Free Response: Comparative Essay

AP World History Writing WorkshopJulia M. Hyman

BISD K-12 Social Studies Consultant

Comparative Essay• The final free-response essay--comparative question that focuses on developments in two or more societies, and their interactions with each other or with major themes or events (e.g. culture, trade, religion, technology, migrations).

•You'll have 40 minutes to write the essay. It's recommended that you spend five minutes planning and/or outlining your answer before you begin writing.

Scoring GuidelinesBasic CORE: Competency Possible Points: 0 - 6

Has an acceptable thesis 1 point

Address all parts of the question 2 points

Substantiates thesis with appropriate historical evidence

2 points

Makes at least two relevant, direct comparisons among or

between societies

1 point

Expanded CORE: Excellence Possible Points : 0 - 3

Basic CORE of six points must be obtained before the expanded CORE can be earned.

Acceptable ThesisState directlyLocate at either the beginning or end of essay—do not split

Must include both similarities and differences

Focus on Subordinating Conjunctions!!

Format of the Thesis Sentence for a Comparative Essay

___________, coordinating conjunction ___________. (Coordinate: Of Equal Value use coordinating conjunction with a full sentence on either

side. Use words such as and, or, but, neither/nor, either/or, not only/but also)

If you need to show a relationship or demonstrate causality, go with one of the following formats:

_____________; subordinating conjunction, ________.

(Value one over the other use a subordinating conjunction. See Chart.)

Subordinating conjunction ____________, _________. (Value one over the other use a subordinating conjunction. See Chart.)

Subordinating ConjunctionsConcession

(Provide help on the thesis)

Compare Contrast

Although like although

Though same however

Even though both differ

While it may be true the same as unlike

In spite of similar even though

Granted that in the same way yet

Whereas most important but

While similarly instead

as on the contrary

too whereas

as well as while

compared to unless

and contrary to

or the reverse

Consider this Question:Compare and contrast the political and

economic effects of Mongol rule on TWO of the following regions:

China Middle East Russia

Address All Parts of the Question:Break Down the Prompt:

Compare and contrast the political and economic effects of Mongol rule on TWO of the following regions:

China Middle East Russia

Address all four parts = 2 full pointsAddress only two – three parts = 1 pointAddress only one part = 0 points

Brainstorm What You Know: 5 MinutesPolitical Evidence Economic Evidence

China •Kept modified civil service system•Upper level bureaucracy reserved for Mongols•Yaun Dynasty: Kublai Khan direct rule•General benevolence when no resistance•Religious toleration to consolidate rule

•Maintained Silk Roads, Postal System during ; safe travel encouraged international trade•Facilitated commerce and communication

Middle East •Ruthless annihilation of resistance (terror tactics)•Indirect rule: regents for the Khan

•Canal system destroyed•Sacked and destroyed Baghdad

Russia •General benevolence when no resistance•Religious toleration to consolidate rule; Russian Orthodoxy flourished•Heavy Taxes levied and collected by Moscow Princes•Indirect rule: regents for the Khan

•Outlet for the fur trade from Russia•Maintained Silk Roads, Postal System during ; safe travel encouraged international trade•Facilitated commerce and communication

2 or 3 historic examples = 1 point (One piece of evidence can count for more than one region if it is specifically explained for each region.)

•4 historic examples = 2 points

Format of the Thesis Sentence for a Comparative Essay

The Mongols had significant political and economic impact on both Russia and China during their rule, but China experienced a greater impact due to direct rule than did Russia under rule by proxy.

China and Russia both benefitted economically from Mongol rule; however, China experienced greater political intervention during the Mongol reign.

Although Russia and China both benefitted economically from Mongol rule, China benefitted more politically under Mongol direction.

Direct ComparisonsNeed at least two direct comparisons of the

regionsMay be either comparison or contrastOne must be politicalOne must be economic

Earn 1 point

Expanded CORE PointsCan only be earned if you receive a 6 on the

basic CORELooking for:

Clear, analytical and comprehensive thesisBalanced treatment of both regionsBalanced treatment of both similarities and

differencesBalanced treatment of both political and

economic analysesAmple historical evidenceComparisons in a larger global context