Attraction and Intimacy: Attraction and Intimacy: Liking and Loving OthersLiking and Loving Others

Chapter ElevenChapter Eleven

Friendships

• Proximity– Interaction

• Anticipation of interaction

– Mere exposure• “the tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or

rated more positively after the rater has been repeatedly exposed to them”

Friendships

• Physical attractiveness– Attractiveness and dating– The matching phenomenon

Friendships

• Physical attractiveness (cont.)

– The physical-attractiveness stereotype• What is Beautiful is Good

– Who is attractive?• Social comparison• Those we love

Friendships

• Similarity versus complementarity– Do birds of a feather flock together?– Do opposites attract?

• The complementarity notion

Friendships

• Liking those who like us– Attribution

• Ingratiation

– Self-esteem and attraction– Gaining another’s esteem

Friendships

• Reward Theory of Attraction:– “We like those whose behavior is rewarding to

us or whom we associate with rewarding events” (p. 444)

– Lewicki (1985) - Liking by association

Love

• Common elements– Mutual understanding– Giving and receiving support– Enjoying the loved one’s company

Love

• Passionate love– Styles of love– A theory of passionate love

• The Two-Factor Theory of Emotion (Schacter and Singer , 1962) “Adrenaline make the heart grow fonder.”

– Variations in love• Time and culture

• Gender

Love

• Companionate love– “The affection we feel for those with whom our

lives are deeply intertwined”– Disillusion with passionate love

Maintaining close relationships

• Attachment– Secure– Avoidant– Insecure

• Equity

• Self-disclosure– The Disclosure Reciprocity effect

Ending relationships

• Who divorces?

• The detachment process

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