Announcements 1. Next week: Chris Milner, Kimley-Horn & Associates 2. How to do well in CE 104 a. Participate in your group b. Read the comments on the

Announcements1. Next week: Chris Milner, Kimley-Horn & Associates

2. How to do well in CE 104

a. Participate in your group

b. Read the comments on the assignments

Technical writing!

ObjectiveConvey information as quickly, clearly, concisely, and correctly as possible.Powers of the Management Committee:

To employ staff, agents and other people (either casually, temporarily, permanently or on secondment) to carry out the objects of the Association upon such terms and conditions as they may from time to time consider desirable, and to terminate such employment or agency, and to pay their salaries, fees, commissions, remuneration and other charges out of the Association's Fund and to confer upon any staff or agents so appointed the right to exercise any discretion which may be vested in the Management Committee Members.

The Management Committee may employ staff.

ObjectiveConvey information as quickly, clearly, concisely, and correctly as possible.To: A. CustomerFrom: E. L. Ittrett

Re: Bridje design

Pursuant to your request, of February 6, 2008, please find inclosed the Design of a bridje.

MotivationA high school student seeks an internship with CivilSolutions Inc., which is managed by vice presidentRichard Rehmann.

The student walks into the office of Civil Solutionsand says,

“Where’s Rich?”

Could the student have improved his communication?How?

Rhetorical factorsThe student did not consider the factors important incommunication:

1. Purpose

2. Audience

3. Context

4. Content

What do you want?

What is the history? The future?

Is the content appropriate? Accurate?

What information does the reader need?

Purpose

• To inform: Technical report, journal article

• To record: Minutes of a meeting, technical report

• To persuade: Proposal, review article, essay, brochure

• To recommend: Feasibility study, report

What are some possible purposes? Give examples of each.

Audience

• Who is the likely audience? • Do you know the readers? How well?• What does the reader already know?• What does the reader need to know?• What does the reader want to know?• What will the reader be able to understand?• How much time will the reader have?• How will the reader use this information?• What questions will the reader most likely have

after reading?

What are some considerations regarding audience?

Context

• Need for the document• Possible results from the document• Budget• Timeline• Familiarity with audience• Audience expectations• Health of the relationship with the audience• Nature of the subject matter, potential controversy• Range of purposes of the readers• Audience preferences for verbal or visual descriptions

Considerations regarding context:

Content

• motivate the document sufficiently?• provide just enough background?• explain what you will do? • provide good visuals?

Is the content appropriate? Did you

• check calculations?• cite authoritative sources?• separate observation from speculation? • avoid unwarranted claims?

Is the content accurate? Did you

Example: speaker report

Write a report of no more than one page (12 point font, single spaced) on the speaker’s presentation. Answer the following questions:

1. What is the speaker’s background? Describe the speaker’s career path briefly.

2. What sort of projects or positions did the speaker describe?

3. What obstacles, barriers, or professional issues arose in the speaker’s career? In particular, discuss how the speaker addressed communication skills, ethics, and leadership in his or her career.

4. What were the key lessons you learned from the talk?

Speaker report: rhetorical factors1. Purpose

What is your purpose?

Speaker report: rhetorical factors2. Audience

What do we know about the audience?

Speaker report: rhetorical factors3. Context

• Need:

• Possible results:

• Budget:

• Timeline:

• Familiarity:

• Expectations:

• Relationship health:

• Controversy:

• Verbal/visual:

Speaker report: rhetorical factors4. Content

Next steps

• Generating ideas

• Gathering information

• Narrowing the information

• Outlining

Generating ideas

How might you generate ideas?

“What people somehow (inadvertently, I’m sure) forgot to mention…was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here—and, by extension, what we’re supposed to be writing.” (Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird)

Gathering & narrowing information

How might you gather information?

How might you narrow the information?

Outlining

1. Write an outline (or at least a list).

2. Start with a standard template and modify.

3. Add as much detail as you comfortably can.

4. Don’t etch it in stone.

Scientific proposal template

1. Significance and objectivesa. Significance and motivationb. Objectivesc. Hypothesesd. Summary of proposed work

2. Backgrounda. Introductionb. Literature reviewc. Summary

3. Proposed worka. Overviewb. Detailsc. Pland. Preliminary work

Technical report template• Abstract• Introduction

– Problem statement– Background – Overview

• Methods• Results• Discussion• Conclusions• References• Appendices

Writing the documentAre you a farmer or a hunter?

Advice: Just start somewhere and write. Make a mess. Break the rules.

Writing the documentWhy is it OK to break the rules and make a mess whenyou write?

Because you are going to revise, revise, revise.

“It is no sign of weakness or defeat that your manuscript ends up in need of major surgery. This is a common occurrence in all writing, and among the best writers.”

Revising the document

1. Structure

2. Paragraphs

3. Sentences and words

a. Sentences

b. Grammar

c. Word choice

d. Punctuation

Use a top-down approach:

http://www.ucalgary.ca/uofc/eduweb/grammar/marking/

http://www.ucalgary.ca/uofc/eduweb/grammar/marking/


Revisit purpose, audience, context, content

1. Structure

a. Did you meet your purpose?b. Do you have a new purpose?c. Did you address the audience properly?d. Did you provide the right content?e. Do you need more?f. Can you cut anything extraneous?


2. Paragraphs

a. Make the paragraph the unitof composition.

b. Ask whether you developed the idea sufficiently.

< 100 words: Developed enough?> 200 words: Split into two?

Revising the document3a. Sentences

1. Sentence fragment2. Run-on sentence and comma splice3. Fused sentences4. Overloaded sentence5. Mixed construction6. Faulty parallelism7. Dangling modifier8. Misplaced sentence elements9. Shift of number or person10. Shift of tense, mood or voice 11. Omissions 12. Lack of variety 13. Illogical sentence (e.g., faulty co-ordination, faulty subordination)

Sentence errors are legion:


Sentence fragments

Propane and natural gas on the other hand are still fossil fuels, but they hold the potential for a very good short term solution. Short term meaning eventually fossil fuels will be completely depleted.

“If you write a fragment, you fail.” (W. Heston, 1984)

Where’s the fragment? How would you revise?


Run-ons and fused sentences

I also have us booked at Fareway on Friday from 4-8 pm the store manager said the store is busier on Friday than Saturday.

How would you revise?

I also have us booked at Fareway on Friday from 4-8 pm. The store manager said the store is busier on Friday than Saturday.


Mixed construction

Convective heat transfer is when the flow carries the heat.

The reason the coverage of the Olympics frustrates him is because NBC focuses on the stories instead of the sports.

Temperatures in Ames will be warmer this weekend.

In convective heat transfer the flow carries the heat.

NBC’s coverage of the Olympics frustrates him because it focuses on the stories instead of the sports.

Temperatures in Ames will be higher this weekend.

Ames will be warmer this weekend.


Faulty parallelism

Sugarbush Ski Instruction

● Exciting

● Lots of experience

● Enjoyable

● You’ll have a great time!


Faulty parallelism

The experiments will involve measuring velocity, samplingthe water quality, and to record the wind speed.

Elements of a list must have the same grammatical form.Compare apples to apples.

How would you revise?

The experiments will involve measuring velocity, samplingthe water quality, and recording the wind speed.


Misplaced modifier

Nailed to the fence, Julie read the sign.

Having eaten the remains of the zebra, we watched the lionlick its chops.

What is wrong with these sentences?


Dangling modifier

Groundwater contamination is a major concern when designing the geologic repository.

What is wrong with these sentences?

How would you revise them?

Varying from a simple lime softening system to a complex electrodialysis reversal operation, the incidence of radium in drinking water can be greatly reduced.

Based on these tests, we conclude that this option is not feasible.

Revising the document3b. Grammar

1. Idiomatic grammatical constructions2. Syntax3. Usage4. Case5. Verb form6. References7. Subject-verb agreement8. Parts of speech


General pronoun reference

These conditions allow MTBE to travel quickly and with little hindrance into the groundwater. This poses a huge problem because the plume for MTBE is much longer than that for any other gasoline product.

Antecedents of pronouns need to be unambiguous.

What is “This” in this passage?


Subject-verb agreement

What is wrong with this sentence?

Revising the document3c. Word choice

1. Wrong word2. Too many words3. Excessive compression4. Diction5. Active/passive voice

Revising the documentWrong word

Correct the errors in these messages:

This is a reminder email that I send to all the authors. If you have all ready uploaded all your papers and have received confirmation emails than your okay.

Your ignorant of the ways of the world.

Revising the documentToo many words

15% of words in technical writing are unnecessary.

Unnecessary

Necessary

Source: Rehmann made this up.


Shorten these sentences:

At this point in time, the firetrucks have not arrived at the airport.

In order to give an estimate of the dissipation, we made measurements of the velocity with PIV, which is capable of achieving small-scale resolution.

The firetrucks have not arrived at the airport.

To estimate the dissipation, we measured the velocity with PIV, which can resolve small scales.


Shorten these sentences:

He utilized a saw to facilitate the cutting of the wood.

Upon visual inspection, there are three discernible regimes.

He cut the wood with a saw.

There are three regimes.


Put action in verbs, not nouns. Clue: look for “of”.

In all cases the variable dispersion coefficient model provided a much more accurate description of experimental results.

Electrodialysis reversal (EDR) uses electric current to achieve removal of hardness and other ions.

The variable dispersion coefficient describes the experimental results more accurately.

Electrodialysis reversal (EDR) uses electric current to remove hardness and other ions.


Just say it:

I am in a position to complete a purchase of a new car.

Due to the fact that he experienced a sudden illness, it wasnecessary that the trip be cancelled.

You should have a discussion with Prof. Rehmann if you are in a situation in which you have questions concerning the matter of dimensional analysis.


Don’t oversay it.

past memoriesvarious differenceseach individual basic fundamentalstrue factsimportant essentialsfuture plansterrible tragedyend resultfinal outcomefree giftpast historyunexpected surprisesudden crisisvery unique

large in sizeoften timesof a bright colorheavy in weightperiod in timeround in shapeat an early timeeconomics fieldof cheap qualityhonest in characterof an uncertain conditionin a confused stateunusual in natureextreme in degreeof a strange type

Revising the documentToo few words: excessive compression

Omit needless words, but don’t overdo it.

An efficient anti-aliasing spectral continuous window shifting technique for PIV (article title)

Revising the documentDiction

Avoid slang:

This report will take an in-depth look at the Yucca Mountain Project.

Avoid cliches:

These experiments go hand-in-hand with the numericalsimulations.

Don’t inflate your language:

The skier’s speed is dependent on many factors.

Revising the documentDiction

Don’t mix metaphors:

He is not the sharpest cookie in the jar.You can beat a dead horse to water, but you can't make him drink. That's the pot calling the kettle's bluff. He's got too many oars in the fire. It's not rocket surgery. I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. The monkey is in your court. Not to put her up on a limestone, but my sister is really terrific. We are treading on thin water We'll burn those bridges when we get to them.

Revising the documentActive/passive voice

Prefer the active voice:

The effect of flow length on longitudinal dispersivity was studied by Xu and Eckstein (1995), and it was found that the dispersivity increases with length.

The longitudinal dispersivity increases with flow length (Xu and Eckstein 1995).

Xu and Eckstein (1995) studied the effect of flow length on longitudinal dispersivity and found that the dispersivity increases with length.

Revising the document3d. Punctuation

We went to the store and bought milk.

Separate independent clauses with a comma before the conjunction (and, but, or,…).

We went to the store, and then Gunnar called.


Richard, my brother, did not hire that high school student.

Use a comma or commas to set off a non-restrictive (i.e., non-essential information) phrase or clause…

I drove my Subaru, which is green.

I drove my car that I bought in Hyannis, Massachusetts.

…but if the phrase or clause is restrictive, do not use commas.


I bought eggs, milk, and bread.

Use commas to separate items in a list:

I thank my parents, Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney.

The comma before the conjunction is optional, but it helps avoid confusion:

Documents

Announcements 1. Next week: Chris Milner, Kimley-Horn & Associates 2. How to do well in CE 104 a. Participate in your group b. Read the comments on the