Appreciative Living Learning Circlesappreciativeliving.com/files/Week_1_-_AL_Learning_Circles_Ver_1_0.p… · Week 1: Appreciative Living Learning Circles Agenda Start Time Stop Time

Appreciative Living Learning Circles

By Jackie Kelm (800) 214‐0959 or (919) 488‐2862

Email: [email protected] www.AppreciativeLiving.com

Feb. 6, 2009

Version 1.0

Table of Contents

Vision & Purpose……………………….………………….…………… 2 Considerations in Organizing Learning Circles ………….. 3 Facilitating the Circles ……………………………………………… 4 Location Considerations & Ideas ……………………………… 5

Design for Week 1 Agenda……………………………………………………..……… 6

Opening Statement ………………………………….……… 7 Operating Guidelines & Roles ……………….………… 8 Overview of Appreciative Living ………………..….… 10 The Guiding Principles of Appreciative Living ….. 12 Appreciative Living 3‐Step Model …………………... 13 Exercise …………………………………………….……………. 14 Commitment for Next Week …………………………... 15 Learning Circle Valuation ………………………………... 16

Appreciative Living Learning Circle Valuation (done at end of 4 weeks) ……………………………………….…. 17

_____________________________________________________________________________________________ ©2009 Appreciative Living, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free series on “Getting Started with Appreciative Living,” and how you can start your own learning circle. DRAFT VER 1.0 1

http://www.appreciativeliving.com/

Vision & Purpose

Appreciative Living Learning Circles

Vision

Entire families, communities, and organizations positively shift from the Appreciative Living learning circles as individuals take the practices into their lives. It is like droplets of water falling on a pond: As one person finds more joy it ripples out to affect all those around. More droplets form as more people get involved until the whole world is rippling & sparkling with joy. It is heartwarming to see people all over the globe facilitating small groups in their homes, businesses, churches, community centers, and other gathering places. In their own voices with their own words and languages, they share the principles and practices of Appreciative Living in personal and meaningful ways that speak to all who have gathered. Everyone benefits tremendously in the learning circles and enjoys the journey. Facilitators experience deeper integration of Appreciative Living into their own lives, as well as the incredible joy of facilitating meaningful positive change for others. Participants learn practical new ideas and tools for creating a better life, and the hope and belief they can do it. The line between facilitator and participant is almost indistinguishable, as facilitators participate equally and learn right alongside the participants. It is not about "imparting wisdom onto others," but creating the space for all in the room to find the wisdom within themselves. There is a wonderful honoring of each person’s contribution, and it is magical to watch as people of all ages, nationalities and cultures come together to share their joy. There are two quotes that capture the essence of what we are doing together. The first is by Victor Hugo: "There is one thing stronger than all the forces in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come." The second, by Margaret Mead: "Never doubt that a small group of committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has." The time has come. Let us begin. A better world stands at our doorstep.

Purpose

To provide the knowledge, support, and tools for integrating Appreciative Living to as many people as possible throughout the world.


Considerations in Organizing Learning Circles Size: Learning Circles can be as small as 2 people, and 5‐10 participants is optimal. Groups approaching 15 people and larger make it difficult for everyone to share. When: Once a week for four weeks. Circles last 1 ½ hours each week. Price: Determined by the facilitator. A nominal fee in the US of $10‐$25 per person, per class is often charged to cover costs and prep time, though some are free and some are priced higher. Every effort is made to include those who cannot afford to attend by offering scholarships or barter arrangements. All proceeds go to the facilitator, who is responsible for collections. Focus: A circle can be marketed & focused in one particular area, such as parenting, aging, abundance, etc. Appreciative Living Products: A facilitator may choose to become an affiliate and receive a percent of sales for Appreciative Living products, including books. Products can be sold through website links, at the back of the room, or through an affiliate code that automatically credits the affiliate when used during purchasing. Visit the Appreciative Living website for more information. Outside Products: The primary purpose of the learning circles is to teach and endorse Appreciative Living, but you may promote other businesses after the circle is over. For example, church leaders may wish to provide information on their church, or consultants may want to provide brochures for an upcoming workshop. You may do this as long as you follow these three guidelines:

1. Set up a table or space that is clearly separate from Appreciative Living materials for your information, and invite people to stop by after the circle if interested. You may invite participants to promote at this table as well. 2. Participate authentically in the circles. There could be a conscious or unconscious tendency to try to “look good” during the circle so others will think highly of you or want to hire you, especially if you offer something like coaching. Please be mindful of this possibility, and do your best to not let it get in the way of what you and the circle need most: Your authentic search for your personal joy.

Spread the word: Encourage participants to start their own learning circles. Groups average less than 10‐15 people, so there is no way to saturate the market with too many circles. This is a vehicle for people to take responsibility for their lives and find inner joy, and the shift of one person ripples out to affect so many others. Please do your best to give others the opportunity for this experience by encouraging participants to start their own circles. Valuations – At the end of the 4 weeks facilitators hand out class valuations provided in these materials. The comments are for the facilitators use only, but may be used as testimonials for the website if permission is given.


Facilitating the Circles These guidelines were established based on US culture, which places a strong emphasis on time

management, among other things. Please adjust these guidelines to fit your culture. Reading: The facilitator will read the opening statement the first gathering, and will then suggest how to read the materials going forward. They can be read out‐loud one paragraph at a time, a section at a time, or whatever works for the group. Group Exercises: Items in boxes on the agenda are exercises for the group to do. Everything outside of the boxes is meant to be read. Nametags: Nametags help build community, and using first names only helps create more authentic interactions. If people want to share last names in conversation, that is up to them Stay On‐track: The agenda is designed to inspire meaningful insights, so it will be unusual for people to complete conversations or thoughts in the time allotted. It is important the facilitator continue to move people through the agenda so they can turn their insights into practical results and commitments that will ultimately change their lives. To help stay on‐track, “stop time” spaces are included throughout the materials that can be filled in ahead of time. These will act as visual cues by the facilitators and participants to help keep the group on‐track. Start & End On‐time: Each part of the agenda serves an important function, so you need to start on‐time in order to end on‐time and be able to cover everything. Be sure to arrive well in‐advance so you are ready. Sit down a few minutes ahead of time and announce to people you will be starting shortly. Then start the circle on‐time. Timer: A timer is not required, but can be helpful in two situations. First, if the facilitator is not comfortable or adept at ending conversations when necessary, a timer alarm can be an effective way to signal the group that it’s time to move on. The second way a timer can be used is to allot a certain number of seconds or minutes for each person to share to help ensure participants get equal time. This can also be an effective way to deal with someone who is talking more than others. Talking Stick: This is also not required, but is a tool that can be helpful in certain situations. A “talking stick” is a designated object that people must be holding in order to speak. It can be useful in situations where people are talking over each other. It can also be used if there are one or more people dominating the conversation. You do this by creating rules that a person can only hold the stick one time per discussion (or per something that makes sense). You may find it necessary for a period of time, and then you won’t need it any more. It can always be brought in and out as needed.


Location Considerations & Ideas

Location Considerations

• Location. Is it centrally located and/or close to major highways? • Cost. Can you barter with the owners (free participation) in exchange for the space? • Set‐up. Are there adequate chairs, tables, and space? Is there a sign‐in/product table? • Customer potential. Can the venue act as a possible customer source? For example,

holding it at a senior center and advertising it there might help fill the class. • Aesthetics. Does it “feel good” in the room? Is there natural light? Is it a pleasing space? • Convenience. Is it easy to find the place, park, and get in and out of?

Location Ideas

• Assisted living facilities, senior centers, & hospice facilities • Community centers like United Way, YMCA, Lions Club, Rotary Clubs , & youth services • Hospitals or local medical offices and/or societies • Churches • Local colleges and schools • Condo or apartment club houses, community centers in large housing developments • Private clubs • Local lodge organizations such as Moose, VFW, etc • Bookstores ‐could have people buy book there to draw customers • Libraries sometimes have private rooms available • Coffee shops • Conference rooms of local businesses off‐hours. A few ideas: chiropractors, massage

schools or martial arts centers. • Beach or park pavilion in nice weather • Restaurants. Some also private rooms you can rent, though might be pricey

.


Week 1: Appreciative Living Learning Circles

Agenda

Start Time

Stop Time

Tot. Time

Description What to do

15 Opening Statement & Introductions

Read Opening Statement Introductions: People give their first name, what they hope to get out of the learning circle, and one thing they are grateful for.

15 Operating Guidelines & Roles Read the Operating Guidelines & Roles, and answer discussion questions: 1. How will it help to not have an “expert” in the room? 2. How will these guidelines make our process more efficient and effective?

15 Overview of Appreciative Living Read Overview & answer discussion questions: 1. What did you learn, or was interesting or new for you in this overview? 2. How does this apply to your life?

5 Guiding Principles & 3‐Step Model Read thru the Guiding Principles and The 3‐Step Model 15 Exercise – part 1 & 2 Do the exercise individually, then share answers with the group 10 Report‐out on exercise Answer questions:

1. Do you feel better about this situation now than when you started? 2. What can you now see in this situation that you were blind to before? 3. How could you use this exercise in your life right now?

10 Personal Commitment & Sharing Each person reflects, writes down, and then shares BRIEFLY: 1. What reading and exercise(s) will you do this week, where and when? 2. How are you going to reward yourself for completing your exercises?

5 Learning Circle Valuation 1. What worked well today in our circle? 2. What suggestions do you have for making our time together even better?


Opening Statement Week 1: Appreciative Living Learning Circles

Welcome to the Appreciative Living Learning Circles. There is a quote by James Branch Cabell who said, “The Optimist Proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.” This quote is at the heart of Appreciative Living, which teaches you how to live in the best of all possible worlds. Today is the first of four gatherings where you will learn how to create more joy and success in your world. You’ll do this by learning to shift your thinking to notice more of what’s right and working in your life, and tap into your hidden strengths and potential. In later gatherings you’ll learn how to get clear about what you want most, and create powerful, inspiring visions that will propel you forward. These learning circles will not only give you the knowledge and tools to make powerful changes in your life, but also the support and accountability to help you follow‐through. Today’s circle agenda will be a bit different from the rest. We will begin by discussing the operating guidelines we are going to follow for the next four weeks so our circles will function smoothly. That will be followed by reading and discussing an overview of Appreciative Living, which should provide new insights and learning. Finally, we will try out an appreciative exercise you can use in your life right now, and you will have an opportunity to think about how and where you can apply it this coming week. In the next three gatherings, we will dive a little deeper and explore a 3‐Step process that was designed to apply Appreciative Living to any situation. At the end of our four weeks together, you will understand how Appreciative Living can work for you to create the best of all possible worlds.

Introductions

Now it’s time to introduce ourselves. The facilitator will go first, followed by each person in order around the circle. Please say:

• Your first name • What you are hoping to get out of the learning circle • One thing you are grateful for

Stop time: ______________

©2009 Appreciative Living, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free “Getting Started” series, and how you can start your own learning circle. DRAFT VER 1.0 7

Operating Guidelines & Roles Appreciative Living Learning Circles

Participants agree to follow these guidelines at every gathering.

What How 1. Start & end on‐time, and

keep to the agenda.

The agenda is thoughtfully designed to take you from insight to action, and each part plays a critical role in making this happen. So it important to stay on‐track and get through all of it.

2. What is said in the circle, stays in the circle.

Do not share what others say in the circle without their permission. Do share your own success stories outside the circle and on the forum. They are incredibly helpful to others.

3. Be mindful of air time. Be aware of your sharing in the group and self correct if you are talking too much or contributing too little.

4. Success stories first, ideas second.

What really works is sometimes different than what we think will work. Ideas are helpful, but real‐life success stories are the richest and best source of information.

5. Find your answers within.

There are no “experts” or others in the circle who have your answer. You can learn from others, but ultimately you have to find your wisdom from within and learn to trust it.

6. Allow others to find their own answers.

Honor where others are and please do not give advice. We can never know what is right for another person. Advising others often serves as a distraction for us in doing our own work.

7. Look for the good in each other.

Adopt the mindset that you are going to focus on the strengths, potential, talents and any positive attributes you can find for each person in the circle, including the facilitator.

8. Do what works for you.

Participate and do the exercises with integrity in a way that sincerely works best for you. Allow others the same respect.

9. Open your heart.

Be open to positive ways of seeing your life, beliefs that take you higher, dreams you’ve hidden away, and miracles. Be open to changing your mind and to letting go. Be open to what is emerging in the circle. Be open.

10 Take Responsibility. With kindness, appreciation and love, take full responsibility for your life and where you want to go.


Roles Appreciative Living Learning Circles

The facilitator is a participant with additional responsibility for starting and ending the circle on‐time and guiding the group through the agenda. Participants are responsible for discovering their own answers by following the operating guidelines and participating in conversations in ways that are consistent with the guiding principles.

Read the following

• Informationtogether, aHow will it answers?

• How will theffective?

©2009 Appreciative“Getting Started

Discussion Questions: Operating Guidelines & Roles

questions, and answer them with the whole circle: will be provided through passages which the group reads and discusses nd the facilitator is as much a participant in this process as anyone else. help your learning to not have an “expert” in the room to provide

ese Operating Guidelines make our time together more efficient and/or

Stop time: ______________

Living, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free ” series, and how you can start your own learning circle. DRAFT VER 1.0 9

Overview of Appreciative Living

By Jackie Kelm Appreciative Living is hard to define, because it is a paradigm or way of seeing the world. One way to describe it is through the use of a metaphor: Your life as a movie. Consider how you feel when watching a movie at a theater. If you watch a show that is sad and depressing, you tend to feel that way yourself. If you watch one that is uplifting and inspiring, you feel hopeful and good. An inspiring movie can even motivate you to change something in your life or appreciate it more. If you think of your life as a movie that is constantly playing in front of you on an imaginary screen, you’ll realize the same thing happens. When you “watch” a sad movie in your life by focusing on sad events, you feel sad and unmotivated. And when you pay more attention to what is working, possible and hopeful, you feel good and become inspired to make change. It’s really that simple. To take the movie metaphor a bit further, imagine there is a line going down the middle of your movie screen. One side is all the good things that exist in your life, such as your strengths, gifts, achievements, talents, hopes, creative ideas, solutions, dreams, successes, kind deeds, peak experiences, best practices, inspirations, and future possibilities (to name a few). The negative side contains your fears, worries, concerns, weaknesses, and failures, etc. And if you look even closer, you’ll see there are two curtains hanging on either side of the screen which are open and closed differently for each person. Some people have the curtain pulled almost closed on the positive side, so they literally cannot see the good things in their life. As a result, they experience a lot of negative emotion, which can range from depression and hopelessness to sadness and anger. They are also limited in their success because creative ideas, hidden talents and potential, and inspiration for change lie on the positive side. Being able to see what’s on the positive side of the screen is the key to success as well as experiencing joy. Paying attention to what is good about our life is counter‐cultural. From the time we are born we are often taught to look at what is wrong, broken, dangerous, or inadequate in ourselves and our lives. We have deep and pervasive beliefs in our culture that our survival depends on over‐focusing on the negative aspects. While the negative side has value, it generally gets more attention than it needs. There are in fact, some people who have the negative side of the screen closed off because it is too sad, scary or painful for them to look at the bad things. This is what we call denial, and is not what we are advocating. The negative side is important to pay attention to, and actually contains our biggest gifts for learning and change once we learn how to work with it.


Overview of Appreciative Living (Cont’d)

Appreciative Living is about pulling the curtains wide open so we can see the totality of our life – both the positive and negative. Since most of us are culturally conditioned to pay more attention to the negative side, it takes deliberate effort and training to learn how to see the positive. That is what these learning circles help us do. So how do we pull the curtain back to see the good stuff? Neuroscience has some interesting answers. The brain is like a muscle, and as we learn from our culture to pay attention to the negative side, it becomes a pattern that literally gets hard‐wired through neuronal connections. To “re‐wire” our brains to think more on the positive side, we have to intentionally change our thought patterns and repeat them. You can think of these learning circles like taking your brain to the gym. Getting your mind in shape is very much like getting your body in shape. The readings, discussions and exercises provide the modified beliefs and thoughts you need to “pull back the curtain” and create new brain patterns biased towards the positive side. The exercises you will do during the week help build and reinforce the new thought patterns. The group setting provides the emotional support and accountability to help you follow‐through. And don’t worry: You will not become a “Naive Pollyanna.” The opposite is actually true. It may seem ironic, but spending time on the positive side gives you the courage, inspiration, and motivation to deal with the “bad stuff.” And over time you’ll come to see the “bad stuff” is actually “good stuff” once you understand how to work with it. The bottom line is that if you’re not as successful or feeling as happy as you’d like, it means you’re too focused on the negative aspects of your life. If you want to feel better and be more successful, you have to pull back the curtain on the positive side and look for what is hiding there. These learning circles will give you the tools and support you need to do this, but ultimately it is up to you to make it happen.

Read the following• What did yo• How does t

©2009 Appreciative “Getting Started”

Discussion Questions: Overview of Appreciative Living

questions, and answer any of them with the whole circle: u learn, or was interesting or new for you in this overview? his apply to your life?

Stop time: ______________

Living, LLC. Visit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free series, and how you can start your own learning circle. DRAFT VER 1.0 11

The Guiding Principles of Appreciative Living Appreciative Living is based on the Appreciative Inquiry work of David Cooperrider at Case Western Reserve University. Cooperrider created underlying 5 principles for his organizational philosophy, which Jackie Kelm translated into personal living. These principles form the theoretical foundation for this work, which are as follows: Constructionist Principle

• We construct stories together with our thinking about what happens in our lives. • Our story is one perspective, and there are an infinite number of perspectives.

Poetic Principle

• The stories of our lives are like poetry; they are open to infinite interpretations, and whatever we focus on, expands.

• There is always a positive side to any situation or person, but we have to choose to find it.

Simultaneity Principle • The moment we ask about the positive side we simultaneously begin to move towards it • Questions are a powerful way to see the positive side

Anticipatory Principle

• We anticipate what the future will be like by forming pictures in our minds, and then we live into those images

• We can deliberately change the future by visualizing what we want

Positive Principle • Focusing on positive aspects creates positive upward spirals • Building on strengths provides greater leverage for change than fixing weaknesses


Appreciative Living 3‐Step Model After working with, practicing, and writing about these principles for years, Kelm came up with a simple 3‐Step process for applying these principles to any situation. The process follows:

In the weeks ahead we’ll explore this model further, but this gives you a sense of the whole. Next we are going to do an exercise that will give you an experience of what it’s like to approach a situation from an Appreciative perspective.

Stop time: ______________


This exercise will help us pull the curtain off items on the negative side of difficult positive about them. It can be hard to finbut that’s what we’re going to do now. Ifanswer the questions at first. Over time ithe other side. Part 1: *The story we are going to work today isTake a few minutes, and silently write yo

1. Identify at least one thing you areway your life will be better becau

2. What lessons can you learn (or ha

Part 2: After everyone has answered the questioBuild on ideas while listening to each othof this situation as you can. Keep the consome questions to help structure the dia

• What did you come up with for Pa• What additional ideas are occurri

Stop tim

* Facilitator Note – the economic downturnow which can be used in most groups. Hobetter by using any story that would be un Read the following questions, a

• Do you feel better about• What can you now see in• How could you use this e

©2009 Appreciative Living, LLC. Visit www.A“Getting Started” series, and how you ca

Exercise

back on a difficult situation. We can typically rattle stories, but have taken little time to look at what’s d the good when we are so steeped in the negative, you are new to this way of thinking it can be hard to t gets easier as your brain begins to “re‐wire” to see

: _________________________________________ ur answers to the following questions:

grateful for about this situation, and at least one se of it.

ve you already learned) from this situation?

ns individually, discuss your answers as a group. er and try to come up with as many positive aspects versation focused on the good things. Here are logue: rt 1? ng to you as you listen to others?

e: ______________

n is a fairly pervasive negative story in the US right wever, you can tailor this exercise to fit your group iversally perceived as negative by participants.

Report‐Out on Exercise

nd answer any of them with the whole circle: this situation now than when you started the exercise? this situation that you were blind to before? xercise in your life right now?

Stop time: ______________

ppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free n start your own learning circle. DRAFT VER 1.0 14

Commitment for Next Week Research shows you are much more likely to follow through on a goal if you designate when and where you will do it. Your chances of success also increase substantially if there is a meaningful reward attached to completing the task. Today we did an exercise that helps you “pull back the curtain” in difficult situations to see the good side of a negative story. You did this by asking two questions about what was good and what you could learn from the situation. Part 1: Personal Commitment Write your answers to the following questions. Afterwards, you will be asked to share your responses with the group if you wish, so they can help hold you accountable. 1. As you reflect on your week ahead, when and where might the exercise we did today be helpful? Two possibilities include taking time each morning to reflect on difficult situation(s) from the day before and ask the questions, or to ask the questions in the moment when difficult situations arise. Write down when and where you plan to do the exercise this week. 2. In order to prepare for next week, it is helpful to read or review certain chapters from either book on Appreciative Living as noted on the next page. Decide whether you will read or not, and if so, what you will read and when. 3. Write down a meaningful reward you will give yourself for reading and completing the exercises you have planned.

Part 2: Sharing of Commitment Sharing your intentions for the week with the group is an additional way to create accountability and help insure your success. Take a minute now if you wish, and tell the rest of the circle participants the following: 1. What exercise(s) will you do this week, where and when? 2. How are you going to reward yourself for completing your exercises?

Stop time: ______________


This is your opportunity to getanswers with the group to eith

• What value did you get• What suggestions do y

More inform

www.

Note: Thi The Joy of Appreciative Steps (Provides a more book. Does not include

• Chapter 1: The S• Chapter 2: The C• Chapter 3: The P• Appendix A: Wh• Appendix C: App(37 total pages for t

Appreciative Living: The(Provides a deeper and Borders on being acade

• Introduction (pg• Chapter 1: The C• Chapter 2: The P• Chapter 7: Appre(59 total pages for t

©2009 Appreciative Living, LLC. V“Getting Started” series, and

Learning Circle Valuation

what you want and need in these circles. Please share your er or both of the following questions:

out of our Learning Circle today? ou have for making our time together next week even better?

Stop time: ______________

ation on Appreciative Living can be found at:

AppreciativeLiving.com

Reading Preparation for Next Weeks is the heaviest reading week. Select from either book.

Living: Your 28‐Day Plan to Greater Happiness in 3 Incredibly Easy practical explanation of the principles that reads like a self‐help the 3‐step model beyond 2 pages in the appendices.) tory Behind the Study (pgs. 3‐12) onstructionist Principle (pgs. 13‐22) oetic Principle (pgs. 23‐36) at is Appreciative Inquiry? (pgs. 159‐160) reciative Living 3‐Step Model (pgs. 171‐172) hose who want to read a certain number of pages per day.)

Principles of Appreciative Inquiry in Personal Life more extensive explanation of the principles and the 3‐step model.mic.) s. 1‐5) onstructionist Principle (pgs. 9‐30) oetic Principle (pgs. 31‐52) ciating‐Imagining‐Acting Process (pgs. 145‐155) hose who want to read a certain number of pages per day.)

isit www.AppreciativeLiving.com for books, CD’s, workshops, a free how you can start your own learning circle. DRAFT VER 1.0 16

http://www.appreciativeliving.com/


Appreciative Living Learning Circle Valuation

Date:___________________ Facilitator: _______________________________________

1. How would you rate the value of this Circle overall? Please circle the corresponding number: 1 2 3 4 5 Poor Fair Average Really Good Outstanding 2. What did you value most in your learning circle experience? 3. What did you value most in your facilitator? 4. What suggestions do you have for making the Learning Circles better? 5. How will this change your life? 6. Would you consider starting a learning circle? (please circle) Yes Maybe No I don’t know 7. May we use your above comments in our marketing materials? Yes _____ No _____ 8. May we include your name with your comments? If so, please provide the name we may use: ______________________________________________________________________________

Documents

Appreciative Living Learning Circlesappreciativeliving.com/files/Week_1_-_AL_Learning_Circles_Ver_1_0.p… · Week 1: Appreciative Living Learning Circles Agenda Start Time Stop Time