Assertiveness Skills 140506223631 Phpapp01 1

7/24/2019 Assertiveness Skills 140506223631 Phpapp01 1

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Assertiveness Skills

Copyright 2008 - 2012managementstudyguide.com. All


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earning !"#ectives

What is

AssertivenessThe Need for

Assertiveness

Understanding

Behavior PatternsSelf Evaluation

Skills for

Assertiveness

Art of

Saying NO

Assertiveness

for Effective

o!!unication

Action Plan for

a Ne" Assertive

#ou



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#ou can not fi$ the "hole

"orld %ut you can hel& a

s!all &art of it

#ou can assert yourself

in an area "orth"hileto you

Assertiveness

'

The (iddle

)round

%et"een %einga

Bully and a

*oor!at

C

opyright 2008 - 2012managementstudyguide.com. All


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$hat is Assertiveness %

Con&irming con&idently' positively.(o de&end one)s rights or opinions'sometimes with unnecessary*eal+..

ha!%ers *ictionary

,pressing opinions

or desires strongly and

with con&idence so that

people take notice..+.

O$ford Advanced

+earners *ictionary



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$hat is Assertiveness %

An honest' direct' and

appropriate epression o&

ones &eelings' thoughts'and "elie&s

Assertiveness is the a"ilityto communicate yourneeds' &eelings' opinions'and "elie&s in an open andhonest manner withoutviolating the rights o& others



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Assertiveness is /!(+

A guaranteed

way to win every

argument

A guaranteed

$ay to get

what you want

A way to getothers to &eel

like you &eel

or think like

you think

(elling everyone

everything all the

time



7/68www.managementstudyguide.com

Assertiveness involves

Saying yes when you wantto' and saying no when you

mean norather than agreeing

to do something #ust to pleasesomeone else3

4eciding on' and sticking to'

clear "oundaries 5 "eing

happy to de&end your position'

even i& it provokes con&lict and

"eing con&ident a"out handling

con&lict i& it occurs




ssertiveness involves

6nderstanding how to negotiate i& two people want di&&erentoutcomes

6nderstanding how to negotiate i& two people

want di&&erent outcomes

6nderstanding how to negotiate i& two people

want di&&erent outcomes

7aving a positive' optimistic outlook




What Assertiveness doesnot Involve

Assertiveness is

not aggressiveness

or sel&ishness

eing assertive

does not involvehumiliating or

a"using other

people

eing assertive

does not mean

violating the

9ights o& others




earning !"#ectives

What is


Assertiveness

Understanding


Skills for

Assertiveness

Art of

Saying NO

Assertiveness

for Effective

o!!unication

Action Plan for

a Ne" Assertive

#ou




he /eed &or Assertiveness

Win

+ose

Stake

haos

ontrol Order

+oss

Profit

,nvest

(he way we

communicate with

others and with

ourselves

ultimatelydetermines the

:uality o& our lives.;

~Anthony

Robbins

9elationships

slowly disintegrate'

one &ailed or

missing

conversation at a

time.;

-Susan Scott

+the meek do

not inherit the

,arth' they serve

those who are

sel&-con&ident and

sel&-assertive.

-Dean Koontz




/eed &or Assertiveness

+oss

+ack of assertiveness leads to

*e&ression.

&eeling helpless

with no control

over your li&e

/esent!ent.

anger at others

&or taking

advantage o& you

0rustration.

why did < let

that happen

Te!&er.

i& you cant epress

anger appropriately

it can "uild up to

temper out"ursts

An$iety.

you may avoid

certain situations

which make you

&eel uncom&orta"le

/elationshi&s.

when individuals

cant tell each

other what they

want

Stress.

stress can have

a negative impact

on the "ody




ene&its o& eing Assertive

=ropels your career

7elps have "etter

relations with others

9educes stress

>inimi*esany unpleasantness

>akes you &eel

"etter a"out yoursel&

?aults you into leadership

position

A"le to adapt to changing

social and pro&essional

environments

@reedom &rom guilt

conscience as you

know that you are right




earning !"#ectives

What is


Assertiveness

Understanding


Skills for

Assertiveness

Art of

Saying NO

Assertiveness

for Effective

o!!unication

Action Plan for

a Ne" Assertive

#ou




nderstanding ehavior =atterns

=assive

Su"missiveAggressive Assertive

1 Basic Ty&es




assive ehavior Symptoms

Passive

9eluctantto epress own opinions'

and &eelings

!&ten &eels used "y others

9e&rains &rom complaining

@inds it di&&icult to re&use the

re:uests o& others

Ac:uiesces in the views and

desires o& the ma#ority



assive ehavior 9easons

@ear o& re#ection

@ear o& upsetting others

@eeling responsi"le



gressive ehavior

mptoms

Aggressive

@re:uently argues with others

@re:uently gets angry

,asily and &re:uently &inds &ault with

others

/o di&&iculty in complaining whenreceiving poor :uality

,pects others to accommodate

own schedules

Continually works to personal

agendas at others epense

9arely &eels aware o& the needs or

&eelings o& othersCopyright 2008 - 2012managementstudyguide.com. All

i h i


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gressive ehavior

easons

4isregard the

needs o& others

(hink as superior "eings

Childhood emotional

trauma

!ver-correction o& "eing

too passive

Aggressive /easons

Satis&ying their own needs


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assertive

A"le to epress desires and

&eelings

A"le to converse and work well withpeople

A"le to disagree with others

respect&ully

Aware o& the needs and desires o&

others

A"le to make concessions to others

A"le to epress a concern or a

need

A"le to re&use a re:uest without

&eeling guilty

ssertive ehavior Symptoms



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Comparison

Passive Assertive Aggressive

Style /ot epressing needs

Sel&-devaluing

$aiting to "e led

7onest' open' direct

9ecognises own rights

istens to others)needs

4omineering' insisting

$in lose

/ot listening

Non'ver%al%ehaviour

Small posture

Buiet' hesitant voice

ittle eye contact

6pright' "alanced pose

@irm' clear voice

Steady eye contact


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ansactional Analysis

, a!

O2

#ou3re

O2

, a!

Not O2

#ou3re

Not O2

Assertive

PassivePassive4

Aggressive

Aggressive



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earning !"#ectives

What is


Assertiveness

Understanding


Skills for

Assertiveness

Art of

Saying NO

Assertiveness

for Effective

o!!unication

Action Plan for

a Ne" Assertive

#ou


l ti l&


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aluating oursel&

sertiveness (est

.1. Can you epress negative &eelings a"out other people

and their "ehaviors without using a"usive language%

2. Are you a"le to eercise and epress your strengths%

D. Can you easily recogni*e and compliment other

people)s achievements%

E. 4o you have the con&idence to ask &or what is

right&ully yours%


l ti l&


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aluating oursel&

sertiveness (est

.F. Can you accept criticism without "eing de&ensive%

G.4o you &eel com&orta"le accepting compliments%

H. Are you a"le to stand up &or your rights%

8. Are you a"le to re&use unreasona"le re:uests &rom

&riends' &amily' or co-workers%


l ti l&


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aluating oursel&

sertiveness (est

.I. Can you com&orta"ly start and carry on a conversation

with others%

10. 4o you ask &or assistance when you need it%


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aluating oursel&

on Assertiveness (est

.1. 4o you "uy things you do not want "ecause you are

a&raid to say no to the salesperson%

2. $hen you do not understand the meaning o& a word'do you ask a"out it%

D. 4o you &eel responsi"le when things go wrong' even

i& it is not your &ault%

E. 4o you look directly at others when you talk to them%


aluating oursel&


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aluating oursel&

on Assertiveness (est

.F. 4o you o&ten tet or email someone a"out a con&lict

instead o& talking to them &ace to &ace%

G. 4o you &eel intimidated "y people in authority%

H. 4o you generally have a poor and clumsy posture%

8. 4o you o&ten &eel so angry you could scream%


aluating oursel&


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aluating oursel&

sertiveness (est

.I. 4o you &eel dependant when asking &or help &rom

others%

10.


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Jnow our asic 9ights

(owant

(o&eel

(oe-press(osay/o

(omistakes(o

"eangry(ocompen

sation(odecide

(ochangemind

To Assert


i !"# i


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earning !"#ectives

What is


Assertiveness

Understanding


Skills for

Assertiveness

Art of

Saying NO

Assertiveness

for Effective

o!!unication

Action Plan for

a Ne" Assertive

#ou



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Skills &or Assertiveness

Afrmations Techni5ues


+i%eration ycle of


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+i%eration ycle of

Assertiveness

Assertiveness Cycle

=!S


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=ositive

a&&irmations

give hope

Lain sel&-

con&idence

ecome your

own person

Cast o&& the

limitations

etter &or

our mental

well-"eing

wer o& A&&irmations


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irmations &or $ork

< am a competent and con&ident person

< am an attractive and interesting person

=eople listen to what < have to say

At meetings < make a signi&icant contri"ution

< am independent o& the approval o& others

< can always &ind opportunities in situations o& change

< am creating my desired &uture

Some o& these

a&&irmations may

appeal' others

may not.

4evelop a set &or

yoursel&



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irmations &or i&e

< am what < am

< am at one with mysel& and my world

< respect mysel& and all living things


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kills &or Assertiveness

1Driving Force 1

4,SC 4escri"e' ,press'Speci&y' Clari&y3

roken record

@ogging

/egative in:uiry

/egative assertion

< statements

4isagreeing grace&ully


4,SC


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S

4,SC

*escri%ethe actionsor "ehaviour that you

see as taking place

E$&resswhy that

"ehaviour is an issue

S&ecifythe resulting

actions or change o&

"ehaviour you would

like to e&&ect

larifythe conse:uences &or

&ailing to change "ehaviour or

meet demands

E

D


k 9 d


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ken 9ecord

Broken/ecord

1. 9epeat yoursel& again andagain and again' until the person

gives in or concedes to your demands.

2. >ost people capitulate a&ter

you repeat yoursel& three times.

Broken record is &articularly useful "hen. 4ealing with those in authority ou are not getting what you are entitled to 4ealing with people "righter or more &luent than you (he other person is likely to use put-downs

Because you 6ust have to re&eat yourself7broken record is really easy to use8


roken record


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roken record

,KA>=,

#ou.M(he program was not up to standard'

and we did not cover all the elements said

in the "rochure so < want a re&und.)

/e&ly.M!ther people have not complained'

in &act some o& the evaluations are ecellent.)

#ou.M(hey might "e' "ut < want a re&und

"ecause the work was not up to standard.)

/e&ly.


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ogging

0ogging

1. @ogging is use&ul when

someone is putting pressure

on you to do something

2. (hus your response to the

re:uest is to put up a &og

isten to what the person says' and decide

whether or not you wish to comply.


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ative ,n:uiry

NegativeEn5uiry

,n:uiry is real &un.

ou invite etra criticism andor

eamples so that you have the

"ene&it o& additional &eed"ack.

ACC6SA(

Youre stupid

Youre selfish

9,= M!h really' in what way%) MAlways% 7ow do youknow that &or a &act%) M>y understanding may

"e di&&erent &rom yours'

what eactly do you mean

"y that%) MCan you eplain why

this particular instance

has caused you to

"rand me with

such a

la"el%)Copyright 2008 - 2012managementstudyguide.com. All

ative Assertion


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ative Assertion

Negative Assertion

1. $hen people call us names'

or give us negative la"els' we usuallywish to de&end ourselves

2. Aggressive or manipulative people who

do this to us soon &ind our weak spots.

D. /egative assertion is like #u#itsu where you

use the power o& your protagonist to turn the

situation to your advantageE. /o one is per&ect' so in negative assertion

All you do is accept the part o& the that is true'

in a matter o& &act way

+ook at the e$a!&les.

If you think that! you must be stupid

ouN M< admit


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Statements

, State!ents 1. M


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O M< get the impression you are notinterested)

O M< have the &eeling you don)t want myideas)

O M< think you are ignoring me)

(hese statements are power&ul"ecause you)re descri"ing yourinterpretation o& a situation' not

#ust the situation itsel&.

M< have "een asked to work latethree times this week)O M< see that < have "een passed over

&or promotion again)

O M< notice that you have not spoken to

me &or three days)

Situation statements are power&ul

"ecause they are &actual and' as an

o"servation on

your part' they are non-negotia"le.

O M< want you to pay attention)

O M< want your &ull co-operation)

O M< want you to "e on time)

(he strength o& these statements is

that they let the other person know

your eact

position and what you epect.

O M< &eel "etrayed)O M< &eel taken advantage o&)

O M< &eel angry' disappointed'

cross' annoyed)

(his is not a"out &eelings' "ut

really a way to epress your

opinion more strongly. Again'

these statements are power&ul

"ecause they are non-

negotia"le or irre&uta"le.

O M< want you to pay attention)

O M< want your &ull co-operation)

O M< want you to "e on time)

(he strength o& these

statements is that they let the

other person know your eact

position and what you epect.

< Statements


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,nter&retation.

M< think you are

trying to do as

little as possi"le

without me)

0utureAction. M< amgoing toreport you i&

you do thisagain)

Want.MSo < wantyou to dowhat < askeven i&


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4isagreeing Lrace&ully

*isagreeing)racefully

1. !ccasionally there will

"e disagreements

2. Ac:uiescing or' the opposite'

attacking' are not constructive

responses.

@ollowing a simple step-"y-step process will help

you put your case without getting emotional'losing your integrity or losing your respect &or the

other person.The Process

1. A&&irmative Statement

2. So&tening Statement

D.


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(his is simply saying M,S).


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4isagreeing Lrace&ully

*isagreeing)racefully

Affirmative :8 9#es3

Softening ;. M< can :uite understand why you would like

me to stay in and keepyou company as < have done the last three Saturdays)

Indicate 18Met me eplain why tonight is so important to

me)

State ac"eth "ecause it has

had ecellent reviews and i& < don)t see it tonight < will

miss it)Disagree =8MSo < have decided that < am going to go out)

$ompromise G. Mut < am more than happy to keep you

company tomorrow.)

E>A(P+ESPosition. 9, don3t think you

should go out tonight3

Copyright 2008 - 2012

managementstudyguide.com. All

earning !"#ectives


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earning !"#ectives

What is


Assertiveness

Understanding


Skills for

Assertiveness

Art ofSaying NO

Assertivenessfor Effective

o!!unication

Action Plan fora Ne" Assertive

#ou



h A & S i /!;


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he Art o& Saying /!;

Say

NO

Passive NO5 accompanied "y

weak ecuses and

rationali*ations.

Aggressive NO - 4one with

contempt

Assertive NO ' is simple anddirect



either /ice /or /asty;


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either /ice /or /asty

4o < really want this or am < pleasing someone else%

$hat is the "ene&it to me o& saying Myes)%


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ur Steps (o Saying /o;

.isten to the re:uest - >ake sure you understand the re:uest

completely "e&ore coming to a hasty conclusion. Clari&y i& needed.

Say no immediately - ou do not need to #usti&y your decision.


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4o /ot @eel

shy. >ost

people hesitate

to say /!.

Start your

sentence with

a /!

6se an

empathetic

response.

Ask time to

(hink it over;

Stay resolved

not let "eing

pushed over.

actical (ips &or Saying /!;

/ever say es

when you want

to say else you

will resent and

repent what

you agreed to

do.

@ust Say NO

When #ou

Want TO



ody language while saying /!


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ody language while saying /!

Shake your

head no;

when yousay /!.

/ever smile

when saying

/!' it weakensthe message.

Avoid nods

and Aha s

when a"outto say /!.

Stand up i&

other person

is up to make

level eye

contact while

saying /!.

=reempt your /!

when you sense

un#usti&ied

"urden

is heading

your way.

Practical Ti&s for everyone



er Assertive $ords


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er Assertive $ords

Thank #ouM(hank you) is an interesting

phrase. $e are "rought up

to say Mplease) when we want

something. ut' i& we say

Mplease) we are asking the

person &or something..

(he Mthank you) "ecomes assumptive.


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er Assertive $ords

,f

(he con#unction Mi&) is eceptionally

power&ul when you want to make a

concession or give something away.

(he Mi&) acts as a piece o& elastic with

which you can pull "ack the concession'

i& you don)t get what you want.


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ther Assertive $ords

When

(his is another con#unction which is the

same as i&) when you make it conditional.


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earning !"#ectives

What is


Assertiveness

Understanding


Skills for

Assertiveness

Art ofSaying NO


o!!unication


#ou



Assertiveness Skills &or etter


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)enuine

Assertive7

NonAggressiv

e

WellThought

out

0act

%asedRespec

tul

Assertiveness Skills &or etter

Communication

Ele!ents of

Effective

o!!unication



/on ?er"al Aspects o&


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pAssertiveness

Eye ontact

-=assive uses

very little

-Aggressive

never drops

eye contact

-Assertiveperson uses

a"out F0 T o&

the time

Voice one

-/on Assertive

N (oo So&t'

7ard to hear

-AggressiveN

(oo oud

-AssertiveNe&&ective tone

modulation

Posture

-=assiveN @old

in themselves

and make

small &idgets.

-AggressiveN

Con&ront andstand up.

AssertiveN

Stand up tall

straight.

Position and

S&ace

-9espect

keeping on the

same level.

-Sit down i& the

other is.

-Stand upwhen the other

is.

-keep arms

distance

0acial

E$&ression

-@ace should

re&lect the

emotion "eing

epressed.

-< am Angry;

needs seriousepression.

4elighted;

needs a happy

epression



on ?er"al Assertiveness


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on ?er"al Assertiveness)estures.

Notice these )estures "hile interacting

7ands on hipsN Aggressive

/odding head N es

=ointing with a pen in aaggressive gesture

=ointing with a pen in a

aggressive gesture

Clinching &ist

Shaking 7ead N /!Copyright 2008 - 2012


r"al Assertive


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ommunication

/estate!entN

Say "ack to the pother

person what you have

heard him or her say.

/eflection.


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Communication

Soft

Assertion

(his is a kind o&

statement that

does not re:uire

anything o& the

listener.

- A (-Shirt with

Save $hales;

written on it doesnot demand any

action &rom you "ut

lets you know the

stand o& the person

wearing it.

Basic

Assertion

(his is more o& a

simple statement

conveying what you

want out o& a

situation. Simplicity

remains the key to

this kind o&

assertion.- < don)t want to go

to the movie this

weekend;

E!&athetic

Assertion

(his is the most

e&&ective type o&

assertion one can

make.


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p g p y y/egative Assertion

A negative assertion is essentially acce&ting the res&onsi%ility

of a !istake that has %een co!!itted8

$hen Leorge

$ashington

said


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earning !"#ectives

What is


Assertiveness

Understanding


Skills for

Assertiveness

Art ofSaying NO


o!!unication


#ou



10 Step Action =lan


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:B

Ste& :. (aintain /ecord >aintain a log o& all your

a&&irmations' goals'

am"itions' rights'

achievements etc 9ead and update this

record re ularl .

Ste& ; . ,ns&iration for!

,dols 9ead up on all your heroes U

idols. >ake a list o& values'

a&&irmations and attitudes to

ins ire ou to &ollow.

Ste&


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!eAsserti

ve

Documents

Assertiveness Skills 140506223631 Phpapp01 1