Antelope Class Writing

Term 6, Week 2 learning- 8.6.20 Hello Antelopes, well done for all of your hard work so far, many of you wrote great newspaper reports from last week’s video! It

has been a pleasure to see the learning that has been taking place, and we look forward to hearing more about that this

week. Please send a picture or scan of your writing to antelopes@bratton.wilts.sch.uk, either every couple of days or at

the end of the week. There are 5 lessons and each lesson will take approximately 30-

40 minutes. Miss McMillan and Mrs Smith

Lesson 1

To recognise what relative clauses are.

What do you think an embedded clause is?

What is an embedded clause?

An embedded clause is found in the middle of a sentence and is placed between commas.

The dog, which was brown, barked.

An embedded clause has the power to burrow into the middle of a main clause and add extra

information to a sentence.

The dog, which was brown, barked.

The main clause is ‘The dog barked’. It makes sense on its own without the

embedded clause.

‘Which' is a relative pronoun. When it is used to begin an embedded clause, it is also called a

relative clause.

The relative pronouns are:

Subject Object Possessive

who which that

who / whom which that

whose whose

We use relative pronouns to introduce relative clauses. Relative clauses tell us more about people and things: Lord Thompson, who is 76, has just retired. This is the house which Jack built. Marie Curie is the woman that discovered radium. We use: who and whom for people which for things that for people or things.

There are two kinds of relative clause: 1. We use relative clauses to make clear which person or

thing we are talking about: - Marie Curie is the woman who discovered radium. - This is the house which Jack built.

2. We also use relative clauses to give more information about a person, thing or situation: - Lord Thompson, who is 76, has just retired. - We had fish and chips, which I always enjoy. - I met Rebecca in town yesterday, which was a nice surprise. With this kind of relative clause, we use commas (,) to separate it from the rest of the sentence.

Please watch the following video for further explanation:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/topics/zwwp8mn/articles/zsrt4qt

A relative clause doesn't have to be embedded; it can also go at the end of a sentence.

Simon said goodbye to his friend, who completely ignored him.

Michelle screamed when she saw the spider, that dangled from the one clean bathroom towel.

We tried our luck at the same flea market that George had found an Amazing Spider-Man comic at.

Activity 1: Identify the relative clauses in each of these sentences by copying only the relative clause out into your book:

• Jim, who was an overweight whale, bumped his head on an oil tanker as he swam.

• The villain marched across the crater that had once been a playing-field full of flowers.

• The police officer called to his partner, who ignored him and continued to eat his doughnut.

• I’m looking for a minion that can use Microsoft Word.

• The man, who lives next door to me, might be a werewolf.

Activity 2: rearrange the sentences on the next slide, so the relative pronoun and extra information and in the embedded

into the main clause.

Example: Please use this to help you with the activity

Lesson 2

To recognise the features of a diary entry and write a short entry about your day.

Can you remember some of the features

of a diary entry?

Diary entry features:

• ‘Dear Diary’

• Date

• Past tense

• Uses first person (I, we, my, etc.)

• Chronological order

• Use time connectives (next, then, after that)

• Describe their thoughts and feelings

• Informal / chatty writing style, as though speaking to someone

• 5 senses

• Descriptive techniques – adjectives, similes, metaphors, alliteration, onomatopoeia, personification

Activity 1: Read through the diary below and label or underline the features listed on the previous slide.

Friday 30th November Dear Diary, I had the best day EVER today. I woke up this morning, the sun was shining through the curtains and I could smell breakfast cooking downstairs. I jumped out of my bed, threw on my school clothes and skipped down to the kitchen. A delicious breakfast of pancakes with syrup was waiting for me on the table and I gobbled it down as quick as a flash. I grabbed my school bag, shouted “bye!” to my mum and dashed out of the door to school. When I arrived at school, my teacher handed my homework back to me and a huge grin spread across her face. Guess what? I got 20 out of 20! I couldn’t believe it! We had my best lessons in the morning (Literacy and Geography). Before I knew it, it was lunchtime. The menu today was my favourite: Spaghetti Bolognaise followed by chocolate pudding – yum! The afternoon flew by, and we ended the school day with a really fun game of dodgeball, and we all cheered when my team won (of course). After school, I came home and was met with the most amazing surprise; my mum told me that we were going out to the cinema and to Pizza Hut for dinner. We had a fantastic time! I’m sitting on my bed writing this, remembering all the fun things that happened today. I hope tomorrow is just as good! Oliver

Activity 2: Read the scenarios on the next slide. Choose one and write a diary entry from your

point of view.

Use the features to support you in writing and structuring your diary.

Important things to remember:

• Include your thoughts and feelings.

• Write in past tense and first person.

• Use your 5 senses, describe what happens.

1. It was your birthday yesterday. You were upset because you thought people had forgotten. Later on, you went out and when you came home, all your friends were there. Your family had organised a surprise party. Imagine what happened and how you felt throughout the day. Write your diary for yesterday.

2. You are on holiday, somewhere you have never been before. What’s it like? What have you been doing? You go out to the busy local market with your mum or dad, but you get lost. How do you feel? Remember, you don’t know anything about where you are. After wandering around aimlessly in a panic, you find your way back to where you are staying. Write a diary of your experience.

3. As a treat, you and your friend go to a theme park. You have a brilliant day and go on as many rides as you can. You even go on the big rollercoasters. You eat your favourite food and get some photos of you and your friend on the rides. By the time you get home you’re really tired but you want to write about your action-packed, fun-filled day in your diary. Write about your amazing day.

4. You have just been on a school trip you really enjoyed. You went to somewhere that is very different from where you live and it was really nice to be somewhere different. Write in your diary about where you went, what you did, who you went with and what you enjoyed most.

Lesson 3

To write a description.

Please watch the video from ‘Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCly_WerIo4

While you watch the video, make a note of the key events that happen.

This lesson, you are going to write a description about the spaghetti tornado.

What are the descriptive techniques

you could include in your writing?

Descriptive techniques:

Powerful adjectives - words to describe.

Similes - describes something by comparing it to something else, using like or as. E.g. Jess is as graceful as a gazelle

Metaphors - a word or a phrase used to describe something as if it were something else. E.g. Jess is dynamite.

5 senses - see, hear, smell, taste and touch

Personification - when you give an animal or object qualities or abilities that only a human can have. E.g. The stars danced playfully in the moonlit sky.

Onomatopoeia - the formation of a word from a sound associated with what is named. E.g. cuckoo, sizzle, bang, pop

Activity:

Using the video, describe the spaghetti tornado.

Describe how it moves, what it does, the effect it has on Swallow Falls etc.

Write at least half a page.

Use the descriptive techniques on the previous slide to help you, try and include one of each of them.

Miss McMillan’s example is on the following slide.

The spaghetti spiralled round in the sky, joining together into a huge coil of destruction. Large, succulent meatballs scattered around the tornado, the large vacuum keeping them in place. Lightning struck, warning the residents of what was about to happen and the dark, eerie clouds rumbled. Debris started to fly in the air like birds fleeing from danger. The strong smell of tomato sauce started to fill the atmosphere as the tornado twisted round and round, sucking up everything in its path. People started to run as each meteor charged towards the ground, not afraid of what it hit.

Lesson 4

To plan a diary entry from the perspective of a character.

Today, you are going to watch the video again, but with Flint Lockwood’s perspective in mind.

Activity 1: You need to start thinking about: • What does Flint do throughout the video? • What could Flint be thinking and feeling at

different points? • How does his actions reflect his thoughts and

feelings? Make notes / mind maps for each point while you

watch the video again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCly_WerIo4

Now…

Your writing activity this week is to write a diary entry from the perspective of Flint Lockwood in the ‘Spaghetti

tornado’ scene.

You are going to combine your notes on the previous slide and from your description to plan a diary entry that

tells a recount of his day. Try to include your embedded and relative clauses.

A template is provided on the next slide, which you could use to

organise your ideas. Please also see Mrs Smith’s plan on the following slide as an example.

Mrs Smith’s plan.

Lesson 5

To write a diary entry from the perspective of a character.

Today, you are going to use your plan to write a diary entry, from the perspective of Flint Lockwood, to tell a

recount of his day.

Use the features on the next slide as a success criteria, to refer to, as you are writing your diary entry.

Diary success criteria:

• ‘Dear Diary’

• Past tense

• Uses first person (I, we, my, etc.)

• Chronological order

• Use time connectives (next, then, after that)

• Describe their thoughts and feelings.

• Informal / chatty writing style, as though speaking to someone.

• 5 senses

• Descriptive techniques – adjectives, similes, metaphors, alliteration, onomatopoeia, personification.

An example of Mrs Smith’s diary entry is on the next slide.

Mrs Smith’s diary entry.