“DementiaFriendly”isashorthandforbeingwelcoming, accessibleandcaringforpeoplewhoarelivingwithdementia,andtheirfamilies,friendsandcarers.It’snotastatustoachieve,butanattitudeofmindandheart,andsomethingthatwearealwaysworkingtowards.However,thereareanumberofsimple,practicalstepswecantakewhichgoaverylongwaytohelpingourchurchalongthatpath.

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Wedon’tsetouttodothisonourown.Therearealotofgoodresourcesoutthere.OnekeyresourceisprovidedbytheDementia FriendsandDementiaChampionstrainingofferedthroughtheAlzheimers’society.OneofthefirststepsachurchcantaketowardsbeingDementiaFriendlyisencouragingtheirmemberstodotheDementia Friendstraining.It’sverystraightforwardandcanevenbedoneonline.It’sparticularlyworthencouragingthosewhomightwelcome,andactasstewardsandsidespeopletoengagewiththis.SomepeopleinthedeanerymightbeabletotrainasDementiaChampions,andthentheycanoffertheDementiaFriendstrainingtolocalchurchesandothercommunitygroups.

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Equally, wehaveourownChristianperspectivestobringtobear.WhetheritisthebiblicalstoryofGod’smakingofhumanity(Click- hereillustratedbyMichelangelo’sSistine ChapelfrescoofthecreationofAdam),(Click)orournormalhumanexperienceofbeingborn,someone istherebeforeus.Weneedtoforgetthefamousideathatwhowearestartswithsomekindofindividualthinkingprocess– “Ithink,thereforeIam”InsteadweneedtheolderwisdomreflectedinScripture“Iamloved,thereforeIam”,and“Iamknown,thereforeIam”.Whensomeonebeginstoforgetwhotheyare,theydon’tlosevalue,theydon’tceasetobepersons.Ourloveholdsthemintheirvalueandintheiridentity.Evenmore,asChristians,webelievethatGod’sloveholdsusandthewholeworldinbeing,giveseverythingandeveryonethesamepricelessvalue.Inthewordsofthepsalmist:“Foritwasyouwhoformedmyinwardparts;youknitmetogetherinmymother'swomb.Ipraiseyou,forIamfearfullyandwonderfullymade(Ps.139:13-14NRSV)Thereisaunderlyinglifeandidentitywhichnothingandno-onecantakeaway.

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Centraltotheidea ofbeingdementiafriendlyislisteningtoandlearningfromthosepeoplewholivewithit.Asyoudevelopastrategyforyourchurch,thenthemembersofyourcongregationwhothemselvesarelivingwithdementiahavevaluablethingstohelpyoulearn.Here’sanexample:AustralianauthorChristineBryden tellsaverypowerfulpersonal story.Shehasbeenalongtermsuffererwithdementia,andabletowriteandtalkaboutherexperience.HereisalinktoherstoryonYouTube.Takeabreakfromthispresentationandwatchitnow.

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Memoriesthatgetlaiddownveryearlyinlifestayalongtime. Becauseofthewealthofemotionsattachedtothem,longagomemorisedprayersseemtostickindifferentbitsofthebraintosomeothermemories.OftenthatmeansthatsomeonewillstillbeabletojoinintheLord’sPrayerwhoseemsincapableofotherformsofspeech.Ifthat’strueofwords,it’sevenmoretrueofmusic.

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There’saremarkabledemonstration ofthepowerofmusictobringpeopleoutofthemselves,andbringmemoriesaliveinAliveInside,adocumentaryaboutthe Music andMemory project,alsofeaturingDrOliverSacks.Thelink tooriginalvideoishere:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyZQf0p73QMThereareoneortwoshorterversionsonYouTubetolinktoaswell.

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It’sveryimportanttorememberthatdementiaisanumbrellatermforavarietyofdifferentillnesses.Therearedifferentsortsofdementia, andpeoplecanbeaffectedinvaryingways,overdifferentperiodsoftime.We’renotjusttalkingaboutonething.

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It’sequallyimportant torememberthatthesevaryingtypesofdementiaarephysicalillnesses.NothingbroughtthathometomelikethisbrainscanwhichChristineBryden releasedtohelppeopleunderstand.Herbrainscanisontheleft,andyoucanseethedamagecomparedtoapersonofsimilaragewithoutdementiaontheright.Thisisaboutphysicalchanges,asmuchaffectingthebodyascanceroranyotherlife-threateningillness.

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Rememberingisanimportantthemeinthelifeofthechurch,werememberJesusforsuccessivegenerations, werememberJesusforourworldandthosewhodon’tknowGodattheheartofourprayer.Sowhenweprayforthosewhoareforgetting,wearekeepingthemlinkedtothatgreatcommemorationofGodandGod’slove.

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ButweknowevenmorethatwedependonGod,notthat Goddependsonus.SoifourknowledgeandmemoriesofGodareimportant,thenGod’sknowledgeandmemoryofusisvital.Godknowswhatwehaveforgotten.Godholdsourmemoriesinhiseternalmind.Godholdsourlivesinhiseternallove.One waywecanthinkofGodwhenprayingforpeoplewholivewithdementiaisthatGodistheguardianandkeeperoftheirmemories,andthattoberaisedfromthedeadistobegivenbackthestoryofwhoyouare,theselfyouhaveforgotten.

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Butactualmemories areimportantaswellasageneraltheologyofmemory!Onethingthatcanreallyhelpindividualsistokeeptheirown“memorybox”– acollectionofpreciousitems,photosandremindersthatfamily,friendsandcarerscantalkaboutwiththem,physicaltriggersformemories.ChristineBryden talksabouthowherhusbandcouldusewordsandimagestoconstructamemoryofwhathadhappenedthatshecouldthenwalkinto,andsometimesfindherownmemories.That’sthesortofthingthatamemoryboxcanhelpwith:re-describinganaspectofthepastinawaywhichmighthelpitcomealiveandberememberedstill.Andifamemoryboxcanhelpindividuals,youmightalsowanttothinkaboutamemoryboxorboardforthechurch,photosofapastchoir,oroutingorfete.Bitsofhistorythatmattertopeopleandhelpmakethechurchwhatitistoday.

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Ihopethis presentationhasgivenyousomeideasaboutbecomingmoredementiafriendly.Thereareideasandresourcesonourdiocesanwebpageswhichwehopewillhelpyoumakethenextstepofyourjourneyonbecomingamoredementiafriendlychurch.Wewillbebuildingonthoseovertime,andsharingthegoodpracticewediscoveraroundourdiocese,soyoucanseehowotherparisheshavedoneit.Andifyouhavesomethinggoodgoingoninyourparish,getintouchwithDougChaplin,SamSetchellorJamesAtkinsoninthediocesanoffice,andtheywillhelpshareyourgoodnewsstoryaswell.

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