“Peek  Inside”  Real  Sessions  with  TIW  Coaches  and  Clients  

(Please  Note:  Specific  personal  details  within  these  sessions  have  been  altered  to  protect  the  privacy  of  both  coaches  and  clients)    

___________________________________________________________________  

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  1:    

For  this  session,  I  informed  Heather  that  we  were  going  to  see  if  she  had  any  past  traumas  that  may  be  affecting  her  money  today.  I  was  looking  for  one  of  two  ways  that  trauma  can  show  up:  1)  as  a  loss  or  2)  as  a  battle,  anger  or  betrayal.      I   asked   Heather   if   she   could   connect   to   any   experience   in   her   past,   that   when   she   thinks   about   her  finances   she   can   say,   “If   only   that   hadn’t   happened,   I   would   be   so   much   further   ahead.”   She  immediately  connected  to  a  time  when  she  was  21  years  old.  She  said,  “If  I  hadn’t  decided  to  just  dive  into  acting  and  give  100%  to   it,  and   instead  developed  other  skills   to  make  more  money,   then   I  could  have  been  making  money  AND  acting!”  She  had  resigned  herself  to  waiting  tables.  She  felt  that  was  her  only   real   choice.   She  didn’t   give  herself   any  other  options.  When   I   asked  her  how  she   felt   about   that  right  now,   she   replied,   “How  could   I   be   so   stupid?!   I’m   so  angry  with  myself   and   I’m   the  only  one   to  blame.”      She  started   to  get  choked  up  and   teary  sounding.   I  gently  pointed  out   to  her   that  her   reaction  shows  that   the   “energy”   of   this   experience   is   still   within   her.   That   it   has   never   been   processed   and   that   it  blocks  her  today  from  manifesting  the  money  she  would  like  to  be  making.  I  asked  her  to  rate  how  true  the  statement  “How  could  I  be  so  stupid?”  was  for  her  today.  She  replied  that  it  was  true  at  a  level  8  out  of  10.      Again,   I  pointed  out  how  this  belief  was  playing  out   in  her   life   today.  That   it’s  possible   that   she  holds  herself  back  from  opportunities  because  she  refuses  to  have  that  experience  again.  An  experience  that  left  her  feeling  so  angry  at  herself.  She  totally  got  the  A-­‐ha  on  this  one!  She  recognized  how  even  today  she   feels   like   she  has  no   choice   at   times.   Like   she  made  a  decision   that   “felt   like   it  was   the  only   real  choice”   at   the   time.   She   then   feels   angry,   stuck   and   trapped  and  doesn’t   realize   that   she   can   choose  again,  rather  than  just  sitting  in  this  unhappy  space  for  years  on  end.      Since  her  reaction  to  this  experience  was  so  high,  I  chose  to  do  some  tapping  with  Heather  right  away.  We  gave  a  voice  to  that  21  year  old,  and  there  were  a  lot  of  tears  in  the  tapping  round.  Heather  was  able  to  forgive  that  21  year  old  part  of  herself.  She  recognized  that  at  that  time,  she  really  was  doing  the  best  that  she  could.  That  she  made  her  decisions  based  on  what  she  knew  at  the  time.  She  also  tapped  on  some  anger  that  she  was  still  holding  onto  around  her  parents  and  others  that  did  not  support  her  in  her  dreams  to  go  into  acting.  She  really  wanted  to  prove  them  all  wrong.      I   was   able   to   help   Heather   see   that   she   stills   holds   that   “battle”   energy   within   her.   She   again   had  another  A-­‐ha  moment,  seeing  how  triggered  she  gets  whenever  her  parents  “question”  her  on  anything.  She   immediately   feels   the   need   to   defend   herself   and   her   decisions.   She   was   blown   away   at   this  realization.  Seeing  how  it  was  the  21  year  old  part  of  her  getting  triggered  into  having  to  defend  herself,  to  go  into  battle  to  prove  that  others  were  wrong.    It  was  a  beautiful  tapping  round,  with  Heather  having  so  much  more  compassion  for  not  only  herself,  but  for  her  parents  as  well!    

 

 

 After   we   finished   the   tapping   round,   Heather   noted   that   another   financial   trauma   surfaced.   She  disclosed  that  she  and  her  husband  made  a  mistake  in  buying  their  current  home.  She  said  they  didn’t  really   think  about   their   lifestyle  at   the   time.  That   the  home  didn’t  fit   their  budget,   yet   they  bought   it  anyway.  She  then  stated,  “We’ve  never  really  had  financial  freedom  since  living  in  this  house.”      She  also  shared  that  this  “mistake”  keeps  coming  up  in  their  marriage  today,  as  silent  anger,  frustration  and   guilt.   She’s   angry   at   her   husband   for   not   thinking   the   purchase   through   enough.   She’s   angry   at  herself  for  not  saying  anything  for  all  these  years.  Heather  noted,  “I  KNEW  I  should  have  pushed  it  more  that  we  move.  When  we  started  to  see  how  much  of  a  struggle  living  in  this  house  was,  we  should  have  moved.  But,  because  it  would  have  disrupted  our  entire  life,  and  the  kids,  I  didn’t  say  anything.  I  should  have  known  better!!”              I  asked  Heather  to  rate  how  angry  she  was  about  this  situation.  She  was  angry  at  a  6  out  of  10.  I  then  asked  how  guilty  she  felt  about  not  saying  anything,  even  though  living  in  this  house  has  put  a  strain  on  their  marriage.  She  felt  guilty  at  a  9  out  of  10.  Again,  because  this  number  was  so  high,  I  proceeded  to  lead  her  through  a  tapping  round.      Again,  there  were  many  tears  during  the  tapping.  Along  with  some  “FU”’s  directed  at  her  husband.  She  also  shared   that  during   the   tapping  she   realized  how  much   fear   she  was   feeling.  She   felt   like   she  had  really   seen   how  big   an   issue   this  was   for   her.   She   couldn’t   keep   pretending   it  wasn’t   there.   She  was  scared  that  since  she  knew  the  truth  now,  she  would  have  to  do  something  about   it  and   it   frightened  her.    After  the  tapping  rounds  she  was  much  calmer  and  had  more  clarity  around  what  she  needed  to  do.  She  felt  calm  and  confident  that  she  needed  to  speak  with  her  husband,  to  finally  tell  him  how  she  has  felt  all   these   years.   She  was   almost   excited   to   get  off   the  phone  and   talk   to  him.  Before   the   session,   she  didn’t   realize   how   much   underlying   anger   she   was   feeling   toward   her   husband   because   of   them  purchasing   the  home  15  years  ago.  She  recognized  how  much  strain   it  has  put  on   their  marriage.  She  also  recognized  other  battle  patterns  between  herself  and  her  husband,  stemming  from  this  unresolved  issue!!    Because  of  the  tapping,  she  was  able  to  forgive  herself  in  the  process.  She  felt  like  she  really  was  putting  her   family  first  by  not  saying  anything.  She  didn’t  want   to  upset  all   their   lives  by  having  to  move.  She  also   softened  around  her  husband.   She   realized   that  he  was  not   intentionally   trying   to  put   them   into  debt  by  buying  this  house.  He  too  was  doing  the  best  that  he  could  at  the  time.      The  biggest  take-­‐away  for  Heather  though,  was  the  realization  that  she  needed  to  speak  her  truth.  That  she  has  been  doing  a  huge  disservice  to  herself,  her  husband  and  their  marriage  by  holding  onto  all  this  anger   for   so   many   years.   It   was   a   “stewing   anger”   that   seeped   through   many   aspects   of   their   life  together  and  she  was  not  even  aware  of  it  until  doing  these  Money  Map  sessions.  We  ended  the  session  with  Heather  stating  that  she  was  going  to  “come  clean”  with  her  husband  and  that  she  would  report  back  to  me  how  it  went.    I  checked  in  with  Heather  a  few  days  after  this  session  and  she  still  sounded  “light  and  happy”.  She  did  have  a  discussion  with  her  husband  and  it  went  very  well.  He  became  angry  at  times,  but  she  said  that  because  of  all  the  tapping  we  had  done,  she  did  not  get  triggered  by  him.  She  let  him  have  his  voice  as  well,  and  they  both  came  to  an  understanding.  They  decided  to  do  some  small  upgrades  in  their  kitchen  

 

 

and  then  put  the  house  on  the  market  next  fall.  She  was  excited  about  this  decision  and  most  thankful  that   she   and   her   husband  were   both   on   board  with   it.  We   hung   up   the   phone  with  Heather   feeling  extremely  grateful  for  our  work  together!    :-­‐D  _____________________________________________________________________________________      

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  2:    

I  started  the  session  by  reminding  Patricia  that  in  our  first  session,  when  we  completed  her  confidential  Money  Map,  she  had  stated  that  if  she  actually  made  her  income  goal  it  would  mean  that  she  would  no  longer  belong  to  her  social  class.    

She  had  said:  “I  don't  know  who  I'd  be  or  who  to  turn  to,  I  am  from  the  poor  class,  my  mother  worked  a  few  jobs  and  could  barely  afford  food...”  

She  remembered  these  statements  and  felt  sad  and  discouraged.    

I  shared  with  her  that  there  is  a  huge  energetic  component  to  those  statements,  as  I  mentioned  to  her  back  then,  and  we  had  this  session  to  address  and  change  them.    

I  explained  to  her   that  we  often  make  -­‐unconscious-­‐  vows  as  children  or  young  adults   to  our  parents,  our  families  and  our  social  class.  We  have  a  need  to  belong  in  order  to  survive  and  we  know  that  alone  we  wouldn't  make  it.    

The  vow,   to  belong,  comes  with  certain  agreements  and  beliefs   that  go  with   the    particular  group  we  want  to  belong  to.  We  often  don't  realize  the  impact  that  those  vows  have  in  us.  

Given  her  history,  Patricia  had  decided  she  belonged  to  the  poor  class,  and  as  such,  she  could  not  make  money,  if  she  did  she  would  break  a  very  important  rule  and  she  would  be  expelled  from  her  tribe.  Poor  people  don't  have  money...  this  was  #1  to  address  if  she  wanted  to  achieve  her  income  goal.  

We  tapped  on  her  need  to  belong  to  her  group  and  her  desire  to  feel  accepted,  supported  and   loved.  How   mom   did   not   do   those   things   and   how   she   desperately   needed   that   sense   of   worth   from   the  outside  because  she  never  got  the  love  she  wanted  and  needed  as  a  child.  

We  tapped  on  all  the  events  and  facts  that  proved  mother  right,  she  was  not  lovable  and  she  deserved  to  be  poor  and  not  succeed...  until  she  took  a  deep  breath  and  her  energy  changed!  

We  looked  at  how  this  change  and  acknowledgement  that  even  when  her  nervous  system  was  running  wild  with  the  belief   that  she  did  not  deserve  because  she  was  “poor...  and  not  good  for  anything”   (as  mom  has  stated)  SHE  KNEW  BETTER  TODAY!  

We  discussed  her  huge  A-­‐HA  moment,  when  she  recognized  her  worth,  independent  of  mom,  her  social  class  or  her  history  and  together  did  a  little  dance  of  celebrating  her  new  insight!  

Now,  it  was  time  to  address  the  battling  vow  she  had  to  prove  mom  wrong.  Patricia  had  very  successful  workshops  and  clients,  when  money  was  pouring   in,   followed  by  periods  of   famine...  when  she  would  get  in  debt.  

 

 

I  explained  to  her  that  she  unconsciously  chose  to  battle  with  mom,  to  prove  her  wrong,  to  let  her  know  that  she  was  more  than  a  good  for  nothing,  a  depressed  person  that  deserved  nothing...  so  she  would  earn  good  money  and  then  -­‐because  of  her  vow  to  be  loyal  and  a  good  girl-­‐  she  would  actually  lose  all  her  money  proving  mom  right  again.    

We  tapped  like  crazy  this  need  to  prove  mom  wrong  or  right,  letting  the  words  cleanse  this  energy  that  was  keeping  her  battling,  instead  of  focusing  on  being  a  great  money  manager  and  enjoying  her  life.  

 

Patricia  was  really  starting  to  get  a  clear  picture  of  her  finances,   from  a  historic  energetic  perspective,  recognizing  how  she  was  carrying  all  these  beliefs  and  vows  that  were  keeping  her  stuck  and  depressed  running  in  circles  in  the  same  hole!  

She  was  extremely  grateful,  sharing  how  she  felt  open  to  the  immense  and  immediate  changes  she  was  noticing  in  herself,  especially  connected  with  her  self-­‐worth  and  confidence  in  her  future.  

(Celebrating  time  for  ME!  I  looove  this  work!)  

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Coaching  Session  Case  Study  3:    Before  starting  our  session,  when  I  checked  in  with  her,  “Patti”  stated:    “I  am  always  tired,   I  have  a  hard  time  getting  up  from  bed,   I  am  exhausted...   I  have  a  can't  be  bother  energy...  I  have  soooo  much  to  do  and  I  feel  paralyzed.  It's  just  not  worth  trying.      I   have   so  many   opportunities   to   do  what   I   love   and   I'm   passionate   about  what   I   do,   I   have   so  many  blessings  in  my  life...  and  I  feel  tired...    I  can't  be  bothered...  it's  draining...”    I   guided  Patti   in   the  early  money  paradigm  exercise,   seeing  her   caretakers  discuss  money  as   a   young  child.      Patti  related  that  her  father  and  father’s  brother  were  discussing  money  and  the  feelings  that  arose  in  her  young  self  were:  desperation,  fear...  father  said:  “it's  never  enough,  it's  pointless  to  try  because  we  are  never  going  to  have  enough,  even  if  I  work  20  hours  a  day  it  would  not  be  enough.”    When  talking  about  people  that  had  money,  her  uncle  said:  “they  are  greedy  pigs,  selfish,  and  abusive...”    When  Patti  opened  her  eyes,  I  shared  with  her  some  important  aha  moments:      Could  she  see  that  if  as  a  young  child  she  heard  that  “it's  never  enough,  it's  pointless  to  try  because  we  are  never  going  to  have  enough,  even   if   I  work  20  hours  a  day   it  would  not  be  enough”   it  made  total  sense  that  she  felt  exhausted  all  the  time,  drained,  not  wanting  to  get  up  from  bed  and  to  top  it  off,  if  she  ever  did  make  any  money  she  would  turn  into  a  “greedy  pig,  selfish,  and  abusive...”    

 

 

Could  she  see  that  she  had  no  way  out?      She   totally   did,   and  was   amazed   at   how   clear   it  was   for   her   now,   her  way   of   thinking   about   energy,  money  and  her  possibility  for  earning,  become  totally  clear.      We  tapped  on  all  the  feelings  and  beliefs  associated  with  this  early  money  paradigm,  letting  go  of  them,  honoring  her  father  for  his  struggles  and  positive  intentions.  We  ended  with  a  decision  to  shift  and  make  new  choices  based  in  her  new  awareness  and  new  consciousness,  her  desire  to  shift  her  reality,  sharing  her  passion  with  the  world  and  making  handsome  money  for  it!      After   guiding  Patti   in   the   visualization  where   she   visits   her   caretakers  being   totally   successful   earning  $10,000  a  month  and  being  recognized  as  an  expert  an  eminence  in  her  field,  working  15  hours  a  week  she  disclosed:    “My  dad   is  ecstatic,  proud  and  really   thrilled   for  me...  my  uncle  on  the  other  hand,   is  very  dismissive,  stating:  “Who   do   you   think   you   are?   How   dare   you?   Now   you   will   turn   into   them   (rich   people)   and   be  presumptuous,  ugly,  abusive  and  selfish,  like  my  ex...  plus  even  if  you  have  money  today,  watch  out!  It  will  disappear...”    This  exercise  gave  Patti  huge  aha  moments,   it  helped  her   remember   that  her   father  had  always  been  supportive  and  proud  of  her,  stating  “I  know  you  will  succeed,  I  see  it   in  You,  You  will  really  overcome  this  situation  (being  poor)  and  go  beyond,  you  don't  have  to  struggle  like  me!”    She  had  always  believed  that  it  was  her  father  who  was  dismissive  and  judgmental  of  her,  when  it  was  actually  her  uncle.  Her  uncle  had  been  married  to  a  wealthy,    selfish,  and  abusive  woman  that  left  him  bitter  and  disgruntled.      She  had  a  beautiful  aha  moment  and  after  a  pause  said:  “I  would  be  actually  honoring  my  father  if  I  succeed,  I  would  honor  his  sacrifice  and  all  his  hard  work,  his  desire  for  me  to  move  ahead  in  life!  I  truly  see  it  now!”    At  the  end  of  this  session,  Patti  was  again  so  grateful  to  this  process  and  my  dedication  to  her,  as  well  as  my  sharing  how  I  saw  her  potential,  her  light  and  her  ability  to  manifest  the  life  she  truly  wants.      I  feel  deeply  inspired  by  how  Patti  has  been  transforming,  un-­‐covering  what  has  been  holding  her  back,  feeling   thrilled   and   freed   from  her   previous   programming!   She   is   now   ready   to  make  new   choices   to  create  the  life  she  wants.    _____________________________________________________________________________________  

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  4:    

I  began  the  session  by  asking  “Melanie”  if  there  was  an  event  from  the  past,  that  really  had  an  impact  on  her  at  the  time  and  the  impact  of  it  is  still  showing  up  in  her  finances  as  a  dollars  and  cents  reality.      

I  barely  had  the  question  out  of  my  mouth  when  she  launched  into  the  following  story…about  15  years  ago,  her  relative  asked  her  to  help  buy  a  house  that  he  wanted  to  fix  up  and  flip.  It  turned  out  to  be  a  

 

 

disaster,  in  which  Melanie  ended  up  paying  the  mortgage  payments  until  she  exhausted  her  savings.  At  this  point,  her  relative  convinced  her  to  take  out  a  huge  line  of  credit,  pay  off  his  credit  cards  and  that  would  enable  him  to  raise  his  credit  score  and  buy  the  house  from  him.  He  then  proceeded  to  give  his  new   business   partner   a   huge   chunk   of   that  money.   Also,   unbeknownst   to  Melanie,   her   relative   then  opened  up  two  credit  cards  in  Melanie’s  name,  a  line  of  credit  which  he  and  his  partner  then  racked  up.  

By  the  time  Melanie  discovered  that  all  of  this  had  happened,  it  was  really  too  late  to  do  anything  except  declare  bankruptcy.    This  was  totally  devastating  to  her,  she  reported.    She  was  so  racked  with  shame,  depression   and   anger   that   she   became   “non-­‐functional,”   as   she   put   it.     On   the   verge   of   a   nervous  breakdown,  she  was  put  on  several  medications  so  that  she  could  just  get  through  each  day.    

Melanie’s  bankruptcy  lawyers  urged  her  to  pursue  her  relative  and  his  partner  for  credit  card  fraud  but  other  family  members  urged  her  not  to.    She  complied.    

At  this  point  Melanie  was  crying.      I  pointed  out  that  despite  the  fact  that  this  happened  a  long  time  ago,  that  it  is  obviously  still  affecting  her  at  a  deep  level.      Of  course  she  is  angry  and  upset  but  what  I  really  wanted  her  to  see  was  that  there  was  obviously  still  a  tremendous  amount  of  emotion  running  through  her  system  and  all  of  these  emotions  were  really  costing  her,  not  just  in  terms  of  her  mental  health  but  also  very  likely  in  terms  of  her  income.        

All   this   unprocessed,   invalidated,   unhonored   grief,   anger   and   sadness—all   this   stuck   energy—was  impacting  her  ability  to  create  the  life  and  the  income  she  wanted  in  the  present.      This  statement  totally  resonated  with  her.    She  admitted  that  she  hasn’t  been  able  to  make  more  than  $30k  a  year  since  the  bankruptcy.    [I  made  mental  note  to  work  with  her  on  this  in  a  future  session.]  

I  decided  to  first  tap  on  all  of  her  rage  at  her  relatives  using  the  language  that  she  had  provided  when  we  spoke:  “How  could  he  have  done  this  to  me,”  “How  could  my  own  family  betray  me  like  this…  not  once   but   twice!,”     “The   fucking   bastard,”   “The   scoundrel!,”   “How   could  my   relatives   have   sided  with  him?”,  “Why  was  it  him  that  they  chose  to  protect  instead  of  me?”  etc.  

I  let  her  rage  and  rage  and  as  she  did  the  tears  started  to  flow.    [I  told  her  that  tears  are  perfectly  okay.    In  fact,  it’s  a  sign  of  energy  moving,  toxic  energy  leaving  her  body.]  

When  her  SUDS  had  moved  from  an  11  to  a  7,  we  next  moved  onto  her  rage  at  herself:  “How  could   I  have  been  so  stupid?”,  “How  could  I  have  not  seen  this  coming!”      “What  a  total  idiot  I  am!”    “How  can  anyone  this  smart  on  paper  yet  so  stupid   in  real   life!    What  a   fucked  up,   fucked-­‐   in-­‐the-­‐head  person   I  must  be!  ”  she  exclaimed.    

Next  we   tapped  on   the   tremendous  burden,   the  weight   of   this   trauma  and  how   it  was   continuing   to  affect  her  in  the  present.      We  used  the  scripts  from  TIW  page  153-­‐154.      

Interestingly,  I  thought  that  this  round  of  tapping  would  result  in  more  compassion  for  herself.    Instead,  it  seemed  to  create  more  compassion  for  her  relative  who  wronged  her.        As  we  continued  tapping  she  was  beginning  to  see  more  and  more  her  role  in  this  whole  drama.    It  was  dawning  on  her  that  all  of  this  wasn’t  entirely  her  relative’s  fault.      

It   was   her   choice   not   to   speak   to   a   real   estate   attorney   before   she   began   the   whole   house-­‐buying  venture,  she  pointed  out.    Melanie  easily  qualified  for  a  mortgage  with  no  money  down.      Because  it  was  so  easy  to  secure  this  loan,  she  confessed,  that  the  whole  process  just  didn’t  seem  like  that  big  of  a  deal.      

 

 

“Plus,”  she  remembered  thinking,  “I’ve  got  a  great  credit  score  and  it  isn’t  doing  me  any  good.”    Melanie  had  no  immediate  plans  to  buy  a  house  of  her  own  anytime  soon.          

Next,  she  admitted  that  she  chose  to  give  her  power  away  to  her  relative  by  wanting  to  seem  like  the  “cool,   hip,   incredibly   helpful”   one.     It  was  Melanie  who   agreed   to   a   loan   that   she   never   should   have  taken  out  in  the  first  place.      She  also  continued  to  play  the  “Cool,  hip,  helpful”  relative  again  by  agreeing  to  that  second  loan.  

She  also  said  that  had  she  not  been  so  tied  to  this  identity  of  someone  who  always  paid  her  bills  on  time  and  in  full,  she  might  have  tried  to  explain  things  to  the  bank  or  seek  some  other  legal  remedy  before  she   started   paying   that   monthly   mortgage   payment   and   emptied   her   savings   account.       “There   was  probably  a  better  way  to  handle  this  mess  but  I  just  didn’t  look  into  it,”  she  admitted  

It  was   also   her   choice   to   not   heed  her   lawyer’s   advice   and  bring   charges   against   her   relative   and  his  partner  because  she  was  so  driven  by  wanting  her  family’s  approval.    Though  Melanie  felt  that  jail  was  what   they  deserved,   the   approval   of   her   family  was   still   too   important   for   her   to   follow  her   lawyer’s  advice.    

Seen  in  this  light,  Melanie  said  “You  know…the  victim  role  is  one  that  I  have  played  my  whole  life…  when  I  was  bullied  in  high  school,  when  I  was  diagnosed  with  an  illness  in  my  20’s,  when  my  fiance  dropped  dead.    What  my   relative   did  when   he   asked  me   to   buy   that   house   is   he   gave  me   the   opportunity   to  perpetuate  this  “poor  me”  story.    That’s  all  he  did.”    [Wow  what  a  reframe,  I  thought!!]      

This  was   a   tremendous  breakthrough  because  when  we  opened   the   session,   I   had   asked  Melanie   for  title  for  the  story  she  was  recounting  and  she  had  said  “How  I  was  fucked  over  by  my  relative!”  

It  was  only  after  she  had  this  realization  that  she  was  able  to  shift  into  compassion  for  herself  because  she  saw  so  clearly  how  her  unconscious  programs  and  paradigms  had  been  running  her.    She  was  finally  open   to   seeing   the   gift   of   this   situation/story.   She  was   also  more   open   to   seeing   herself   as   the   hero  (instead  of  the  hapless  victim).    

I  urged  her  to  see  that  the  bankruptcy  wasn’t  her  biggest  defeat.  Instead,  it  showed  just  what  a  powerful  creator  she  in  fact  was.    And  now  that  she  sees  just  what  a  powerful  creator  she  can  be,  she  can  channel  all  that  energy  and  power  into  creating  the  life  she  really  wanted.    

I  wanted  Melanie   to   see   that   the   stuck  energy   that  we  were  moving  during   this   session  was  going   to  allow  her  to  free  up  her  energy  and  her  brilliance  to  create  the  life  that  she  desired.  

We  ended  the  session  by  using  the  tapping  script  from  TIW  157-­‐8.    It  was  VERY  powerful.        We  tapped  several   times  on  how   this   event  has  prepared  her   to   soar  higher,   to   really   go   for   her   goal   of   earning  200K  a  year  as  a  coach:    “I  am  stepping  into  my  power…  I  am  owning  my  magnificent  mistakes…  I  am  a  powerful  manifestor…  and  I  am  going  for  it”    

I  could  really   feel  her  passion  and  her  excitement  build  as  we  tapped  through  the  points  on  that   final  round.      The  whole  energy  of  the  room  shifted,  opened  up  and  there  was  no  longer  this  oppressive  cloud  of  doom  or  “woe   is  me”  anymore.       In   fact,   I   swear  the  whole  room  seemed  brighter  by  the  time  our  session  ended!  

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Coaching  Session  Case  Study  5:    

Before  we  started  the  process  I  checked  in  with  Janet  about  her  week  and  she  said  she  had  a  very  good  week.  That  at  first  when  she  looked  at  her  goal  cards  she  heard  a  lot  of  her  inner  critic  talk  but  she  just  tapped  and  said  what   she  heard  out   loud  until   it  had  no  more   sting.   She  also   told  me   that   she  had  a  great  sales  week  at  work  and  had  won  a  bonus  for  having  the  highest  sales  and  she  was  over  the  moon  excited  about  it.  

I   talked   with   her   about   RTBS   and   what   that   was   and   how   important   it   is   to   retrain   our   brains   to  celebrating  success,  so  that  our  subconscious  minds  equated  action  with  pleasure  and  reward.   I  asked  her   to  come  up  with   something   that   she  could  do  as  a   little   celebration  every   time  she  accomplished  anything,  no  matter  how  small.  She   loved  the   idea  and  said  she  was  going  to  do  a   little  “come  on  get  happy”  dance.  

I  asked  her  to  close  her  eyes  and  paint  a  picture  in  her  mind  of  walking  out  on  a  big  stage  with  a  big  sign  that  had   the  amount  of  her  outrageous  goal  written  on   it.   I   told  her   that   the  audience  contained  her  family,  friends,  relatives,  ancestors,  peers,  school  friends  and  work  colleges.  I  asked  her  to  imagine  them  all  sitting  there  looking  at  her  and  had  her  say  loudly,  “I  really  want  it,  I  can  do  it,  I  deserve  it!”  I  asked  her  to  look  at  the  audience  and  tell  me  what  they  were  saying,  doing  and  how  they  looked  –  and  how  was  she  feeling?  

She  said  as  soon  as  she  walked  out  on  the  stage  she  got  very  nervous  and  as  she  looked  at  the  audience  she  got  more  and  more  anxious  and  her  stomach  was  doing  jumping  jacks.  She  kind  of  laughed  and  said  you  and  other  friends  are  in  the  audience  and  you’re  smiling  at  me  and  waving  but,  my  mother  is  angry  and   saying   you’re   too   stupid,   you   could  never  do   that.  My   father   is   looking  disgusted  and   saying   I’ve  turned   into   a   capitalist   just   like  my   grandfather.  My   grandfather   is   scowling   and   saying   “why   do   you  deserve   it”   you’re   just   a   dreamer.   She   said   the   rest   of   the   audience  wasn’t   really   doing   anything   just  sitting  there  with  no  real  reaction.  

I  told  her  that  the  reaction  of  the  audience  was  her  unconscious  mind  painting  her  a  picture  of  her  fears  and  what  her  inner  critic  says  to  her.  She  said,  “Oh  yeah  that  sure  is  the  truth.  I  try  to  push  it  aside  but  if  I  pay  attention  I  do  hear  those  things.”  

We  started  tapping  using:   there  they  are  the  audience  and  some  of  them  are  happy  and  cheering  but  there’s  my  mother  and  she  saying…….and   I’m  feeling…….   I  used  what  she  had  told  me  earlier  and  she  added  some  more  and  then  we  moved  on  to  her  father  and  grandfather  doing  the  same  thing.  We  did  quite  a  few  rounds  and  then  I  had  her  check  back  in  with  the  picture  and  she  said  there’s  some  muffled  clapping  from  some  of  the  audience  and  my  mother  is  almost  smiling  and  she’s  quiet.  My  grandmother,  father  and  grandfather  are  smiling  and  they  are  quietly  clapping.  

I  asked  her  how  she  felt  now  standing  on  the  stage  and  she  said  calm,  relaxed  and  like  I  deserve  to  be  here.  

I  told  here  again  that  that  picture  just  showed  her  what  fears,  limiting  beliefs  and  self-­‐talk  come  up  for  her  whenever  she  sets  a  big  goal  and  tried  to  move  forward.  She  said,  “No  wonder   I’ve  been  so  stuck  and  don’t  ever  seem  to  be  able  to  follow  through  with  any  of  my  desires  to  move  forward!”  

 

 

I  lead  her  through  the  tapping  in  the  book  on  pages  172,  173  and  we  ended  with  the  script  for  “more  of  your  brilliance”  

When  I  asked  her  at  the  end  where  she  was  now,  she  said  you  could  see  a  picture  in  her  mind  of  a  new  version  of  her  old  self  that  was  kind  of  shinny  and  translucent  that  was  almost  unfolding  out  of  the  body  of   her   “old   self.”   She   said   she   felt   empowered,   centered   and   ready   to   take  on   the  world   and   let   her  dreams  come  true!  

Feedback  from  Janet:  

“The  TIW  program  was  the  deepest  and  most  profound  personal  growth  work  I’ve  ever  done  –  and  I’ve  done  a  lot!  It’s  totally  changed  the  way  I  feel  and  react  to  money.  I  no  longer  wake  up  at  night  in  terror  wondering  how  will  I  ever  pay  the  bills.  I  no  longer  feel  panic  every  time  I  look  at  my  bank  account  or  pay  for  something.  Mostly  I  feel  pretty  hopeful  and  calm  about  everything.  And  the  best  part  is  my  sales  are  up  40%  since  we  did  this!”  

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Coaching  Session  Case  Study  6:    The  Financial  Trauma  had  been  picked  up  from  the  Money  Map,  related  to  the  savings  account.        He’d  had  a  relationship  that  ended  a  while  ago  from  which  he  had  never  fully  recovered.    He  described  his  partner  as  “abusive,  manipulative,  controlling,  addicted  to  drugs,  a  heavy  drinker.    She  would  pass  out  frequently  and  have  to  be  resuscitated  in  hospital  and  on  a  couple  of  occasions  brought  back  from  death.    She  couldn’t  hold  down  a  job  or  deal  with  day  to  day  things.    It  was  a  hideous  situation  –  she  was  adding   to  my   stress.     There  was   always   something.     And   I  was   supporting   her   financially   –   all   of  my  money  was  spent  on  her,  and  then  she  would  invite  her  friends  around  and  I  would  be  paying  for  them  too.      Everything  I  did  failed.”    I   asked  what  he  was   feeling  at   the   time,  whether  he  was   feeling  anger   towards  her  and  he   said   “Not  anger   -­‐   total   despair,   frustration,   disappointment   in   myself.     So   much   hurt   and   pain,   I   hated   her.     I  couldn’t  work  out  how  I  had  got  myself   into  that  position”  at  which  point  he  said  “I  think  I  am  friends  with  her  on  Facebook  –  shall  I  bring  up  her  picture?”      I  pointed  out  that  being  connected  with  her  on  Facebook  was  a  strong  sign  that  he  hadn't   let   this  go,  and  at  the  end  of  the  session  I  would  ask  him  to  un-­‐friend  this  person.    ANGER/BETRAYAL  BASED  TRAUMA  -­‐  I  asked  whether  he  was  more  angry  at  himself  or  at  his  ex,  and  he  said  “definitely  more  anger  at  myself.    I  allowed  her  to  have  a  hold  over  me”    We   started   out   with   some   tapping   on   his   ex   “There   she   is!     She’s   abusive,   she’s   controlling,   she’s  messing   up   the   house,   she’s   addicted   to   drugs,   being   resuscitated,   she’s   manipulative,   and   I’m   just  letting  her...”  etc.    I  asked  him  to  review  the  SUDs  –  was  it  any  less?    He  said  “No!    I  hate  her  even  more  now!”  so  I  asked  him  what   he   really   thinks   of   this  woman   and   he   said   “She   never   apologised!     She’s   an   asshole!     I’ve  always  had  such  a  strong  intuition  on  people  and  it  just  didn’t  work  with  her  –  I  couldn’t  see  it,  and  now  I  

 

 

am  blocking  anyone  else  coming  in.    I  feel  as  though  she  totally  broke  my  heart  and  since  that  day  I’ve  never  been  the  same”    I  led  him  through  a  short  round  of  anger  tapping  “There  she  is!      She’s  such  a  f**king  asshole!    I  f**king  hate  her!  She  never  apologised  and  she  f**king  broke  my  heart!!..”  and  after  running  out  of  phrases   I  asked  him  to  take  over,  at  which  point  he  was  calling  this  woman  all  of  the  names  under  the  sun.    What  happened  next  was  astonishing  –  he  took  a  breath  and  said  “Wow,  I  feel  totally  done  with  it.    She  holds  no  space  in  my  life  at  all.    Can  I  unfriend  him  on  Facebook  now?”    We   then   gathered   some   phrases   on   how   he   had   felt   he   had   behaved   and   what   he   couldn’t   forgive  himself   for   –   his   neediness,   his   disappointment   in   himself,   his  weakness   and   inability   to   do   anything  about  it  –  the  fact  that  he  was  literally  a  victim,  and  did  a  round  of  tapping  on  “There  I  am,  I  see  myself,  I’m  so  needy,  I  won’t  let  this  happen  again,  I  refuse  to  let  anyone  else  in,  I  refuse  to  let  anyone  break  my  heart,  I  totally  refuse  to  let  this  go,  I  allowed  her  to  have  a  hold  over  me  and  that  is  unforgivable,  I’m  not  opening   my   heart   again”     I   then   added   the   phrases   that   he   had   mentioned   before   about   losing   his  intuition.    I  then  asked  him  to  visualise  himself  at  that  younger  age  with  everything  else  going  on  around  him  and  he  appreciated  that  he  was  doing  his  best  at  the  time,  and  we  did  a  round  of  tapping  on  that.    Lesson/Gift:    When  I  asked  for  what  lesson  he  had  learned,  he  said  “I’ve  learned  that  when  I  was  in  the  middle  of  all  of  that,  I  never  really  stepped  back  and  analysed  anything.    My  self-­‐esteem  was  so  low  that  I  didn’t  think  that  I  had  a  choice.”    So  I  pointed  out  the  gift  that  now  he  could  see  that  he  does  have  a  choice,  in  future  relationships,  to  be  able  to  pull  back  from  that  which  is  not  serving  him,  and  he  agreed.    Calling:  “It’s  calling  me  to  make  more  money.    There  is  a  voice  saying  “*name*  put  your  prices  up,  stop  holding  back”.    To  be  a  bit  more  assertive.    He  then  commented  that  he  felt  as  though  something  had  really  lifted  –  there  was  a  shift  and  he  could  see  on  his  skype  screen  that  he  looked  more  boyish.    He  was  sharing  his  screen  with  me  and  bizarrely  the  image  looked  much  sharper  and  he  looked  younger!    That  night  he  had  a  dream  of  travelling  by  train  to  the  country  where  his  ex   lived,  and  handing  over  a  suitcase  filled  with  all  of  the  things  that  he  associated  with  this  person,  then  getting  back  on  the  train  and  coming  home!!      _____________________________________________________________________________________    

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  7:    

Before  we  officially  started  our  session  I  asked  Jacob  how  he  was  doing  and  how  the  week  had  been.  He  said   he   was   feeling   much   better   and   even   though   he’s   been   very   busy   with   work   he   was   using   the  tapping  almost  every  day  to  address  what  was  coming  up  for  him  in  day  to  day  life  around  money  and  he  was   feeling  extremely  empowered  because  he  had  discovered   that  he  can   tap  on  his  own  and  get  relief.   He   had   also   been   using   it   to   address   old   memories   that   we’re   coming   up   and   was   able   to  

 

 

neutralize  the  negative  charge  around  them.  He  was  surprised  and  in  awe  of  EFT’s  power  to  change  his  perception  of  the  past.  

Also,  he  shared  with  me  that  this  month  so  far  has  been  his  highest  earning  month  of  his  life!  

I  started  by  giving  him  a  little  overview  of  what  a  financial  trauma  is  and  then  said  to  him  that  basically  a  financial  trauma  is  something  that  happened  in  the  past  that  may  or  may  not  be  emotionally  traumatic  but   the  bottom   line   is  when  you   look  at  your   savings  and  or  your  debt  you   think,   “if  only   that  hadn’t  happened,  I  would  be  so  much  further  ahead.  

I  asked  him  if  anything  immediately  came  to  mind  when  he  said  the  above  statement  and  he  sat  with  it  for  a  while  and  said  that  he  couldn’t  pin  point  any  specific  memory  that  felt  like  that.  So  I  had  him  write  down  how  much  he  had   in  his   savings  which  was  0  and   then  write  down  how  much  he  would   like   to  have  in  savings  to  feel  safe  and  secure  and  then  look  at  the  savings  amount  and  say  it’s  not,   it’s  never  been  enough  and  rate  how  true  that  felt.  

It  was  a  10  and  it  made  him  feel  hopeless,  resigned  and  indifferent,  this  is  my  fate  and  I  don’t  even  care  anymore.  

When  I  asked  him  to  complete  the  sentence  this  means  I  am….,  he  said  “wired  to  be  intrinsically  poor.”  I  asked  him  how  that  statement  made  him  feel  he  said:  hopeless,  unfair,  ashamed,  and  embarrassed.  

He   has   very   emotional   and   we   started   tapping   using:   even   though   the   truth   is   I   am   wired   to   be  intrinsically  poor  and  this   is  my  reality  and  this   is  what  I’ve  been  living.  We  continued  tapping  through  the  points  using  that  statement  and  his  emotions:  it’s  so  unfair,  it’s  hopeless,  no  matter  what  I  do  I  can’t  get  ahead,  I’m  wired  to  be  poor,  this  is  my  fate,  this  is  my  reality,  it’s  never  going  to  change.  We  did  a  lot  of   tapping   he   added   in   things   like:   I’m   so   tired   of   the   struggle,   I’m   so   tired   of   fighting,   I   can’t   take   it  anymore,  I  am  fated  to  be  poor  and  in  fact  I  think  it’s  virtuous.  

We  stopped  and  I  asked  him  to  breath  and  I  asked  him  if  he  could  see  how  his  feelings  were  exactly  the  same  as  the  feeling  he  told  me  his  mother  had  when  he  was  a  small  child  and  that  these  emotions  had  been  wired  into  his  nervous  system  and  he  had  created  his  whole  life  to  match  that  paradigm.  He  totally  got  it.  

I  continued  the  tapping  with  the:  even  though  I  am  fated  to  be  poor  and  in  fact  I  think  it’s  virtuous  and  we   tapped   a   couple   of   rounds   on   that   and   then   I   asked   him   if   that   reminded   him   of   anything,   if   he  floated  back  in  time  did  he  ever  remember  feeling  like  that  as  a  child.  

He  said  oh  my  god,  I  can’t  believe  this  but  I  am  remembering  that  as  a  small  boy  of  5  I  became  obsessed  with  the  idea  of,  “I  wonder  what  poor  people  who  don’t  have  anything  do?  And  he  created  for  himself  a  picture,  what  he  called  the  worst  case  scenario  of  him  alone  in  an  empty  apartment  that  was  clean  but  had  nothing  in  it  except  construction  paper,  scissors,  crayons  and  glue  and  he  soothed  himself  with  the  knowledge  that  as  long  as  he  had  those  things  he  could  create  and  he  wouldn’t  be  bored  and  he  would  be  okay.  

I  had  him  zero  in  on  that  picture  and  fill  in  the  details  while  we  tapped  and  he  realized  that  this  was  the  template  he  created  his   life  from,  this  “worst  case  scenario”  and  that  he  equated  creativity  with  being  poor  (he  is  an  illustrator  and  photographer).  We  did  a  lot  more  tapping  a  lot  more  stuff,  tons  of  emotion  came  up.  

 

 

Where  we  got  to  in  the  end  was  he  was  able  to  see  how  as  a  5  year  old  boy  he  was  very  resourceful  and  creative  to  have  been  able  to  reassure  and  sooth  himself  this  way.  The  calling  that  he  felt  was  to  be  able  to  have  fun  creating  and  to  make  a  great  income  doing  it.    

We  honored  all  of  that  with  tapping  -­‐  all  that  he  saw  and  uncovered  today.  

When  we  finished  he  told  me  that  he  felt  like  he  had  been  given  a  great  gift  in  just  being  able  to  shine  a  light  on  all  these  dark  places  that  had  been  hidden  from  his  consciousness  but  haunting  him  and  holding  him  back.  And  that  he’s  done  a  lifetime  of  personal  growth  work  and  never  has  he  down  anything  that  made  him  feel  so  affirmed  and  deeply  understood  and  heard  as  this  work!  

_____________________________________________________________________________________  

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  8:    

I  checked  in  with  Mike  and  he  said  that  he  had  a  very  busy  week  with  work  and  hadn’t  had  much  time  for  tapping,  except  for  doing  it  a  couple  of  times  when  he  noticed  that  he  was  anxious  about  the  bills.  I  told  him  that  was  a  huge  shift  and  step  forward  for  him  and  that  he  was  actively  taking  steps  to  clear  his  programming  and  self-­‐empower  himself.  He  agreed  and  said  he  felt  pretty  good  about  himself  and  more  empowered  then  he  remembered  feeling  for  a  long  time.  

I  briefly  explained  to  him  that  we  were  going  to  set  and  outrageous  goal   for  the  purpose  of  triggering  him   and   bringing   up   his   sub-­‐conscious   reasons   for   not  making  more  money.   I   also   explained   that   his  current   level  of   income   reflected  exactly  where  he  unconsciously   felt  he   should  be  and  where  he   felt  “safe”  and  “comfortable”.  I  asked  him  to  set  a  monthly  income  goal  that  would  allow  him  to  comfortably  pay  all  his  bill,  pay  off  his  debt,  create  savings  and  give  him  money  to  play  and  enjoy  doing  the  things  he  like  to  do.  

Monthly  income  goal:  $20,000.  Asked  him  to  write  the  number  big  and  circle  it  and  say  and  rate:  

It’s  Impossible:  8  I  can  do  it:  1  Deserve  it:  5  It  will  probably  be  really  hard:  10    I  had  him  double  it.  $40,000.00  I  could  hear  the  tension  and  anxiety  in  his  voice  as  he  said  it.  I  asked  him  to  attach  some  emotions  to  the  phrases  this  time  as  he  said  them.  After  he  said  the  first  phrase  he  told  me  that  he  was  feeling  a  bit  numb  and  he  couldn’t  really  attach  any  emotions  to   it.   I   told  him  to  take  some  deep  breaths  to  look  at  the  number  and  say:  “$40,000  is  my  income  goal,  it’s  impossible.  He  was  able  to  connect  with  some  emotion  then  and  I  had  him  use  that  with  all  of  the  phrases  

It’s  Impossible:  10  –  hopeless,  tired,  don’t  care  

I  can  do  it:  0  –  pressure,  overwhelmed,  busy  beyond  sanity  

I  deserve  it:  1  –  I  would  need  to  get  lucky,  I  would  need  a  stroke  of  good  fortune.  I  asked  how  that  made  him  feel  and  he  said:  inadequate,  not  good  enough  

 

 

It  will  probably  be  really  hard:  10+  -­‐  If  I  managed  to  do  this  it  would  be  unmanageable,  it  would  take  over  my  life  and  be  completely  overwhelming  and  I  would  have  no  time  for  anything  other  than  work  and  no  fun  or  happiness.  

We  started  tapping  using:  Even  though  I  set  this  income  goal  of  $40,000  and  it’s  impossible,  it’s  crazy,  I  can   never   do   it   and   if   I   did   it   would   totally   take   over   my   life   and   I   would   have   no   time,   no   fun,   no  happiness  –  and  that’s  the  truth  about  how  I  feel  and  no  wonder  I  don’t  want  to  make  more  money.  He  was  grunting  his  agreement  and  sighing.    

We  did   lots  of  rounds  using  all  of   the  statements  and  feelings  he  gave  me  and  then   I  checked  back   in  with  where  he  was  on   the   initial   statements  and  he  said   that  at   the  end  of  our   tapping  he  started   to  realize  that  he  saw  a  glimmer  of  it  could  be  possible  if  he  could  come  up  with  an  innovative  and  creative  enough  idea  but  that  other  people  had  ideas,  but  not  him.  He  was  too  old  and  his  ideas  weren’t  relevant  to  the  world  in  2014.  That  he  was  just  a  craftsman  making  a  craftsman  income.  I  asked  him  what  kind  of  feelings  went  along  with  all  of  that  and  he  said:  I  feel  sorry  for  myself  and  embarrassed  and  inadequate.  

We   tapped   with   all   of   that   and   then   he   said   it   feels   like   I   am   working   desperately   to   maintain   my  insufficient   craftsman’s   income.  We   tapped  with   that   and  what   came  up  was:   I   don’t   believe   that  my  ideas  are  valuable  enough,  I’m  not  an  innovator  or  an  entrepreneur,  I’m  just  an  old  creative,  lazy,  hippy  who  doesn’t  want  to  work  hard  but  wants  to  have  fun.  

I   asked  him   if   that   reminded  him  of  anything  and  he   said,   yes,  when   I  was  a   kid   I   always  asked   if  we  could  do  something  fun  and   I  would  get   in  trouble  and  get  punished,  so   I  stopped  asking  but   I  always  was  thinking,  “why  does  it  always  have  to  be  hard  work,  why  can’t  we  just  have  fun?”    

We  tapped  on  that  having  him  focus  in  on  a  scene  from  his  childhood.  Then  I  asked  him  if  he  could  see  how  he  equated  “work”  with  hard  and  “no  fun”,  how  that  was  the  reality  he  witnessed  with  his  mother  and  even  though  he  took  a  vow  that  it  would  never  be  like  that  with  him  that  he  had  created  a  constant  battle  where  he  worked  for  a  bit  made  some  money  but   it  was  so  hard  and  it  took  over  his  whole   life  and  the  pressure  was  so  great  and  he  allowed  himself  no  fun  –  and  then  he  rebelled  and  didn’t  take  jobs  and  just  enjoyed  himself  and  had  fun  until  he  was  broke  again  and  needed  to  work  to  make  money  to  survive.  

He  totally  saw   it  and  started  crying  and  we  did  more  tapping  around  how  that’s  what  he   learned  and  that’s  what  he’s  been  doing  his  whole  life  and  after  a  lot  of  tapping  I  suggested  that  maybe  even  though  he  always  did  it  that  way,  that  may  be  he  hold  be  open  to  finding  a  different  way.  As  we  tapped  with  the  idea  of  new  possibilities  he  told  me  that  he  saw  a  beautiful  vision  of  him   in  charge  of  a   large  creative  endeavor  and  he  was  working  and  co-­‐creating  with  a  group  of  amazing  people  and  they  were  laughing  and  having  a  wonderful  time  and  that  the  vision  gave  him  hope  and  inspiration  that  maybe  things  could  really  be  different  for  him.  

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Coaching  Session  Case  Study  9:    

“Beth”  is  a  licensed  social  worker.  Up  until  2  years  ago,  she  had  been  practicing  in  a  clinic.  The  clinic  took  a   percentage   of   the  money   received   from   her   clients.   She  was   frustrated  with   this  model   and   really  wanted  to  “make  it  on  her  own.”  She  does  have  many  clients,  but  not  enough  to  bring  in  the  amount  of  

 

 

money   she  would   like   to  make.   The   following   is   information   gathered   during   her   initial  Money  Map  session.    

Savings  Account:  Beth  connected  with,  but  did  not  share  the  exact  dollar  amount  in  her  savings  account.  When   she   connected   to   it   she   felt:   really   sad,   had   a   “bad”   tingling   sensation   in   her   entire   body,   she  wanted   to   cry,   felt   trapped   and   felt   behind   from  where   she  wanted   to   be   and   her   heart   was  mildly  racing.  Her  habitual  thoughts  were:  “I’ll  never  catch  up!”,  “I’m  sinking”  and  “OMG!  That’s  SO  pathetic!”    She  finished  the  statement:  “This  means  I’m  “worthless.”    

She   did   have   trauma   associated   with   her   savings   account.   Growing   up   she   always   wanted   to   be   an  actress.   She   worked   hard   at   it,   took   classes   and   really   enjoyed   being   on   the   stage.   She   clearly  remembers  an  older  actor  saying  to  her:  “This  is  a  tough  profession  and  it’s  impossible  to  make  a  living  at  it.  Are  you  willing  to  be  broke?”  Her  answer  to  him:  Yes!”  She  is  no  longer  pursuing  an  acting  career  and  she  really  loves  the  healing  work  she  does  now.  She  has  often  said  to  people,  “Even  if  I  don’t  have  any  money,   at   least   I’m  pursuing  my  passion.”  As  her   coach,   I   helped  her   to   see  how  her   saying   that  today,  directly  relates  to  her  days  of  acting.  And  the  message  she  is  putting  out  to  the  Universe  is:  “I’m  willing  to  be  broke  as  long  as  I  am  doing  something  I  love  to  do.”    This  was  an  incredible  A-­‐ha  moment  for  her  as  she  never  connected  the  two  experiences  before.  Part  of  her  homework  was  to  consciously  pay  attention  to  the  number  of  times  she  thought  or  said  to  others:  “Even  if  I  don’t  have  any  money,  at  least   I’m   pursuing  my   passion.”   And,   every   time   she   did   catch   herself,   she  was   going   to   say   “Cancel  Cancel!”   and   then   follow   that   up  with   a   positive   affirmation  of   her   choosing.   (As   a   side   note,   Beth   is  happy   to   report   that   she   has   totally   shifted   out   of   this   old  mindset.   She   no   longer   thinks   about   that  negative  thought  pattern  and  laughs  out  loud  at  how  absurd  it  was!!)    

Debt:  The  next  form  of  money  we  discussed  was  Beth’s  debt.  Again,  she  connected  to  it,  but  did  not  tell  me   the   exact   amount   of   debt   she   had   incurred.  When   she   connected   to   it,   she   felt:   horrible,   angry,  resentful,  completely  pissed  off!  Her  habitual  thoughts  were:  “I’ve  got  nothing  to  show  for  all  this  debt.”  “I’m  hanging  on  the  edge.”  “I’ll  never  catch  up!”  “How  the  hell  are  we  going  to  get  that  back  to  zero?!”  And  in  regard  to  additional  money  that  has  been  spent,  “That  was  my  life  preserver  and  now  it’s  taken  away.   There’s   hardly   anything   left.”   When   asked   to   finish   this   statement:   “This   means   I’m…..”   She  responded  with,  “I’m  sinking  and  I’ll  never  catch  up.  I  blew  it!”    

Two  different  traumas  came  up  when  Beth  connected  to  her  debt.  The  first  one  had  to  do  with  a  special,  expensive  gift  a  relative  had  given  her  as  a  kid.  It  was  a  piece  of  jewelry  symbolizing  “Life”.    She  lost  it  and   felt  horrible.  She  still   feels   so  sad  when  she   thinks  about   it   today.  When   I  dug  a   little   further  she  stated,  “I  lost  something  of  value.  I  couldn’t  be  trusted  with  such  an  expensive  gift.”    Beth  started  crying  connecting  to  this  memory  so  I  immediately  began  some  tapping  with  her.  I  didn’t  want  her  emotions  to  get  in  the  way  of  our  continuing  her  Money  Map.  The  tapping  I  did  was  mostly,  “I  lost  so  much…..the  day  I   lost   that   jewelry   I   lost   so   much……how   could   I   be   so   careless……I   can’t   be   trusted   with   anything  valuable….I  don’t  deserve  expensive  gifts…..”,  etc.      At   the  end  Beth  was  more  compassionate   toward  her  younger  self.  She  didn’t  mean  to  lose  it  of  course  and  she  could  see  that  her  relative  continued  to  love  her  even  after  the  loss.  She  also  had  another  A-­‐ha  moment.  She  recognized  that  even  today  she  is  fearful  if  someone  buys  her  an  expensive  piece  of  jewelry.  Instead  of  fully  appreciating  and  loving  it,  she  is  filled  with  guilt  and  anxiety  around  losing  it.  

The  2nd  trauma  occurred  when  she  was  in  high  school.  She  had  a  friend  over  after  school  and  they  were  in  the  kitchen  chatting  and  enjoying  eating  a  snack.  Her  dad  walked  in,  saw  them  and  immediately  got  

 

 

angry.  The  snack   they  were  eating  was  expensive  and  her  dad  didn’t  want  her  sharing   it  with   friends.  What  Beth   took  away   from  this  experience  was,  “I  did  something  wrong”   (again  around  something  of  “value”).    I  helped  her  to  see  that  today,  she  is  not  valuing  her  own  gifts,  the  amazing  work  she  brings  to  others.  Remember,   she  was  happy   to  be  doing  work  she   loved,  even   if   it  meant  not  getting  paid  very  much  for   it!  She  totally  resonated  with  this  and  it  made  her  cry  thinking  about  how  much  she  doesn’t  value  the  service  she  provides  to  others.  At  the  end  of  the  session  when  we  did  some  tapping  I  had  her  close  her  eyes.  I  asked  her  to  see  herself  and  her  friend  eating  the  snack.  To  see  her  dad  getting  angry  and  yelling  at  her.  I  asked  her  what  her  inner  teen  needed  from  her  dad  in  that  moment.  She  hated  that  her   dad   had   embarrassed   her   in   front   of   her   friend.   Beth   finally   got   to   a   place   where   her   dad   was  apologizing  and  gently  explaining  why  he  wanted  the  snacks  saved  for  the  family.  Beth  started  laughing  when  in  her  visualization  she,  her  friend  and  her  dad  started  throwing  the  expensive  snack  at  each  other  while  laughing  and  having  fun.    :-­‐D    

Income:  The  next  form  of  money  we  discussed  was  Beth’s  income.  I  had  her  write  it  down  on  a  piece  of  paper  and  then  say,  “It’s  not  enough!”  She  rated  that  statement  as  true.  A  10  on  a  scale  of  0-­‐10  (where  10   =   very   true).   I   asked   her   how   it  made   her   feel,   both   emotionally   and   physically   in   her   body.   She  responded,  “I  feel  really  bad,  tired,  it’s  so  pathetic,  makes  me  feel  exhausted  as  so  much  effort  goes  into  making  so  little  money,  I’m  frustrated!!”  Her  habitual  thoughts  are:  “Why  can  I  not  make  more  money?”  “How   come   it’s   so  much   easier   for   everyone   else   to   make  money?”   “I’m   permanently   stuck”   “It’s   a  pathetic  number  and  I  can’t  get  past  it  no  matter  what  I  do.”!  !  I  asked  Beth  what  her  dad’s  energy  was  around  money.   She   shared   that  her  dad  was   very  practical  when   it   came   to  money.  He  bought   them  what  they  needed,  but  not  what  the  kids  wanted.  He  didn’t  indulge  at  all.  Often  he  would  tell  Beth,  “No,  you  don’t  need  that.”  It  wasn’t  ever  really  discussed  any  further  than  that.  I  helped  her  to  see  that  what  she  took  away  from  this  experience  was:  Even  though  you  love  something  and  really  want  it,  you  don’t  have   to   have   it.   That   it’s   not   ok   to   have   wants   or   needs   that   are   different   than   just   survival   needs.  Money  is  just  for  what  you  need.    

I   asked   her   how   she   felt   today   if   she   decided   to   “splurge”   and   purchase   something   she  wanted,   but  didn’t  really  need.  She  said  when  she  first  buys  it,  she  feels  wonderful.  It  makes  her  happy.  But  not  long  after  that  she  begins  to  feel  very  guilty.  She  tells  herself,  “I  shouldn’t  have  done  that.”  I  pointed  out  to  her  that  it’s  possible  that  she  is  being  loyal  to  her  dad  in  making  “just  enough”  money  today  to  pay  for  her  families  “needs”.  (Her  paycheck  goes  toward  the  groceries,  gas,  music  lessons,  etc).  She  was  shocked  to  hear  this  and  even  more  shocked  when  she  realized  it  was  true!!    Even  though  she  hated  her  dad’s  view  of  money  growing  up,  she  can  see  how  she  holds  some  of  those  beliefs  even  today.  And  she  limits  how  much  money   she   can  make,   because   her   subconscious   belief   is   that  money   is   just   for  what   you  need.  You  don’t  need  to  make  more  money,  because  it’s  not  safe  to  have  wants  and  needs.    

Mom  had  a  different  approach  to  money.  She  didn’t  want  to  worry  about  it.  She  wanted  to  make  it  so  you  could  save   it,  but  also  have  some  fun  with   it.  Beth   laughed  when  she  realized  that  she  WANTS  to  have  mom’s   view   of  money,   and   that   is   what   she   strives   for   today,   but   it’s   dad’s   view   that   has   the  biggest   “hold”   on   her,   that   triggers   her   the  most.   (I   didn’t   go  much   deeper   into   this  with   her   at   this  point.   I   knew   more   would   come   out   when   we   did   the   family   paradigm   around   money   in   the   next  session).    

When  asked  to   look  at  her  current   income  again  and  finish  this  statement,  Beth  said:  “This  means….   I  must   be   doing   something   wrong.   If   I   was   really   good   at   what   I   did,   I’d   be   making   more   money.”     I  

 

 

pointed  out  to  her  that  when  we  went  over  the  kind  of  money  called  Debt,  she  had  also  communicated  the  belief  that  she  “did  something  wrong.”    It  was  a  great  A-­‐ha  moment  for  her  to  see  the  connection  to  her  money  situation  and  the  belief  that  when  it  comes  to  money  (or  anything  of  value),  she’s  not  making  more  because  she  believes  she’s  “doing  something  “wrong”  and  therefore  she  blocks  more  money  (and  abundance  in  general)  from  flowing  to  her.  

Income   Goals:   I   asked   Beth   to   look   once   again   at   her   income.   This   time   I   asked   her   to   double   the  amount  of   her   income.   She   really   liked   that!   It  made  her   “feel   good,   like   I’m  moving   forward   toward  where  I  want  to  be,  I  feel  more  ease  and  freedom,  it  feels  so  great  to  know  I’m  moving  toward  this!”  She  was  loving  this  new  income  goal  and  I  asked  her  to  finish  the  statement:  “The  truth  is  that’s…  “What  I  want!!”     I  asked  her  to   look  at  her  goal  again  and  say  out   loud,  “It’s   impossible”.  She  then  stated  that  that  felt  true  at  about  a  5  out  of  10  scale.  I  explained  to  her  what  that  meant  was  that  50%  of  her  felt  the   income   goal   was   possible,   and   another   50%   of   her   thought   it   was   impossible   to   achieve.   I   also  pointed  out  that  if  she  really  wanted  this  income  goal,  she  would  already  be  making  it.  I  asked  her  how  she  felt  about  all  of  this  and  she  replied,  “I’m  sad  that  a  part  of  me  feels  that  it’s  impossible.  Oh  fuck!!”    The   “feel   good”   emotions   she   first   felt  when   looking   at   this   income   goal   had   quickly   faded   for   her.   I  asked  her  to  think  about  her  large  income  goal  and  how  her  parents  might  view  that.  She  stated  that  if  her   dad   looked   at   her   income  goal,   she  wouldn’t   even   get  what   the  $   amount  meant.   I   asked  her   to  expand  on  that  and  she  shared  the  following.  Beth’s  dad  used  to  hang  out  at   the   law   library  when  he  was   in   college.   He   was   intent   on   meeting   a   woman   there.   His   belief   was   that   he   needed   to   marry  someone   with   money   because   he   had   grown   up   poor.   When   asked   how   that   made   Beth   feel,   she  responded  that  it  made  her  feel  both  sad  and  angry.  Sad  that  her  father  didn’t  believe  in  his  own  ability  to  make  a  living  and  angry  that  today,  Beth  has  a  belief  that  her  dad  doesn’t  believe  in  Beth’s  ability  to  make  a  good  living.      

Beth  believed  her  mom  would  look  at  her  income  goal  and  think,  “Good  for  you.  You’re  doing  what  you  love,  but  it’s  not  a  lot  of  money.  It’s  pretty  tough  to  make  a  lot  of  money  doing  what  you  do.”    I  asked  Beth  how  this  made  her  feel  and  again,  it  made  her  very  angry.  It  made  her  feel  like  her  parents  want  to  support  her   in  her  work,  yet  they  really  don’t  believe  she  can  do  it.   I  pointed  out  to  her  that   it’s  quite  possible  that  she  is  projecting  her  own  feelings  onto  her  parents.  That  she  herself  doesn’t  fully  believe  she  can  make  good  money  doing  what  she  loves.  This  brought  up  a  lot  of  sadness  for  her  and  she  had  an  amazing  A-­‐ha  moment!  She  realized  that  when  she  met  her  husband,  he  had  a  really  good  job  and  he  made  a  lot  of  money.  She  softly  stated,  “He  took  care  of  me.”    

Beth’s  been  angry  at  her  dad  for  years  for  his  beliefs  around  money,  and  his  ability  or  inability  to  believe  he  can  take  care  of  himself.  Beth  realized  for  the  first  time  that  she’s  a   lot   like  her  father.  Needless  to  say,  at  this  point  Beth  was  pretty  emotional  and  feeling  very  tired.  She  did  not  believe  she  had  any  Toxic  Money  issues,  so  we  ended  the  session  with  some  tapping.    

In   the   tapping,   I   included   the   above   stated   emotions   and  habitual   thought   patterns   that   her   nervous  system  was  hard  wired  with  around  money.  We  also  tapped  on  the  anger  and  sadness  she  felt  toward  her  father.  And,  anger  at  herself  for  not  valuing  her  work  or  even  believing  in  her  ability  to  make  a  good  income  doing  what  she  loved.  I  specifically  emphasized  her  “learned”  belief  around  “Even  if  I  don’t  have  any  money,  at  least  I’m  pursuing  my  passion.”    

The   realization  of   this  belief  and   recognition  of  how  often  Beth  says   it   today  was  huge  and  she   really  wanted   to   shift   this   one   quickly!   She  was   “blown   away”  with   her  Money  Map   session   and   could   not  

 

 

thank   me   enough.   I   sent   her   a   personalized   tapping   script   that   was   very   similar   to   the   tapping  mentioned  above.  Her  homework  was  to  tap  the  script  at  least  once  a  day,  paying  attention  to  how  she  felt   during   the   tapping,   and   tapping   on   anything   new   that   came   up   for   her.   She   agreed   to   do   the  homework  and  is  more  than  excited  to  continue  on  with  the  Tapping  Into  Wealth  sessions!  

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Coaching  Session  Case  Study  10:    SAVINGS:  Bill   shared  with  me   the  amount  of  money   in  his   savings  account   ($500).  He   claimed   it   to  be  a  dismal  amount,  exclaiming:  "What  savings  account?"  There  was  pressure  in  his  upper  chest  and  heart  area  as  he  expressed  his  panic  and  his  need  to  have  a  "whole  lot  more."  The  thought  in  his  head  was:  "Holy  shit,  I'm  screwed."    I   asked   Bill   if   his   panic   reminded   him   of   any   time   in   his   past   and   I   asked  when/where   did   the   panic  around  finances  begin.    Bill  expressed  that  he  never  felt  safe  as  a  child;  his  entire  upbringing  was  tumultuous;  his  parents  were  not  loving  or  available,  in  fact,  often  Bill  was  the  caretaker  for  his  younger  siblings.    His   father,   once   a   prosperous   plumber  with   extra   funds   always   stashed   in   a   drawer,  was   injured   and  disabled  at  work.  The  family  went  from  wealth  to  total  financial  demise.  (Bill  believes  that  his  father's  accident  at  work  was  really  self-­‐sabotage  and  that  his  dad  created  his  own  demise,  perhaps  acting  out  of  his  programming  for  failure.)    Bill's  emotional  reaction  was  one  of  fear  and  anger  (the  energetic  imprint  of  his  dad's.)    "Not  having  enough  is  darn  scary."    I  asked  Bill  to  look  again  at  his  $500  in  savings.    He  commented:  "I'm  a  loser  and  I  don't  deserve  any  more."    He  claimed  that  these  thoughts  were  the  offering  of  his  father.    We  briefly  tapped  on  Bill's  feelings  of  unworthiness  before  moving  on  to  the  second  type  of  money.    DEBT:  Bill  chose  to  include  his  second  mortgage  in  his  declaration  of  bad  debt  totaling  $60,000.    When  stating  his  debt,  his  primary  feeling  was  one  of  panic  felt  in  his  heart.    His  head  repeated  the  thought:  "I'm  never  going  to  be  able  to  pay  it  off."    A  deep  feeling  of  sadness  prevailed.    

 

 

I  asked  if  this  situation  reminded  him  of  a  situation  in  the  past.    He  was  reminded  of  a  business  betrayal,  a  time  when  a  business  partner  left  him  with  a  huge  amount  of  business  debt  and  he  ended  up  in  bankruptcy.    "This  does  not  feel  good  and  this  means  I'm  right  where  I  deserve  to  be"  he  exclaimed  re-­‐expressing  his  sense  of  unworthiness.      INCOME  and  INCOME  GOAL:  Bill  earns  $30,000  a  year  and  "It's  definitely  not  enough."    The  sadness  is  overwhelming  as  he  states:  "I'm  going  to  end  up  working  until  the  day  I  die."    (The  cause  for  this  underlying  sadness  is  revealed  at  a  later  date  as  is  the  true  meaning  of  the  words  "I'm  going  to  end  up  working  until  the  day  I  die.")    When  Bill's  dad  was  injured  and  unemployed  there  was  never  enough  ...  always  lack,  and  always  work,  work,  work.    In  an  attempt  to  go  deeper,  I  asked  Bill  where  his  mother  was  in  all  of  this.    His  primary  memory  of  his  mom,  at  that  time,  was  of  her  being  chronically  depressed  and  hiding  in  bed  from   the   world.   Bill,   the   oldest   of   four   children,   was   often   the   primary   caretaker   of   his   siblings   and  himself.    I  had  Bill  repeat  his  income  amount  of  $30,000  and  then  his  resounding  "This  means  that  I  am  not  worth  any  more  than  that."    When  I  asked  him  to  double  his  income  number  to  $60,000  as  an  income  goal  he  felt  that  it  was  indeed  do-­‐able  and  stated  "I  know  I  can  do  it."    In  fact,  he  wanted  for  the  amount  to  be  even  higher.    After   just   hearing   him   express   that   he  was   not   “deserving,”   I   felt   that   his   belief   that   he   could   easily  double  his  income  was  a  bit  incongruent!!  The  message  was  confusing  ...  I  am  not  worthy  of  $30,000  but  I  know  I  can  make  $60,000.    Reconsidering   $60,000   again   and   even   considering   $160,000   he   continued   to   state:  "I  know  I  can  do  it."    I  asked  him  to  say:  "It's  impossible.  I  will  fail.  I  only  deserve  $30,000"  and  I  asked  him  what  his  parents  would  say  if  he  claimed  his  goal  of  $60,000  or  more.    Having  actually  had  such  a  conversation  with  his  dad,  his  dad's  reply  was:  "What  makes  you  think  you  deserve  that  much?"    

 

 

I  then  asked  him  "What  makes  you  think  you  deserve  that  much?"  and  his  reply  was:  "I'm  very  good  at  what  I  do!"    From  my  perspective  -­‐  more  incongruity  …    I   gave   Bill   the   homework   assignment   of   determining   10   reasons   that   he   deserved   $60,000+   per   year  income.    TOXIC  MONEY:  Bill   does   not   believe   that   he   has   any   toxic   money   issues.   He   was,   however,   triggered   by   his   own  statement:  "Up  until  the  divorce,  I  was  making  really  good  money  and  I  was  on  an  upward  career  track."  All  that  exploded  with  his  divorce.  He  had  a  huge  sense  of  failure  and  he  felt  that  G*d  had  failed  him  in  not  answering  his  prayers  to  save  his  marriage.  Bill  saw  himself  as  bad,  and  G*d  as  bad  ...  he  had  failed  himself  and  G*d  had  failed  him  as  well.      From  there  we  tapped  on  unworthiness.    I  guided  him  through  some  tapping  on  his  comfort  zone  of  feeling  unworthy  and  the  difficulty  of  loving  himself.    "Who  would  I  be  if  I  owned  my  worthiness?"  His  nervous  system  was  wired  to  react  with  panic  and  sadness  and  the  feelings  of  failure  and  grief.  We  tapped  on  these  feelings  in  his  chest,  his  stomach,  his  heart  and  every  cell  in  his  body.  These  feelings  hurt  but  he  proved  them  over  and  over  again.  "I'm  unworthy;  I'm  a  loser."  Moving  from  there  to  considering  being  open  to  observing  these  feelings  rather  than  owning  them  and  perhaps  rewiring  the  habitual  thoughts.    It  was  time  for  Bill  to  raise  his  consciousness  and  his  vibration  and  own  his  power,  which  he  did  valiantly.  We  ended  the  Money  Map  session  with  him  feeling  empowered  and  worthy  and  with  my  promise  of  a  follow-­‐up  session  to  check-­‐in  on  his  progress.    FOLLOW-­‐UP:  In   a   follow-­‐up   session   reviewing   the  Money  Map   procedure  we   explored   the   financial   significance   of  Bill's  divorce.  He  saw  his  divorce  as  a  huge  "failure"  even   though  he   is   in  a  better   (but   less   financially  fruitful)  marriage  today.  The  marriage  represented  relational  failure  and  financial  failure  (and  G*d's  failure  as  well).  Big  stuff  to  tap  on!  There  was  lots  of  grief  and  sadness  and  the  underlying  energy  of  unworthiness.  "Ever   since  my   divorce   I've   never   been   able   to   tap   into  my  wealth."   …   "Nothing   I   ever   did  was   good  enough"  (from  childhood)  and  "I'm  not  good  enough."    I   observed   and   commented   on   Bill   living   in   a  world   of   opposing   beliefs,   of   contrasting   and   opposing  thoughts.  Comments  from  his  dad  such  as:  "What  makes  you  think  you  deserve  anything  good?”  and  "Who  the  hell  do  you  think  you  are?"  that  continue  to  resound  in  his  head  and  heart,  versus  the  belief  that  "I  am  really  good  at  what  I  do"  and  an  air  of  confidence.    From  there  he  shared  that  as  a  child  he  was  easily  bored  and  was  defined  as  a  "chronic  under-­‐achiever."  Once  Bill  determined  that  he  could  do  something  well  he  became  bored  with  it  and  lost  interest.  He  was  always  told  that  he  could  be  so  much  better,  so  much  more  ...  but  he  did  not  care.  

 

 

 The  breakthrough  here  was  acknowledging  that  he  had  never  been  doing  what  he  really  wanted  to  do  ...  so  why  bother?    He  just  wanted  permission  to  be  himself  not  to  be  placed  in  the  proverbial  boxes  provided  in  school.  We  tapped  on  determining  what  brings  him  satisfaction  and  what  will  radiate  the  truth  of  his  being  and  what  is  his  true  calling.    So,  bringing  this  back  to  the  Money  Map,  we  tapped  on  "The  truth  is  every  time  I  think  about  money,  I  get  confused."  "The  more  worthy  I  feel,  the  more  clarity  I  will  have  about  what  I  truly  want."  "I  have  to  feel  worthy  to  do  what  I  want  to  do  or  'why  bother'?"  "What  brings  me  joy  makes  me  feel  worthy."    Bill   was   able   to   release   his   limiting   beliefs   of   unworthiness   and   determine   that   he   is   actually   a  remarkable  and  very  lovable  and  loving  man!!    _____________________________________________________________________________________  

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  11:    

I  had  the  client  take  some  deep  breaths  and  go  back  into  the  visualization  and  see  himself  driving  up  to  his  parents’  house  in  his  big  fancy  car,  all  dressed  up,  etc.  and  to  notice  what  happens.    

He  first  noticed  his  Dad  looking  at  him  with  disgust  and  saying  “Who  the  hell  do  you  think  you  are?  You  probably  think  you  are  better  than  me  and  your  mother.”  I  asked  him  how  that  made  him  feel  and  he  said   very,   very   sad  and   said  he   realized   that  no  matter  what  he  did  he  would  never  have  his   father’s  approval.  I  asked  him  if  his  father’s  approval  was  important  to  him  and  he  said  it  was.      

I  also  asked  him  about  his  mother,  what  his  mother  was  doing  or  what  was  she  saying.    He  said  she  just  gave  him  a  hug  and  a  kiss  on  the  cheek.    He  said  she  was  neither  happy  nor  sad  for  him.      

I  asked  him  to  go   into  the  picture  and   just   imagine  him  telling  his   father   that  he  was  only  working  30  hours  a  week  and   tell  me  his   father’s   reaction.    He  said   the   first   thing  he  heard  was  his   father   saying  “there  is  no  way  you  can  only  work  30  hours  a  week  and  be  able  to  drive  that  kind  of  car.  What  else  are  you  doing  to  get  the  money?”  I  asked  the  client  how  that  made  him  feel  to  hear  his  father  say  that  to  him  and  he  said  it  felt  hurt  and  angry  that  his  Dad  had  no  more  faith  in  him  than  that.        

I  took  the  client  through  some  tapping,  using  the  Tapping  on  Page  71  –  73  as  my  guide  but  changing  up  the  words  to  incorporate  the  client’s  feelings  of  hurt  and  anger.    We  did  a  couple  of  rounds  of  tapping  and  when  I  asked  the  client  how  he  felt  he  said  “free.”      

I   wish   I   could   adequately   describe   the   way   he   said   “free”   at   that   moment   but   it   was   pure   clarity,  understanding  and  release  for  the  client.     It  was  a  wow  moment  for  me  as  a  coach  as  well  to  hear  the  release  in  the  client’s  voice.    I  emailed  the  client  a  follow-­‐up  tapping  script  of  what  we  had  worked  on  so  that  the  client  could  continue  to  work  on  those  feelings,  as  he  was  feeling  a  little  tired  and  drained  from  the  emotional  release  of  the  session.    

_____________________________________________________________________________________  

 

 

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  12:    Stacy  has  just  retired  from  her  job  after  working  for  the  Government  for  the  past  28  years.  Despite  being  very  intelligent,  ambitious  and  hardworking,  Stacy  has  experienced  financial  difficulties  through  much  of  her   career.   Due   to   her   dire   financial   situation   upon   retiring,   Stacy   has   begun   to   work   part-­‐time   to  supplement  her  retirement  pension.      The  following  is  Stacy's  Money  Map:      1.  Savings:  -­‐  $2500  (minus  $2500)    Feelings:  She  reports  feelings  of  profound  sadness  and  disappointment.    Thoughts:  She  reported  these  beliefs  (when  asked  to  complete  the  phrase)  “This  means  I'm  inadequate,  a  failure...  I  worked  for  28  years  for  the  Government,  and  what  do  I  have  to  show  for  it?  Not  only  do  I  not  have  a  nest  egg  as  I  move  into  my  retirement,  but  I  am  in  debt  and  on  the  verge  of  bankruptcy."      When   I   told   Stacy   that   her   savings   represented   security   and   sense   of   safety,   this   was   a   major   aha  moment,   and   she   shared   with   me   that   she   has   experienced     a   huge   void   of   safety   and   security  throughout  much  of  her  adult  life.  She  reported  that  she  had  been  previously  married  to  an  abusive  man  who  was  addicted  to  drugs;  he  did  not  work,  so  he  would  regularly  squander  her  money  and  pawn  her  possessions;  and  each  time  she  attempted  to  leave  him,  he  would  threaten  to  harm  her,  which  kept  her  imprisoned  for  years  in  this  unhappy  marriage.  Stacy  described  her  role  in  the  marriage  as  "paying  the  bills,  cleaning  up  the  messes  and  picking  up  the  pieces"  as  her  husband  went  on  one  rampage  of  self-­‐destruction  after  another,  and  each  time,  she  lost  more  and  more  of  her  savings  until  nothing  was  left.  Stacy  was  eventually  able  to  "escape"  the  marriage  and  she  has  since  remarried,  but  even  for  years  after  she  left  her  first  husband,  she  lived  in  terror  that  he  might  find  her  and  of  what  he  would  do  if  he  did  find   her.  When   I   shared   with   Stacy   that   each   time   she   thinks   of   her   savings,   she   has   all   these   very  intense  feelings  and  thoughts  running  through  her  nervous  system  of  feeling  unsafe,  unsupported  and  not  taken  care  of-­‐  her  eyes  widened,  she  nodded  profusely  and  said  that  is  sooooo  true!  This  insight  was  tremendously   validating   for   her.   She   was   amazed   to   see   the   connection   between   feeling   unsafe,  unsupported,  and  never  taken  care  of,  and  being  unable  to  save.    2.  Debt:  $55,000      Feelings:  Stacy  reports  feeling  overwhelm,  panic,  terror,  and  intense  anxiety.    Stacy   reiterated   that  despite  working   for  28   years   for   the  Government,  not  only  does   she  not  have  a  nest  egg,  but  she  is   in  debt  and  on  the  verge  of  bankruptcy.  She  reports  that  only  weeks  ago,  she  met  with  a  bankruptcy  trustee  as  her  many  debts  have  been  handed  over  to  a  collections  agency,  and  she  is  doing  everything  she  can  (including  starting  a  new  part-­‐time  job)  to  avoid  going  into  bankruptcy.  While  she  is  hopeful  that  she  can  reverse  her  bleak  circumstances,  she  is  also  feeling  panic  and  terror  that  she  may  not.      She   expressed   frustration   that   despite   attending   courses,   participating   in   professional   development  activities,   volunteering   on   boards   and   committees,   and   working   overtime,   she   has   sunk   farther   and  

 

 

farther  into  debt.  She  expressed  frustration  that  even  after  a  lifetime  of  hard  work,  she  has  never  gotten  ahead,  and  yet  again,  she  is  again  having  to  start  over  from  scratch.    She  had  a  major  aha  moment  when  I  asked  her  if  thinking  about  her  debt  reminded  her  of  an  event  in  the  past   or   a   time   in   the  past  where   there  was   conflict,   a   battle,   a   betrayal,   or   a   time  when   she  has  never  forgiven  herself  or  someone  else.  This  again  led  to  a  discussion  of  being  married  to  a  manipulative  and  abusive  drug-­‐addicted  husband  and  the  many  years  she  lived  in  terror  before  finally  cultivating  the  confidence  and  resources  to  leave  him  and  start  over;  and  even  after  leaving  her  husband,  she  lived  in  terror   that   he   might   find   her.   Stacy   since   remarried   a   man   who   is   unable   to   work   and   although   he  receives  a  very  small  disability  pension,  it  is  not  enough  to  make  a  dent  in  their  debt.    Thoughts:   When   I   asked   Stacy   to   complete   the   sentence,   "This   means   I'm   ____,"   she   actually    acknowledged     her     strength,   resourcefulness   and   determination   by   stating   that   this   means   I   am   a  survivor  and  I  will  do  what  it  takes  to  take  care  of  myself  and  my  family.  She  recognizes  the  huge  price  she   paid   by   remaining   as   long   as   she   did   in   her   past   marriage,   and   the   trauma   that   it   caused   her;  however,  she  stated  that  she  could  not  leave  the  marriage  until  she  was  assured  that  she  would  be  safe  and   her   identity   protected,   as   her   fear   and   terror   of   being   in   that   relationship   was   so   intense.   This  theme  of  Stacy's  past  trauma  will  be  elaborated  upon  in  a  later  process  in  this  paper.        3.  Income:  $1500  bi-­‐weekly    Feelings:  She  expressed  feelings  of  anger,  disappointment,  regret  and  betrayal  when  thinking  about  her  income.    She  states  that  while  working  for  the  government,  "I  did  everything  that  I  was  asked  to  do  and  more,  I  jumped   through   hoops   and   made   sacrifices   that   affected   not   only   me   but   my   family   as   well,   I   kept  waiting   for   the   reward...   the  promotion,   the  bonus,  even  a  pat  on   the  back,  but   they  kept  moving   the  carrot  to  get  me  to  where  they  wanted  me  to  be,  to  get  me  to  do  more  and  more".  Finally  after  28  years  of   service,   Stacy   retired   from   her   job   feeling   angry,   disappointed,   deflated   and   betrayed   by   the  organization  that  she  had  invested  so  much  into  for  so  many  years.      Thoughts:  In  reflecting  on  her  income,  she  stated  that  it's  definitely  not  enough  to  live  on,  and  definitely  not  where   she   expected   to   be   at   this   stage   of   her   life.  When   asked   to   complete   the   statement,   This  means  I'm____,  she  responded  that  this  means  that  she  is  a  failure,  particularly  as  she  had  aspirations  of  doing   so   much   more   within   her   organization,   and   she   had   remained   convinced   that   there   was  "something   better"   until   the   very   end   when   her   employment   there   had   ceased.   Stacy   is   currently  receiving  a  pension  income  along  with  a  part-­‐time  income  to  supplement  her  pension.    When  asked  if  thinking  about  her  income  reminds  her  of  a  financial  situation  or  trauma  that  her  parents  had  around  money,  she  responded  that  money  was  NEVER  talked  about  in  her  home  and  in  all  her  years  of  growing  up,  her  parents  never  spoke  of  money  or   finances.  She  did  say,  however,   that  her   feelings  upon  retiring  and  leaving  her  workplace  were  very  similar  to  those  when  leaving  her  past  marriage-­‐  she  felt  exhausted,  depleted,  disappointed  and  deflated.  She  observed  that  both  environments  (home  and  work)   had   become   increasingly   toxic   and   dysfunctional,   and   that   she   had   been   on   the   verge   of   a  breakdown  just  prior  to  leaving  each  of  these  environments.      

 

 

Stacy's  biggest  aha  moment  was  in  identifying  the  striking  similarities  of  both  these  environments  (one  from   the  past   and  one   in   the  present),   and  how   tolerant   she  had  been,   hoping   that   somehow   things  would   improve,   all   the   while   trying   to   ignore   the   impact   of   remaining   in   such   a   dysfunctional  environment.  She  added  that  in  both  instances,  it  was  only  at  the  urging  of  family  and  friends  who  were  concerned  with  her  well-­‐being  that  finally  enabled  her  to  recognize  just  how  close  she  was  to  breaking  down  before  she  ultimately  made  the  decision  to  leave.  (This  reveals  a  worthy  and  deservingness  theme  that  will  be  elaborated  on  in  the  past  trauma  segment).    4.  Income  Goal:  We  doubled  Stacy's  current  income  to  $6,000/  month  ($3,000  bi-­‐weekly).      Feelings:  While  this  number  seemed  somewhat  unreal,  Stacy's  expression  lit  up  when  she  stated  the  #  above.  Her  eyes  brightened,  a   smile  crossed  her   face,  and   for   the   first   time,   she  appeared  happy  and  optimistic.  When  asked  what  emotions   she   felt   after   thinking  about   this  number,   she   responded   that  she  felt  hopeful  and  excited  that  there  was  a  light  at  the  end  of  the  tunnel.    The  possibility  of  doubling  her   income  triggered  feelings  of  comfort  and  relief.  She  stated  that  she  felt  apprehensive,   but   also   felt   excited   at   the   possibility   of   escaping   her   current   reality   and   experiencing  freedom   to  make   choices.   She   stated   that   “I   would   feel   so   free,   finally   able   to   take  my   family   on   a  vacation  or  buy  myself  a  nice  outfit  without  feeling  guilty".    Thoughts:   When   asked   to   rate   how   impossible   it   would   be,   on   a   scale   of   1-­‐10,   to   earn   double   her  current  income,  Stacy  stated  a  4  or  5.  She  says  that  she  would  have  assigned  this  question  a  rating  of  10  just  a   few  weeks  ago,  but  since  starting  a  new   job  where   there   is  a  potential   for  advancement,   she   is  feeling  much  more  optimistic  and  hopeful.    5.  Toxic  Money    When   I   explained   the   concept   of   toxic   money   to   Stacy,   tears   filled   her   eyes   for   the   first   time   since  starting  to  work  on  her  money  map.  She  admits  that  she  has  always  been  the  family  care-­‐taker  and  sole  provider   (her   husband   does   receive   a   very   small   disability   pension,   but   neither   her   first   or   second  husband  had  ever  worked  during  their  marriage).  She  definitely   felt   that  she  had  been  cheated  out  of  her  hard-­‐earned  money  during  her  first  marriage,  but  this  is  not  what  was  tearing  her  apart.  She  reports  that  is  that  she  is  secretly  receiving  an  additional  $200.00  each  month  from  her  elderly  parents  to  help  her  stay  afloat  and  pay  her  bills.      Feelings:  Stacy  reports  that  her  feelings  for  having  to  take  money  from  her  parents  at  her  age  and  stage  of   life   is   guilt   and   shame   that   is   almost   unbearable.   She   says   that   she   is   profoundly   disappointed   in  herself  for  still  having  to  depend  on  her  parents  for  assistance.    Thoughts:  She  says  that  that  this  confirms  that  she  is  a  failure  and  a  huge  disappointment  to  her  family.  Ironically,   she   is   the  oldest   child   in  a   family  of   four   siblings,   and   she  describes  one  of  her  brothers  as  being  financially  secure  while  the  other  is  "rolling  in  the  dough".  Every  time  she  receives  that  payment  from  her  parents,  she  is  reminded  of  how  she  turned  out  to  be  such  a  huge  failure,  which  triggers  those  feelings  of  shame  and  guilt,  and  that  rampage  of  negative  self-­‐talk.  While  her  money  problems  started  much  earlier,  the  impact  of  receiving  toxic  money  has  been  extremely  devastating  and  traumatic  for  her.      

 

 

Stacy   was   surprised   and   pleased   by   the   insights   she   gained   while   completing   her   Money   Map.   She  gained  awareness  and  understanding  into  the  beliefs,  blocks  and  feelings  running  through  her  nervous  system  that  are  deeply  affecting  her  financial  situation.    __________________________________________________________________________________    

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  13:    

For  this  session,  I  asked  Sue  to  give  me  an  income  number  that  she  wanted  to  be  making  in  2-­‐3  years.  The   money   earned   would   come   solely   from   her   doing   what   she   absolutely   loved   doing.   Work   that  allowed  her  to  bring  her  gifts  out  into  the  world  in  a  big  way,  work  that  added  value  to  other’s  lives.  She  enthusiastically  stated  that  she  wanted  to  be  bringing  in  $150,000  year.  (Yet  she  confided  that  she  didn’t  really  believe  she  could  make  that  much  money  on  her  own).  And,  she  was  ok  with  working  35  hours/  week  to  accomplish  this.  I  also  asked  her  to  give  me  a  number  that  represented  the  amount  of  money  she  wanted   to  have   in   a  bank   savings   account.  Her   reply   -­‐   $30,000.   This  was   a   stretch   for  her   as   she  really  wanted  it,  yet  had  no  idea  how  she  could  ever  get  that  much  money  in  the  account.    

Upon  getting  this  information,  I  asked  Sue  to  close  her  eyes  and  allow  her  mind  to  paint  her  a  picture  of  when  she  was  a  child.  She  was  around  6-­‐7  years  of  age  in  her  picture.  When  asked  to  connect  with  how  she   looked   and   felt   in   this   picture,   she   replied,   “I’m   not   happy,   but   I’m   also   not   unhappy.   I’m   in-­‐between.  It’s  like  I’m  emotion-­‐  less.  I’m  not  fully  alive.  I  feel  rather  numb.”    

I   asked   her   to   bring   her   parents   into   this   picture   and   to   imagine   that   they   were   discussing  finances/bills/money.   She   saw   her   mom   and   dad   sitting   at   the   kitchen   table.   Dad   was   doing   all   the  talking  and  mom  was  just  listening.  Mom  had  a  way  of  just  deferring  to  whatever  dad  said.  Dad  seemed  to  be  very  self-­‐assured,   in  charge  and  very  confident.  Mom  is  wanting  reassurance  and  security.  She’s  rather  neutral,  a  numb  expression  on  her  face  along  with  worry  and  she  appears  very  anxious.  There’s  no  arguing,  just  mom  agreeing  with  everything  dad  says.  Sue  is  aware  of  the  conflict  going  on  with  mom.  She’s   agreeing  with  what   dad   is   saying,   and   yet   the  worried   expression   on   her   face   contradicts   that  agreeing.  Her  dad  talks  about  financial  freedom.  He  says  he’s  good  at  what  he  does  and  he  doesn’t  want  to  have  to  worry  about  spending  money.  Sue  commented  that  “His  earning  was  limited  because  he  was  working  at  a  firm.  There  was  a   limitation  on  how  much  he  could  earn.”  Dad   felt   that  he  could  have  a  good  life  but  not  be  wealthy.  

I  pointed  out  to  her  that,  like  her  dad,  she  herself  limits  how  much  income  she  thinks  she  could  bring  in  today.  This  was  a  big  eye  opener  for  her  as  she  realized  how  much  she  had  done  that.  In  the  past,  she  did   believe   her   dad’s   income  was   limited,   that   felt   like   a   truth   to   her.   And,   she   could   now   see   how  limited   her   own   thinking  was   around  money.   She   had   bought   into   the   belief   that   certain   professions  made  more  money  than  others.  Her  big  A-­‐ha  moment  came  when  I  helped  her  to  see  the  glass  ceiling  around  her  income,  and  how  that  came  from  her  parent’s  money  paradigm.    

I  then  asked  Sue  to  see  herself  as  that  young  child   in  this  picture,  watching  her  parents.  She  said   little  Sue  looks  worried.  She  doesn’t  understand  what’s  going  on.  She  knows  there’s  emotion  there,  but  she  doesn’t  know  why.  She  doesn’t  know  why  mom  is  so  worried,  yet  she  feels  that  this  is  important.    

I  asked  her  to  connect  to  herself  as  the  adult  she  is  today.  I  asked  her  how  she  felt  looking  at  this  picture  of  her  parents  and  herself  as  a  child.  Saue  stated  “there’s  something  scary  about   this  picture.  They’re  

 

 

not  on  the  same  page.  It’s  not  easy  for  them  to  be  discussing  money.  It  feels  like  a  lot  of  tension  in  the  picture.”   I   asked   her   to   connect   to   her   own   body   and   to   how   she   was   physically   feeling.   She   was  experiencing   tightness   in  her  heart  chakra.   It   felt   like  her  chest  was  collapsing,   like   there  was  a  heavy  weight  pushing  it  down.  She  had  a  sinking  feeling  in  her  solar  plexus  area.    She  stated,  “I’m  scared.  I  just  want  to  feel  secure  and  know  I’m  safe  -­‐  like  I  don’t  have  to  worry  about  money.”    

I   pointed   out   to   her   how   her   above   statement   and   her   present   day  worries   around  money   are   very  closely  tied  to  the  same  feelings  her  mother  had  around  money.  Again,  a  huge  A-­‐ha  moment  for  her  as  she  never  saw  the  connection  before  now.  I  also  pointed  out  that  before  she  brought  her  parents  into  the  picture,  Sue  said  she  looked  “emotionless  and  felt  numb”.    It’s  interesting  that  she  used  those  exact  words  when  she  was  describing  her  mom  in  the  picture.  Again,  she  had  not  been  aware  of   this  until   I  pointed  it  out.    

I  checked  in  with  her  to  make  sure  she  was  okay  to  continue  on  with  Process  #2.  I  didn’t  feel  the  need  to  do  any  tapping  just  yet  and  I  really  wanted  her  to  sit  in  the  pain  a  bit  longer.  I  felt  that  she  would  really  see  the  connection  between  her  parent’s  money  paradigm  and  her  own  if  we  just  kept  moving  forward  without  tapping  to  bring  down  the  emotions  she  was  feeling.    

_____________________________________________________________________________________    

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  14:    Before  we  started  Jeff  shared  with  me  again  how  much  better  he  is  feeling  and  how  transformational  he  believes   tapping   and   this   work   to   be.   Also   expresses   a   lot   of   gratitude   to  me   for   taking   him   on   this  journey  and  guiding  him  and  holding  the  space  for  him  to  process  all  these  old  emotions.      I  give  him  an  overview  of  how  we  take  in  the  programing  of  our  families  at  a  young  age  and  it  creates  a  template  that  runs  in  the  background  and  creates  our  money  reality.  I  also  talk  to  him  about  the  2  vows  that  we  take  as  children  and  how  they  affect  our  relationship  to  money.    He  tracks  right  along  with  me  and  says  that  it  resonates  totally  with  him.    He  set  his  income  goal  for  2  years  from  now  to  make:  $250,000,  savings:  $40,000;  hours  worked:  30.    When  I  bring  him  through  the  visualization  of  the  earliest  money  paradigm  exercise,  he  sees  himself  as  a  boy  of  seven  sitting  in  their  small  kitchen  on  a  stool  at  the  counter  and  his  mom  is  cooking  dinner  as  she  asks  him  about  his  day  and  talks  about  hers.  (He  was  raised  by  his  mother  with  no  father  in  the  picture)  He  notices  that  she  is  very  tense  and  very  rushed  and  hurried  and  very  negative  about  her  work  and  the  people   she  works  with.   She   doesn’t   talk   about  money,   she   never   did.   But   she   is   always  worried   and  tense.    He   realizes   that   he   is   feeling   very   anxious   like   something   bad   is   about   to   happen.   I   asked   him   if  something  bad  ever  happened  and  he  said  all   the  time.  His  mother   is   like  a  ticking  time  bomb  and  he  never  knows  what  will  set  her  off.  He  says  Jeff  the  7  year  old  is  also  very  perplexed  he  doesn’t  know  why  she’s  like  this  and  he’s  always  wondering  if  he’s  done  something  wrong  but  he  doesn’t  know  what.    I  point  out  to  him  that  these  are  some  of  the  same  feelings  that  where  dominant  for  him  when  we  did  the  money  map.  He  totally  got  the  connection.  

 

 

 We  did  a   lot  of   tapping  around  the  scene  and  all   the  emotions  that  were  attached  to   it.  A  big  trauma  around   his   sister   came   up   during   the   tapping   and   we   did   the   movie   technique   on   it   until   it   was  neutralized.    When  we  finished  I  had  him  check  back  into  the  original  scene  in  the  kitchen  and  it  felt  much  lighter  and  better  to  him.  Then  I  had  him  scan  his  body  and  he  came  up  with  anxiety  in  his  chest  which  he  says  is  with  him  all  the  time  at  some  level.   It  was  at  a  4  and  we  did  tapping  on  the  anxiety  and  he  got  to  the  point  where  he  realized  it  might  be  safe  to  let  it  go  and  maybe  he  didn’t  need  it  anymore.      He  started  laughing  and  couldn’t  stop  and  said  he  felt  so  relieved  because  for  the  first  time  in  his  life  he  felt  like  he  was  not  his  anxiety  and  maybe  he  could  have  a  life  without  it!    _____________________________________________________________________________________    

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  15:    I   asked   Sally   to   envision  or   imagine  her   parents   discussing  money   as   a   young   child.  Her   eyes   opened  wide  and  she  turned  to  me,  saying  that  she  has  NEVER  seen  or  heard  her  parents  discussing  money.  In  all  her  years  of  growing  up   in  her  parents'  home,   she  says   that  money   issues  or  concerns  were  never  discussed;  it  was  a  taboo  topic  in  her  home.      Since  she  was  unable  to  "see"  or  "hear"  her  parents  in  the  visualization  exercise,   I  asked  her  what  she  had  learned  about  money  growing  up  in  her  home.  She  stated  that  she  enjoyed  a  happy  childhood  and  that   her   family   was   close-­‐knit;   other   than   normal   sibling   rivalry   with   her   brothers,   there   was   no  significant  conflict  or  trauma.  With  respect  to  money,  Sally  described  her  family  as  lower  to  middle  class-­‐  both  of  her  parents  worked  hard  and  were  frugal  with  money  as  they  did  not  have  the  money  to  spend  on  anything  that  was  unnecessary  or  excessive.  Through  reflecting  on  her  parents'  spending  habits  and  lifestyle,  she  was  easily  able  to  conclude  that  money  was  a  struggle  and  there  was  not  enough;  however,  she  had  no   actual  words   imprinted   in   her  memory   to   support   that   conclusion.   She   reported   that   the  family  lived  in  "half  a  house"  (as  opposed  to  a  semi-­‐detached  home),  meals  were  prepared  at  home,  the  family  created  their  own  entertainment  and  there  was  no  frivolous  or  indulgent  spending.    Sally  was  appreciative  that  her  parents  never  complained  about  their  finances,  though  also  admits  that  she  did  not   learn  anything  about  how  to  manage  money  from  her  parents.  Sally  said   it  was  somewhat  like  living  in  a  bubble,  not  being  exposed  to  the  challenges  and  "how-­‐to's"  of  managing  money.  She  feels  that  this  may  have  contributed  to  her  tendency  in  later  years,  when  she  first  lost  her  savings  and  began  drowning  in  debt,  to  have  avoided  dealing  with  the  reality  of  her  financial  situation.  It   is  only  recently,  since  being  on  the  verge  of  bankruptcy,  that  she  has  been  forced  to  fully  confront  and  comprehend  the  extent  of  her  financial  circumstances.          We  tapped  on  Sally's  feelings  and  beliefs  surrounding  her  early  money  paradigm,  honoring  her  parents'  struggles   and   their   positive   intentions   to   protect   their   children   by   never   discussing   money   and   by  making   it  a   taboo  subject.  She  also   felt  greater  compassion   for  herself   for  never  having  cultivated  the  skills  of  managing  her  money  effectively  and  for  having  "buried  her  head  in  the  sand"  when  it  comes  to  managing  money.    

 

 

I   then  guided  her   into  a  visualization  where   she  visited  her  parents  while  being   totally   successful   and  prosperous   and   a   recognized   as   an   expert   in   her   field.   She   stated   that   she   felt   pangs   of   guilt   when  sharing  her  success  with  her  parents;  however,  both  of  her  parents  were  pleased  and  proud,  and  were  fully  supportive  of  her  in  her  quest  for  a  better  life.      The   big   aha   moment   that   Sally   received   from   this   exercise   is   that   her   parents   wanted   her   and   her  brothers   to  surpass   their  standard  of   living,  and  that   it  was  her  own   limiting  belief  and  vow  of   loyalty  that  had  triggered  her  guilt  when  envisioning  herself  prosperous  and  successful  and  then  sharing  it  with  her  parents.      Along  with  tapping  on  her  vow  of   loyalty  to  her  family  paradigm,  Sally  tapped  on  her  freedom  to  start  anew,  to  free  herself  from  the  old  paradigm,  and  to  learn  the  skills  that  will  enable  her  to  take  charge  of  her  life  and  financial  situation.  By  the  end  of  the  session,  she  felt  light  and  free.  In  describing  the  impact  of  tapping,  Sally  stated,  "It  feels  weird,  it  looks  weird,  but  it  really  works!"  _____________________________________________________________________________________    

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  16:    

I  asked  Edith  to  recall  those  two  pictures  from  our  last  session,  the  picture  of  her  parents  talking  about  money  and  the  picture  of  her  as  a  child  taking  it  all   in.    She  reported  that  the  picture  with  her  parents  was  much  brighter  (before  it  had  been  dim,  almost  dingy,  she  said).    Also,  the  oppressive  anxiety  about  money  that  was  present  last  time  was  definitely  less.  

Next,  I  had  Edith  imagine  her  parents  still  in  the  house  back  then  but  that  she  (the  adult  Edith)  pulls  up  in  a  limo.    It’s  the  future  Edith  who  is  a  super  successful  coach  who  earns  $120K  a  year,  who  has  $60K  in  savings,  a  fabulous  wardrobe  and  who  only  works  30  hours  per  week.    I  also  had  her  imagine  that  three  very  handsome,  available  bachelors  are  waiting  in  the  car  for  her  to  take  her  out  for  a  night  on  the  town.    

I  then  had  her  imagine  telling  her  parents-­‐of-­‐the-­‐past  about  how  great  her  life  is,  how  much  she  earns  and  how  many  hours  a  week  she  works  in  order  to  joyfully  make  six  figures  a  year.    

When  I  ask  her  what  is  going  on  in  the  picture,  she  says  that  her  parents  are  aghast.    They  are  not  at  all  impressed  by  how  she  earns  her  money.    She  imagines  that  they  would  not  consider  coaching  a  “real”  job.     She   explains   that   both   of   her   parents   always  worked   really,   really   hard   long   hours   and   so   they  wouldn’t   consider   just   talking   to   someone   on   the   phone   (coaching)   to   be   a   serious   profession.     She  imagined  seeing  very  disapproving  looks  on  their  faces.    

I  didn’t  have  to  ask  her  Margaret’s  follow-­‐up  question  of  “What  rule  did  you  just  break”  because  Edith  was  already  very  tuned  into  the  fact  that  she  had  violated  her  family’s  rule  that  you  have  to  work  hard  for  your  money.    

I  wanted  to  seize  this  moment  of  clarity.      If  this  is  Edith’s  main  rule,  I  pointed  out,  it  makes  total  sense  why   she   is   currently   struggling   financially.     In   fact,   this  may   also   hold   the   key   to  why   she   has   always  struggled  financially.      You  see…  Edith  has  a  medical  condition  which  leaves  her  with  debilitating  fatigue.    She  is  only  able  to  work  20  hours  a  week.    And  since  working  only  20  hours  a  week  is  not  working  hard  enough   by   her   parents’   standards,   she   hasn’t   allowed   herself   to   be   financially   successful   despite   this  fatigue.      This  was  a  BIG  a-­‐ha  moment  for  her.    [Yeah!!!]  

 

 

I  had  a  flash  of  insight/  “divine  download”  myself  at  this  point:  Did  Edith  “create”  this  medical  condition  so  that  she  wouldn’t  have  to  work  as  hard  as  she  saw  her  parents  work?      Since  they  worked  so  hard  but  never   got   ahead,   never   enjoyed   it,  maybe   her   subconscious  mind   figured   “Why   bother  working   hard  when  there  will  be  no  payoff.    Let  me  instead  create  this  medical  condition  where  I  can’t  possibly  work  that  hard  so  that  I  can  save  myself  all  the  heartache,  frustration,  depression  and  disempowerment  that  my  parents  experienced  around  money.”      

Not  knowing  if  this  would  be  a  touchy  subject  for  her,  I  shared  this  flash  of  insight  I  had  just  had.    I  asked  Edith  if  this  “crazy”  idea  resonated  at  all  with  her.        

There  was  silence  on  the  phone  for  a  few  moments.      “Oh  shit,   I  crossed  the  line”  I  silently  thought  to  myself.      But  then  Edith  said  “You  know…that  would  make  a  lot  of  sense.    A  heck  of  a  lot  of  sense.”    

Not  sure  if  I  should  keep  exploring  the  sickness  angle  or  not,  I  returned  to  the  scene  of  adult  Edith  with  her   parents.       I   asked   her  what   she  was   feeling   at   that   point.       She   said   that   didn’t   feel   compassion  towards  her  parents  for  working  so  hard  nor  for  not  knowing  that  there  are  other  ways  to  make  money  without   having   to   “break   one’s   back.”       Instead,   she   reported   a   little   bit   angry   at   them   for   being   so  focused   on   how   she   currently   earns   her   money,   rather   than   on   the   fact   that   she   is   actually   making  money  doing  what  she  loves.    “Why  can’t  they  be  happy  for  me!”  she  exclaimed.  

She   imagined   that   her   parents   were   asking   her   all   sorts   of   probing   (almost   accusatory)   questions  because  the  idea  of  simply  speaking  with  someone  on  the  phone  and  making  great  money  doing  it  was  so  very  foreign  to  them.    She  imagines  that  her  parents  think  that  she  must  be  doing  something  illegal,  or  and  the  very  least,  shady.    

I  pointed  out  to  her  that  she  was  effectively   in  BATTLE.      “Did  she  see  that  and  how  it  has  shaped  her  life?”  I  asked.      I  wanted  to  reinforce  what  she  had  unconsciously  created.      

She   chose   to   never   be   like   her   parents.     By   her   very   act   of  making   “easy”  money   as   a   coach   she   is  proving  her  parents  wrong.      I  asked  her  how  she  felt  about  this  realization  and  she  admitted  that  now  that  she  sees  it,  she  was  feeling  a  little  conflicted.      

On  the  one  hand  she  doesn’t  want  to  accept  her  parent’s  money  paradigm  but  on  the  other  she  has  up  until  this  point  (in  real  life)  proved  her  parents  right  because  currently  she  isn’t  working  that  many  hours  and  she  is  not  making  all  that  much  money.    

Again…  was  her  medical  condition  which  limited  the  number  of  hours  that  she  could  work  a  way  to  not  feel  the  true  pain  of  this  battle/  to  never  have  to  confront  it  head  on?        

Edith’s  fatigue  made  it  possible  for  her  to  stay  loyal  to  her  parent’s  paradigm  and  at  the  same  time  her  fatigue  forced  her  to  pursue  a  career  (coaching)  which  was  definitely  less  physically  taxing  than  what  her  parents  did.      

We   tapped  on  all   the   feelings   that   this   imaginative  exercise  had  brought  up   for  her,  especially  on   the  breaking  her  family  rule  and  her  sadness  and  anger  over  feeling  rejected  by  her  parents  (tribe).      

We   loosely   followed   the   script   from   TIW   on   page   218-­‐19,   injecting   her   specific   details   where  appropriate.      For  example,   I   took  out  “rude  and   insensitive”  from  the  tapping  script  the  first   time  we  

 

 

went  through   it  because  she  was  still   feeling  really  angry  at  her  parents  at   that  point  and  she  still   felt  their  “scalding  eyes  of  judgment”  (her  words)    on  her.    

When  she  was  feeling  a  little  better  about  things  (her  discomfort/  SUDS)  had  moved  from  a  9  down  to  a  3  and  was  smiling  again,  I  then  asked  her  about  what  her  parents  thought  about  the  three  millionaires  waiting  for  her  in  the  limo.      

That  elicited  an  even  stronger  reaction  from  her  parents  who  she  reported  had  an  inherent  distrust  of  wealthy  people.    “They  will  misuse  you  or  cheat  you”  her  mother  warned.      When  those  words  came  out  of  her  mouth,  she  reported  that  something  finally  clicked  or  made  sense  to  her.    Edith  realized  why   it  was   that   she  had  always  gravitated   towards   struggling  artists  or  entrepreneurs  as  partners.       She  had  been  heeding  her  mom’s  warning  and  playing  safe!      That  was  another  big  a-­‐ha  for  her.      

I  made   sure   to   add   the   phrases   “wow…now   I   see   this,”     “I   see   it   so   clearly,   “this   all  makes   so  much  sense”  into  our  second  round  of  tapping  to  reinforce  all  the  a-­‐has  that  she  had  gotten  from  this  session.    

We  ended  the  session  in  a  lighthearted  way  with  one  more  round  of  tapping.    We  tapped  on  “I  am  ready  to  welcome  a  wonderful,  highly  successful,  rich,  rich  man  into  my  life.”    

_____________________________________________________________________________________  

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  17:    When  asked   if   there  was  a   traumatic  event   in  her  past   that  when  she   looks  back  she  says   If  only   that  hadn’t  happened…..  Jade  pointed  to  two  events  in  her  life  (the  second  after  a  little  work  on  the  first).  

1. When  she  and  her   family  moved  as  a  child,  her  Dad   lost  his   job  and  was  off  of  work   for  over  2  years.  That  put  them  in  trouble  financially  and  they  needed  assistance.  This  situation  eventually  tore  the  family  apart.  Mom  was  still  working  but  it  still  was  not  enough.  As  the  situation  of  her  father’s  unemployment  went  on  her  Mom  continued  working  and  she  moved  up  the  ladder  and  kept  earning  more  and  more.  But  Mom  blew  her  money,  often  buying  very  expensive  things  that  they  didn’t  really  need  but  that  she  wanted   and   very   quickly   just   gave   them   away.   Aligning   with   her   father   that   her   mother   was   being  frivolous  and  irresponsible,  Jade  vowed  never  to  buy  anything  at  full  price  as  a  result.  Mom  spent  a  lot  of  money  making  the  house  and  cars  look  good  to  the  neighbors  rather  than  really  taking  care  of  other  family  needs.  They  would  often  look  good  to  the  outside  world  while  have  almost  nothing  to  eat.    We   tapped   on   its   so   depressing,   if   only   dad   hadn’t   lost   his   job,   it   would   have   been   so   different,  my  family  would  still  be  together,  the  sadness,  scarcity  and  lack.  I  used  to  be  safe  but  when  dad  lost  his  job  it  was  scary  and  I  didn’t  feel  safe.  After  the  initial  rounds,  Jade  realized  that  she  was  angry  at  her  dad  for  losing  his  job  though  she  realized  logically  that  it  was  not  his  fault  and  she  had  anger  toward  her  mother  for  not  taking  care  of  her  needs  in  favor  of  looking  successful.      After  a  subsequent  round  of  tapping  on  the  anger  at  her  parents  and  how  unsafe  she  felt  in  the  world.  Jade  felt  that  the  anger  had  abated  toward  her  father  but  that  she  still  had  anger  toward  her  mom.  We  tapped  again  on   the  how  mad  she  was  at  her  mom  for  putting  her  at   risk   in   favor  of   looking  good   to  others.  How  mad   she  was  at  mom   for   leaving  her  alone  while   she  went   to  work  and  how  unsafe   the  world  felt.      This  is  when  Jade  related  that  some  of  her  anger  was  due  to  a  second  event  involving  her  mother.    

 

 

2. When  Jade  was  pregnant,  she  had  worked  very  hard  to  save  enough  money  to  get  her  through  her  leave  of  absence  and  not  have  to  stress  about  her  bills.  When  she  took  her  leave  of  absence  her  Mom  came  to  her.  She  owed  a  bill  and  was  in  dire  straits.  Jade  paid  the  bill  out  of  her  savings  and  living  account.  As  a  result  of  her  decreased  income  and  now  a  lack  of  savings  she  ended  up  in  debt.  She  is  proud  of  the  fact  that  she  took  care  of  herself  during  her  pregnancy  and  make  it  through  but  is  angry  with  herself  that  she  could   not   say   no   to   her   mother   and   even   more   angry   at   her   mother   for   putting   her   at   risk   again  financially.    Jade   felt   that   if   only   she  had  been   strong  enough   to   say  no   to  her  mother   she  would  have  been   fine  throughout  the  leave  of  absence.  She  had  so  much  anger  and  sadness  and  loss  tied  up  in  this  event.  As  for  the  first  situation,  Jade  felt  that  her  family  would  have  survived   if  her  Dad  had  not   lost  his   job  but  again  blamed  Mom  for  not  using  resources  wisely.    We  tapped  again,   this   time  on  how  much  she  had   lost,  how  she  had  made  a  bad  decision  to  help  her  mom  but  she  had  no  choice  and  she  had  put  herself  and  her  newborn  at  risk  because  of  her  inability  to  say  no.  We  tapped  on  how  strong  she  had  been  to  survive  that  situation  and  how  she  had  learned  how  strong  she  really  was.      After  the  tapping  rounds,  Jade’s  charge  on  these  situations  was  down  but  still  a  3.  She  expressed  how  amazed  she  was   that   it  was   so  emotional  and   she  had   thought  we  were  only  going   to  be  working  on  money!    Jade  was  like  “OOHHH!”  when  we  talked  about  how  ever  since  the  first  experience  she  has  been  loyal  to  her  family’s  paradigm  of  scarcity  and  events  always  conspiring  to  keep  her  from  getting  ahead  or  having  the  safety  that  she  craves.  And  after  the  second  experience  she  has  been  in  battle  with  her  mother  and  others  in  the  family,  reliving  that  conflict  and  she  doesn’t  trust  her  family  but  especially  herself  and  her  ability   to  make  good  decisions   the   same  any  more.  No  one   in   the   family  understands  what   she  went  through  and  how  much  she  lost.      We  tapped  about  how  she  had  in  fact  been  compassionate  with  her  mother  and  how  strong  she  was  to  survive   that   situation   on   her   own   and   how   strong   and   stable   she  was   and   how   those   situations   had  made  her  even  stronger  and  a  better  mother.    I  had  her  visualize  both  situations  and  the  one  that  still  held  a  charge  was  the  bill  with  her  mother  so  we  tapped   using   the   anger   script   and   then   a   couple   of   positive   rounds   to   affirm   that   she   did   the   best  anyone  could  do   in  that  situation  while  being  a   loving  caring  daughter  and  that  she  had  learned  some  great  skills  and  lesson  that  she  has  applied  to  her  role  as  a  mother.      At   the   end   Jade   felt   that   those   events   had   happened   to   teach   her   a   lesson   and   that   she   had   indeed  learned  from  them  and  was  not  in  battle  with  them  any  longer!  _____________________________________________________________________________________    

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  18:    

We  started  as  always  with  a  check  in  of  what  happened  between  sessions.  Client  reported  that  she  was  more  motivated  to  look  for  a  job  and  had  been  taking  steps  to  do  that.  Prior  to  our  work,  she  was  at  a  hold.  

 

 

MOC  (“Moment  of  Clarity”  that  I  bring  to  the  client)  

In  this  program  we’re  focused  mostly  on  internal  clearing,  but  in  order  to  create  real  change  in  your  life  there’s  more  to  it  than  just  doing  the  inner  work.  Doing  the  outer  work  really  matters  as  well.  

Financial  Trauma  

I   explained   the   concept  of   financial   trauma,   the   key  elements  of   financial   trauma,   common  causes  of  financial   trauma,   and   the   idea   that   you   can   say,   “If   only   that   hadn’t   happened,   I   would   be   so  much  further  ahead.”  

Then  we  did  the  exercise  to  identify  financial  trauma  in  savings  and  debt.  

Savings:  

Client:  What  I  got  for  savings  is  it  goes  back  to  childhood  with  my  father,  it  was  always  kind  of  a  big  deal  to  ask  for  anything.  He  would  say,  “That  money  could  go  toward  groceries.”  And  for  trust   I  remember  when  I  was  about  11,  I  confronted  him  with  all  the  stuff  he  was  doing.  He  was  basically  taking  my  mom's  money  and  spending  it  and  doing  other  things  to  us  too,  I  said  I  was  going  to  tell  my  mom  and  he  said,  “Your  mother  will  never  believe  you,  I've  got  her  trained.”  I  remember  losing  trust  in  the  universe  and  trust  in  God  and  everything  else.  

Debt:  

Client:  My  boyfriend  took  my  credit  card  when  I  went  away  once  and  ran  it  up,  so  there's  mistrust  there.  I  have  a  Masters  Degree  but  the  school  is  not  APA  approved,  so  I  feel  like  I  spent  $50,000  for  a  useless  degree  because  no  one  will  give  me  an   internship  because   it's  not  APA  approved.   It’s   just   little  things,  it’s  nothing  big  or  huge,  but  it’s  little  things  piled  up.  

MOC  

That's  betrayal  after  betrayal  after  betrayal.    You  say  they’re  little  but  they're  not  so  little  when  you  add  them  together  because  they  potentiate  each  other.  The  first  one  sensitizes  you,   it's   like  what  happens  when   you   get   an   injury   and   you   keep   picking   at   the   wound,   eventually   it   gets   infected.   These   are  traumas,  and  these  emotional  traumas  build  on  each  other.    

Realize  that  all  of  these  events  are  in  the  past,  but  as  we  talk  about  them  right  now,  they're  bringing  up  feelings  right  here  right  now  in  this  present  moment,  and  so  this  is  the  time  to  notice  that  there's  still  a  lot   of   mind-­‐body   stuff   going   on,   a   lot   of   emotion   running   in   you   in   your   nervous   system,   and   this  emotion  is  costing  you  literal  dollars.  Because  this  is  the  energy  that  is  keeping  your  money  stuck  where  it  is.    

And  so  every  time  you  even  think  about  the  money  in  your  savings  account  or  debt  load,  it's  triggering  this  fight  or  flight  response  in  your  body.  In  traumatic  situations  you  really  get  a  triple  whammy,  you  get  painful  emotions,  you  get  plenty  of  negative  self-­‐talk,  and  you  really  lose  confidence  in  yourself  and  in  your   ability   to   manage   your   money   and   sometimes   even   manage   your   life.   This   is   emotion   that's  unprocessed  not  validated  not  honored,  and  it’s  stuck  energy.  And  stuck  is  stuck.  So  when  you  got  these  feelings  running   in  your  nervous  system  there's  no  way  you're  going  to  be  able  put  all  of  your  energy,  and  brilliance  than  to  solving  whatever  financial  problems  you  have.  There's  no  way  you're  going  to  have  

 

 

excitement  about  focusing  on  your  savings  or  your  debt  or  any  area  of  your  money  really,  because  this  trauma  is  there  in  the  way  of  any  efforts  you  might  think  of  making  to  change  your  situation.    

The  good  news  is  that  once  we  clear  it  you  can  really  shift  your  perspective,  you  can  really  focus  on  what  you  want  to  create  in  your  life  that  you  can  begin  to  take  action  in  that  direction.    

These  events  will  still  be  your  history,  the  facts  of  what  happened,  but  our  goal  is  to  take  the  emotional  charge  off  of  them.    

You've  been  carrying  this  around  for  a  really  long  time.  This  is  weighing  on  you,  having  a  huge  impact  on  your  finances,  literally  costing  you  money.  So,  it’s  time  to  clear  it.  

Tapping  

We  went  off   script  here  and  tapped  on  the  specific   scenarios.   I   could   tell   from  what   the  client  wasn’t  saying  that  we  were  dealing  with  very  deep  trauma  here  so  I  wanted  to  make  sure  that  we  got  to  the  heart  of  the  matter  and  cleared  the  toxic  emotions.  

I  had  the  client  tap  through  the  points  while  telling  the  story.  We  started  with  the  father  scenario  and  moved  into  the  boyfriend  scenario  as  well.  

We   tapped   through  her   feelings  of   shock  and   taking  blame  and  shame  onto  herself,  and  her   sense  of  betrayal  and  inability  to  trust  because  of  this,  and  not  being  accepted  for  who  she  is,  and  her  pain  over  the   fact   that   her   mother   did   not   protect   her,   and   her   conclusion   that   she   must   be   unlovable.   The  scenario   with   her   boyfriend   reinforced   the   feelings   of   betrayal   and   not   being   able   to   trust.   We   did  eventually  manage  to  neutralize  the  feelings  and  find  the  gift  and  the  calling  in  her  history.  

MOC  

We  talked  about  how  deep  the  money  issues  go,  that  we  got  together  to  talk  about  money,  but  in  doing  so  we  go   to   the  deepest  and  most  profound  places   in  our   lives.  And  even   though   it   is  painful   to  walk  through  these  places,  we  are  getting  to  healing  and  freedom  on  the  other  side  of  it.  

The   client   reported   that   she   found   releasing   all   of   this   deep   stuff   that   she   has   been   avoiding   very  powerful.  

Since   this   session   was   so   intense,   I   followed   up   with   the   client   the   next   day.   I   recommended   some  radical  self-­‐care  and  a  few  additional  resources  for  dealing  with  emotional  trauma.  

The  client  reported  that  she  was  feeling  tired,  but  ok,  and  was  grateful  for  the  safe  space  to  “break  wide  open.”  

_____________________________________________________________________________________    

Coaching  Session  Case  Study  19:    

Client’s  outrageous  goal  is:  

$150,000  working  25  hours  a  week  

 

 

Client   is   a   talented   EFT   practitioner,   she   is   really   committed   to   her   growth   and   has   been  wanting   to  increase  her  income  with  little  success.  We  had  worked  together  on  all  the  processes  but  this  one  held  a  lot  of  power  and  transformation  for  her.    

When   I   re-­‐checked  with  her  about  her  Outrageous  Goal,  client  stated   that  she  did  not  have   the  same  charge  as  before.    

“I   know   I   really  have   to  do   it  differently   to  get   to   this...   I   really  have   to   shift   things,   re-­‐vamp  how   I'm  doing  biz...”  

“It's  not  as  overwhelming,  and  yet  I  question:  “Am  I  made  for  it?  Do  I  really  want  it?”  

“How  much  do  I  really  want  it?  Is  this  for  me?”  

“There's  a  little  girl  inside  of  me  that  says:  “I  just  want  someone  to  take  care  of  me...”  -­‐this  is  the  truth,  I  am  being  honest  with  myself.”  

“I  know  I  was  born  to  add  value  to  the  world  and  yet,  that  part  of  me  (the  little  girl)  speaks  kind  of  loudly  sometimes,  and  I  want  to  sit  back  and  be  taken  care  of.    

We  discussed  the  conflict  she  experiences:  the  part  of  her  that  wants  to  be  taken  care  of,  protected,  and  the  part  that  wants  to  be  successful  and  wealthy  for  her  contribution  to  the  world.    

I  guided  her  in  the  visualization  where  she  sees  herself  as  a  wealthy,  successful  woman  about  to  get  on  the  stage  to  talk  to  her  peeps.  The  audience   is   full  of  her  grateful  clients,   friends,  parents,  and  people  that  are  thrilled  to  see  her...  

She  stated  very  clearly:  “I  see  myself,  and  all  of  them...  and  I'm  not  going  up  there.”  

There  was  a  strength  to  her  voice,  a  determination  that  told  me  her  nervous  system  was  in  fight  or  flight  response  and  she  was  definitely  choosing  flight!  

I  very  kindly  told  her  that  she  could  choose,  she  didn't  have  to  go  up  if  she  didn't  want  to.  It  was  totally  up  to  her.  

I  also  said:  “just  out  of  curiosity,  what  are  you  concerned  about,  what  do  you  imagine  would  happen?”  -­‐  I  explored  deeper  and  deeper  every  statement  she  made.    

She  told  me  that  if  she  got  up  there  people  could  judge  her,  she  could  say  or  do  something  that  could  hurt  people...  and  if  that  happened  people  would  think  she  was  not  a  good  person.  People  could  judge  her  as  mean.    

More  questions  and  exploration  lead  to  her  telling  me:    

“I  grew  up  as  ‘Little  Sweet  Cathy’  my  grandmother  always  called  me  that...  and  I  really  liked  it.  I  was  seen  as  a  good  girl  and  never  got  in  trouble.  My  brother  on  the  other  hand,  would  often  became  the  target  of  my   father's   anger,   and   I   suffered   immensely   seeing   my   dad   abuse   him   (physically   and   especially  emotionally).  I  would  have  never  survived  that,  I  would  have  rather  died...”  

 

 

We  tapped  on  all  the  following  ideas  and  concepts  and  phrases:  

I  helped  her  see  that  if  for  her  getting  on  top  of  that  stage  meant  being  seen  and  possibly  being  judged.  That   she   could   potentially   do   something   that   could   hurt   someone   and   then   she   could   be   seen   as  someone  other  than  Sweet  Little  Cathy.  That  in  turn  could  lead  to  possibly  being  criticized  and  verbally  abused,  as  her  father  had  done  to  her  brother...    

If  she  saw  getting  on  that  stage  (without  even  considering  putting  up  a  sign  that  stated  how  much  she  intended   to  earn  or  how  many  hours   she  was   going   to  work)   as  potentially   losing  her   status   as   Little  Sweet  Cathy  and  being  abused  by  someone  as  strong  as  her  dad,   it  made  total  sense  that  she  wanted  nothing  to  do  with  the  idea.  

I   kept   stating   that   for   her   getting   up   on   that   stage   meant   the   possibility   of   losing   her   identity,   as  someone  nice  and  sweet,  and  possibly  even  (emotionally)  death.  

We   did   tapping   on   the   fact   that   growing   up   she   did   not   feel   safe   being   seen,   it   was   potentially  dangerous,  unsafe,  hurtful  and  so  painful...  She  had  disclosed  in  a  previous  session  that  she  would  have  preferred  to  die  than  be  abused  as  her  brother  was.  

We  tapped  on  all  the  feelings,  sensations  in  her  body,  and  thoughts  connected  with  this  past  trauma  and  cleared  and  released  all  the  pain  involved  in   losing  her  identity  as  Little  Sweet  Cathy.  The  possibility  of  being  judged  and  rejected,  even  abandoned.    

After  a  while  of  this  tapping  her  voice  changed  and  I  incorporated  some  positive  tapping.  We  tapped  on  the   wonderful   opportunities   that   lay   ahead   of   her,   helping   and   guiding   people   have   better   lives,  transforming  pain  and  hurt  into  more  fulfillment  and  energy.  All  the  contribution  she  would  make  to  her  clients  and  the  world  creating  a  new  generation  of  people  free  of  the  traumas  that  were  keeping  them  stuck  and  in  pain.    

I  guided  her  to  visualize  those  people  coming  towards  her,  asking  for  guidance  and  help.  People  open  and  grateful  for  her  sessions,  her  programs  and  workshops,  happily  paying  her  fees.  I  told  her  to  see  the  money,  checks  and  credit  cards  handed  over  to  her,  all  accompanied  by  smiling  and  grateful  faces.  

After  we  finished  the  tapping  she  was  eager  to  get  on  that  stage  and  share  with  her  clients,  and  loved  ones  her   income  goal   and  how  many  hours   she  was  going   to  work  making  an  Outrageous  amount  of  Money!  

She   reported   seeing   smiling,   supportive   and   loving   faces,   totally   agreeing   and   applauding   her   total  success,  giving  her  a  standing  ovation!  

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Coaching  Session  Case  Study  20:    

Client  divorced  in  2005.    In  2006,  she  got  phone  calls  and  letters  for  nonpayment  on  a  truck  and  a  boat.    Since  her  ex  wasn’t  making  those  payments,  she  cashed  her  retirement  to  take  care  of  the  debt.    This  problem   affected   her   credit   and   her   ability   to   get   a   loan,   even   when   it   should   have   been   her   ex’s  responsibility  since  he  took  the  boat  and  truck.      

 

 

She  had  trauma  around  this,  and  feelings  of  betrayal.    Her  credit  was  flawed  because  of  his  choices,  and  he  even  filed  for  bankruptcy   later.    He  didn’t  pay  child  support.    He  didn’t  send  money  even  when  he  said  he  would  and  they  went  to  court  over  it.    She  had  major  emotion  over  this.    She  said  she  was  over  most  of  it.    He  apologized.    She  takes  the  girls  on  her  taxes,  as  a  way  to  balance  out  what  he  owed  her.    Yet,  there  is  still  a  battle  over  child  support.  

She  had  major  emotion  over  all  of  this,  and  she  says  she  is  mostly  over  it.    She  feels  cheated  –  cheated  out  of  something  her  husband  owes  her.        She  was  not  really  over   it  –  could  feel  the  resentment  and  emotion  in  the  story.    It’s  so  exhausting  for  her  that  finally  she  just  had  to  let  it  all  go.    But  her  resources  available  for  ‘moving  on’  haven’t  really  helped  her.      And  the  court  demanded  that  her  ex-­‐husband  pay,  yet  there  is  no  follow  through,  and  he  still  hasn’t  paid.  

She  doesn’t   know  what   to  do  next.       She   is   too  worn  out   to   fight.   It’s   easy   for  her   to   flip   into  anger,  frustration,  and  betrayal  over  this  whole  thing.    It  seems  ‘endless’  and  ‘hopeless.’  

We  tapped  on  her  feelings  of  endless,  hopeless,  no  end  to  this,  never  any  fairness  coming  to  her.    We  tapped  on  the  feeling  that  she  didn’t  know  what  to  do  next,  if  anything.    We  tapped  on  acceptance  and  release,  after  we  tapped  on  the  endless  and  hopeless  round.    

Then  we  did  one  more  round  of  positive  thoughts  related  to  her  accepting  and  loving  herself,  releasing  feelings   all   jumbled   up   about   her   ex   –   husband,   and   freedom   from   her   ex-­‐husband’s   behavior   that  reflected  on  him,  not  her.  

She  felt  freer,  like  the  hopeless  never  ending  misery  was  lighter  and  less  important.      Her  anger  over  her  husband’s  dumping  her  with  all  the  debt  had  shifted  to  compassion  for  him;  that  maybe  it  wasn’t  easy  for  him  either,  and  he  just  dealt  with  things  differently  than  she  did.    She  said  she  felt  like  she  released  him  and  herself  from  the  grip  of  this  bad  chapter.  

We   tapped   briefly   on   the   good   feeling   of   compassion   that   she   had   for   her   ex-­‐husband   and   her   own  lightness  from  moving  on  and  letting  the  old  miseries  go.      

Her  big   takeaway  was   that  piece  of   compassion   for  her  husband,  and   that   she  can   share  was   she  did  learn  with  other  people   and   turn  her  negative   into   a   gift   of   positives.    And   just   like  with   forgiveness,  when  she  shifted  from  resentment  to  compassion,  it  didn’t  really  affect  her  ex,  but  it  sure  did  uplift  her!  

She   is   going   to   look  at   the  evidence  of  making  an   intention   to   see  how   the  universe  DID   support  her  even  when  it  seemed  her  husband  and  everyone  else  had  ‘fallen  through’.      

She   said   it   felt  good   to   feel   supported.     She   said   she  could   feel  a  washing  over  herself  of   relief  and  a  gentle  surrender  to  the  outcome,  including  the  compassion  for  her  ex  and  kindness  to  herself,  too.  

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