Attachment and Bonding Considerations for Infant and Toddler Overnights

January 23, 2015Barbara Rila, Ph.D.

Texas AFCC 13th Annual ConferenceFort Worth, Texas

Attachment drives child development

• An attuned parent allows• the child’s needs to be fulfilled, and• helps them develop emotional regulation,• and offers stimulation for learning when the

child is calm and alert.

Discontinuity of attachment interferes with child development.

• Parents may not learn to adequately read the child’s signals of need states, causing agitation to the young child.

• Such a parent will not offer optimal soothing for emotional regulation, also contributing to agitation in the young child.

• The child stays in a stress response, attempting to have needs satisfied and be soothed.

• Learning cannot optimally occur in times of stress, and therefore the development is compromised in the child.

Building attachments to help a young child with a visitation schedule.

• Both parent and child contribute to the attachment relationship. Reciprocity is key.

Parent contributions to attachment

• Attunement to child’s needs and emotional states

• Availability to meet these• Consistency in response to child• Responsivity to child’s cues

Parenting styles

• Authoritarian; ranging from abusive to ‘helicopter’ parenting

• Authoritative; mature, responsive guidance• Casual; ranging from neglectful to laxness in

discipline and expectations

Parent’s preferences

• For the comfort in parenting a particular stage of development

• For tasks of parenting Nurturing Limit setting Playmate Teacher

Child’s contribution to the attachment relationship

• Temperament

Easy Slow to warm up Difficult

Sensory sensitivities and appetites

• Touch• Taste• Aroma• Visual• Sounds• Movement• Body position

Best fit between parent and child should be the primary overnight location in order to

• Protect and build attachment• Protect child development • To help child build additional relationships

throughout the life span

Use an Infant Mental Health Specialist or a Child Development Specialist to

• Evaluate the best parent-child fit• Assist both parents in recognizing the child’s

needs and preferred styles of soothing• Help adapt parenting to meet those needs• Craft plans for visitation

Essentially, parents of young children need to provide:

• Safety• Stability• Security• Stimulation• Sensitivity