Arun Jaitley and the Bean Stalk

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    Once upon a time, there lived a boy named Arun who had a gift of gab and a pond named Placid Green.

    Placid Green gave lotuses every morning which he carried to the market and sold. But one season, Placid

    Green gave no lotuses and Arun Jaitley, as that was his full name, didnt know what to do.

    He was really worried now.

    What shall I do to survive?

    It was the question that gave him sleepless nights. He decided to sell the pond, his only source of

    livelihood as he was in dire straits. He immediately rung Sothebys and after a few days an Auction was

    held to sell Placid Green.

    There were quite a few bidders. And they were also offering him decent sum, but there was this funny

    old guy named L.K. Advani who was offering him some strange-looking beans. He had to say, he was

    enamored by them. But one doesnt sell Placid Green for paltry amount of beans, right?

    But L.K. Advani said, These are magical beans. If you plant them overnight, by morning they grow right

    upto the sky.

    But whats the point oftheir reaching the sky? asked young Arun eagerly.

    Up there, lives a Giant named Manmohan Singh. Our land has long been dwarfed under his ineffectual

    regime. You can go and shake things up, advised L.K. Advani, with a faint smile on his face.

    Arun sold his lake to L.K. Advani immediately.

    But as he was planting the beans, he started having doubts. What if the old guy had cheated him? Whatif these were just some strange looking beans and did not possess any magical properties.

    The doubt soon turned to a certainty, and he cursed himself for being a dolt. Frustrated he went to

    sleep.

    When he woke up, the room looked so funny. The sun was shining into part of it, and yet all the rest was

    quite dark and shady. So Arun jumped up and dressed himself and went to the window. And what do

    you think he saw? Why, the beans he had planted had sprung up into a big beanstalk which went up and

    up and up till it reached the sky. So the man spoke truth after all.

    The beanstalk grew up quite close past Aruns window, so all he had to do was to open it and give a

    jump on to the beanstalk which was made like a big plaited ladder. So Jack climbed and he climbed and

    he climbed and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed till at last he reached the sky.

    And when he got there he found a long broad road going as straight as a dart. So he walked along and

    he walked along and he walked along till he came to a great big tall house, and on the doorstep there

    was a great big tall woman.

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    Arun went up to her and said with a polite-like face, Maam, I want power. It is my dream to rule over

    the whole expanse of this noble land.

    The lady had a stern expression on her face. She roared angrily, Do you know who I am? I am Sonia

    Gandhi, the puppeteer of this whole gig. Do you think I am going to give up my position so easily?

    Soldiers, take this rude man to our Head Giant, His Tallness, Manmohan Singh.

    Two firm hands gripped him from either side, with a blindfold tied on his eyes, he was carried off to the

    palace where this Head-Giant lived.

    When the blindfold was undone from his eyes, he saw a man of gigantic proportions, with a very somber

    expression on his face. (He strangely remembered The Thinker by Auguste Rodin.)

    What is his crime? the Head Giant asked gravely.

    He wants power, one soldier uttered, eager to impress.

    On hearing this, the Head Giant roared with laughter, Power indeed. I possess none, young man.

    I knowthat. Back on earth they call you ineffectual, is it true?

    A shayari comes to my mind

    Arun heard the soldiers groan around him. One of them muttered in an undertone, God, end this

    agony. The other replied to him, Resistance is useless.

    After what seemed to be an eternity, the shayari ended. By that time, his ears were completely numb.

    There was this Minor Giant who was watching all of this. Once the Head Giant retired from his durbar,

    he ordered the soldiers to let Arun go.

    It seems that he was punished amply, he said.

    Arun was thankful to him. Thank you sir, he said. Can I know your good name please?

    Rahul Gandhi, said the Minor Giant, winking his eyes.

    Soon enough, he clambered down the beanstalk. He knew what he had to do.

    Media (Providing the Centre Stage) + Arvind Kejriwal (Distracter) + Narendra Modi (Force to reckon

    with) + Arun Jaitley (Gift of Gab) = Ousted Manmohan Singh (A bad singer!)

    He would climb again in 2014.

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