesus, the love of God walk it,

live itSOME are too legalistic,judgemental, or whatever.

Then again there are hypocrites in every area of life.

Spiritual leaders should never ask for any sexual favors, or ask you to dosomething you truly are not comfortable about. Use your head. ( Now my one

leader I do not believe her intent was sexual, but more friendly play) She was 19, I

was 26.As a leader that was wrong to ask to shower with me.

Abuse can take place in spiritual, religious arenas too

Be very careful whom you trust, not everyone is for you, or is who they seem tobe.

Patwa- Jamaican.Provided to me by a Jamaican friend

Frah whafrom whatpawtpart

yuh dehyou fromexample: Frah wha pawt yuh deh?Where are you from? / From what part are

you?suhso

yuhyou

nah guh - not goingbaddabother

example: Suh yuh nah guh badda guhSo, you are not going to bother goingchoan exclamation meaning wow, DARN ! etc.

ah weh - to where

eemhim/her (usually him in most cases)tink eem ah guhthinks is going to

duhdoexample: cho! ah weh eem tink eem ah guh duh?DARN ! Whats does he think

he is going to do?ah sake ahits because of

arher


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mek eemwhy he

nah lefnot leavingyahher

example: ah sake ah ar mek eem nah lef yahits because of her why hes not

leaving heredahthat

breddahbrother/man/guydehright there (optional because this sentence would still make sense without it)

mout ah massychatterbox / talkativeeeh!isnt he/do you agree

example: dah bredda (deh) mout ah massy eeh! -that man (right there) is talkative,

isnt he?cooh deh!look at that!

deh ahthey are

galang lakka sehbehaving as ifdemtheygimme -give me


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Chapter 6

Other Spirituality

Wicca?/ Other Spirituality-Buddahism

For a time and season I totally left The Faith to explore another path What is

Wicca about,my experience,what did I learn?

In the beginingAfter a year went byof not being in church,having my friends leave, I decided Ineeded something to fill my spiritual needs.I decided to go to the library and seek. I knew what I was taught, and whatscriptures said on the subject of divination, and witchcraft. However, the scriptures

inspired by God,were also written by man. Man is not infailable. Today there areso many versions of scripture,and heavy debate from Scholors about the KJV being

the closest to the original writtings.

What is Wicca?

Many fear what they do not know, or understand. When something to us seems outof the box,and different we normally draw back.Many who have any church background know it has been taught it is evil,God

condemns this etc.

Well what is Wicca?It is an earth based relgion, or spirituality.Wicca is a very peaceful, harmonious and balanced way of life which promotes

oneness with the divine and all which exists. Wicca is a belief system and way of

life based upon the reconstruction of pre-Christian traditions originating in Ireland,Scotland, and Wales.

Below I will share the 13 principles of Wiccan belief, based on books such as Scott

Cuninghams,Wicca for the beginner, and a book Wicca for Dummies.

The 13 principles of Wiccan belief:


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We practice rites to attune ourselves with the natural rhythm of lifeforces marked by the phases of the Moon and the seasonal Quartersand Cross Quarters.We recognize that our intelligence gives us a unique responsibilitytoward our environment. We seek to live in harmony with nature inecological balance offering fulfillment to life and consciousness withinan evolutionary concept.

We acknowledge a depth of power far greater than that apparent tothe average person. Because it is far greater than ordinary it issometimes called supernatural, but we see it as lying within thatwhich is naturally potential to all.

We acknowledge a depth of power far greater than that apparent tothe average person. Because it is far greater than ordinary it issometimes called supernatural, but we see it as lying within thatwhich is naturally potential to all.

We conceive of the Creative Power in the universe as manifestingthrough polarity as masculine and feminine and that this sameCreative Power lies in all people and functions through the interaction

of the masculine and the feminine. We value neither above the otherknowing each to be supportive of the other. We value sex as pleasureas the symbol and embodiment of life, and as one of the sources ofenergy used in magical practice and religious worship.

We recognize both outer worlds and inner, or psychological worldssometimes known as the Spiritual World, the CollectiveUnconsciousness, the Inner Planes etc and we see in the interactionof these two dimensions the basis for paranormal phenomena andmagical exercises. We neglect neither dimension for the other, seeing

both as necessary for our fulfillment.

We do not recognize any authoritarian hierarchy, but do honor thosewho teach, respect those who share their greater knowledge andwisdom, and acknowledge those who have courageously given ofthemselves in leadership.


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We see religion, magick and wisdom in living as being united in theway one views the world and lives within it a world view andphilosophy of life which we identify as Witchcraft the Wiccan Way.

Calling oneself Witch does not make a Witch but neither does

heredity itself, nor the collecting of titles, degrees and initiations. AWitch seek to control the forces within her/himself that make lifepossible in order to live wisely and without harm to others and inharmony with nature.

We believe in the affirmation and fulfillment of life in a continuationof evolution and development of consciousness giving meaning to theUniverse we know and our personal role within it.

Our only animosity towards Christianity, or towards any other religion

or philosophy of life, is to the extent that its institutions have claimedto be the only way and have sought to deny freedom to others and tosuppress other ways of religious practice and belief.

As American Witches, we are not threatened by debates on the historyof the craft, the origins of various terms, the legitimacy of variousaspects of different traditions. We are concerned with our present andour future.

We do not accept the concept of absolute evil, nor do we worship anyentity known as Satan or the Devil as defined by Christian tradition.We do not seek power through the suffering of others, nor accept thatpersonal benefit can be derived only by denial to another.

We believe that we should seek within Nature that which iscontributory to our health and well-being.

Well, as I read, and saught, I found a tradition first online. I will not disclose the

name as it is not important, and I am not trying to convert either. I stayed withthem for three years, attained 2nd degree Priestess status. Later I was invited to be

part of an eclectic coven.Very layed back. Yes we did rituals, did studies, went outtogether,had over nights,and just had fun. This was for over a year till drama broke

us up. Then what do you think,about 10-11 of us all women,various ages from 23-50. Yes things got catty.However, I must share I learned a lot, both good things, and not so good things.


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Wicca is also another man made relgion began by Gerald Gardner, founder of theGardnerian Tradition. They are very traditional and strict about things. Both

grouops I was in were rooted in Gardnerian.They are very ceremonial, and

secretive.I am free to share as I have been invited to their rituals, and initiation.

There is no sacrifice of aimals, or humans. This goes against their basic law"HarmNone"The Wiccan Rede, also known as council of te Wise is their guide,and what

binds all Wiccans together.

The Wiccan Rede

Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust. Live you must

and let to live, fairly take and fairly give. For tread the Circle thrice about to keep

unwelcome spirits out. To bind the spell well every time, let the spell be said inrhyme. Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little, listen much. Honor the OldOnes in deed and name, let love and light be our guides again. Deosil go by the

waxing moon, chanting out the joyful tune. Widdershins go when the moon doth

wane, and the werewolf howls by the dread wolfsbane. When the Lady's moon isnew, kiss the hand to Her times two. When the moon rides at Her peak then your

heart's desire seek. Heed the North winds mighty gale, lock the door and trim the

sail. When the Wind blows from the East, expect the new and set the feast. Whenthe wind comes from the South, love will kiss you on the mouth. When the wind

whispers from the West, all hearts will find peace and rest. Nine woods in the

Cauldron go, burn them fast and burn them slow. Birch in the fire goes to representwhat the Lady knows. Oak in the forest towers with might, in the fire it brings the

God's insight. Rowan is a tree of power causing life and magick toflower. Willows at the waterside stand ready to help us to the Summerland.

Hawthorn is burned to purify and to draw faerie to your eye. Hazel-the tree of

wisdom and learning adds its strength to the bright fire burning. White are the

flowers of Apple tree that brings us fruits of fertility. Grapes grow upon the vinegiving us both joy and wine. Fir does mark the evergreen to represent immortality

seen. Elder is the Lady's tree burn it not or cursed you'll be. Four times the Major

Sabbats mark in the light and in the dark. As the old year starts to wane the newbegins, it's now Samhain. When the time for Imbolc shows watch for flowers

through the snows.

When the wheel begins to turn soon the Beltane fires will burn. As the wheel turnsto Lamas night power is brought to magick rite. Four times the Minor Sabbats fall


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use the Sun to mark them all. When the wheel has turned to Yule light the log the

Horned One rules. In the spring, when night equals day time for Ostara to comeour way. When the Sun has reached it's height time for Oak and Holly to

fight. Harvesting comes to one and all when the Autumn Equinox does fall. Heed

the flower, bush, and tree by the Lady blessed you'll be. Where the rippling watersgo cast a stone, the truth you'll know. When you have and hold a need, harken not

to others greed. With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend. MerryMeet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart. Mind the Three-fold

Laws you should three times bad and three times good. When misfortune is enowwear the star upon your brow. Be true in love this you must do unless your love is

false to you. These Eight words the Rede fulfill:

"An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will"

Wiccans Celebrate 8 holidays, or what is known as SabbatsFour Dark,four light, refering to the time of year. The Wheel of the year is brokeninto dark, and light. Our Year is dark and light. Fall and Winter is known as dark,

and Spring, and Summer known as the light part of the year.

The Sabbats are;

Do not be afraid to google the Sabbats, and read about what they mean to Wiccans,and how they are celebrated.

I do want to share about Samhain, or as many know it Halloween. What really is itto Wiccans, and a bit of history.

Samhain: Halloween, Winter Nights, All Hallows Eve - October 31stSamhain (*Note: Samhain is pronounced sowen, soween, saw-win, saw-vane or

sahven, not sam-hayne)Halloween, Winter Nights, All Hallows Eve - October 31stOther names for Samhain include Samhuin, Samain, Saman, Oidhche Shamhna,

Hallowe'en, Halloween, Hallows, Hallowtide, Shadow Fest, Allantide, ThirdHarvest, Harvest Home, Geimredh, Day of the Dead (Feile na Marbh), Feast of the

Dead, Spirit Night, Candle Night, November Eve, Nutcrack Night, Ancestor Nightand Apple Fest.
http://wicca.com/celtic/akasha/mabon.htmhttp://wicca.com/celtic/akasha/mabon.htmhttp://wicca.com/celtic/akasha/mabon.htmhttp://wicca.com/celtic/akasha/mabon.htmhttp://wicca.com/celtic/akasha/mabon.htmhttp://wicca.com/celtic/akasha/mabon.htmhttp://wicca.com/celtic/akasha/mabon.htmhttp://wicca.com/celtic/akasha/mabon.htmhttp://wicca.com/celtic/akasha/mabon.htm


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Christian names for it include All Hallows Eve (although some churches fix that as

November 7), Hallows Eve, Santos, Devil Night and Mischief Night. It is alsocalled Martinmas, but that is properly the name for the actual cross quarter day

which occurs when the sun reaches its power point in Scorpio. Some church

calendars fix November 11 as Martinmas.Samhain (Summer's End) is one of our four Greater Sabbats, the highest holy day

of witches. It is a cross quarter day, situated betweenAutumn

EquinoxandWinter Solstice.Samhain is a major festival with several aspects. It

is new year's eve for witches, as well as our third and final harvest festival.Samhain inaugurates Winter, is the final chance to dry herbs for winter storage,

and a night when fairies supposedly afoot working mischief. It is also the Day of

the Dead for us as it was for the Celts, Egyptians and ancient Mexicans, the nightwhen we remember our loved ones and honor our ancestors. We also celebrate

reincarnation and note the absence the Sun (the god), who will be reborn at Winter

Solstice as the Child of Promise. Astrologically, Samhain marks the rising of thePleiades.Late October was the nut harvest for Celts, and the time for salting winter's supply

of meat. Scholars disagree on this, but many fix this date as the Celtic new year.

November 1 is the actual date of Samhain but like other Celtic derived festivals itis celebrated on its eve. November 1 is New Year's Day for witches, as it was for

the Babylonians.

One of the four greater Sabbats, of the Wiccan/pagan year. For the Celts, Samhainwas the feast of the dead in Pagan and Christian times, its arrival signaled the close

of harvest and the start of the winter season. Fairies were imagined as particularly

active at this season. Also called Feile Moingfinne (Snow Goddess). The ScottishGaelic Dictionary defines it as "Hallowtide. The Feast of All Souls. Sam + Fuin =

end of summer." Eliade's Encyclopedia of Religion states as follows: "The Eve andday of Samhain were characterized as a time when the barriers between the human

and supernatural worlds were broken... Not a festival honoring any particular

Celtic deity, Samhain acknowledged the entire spectrum of nonhuman forces that

roamed the earth during that period."Samhain is the Wiccan New Year.
http://www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/the_wheel_of_the_year/mabon_-_autumn_equinox.asphttp://www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/the_wheel_of_the_year/mabon_-_autumn_equinox.asphttp://www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/the_wheel_of_the_year/mabon_-_autumn_equinox.asphttp://www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/the_wheel_of_the_year/mabon_-_autumn_equinox.asphttp://www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/the_wheel_of_the_year/yule_-_winter_solstice.asphttp://www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/the_wheel_of_the_year/yule_-_winter_solstice.asphttp://www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/the_wheel_of_the_year/yule_-_winter_solstice.asphttp://www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/the_wheel_of_the_year/yule_-_winter_solstice.asphttp://www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/the_wheel_of_the_year/mabon_-_autumn_equinox.asphttp://www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/the_wheel_of_the_year/mabon_-_autumn_equinox.asp


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Other Spirituality

Buddhism

Source ;The Basics of Buddhist WisdomDr. C. George BoereeShippensburg University

Buddhism is a religion to about 300 million people around the world. The wordcomes from 'budhi', 'to awaken'. It has its origins about 2,500 years ago when

Siddhartha Gotama, known as the Buddha, was himself awakened (enlightened) atthe age of 35.

Buddhism is becoming popular in western countries for a number of reasons, The

first good reason is Buddhism has answers to many of the problems in modernmaterialistic societies. It also includes (for those who are interested) a deep

understanding of the human mind (and natural therapies) which prominentpsychologists around the world are now discovering to be both very advanced and

effective.

The four Noble Truths1. Life is suffering;2. Suffering is due to attachment;3. Attachment can be overcome;

4. There is a path for accomplishing this.1. Suffering is perhaps the most common translation for the Sanskrit word duhkha,

which can also be translated as imperfect, stressful, or filled with anguish.Contributing to the anguish is anitya -- the fact that all things are impermanent,

including living things like ourselves.

Furthermore, there is the concept of anatman -- literally, "no soul". Anatmanmeans that all things are interconnected and interdependent, so that no thing --

including ourselves -- has a separate existence.2. Attachment is a common translation for the word trishna, which literally meansthirst and is also translated as desire, clinging, greed, craving, or lust. Because we

and the world are imperfect, impermanent, and not separate, we are forever


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"clinging" to things, each other, and ourselves, in a mistaken effort at permanence.

Besides trishna, there is dvesha, which means avoidance or hatred. Hatred is itsown kind of clinging.And finally there is avidya, ignorance or the refusal to see. Not fully understandingthe impermanence of things is what leads us to cling in the first place.

3. Perhaps the most misunderstood term in Buddhism is the one which refers to theovercoming of attachment: nirvana. It literally means "blowing out," but is often

thought to refer to either a Buddhist heaven or complete nothingness. Actually, it

refers to the letting go of clinging, hatred, and ignorance, and the full acceptance ofimperfection, impermanence, and interconnectedness .4. And then there is the path, called dharma. Buddha called it the middle way,

which is understood as meaning the middle way between such competing

philosophies as materialism and idealism, or hedonism and asceticism. This path,

this middle way, is elaborated as the eightfold path.

Suggested reading

BuddhaNet: Buddhist Information Network. (www.buddhanet.net)

Rich site, with a great glossary by Ven. S. Dhammika, and many downloadable

texts of all traditions.The White Path Temple: Shin Buddhism. (www.mew.com/shin/)Many articles and resources regarding the popular Shin tradition.The Buddhist Library (worldtrans.org/CyberSangha/csindex.html)A very large collection of Buddhist texts and commentary.Tricycle: The Buddhist Review. (www.tricycle.com)

A site associated with the magazine Tricycle. Some articles are are available righthere!
http://www.buddhanet.net/http://www.buddhanet.net/http://www.mew.com/shin/http://www.mew.com/shin/http://worldtrans.org/CyberSangha/csindex.htmlhttp://worldtrans.org/CyberSangha/csindex.htmlhttp://www.tricycle.com/http://www.tricycle.com/http://www.tricycle.com/http://worldtrans.org/CyberSangha/csindex.htmlhttp://www.mew.com/shin/http://www.buddhanet.net/


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Purpose

I have also found my purpose in my name. Which is

about serving people, making their lives, and experience

better. Means "dawn" in Latin. Aurora was the Romangoddess of the morning. It has occasionally been used as

a given name since the Renaissance.

Aurore is the French version. Aurora was the mythicalRoman goddess of the dawn. This name became very

popular after Charles Perrault wrote the fairy tale 'TheSleeping Beauty'.

Aurora- Breaking of Day, dawn of a new day, bringinghope. Today people need hope, for without hope

peoples hearts fail, depression sets in, and illness comesin.

How do I serve people today? I do this through writing,

developing support groups, developing informational,

educational blogs. I also have developed a Admin team

in a online community serving over 600 people.I find others of like dreams, and encourage them. I havedone nursing home visitations, served in food banks. I

know I have learned much about myself, and others just

by serving.

I love the song Morning has broken Each day is a

new day to begin again, and serve.


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Purpose ,we all have a purpose. In scriptures Cain asked God if he was his

brothers keeper. The answer is Yes, we are all our brothers, and sisters keeper..There was a touching movie, it was called My Sisters Keeper. It was about

another child who was born really to serve her sister in order to save her life.Serving is costly, and in essence it is giving of yourself. It is costly. It requires

unselfishness. The problem today we live in a ME, Myself, and I world. I call thisthe unholy trinity. What is my purpose in life is a question asked by many people

as they ponder the reasons for their existence. Life is the expression of the Reason

for being. The Reason represents the intelligence that is within all things. Forexample, it is the power within a seed, when planted in the garden, grows step by

step to the fulfilment of its reason for being. Everything has a purpose, a time and a

season. Autumn is a wonderful example of the fulfilment of many plants as weenjoy the abundance of fruits and the real you is your inner purpose. When youtook your first breath of life, you became a living vegetables that are harvested at

this time in the cycles or seasons of life. being. The time of birth determines the

quality of the power within you and reveals your purpose in life.

Leadership

Concepts and Principles

Aurora Dawn 2014

1. What is a Leader?To each of us we will have our own definition. Thus to each of us wemay see one person as a leader, and another not. A leader is more

than someone who has followers. Example; many have a twitter, and

many followers, or a FB, and have many followers. This does not

make someone a leader. Anyone can be anything, and anyone theychoose to be online. A leader has been described as one who is a

guide, like a tour guide, etc. Anyone can learn to give directions.

There is also a difference in manger, and leader. Not all managers areleaders.

What is a Leader?Leadership has been described as "a process of social influence in

which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the


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accomplishment of a common task" A Leader is one who makes a

positive impact, influence on others around them. A Leader is onewho inspires others to achieve goals. A Leader does not have to have

a pulpit, or microphone to influence, or have a great impact. A good

leader is one who is not attention seeking for his or her own glory.A leader is best when people barely know he /she exists, when his

work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves..

2. Types of LeadersThere are various types of leaders, and leadership.

Dictatorial Style

The leader or manager using this style operates like a dictator. He orshe makes all the decisions about what, where, when, why, how things

are done, and who will do them. Employees failing to following

directions are usually severly disciplined or given cause for earlyretirement (as recently happened to a friend of mine).The dictatorial leader traits are: all decision-making power is theirs,

unrealistic in demands, uses excessive discipline and punishment,

does not allow others to question decisions or authorityA more passive style of this is: all decision-making power is theirs,

unrealistic demands clouded in humor, subtle forms of discipline and

Leadership is a process by which a person influences others toaccomplish an objective and directs the organization in a way that

makes it more cohesive and coherent.

Another popular definition of Leadership is a process whereby anindividual influences a group of individuals to achieve a common

goal (Northouse's (2007, p3).

The U.S. military has studied leadership in depth. One of theirdefinitions is a process by which a soldier influences others to

accomplish a mission (U.S. Army, 1983).

punishment, allows questions about decisions (on the surface) but

ignores them, pretends to be your friend only to get their way

Authoritative StyleBecause of the volatile nature of the dictatorial style, more leaders

and managers opt for the authoritative style.The authoritative leader traits are: seldom lets others make decisions,


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feels he/she is the most qualified and experienced, considers his/her

views to be most valid, lacks confidence in others abilities, critical ofdiffering opinions, rarely gives recognition, is easily offended, uses

others for his/her benefit, action oriented, highly comtetitive

The biggst weakness of this style is the failure to recognize the skillsand abilities within other people. They are often denied opportunities

to use or exhibit their skills in decision-making venues.Yet, the greatest strength of this style is to produce action when it is

needed.B Note that all three definitions have one process in commona

person influences others to get something accomplished

The testing of leadership

What is a crucible?

A crucible is a container that can withstand very high temperaturesand is used for metal, glass, and pigment production as well as a

number of modern laboratory processes

It is the fires where gold, and silver are melted, and fashioned.Being a Leader is about having character as well. Character

development is a lifelong process in the crucible. Leaders are not

perfect, but know how to fail and handle it. Leaders are honest.If we are open, teachable, humble, we can choose to allow adversity to

mold us us and fashion us for good, and to become an inspiration.

"Behold I set before you life, and death,Choose life "

Advice from the scriptures. Life must be chosen everyday. What we feed grows,what we starve dies. We can choose positive, or negative, things which promote

life,love,and health,or sickness, and death. It is up to us. WE WERE ALL BORNWITH A GIFT, FREEDOM OF CHOICE.

Nature- Animals

Nature of we listen speaks. If we make time we will hear. Animals, Seasons, Trees,

all have lessons for us if we are open. The seasons teach us there is a time foreverything. There is a saying; " There is a time to play, a

a time to plant, and a time to reap, a time


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to play, and a time to not play, a time to rejoice, and a time for tears

There is a book called, Animals Speak. A very good book by Ted Andrews abouthow animals speak to us, as well as their symbolism. I highly recommend the book.

Here is a view, and teaching of Native Americans regarding the sacredness, andimportance of animals in life. They believe if we are open that animals speak to us,an

d have lessons for us.


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Chapter 8

One of my Dreams ; Why I want to be a Flight Attendant

How many remeber when Pan Am was flying? What about TWA?

How many of you recall the mini series Flying High? Those were the

days.

Yes I was around when Flying High was still on. Some called it the

glory days.It was a privledge to fly.

Flight it is amazing we fly at all. I was thinking this one time in

American Airline's MD-80. I felt was sitting in a silver toothpaste bottle.

It was a full flight. I sat at the aft, widow seat. My love for flying began

as a young child. I was not even 12 when I begged mom to let me fly

from HNL to CLE via ORD. I knew if mom flew, Id never see the

cockpit, or be allowed to talk with the Flight Attendants. LOL. Yea it

was sit down be good, you are not to bother anyone. If I did I knew my

arse was grass. HMM Wonder whats wrong today, no consequences for

children who act up anymore? That is another topic. I love flight, how it

feels taking off, turbulence, landing, and the journey through airports.One of my favorite places to sit as a passenger or PAX as we are called

is by the wing. I enjoy watching the flaps come out etc. I do also

watchevery safety demo just in case, and out of much respect.

Forbid there is an emergency it is funny, all the sudden we wish we

payed attention. Oh do not have me go there. People standing up when

seat belt is on, then oops, bump and OUCHI! Well, see if you were

seated with seat belt fastend you would not have had an OUCHI now.

Ok back to my dream of being a Flight Attendant- aka FA airlinetermonology. Have you ever been on the plane at 40,000 at sunrise or

sunset, it is beautiful. It is truly an office, life the sky. It is hard work,

and many, thousands,and thousands try to get on board, few make it to

FA training, and not everyone makes it to Wing pinning day.


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After 9-11 they became more my heros, as it is true an Flight Attendant

will give their life, to save your life. Each day is not gauranteed they will

be home safe and sound. Yet many, many do this, and love what they

do. They are proud of those wngs. Let me tell you when they say they

earn them, it is no joke, it is truly earned. There is no fasvorites in class,no cheating, no hs drama tolerated.

As I wait to hear from some airlines, I want you to know that this is more than mydream feel it is my purpose. I have been thinking again why, really why do I still af

termany years want to become a professional Flight Attendant. Competition is fierc

e. Manysay the glory is gone. Much of it is, however there is something about thiscareer paththat thousands, upon thousands apply. I also am very aware the Recruite

rs want morethan it is my dream. They know this, and it was theirs too. They want

real answers. Soagain I asked myself truly why?

The rich traditionThe long tradition of the Flight Attendant is something to be prou

d of. Yes muchhas changed over the years. Then again time changes us all. I hones

tly lovereading the history of the Flight Attendant, and Flight.It was sometime in the 1920s that passenger air travel was initiated, and so theneed of having attendants

on board. The very first Flight Attendants were calledCurriers, and they were men,

the sons of those who financed airlines at that time.The First Officer, then copilotwas not only responsible for assisting the Pilot, butto also provide service to the pa

ssengers, serving food, and beverages.

1930s-

United Airlines was I believe the first to hire, train, and provideStewardesses for their cabin service. They were Nurses, RNs. They are known asthe Original Eight.

Their responsibilities included attending to those who becameair sick. Back in thos

e days, the airplanes which were mostly DC-

3, were verynoisy and not as comfortable. Flying was not as safe as it is today. It was alsoconsidered a privilege to fly.

The Lifestyle.The profession of the Flight Attendant is unlike any job, and many will tell you itis truly a lifestyle which requires great flexibility. It is 9-

5 job, not a desk job,many hours on the feet interacting with many, many people fr

om variousbackgrounds, beliefs, and cultures. Each person has various needs. TheFlightAttendant can, and are trained to be many things to many people


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Inspired by Flight Attendants

I was in my teen years inspired by Flight Attendants, and fortunate to have onebefriend me. Long story. My life, my choices however took me on another journey,

and last year I found I still had a dream, a purpose which I believe I amnow ready

to embark onIt is true you cannot just become a Flight Attendant, you must be invited!I do belie

ve we can position ourselves to be invited.I also pray of course for good luck as well. Yes it also takes some good luck as

well. The Airlines are very selective, and each has their own selection methods. I

am today still encouraged by some Flight Attendants from various carriers, and

who have helped me along. One went above, and beyond by allowing me to staywith her, giving me pointers, aiding in my appearance,etc. I am forever grateful.

Some hats the Fllight Attendant wears;

NurseWaitress

Safety Professional

SecurityFirefighter

Entertainer

Juggler

CouncilorNegotiator

and much more.


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My Time in Flight Attendant TrainingI had the privileges of interviewing, and than being invited to FA training. FA justso you know is Flight Attendant. It was for a regional airline. Three weeks of

ground school four days of IOE. It was awesome, met wonderful people, as well as

super instructors.The pace is fas

Documents

Aurora Rising Leaving the Past to Soar