#asexyACPA Presented by: Amanda Mollet @AmandaMollet University of Iowa Brian Lackman @BrianRLackman Davidson College

#asexyACPAPresented by:

Consider AwarenessIdentity Development &

Identity Salience forAsexual Students

Amanda Mollet@AmandaMolletUniversity of Iowa

Brian Lackman@BrianRLackmanDavidson College

Ground Rules• Trigger Warning• Listen actively -- respect others when they are talking.• Be okay with discomfort.• Speak from your own experience instead of generalizing ("I" instead

of "they," "we," and "you").• Participate to the fullest of your ability.• Instead of invalidating somebody else's story with your own spin on

their experience, share your own story and experience.• If you don’t understand something please ask questions.• Be conscious of body language and nonverbal responses.• Take stories with you but not names.

Literature Review

• Kinsey (1948, 1953)• Post 2000 Research• Asexuality Visibility Education Network (AVEN)

and online communities

Methods & Sample Overview

• Exploratory Study• Instrument Design• QUAL + quant• Sampling Full-Time Students 85.30%

Two-year College 13.00%Age 18-22 77.90%Age 23-28 18.10%Non-white 13.80%Religious 34.60%n= 581

Participant Locations

Religion & AsexualityPrevious Studies vs. Our Studies•Only 34% of our participants identified as being religious/spiritual

“In the Muslim orthodoxy, celibacy is considered unnatural, and people shouldn't repress sexual desire. So marriage is strongly encouraged. I would like to get married, but I would like someone who is both Muslim and asexual, which is a very tiny pool to choose from here in the US.”

“There is a lot of sexual behavior and conversation on campus. I'm always uncomfortable with people hitting on me, because I don't fully understand flirting or sexual attraction. Most of the time I'm completely oblivious when people flirt with me...it just seems like the person is being invasive/acting strangely. It is only after analyzing the situation later that I can recognize what was actually going on. I tend to stay away from conversations where people discuss sex, as I have no experience, so a lot of people are under the impression that I am either very religious or a prude.”

Asexuality* is a spectrum

Aromantic GrayromanticDemisexual

HeteroromanticHomoromantic

BiromanticPanromantic

SPECTRUM OF ASEXUALITY

SPECTRUM OF (allo)SEXUALITY

Exclusively heterosexual

Exclusively homosexual

Equally hetero- and homosexual

Kinsey (1948, 1953)

Understanding Sexual & Romantic Identity

Participants Self-Identified Definitions“Being asexual to me means being able to realize that by not wanting sex...LIKE never in my life, I am not broken, that this is normal and that there are others who are like me. It gives me a place to claim and to allow my friends and family to understand why I'm not into certain things that other people in their 20's usually are.”

“It means a priority on emotional intimacy over sexual intimacy so strongly that I have virtually no sexual intimacy needs when in an emotionally close relationship. I prefer to masturbate alone than to have actual sex with partners, even if in an emotionally-intimate relationship. It does not mean I have no physical intimacy needs -- I need my hands to be held, or a hug, at times. It also means loneliness due to lack of coupling as others do, but also, freedom due to not needing to operate in relationship the way others do.”

Participants Self-Identified Definitions

More Than A LabelWhy Students Claim Asexuality*

“When I came across people talking about asexuality online, it was like they had put into words everything that I had not been able to in my head because of my lack of vocabulary/labels/language on the subject. It was like they were able to look into my head and sort out the confused, jumbled up mess. I finally had a way to make sense of how I was feeling, and everything in my head realigned itself, with all of the pieces falling in place.”

Claiming Asexuality

…claimed asexuality

more than a year after

learning about the identity.

24%…claimed asexuality

between 6-12 months after


12%…claim

asexuality within one month of


44%…of

participants became aware of asexuality

utilizing technological

means.

82%

Challenges of Being Asexual

Lack of Awareness About Asexuality“At the beginning of class, we anonymously submitted sexual facts about ourselves which the professor read aloud. I had said I'm asexual, will probably be a virgin for life, and think porn is far more hilarious than arousing. Several students snickered, as if that was preposterous, some muttered "What the fuck…" and the professor had said "Wow, I hope this person changes their mind…".


Coming Out“Sometimes it can be kind of hard to "come out" because often people don't know what asexuality is, so there are often a lot of questions and that can compound the stress of coming out in the first place.”

“I come from an immigrant family. I already suffer from feeling lack of belonging. I think I hold back on being 'out' because I fear being alienated even more than I am, and the thought of that alone makes me feel highly anxious and sad, and a little panicky.”

Sexual Exploration“After years of refusing sex …I finally gave in to his incessant nagging of need for sex. First session was horrible…Later attempts did not increase my libido, nor make sex anymore enjoyable...Even with two other experienced sex-perts, toys, different position, etc. were of no help. So after two years of trying to "fix" myself, I decided it is a orientation that cannot be changed.”


Challenges of being asexualMental Health

“I used to have panic attacks about how my asexual identity would make it impossible for me to be happy, accepted, or find a romantic partner in a world where most people either don't know about asexuality or respond negatively or dismissively, and asexuals are few and far between... I have literally had on and off panic attacks that have lasted three days over my asexual identity. I questioned whether it would be worth living in a world where I'd probably end up alone and unloved…”

Challenges of Being AsexualBroken“[The hardest part about asexuality is] Figuring it out. When you spend most of your life believing you're straight, and that everyone must experience 'straightness' in the way I thought I was, it was difficult to know what sexual attraction actually is.”

“...When I started university I was not even aware of asexuality so I felt even more like I was an outsider or something in me was broken, when people were determined to set me up with someone on a night out, or determined to get someone’s number so I could go on a date with them, and usually ended up with me getting very very drunk and kissing someone just to try and feel included and normal, I figured the more I got with people surely eventually I would feel something...Thankfully I discovered asexuality and realised this wasn't the case, and since then I have stopped attending events where I felt like I had to get horrendously drunk and kiss someone just to fit in.”

Challenges of Being AsexualTrying to be fixed“On two occasions men have told me that they would "make" me a heterosexual. It's scary.”

“No counselor, especially after I was raped which resulted after the person became aware of my asexual identity and tried to "fix" me. Even Women's Resource Center, SHAC counseling, and QRC offered no support and my GPA went from 4.0 to 2.7... lowest in my life! Now I can't get scholarship based on GPA and endangers my enrollment for master's program. Practically it has ruined my academic career…as I could not function at healthy mental state”.

What’s working—positive experiences & support

Online communities“I initially joined the Giant in the Playground internet forum

for its D&D community. I later found the LGBTA+ thread there and have been posting on and off for the last...four years, I think. I'm also "out" to my friends. I have posted on AVEN at times, but I don't generally like the community there.”


Academic Experiences

“I…[came] out to my classmates by giving them an informative presentation on asexuality, which turned out wonderfully. They were understanding, respectful, and several of them thanked me for the information, saying it was very interesting and something they would have never thought about.”


Community Experiences

“I recently came out to my psychiatrist after I'd found out that staff at the student health center had been educated about asexuality.”


If students perceive their residence hall climate as accepting/comfortable they are more likely to find their overall campus climate accepting/comfortableThere were no other statistically significant differences that impacted campus climate (Greek Life, athletics, religious experiences, etc.) beyond their experience in the Residence Hall

“...I have been very lucky with my college sport team wheras I was not in highschool. College dorms can be difficult for asexuals because of the high stress towards sex in communal living settings.”

“I am a Resident Advisor in the dorm so I have been able to set the example so everyone is inclusive. “


Programming“A more powerful ace awareness week on campus. All we had this year were a few Facebook posts. I wish more knowledge was spread about asexuality on campus.”

“I am a part of an ace/aro/grey/demi community on campus. We spend most of our time watching non-sexual movies, and another significant portion talking about the communtiy, or anything that interests us. It’s important to me to be part of a community where I know I’m not judged or expected to be any one thing.”


Acknowledging Asexuality“The main reason I don't think my campus is supportive is because asexual students are never acknowledged. Usually in the classroom, sexuality is discussed in a very generalizing way by professors and students, as if every adult can relate to feeling sexual attraction. Around campus, there are always notices for events and pamphlets about safer sex...There are no events discussing asexuality. There are times, however, I feel asexual students would be accepted if they were talked about.”

“...Having no in-person support group for asexuality often makes me feel uncomfortable or like I don't really belong... “

LGBTQIA?

Asexuality within LGBTQ+“Strangely, much of the pushback I’ve experienced has been from the LGBT community. Some within that community are very resistant to acknowledging the existence of asexuals and demisexuals. They seem to think it’s simply a way to get attention, and they have been fairly hostile at times, as if asexuals are trying to take away from, or diminish, the LGBT movement.”

LGBTQIA?

51%…have a non-

queer romantic identity.

…believe asexuality

should be in the LGBTQ

community.

…personally identify with

the LGBTQ community.

63%88% 10%…have utilized

a campus or community

LGBTQ+ center as a resource.

LGBTQIA? “If the LGBTQ+ community is meant to be a safe space for those alienated by cisheteronormative society, asexuality definitely belongs. I'm frightened, though, of being in larger LGBT+ spaces- for example, my university's pride network. I attend, but I don't know if I'm there as an ally or as someone who is LGBT+.”

“I am a part as LGBTQ* community as a gender fluid person who preferes "same sex" and non-binary partners, and I do understand my asexuality as a part of my queer experience. I am not sure I would see it the same way if I was cis and heteroromantic or aromantic.”

Checking In

• How are you feeling?• What thoughts do you have?• What questions do you have?

Considerations

–What would you consider now based on what you’ve heard today?• Resources• Awareness & Support

Our Considerations• Where to House Resources– Health Education– LGBTQIA – Safe Zone/Space Programs

• Student Spaces– Student Organizations– Residence Halls

• Raise Awareness/Visibility– Trainings– Counselor Trainings– Support Groups

ReferencesBogaert, A. F. (2012). Understanding Asexuality. Lanham, MD : Rowman & Littlefield Publishers.Chasin, C. D. (2011). Theoretical issues in the study of asexuality. Archives of Sexual Behavior; 40, 713-723. Decker, J. S. (2014). The Invisible Orientation. New York, NY: Carrel Books. Glaser, B. G., & Strauss, A. L. (1967). The discovery of Grounded Theory: Strategies for qualitative research. New York: Aldine DeGruyter.Hinderliter, A. C. (2009). Methodological issues for studying asexuality. Archives of Sexual Behavior; 38, 619-621.Kinsey, Alfred C. et al. (1948). Sexual behavior in the human male. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders; Bloomington, IN: Indiana U. Press. Kinsey, Alfred C. et al. (1953). Sexual behavior in the human female. Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders; Bloomington, IN: Indiana U. Press. Milligan, M. S., & Aldred H. N. (2001). The Myth of Asexuality: A Survey of Social and Empirical Evidence. Sexuality and Disability, 19(2), 91-109.Pacho, A. (2013). Establishing Asexual Identity: The Essential, the Imaginary, and the Collective. Graduate Journal of Social Science, 10:1, 13-35. Przyblo E. (2011). Crisis and Safety: The asexual in sexusociety. Sexualities,14(4), 444-461.Sandelowski, M. (2000). Combining qualitative and quantitative sampling, data collection, and analysis techniques in mixed-method studies. Research in Nursing and Health, 23, 246-255. Scherrer, K. S. (2008). Coming to an asexual identity: negotiating identity, negotiating desire. Sexualities, 11, 621-641. Van Houdenhove, E., Gijs, L., T’Sjoen, G., & Enzlin, P. (2014). Asexuality: Few facts, many questions. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 40:3, 175-192.

#asexyACPA

Amanda Mollet@AmandaMolletUniversity of Iowa

[email protected] Lackman

@BrianRLackmanDavidson College

[email protected]

Documents

#asexyACPA Presented by: Amanda Mollet @AmandaMollet University of Iowa Brian Lackman @BrianRLackman Davidson College