Anger Management Redone

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8-May-11 National Training Institute

Anger, Conflict, and Criticism

Management

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AngerConflict Criticism


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Life is Difficult

Thats the Norm!!!

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What is Anger?

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy,

human emotion which allows us to respond and take

action against danger or injustice.

It varies in intensity from mild irritation to fury andrage and is accompanied by physical changes in the

body and energy hormones.

8-May-11 National Training Institute 3


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When an angry episode occurs all of the following

are involved:

Cognition our present thoughts

Emotion the physiological arousal our anger

produces

Communication the way we display our anger

to others

The effect of anger on others fear, hostility

Behaviour the way we act when we are angry



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a.W

e are responsible for our own lifesituation and the choices we make

about responding to it.

b.W

e must manage our expectationsof other people, situations, and

ourselves.

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Anger Defined


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c.

There is no way to work withpeople on conflict free basis

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d.G

ood criticism (descriptive)provides information that can be

put to good use to solve a

problem and not attack a persondirectly. If you know the

difference between descriptive

and judgmental criticism, you can

reduce conflict by

60%-80%.

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e. Anger is the first emotion to beexperienced and the last to be

controlled.

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Myths about Anger

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GIVEN IN THE NOTES

ARE THE

MYTHS OF ANGERAND THEIR

DESCRIPTIVE METHODS

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The fear of conflict

(1) Fear of the unknown

(2) Fear of our own feelings or the feelings

of others

(3) Fear of lack of personal control or

personal skills

(4) Fear that things will get worse(5) Fear of not being liked

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tenderfoot toughie


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Tough vs. Tender

Behaviour

Tough is not mean

&

Tender is not weak.

You have to be able to utilize both styles as

situations dictate.

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Tough meansgoal oriented, forceful, by the

book, logical, bottom line,consistent, focused,

conservative and determined.

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Tough behaviour is appropriate when:

a) Output is critical

b) There can be no debate

c) A non-negotiable deadline exists

d) Resources are limited

e) Ethical, moral, legal values at stake

f) When competition is keen

g) When someone has to take charge

h) A decision has been made and must be carried out

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Tender means

receptive, open minded,

thoughtful, understanding, intouch, tolerant, unselfish,

spontaneous.

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Tender behaviour is appropriate when:

a) Ample time and resources are available

b) Other peoples commitment are at stake

c) Excellence is the only acceptable outcome

d) There is not enough information to make a quality decision

e) There are several acceptable ways to get things done

f) People have hurt feelings over significant issues

g) The situation is complex and understanding will require

substantial effort

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Anger is a habit



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The fact does exist that anger is a habit and

we conceal it well within ourselves. Our

smiles, our false pretences, our pseudo face at

many a time. We do have a

Dr, Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

side to our personas.



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Criticism

Three typical reasons for criticism:

(1) Different values

(2) Envy

(3) Misunderstanding

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The real meaning of criticism

when people criticize, they are really

giving information aboutthemselves, not necessarily you.

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EXAMPLE: Thats an ugly tie,tells us you dont like the tie, not

that it is innately ugly.

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The danger of seeking too much

approval the more you need

approval of other people, the more

you can be manipulated by them.

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How to give criticism without arguing

dont say, I disagree with you. A person is

a result of his / her own thoughts and ideas,

and such a statement will be taken personallyin a negative way.

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A Model For Initiating Confrontation

(1) Right now the situation is that

(2) The problem that this causes is

(3) The concern I have about this is

(4) Id like to seeId like to suggest

(5) Its my understanding that we havenow agreed to

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Ground Rules - Do it

privately, tell me as soon

as it is a problem, uselanguage that I can put to

good use; I have the option

of discussing it now orlater after giving it some

thought.

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SOLVING THE

PROBLEM IS THE

GOALNOT

WINNING!

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Questions

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Anger Management Redone